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[chunks-apologist]

The night is cool and balmy.

Your SECURITY GNOMES are raising an alarm.

> define 'balmy'

Balmy means "pleasantly warm."

Your stock of DICTIONARIES has decreased to 31.

Your SECURITY GNOMES report BANDIT ARTILLERY!

> observe night

The night is cool and balmy.

Your SECURITY GNOMES have entered COMBAT DELIRIUM.

> resolve temperature discrepancy

You haven't acquired enough THERMOMETERS to notice the discrepancy.

Your SECURITY GNOMES have activated the MEAT THRESHER.

[chunks-apologist]

Kleptogenesis, as in the salamanders steal genes? Tell me more

Yes! It's absolutely fascinating.

ok, so most species in the genus Ambystoma (mole salamanders) can cross-breed in very specific ways, which can result in entirely new all-female species. This is actually why axolotls are illegal to own in California; there's a lot of concern that released/escaped axolotls could cross-breed with the native tiger salamander, which is already vulnerable due to habitat loss and habitat fragmentation.

Fun note! Captive-bred axolotl (Ambystoma mexicanum) owe their existence to this ability to cross-breed! The fun colors we see in captive bred axolotls are thought to be the result of cross-breeding with other ambystoma species, especially the tiger salamander (Ambystoma tigrinum). This is also why captive-bred pet axolotls don't hold much ecological value. They literally have genes that don't exist in the wild axolotl.

but anyway, back to the lesbian salamander species. There are lots and LOTS of these unisexual ambystoma species--- tbh, I shouldn't use the word 'species'. They're technically considered biotypes now, but 'species' is the word most people recognize more easily so it's the word i'm going to use.

During kleptogenesis, a female salamander just sidles on up to some suitable looking male and accepts his sperm packet. Then she just opens it up and rifles through it, looking for the genes she wants to use and discards the others. She can do this with MULTIPLE males of MULTIPLE species, as long as she's already got some of their DNA in her lineage. Some hybrid ambystoma have the dna of up to five other species! The end result of this form of reproduction is always female.

There's also some unisexual species like the silvery salamander that just... straight up don't use the genetic material at all, but still collect sperm packets. It's believed that the sperm packets stimulate egg development, even though they don't donate any genetic material.

You can loosely compare it to the fictional all-female species asari from Mass Effect.

[chunks-apologist]

me: do you guys like my evil thorned plate armour and bloodred cloak? is the ominous glow of my visor slit too much?

my manserpent minion: it'ssss sssslaying absssolute penisssss, ssssire

my shambling zombie: uuuu 👍

captured gnome i keep in a birdcage: golly gee willikers it's sure some scary!!!

my straight manserpent minion: looks pretty good boss

[chunks-apologist]

i feel like being in a fandom long-term has a very specific repetitive cycle that kind of looks like this

[chunks-apologist]

POV: you're one of my friends and im trying to explain fortuna to you but i suck ass at remembering/explaining the actual lore so i end up looking at you like this

[chunks-apologist]

friendships end. relationships end. black turtleneck is forever

[chunks-apologist]

Kofimission for ‘MaggotsBoy’~ ☕I liked this design a lot and I ended redrawing this one quite a few times just for that~  Social media  + Commissions  + PAPERCUT

Posted using PostyBirb

[chunks-apologist]

The berry pickers creed

I will leave unripened berries untouched

A ripe berry need only be negotiated with, not fought

I will reasses my surroundings after every step, for my new perspective could reveal a berry patch previously hidden to me

The plant gets excited and happy when a barry is picked

The bug is not to be feared or killed, but gently celebrated, for it facilitated in the creation of the beloved berrys

I will not allow myself to be bullied by sharp thicket and I will retrieve even the most protected barry

[chunks-apologist]

chee fong

[chunks-apologist]

Artwork for recent music releases by Scuba

[chunks-apologist]

The children's show villain is a figure who sadly is not seen outside the children's show. There are few stock characters who as succinctly declare, from sheer stage presence, "the world is unloveable and it is painful to live here; that which delights mankind is like ash on my tongue" without being too fucking whiny about it.

[chunks-apologist]

[chunks-apologist]

i love when a villain is like "ahhh what a ROTTEN day" but they mean that it's good and they're just saying it like that because they arbitrarily like when things are bad

[chunks-apologist]

A twisted howl disturbs the night, as the footsteps of something ancient stroll across the ground. You track it, you chase it, you hunt for it over miles and hours, coming so close to getting your hands on the creature (and yet so distant, never leaving your presence but always out of sight), yet in the end you've got nothing to show for it but a ringing in your ears and a blurred picture of something utterly bizarre.

The cause of such encounters is the animal known as the Hide-and-seeks, Hidebehind or "Lost Link", an anomalous predator whose fur seems to always blend and blur into its surroundings, obscuring all bodily details beyond its eyes and a vague silhouette. Those who witness it, in the moment before it darts out of view, see a variety of shapes, as it may appear to be bipedal, quadrupedal, and even occasionally octopedal.

Current consensus, based on indirect and scattered accounts, holds that the Hide-and-seeks is a emoverephage that sustains itself by feeding on attention. In the wild, they disguise themselves as prey animals, to take the attention of predators and lead them on futile hunts. If one interacts with a civilization however, it will often cater its shape to something that attracts more attention from them (And as it adapts, so does its rumour. The legend of a man running into the woods becomes, stories of a mythological beast, or even a long-thought extinct relative of the species that it taunts). In turn, sentient species often become its main sources of food, as the creature finds them far more reliable and consistent than natural predators. Those who haunt a particular region long enough may end up becoming a source of revenue to towns in the area, as tourists come chasing its legend, forming a mutually beneficial relationship.

It should be noted, however, that the creature is an opportunistic predator capable of eating meat. If one learns that it can eat a species and takes a liking to their taste, it will no longer simply lead hunters on a chase before losing them, but actively lure their pursuers to dangerous places, hoping to bring about their death. If such a Hide-and-seeks is suspected to be roaming about, a hunt should be called to kill it as soon as possible, for while their anomalous properties and intelligence make them difficult to find, multiple experienced hunters with modern technology can still track it down in the end, so long as it has not grown too large and capable.

Once dead, the creature will quickly start digesting itself from the inside-out, dissolving until nothing is left but a wet depression where it laid, and a few stray hairs of unclear origin. This inability to obtain even a dead specimen has proven one of the largest obstacles in learning more about this elusive creature, as live individuals have often escaped nets or cages they were seemingly caught by, and the few longterm successful cases weakened and died within the first few days. Whatever it needs, being sought feeds it far better than being studied.

As far as can be determined, the Hide-and-seeks is immortal so long as it recieves a constant supply of attention, with suspected cases on certain planets having folk tales going back hundreds of years. Sometimes, though, interest in them simply dies out, or altenatively, their food source dies out. Its shrill cries and howls and chirps echo from the woods or mountain it called home, trying to receive attention, unable to understand what has happened to the empty or destroyed settlements that once thrummed with life. In such cases, the creature will eventually starve to death.

[chunks-apologist]

Autopsy Chatter

Picture a room. In the middle of that room, there's a man, perhaps a cashier, or a clerk, as typical as they come. Around the edges of the room and by the doorway, there's a few fresh corpses. The scene indicates that these bodies were not killed by natural means. No bullet holes, no signs of a fight, no blood, nothing.

You enter that room. The man in the middle notices your presence with panicked relief, and tells you he has no idea what's going on. Everyone started dropping like flies out of nowhere, he explains, his words tumbling over each other like an overflowing sink as he offers everything freely, even his life story leading up to this point. If you were a detective, this would be your dream scenario: The man that caused everything is begging for you to understand what happened. Reassured by your presence, he starts to calm down, and throws a morbid joke into the air.

And then you giggle. And then you laugh. And then, within two minutes, you die. Another corpse for the room. Another tally to his kills, accidental or not.

When one's an anomaly hunter or works in the containment business, you find out rather quickly that your job is not to be a detective. It is to find the source, disable or contain it, and leave alive. When in the field, every sound could be an infectious cognohazard trying to worm into your brain, and every moment allows the anomaly another opportunity to foil you. A man speaking more than he needs to is no different from him brandishing a knife, and he'll use it, intentionally or not, to kill you and everyone of your squadron. Treat every phrase that you didn't personally ask for as a ticking bomb.

Of course, you can't forget your own words might be dangerous in the case you're infected. At other times, speaking too much might lead to worse outcomes, even if no cognohazard is present. Thus, a special-yet-simple word game was made that anyone can learn, designed to put such liabilities through a filter that gives useful information while keeping it safe and vague.

"Autopsy Chatter" or "AutoC" is structured by three sentences: An analogous event that can be compared to the actual situation, but which is never the exact same per se. The main go-to will often be the death or cause of death of someone, though it's not strictly necessary. Those highly proficient in AutoC are able to use a single word to convey events instead of a sentence.

Then, a time of death is given, which allows people to encode different messages through the passage of time. Whereas seconds, minutes and hours are more straightforward as actual indicators of an anomalous effect's duration or frequency, when someone says "O'clock", it indicates a direction. When someone mentions years or decades, it indicates a quantity, either of people or more generally. It is recommended to give only a single time of death.

Finally, a weather is given. This conveys both a verdict of the overall danger, and the speaker's 'mood' and opinion on what course of action should be taken. One might state that it's cloudy with a chance of rain, to indicate that things are looking dubious with a chance of going bad, or say that it's comfortably sunny and good weather for a hat, to indicate a more positive outlook while still staying watchful.

Such coded messages are extremly easy to understand, to the degree that training courses exist for civilians, but difficult and abstract enough that without prior context, even the smartest of anomalies can mistake them for random sentences. As an example, it is suggested to take the first situation and imagine what the newly-blessed anomaly could've said to prevent putting others in jeopardy:

"Tourist hears a wonderful story and becomes smoke in the air. Takes around two minutes to dissipate. It'll rain."

[chunks-apologist]

jisoupy

[chunks-apologist]

The Shoggoth Snail, also known as the Divided-Tongued Snail (or formally, the Divided Tongued Whispers Who Speaks of Evil Snail) is a semiaquatic gastropod that inhabits the sea and coastal regions, and can be found in particularly high numbers around Tailed settlements, where fishing and other products of civilisation have driven away most of its predators. Larger than many other members of their taxonomic class, Shoggoth Snails feed on dead and decaying matter, including both plants and animal flesh. When threatened, the snail displays a false eye in the back of its head and starts emitting whisper-like gibberish, containing snatches of sound that almost seem coherent as speech. If one listens closely to the snail, attempting to discern its meaning, its sound can produce migraines, hallucinations, temporary psychosis, internal haemorrhage, hydrocephalus or in the most extreme of cases, extreme physical changes and hyperintelligence in the hearer.

In fairy tales and myths of most faiths, the snail is often a nefarious agent who provides bad or malicious advice to the protagonist, never lying directly but bringing about misunderstandings, misplaced confidence, distraction from the protagonist's goal, or similar problems. However, one myth tells that the Shoggoth Snail is one of the most talented students of the Divided, and possesses an eideitic memory of everything that God taught to it, but it is so "incredibly stupid" that it is unable to understand any of what it learned. Thus, it is not affected by its own whispers. In modern times, one can find many rumours of Tailed coming across shoggoth snails that seemingly remember them from encounters years past, acting differently towards the individual depending on how their last meeting went.

Cooked Shoggoth Snails are a delicacy in some settlements, and the emptied shells are often used to decorate Divided temples. Older devotees sometimes attempt to trick those younger, encouraging them to give the snail a listen and glean its secrets. Most agree that this is a joke made in bad taste.