chuurotonin
chuurotonin
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chuurotonin · 8 months ago
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chuurotonin · 8 months ago
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chuurotonin · 8 months ago
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chuurotonin · 1 year ago
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11:08pm—life is but a shining mirror, a blinding screen full of vivid technicolor, a dream waiting to be held and caressed, a soft magic touch, a refreshing taste, a loving, lovely experience hoping to be lived.
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chuurotonin · 1 year ago
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chuurotonin · 1 year ago
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8:45pm—i created waves and lakes for us to put our barefeet in so we can talk all night while staring at the tinted midnight blue sky, the bright moonshine and the dead stardust. our heads slowly roll over into each others shoulders as we told the tenth story for the fifth hour, our hands flirting with each other with every finger lusting, faithful, bonded, grateful, youthful, empathic.
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chuurotonin · 1 year ago
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chuurotonin · 1 year ago
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240515
Connect
the sound of your guts
the shine of your smile
the beat of your heart
your skin and air, love to me
your picks and stare, due to me
the warmth in your hug
the soft in your lips
the seed of our love
your eyes and face, close to me
your heart and soul, longing for mine
the thread of your clothes
the blush in your cheeks
the magic of our lives
your hands holding me, your love infinite, limitless, echoing, all mine, all ours
🤩🩷🌅🧶♾️💌🪢🌬️🪞
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chuurotonin · 2 years ago
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25 posts!
PERIODDDDDD
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chuurotonin · 2 years ago
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pulling up one from the archives for the first time and just because the tag #diary is somehow useful because it's one of the tags in my pinned post above this :D this gets lengthy and at some cases, personal so i will be editing some of details on this entry so here it is the first ever #diary post on chuurotonin <3 enjoy reading! i love u!!!
June 23, 2023
i dreamed about [], a boy i went to school with on [] and i want to make out with him. he is cute and what,'s weird about liking him is when we we're once schoolmates, one day, he called me "bakla" which became a derogatory term for me knowing i really liked him back then, it traumatized me because of how i didn't like the sound of the word growing up, it felt violent and unwelcoming. it's way too odd because for months, waiting for graduation to come and sweep us all away into first year high school, that tragic happening made me ignore him for the rest of waiting for the school year to end, a slow hammer pound to the nails punctured in my heart, i acted like he didn't exist. it was awkward as fuck because we had drum and lyre practice together and our line formations are always close to each other. (side note: I hated [] practices and i hated playing []. if there were anything i would take back from the past, it would be 1) That i couldn't eat too much because I was too []. and 2) That i shouldn't have agreed to playing the fuck ass [] in that tired []. I was even surprised we'd win that title on my last school year at that school.
it hurt trying to pretend someone close to your heart doesn't exist not because you want to do that, it's because you are a young boy like him, in the closet, not ready to face the world of queerness, trying to cover up the fact that you like him, by a measure of "too much." i didn't let it consume me, i can't have that, and even if i would, i couldn't admit to him that i liked him :( it's a depressing thought but the past is gone and here is now, who knows i might end up bumping into him someday, fun fact: i've seen him on [] a couple of times when i was a senior year student studying [] and it was mindblowingly surreal seeing him after all the years that has passed. for me, [] is like an otter that needs to be held 24/7, I've never given this much thought or I've never rlly put it into words but I do like him, a lot, and if i was chicken shit to tell the world how i felt back then, i'd have nothing to lose if i was to tell him anyway. He's adorable and i wish we we're still friends. I just wished he didn't call me that word because to be frank, I'd be offended if he'd do it again. but I'll say it to him, i'll ask him first if he remembers me ignoring him and tell him why i did it in the first place. I wonder if he remembers all of that. I remember when he used to wear these blue or brown (?) velcro sandals, i'd stare at them at drum and lyre practice. I hated his sandals, I've always thought flip flops were better than sandals. Infinitely better if it was worn by a boy I liked.
[] never left my mind, but he was in the corner or a speck of thought somewhere here. what shocked me the most dreaming about him is i just "thought" of a different [], the [], cousin of []'s and []'s [], who i think is cute too but my mind just says, shouts and prefers this [] ([].) minutes after of this dream (which i couldn't remember, and i hate the fact that i couldn't...now i'm regretting i didn't write the details of it the moment i woke up.) i thought of looking him up on facebook. apparently, he bakes cookies and cakes and all that pastry and dessert shit. his Matcha cookies looks good, so, i really don't know if i'll add him and i *might* have to order some from him. the last post from his [] business is from 2021 though so i don't see a reason for me to order. but i can see a reason for me to shoot him a friend request, hit him up and confess my feelings to him after months of hanging out or whatever. i guess we'll have to find out the next time I will pull up the Notes app and start typing again like a mad bitch whose supposed to be sleeping now because I'm tired from nothing but I'm doing good mentally far from when I was employed at fucking [] house of fake ass fucking FUCK YOU [] A.K.A []rat-looking-motherfucker [] who verbally and psychologically abused me repeatedly.
anyways, this felt like an essay-diary hybrid. so good luck, good life, good love.
~
i feel likethe next diary post won't be like this by the way ! if you made it this far, thank you and ilu!!
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chuurotonin · 2 years ago
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231116
duwa
a chest crushing pressure, icicles poke
"a best rushing measure," a disciple spoke
pulled the last wisdom tooth to gift the abyss
pushed the unfaithful spine to feed the beast
arms drip like wax built on sand and silver
hands grip to max, guilt to death and never
sealed punches, rambled starrynight
peeled sweet peaches punches tight
subsided sensations brought soft yolks tickled
decided formations came soft youths, be old
the sculptor made ten new shapes with old clay
the somber fade; two new capes, new fine day
your touch and gaze, i look for it anywhere
your skin and eyes, i took with me everywhere
dirty eyelids stacked, swept by strong winds
pretty kneecaps bruised, slept with strong fiends
levitating weight waits to carry me to our sleep
levitating great weights to marry me to my keep
unbecoming my known fate, the abandoned past
a becoming, my known faith; the hand long last
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chuurotonin · 2 years ago
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chuurotonin · 2 years ago
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chuurotonin · 2 years ago
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chuurotonin · 2 years ago
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2:28 am—whips dripping and splashes disappearing, stashes adding and wishes shining
holes minimizing and dirts vanishing, ducks hopping and hunks littling
greetings sending and blessings coming, bashings ignoring and gushings maximizing
poles strengthening and cunts loving, cents multiplying and pokes softening
anguish tying and rashes redding, rushes bouncing and axes setting
loops twisting and entries opening, epoxy hardening and lucks reliving
stretches stretching and marks popping, mops wetting and sentiments receiving
fucking loving and opals illuminating, odes serving and feeling humbling
intertwined straightening and jaws tendering , jewels curving and intercourse zapping
kilos closing and medicine sitting, maps crumpling and keys jingling
nets catching and unity awakening, underworlds saving and northern skies shaping
xerox copying and zigzags crossing, zippers half opening and x-rays looking
queers celebrating and televisions blowing, texts manifesting and quails jumping
valentines' day rocking and years bettering, yogurts melting and vegetables drying
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chuurotonin · 2 years ago
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chuurotonin · 2 years ago
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