chroniclegossip

[chroniclegossip]

Time for another edition of Antioch Answers, but we’re going to do things a little differently this time. Instead, we’re going to pay attention to our fair town, a place we’re all so (un)lucky to live in. There are a lot of interesting and unique locations to visit here, so let’s turn our attention to those that you just can’t ignore - even if you try. 

Even though Killer Pizza has some of the best pizza in the state, sometimes I think that people who work in pizza joints aren’t very smart. You get someone that calls you up with a weird name and orders a dozen pizzas, and you don’t comment? You just make the pizza and lose money? Well, lucky for every pizza place in town, they had a name and a credit card number for the unusual order they all got. Unlucky for Barry Kennedy, who I guess had his credit card stolen… unless he intentionally ordered over fifty lopsided beef only pizzas.

In the ever growing competition between the Blue Moon Diner and The Scoop, both stores have been holding promotional events with The Scoop offering up coffee tasting weekends and a lottery to win free coffee for a week, no limit! Congratulations to Becca Vergara, who can have as many pumpkin spice lattes (or just black coffee, if she’s boring and doesn’t know how to be festive) as she wants for the next seven days. Maybe she should start trying to stock up on that.

The new age darling of town known as Celestial Beings is currently offering one lucky person per day a gift box of talismans and charms! No one knows how they’re selecting the winner, and no one knows how long the special is going to go, but the congratulations list in the store says Jae Walsh has won four sets of anti-possession talismans. No one knows if Walsh has even been to the store. 

In the ever growing competition between the Blue Moon Diner and The Scoop, both stores have been holding promotional events with The Blue Moon Diner trying to remind you of just how long it’s been around. The Diner is claiming to be a family tradition and introducing you to its employees by printing their faces on the plates and offering discounts based on which employee’s plate you bring in - except somehow it seems only Ethan Weaver ended up with his face on a plate. Does it count as a collector’s item if there’s only one item in a set? (By the way, you get a discount on a plate of waffles for Ethan. Having a plate of Penny would have earned you twenty percent off steak.)

Through rain, sleet, dark of night, yadda yadda. We all know the post office is great at its job and a national treasure. We also know that we can’t say the same about shipping companies. Sometimes we get deliveries that are supposed to go to our neighbor’s door, but rarely do we get our neighbor’s neighbor’s packages or the entire street’s. People say it looks like the truck backed up and dumped every box  they had at Maharth Chandrasekhar's door and that the tower of boxes has the names of at least five different streets. 

Have you heard the news about Zippo’s? Out of all the places to break in and rob, I don’t know who would want to go into that place, but someone did. You wouldn’t think there’d be a lot of money in a place like that and you can get better prizes from just about anywhere, but the window was smashed in and when the police showed up to investigate it, sources report that every single token was gone. But not missing, nope. The tokens were found before the break in was even discovered, all of them shining and scattered across the Roseland lawn, leaving Nic Vergara to host a fucked up Arcade Easter Egg hunt. 

Like a lot of flower shops, Secret Garden has a webpage where you can order bouquets, arrangements, live plants, whatever may suit your needs. It even has a handy dandy drop down where you can select how many you need, but those drop downs aren’t always user friendly. Either through old man error or some kind of computer glitch, three truckbeds full of black dahlias have shown up at the edge of the woods for John Weaver, none of them able to make it to the man’s home. Did he mean to order this many flowers? Who knows, but he has them.

@saltedearths @iterum @ofvaliancys @ofxenigmas @anhxdonia @noirhistories @godsunderfoot

[chroniclegossip]

And welcome back to another edition of Antioch Answers! After a harrowing brush with death, yours truly is back with another round of fascinating details for the voracious mind. So, you know how tv channels like to shove Christmas in July in your face? Well, dear readers, it's come to my attention that we're halfway from Valentines, almost to the day! So on that note, let's talk about love, hate, and the fine line in between.

Everyone knows the stories about John Weaver and the woods around his land. You go in, you don't come out… Unless you have an invitation, and the APD's favorite professor to profile for homicide has been seen around town with the Weaver Patriarch and going onto his turf. Of course, Maharth Chandrasekhar is not the only one that's been spotted recently, but let's protect the names of the bloody.

Speaking of bloody, let's shift our focus to another home grown killer. Leon Walsh (Kennedy? Who knows.) gained infamy for managing to kill part of his family at just ten years old and his story has made a return with all the hype about the movie based on on those life-changing events. Instead of garnering murder groupies like Charles Manson, instead Leon has managed to get himself stabbed according to leaked information. Our tip line is open for hints on who stabbed him if it wasn't the husband he won't divorce, but until then… Paging Linus Walsh, sounds like you've got the storyline for a sequel here.

And finally, Nic Vergara has been seen disappearing into Leela Rajan's home during the middle of the day. A strange place for a man trying to get back with his ex to be, don't you think? But even if she's a grieving widow, surely Miss Rajan has needs... and they say sexually frustrated men are the most invested in construction. Maybe he wanted to try banging against the walls in a different kind of way.

@godsunderfoot @fatebinds @saltedearths @chroniichorror @noirhistories @anhxdonia

[chroniclegossip]

Welcome back to Antioch Answers, where we make sure your life is only filled with horror instead of mystery. Or do we? We're doing something a little differently today because we've have a lot of anonymous sources come to us with reports that we just can't verify, so you'll be treated to a few blind items and maybe you'll recognize the culprit.

First up is our Cat Burglar, who has stolen a baby snow leopard from the zoo. The creature was on loan and somehow managed to escape its handlers, only to be found by some citizen that threw their ice cream in the face of a security guard. The security guard, while able to identify the ice cream as Mint Chocolate Chip, has so far failed to identify the thief for the police.

Next we have our Amateur Eulman! I've heard of people being fanboys of Mothman, but some idiot decided to scale up a billboard and start throwing things at passing cars while screaming obscenities. Police were unable to get the person down until someone with a utility light shined it in Eulman's face, causing them to declare they were blind and dying while using a rope to escape and run into the fields.

No one knows what they were on, but maybe it was candles. Our next story features some Aromatic Asphyxiation. A new line of suspiciously shaped candles hit the market for a grand total of two days before being pulled. Why? Because of toxicity from the candle that sent one person to the hospital. While it's unknown what kind of venom was inhaled from the candle, the patient is apparently still living. No details on who it is, but I think a better question is who made poison candles in the first place?

Speaking of weirdly shaped things, our final shout out is to Anatomically Incorrect Artwork. Hedge artwork is quirky, classy, expensive… you name it. Messier than an ice swan, but your holly bush unicorn likely lives longer. Most people have their pre-owned hedges trimmed, but someone received a flat bed truck full of very horny hedge bushes this weekend. Centaurs with overly large dicks out, dogs the same thing, and those tall, upright hedges? Those aren't rockets blasting off. It won't be hard to spot the yard with all the , ahem, masculine design, but the homeowners swear they didn't order it and the landscaping company isn't admitting to anything. Remind me to reach out to them next time I want to send someone a birthday gift.

[chroniclegossip]

It's time for another message from Antioch Answers and what you need to know is this: Be wary of people coming with messages. Except us, of course, we're vetted.

Talking about who might be behind the Tinder Man murder has died down without any arrests and the police are still being notoriously tight-lipped about it (note: maybe we should look into that), which means it's back to talking about the living. Seems like our local cult has been all the rage lately, with Dante Hernandez being overheard talking about it with government officials. While investigated numerous times, the Stellar Society has always been out of reach for the police, but maybe they're about to fall back to Earth. If anyone goes sniffing around their home, they know exactly who to blame for it.

Not that John Weaver seems nervous about it, he's been seen all over town and even gained a few new followers, like newcomer Piper Caldwell, who hasn't even been here a year. But you know what's more interesting than an eccentric preacher luring young women over to his side? The fact he's been seen talking to his estranged son, now that makes you think. Are they really estranged? Or is it all some ploy where Alan Weaver finds the susceptible with his floppy haired ways and sends them along to daddy dearest. Only time can tell.

But if you want someone to give you a false sense of understanding about your place in the world, go check out Emine Duraz. She's been handing out fifty cent fortunes where she flips a card and then tricks you into telling her what it means with a well placed question or two. Don't be fooled by her wide eyes, she's making you do all work and just repeating things back with different words, not offering you cosmic understanding. If you don't think you're cut out for cult life, then maybe this path is for you! No living in the woods, but no guarantees your credit card information won't be stolen.

@saltedearths @godsunderfoot @fatebinds @terrcrs @horr1fics

[chroniclegossip]

Things are never are boring in Antioch, home to suspicious people only. You know how Max Morrison was questioned in regards to the Tinder Man Murder (copywrite!)? Seems like there's something else he should be questioned about, like what kind of Satanic deal he made to get one of his youtube videos to 267 views! Seems like two hundred and sixty more than it should have to me… unless there's a clue in the footage… Hey, Mystery Series, where you at? I can't do all the work for you.

Then again, maybe it's not Max that made a deal with the devil, but Kateri Giasson, who was seen fleeing an angry individual that somehow wasn't coming after her with a pitchfork. The band members aren't known for being the most well behaved group, and Kat's nighttime adventures seem like something more people should be paying attention, if you ask me. Our local law firm may have a new client coming their way soon.

But if Kat's bad luck is the price of sudden youtube clicks, then what's the excuse for Nic Vergara? Sounds like his place of work got flooded and only the creature from the black lagoon would enjoy hanging out there for a movie. Maybe his deal for the murder house required some black magic negotiating, but if that man turned to spells for anything, I bet it involved his wife.

If black magic is involved in what's going on in Antioch, you know who we should look at? Dilon Saint, the closest thing to a local witch we have. You know what they say about magic, it comes with a price, and Dilon has bills to pay. Why not charge people for miracles that come back to bite them? All they'd do is coming running back for another miracle and cha-ching. I think the local protest group should pay her a visit instead of standing outside the sex shop for a change, just to see what happens. Besides, some of those old geezers could use a curse on them.

@fatebinds @deusmort1s @noirhistories @bitchcrys

[chroniclegossip]

Welcome to the inaugural addition of Antioch Answers, where you find out what Antioch doesn't want you to know! In a place where bodies drop more often than gas prices, there's no end to the dangers of town and not even the annual festival was safe.

A local source has indicated that the still anonymous body may not have been the first choice target, as lawyer Ira Parekh is sporting an impressive set of bruises around his throat. Just how he escaped sleeping on a morgue table is still unknown.

You know who else isn't sleeping? Gael Cordova, the FBI agent who seems determined to single-handled wrap up every mystery in Antioch. He's been questioning suspects even after they've been let go by the local police, people like satanic singer Max Morrison and serial killer's kid sibling, Jae Walsh. He's putting in the leg work that many citizens think our local LEOs aren't, but it really makes you wonder why? What does a hot shot FBI agent do to get punished with Antioch? Seems sus to me.

Something else that's sus is that no one realized there was a body inside the Tinder Man until afterwards, but Rebecca Vergara has been heard talking about the stench of burning hair. Seems like you would have smelled the meat before the hair, so why notice what no one else did unless she was looking for it? Maybe Mrs. - Or wait, Ms. - Vergara should stay a little further away from the Murder House. They say it causes madness, you know.

@oh-the-hcrrcrs @unchained-by-intuition @fatebinds @iterum @ofvaliancys