acestation-blog

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You’re absolutely right! To clarify, it’s not that there’s no right way, it’s that there’s no singular right way.

there is no ‘right’ way to be ace there is no ‘right’ way to be aro

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Is it a common thing for demiromantic people to get confused on which attraction they're feeling? Sometimes I'm not sure if I like someone platonically or romantically because we have to be good friends before I get romantic feelings. Plus alterous attraction is a thing so I'm like ????

Hey, sorry this took so long to get back to, and thanks for being so patient about it! That’s 300% a thing, for the record; some people call themselves quoi or wtfromantic because of it. Sometimes it can be difficult or just plain impossible to tell types of attraction apart, and being demi can further muddle that. It seems pretty common to me! (Also you’re absolutely right, alterous attraction is a thing.)If anyone has experience with this, feel free to chime in!

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Hey folks, check this out! 

Ace discord server

Hey friends, since we recently lost a Discord platform that turned out to be a great community, @roborose and I are trying to create a new one.

Our server is called SafespAce. It’s just a platform for aces all over the spectrum to meet, talk, and share experiences in a safe environment. It’s sex-repulsed friendly and minor friendly since anything close to nsfw goes on a specific 18+ channel. There’s also a discourse specific channel to accommodate aces who want to steer clear of that.

We’re just starting so we appreciate signal boosts! Anyone who identifies as asexual (including gray, demi, etc) are welcome. Shoot me an ask off anon or message me for the link.

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Pardon me, please

Things have been rough lately- I’m still alive and kicking, but it’s been one hell of a fight to keep doing that. I make no promises, but I’ll try my best to update this blog when I can, because you folks deserve as much. On that note, I’d like to encourage anyone who wants to send asks or submissions to do so, as I am but one person and they help me bring more content to everyone. I’m also going to start up a positivity tag for alterous attraction (referring to a form of attraction that is neither fully platonic nor romantic, in the simplest terms I can think of), because it’s a relatively unknown category of attraction and I’d like more people to have access to information and positivity for it.  (Ideally I’d also like to start up another blog for that, but I’d need to get this one up and running on a regular basis first!) Be well, everyone, and thank you so much for bearing with me and sticking around!  Thanks, Management

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Reminder to everyone under the a spectrum that you’re wonderful the way you are and I hope you’re having a wonderful day!

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Alterous attraction is just as valid as romantic attraction. Alterous relationships are just as valid as romantic relationships.

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You don’t need to fit perfectly to a definition of asexual to call yourself ace.

You don’t need to fit perfectly to a definition of aromantic to call yourself aro.

You don’t need to fit completely into the definition of asexual and aromantic to call yourself aroace.

Demiromantics can call themselves aro, greysexuals can call themselves ace. There’s no reason to gatekeep neither aro nor ace. These are both spectums and all of us can use them if we are on them.

You can also be aroace and something else, like aroace lesbian and aroace ply. You can define your orientation solely by other types of attraction than sexual and romantic attraction.

You are valid, you can call yourself these things, I will respect this and so do many others.

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Your profile picture is extremely cute

Aww, thank you! It was really fun to make, even though getting it to show up properly was an absolute pain. (I love yours too, by the way!)

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I hope all nonbinary aces and aros are having a really nice day.✿✿✿

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Asexual Awareness Week Fandom Challenge

I haven’t seen an Asexual Awareness Week Fandom Challenge for this year, and it’s a tradition I’d like to see continue, so here are my suggestions for it. Feel free to adapt as you please. You are encouraged to respond in any form you’d like, (meta, fanart, fanfic, playlists, quotes, edits, GIFS, etc.). As it has been in years past, the tag is #AAWFC

Sunday, October 23rd: Post about canonically asexual spectrum characters, and/or what you would like to see in future asexual representation.

Monday, October 24th: Post about asexual spectrum original characters, either your own, or a friend’s (with their permission!). These OCs can be from original fiction or fanfic.

Tuesday, October 25th: Post about characters you headcanon as asexual.

Wednesday, October 26th: Post a review, link, or promo for asexual spectrum literature. This can be for any type of literature (fiction, fanfiction, comics, webcomics, nonfiction, poetry, etc.).

Thursday, October 27th: Post about characters you headcanon as grey asexual or demisexual.

Friday, October 28th: Post about how you think any of these characters interact with their own asexual community, and how being asexual affects their life and storyline.

Saturday, October 29th:  Post about a ship you headcanon as asexual (one or more partners are asexual spectrum).

I’m tagging some ace blogs I know of for signal boost purposes if that’s something you’d like to do. @fuckyeahasexual @asexualitysf @aroacehogwarts @asexualfanfiction @asexual-literature @theasexualityblog @creativeacespublishing

Have fun everyone! Happy Ace Week!

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Happy Asexual Awareness Week from your resident ace! I love you all, and I hope your weeks go as well as they possibly can. 💜

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Recently I've found a possible partner that is ace too. He's a sweetie and hella dapper. We met on an ace dating site. (First time I saw him he was dressed in a suit for the best man for a friend's wedding)

That’s amazing, congratulations!! Best of luck to you both! (also I totally want updates if you’re cool with that)

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reminder that this blog is a safe space for aspecs of every kind this includes arospecs, acespecs, and agender folks if any of you ever need to talk, both asks and IMs are welcome whenever!

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hey kids guess what week it is

“is it the week before Hallowe-” I mean true, Samhain plus Western commercialization resulting in all of the candy ever is pretty cool I guess. (Thanks, Irish and Scottish immigrants!)   But more importantly.... It’s Ace Awareness Week. (AKA Dress In Purple And Tell Terrible Ace-Related Puns Until You Lose All Of Your Friends Week) Let’s be real: 2016 has been rough on us all. So while raising awareness and sharing reliable information is incredibly important, I encourage all acespecs to take their own needs into consideration this week. That means participating only to the extent that you can reasonably do, whether that means getting 500% involved on the information side, or wearing a purple wristband and making some sweet moodboards, or even sitting this one out if need be. You do you. Advocating for an orientation people are often ill-informed about or refuse to believe exists is tiring, and there are a number of situations in which it’s just plain unsafe to speak out about it. Prioritizing your well-being is nothing to feel guilty about- we’ve got your back! As for me? Between midterms, life problems, and assignment-happy instructors stealing all my silverware, I’ve barely had energy to function, let alone run this blog. However, I will be making an effort to participate here and in real life as much as I can by posting and sharing positivity, advice, information, and possibly even sharing stories of my own. (That last one depends, though...we’ll see.) I’d also love for you guys to send any questions, stories, artwork, and the like that you want to share- I adore hearing from everyone! 

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Hey all, happy Ace Awareness Week! Check out these cool cats @a-spec-tacular and @asexual-society who are hosting an Ace-themed art contest! Entries are due by the 27th; see their blogs for more info. They also have a themed event set up for every day this week, as listed in the above graphic- in case you can’t read it, here they are: October 23rd- Ace-Spec Positivity October 24th- Ace-Spec Aesthetics (or should I say.....Acesthetics) October 25th- Ace-Spec Headcanons October 26th- Intersectional Experiences (***This is also Intersex Awareness Day***) October 27th- Ace-Spec Stories October 28th- Art Contest Results October 29th- Selfie Day Enjoy your week, and stay safe!

Ace Awareness Week is October 23rd through October 29th, and we will be partnering with @asexual-society to host a series of ace-spec-related events; all of which will be submission-based from you guys!

Submissions can either be sent directly to this blog, to @asexual-society, or submitted to the event’s tag: #AceSpectacular

Submissions must also include image descriptions; we need to maintain the accessibility we’ve promised our followers!

You’re welcome to post and submit anything up until & during the event itself, but we will not be featuring anything on the blog itself until the actual event date.

For more writing prompts, art contest prizes, guidelines, and criteria, and optional questions + more details on selfies, click here! (link)

Have fun, and we’re looking forward to seeing all the submissions from you guys!

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[acestation-blog]

local crabby admin returns from hibernation

more at 11

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I think I'm aromantic, but I still want the same intimacy and intensity from a relationship, just not romantically. Sometimes I'll find someone to share that intimacy and intensity with, but then they'll find a significant other and I'll become their 2nd favorite by default. Am I a bad person for craving the intimacy and intensity? Is there someone who feels the same way as me? How can I find them?

Apologies on the wait, anon. This has been sitting in drafts for a couple of days, because I wanted to make sure everything was worded to the best of my abilities. I’m still learning about all of this, too, but I want to help as much as I can.First off, you’re absolutely not a bad person for wanting intimacy and intensity from a relationship with someone. I know it’s tough not to feel selfish sometimes, especially since society has this wild idea that only romantic relationships are deserving of that level of emotional intensity. But it’s society that’s the problem, not you.What you’re describing sounds like you may want a QPR (quasi-platonic relationship), which is a non-romantic relationship with the same sense of closeness and commitment as you would find in your typical romantic setup. The concept is close to that of Platonic Life Partners, but what really sets it apart is that this gives it a specific name, and in doing so acknowledges the importance and priority of the relationship, bringing a stronger sense of security that it won’t be pushed aside in favor of a romantic one.QPRs can involve other aspects that are usually reserved for romantic relationships (e.g physical affection such as cuddling, hand-holding, and kissing) if wanted, but by no means is that a requirement, and the specifics of what the relationship entails are up to the individuals involved. (Likewise, the involvement of those behaviors would not invalidate the distinct, non-romantic nature of the relationship.)Currently, the term used to describe wanting a QPR with someone is alterous attraction. Defined as a desire for emotional closeness that is neither fully platonic nor romantic, the two were originally deemed separate concepts from one another due to differences in what individuals considered a QPR to be, but over time they became synonymous. Alterous relationships are sometimes considered to be a specific subset of QPRs, but aside from personal preference, the distinction is not necessarily one that needs to be made, or even one that can be made for some.(I’m but one mere person on the internet, though, and I’ve only recently come across this term myself. So if it speaks to you so far from this explanation, I suggest checking out blogs such as @alterousasteroid and @alterous-albatross​ since they’re the biggest info hubs I know of regarding all things alterous. Because it’s a relatively new and unused term there’s bound to be some conflicting information, but hey, it’s a start)While you can enter a QPR with an individual of any orientation, it may be more of a challenge to successfully build and maintain this type of relationship with someone who isn’t arospec. Be prepared for a lot of explanation- the concept isn’t easy for everyone to wrap their heads around, and can lead to very circular conversations with a whole lot of confusion and frustration. It’s ironic in an annoying way that the type of bond at the foundation of these relationships is a fairly common occurrence, but because it’s generally only focused on as top priority by arospec peeps, it suddenly becomes this foreign idea from another galaxy once you try and give it the level of meaning that gets so easily assigned to any other committed relationship. A lot of nonaros (we need a better term for this, honestly) might balk at the idea because they think it means they can’t still seek out a romantic partner, but the setup of a QPR is made specifically to allow for that- in all likelihood, it’ll only be mutually exclusive if the involved parties are aroace, or at least aroace-spec. Of course, that takes even more explanation…But it’s not impossible, trust me. I’ve had a successful one, and with any luck I’ll be able to have another someday if life wills it.So no, you’re not the only one who feels this way. The easiest way to find others who may share this experience is to look towards online communities containing or geared towards aspecs, or even by taking initiative and building a space yourself, though it’s entirely possible that one will find you when you least expect it. Life has a funny way of doing that sometimes.You’re not alone, and I believe in you.