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2:20am on a fucking TUESDAY and I鈥檓 at a strangers house, not nearly inebriated enough, not nearly tired enough and y e t. . . . Still fucking here
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today was so lonely, i had to cross my arms around my chest to keep me from splitting into two聽
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I always forget that I have something to scream into here.聽 It鈥檚 strange to see yourself being vacuumed into the empty void inside yourself.聽
Logically, it鈥檚 all not a big deal.聽
But the darks are so dark. There鈥檚 no sound, only echoes. The feelings are overwhelming and my logic just can鈥檛 stand a chance against it. So I erode.聽 Erode and erode and when I get a clear moment I see myself. Eroding.聽
Ces鈥檛 la vie
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That awkward moment where you fall into every fucking stereotype of fighting and fucking you can
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I can fucking numb it all
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I dont feel like working today. I'm too goddamned tired.
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update: I鈥檓 not good at all. I鈥檓 actually the worst. Probably, in part, because of this exact feeling.聽
I just want someone to tell me I鈥檓 good
So that I have the strength to lay next to someone who thinks that I鈥檓 not.
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路
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I just want someone to tell me I'm good So that I have the strength to lay next to someone who thinks that I'm not.
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路
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I am so lucky to have so much love overflowing in me. I need to stop worrying about who can or cant deal with that and just keep focusing on loving as much as I want/need to.
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I鈥檓 hasty and it doesn鈥檛 work out for me but like I don鈥檛 know how not to be hasty because I want things to happen. I want things to be in motion and I fear stagnation with every fibre of my being.聽 I don鈥檛 want apathy and limbo.聽
Please just let things be happening. Anything.聽
Something good?聽
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i just wanna fuck up things and get fucked up聽
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I鈥檓 such an emotional see-saw聽
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