chriswilt1015 - Tumblr blog

chriswilt1015 · 6 months

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10 posts!

#10 posts #tumblr milestone

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chriswilt1015 · 7 months

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Darkness

By Christopher Wilt

In the depths of sorrow, my heartache resides,

A broken soul, tossed in life's treacherous tides.

Divorce has come, tearing us apart,

Leaving me with a heavy burden, a shattered heart.

Oh, the pain of a love lost, so deep and profound,

A terminal illness, my time ticking down.

I yearn for the moments we could have shared,

Together, in love, if fate had only spared.

Loneliness engulfs me, in the silence of the night,

Memories haunting, like ghosts taking flight.

Each passing day, a reminder of what's gone,

Aching for solace, but feeling so alone.

The tears flow freely, like rivers of despair,

My spirit wounded, burdened by the wear and tear.

A broken soul, seeking solace in the darkness,

Hoping for redemption, for a chance to harness.

The weight of it all, so heavy to bear,

Yet, I find strength amidst the pain and despair.

For in this darkness, I search for the light,

A flicker of hope, to guide me through the night.

I wait for the inevitable, the embrace of death,

Longing for release, with each passing breath.

But until that moment, I'll endure the sorrow,

Finding solace in poetry, hoping for a better tomorrow.

Though I am burdened by heartache and strife,

I refuse to let sadness define my life.

I'll rise above this pain, with courage I'll see,

That even in darkness, there's a chance to be free.

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chriswilt1015 · 7 months

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Broken

In the depths of a broken marriage's wake,

Where love has withered, our hearts now ache,

A tale of separation, betrayal, and pain,

We navigate this path, our souls drained.

Once, we danced in the moonlight's gleam,

Dreaming of a future, an everlasting dream,

But time, it can be cruel and unkind,

Unveiling secrets hidden in the confines.

A fortress of trust, we had built so strong,

Each brick laid with love, nothing went wrong,

Yet shadows crept in, tarnishing the light,

And darkness enveloped our once pure delight.

Betrayal, a dagger that pierced through the heart,

Tearing us apart, wanting to break free and depart,

The weight of the truth became too much to bear,

As shattered dreams lay scattered everywhere.

In the silence of nights filled with despair,

We wander through this world, lost and aware,

Of the promises broken, the vows left behind,

Seeking solace in memories, trying to rewind.

The words once spoken, now bitter and sour,

Echoing in our minds, like a relentless shower,

The hurt seeps deep, nourishing the pain,

A constant reminder of a love in vain.

But dare we linger in the darkness of the past,

Or embrace the light, set our hearts free at last?

For in these moments of trial and strife,

We learn to redefine the meaning of life.

They say wounds heal with time's gentle touch,

But scars remain, reminding us so much,

Of the battles fought, the battles lost,

And the strength we summoned at such a cost.

Yet we yearn for redemption, a fresh start,

To forgive, to heal, to mend every broken part,

For the pain we've endured has made us strong,

Guiding us towards where we truly belong.

So let us seize the fragments of our broken bond,

Rebuild love's bridge with resilience so fond,

And rise above the chaos, the storms that surround,

Embracing a new beginning, love unbound.

Our hearts, scarred but not broken, find their way,

Through the darkness, towards a brighter day,

For even in the depths of despair and pain,

We find the strength to love again.

#healing

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chriswilt1015 · 7 months

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To my beautiful wife,

It has been quite some time since we last spoke, and I've often found myself lost in a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts. Today, however, I felt compelled to reach out and share my journey with you, as I believe it resonates with some of the challenges you may be facing.

Life has a peculiar way of taking unexpected turns, and sadly, my path took a particularly challenging detour. It began with the separation from my family, which was a blow I never saw coming. The pain of separation is like a vortex that swallows all happiness, leaving only an unbearable emptiness in its wake.

But amidst the shambles, there came an even greater challenge - an illness that tested my strength, both physically and mentally. Coping with a debilitating illness is a double-edged sword; you learn to appreciate the value of life, but it also serves as a constant reminder of your limitations. Simple tasks became mountainous obstacles, and the burden of my own thoughts seemed unbearable.

Depression, anxiety, and addiction soon followed suit, entangling me in an intricate web I struggled to free myself from. Every step towards recovery felt like an uphill battle, as though the weight of the world rested on my shoulders. The darkness seemed inescapable, a constant companion whispering lies into my ears and convincing me that life was not worth living.

But, dear friend, I am writing to you today because I found a way to overcome these adversities. It was not an easy journey, nor a linear one. It was filled with heartache, setbacks, and countless moments of despair. However, within the confines of my darkest moments, I found strength, resilience, and a determination to reclaim my life.

I dug deep and realized that healing begins within. I embarked on a journey of self-discovery, seeking therapy and support to address the deep-rooted pain that had festered within me for far too long. Through therapy, I learned to confront and process the emotions that had kept me imprisoned in a state of despair. It was a process that required vulnerability and a level of honesty I had not previously embraced.

In addition to therapy, I took control of my physical health. I sought medical treatment for my illness, finding solace in knowing that there were professionals who could guide me along the path of recovery. Small victories in my physical health served as the catalyst for my mental well-being, allowing me to regain control of my life one step at a time.

But perhaps the most profound lesson I learned was the importance of a support system. Loneliness and isolation often exacerbate our struggles, while the presence of a loving and understanding network creates a sanctuary of healing. I surrounded myself with individuals who supported and uplifted me, shedding toxic relationships that hindered my progress. Family, friends, and even newfound companions became the pillars that held me up when I felt like collapsing.

Through this arduous journey of self-discovery, therapy, medical treatments, and the support of my loved ones, I began to rebuild the foundation of my life. Slowly, I regained control over my depression, anxiety, and addiction. I realized that my separation need not define the rest of my life but merely served as a catalyst for personal growth and transformation.

So, dear friend, I implore you to find solace in the fact that your journey is not over. Every day marks a new beginning - a chance to rewrite your story, to reclaim what was lost, and to rebuild a stronger version of yourself. While the forces that oppose us may be overwhelming, it is through resilience and unwavering determination that we can overcome them.

I, too, share your desire to reunite with my family. The pain of separation leaves an indelible mark, but it is not insurmountable. Reach out to your loved ones with the newfound strength and hope that resides within you. Show them the progress you have made, the person you are becoming, and remind them of the love that still burns within your heart. While the journey may be long and challenging, the destination is worth every effort.

In closing, let me assure you that you are not alone. Life has its way of guiding us towards opportunities for growth, even in the face of seemingly insurmountable challenges. Embrace the pain, confront it head-on, and channel it into personal growth. You are stronger than you know, capable of enduring and overcoming even the darkest of times.

May this letter serve as a beacon of hope, reminding you of the strength and determination that resides within you. You are worthy of love, healing, and happiness. Remember that you are not defined by your past but rather the resilience that will forge your future. I wish you all the strength and courage on your journey towards reclaiming the life you deserve.

With love,

Christopher Wilt

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chriswilt1015 · 7 months

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I've never put any of my writings up for people to see. And that's because I was always tought that men don't put their feelings and emotions out for others to see. That if you do, it would make you look weak. You would be less of a man. But after 40 years of trauma, addictions, depression anxiety and failed suicide attempts. I have so many writings some as poems some as songs of many different styles and just letters written with no intention of being sent. I've finally learned it doesn't fucking matter what everyone else thinks the only people that do matter are the ones who support you through the hard times. I left my lack of confidence push away most everyone including my wife who literally saved my life more than once. So with that being said I hope that others can take lesson from my works and use them to better themselves.

Inner thoughts

By Christopher W. 9/1/23

In the deep folds of a restless mind, the whispers of feeling lost and unwanted echo relentlessly. The weight of such emotions can be suffocating, gradually eroding the foundation upon which love once flourished. It's a heartbreaking reality to endure, the emptiness that now looms between two souls woven so intricately together.

Every rejection is a prickling thorn, a painful reminder of a love that may be unraveling. The stinging feeling of being cast aside and unwanted cuts deep, etching scars upon the heart that seem irreparable. It's hard to find solace in a relationship once treasured when the very person who vowed to love you unconditionally imbues you with confusion and doubt.

But remember, dear soul, that love can be a fickle dance, fragile and unpredictable. It weaves intricate patterns of joy and pain, hope and despair. Moments of bliss are interlaced with moments of despair, not because you are unwanted, but because humans are complex creatures, flawed in understanding, and fallible in their actions.

Perhaps it's time to delve into the depths of your own being, to reflect and search for the answers that lie dormant within. It is you who can navigate through the labyrinth of emotions and delve into the intricate layers of a relationship that seems to be crumbling. Speak openly and honestly with your beloved, for communication can be a beacon of light amidst the storm, helping bridge the divide that has grown between you.

Yet, as you engage in this daunting pursuit of rediscovering one another, remember that love is not unconditional if it obscures your self-worth. You deserve to be cherished, valued, and respected as an equal partner in the tapestry of love. Consider whether this sense of lostness and being unwanted is a byproduct of your own insecurities or a genuine reflection of a deteriorating bond. Seek solace and guidance from trusted confidants or a professional who can gently navigate the murky waters of your emotions.

In the midst of heartache, it's natural to contemplate the idea of ending it all, hoping that severing the ties will bring closure and relief. But before you commit to this irreversible decision, question whether you have truly exhausted all avenues, whether you have fought diligently for the love you once shared. Remember that love is a journey, an endless intricacy of growth and transformation, with high peaks and tumultuous ravines. But within the darkest chasms, often lie the seeds of hope, waiting for the right conditions to bloom again.

Regardless of the path you choose, my dear friend, remember that your worth is not determined solely by another's affection or lack thereof. You are a beautifully unique soul, worthy of love and belonging. Embrace the lessons learned, draw on your resilience, and forge a path that nourishes your spirit, whether it leads towards healing or new beginnings.

And in the midst of your confusion and pain, hold onto the glimmers of self-love and forgiveness. For these are the torches that will guide you through the labyrinth, leading you to a place of clarity, relief, and, above all, inner peace.

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chriswilt1015 · 1 year

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