chuffedracoonjunkboy - Tumblr blog

[chuffedracoonjunkboy]

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[chuffedracoonjunkboy]

[chuffedracoonjunkboy]

reasons to Do The Thing:

idk a shoebox told me to

[chuffedracoonjunkboy]

[chuffedracoonjunkboy]

Reader: Please... Just put a bullet between my eyes now.

Kidnapper: Relax. If your family loves you, they'll pay the ransom

Reader: I'm not worried about you. My wife is a retired assassin and if I'm late to dinner one more time I'll lose my outside privileges for a year.

Kidnapper: You really expect me to believe that? I'm sure your wife's crying her eyes out to police right now.

Reader: Who said I was married to a woman?

[Knock- Knock- Knock]

Femboy Housewife Yan: Helloooo in there~ Has anyone in there seen my darling dearest spouse around? It's casserole night and they promised they wouldn't be late this evening. If it's your fault they're not at the dinner table right now [giggles] Well.... It's probably best if you open the door now than later...

Reader, squirming in their chains: Hide me!

[chuffedracoonjunkboy]

guy tries to toss a cigarette on the ground but the ground parries it and it flies back into his mouth and he solemnly continues to smoke it

[chuffedracoonjunkboy]

[chuffedracoonjunkboy]

If a worker who isn't the owner says ANYTHING similar to "I'm not really supposed to do this but-" and then does something that helps you, under no circumstances inform the business, including through reviews. You tell them that the worker was polite, professional, the very model of customer service and why you like to go there. You do not breathe a word of the rulebreaking.

[chuffedracoonjunkboy]

Fortnite, are you sure about this? Did you think it through?

[chuffedracoonjunkboy]

Huge fan of when my speech patterns rub off on people enjoy when thay happens

[chuffedracoonjunkboy]

WATCH THIS VIDEO

a very, VERY important post. spread everywhere and screen record the video to your phone. or message me and ill happily send you the video. give to every woman and girl you know.

bc as they both said / demonstrated, its not only super easy to do, but super easy to miss.

[chuffedracoonjunkboy]

“I’ll just rest my eyes” is the biggest lie you’re going straight to snorkmimimi land

[chuffedracoonjunkboy]

after my werewolf boyfriend pulls out

[chuffedracoonjunkboy]

For those of you who weren’t able to get 100% of the total solar eclipse today… I gotchu <3

[chuffedracoonjunkboy]

if you learn to love bugs with all your heart the world will feel half as hostile and a thousand times as big