ck4yd3-n

[ck4yd3-n]

HAD ANOTHER DREAM!! ABOUT MY DADS GFKAHFLSJS I MISS THEM

Occasionally, I fall asleep in that place where only me and my dads know (see this post for further details), then in the middle of the night, I woke up to a faint melody of Madeleine by Goodkid, of course I snuck a peek, the sight was heart warming—Chuuya and Dazai, in each other's arms, dancing slowly to the beat while looking at each other with such love and affection in their eyes, I could just cry from watching them.

It melted my heart, it was like witnessing two souls connect once more, it was absolutely magical. Even though they're not my "real" parents, I couldn't help but wonder if they were supposed to be my parents instead, that I was destined to find them. They danced and danced, twirling each other and catching one another with giggles filling up the room. God, love is a beautiful thing.

After that I woke up with tears on my cheeks, moved by their elegance and overwhelming feelings for each other, I stared at my ceiling and thought about how much I missed them, everyone.

[ck4yd3-n]

Rambling post cuz im bored

Shifting and manifesting changed my whole life, literally. I was in a state of depression 2 years ago, going to therapy that doesn't even work and is just draining my parents' money, swallowing anti depressants as if it was my oxygen. I was only in my room, not even touching my phone at the time, just.. I don't know, thinking about what do I even do now?

I was scared of the future. I didn't know it yet, but I was scared. I didn't know where I would be in this life, would I go to college? Would I be a corporate slave? Would I drop out? Those were the thoughts that haunt me every sleepless night, I was always so paranoid of tomorrow that I thought I could cling to yesterday by staying up all night. My parents weren't really helpful either, they were trying to "speed up" my recovery process, and the crazy thing is.. I lied that I've healed. Just so their money can't be drained anymore to that thing you call therapy, it sucked. It traumatized me. I couldn't even speak my thoughts without getting interrupted.

I was in there for 6 months, 6 months of sleepless nights, 6 months of wondering about where I am going to end up, 6 months of confusion about myself. I was so lost at a young age, and no one bothered to help or check in.

But one day, I rediscovered shifting on TikTok, from a silly little TikToker talking about what happened in their DR. They sparked that light in me that I once had from 2021, that girl who wanted nothing more than to learn magic in Hogwarts and explore different possibilities in different realities. They recommended going to Shiftblr, so of course, I migrated here. At first, I was a little shy, just scrolling through the posts and barely interacting with anyone.. then I stumbled upon LOAblr, I've heard of LOA before, but never understood, so I researched here as much as I can about it.

I started to write down what I want to manifest, whether it'd be me being happier and my family not oweing anyone money, I manifested little things, just enough to help. At first, I didn't really think much of it, thinking to myself "would this even work?".. guess what. It worked. Sorta. Manifested high grades, manifested my parents getting a raise, manifested my mental health to be different, it was such a memorable sight.

From then on, I started this blog to keep track of my journey since writing in my notebook is becoming more risky as I wrote day after day. I started this blog to help people, I started this blog so it could be a comfort space and a tinge of my mind. I met so many friends, so many mutuals, so many communities with the exact same interests as me! For the first time in 2 years, I felt loved, I felt like everyone was there for me, and I was there for them. I've already made so many friends and followers who would enjoy all my silly storytimes about my DRs and life, one even wanted to groupshift! To experience the same reality! It was very sweet and exciting.

So yes, I'm forever grateful shifting found me, or, I found shifting. I found LOA too, I'm so glad that I did not only apply these topics to myself, but also as a way for connecting with others, finding that same determination to befriend everyone who's willing to. Thank you for listening

[ck4yd3-n]

You don't have a s/o, but there is any character u would like? even just platonically??

Good question! I like all the characters, but if there's some I have to pick, it'd be Naomi and Kyouka! Since I'm 15 is my BSD DR, I tend to hangout with most people my age ofc, Naomi is actually a pretty great bsf if you get to know her :3

Also with Kyouka! We bond over cute stuff and trinkets, she considers me a second to Atsushi and I think that's adorable

If OUTSIDE the DR, it'd be Akutagawa, he's my favorite character lolz

[ck4yd3-n]

you will shift ( hypnotizes you )

[ck4yd3-n]

Is it necessary to have an s/o in all of your drs?

Nope! Not at all! I don't even have an s/o in any of my drs, you don't need to do this if you don't want to, even if everyone's doing it🫶

[ck4yd3-n]

Why the HELL does my head keep hurting when I'm tryna relax my body. Like, brain shut the fuck up I'm trying to shift bro stop screaming

[ck4yd3-n]

Whenever I think about my dream appearance I get all giddy and happy, kicking my feet and all of that stuff cuz wdym that's ME??? HEHAHEHHAHEEHEHEHEH

[ck4yd3-n]

OH SHES BACK

REJOICE

[ck4yd3-n]

since the old version of this post was flagged for ‘adult content’…

reblog this post if your account is a trans safe space or owned by a trans person!

along with that, reblog if your account is a non-binary spectrum safe space or owned by someone on the nb spectrum!

[ck4yd3-n]

Bbg your blog is so chef's kiss can I rizz you ip with bsd light novels

When's our first date

[ck4yd3-n]

My DR self is so fucking cool

[ck4yd3-n]

Just wanted to come follow BECAUSE of fun little stories- that anon can go fuck off lmfao

Tips are great, but nobody should be obligated to write them- and honestly, we need more “silly” stories in the shifting community anyway, I think shifting has lost a lot of its joy in some ways 🫠

- @thunderstorms-overhead

AAAA THANK YOU ANONNIE/THUNDER🫶🫶🫶🫶 you're welcome to my blog with open arms - that anon from last post will not stop me from posting silly little stories XD

[ck4yd3-n]

@11-asher-11 @faerielatteeee @lexi-shifting1111 @yourfavlittleangel @kia-shifts @avendjarin @saymio

Love u guyss🫶🫶

favirote moots?

(People you tag have to reblog and say their favorite moots)

Okay wait

@ibrokeurheartbcuzubrokemine @foliverfalls @allyeilishh @addisonraesbaby @emiliesblohsh @bilsslut @noodleswashere @bilsbabyy @bitchesbrokenpromises @billsdollie

[ck4yd3-n]

hi lovies…………………..

i think this might be it for now, not with shifting, and not with writing, and not with magic or manifestation or whatever term we're burning through this week. just with this version of me and with this version of the space and with this little corner of the internet where i've been both held and hunted.

i’m deactivating this blog sometime tomorrow.

i always thought i'd stay, or at least disappear for a bit and then come back in a blaze of historical revisionism like, hi guys, i had a child in a past life. her name was julie. anyway here's how the plumbing worked. but i truly don't think if i can do that now. or not yet, or not like this.

and maybe that's a betrayal or a plot twist or a necessary limb amputation before the rot hits the bone marrow, maybe all three.

truth is, i don't feel safe. in the actual, literal, legal-definition, report-it-to-the-site way. someone is stalking me and i've been harassed and impersonated and threatened and envied. picked apart like roadkill on a highway no one even wants to drive on anymore.

this place used to feel like my room. not my stage, not my arena. my room, meaning messy, safe, maybe a bit stupid, maybe a bit brilliant. i used to write posts with hope and a very real belief that i was helping people.

and you can say that's the price of being visible, of being correct, or of being incorrect, of being good at what you do. and i guess that's true, but it's also such a boring lie.

i'm like 2 weeks into being 17 in this reality, and i'm already so, so, so, so tired, and i'm crying writing this, and i feel sick that i even have to explain why.

and no, i'm not a perfect person, obviously, i've been defensive and i've been stubborn and i've made people mad and i've posted things i regret and i've left up things too long and i've trusted the wrong people and i've said too much and i've said too little. but never, not once, did i want to hurt anyone, never, not once, did i want to build an empire just to be burnt at the stake for it.

i doubt that i ever deserved to be called ridiculous when i was hurting over being mocked or reading someone saying they scripted that i get cancelled in their dr. and now i know how joan of arc felt💔💔💔💔💔

and still, and still, and still, and still, i wouldn't undo it.

this account, this little blog, this weird, overactive, overcaffeinated brain i cracked open for you all like an egg with a bibliography. it truly changed my life. you changed my life.

every ask, every affirmation, every time someone said "you made me feel like i could shift." every time someone messaged me at 3am to say "i just did it. i'm there. i'm home."

you were the ones who kept me here and you were the reason i stayed longer than i should've.

and you will be the reason i come back, maybe in a month, maybe whenever. maybe when i've built a family in god knows what ancient civilisation.

until then, please, don't give up. and if you do give up, don't punish yourself for it, it's not a sign of failure, simply a pause.

shifting is still guaranteed, always, it is a metaphysical inevitability, it is yours. it belongs to you because you decided it would. you don't need to "deserve" it and you don't need to be good and you don't need to earn it like it's a nobel peace prize for mental stability, it is yours.

that's the whole point of shifting. it's an extension of you.

so script the stupid things, script the cat that meows in french, script the dad who didn't leave, script the version of yourself who remembers every birthday and never flinches when someone says i love you. script safety and script softness and script freedom.

you don't have to perform belief, you just have to live like you're already there.

this is me saying thank you. thank you for reading and for listening and for watching me try and for making me feel like i mattered and like i was helping. like maybe something i said meant something to someone who needed it.

i really hope it did, and i really hope you don't forget me.

be safe. be free, be gone. i love you i love you i love you.

[ck4yd3-n]

What do you mean ww3 can potentially happen

Yeah screw this reality I'm shifting out, get in my car shifters we leaving this reality to shambles🔥🔥

[ck4yd3-n]

Oh my god sybau if you're just going to talk about what happens to you in your shifting journey, it's not even helping

Like yes you're getting closer to ur dr, and dr ideas yada yada, but when are you ACTUALLY gonna help? Like tips, realizations, like hrrtshape and some of your mutuals

Who actually cares abt your silly little drs and gives a shit abt whether you had a dream about it or not

...

What? Okay, I don't appreciate getting an ask to shut up abt that certain topic when it's literally the purpose why I first made this blog? All the random thoughts, all about what happened to me regarding shifting, LIKE I SAID IT'S LITERALLY STATED IN MY INTRODUCTION.

Do you go through all the small blogs creators just to ask this? Like "Oh, you're only reposting memes about shifting, you're useless to the community!!" Or something like that?? This ask is just plain rude..

"Who actually cares about your silly little drs" MY MUTUALS?? Those dr posts are literally what made me and my moots, moots.. I connected with other people with my posts, and I'm happy I actually became more social than I ever was, even if it was online.

Like I said, I DON'T NEED TO POST TIPS, TUTORIALS, OR STUFF LIKE THAT. I DON'T WANT TO. PERIOD. You have all these blogs telling you all they know about shifting, isn't that enough?? I don't need to join them, gosh. You have hrrtshape and others, I love hrrtshape but being compared to her is tiring, okay? Especially since I'm younger than her, just because you don't find my posts "helpful" doesn't mean you need to compare me to others. YOU ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING, THEY TOLD YOU, SO WHY SHOULD I REPEAT THOSE WORDS WHEN THERE'S ALREADY SO MANY BLOGGERS DOING THAT??

I DON'T NEED TO WRITE TIPS TO HELP YOU. I DON'T NEED TO TELL YOU WHAT YOU ALREADY KNOW. I made this blog so I can FREELY express myself on shifting, this blog is for fun. That's my decision, and I'm not going to change it just because you said so.

I respectfully ask you and others who are going to ask me about this to block me and never interact with me again.

[ck4yd3-n]

I heard a lullaby in my dream..? It was a similar tune to "Itsumo Nando Demo" which plays in the ending credits of Spirited Away, but someone was.. humming it. Like a mother lulling her child to sleep. It was so soothing and so vivid, I couldn't see any familiar faces but the voice was familiar, it didn't sound like a woman

Then I heard the same tune again, but instead it was played on the piano. The sound is both distant and yet so close to reach, it sounded like it was echoing through the hallways

Does this link to any of my DRs? I don't know, I never scripted a lullaby in one of them before, but the voice was so familiar I'm assuming it came from my BSD DR since that's the only DR I ever specified having a family figure in it

Everything is confusing.. but at the same time I feel more distant to this reality and closer to my DRs, am I going home?