cigarette-and-disorder

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found a term aegosexual and everything makes so much more sense

why is it that sometimes i have the most slutty explicit sex related daydreams (never about myself) but irl, with an actual real human being, i have very little to zero urge to actually get nasty with anyone fjfjjshdd

i rly am both romantically and sexually interested only in people who don't exist huh

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"yeah im not really into romance and relationships."

the paras that i make romantic scenarios with : i beg to differ.

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i fuckin hate to daydream about real people who i know irl.

like, when i see them in person again i'm like "right so gotta just pretend i did not daydream yesterday for 3 hours about us robbing a mf bank together :)" or whatever it would have been dujejwhdjssj

but my brain just wanna go for it like hear me out, this would be SUCH a juicy scene....

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okay

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you ever done something bad for a character (or done anything in general) and daydreamed that scene like several weeks or even months, probably like 500+ times or smth. but then at some point u regret it and want to delete that scene like it never happened? but u can't do that because it's so deep down in your brain that you seriously just can't change it because it also felt so fuckin real??

like, i killed off one character who i actually LOVED, i cried for months because of it if i went back thinking about him (i legit vented to my fictional therapist lmaooo) and then at some points i was like nah lets erase that and change his destiny so he can fuckin live, i miss him too much. but my brain is like nah u killed him, face the consequences, that dude gone for good. and you're literally not able to permanently change that, it'll always go back to that original scene dkfjjdjfks.

... or is it just me???

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"Just be yourself!"

Which one???

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one of the most frustrating things about madd, for me at least, is how i’m so used to being in complete control of everything that goes on in my daydreams, that sometimes i forget i’m not in control of conversations and interactions with people irl and that they can and will act independently and in contradiction of how i want them to act.

real life interactions are unpredictable and therefore feel very unsafe and uncomfortable, and i get irrationally frustrated, upset, and anxious when people say or do something that i wasn’t expecting. 

it’s taken my social anxiety and distrust in others to a whole new level.

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why is it that sometimes i have the most slutty explicit sex related daydreams (never about myself) but irl, with an actual real human being, i have very little to zero urge to actually get nasty with anyone fjfjjshdd

i rly am both romantically and sexually interested only in people who don't exist huh

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ace meme for ace week lol

*based on real events*

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i can't believe i'm having 4 year anniversary with my fictional husband this year and he's still not real

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my common sense: so what are you gonna do when you reach your ugw?

me: i'll just eat normally and be normal :)

my ed:

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look wjat i found in my photos 🙏🙏

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