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Instead of crass and discriminatory "jokes", I prefer to get my chuckles from wholesome humor, such as: "my god, the scrimbly blumbo!" Hahahaha! Really, there's no need for slurs and put-downs when comedy like "skcrunklo bonglo bingo" is available! I am racist as fuck though,

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whatever happens now is entirely the fault of the united states and israel

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pro lifer blocked me on twitter for asking this but if embryos have souls, and then they're aborted, exactly how sapient are they in the afterlife? Are they forever doomed to float around with no thoughts in their heads? Is it like just animal intelligence like a little happy goldfish? Do they still have an embryonic form? I've always seen an assumption that child souls are still in child form so I guess so. Do the other people in the afterlife keep abortions as little pets? Will they stay in a fishbowl or are they too stupid + intangible and float right out again?

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I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

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United Healthcare getting sued by its investors, because it didn't warn them that the CEO getting murdered (by the tendrils of their unmitigated greed) was going to lead to them approving more claims (for covered services that they had no right to deny) is a cartoonish example of exactly why their CEO got murdered.

Their argument is essentially "You promised us a specific profit margin that is not possible to achieve under this increased public scrutiny of your unethical practices. We only agreed to invest because of those unethical practices. So we demand compensation because you didn't warn us that you'd be behaving more ethically"

And idk. Satire isn't just dead. We've pissed on its corpse and now it's dissolving in lye.

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good news i'm the most fuckable person at this vehicular manslaughter

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Many such cases

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just met a three month old pomeranian named horchata. her paw was the size of my fingertip. she looked like half a dandelion fluff

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so we all know the inherent tragedy that shen jiu died silently and unwitnessed, and yue qingyuan left with unresolved secrets he didn’t think he’d never have a chance to share

what would have happened if yue qingyuan had been replaced overnight, and his guilty devotion dissolved like it had never happened.

obviously, a millennial transmigrator would not be able to fake being the sect leader as well as shen yuan was able to slip into place as a peak lord, there would be innumerable more responsibilities that an average person wouldn’t know what the fuck to do with, so they would need to rely on the peak lord a lot more to support him, especially his second in command shen qingqiu. who does not know how to feel about the fact that yqy doesn’t helplessly seek out his nonexistent approval in any way.

there is nothing of qi-ge left in this man. he had thought yqy had killed the slave boy in him before, but now recognizes how much of the boy he’d cared for was left, by the shape of his absence now.

… instead of shen yuan, though, perhaps it would be more thematically appropriate to insert his unnamed oldest brother. a second generation heir to a newly rich family, the responsibilities of making sure their fortune and foundation are stable, the inescapable worries about his siblings.

this shen da-ge would still be able to project his worried affection on shen jiu, maybe, but i can assume he’d be better resigned to the recognition that this angry younger brother wants nothing to do with him anymore.

i could hope that this shen da-ge would put a little more effort into understanding the man he is now, as opposed to shen yuan, who had assumed because of his encyclopedic knowledge of the events it meant that there wasn’t any point in being curious about who shen qingqiu was.

i don’t know what kind of evidence yue qingyuan might have left revealing his personal tragedy… poor shen da-ge has to work as a detective for a crime that happened decades ago with a frightening lack of clues, while managing his incredibly suspicious and not-at-all-terrified shidi, AND managing a sect that spans an entire mountain range. at least he’d probably find airplane a lot faster than shen yuan in this position though…

i don’t write anymore but this is so painful and compelling to me. fuck. good luck shen da-ge…

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Claiming he could easily fit into a similar position at most companies, local CEO Mike Waltke told reporters Monday that his skill set was transferable to any job that requires an inept dumbass to receive a big salary. “I have the incompetence necessary to effortlessly transition into a role at any company that yields a seven-figure income,” said Waltke, adding that as long as a business pays him millions of dollars a year, he’ll adapt quickly with his long resume of botching simple tasks and making stupid fucking decisions.

Full Story

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"Contractors hired by the Trump administration have removed a memorial wall to fallen staffers from the now-closed headquarters of the U.S. Agency for International Development, with no immediate word on where it will wind up. Engraved tiles on the wall honor 99 USAID staffers killed in the line of duty around the world. [...] Among them was Xulhaz Mannan of Bangladesh, a prominent LGBTQ rights activist who worked for the USAID Office of Democracy and Governance at the Bangladesh Mission in Dhaka, Bangladesh. He was hacked to death alongside fellow gay rights activist Tanay Majumder by Islamic fundamentalist extremists on April 25, 2016."

May 7, 2025

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In modern Mario Kart series games, an advanced technique to escape a Spiny Shell is to use a Mushroom with extremely precise timing after the Spiny Shell prepares to hit.

In Mario Kart World, CPU drivers on higher difficulties have actually been given the ability to perform this technique, which is just one of many additions to the CPU behavior in this game that results in them being more formidable opponents than in previous games.

Note Luigi escaping the Spiny Shell unscathed in the footage.

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