chrisredfield73

[chrisredfield73]

someone get me an interview with the game devs i have to know why tumbleweeds make the same sound as metal floors

[chrisredfield73]

I just saw this comment under a tiktok of Boone and it's taking me out

[chrisredfield73]

Raul after the courier spends 6 consecutive hours gambling at casinos instead of catching the guy that literally shot them in the head

[chrisredfield73]

What is or isn’t a slur can be highly contextual, y'all.

“Jonny Sims bummed a fag off my ma” doesn’t contain a slur, but “What are you, some kind of fag?” does.

“Queer studies”, “the queer community” and “I’m queer”? Not a slur. Some bigot calling you a “dirty queer”? Slur.

“Be gay, do crimes” and “He’s gay” ≠ slur, but “Ew, that’s so gay” = slur.

In conclusion, stop buying into this fucking “q slur” bullshit. Queer people talking about the queer community aren’t using it as a slur any more than a gay man calling himself gay is using that term as a slur.

[chrisredfield73]

omg hii !!! hi you're home!!! (jerks you off to completion)

[chrisredfield73]

kicked outta diamond city 4 fuckin da microwave

[chrisredfield73]

I hope i never breach containment i like it here

[chrisredfield73]

Simon: I like your dress. Y/n: Thanks, it was 50% off. Simon: I'd like it 100% off. Y/n: The store can't just give out stuff for free. Simon: That's not what I — Y/n: It's terrible way to run a buisness, Simon !

[chrisredfield73]

Having brain rot about fallout 4

The companion Paladin Danse, who is a romancable NPC, from minute one wants to hop on it. You start bullying this guy and pick the mean dialogue and he's out here replying like

"Oh, uh sorry... no i was just suggesting this idea is all 🥺👉👈"

Whats your opinion pathetic mean lovers website.

[chrisredfield73]

i don't understand how people play stardew valley slowly. if i haven't basically completed the community centre by the end of the first year i will go insane

[chrisredfield73]

unfortunately the best advice i can give to everyone bad at fishing in stardew valley is that you just need to get good at fishing in stardew valley

[chrisredfield73]

[chrisredfield73]

ah, my wife (a traumatized older man)

[chrisredfield73]

I got a wisdom tooth removed today GHSKSHKS my face is so round I sob 😭

Random headcanon before I take a nap:

Pyro makes friendship bracelets. For all the mercs. Scout would too, but this isn't about him.

[chrisredfield73]

you punch nazis!

(requested by anonymous)

[chrisredfield73]

36 with Engineer please!

Okay finally actually doing reqs after being dead for so long, holy fuck. Sorry it took so long but I hope you enjoy!!

Nsfw under the cut :3

You had decided to be a tease after being pent up for so long. Dell was often working, so you two didn't have much time to do much of anything. You'd always have to schedule things around his work schedule, and you couldn't help but wonder what happens if you don't set up a night just for you two...

You sent Dell a few pictures, each one more revealing than the last. It started off as a simple photo of you in your cute little outfit, and then there was less and less clothing the more you sent. The last ends up with you, sitting in front of the mirror. You're not wearing anything at all but you're positioned where he can just barely see a bit too much and too little at the same time.

It takes him about an hour to look at the pictures you had sent, and all you get is a simple text. Your name. You giggle, knowing he's hot under his collar at work. You can't help but be a little tease, asking him what's wrong and if you look good. He doesn't respond.

By the time he gets home, you have dinner ready. Just as you go to greet him at the door, he swoops you up and carries you over to the bedroom. "You sent me nudes at work! What were you thinking?!" He scolds, though there's no real venom in his words. It's clear he's been thinking about what he'll do to you when you're alone. You tease him a little more, leaning in, "What's wrong, baby? Did I not look good?"

He leans in as well, dropping you onto the bed. His voice is huskier now, his southern accent thick. "You looked damn good, darlin'. But I think you look better in person." With that, he pulls you in for a deep kiss. It's not rough, but it's full of passion and need. He's a bit messy with it since he's been thinking about taking you all day. He groans, pulling away to strip you. His eyes scan your body with each article of clothing gone, his hands softly caressing your body as he kisses and nips at your neck.

His hands descend lower and lower, gently teasing your entrance. He chuckles a bit, "I've got you now, honey. You're all mine for the night." He leans in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips as he eases a finger in. He's gentle with it like he always is, pumping his finger in and out in a slow, careful rhythm. He doesn't want to hurt you, no, he'd rather sit on base all day with the annoying mercs than hurt his sweet little honeybee. He eases a second finger in, pumping it in time with the other before beginning to move them in a scissoring motion. He's taking his time, stretching you out so his girth doesn't hurt you.

"You're doing so good, honeybee." He murmurs against your lips as you whimper and moan against his. He adds a third finger in, ensuring you're stretched enough, before pulling his fingers out. He begins to strip as well, his cock aching to be freed from the confines of his clothes. He pumps himself a few times, watching your chest rise and fall with each breath. He can tell how needy you are, listening to your pleas as you grow impatient. Your voice echoes through the air of your shared bedroom, needy and whiney. "Please, Dell.. I need you." He lets out a soft groan before positioning himself over you, guiding himself to your entrance.

"Easy, darlin'. No need to rush." He coos, slowly slipping in and groaning at the feeling of your heat wrapped around his length, pulling him in so desperately. "Shit, honeybee.." He grunts, rocking his hips gently, working inch after inch of his length into your aching heat. You moan, wrapping your legs around him and grasping his shoulders. "Dell..!" He leans in, kissing you softly as he grinds his cock further and further in until your hips meet. He gives you time to adjust before starting a slow, steady rhythm. He caresses your cheek, staring down at you with a look of pure love and lust.

He grunts when your back arches, the head of his length hitting the spot that makes you see stars. "Right there, huh, sugar?" He says with a smirk before his brows furrow in concentration, his thrusts beginning to pick up in speed but no less gentle. He leans down, kissing along your neck. You would've teased him, asking him if his back was popping and aching, if you had the mind to. Right now, all you're focused on is the way he works himself in and out, the way he groans and grunts when you begin to clench around him.

Your moans and cries start to get louder, get longer and more frequent. He presses his forehead to yours, one hand on your hip and the other finding yours to hold your hand. "Come on, honeybee. Let go f'me.." He drawls, watching your back arch higher. He watches the way your chest heaves, your body tensing as you begin to tremble. Your hips subconsciously buck back into his, chasing that high as a warm knot begins to form in your stomach. Your eyes roll back and with a cry, you come undone on his throbbing length.

"So pretty.." He grunts, watching the way your eyes flutter as your mouth forms an 'o'. Your heat clenching around him ultimately sends him over the edge too, he groans and his fingers tighten their hold on your hand as he spills his seed into your walls which eagerly milk him in return. His thrusts turn into slow grinds before stopping all together. He pants with you for a moment, before slowly pulling out with a wince. He gets up as you lay on the bed. You don't even notice that he left until he enters the room again, this time with a washcloth in hand.

He cleans you up, his touch so gentle and loving. Once he's finished, he puts the washcloth in the dirty clothes hamper and rummages through the dresser for a moment. He pulls a pair of boxers on before gently dressing you up in your pajamas. You're half asleep, letting him take care of you like he always has. He lays next to you on the bed, kissing you on the forehead. "Goodnight, honeybee. Sleep well.."

The dinner you made for him sits on the dining room table, now cold and forgotten.

[chrisredfield73]

everyone dunking on that automated fleshlight sex toy needs to remember that disabled people get horny too ok 💜