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chrystalmiru · 3 years ago

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⚠️BASED ON EPISODE 10 || So somehow contains spoilers⚠️

Would you have looked me in the eyes?

[Alternative title: Me, my coping mechanism and I]

Summary: You’re all in Duskwood, and you confront Richy. Pairing: Jake x GN!MC / Richy / Group / Alan Genre: Crack fic, ok? Crack! Self-indulgent! 100% Self-indulgent. Angst / Fluff / Even more crack. Words: 4000 Warning: Again, crack fic!!! Uhm, somehow violence and talking about murder / Bad writing. A/n: Okay, listen, I just wanted to write this one moment, okay? It should be maybe 1000 words, as you can see, it did not work. This doesn’t really make sense, it would go well with my 'cutout' category, but it doesn’t matter. In any case, this doesn’t really make sense, is superficial, has clichés and just came about because I somehow have to cope with the episode. So please accept it or don't read it. xD Sorry for the mistakes and the rushed end. I hope you like it anyway. Bye.

You had your arms tightly wrapped around your own upper body in the hope of being able to give yourself a little comfort and maybe not feel so bad anymore. In addition, it was quite cold at Grimrock, even if it was already at the end of May. But the big waterfall a few meters away caused quite a cooling of the air around you.

Jake, leaning against a tree next to you, looked silently at the ground as his hand kept sliding up and down your back, showing you that he was there for you.

It helped a little, but not enough. The emotional chaos that reigned in your body due to the last few hours was not so easy to just shake off. Not even through a touch of Jake. But you were sure; if he wasn’t here now, you’d be much worse off.

Neither of you had said a word in the last 20 minutes, but it didn’t bother you at all. Jake probably even less. Even if you could see from time to time how he wanted to start to say something, but in the end he did not do it, for which you were grateful.

Because the probability that the words would be more pitiful words was very high, and that’s exactly what you didn’t want to hear. You didn’t want pity that your friend Richy, the mechanic you quickly grew to love, was secretly able to commit such terrible deeds. No matter what motive he had, no matter what he wanted, whether he meant it 'good'. What he did was terrible, and nothing in the world could fix it.

And any kind of condolences or pseudo-nonsense like: "Everything will be fine again", you could really save yourself, such a bullshit. It might get better, eventually, but nothing will be good anymore, at least not with Richy. Even if it breaks your heart to no longer see him as your friend. He may still be secretly true, but you would never allow yourself to forgive him. Even if you told him you believed his apology. You did, you could see it.

They repent in his eyes, the realization of how wrong the way he had chosen was. But some things in this world, some things you can never make up for, sometimes it’s just not possible. And this is one of those things that would never turn in the right direction again. No matter how much effort he would put in, no matter how hard he would try, no matter how much he would regret it. His deeds were those of a monster.

Even though it’s always talked about, "You have to forgive so you can find your own peace." That’s bullshit as well. You don’t have to forgive everything in the world, you have the right to never accept things. Never to forgive something you don’t want to forgive. And sometimes it’s the anger that keeps us alive. And this case, the now ended case of the Man Without a Face, was one of those cases. And the anger at the betrayal and deceit you experienced through Richy, those feelings you would never get rid of. Whether you forgive him or not. He threatened you several times, attacking your, his own friends. He faked his death and sent you through hell; nothing about it was anything that could ever be forgiven.

With no control over it, you let out a deep growl, hateful and uncomprehending. You shake your head and kick a small stone aside before you look into Jake’s face, who looks at you attentively but slightly unsettled.

You want to say something, you want to swear and insult Richy to the deepest. You want to reduce your pressure, express your anger, but all your words get stuck in your throat. You can’t express what you want to get rid of. Probably for the simple reason that there are no words to describe how you feel.

Jake’s eyes scan your face. He seems to be trying to interpret your facial expressions and understand what’s going on inside you, so that he can perhaps give you a little more support.

But he himself did not know what to say. In addition, he was worried that he could say something wrong and thus hurt you, or make you even more angry. Because although it was difficult to interpret your facial expressions, the anger that emanated from you could be felt more than clearly.

And even if not, it was more than understandable that you were angry. After all, you have just gained a terrible experience of treason, in one of the worst ways there was likely to have been in treason. Betrayal, a thing Jake was more than familiar with.

Then finally, you manage to get some words out of you, your voice sounded scoffing, your face twisted with disgust. "Argh, I feel so exposed. So used."

The young hacker opened his mouth to answer you, but then closed it again. The hand he had pressed against the tree behind his back clenched into a firm fist. He felt his fingernails pressing into his skin, his teeth clenching.

To see your expression, to hear your words, the tone of your voice, so full of negativity also made his own blood boil with anger. After all, Richy had not only kidnapped his already damaged sister for several weeks, but also injured the person he fell head over heels in love with. This man, the mechanic who had dared to call himself a friend, had deeply hurt Jake's family and that was one of the things the hacker saw red about. His family now consisted of three heads. His two sisters, one of whom didn’t even know she is his sister, and his love. And Richy had pushed all three of them into a world of pain. And Jake would give his life without hesitation to protect them from anything that could harm them in any small way. And the damage that the Man Without a Face had done was huge.

Of course, these little details that indicated his anger did not remain hidden from you and immediately your expression became softer. "I don’t want you to get angry because of me."

The hacker’s eyes snapped up to look directly into yours deeply: "Don’t say such things, MC. The reason I’m angry is not you, I’m angry that you got hurt, you, Lilly and Hannah. Sharing your anger is the only possible thing in this situation."

"Nevertheless," you sigh: "My mood also affects yours and I do not want us to feel bad. A few hours ago we still dreamed about how beautiful our first meeting will be. Now we’re here, together, in Duskwood, as we planned, but now we are surrounded by the FBI, the Duskwood Police, and Paramedics."

"Well, I knew and hoped that you weren’t interested in living this life with a lot of police for too long. But I have to admit, I didn’t expect you to have enough of the world I live in so quickly. After all, the FBI has made its way here just for me." In the end, he winks, causing you to roll your eyes.

"Actually, this is not funny at all, but sad," you bite depressed on the inside of your cheek.

A slight grin pulls over his lips as he gently pulls you closer to him: "Much less sad since I know you." he whispers.

You expect him to kiss you now, but instead he just leans his forehead against yours.

Even if you enjoy this gesture, you want to kiss him. It would be your first kiss together whose comfort you could really use more than good now. Because the excitement, the realization of your, your both dreams, lets a excitement pump through your veins, where you know that it would sweep your mind completely empty even for a few seconds. And that aspect, seemed heavenly.

You don’t want to lie. A little voice in the back of your head, a little bit of your morality, wasn’t so excited about kissing the young hacker in a place like this. In front of all the people. Which wouldn’t be a problem if some of them hadn’t waved around in front of Jake’s face with a arrest warrant two hours ago. The only way to escape was to present the FBI a false ID, but they could not detect any falsification even after a system query. It was only a matter of time and enough research until his current false name became his true name again.

The fake ID. One of his aces up his sleeve, as he proudly told you. Which was also a reason why he wasn’t as stressed out in the mine as you would have liked. Even if he would have liked to escape this way, too much time had already passed and he had run into the arms of the special force. But he drew the ace, and won, for now.

And also the group that was a few meters away from you was a reason why you try not to jump on Jake right away.

The long-time friends were all standing around Hannah. She is sitting on a rescue stretcher and has been examined as a precaution.

The message you had to deliver to the group, of course, that Richy is the real Man Without a Face, has hit everyone hard.

Since this moment, Jessy has not stopped crying, clings desperately to the also crying Lilly. Who on the one hand was glad to finally have her sister again, and that alive. But on the other hand also lost a really good friend.

And also Dan was hit hard by reality. He hadn’t really shown it, but you could see it flash in his eyes the moment the words "Richy, he’s the man without a face" left your lips.

He had shot him, Richy. Richy the nice mechanic who did everything in his power to keep the family business running. Richy Rich, as he had always called him ironic. He had shot at his own friend. He was even willing to kill him if necessary, but that was when he didn’t know the identity. There it was Michael Hanson, but now there was a face. The face of a long-believed friend.

Cleo and Thomas, however, do not seem to have realized that it is Richy. Or they tried to completely suppress it at that moment, for the two of them it was just about Hannah. Which of course was also understandable.

Thomas had sat down on the stretcher with Hannah and carefully put an arm around her. She had leaned against him and seemed to have fallen asleep for a moment. Which was probably due to the effects of the last weeks and the heavy painkiller that her was injected as a precaution.

On the surface, a nice picture actually presented itself. All friends reunited after a long time, in the arms of each other and with a little bit of hope in the eyes. But only superficially.

Because the truth came at that very moment, in handcuffs and supported by Alan and another policeman, limped out of the main entrance of the mine.

If the policeman whose name you don’t know didn’t shout for a paramedic and a stretcher, you probably wouldn’t have noticed. You’ve been too busy looking at the hacker’s beautiful eyelashes.

But immediately it drew your attention to Richy, the now unmasked man without a face.

You focus your gaze on him, only to see that his gaze is also on you. This one look in the eyes that you had actually felt so beautiful was enough to let your arising and bundled rage, which had disappeared for a few minutes thanks to Jake, hit you again.

Like a huge explosion you feel your body under electricity and before you realized it yourself, you powerfully turned out of the young hacker’s grip and took the first steps in the direction of the dark-blonde mechanic.

Your arms hang down to your sides and your hands are clenched into fists, you gasp as you come closer and closer to him firmly and decisively.

"MC, no!" Jake tries to stop you, who immediately followed you and now reaches for your arm. But you shake it off.

Nothing and no one could stop you, you were extremely angry and you had questions, actually only one burning on your tongue. And you wanted an answer to that question.

"MC please" Jake’s tone sounded imploring as he wraps an arm around your hip, forcing you to stop. You immediately grasp his hand and push him away from you. "This is not a good idea, not now" he tries to make you clear.

"Yes, right now is the time." you hiss.

Alan, Richy and the other policeman had already stopped and Alan had stretched out an arm in front of Richy so that you could not quite approach him.

"MC, you really shouldn’t talk to him now." Alan tries to convince you, but you just don’t care.

About one and a half meter you finally stop in front of them. Just two seconds later, you feel Jake’s presence behind you and again he wraps an arm around you. Probably everyone was worried you could go for Richy any second, and to be honest, it was a very legitimate concern. 'Cause you just couldn’t control your own anger, but could anyone really blame you?

Before you could start, your name sounded brittle from Richy’s mouth.

"No" you cut him off immediately: "Shut up, all I want to hear is an answer to my question."

You breathe in deeply, you feel the trembling of your upper body, "What would you do if I had come earlier, as you had asked me? What would have happened, Richy? If I had agreed to your deal, if I had stood alone in front of you, what would you have done? Did you want to kill me?" the words came out of you so sharply that you scare yourself a little, but don't let it show.

You watch his eyes widen in shock, then he swallows: "MC, I-"

But again you interrupt him: "Did you want to finish your plan? To get the complete victory? Me last while I watch everyone around me die?"

Meanwhile, the paramedic for Richy had stopped with a little distance next to you, seemed unsure whether he should help Richy now or not. But since neither Alan nor the other policeman said anything, he stayed away.

Your voice rose word for word and at the same time continued to growl in contempt. Almost all the conversations around you were stopped and everyone’s attention seemed to be focused on the scene in front of them.

"Tell me, Richy! Did you want to kill me? Would you have looked me in the eyes? Could you? Would you have strangled me? Slay me? Shot me? Was was your plan, as soon as I stood in front of you. Finally get the victory for you? Would you have ended my life?"

Even though you gestured wildly with your arms and there was a chance that you could accidentally hit Jake, he didn’t back off. On the contrary, he came even more near you until you could feel his body against your back. But you didn’t care, you wanted that answer from Richy, you needed that answer from Richy, you wanted to know who he was. Understand him. His plan, his way of thinking.

And even if he kept pulling his head in with every word you fired at him, he never turned his gaze away.

"MC, I- no, no, of course not, I could never-"

"Are you sure? Do you really believe that? That’s what you’re saying now. Now that I’m standing in front of you and you’re being handcuffed by two policemen! But what if I had been down there, deep in the mine in front of you, Richy, don’t you think you would have did it? Do you really think that? Go inside yourself, wouldn’t you have been able to?"

And exactly to this question, you get no answer, at least none with words. But the answer that his face gave you was enough to bring the barrel to a final overflow.

You could literally see the anxiety and uncertainty about it flowing in his eyes. The corners of his mouth, which were only minimally, but still recognizable to you, directed downwards. And then, as his eyes that had been looking all the time into yours, turned to his feet.

And that was the answer, maybe he wouldn’t have hurt you, maybe, but he couldn’t be sure. And you both knew, all of you, all of you present knew that there was no exact and real "no" for that.

And this realization struck you like lightning, and that was not meant as a pictorial representation. Because the moment the realization hit you, it felt like it was flashing in your head, like an electric shock was being generated. For a fraction of a second, it was black in front of your eyes, then a bright spark.

And even if Jake held you, your actions were so fast and unprepared that he couldn’t stop you when you stopped right in front of Richy with a giant step and your flat hand with a resounding bang, and without any pity landed on his cheek, threwing his head aside with such speed that you could hear his neck cracking.

"Fuck" you hear Jake hiss immediately and already lost your feet on the ground when the young hacker pulled you away from Richy with all his strength.

At the same time Alan jumped in front of Richy, but of course it was already too late.

"I hate you" you scream, trying to defend yourself against Jake, but not with all the strength you could have. "You were my friend!" you sob and already the first tears break out of you.

As Jake continues to push you backwards, has both arms wrapped around you and presses you firmly against himself, you watch as Richy is now led down the way to the police cars. But not without shouting again "I’m sorry, MC!"

"He wanted to kill me, my own friend!" you sob with a crumbling voice and claw firmly into Jake’s sweater.

When he finally stops going, one of his hands rests on the back of your head to hold your head against his chest.

"I’m sorry," he murmurs, pulling you even tighter as he notices your legs buckle a little.

Your head is booming as if you were standing in the middle of a dance floor of a techno club. Your palm burns like fire and you don’t want to know how it must feel on Richy’s cheek. He deserved it after all that had happened, but you yourself would prefer never to feel that pain.

You press your eyes tight as you drag yourself against Jake and switch your head from his right chest to his left to listen to his heartbeat quietly and secretly.

But just like your own, his heart beat anything but calm, on the contrary, it seemed to rush and automatically you blame yourself.

You raise your head to look at him, try to blink the tears away, to not only to see him blurred. "I’m so sorry" you beep and feeling the heat rise in your head, you are deeply ashamed.

"Don’t apologize, MC," he whispers, "It’s been a long day, a terrible day, you’re emotionally overloaded, you don’t know what you’re doing. You’re tired, that takes away your objectivity, I should have stopped you immediately, you shouldn’t have talked to him."

On the one hand, he sounds worried, worried about you. But on the other hand, he sounds like you’re a child that he needs to teach rules and explain things.

You would have liked to contradict him, tell him it wasn’t his fault, but the group you can only see from the corner of your eye gets all your attention. To be precise, Jessy.

"Shit" you gasp and want to start running, but Jake holds you." No, please," you whine, pointing to your friends, "Please, I have to go to Jessy." you yap and Jake quickly understands why and lets you go.

The first few meters you stumble before you run to the redhead, who kneels on the forest floor, has her face buried in her hands and cries bitterly.

While you were talking to Richy, you didn’t think about Jessy, who until recently called you both her two best friends. She had already cried so bitterly after talking to Richy on the phone, and now having to watch this "fight" was terrible for her. And you could have thought about that beforehand, if your head had worked properly.

And even if you don’t want to see it that way, you have to admit to yourself that the moment you beat your former friend, you were not better than Richy himself.

While you were insinuating that he might have killed you out of impulsiveness, you were beating him out of impulsiveness.

When you finally arrive Jessy, you immediately fall to her on the ground and wrap your arms around her. Her shoulders tremble from crying and it takes a few moments until she returns the hug.

"I’m sorry," you whisper: "I didn’t want you to see it."

"If he had killed you," she takes a deep breath, even if it only succeeds under heavy trembling. "If he had killed you, I would have lost you both."

"But you didn’t, not me, Jessy, you saved my life, you and the whole group, and Jake. If it weren’t for you, I would have gone into the mine, I would have done it without hesitation. But you have stopped me, and I am very grateful to you now."

You raise your head to look through the still slightly shocked group and smile gratefully to them all.

"I think I should apologize to you again." Thomas’s face shows pure remorse: "It was terrible of me to put you in this situation, but I was too desperate. I just wanted my Hannah back." He gives the brown-haired a loving look, who she gently returns.

So far, you and Jake have kept quite far away from Hannah, so as not to overwhelm her, even if she smiled at you immediately upon your arrival.

In response to Thomas, you shake your head: "You don’t have to apologize, I wanted to do it myself."

Jake, who stands away from you with a little distance, emits a mocking sound, which you simply ignore. You know, in his eyes, it’s not so easy that Thomas almost led you to your death.

And of course Dan also has a word to say, which to your surprise, however, does not belong to the topic.

Instead, he comes closer to you and then pat you on the back: "Well, honey, I have to admit, that was not a bad punch." Amused he nods in the direction where you stood with Richy. "That was daaamn hot."

You know that Dan is partly serious, but he also just wants to provoke Jake. And without looking at him, you already know that the young hacker must have had a pretty cold look at Dan.

The bearded man raises his hands in front of his chest in defense: "Hey, come on, hacker man, you thought exactly the same. Besides, you could have stopped MC without a problem, don’t deny it, I’ve seen it."

Jessy, who still holds you, loses a little giggle. With raised eyebrow you turn to Jake, who answers only with a smile and a shrug: "If you hadn’t done it, I probably would have done it myself."

A/n: Yes, it's true. All I wanted was to punch Richy in the face.😌

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