clairdeloon-abie

[clairdeloon-abie]

Would you be willing to give some context for the suicide attempt tag on To Trust? It can be a trigger for me, so I'm trying to determine whether I can read your story. Helpful information would include what chapter or chapters it and any aftermath occurs in, what other people's reactions to it are, whether some form of suicide watch is implemented, and if so, how long it lasts. Thank you!

Sure, happy to. Harry attempts suicide at the end of chapter 11, although the buildup towards it begins in chapter 10. Chapter 12 is fully focused on the aftermath, with discussions continuing into chapters 13-14, where it tapers off into occasional references later on. Snape is the only person aware of it, and he first ensures Harry's physical safety, and then redirects his focus on Harry's emotional state. He closely monitors Harry's behavior until he becomes confident that Harry is stable enough to be given more independence. The is a resurfacing of suicidal ideation/thoughts of self harm in chapters 42-43, though it is much less intense and drawn out than the original attempt, and there is no actual physical harm.

I can't promise that I didn't forget to mention a chapter or two that contain additional references, but I have covered the specific events. I hope that helps.

[clairdeloon-abie]

One of the most touching scene of your fanfic to trust:

Harry and Jade reunited 🥺😭

Amazing! Thank you so much for making my day again!

[clairdeloon-abie]

You know I found that too bad Lockhart didn't appear in your fanfic to trust...no that I love this arrogant idiot but I wished to see Snape confronting him just for nearing harry XD

I still remember when Lockhart made Harry's bones disappear ....if it was in your story I think he is SOOOO dead meat 🤣🤣

I would have loved to find a way to include Lockhart! Umbridge too; that would have been fun.

[clairdeloon-abie]

Hello it's me again hope everything is okay on your side

I made some new sketchs of your story To trust

for you 🤗

(next time I'll try to draw some other characters of the story)

TW: blood ( based on chapter 11-12)

I hope you'll like it

Tell me if you want particular scene of your story 👀👀👀💕💕💕

Amazing once again! I'm so excited; these are some of my favorite scenes. If you're looking for more ideas, I'd love to see some illustrations of the visit to Remus' cottage in chapter 48, or anything from chapter 58. I've always envisioned those scenes in a very specific way, and I'm curious to see your take on it. Of course, if you have something else in mind, I'd be just as thrilled to see it. Thank you so, so much, you're making my day!

[clairdeloon-abie]

Heya 💞😁

Like I promised to you, there some sketch of your fanfic to trust

Based on random chapter I thinked hope you'll recognize them

I did my best for draw Jade 💞I love this girl

Hope you'll like it 😊

Tell me if you want a illustration of a particular chapter

This is so amazing I could cry. You're a wonderful artist and I love the style - you've captured the characters and tone of the scene so perfectly. That manic expression on Jade's face, complete with the missing tooth... perfection. This is the first time I've received art for my fic and I'm just speechless. I'd be thrilled to see more illustrations of any chapters that you feel inspired by.

[clairdeloon-abie]

Hello , I’m a big Severitus fan and I found your fanfic

And now I’ll tell you : I HAVE A NEW FANFIC TO ADD TO MY FAVORITE SEVERITUS FANFICTION LIST ⭐️⭐️🤩🤩😭😭

It was exactly the kind of fanfic I was looking for I can’t believe I almost miss it but I’m glad I found it !

And it’s the kind of fanfic I was looking for illustrate some chapters scenes , if you are agree of course ✍️😃

I’ll tell you again I love your fanfic To Trust 😍

I'm so glad you enjoyed my fic! I would absolutely love to see some illustrations, so feel free! As long as you send me the link when they're done :)

[clairdeloon-abie]

Hi hello so- I have finished To Trust and I love it and I love Snape and as someone with adhd I love Anthony and I just hsbshshhsjsnd-

I just have to ask..

I’m learning how to bind so.. Can I bind it? Like make it into a hardcover book?

If not, that’s ok. You are the author, you have the final say in things.

But please please please please?! I wanna send it to you so bad.

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed my fic. Yes, you're welcome to bind it, that would be so cool!

[clairdeloon-abie]

Wait. Am I getting mixed signals..? I’ve read to trust since forever I think. And then with a mental slump I think I’ve re-read it millions of times (and you will never understand how much it has meant to me)

Is it finally completed? If so, thank you and congratulations!!

Seriously, it’s a piece of art and it has meant so INCREDIBLY much to me. Still does.

You might have come across my original version years ago. When I rewrote it, it ended up tripling in word count. Thank you so much for reaching out! I'm so glad to hear how much you enjoyed my fic.

[clairdeloon-abie]

Hi Abie, I just want to say how incredibly meaningful "To Trust" was, thank you. I was crying throughout and felt so incredibly understood. I might posit even, healing. You capture the noble ideal of our part in protecting, helping, and raising others. This question is likely deeply personal, so do with it as you will, but I'm curious as to the nature of how this fic came to be, and if there is a degree of catharsis you've experienced in writing it?

I'm so glad you enjoyed my fic! It's incredibly nice to get this sort of feedback nearly a year after completing it. As for how the story came about, the long and short of it is that I wrote the story I most wanted to read. I developed a fascination with the Severitus genre as a teen and that interest has never left me. I just love the potential of the dynamic between Harry and Snape, and, when written well, I find it riveting to watch Severus progress from his irrational hatred of James Potter's son, and hatred of himself, to digging himself out of the miserable hole he's been living in when he finally sees Harry as an individual and has someone else to care about. And I appreciate Severus' version of caring; the fierceness of it, in favor of the more nurturing, overt sort of care more commonly seen. I guess I could say I find it cathartic because it's easier for me to absorb and relate to than, say, the Molly Weasley style of caring. It's also very gratifying to see Harry's abusive childhood get addressed and consider the difference it would have made had he had an adult in his corner from the beginning.

Some of Harry and Snape's experiences were cathartic to write about because they were pulled directly from my own life, and I particularly enjoyed writing from Severus' point of view because I'm now much closer to his age than Harry's, and that's given me a perspective I didn't have when reading the series as a child. Other aspects of the story were based on secondhand knowledge or research, and I've taken a lot of inspiration from the many Severitus fics I've read over the years (see some of my favorites here).

Thanks so much for reaching out!

[clairdeloon-abie]

Hello! I finished your fic to trust a couple days ago AND OH MY GOOOOODDDDDD!!!!!! IT WAS FANFUCKINGTASTIC!!!!!!! Im a long time severitus reader and i cannot BELIEVE it took me this long to find it. It's a damn masterpiece! Thank you so so so much for writing it. It's an absolute blessing! You deserve all the love for creating such a profound piece of work

Thank you! That’s so nice to hear. Feedback like this is what kept me going until the end, and it makes my day to get comments like this even after the fic’s completion.

[clairdeloon-abie]

I'm someone's who's come back into HP after a while, with a very different set of eyes, but your fic has stayed an unwavering love of ours, and a staple in my enjoyment of anything HP related.

Thank you for letting us experience the joys of reading a story with our favourite characters all over again. You're an author I can actually get behind.

Thank you so much! As an avid fanfic reader with many fics I come back to over and over again, it’s incredible to hear that my fic has become a staple for you.

[clairdeloon-abie]

Eyo! :D i just finished reading your Fic “To Trust” AND I LOVED IT SO MUCH. and i wanted to ask. Do you ever plan on writing more HP Severitus fanfics? 👀

I cant stop thinking about the Fic “To trust”. I JUST LOVED IT SO MUCH ARGHH ❤️❤️❤️❤️🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

I'm so happy to hear that you've enjoyed To Trust, and that you love it as much as I do! I'm always thrilled to hear from happy readers.

I'm not working on any new fics right now, but it's likely I'll be inspired at some point to write something new. I've been into the Severitus trope for years, so I doubt that interest will ever fade. Tbh, I got pretty drained writing the last handful of chapters of To Trust, so I decided to take a break for a while. The fic ended up twice as long as planned, and I never expected to get even half the audience that I got. As amazing as it was, it was pretty overwhelming, so I've needed time to recharge.

However, if you're interested in more of my Severitus work, there is a short fic I wrote years ago on Potions & Snitches that I never got around to posting on AO3. It's not a 200k monstrosity like To Trust, but it's a substantial one-shot. Maybe I should consider posting it on AO3... If you're interested, I'll send you the link.

[clairdeloon-abie]

Reading to trust right now..it's absolutely stunning..the way the characters are written, their reactions to things, the characters that haven't been explored in canon...and the story itself...it's so so so good

Thank you so much! It's so great to hear from happy readers <3

[clairdeloon-abie]

I finished reading To Trust. It is a wonderful story. Thank you for writing it.

Thank you for reading! I'm so glad you enjoyed.

[clairdeloon-abie]

Hey! Could you please recommend se quality hp fan fiction that has a special place in your heart or inspire you? I've recently found a post whith your Severitus recs and they were great!

Thank you💘

Hi there! I have to say, the fics that first come to mind as inspirational to me are already on the Severitus rec list, so I guess I can respond to this with some non-Severitus fics that stand out to me.

In no particular order:

A Lonely Path by la baguette: In which Harry runs away from the Dursleys before Hogwarts and is found at age fourteen. Remus is Harry's primary parental figure in this one. It's just so well-written, and I was following it for years until it was completed.

The Calista Snape series by Arinus: Now, I'm not normally the biggest fan of OC-centric fics, but this one is an exception. I don't really know how to describe it, but Snape has a daughter whom he discovers when she's around seven, and the series follows her through her Hogwarts years and beyond. The author is extremely skilled at depicting the impact of trauma on a child's development, and the relationship between Calista and Snape is just so real and beautiful.

Six Pomegranate Seeds by Seselt: Hermione goes back in time to change the outcome of the war. I was initially skeptical as it's not my usual genre, but I was hooked almost immediately. It gave me a whole new appreciation for Hermione's character and who she could have become in different circumstances.

Hermione Granger's Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by waspabi: This is an absolute gem. It takes place in a universe where Harry never attended Hogwarts and is found at the height of the war as a teen just out of school trying to make his way in the world. It's funny and clever and sad and just... everything in one package. The only thing I didn't like was that it ended. I wanted more, dammit!

The Changeling by Annerb: Ginny Weasley is sorted into Slytherin, and the fic depicts the events of canon from her perspective, as well as the ripple effect her sorting has on those events. It's amazing. It's wonderful. Just read it.

Hope you enjoy!

[clairdeloon-abie]

Hi!

I’ve just finished reading To Trust (after much debate of if I could even let the fic go after I’ve finished, the answer, no matter what it was ended up with me finishing the read). And as it is I have to send it of with more thank yous than I could possibly understand. For your words have helped me through many a hard time. And I remember clear as day when I had a rough spot a couple months back and I recalled words of the fic. Albeit now dismantled to fit myself. “You will fight more than is fair for someone your age. You will fight for your life. You will fight until you want to” Those are words I cannot pass without letting on how much they mean to me. How much the tale of a sad boy and his father figure mean to me. All because of emotional investment I suppose. But none the less because of the impact it has had on me.

I want to say thank you. Not only for producing the thing that might as well could have saved my life. But for going through with it. You wouldn’t be able to believe the countless hours I’ve sat awake to read the recent part. Reread old parts. Or simply just staring at a sentance that I hold dear to heart.

Thank you and thank you and thank you.

All my love, from this day onward and blah blah blah (I’m sorry for the headache this read might have caused. I’m not good at being short with my words)

As I said. All my love,

Spencer (your hopefully favorite queer mentally ill stranger on the internet)

Wow, thank you. It's one thing to hear that people enjoyed my story, but to know that it has helped you beyond providing entertainment means so much to me.

The line you referred to: "You will fight harder than is fair for anyone to ask of you. You will fight until you want to" was a standout line for me as well, and it came from a very personal place. I think it's something everyone can relate to in their own way, because we all have moments when we just want to give up on whatever it is we're fighting for. It often feels unfair that we have to fight for things that others take for granted, and it's easy to forget why we're bothering, or maybe we wonder whether we're fighting for the wrong thing. But hopefully we reach a point where we truly want to fight. When we realize it's worth it and our efforts are actually going somewhere.

I'm so incredibly glad that the words I've written have helped you through hard times. The story may be finished, but it's not going anywhere.

[clairdeloon-abie]

Now that To Trust has been completed, what are you working on next after you take a break?

Hey there! As of now, I'm not planning anything in particular. The last chunk of this fic was pretty draining to write, and I'm all out of juice. The ideas flow best when I'm not forcing it; they usually come to me at the most random of times, so hopefully I'll start on something new sooner rather than later.