chroniclesofmisskitkat

[chroniclesofmisskitkat]

I'm having a bad sore throat since yesterday. I had fever din kaninang morning. I cried like a child sa super sakit ng ulo and katawan ko. 'Di ko alam why ako bigla nag kasakit. I also have no choice but to login and work kasi naunang mag SL kasama ko sa work (2 lang kami plus my supervisor so a total of 3 night shift members lang sa team). I wish mag dagdag na ng member sa team namin kasi napapagod na rin ako to take over the shift alone almost every time. May sakit kasi talaga yung kasama ko sa shift (not her fault) and yung tine-take niyang gamot grabe yung side effect sa body niya.

[chroniclesofmisskitkat]

I'm back reading my convos with people whom I had one-sided feelings with. I noticed how clingy I become when I truly like someone. Laging ako 'yung pinaka desperate sa conversation. Maybe that's why hindi ako nagugustuhan ng mga nagugustuhan ko. Akala ko ako 'yung type ng person na nonchalant, pero gano'n lang pala ako sa mga hindi ako interested romantically.

I never hide my feelings kapag may gusto ako. I show it openly to them. I may not vocally say it, but I'm showy. For example, I try to flood the person I like with my messages kahit hindi sila nagre-reply or dry/cold sila mag-reply. I tend to be goofy and honestly say it to them na kinikilig ako sa simple gestures/words nila.

It's sad because I've never had someone I like feel the same about me. It's not that there's nobody who likes me or tried to pursue me. But why do I always end up liking people who won't like me back? Maybe I don't fit conventional beauty standards, but I've recently come to accept that I'm not unattractive either.

I'm not desperate to be in a romantic relationship right now. I'm just wondering why the people I liked before never liked me back.

[chroniclesofmisskitkat]

Spending my weekend alone.

[chroniclesofmisskitkat]

I suddenly wanted to be active here again. I forgot that I feel safe here. Nobody cares about me, and no one personally knows me here. Instead of opening up to people I've known for years, I guess letting my thoughts be out here is more comfortable. This will be my world.

[chroniclesofmisskitkat]

I'm good at keeping secrets, but doesn't mean it's not hard for me.

[chroniclesofmisskitkat]

Grabe epekto mo sa’kin. Isang chat lang, I’m already having anxiety and panic attacks in my dreams or was it a nightmare? I woke-up with my whole body shaking.

[chroniclesofmisskitkat]

I was watching an episode of "Unexpected Business" when an elderly woman said to Kwang Soo,

“It seems a lot of young people are hurt emotionally,”

and for the first time in my life, I felt validated by an elderly person.

I just realized how true that is, especially in our generation. We are so emotionally damaged, but the older generations dismiss our feelings. They always compare instead of comforting us, despite the fact that they are the ones who caused the trauma and damage.

My parents caused me so much pain that it destroyed me. But there's nothing I can do; neither I nor my parents can fix it. I'm just broken and traumatized. Live your life as a broken piece and just keep going.

I love my parents, especially my mom. I grew up with her, and she is aware of what she did to me, and she is deeply regretful. I'm not angry with either my mom or dad. It's just that I'm not sure how to feel or what to do.

I wish more people would acknowledge the fact that we have different kind of pains. Most of us didn’t want to be here. We are forced to live our life with the pain. We are not weak, we are hurt.

[chroniclesofmisskitkat]

Have you ever cried because you feel like you’re not capable of love anymore?

I just want to feel again.

[chroniclesofmisskitkat]

Hi ate dont be sad. Just think i share good news i lost my virginity last week end (:

Hiii, did you lost it by consent? If yes, congrats I guess? But if not, you can dm me here if you need someone to talk.

[chroniclesofmisskitkat]

Why does healing hurt so much?

[chroniclesofmisskitkat]

Yup, crying at 9a.m because I look ugly.

[chroniclesofmisskitkat]

Mary Lambert

[chroniclesofmisskitkat]

I thought if I cut my hair short I’d look good but they’re right, I look pretty only because I have a long hair :( but I don’t think that I look good with long hair either :(

[chroniclesofmisskitkat]

Back here again after 2 months, I guess? Hahaha I thought I was getting better but here I am again.

[chroniclesofmisskitkat]

Insecurities crippling in, again.

[chroniclesofmisskitkat]

I agree that 'perfect doesn't exist'. maybe i should have worded my question differently. is there anywhere in the world you'd like to visit or see someday?

There’s no specific place I want to visit, I just to be at a place where I can be genuinely happy.

[chroniclesofmisskitkat]

what does your perfect day look like? You can go anywhere, do anything. use your imagination. maybe you just wish to have a sleepy day inside. whatever you decide, make it perfect.

But perfect doesn’t exist.