chocolate-milkuwu - Tumblr blog

[chocolate-milkuwu]

writing dean winchester is like. he’s hideously selfish. he’s the most selfless person in the world. he’s pathetic. he’s strong. he’s completely clueless about his feelings. he feels everything too much. he hates himself. he’s the cockiest son of a bitch you’ll ever meet. he ignores his fear. his fear consumes him. he’s protective. he wants someone to protect him. he’s controlling and possessive. he’s soft-hearted and kind. he wants to bear the weight of the world because it’s the only thing that makes him feel useful. he doesn’t want to feel responsible for everyone and everything. he loves the hunting life. he just wants to be normal. he loves his brother. he hates his brother. he loves his father. he hates his father. he loves his mother. he hates his mother.

and writing sam winchester is like. he’s never fit in anywhere. he just wants to belong. he wants to get away from his family. he doesn’t want to let his family down. he’s full of anger. he’s the gentlest man in the world. he’s never had the ability to choose. he’ll do anything to preserve other people’s ability to choose. he’s a good hunter. he wants to be anything else but a hunter. he’s defiant. he’s complacent. he’s ashamed of the things he’s done. he’s proud of himself for who he is. he doesn’t ever want to kill. he’ll kill anything that threatens someone he loves. he feels suffocated by his brother’s love. his brother’s love is the only true thing he’s ever known. he hates his father. he loves his father.

everything about these characters is a contradiction. how can you not want to eat them alive, absorb them into your blood, and then spend the rest of your life trying to write them into a world where every single one of these things is true at the same time??? i’m absolutely. insane

[chocolate-milkuwu]

SUPERNATURAL l S3E05 Bedtime Stories

[chocolate-milkuwu]

pretty♡⸝⸝

[chocolate-milkuwu]

TW: discussion of ephebophilia (sexual attraction to adolescent children). In general, the contents of this poll can be upsetting, so please be careful.

*There was also another episode (if I’m not mistaken, from season 15), but I don’t remember its number.

[chocolate-milkuwu]

dean fucking sam and sam demanding him to be rough and accidentally letting a “daddy” slip out and dean is utterly confused, slightly freaked out, and so turned on he can’t think

[chocolate-milkuwu]

hav. have you guys seen jared’s first audition for sam and he says dean and it’s all high pitched and squeaky. yeaah…. you should.. watch it…

( skip to 4:40 for the ‘dean!’ part )

[chocolate-milkuwu]

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

[chocolate-milkuwu]

is this anything?

[chocolate-milkuwu]

they should’ve never got rid of deans rings ….. sam liked the feeling of being punched and backhanded with them

[chocolate-milkuwu]

what's crazy to me is that supernatural is a whole ass incest show they have father and daughter kissing they have the son calling his mother a babe they have brothers named after their (married) grandparents they have said brothers being soulmates they have big brother and little brother drowning in homoerotic subtext and the list goes on and yet SOMEHOW people still act surprised when they find out sam and dean are shipped 😭😭 like????

even the show instead of going "wtf fans are shipping the brothers lets ignore this and not talk about it until it goes away" they went "oh the fans are shipping the brothers lets have sam and dean being confused with a couple again and again and lets have a character writing wincest fiction and reading it out loud in an episode and also lets have two characters cosplaying sam and dean that are actually dating"

not subtle AT ALL and yet.....

[chocolate-milkuwu]

See if you didnt know sam's height and didnt have something to compared it with, you'd think he is the smallest littlest tiniest baby fawn you need to pick up and hold gently. Spiritually he is pocket sized and he will forever and ever be the "kid brother", the baby boy

[chocolate-milkuwu]

More post covid, what else is new

[chocolate-milkuwu]

dean is constantly fighting the parasites in his brain that tell him to call sam sweetheart and kiddo

[chocolate-milkuwu]

i think part of what makes wincest so appealing is like. not just that they both desire each other carnally and love endlessly and tragically but like. sam wants to be chased and ripped apart and devoured and dean wants to chase and dig his hands inside and devour, and then put sam back together. dean does not trust himself with anyone but can’t trust anyone else to take care of sam. sam would die for a cause, die to be good, but dean’s cause is to keep him alive and sam will always listen. they will make each other bleed but always stitch each other up. they find the other with flesh in his teeth and blood up to his elbows and are horrified, but never scared. maybe they are both monsters but they were monsters made to withstand and consume and love each other.

they are cain and abel they are michael and lucifer they are romeo and juliet they are jesus and mary they are antigone and polynices they are orpheus and eurydice they are tenderness and horror and devotion and betrayal and no matter what happens you were always mine first.

i’ll kill for you i’ll die for you i’ll die without you god i could just kill you right now. i can’t won’t don’t know how to lose you. i hate you as much as i love you i could never hate you please don’t hate me. i’ll turn myself into a monster for you you’d never be a monster to me would you hunt me if i was? would you keep my head on the wall like a trophy? i’d let you i’d let you if you’d keep me.

i would defy heaven for you type love. i would kill anyone i know if they threaten you type love. please never leave my sight even if i can’t stand you right now type love. i was born loving you and i don’t know anything else type love. no one else will ever begin to comprehend me the way you do type love. what the fuck could ever compare to that.

[chocolate-milkuwu]

bugs. episode of all time. has a 6.8 star IMDB rating when every other s1 episode averages around 8-9. the opening shot of sam lying sluttily on the hood of the impala. sam and dean being mistaken for a gay couple looking to buy property. sam and dean pretending to be a gay couple looking to buy property. "okay honey". dean slapping sam on the ass? the only time in the show i've seen sam and dean use umbrellas (finding out that kripke never wanted them to use umbrellas bc they weren't manly enough??) sam and dean breaking and entering and squatting :") a kid with a bug fixation, ostracised by his dad, who sam has an immediate connection with. winchester family dynamics. bugs as the ghost of settler colonial violence haunting American suburban gentrification. bugs as a metaphor for how fragile the facade of white picket fence suburbia really is. sam and dean aren't able to kill their way out of this week's monster. all they're able to do is save people, temporarily. they don't get to break the curse, and that's the point. it's bigger than either of them. hunting as a cycle of frontier violence perpetuating itself, and for once there are no black-or-white solutions. supernatural will never deal with this theme again! anyways, they put cast and crew in a room with 65000 bees but the damned bees didn't show up properly on camera so they ended up using CGI bees. they look horrible.

[chocolate-milkuwu]

bugs. episode of all time. has a 6.8 star IMDB rating when every other s1 episode averages around 8-9. the opening shot of sam lying sluttily on the hood of the impala. sam and dean being mistaken for a gay couple looking to buy property. sam and dean pretending to be a gay couple looking to buy property. "okay honey". dean slapping sam on the ass? the only time in the show i've seen sam and dean use umbrellas (finding out that kripke never wanted them to use umbrellas bc they weren't manly enough??) sam and dean breaking and entering and squatting :") a kid with a bug fixation, ostracised by his dad, who sam has an immediate connection with. winchester family dynamics. bugs as the ghost of settler colonial violence haunting American suburban gentrification. bugs as a metaphor for how fragile the facade of white picket fence suburbia really is. sam and dean aren't able to kill their way out of this week's monster. all they're able to do is save people, temporarily. they don't get to break the curse, and that's the point. it's bigger than either of them. hunting as a cycle of frontier violence perpetuating itself, and for once there are no black-or-white solutions. supernatural will never deal with this theme again! anyways, they put cast and crew in a room with 65000 bees but the damned bees didn't show up properly on camera so they ended up using CGI bees. they look horrible.

[chocolate-milkuwu]

campbells, winchesters, and the subtext of incestuous trauma