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god i love awful abusive manipulative characters. i love when a character is given no choice but to do what someone else wants (although there is a choice. they could theoretically turn away. they just can’t bring themself to do it.) even better if the awful character is rich and powerful or has some level of control over/possibility to threaten loved ones. ehehe

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Imagine claiming a victory against your hated rival and dragging them to your room - stripping them and beating them and shoving your hand down their throat until they vomit, and as they glare at you with utter disgust you pull them to their feet and wrap your arms around them

They stiffen. How long has it been since they've been hugged - how many years since they've even received a warm touch? You gently pet them on the back. They gasp, and shudder, and finally, involuntarily, begin to sob.

With a dark satisfaction you note that it is more humiliating than the time you made her wet herself in public. You can feel it in her desperate, failing attempts to control herself, the vile curses she spews at you. You answer her with sweet reassurances. It's okay. You're safe now. With each one her body shakes more, but she never attempts to free herself from your embrace. She cannot. You understand. It would be the same for you, in her place.

Later that night, she accepts the collar you put on her willingly.

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I never get the difference between romantic and platonic feelings. which is odd, because romance is like my thing, y'know? but I just don't see it. a crush is a friend that makes your heart beat faster y'know. like considerably faster. a crush is the kind of friend that makes your cousin look at you and go "oh my god you're in love" and you go "huh????" and they say "you've been pacing back and forth all day, keep smiling at your phone, keep saying nicer and nicer things to people, and you've mentioned someone's name like three times now. you are desperately in love I know what that looks like" and you cannot do anything but to say "you're absolutely right. but that's scary."

but I know that's just my experience. I never got a pressure to find love because. I guess people just assumed I didn't care? I was a weird boy who hanged out with older girls who mostly saw me as Some Kid rather than a colleague. I'm just someone's weird brother. no one looks my way on purpose.

and then I realized I wanted someone to. really DESPERATELY wanted it. and. I sought after that

but it still just feels like friends. friends you might kiss or you might sleep on their bed or you might say I love you every day or you might have sex or you might get married or you might do everything together or you might know each other's families or you might watch and play and read everything together or you might have a child or a pet at your home together or you might whatever the fuck you want to because no one ever believed you were all that interested in other people because they saw you as just some weirdo. so why would you go by their rules now? there's no rules in your world. no one dictates anything about you, aside from that tick tock heart of yours that goes double speed when he shows up. and I've seen those pictures of her in your phone, you have a whole folder. just to stare at it and smile. you're no good at hiding these things. but I'm not sure you ever tried to.

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i mentioned saying i love you during sex and that's very good... but what about saying i love you during rape now thats real good

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I love the way in which referring to any woman you revere and admire as "queen" - or a man as "king" in the same kind of context - has become normalised by internet slang. I hope the evolution of language carries this trend to the point where this becomes the standard use of the title, and the association with hereditary monarchies gets lost in history.

I want future generations taking history classes struggle to not burst into laughter when their teacher - who calmly, patiently reminds them that yes, this is unironically what they called their rulers, that is the original historical use and meaning of the term - starts telling them that X happend in Y because the Gigachad of France started a war.

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it really does bug me that we have this weird caveating in some conversations around Dark and Messed Up Writing (fanfic and real fiction alike) where there’s that pussyfooting of “they could be working through trauma/they could be processing things/they could this that or the other” in some way to still cater to the purity politics brigade. 

And it’s like, who cares? Who cares why people write what they write? Who gives a fuck? Maybe they’re working through trauma, absolutely. Maybe they’re not and they just really like the dynamic of these characters. Maybe they think it’s interesting to explore the dark, twisted and fucked up side of what it means to be human. Maybe they thought it was hot. Maybe they just had this thought and it wouldn’t leave them alone, and sure it was twisted, but they had to get it out so they did in a safe normal way which is through writing. Maybe it’s some combination of the above. Maybe it’s something else entirely. Who cares. 

Who fucking cares. 

Christ ya’ll. No one needs to make excuses for why they write what they write. 

Full stop. 

The end. 

No more, no less. 

tag appropriately; if you don’t like don’t read; if someone doesn’t tag appropriately be an adult and be polite about giving them a heads up; if you can’t be an adult about that you shouldn’t be online reading fic. 

god. 

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you‘re fucked up. and you’re tired. you are so, so tired.

so you write

you write them broken, you write them human, you write them spitting blood out of bruised lips, sneering and crying.

you write them desperate, you write them lonely in their bathroom, eyes red. you write them with broken mirrors and you write them angry.

you write them like they could be loved, like they are on the edge of being loved, like they could just be loved if they were only to try harder, to be enough.

you write them hated, and hating themselves, you write them ashamed and begging to God, you write them ears ringing. you write them panicked and aching, and yearning and empty.

you write them hungry, you write them with cracked lips.

you write them and you pretend that it’s not you in the pages.

you write them and pray to God yourself, that you’re not being written too.

you write them.

you’re so tired.

you keep writing them.

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—Chris Mc Geown

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this was always going to happen

“i'm thinking of ending things” (2020, dir. charlie kauffman) // michael kinnucan “the gods show up” // john darnielle // @heavensghost x // aeschylus “the oresteia” // @the2headedcalf // adam silvera “they both die at the end” // @filmnoirsbian x // richard siken “war of the foxes”

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Clarice Lispector, The Hour of the Star

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yes it's cool when unrequited love isn't treated as this huge tragedy and people can still be friends or accept it and move on but i do love the fucked up dynamic you get when someone is so utterly obsessed with someone else that they beg and plead with them just to be allowed to devote themselves to them like a dog even if they get nothing in return for it. when the love is completely one sided but it isn't any less intense for it.

[chunniguro]

yes it's cool when unrequited love isn't treated as this huge tragedy and people can still be friends or accept it and move on but i do love the fucked up dynamic you get when someone is so utterly obsessed with someone else that they beg and plead with them just to be allowed to devote themselves to them like a dog even if they get nothing in return for it. when the love is completely one sided but it isn't any less intense for it.

[chunniguro]

yes it's cool when unrequited love isn't treated as this huge tragedy and people can still be friends or accept it and move on but i do love the fucked up dynamic you get when someone is so utterly obsessed with someone else that they beg and plead with them just to be allowed to devote themselves to them like a dog even if they get nothing in return for it. when the love is completely one sided but it isn't any less intense for it.

[chunniguro]

yes it's cool when unrequited love isn't treated as this huge tragedy and people can still be friends or accept it and move on but i do love the fucked up dynamic you get when someone is so utterly obsessed with someone else that they beg and plead with them just to be allowed to devote themselves to them like a dog even if they get nothing in return for it. when the love is completely one sided but it isn't any less intense for it.

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A lot of posts about tragedies are centered around "tragic flaws" and completely avoidable situations created by the character's own actions.

But to my understanding this wasn't really how Greek tragedies originally worked, and I have even read that this idea may come from a wonky later translation of Aristotle which turns the word "hamartia" from "a mistake made in ignorance" to "a sin".

And when you look at characters like Oedipus, you have to remember how heavily the concept of fate ties into their stories. The tragedy is not in the fact that he "got what he deserved" due to some bad character trait, but that fate itself doomed him to a particular outcome no matter how hard he and everyone around him tried to prevent it. The prophecy was always going to come true no matter what. There was no fighting it.

And in the end, isn't that actually much more tragic?

If a character can do everything right but still fail and suffer because the universe does not actually have a sense of justice and pain does not fall exclusively on those who "deserve" it feels not only more tragic to me but also more resonant.

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WHERE is that poem about that person learning all about their partners hyperfixation before getting dumped the last line is like "love is a stack of books on my nightstand with a bookmark near the end" I need it to feel whole help me please

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The opposite of a haunting is something very lonely.

(by @heavensghost)