citrusraindrops

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the only time I’ve seen a male bring up international men’s day was on international women’s day: he was complaining about IWD and saying that the lack of a day for men showed that women were privileged by society. He didn’t care enough about men’s issues to know that there already was an international men’s day; he was only interested in it as an excuse to diminish the campaign for women’s rights. I think about that a lot.

a popular meme page on instagram posted a happy international men's day post and the comments were filled with "waiting for all the angry feminists" "comments from toxic women" "women will want half of this too" "single moms in the comments about to go feral" etc. except not one woman commented anything like that. there were a few "who cares" comments and they were all by males 😭😭😭.

tells you a lot really.

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the fact that there’s thousands of easily accessible sites filled with videos of women being hurt and abused on camera for men to get off to and it’s considered normal is insane to me.

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man hater (2019), pages 14 & 15 // full zine here

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Japan's medical schools have quietly rigged exam scores for more than a decade to keep women out of school.

Up to 20 points out of 80 were deducted for girls, but even then, some girls still got in.

“We'd rather have men who failed thrice than women who aced the first time"

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Out of school so I made some gingerbread butterflies

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THANK GOODNESS

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If you get sexually aroused by hurting your female partner, you're a misogynist. Simple as that.

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If women tried to insert themselves into trans places they would be furious because “cis women don’t belong here” and “you should check your privilege” but when they want to be included in feminist movements and you deny their wishes suddenly you’re a piece of shit. Your whole being is a caricature of womanhood, of course women don’t want to include you.

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ok, here’s the thing; I don’t actually have a problem with sabrina carpenter sexualizing herself or dressing sexy or singing about sex. she’s an adult, she can do what she wants, it’s completely on a parent if they bring their small child to a concert literally advertised as having mature themes. but sometimes, all I can think when I see those videos is: men don’t have to do that. male singers don’t do that. do female singers have to make themselves a sex object to sell albums or tickets? do they?

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this is so fucking awesome.

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That would remove most males from the juror pool.

If it was enforceable, I'd be all for it.

I don't think men who consume porn should be allowed on juries (for trials on sex crimes). If a woman who has been raped is "too biased" for cases involving sexual assault, then a man who gains sexual pleasure from violent, degrading, humiliating, misogynistic content that's been PROVEN to reduce empathy in men towards women who've been raped (and women in general) and leads them to believe victim blaming myths about women and sexual violence (ex. being hurt turns women on, women unconsciously want to be raped and put themselves in situations where they're likely to be hurt, rape is not that traumatizing and easy to get over, etc.) are also too biased.

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and honestly it's pretty funny how I constantly get diminished with "you only care this much about pornography because you were abused" like that's not a very reasonable reason that gave me direct experience and the ability to recognise it happening a lot

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Male abusers often call themselves victims; The spread of the myth of (equally prevalent) female abusers directly harms female victims, because it means their partners' lies are believed by police and other authorities. And the myth of anti-male bias in courts stymies female victims as they try to escape their abusers.

I'm going to recommend once again Why Does he do That? by Lundy Bancroft. In chapter two, Bancroft writes:

Even if abused men didn't want to come forward, they would have been discovered by now. Neighbors don’t turn a deaf ear to abuse the way they might have ten or twenty years ago. Now, when people hear screaming, objects smashing against walls, loud slaps landing on skin, they call the police. Among my physically abusive clients, nearly one-third have been arrested as a result of a call to the police that came from someone other than the abused woman. If there were millions of cowed, trembling men out there, the police would be finding them. Abusive men commonly like to play the role of victim, and most men who claim to be “battered men” are actually the perpetrators of violence, not the victims.

From chapter 12:

A remarkable number of judges grant restraining orders to abusers to use against their victims or grant mutual orders, which validate the abuser’s claim that his partner shares responsibility for causing his scary behavior ... I have also worked with many [probation officers] who buddy up to the abuser with a wink and a nod, who bond with him in the belief that there exists an anti-male bias in the court system and who signal him that he needn’t take the abuser program seriously by saying things such as: “Just show up to your required number of group meetings and we’ll get you right off probation.”

From Chapter 3:

The abuser’s highly entitled perceptual system causes him to mentally reverse aggression and self-defense. When Tanya attempted to defend herself against Emile’s life-threatening attack, he defined her actions as violence toward him. When he then injured her further, he claimed he was defending himself against her abuse. The lens of entitlement the abuser holds over his eye stands everything on its head.

One of my areas of specialization is court-related work involving abusers who are physically violent or who abuse their children. I frequently encounter court personnel who say: “Well, she accuses him of abusing her, but he denies it.” They then drop the matter, as if the man’s denial closes the case. They also tell me: “He says she does the same things to him, so I guess they abuse each other.” This kind of denial and cross-accusation tells us nothing about whether the woman is telling the truth. If the man is abusive, of course he is going to deny it, partly to protect himself and partly because his perceptions are distorted. If he were ready to accept responsibility for his actions in relationships, he wouldn’t be abusive. Breaking through denial and minimization is one of the main tasks facing an abuse counselor. Most of the men in my groups admit to some abusive behavior —although they don’t see it as abusive, of course— but they acknowledge only a small portion of what they have actually done, as I learn when I interview the abused partners.

Abusive men push and push against a woman's boundaries in a relationship, breaking her down, and when she tries to defend herself against abuse or speaks out in any way he uses it as evidence that she is irrational and that she is the abuser. We unfortunately saw this happen to Gabby Petito and Amber Heard. In both cases when the victim was pushed past her limits and showed emotion at being abused, it was used as evidence that they were abusive.

Domestic violence is more common in lesbian relationships than it is in heterosexual relationships.

the point is that in heterosexual relationships men and women are equally likely to initiate DV. When examining female only relationships they are more likely to suffer violence than male only relationships.

Researchers theorise women initiate violence more often because society tends to ignore female violence and punish male violence harshly. They see no downside. This effect is magnified in female only relationships.

This info is not intended to put anyone down.

To add to this, heterosexual DV is still going to be more common than lesbian DV based purely upon the number of heterosexual couples when compared to lesbian couples. This isn’t to put down lesbians, it’s a statistic that I’m not too sure if it’s still liable or not.

So, apparently I need a frequently asked questions page ... or something.

You are wrong anon; these statements are factually incorrect.

Domestic violence is NOT more common in lesbian relationships. (And the larger post for context.)

Men and women do NOT have similar rates of domestic violence. (See, also, this post.)

People support/fail to support male/female victims and condemn/fail to condemn male/female perpetrators at similar rates. (Also see this post and this post.)

There is also no evidence of a criminal sentencing disparity caused by sex.

"This info is not intended to put anyone down." -> Yes, I am sure you came to this blog where I discuss the pandemic of male violence against women to claim that, against all substantial, overwhelming, evidence to the contrary women are actually more violent than men to be ... friendly.

Male violence in heterosexual relationships is higher in both absolute and relative terms (see above).

"it’s a statistic that I’m not too sure if it’s still liable or not" -> I'm guessing you meant either "reliable" or "viable", in either case, it was never reliable, or viable, or true. It's a homophobic, misogynistic myth perpetuated by malice and poor understanding of statistics.