clandestine-poet

[clandestine-poet]

Hua Cheng is so Edmund Dantes aka the Count of Monte Cristo Coded

Gets framed for a crime he did not commit/sent far away through lies? Check.

Has a love of their life who they're ultimately separated from and come back years later to see them undeniably changed? Check.

Escaping jail/a giant volcano with a new name, new identity and lot more money? Check.

Being fueled by both revenge and love? Check.

Xie Lian would be a pretty epic Mercedes, though. Like, if you change the ending of the novel.

[clandestine-poet]

Hong Hong-er! From my Hualian animatic! Happy Birthday Hua Cheng!

[clandestine-poet]

non-zero chance xie lian ascended on honghong-er's birthday, i'm just sayin

[clandestine-poet]

quick question. but what is it with the trend to turn canon gay relationships into a m/f ship in fanfiction. like that lowkey feels homophobic?

[clandestine-poet]

Alright, a little less coherent now, but oh god I think I dreamed about this while in surgery. That, or some God blessed (or potentially cursed) me with more thoughts.

I have a bit more of a full role swap list. I'll probably write a few one shots first because TGCF is a brick (/aff). Also, cis-swapping for Hualian only.

Below the cut is spoliers!! In fact, I should just tag this whole thing as spoilers. It's goofy. I am bad at not spoiling. But I hope you enjoy!!!

The Decided List

Xie Lian <--> Hua Cheng

Xie Lian: Silver Sword Seeking Blood

Hua Cheng: Blood Storming Martial Goddess/Her Highness Who Pleased the Gods

Shi Qingxuan <--> Pei Xiu

Shi Qingxuan: Little General Shi

Pei Xiu: Fire Master Xiu/The Young Lord Who Spilt the Oil

Shi Wudu <--> Pei Ming

Shi Wudu: General Wu Guang of the East/The General Who Burned His Ships

Pei Ming: Earth Master Ming

He Xuan <--> Ban Yue

He Xuan: He Sheng ("Congradulate" "Scholar") Preceptor

Ban Yue: Black Mountain Devouring Souls/ """"Gui Yi""" (姽仪) The Wind Master

Feng Xin <--> Quan Yizhen

Feng Xin: General [unsure], Martial God of the East

Quan Yizhen: General [unsure], Martial God of South-East

Mu Qing <--> Yin Yu

Mu Qing: The Rose-Thorned Officer, former Martial God of East and now Banished

Yin Yu: General [unsure], Martial God of South-West

Yushi Huang <--> Ling Wen

Yushi Huang: Top Civil Goddess Yushi Huang Zhen Jun (Mostly Diplomacy/Information Based)

Ling Wen: Water Master Wen/The Princess Who Carved the Sea

The Undecided List

Lang Qianqiu <--> Qi Rong ????????????????????

Xiao Ying <--> Lang Ying ?????

Xuan Ji <--> Bai Jing (The Brocade Immortal)??????????????????????

The I Don't Even Know List/Might Not Swap???

Jian Lan?????????? / An Le??????????????? (literally makes no sense)

Jun Wu???????? / might not swap him but instead change his motives to fit fafa more???

Mei Nianqing?????? / MAYBE someone from the gambler's den? make him a gambling ghost????

GUZI????? HELP???? CHILDREN???

So Quickly, here's my elemental master list. I did add the fire master because I like it.

Fire Master: Pei Xiu Thunder Master: (OC cause there is no one) Lin Zhenshi Wind Master: "Gui Yi" aka Ban Yue Water Master: Ling Wen Earth Master: Pei Ming Rain Master: ...uh oh.

a full rewrite.

a full role reversal TGCF where Hua Cheng is the noble dianxia and Xie Lian is the ghost king but:

• make it a TRUE role reversal. What would Hua Cheng (Hong Hong-er) do in Dianxia Xie Lian's place? What would Xie Lian do in little Hong Hong-er's?

• role swap EVERYONE. BUT don't do the obvious. because i have seen the obvious, and i am quite annoying in finding a new way to do this. for example, instead of switching shi qingxuan and he xuan, switch shi wudu, shi qingxuan and he xuan with pei ming, pei siu and ban yue. why? cause it's interesting. and i like it.

• make it hualesbians because i am a useless lesbian and also just like lesbians. but don't just gender swap, make that fact effect the story, since sexism is canon in tgcf. think ling wen.

• also ngl, im in the works of this. i just don't have a beta reader and i kind of feel bad but tbh I just like writing

• don't make it blow for blow, but def follow some stuff. because like, this whole series carved out my heart. i just now want to throw a bunch of "what if's" at it because it's funny and i think i need to stop re-writing classical literature as lesbian (so far, my list is: the great gatsby, lord of the flies, the count of monte cristo, of mice and men, a christmas carol and a few others)

• come up with all their designs yourself because you're petty and want to be historically accurate and boy has anyone ever mentioned you have a hyperfixation on historical textiles and weaponry because oh boy i'm so sorry in advance

[clandestine-poet]

i literally got my wisdom teeth out this morning and have taken so much ibuprofen. but i hate doing it right now because it hurts so badly.

but for them?

i will do it for them.

thank you, op. this is now the images that pop on my phone at my alarm to take more ibuprofen

My Magnum Opus!

[clandestine-poet]

guys i died for a few weeks because i had to make 73 costumes for a stupid school musical that i literally hated and in that time, spent it fuming in my misery like a steam engine.

yet instead of letting the fires of hell consume me to the brink of destruction, i twisted the will of the gods who henceforth shall remember my name and took that hellfire into my own engine, and instead made an entire au

so the previous post was a spoiler. i am so ready.

[clandestine-poet]

a full rewrite.

a full role reversal TGCF where Hua Cheng is the noble dianxia and Xie Lian is the ghost king but:

• make it a TRUE role reversal. What would Hua Cheng (Hong Hong-er) do in Dianxia Xie Lian's place? What would Xie Lian do in little Hong Hong-er's?

• role swap EVERYONE. BUT don't do the obvious. because i have seen the obvious, and i am quite annoying in finding a new way to do this. for example, instead of switching shi qingxuan and he xuan, switch shi wudu, shi qingxuan and he xuan with pei ming, pei siu and ban yue. why? cause it's interesting. and i like it.

• make it hualesbians because i am a useless lesbian and also just like lesbians. but don't just gender swap, make that fact effect the story, since sexism is canon in tgcf. think ling wen.

• also ngl, im in the works of this. i just don't have a beta reader and i kind of feel bad but tbh I just like writing

• don't make it blow for blow, but def follow some stuff. because like, this whole series carved out my heart. i just now want to throw a bunch of "what if's" at it because it's funny and i think i need to stop re-writing classical literature as lesbian (so far, my list is: the great gatsby, lord of the flies, the count of monte cristo, of mice and men, a christmas carol and a few others)

• come up with all their designs yourself because you're petty and want to be historically accurate and boy has anyone ever mentioned you have a hyperfixation on historical textiles and weaponry because oh boy i'm so sorry in advance

[clandestine-poet]

you really predicted the future. I'm both impressed, devasted by the reminder and absolutely exploding from the reminder

okay not to sound completely insane because i am only 89 chapters in to tgcf but wouldn’t it be crazy, like wouldn’t it be absolutely fucking wild, if the reason xie lian ascended three times despite having zero followers and the worst luck known to man or being, is because hua cheng was just SO. FUCKING. DEVOTED to him that by sheer love, sacrifice, and constant devotion he managed to keep making xie lian a god?

because when the pavilion of xianle gets desecrated baby teenage hua cheng promises that he will build a thousand more temples that are a thousand times better, for xie lian. and we KNOW hua cheng doesn’t break promises. and i certainly can’t imagine he broke this one.

so all i’m saying is that maybe all the ghosts in the ghost city worship xie lian (even if they don’t know it’s him specifically) purely through hua cheng’s influence. and that’s how xie lian keeps ascending despite it all. despite every single odd being against him. because hua cheng still sees him as a god. as THE god.

[clandestine-poet]

xie lian using hua cheng’s name to scare people because he knows if he asked, if he just asked, hua cheng would do anything for him including threaten, kill, ruin, torture, decimate anyone should they dare to do as much as crease xie lian’s brow! YES BABY RELY ON HIM! HE BUILT HIS REPUTATION JUST TO KEEP YOU SAFE! USE IT! HE GOT YOU!

[clandestine-poet]

First spin DONE!

Stolen Identity, okay.

OH OKAY!!! I LIKE THIS!!!!

YIPPEEE!!!!

I will begin. Let's go, Hualian. Sorry to do this to you.

Yippee!!! I saw this the other day and wanted to try it. I’ll probably hook up a wheel and start doing some stuff. 

I am quite bad at just writing, so this should help! Yay!

[clandestine-poet]

Yippee!!! I saw this the other day and wanted to try it. I’ll probably hook up a wheel and start doing some stuff. 

I am quite bad at just writing, so this should help! Yay!

[clandestine-poet]

Oh fun!! I quite enjoy reading everyone's tastes! It's really cool to see how many people have different takes on the same thing!!

Egg: Sunny Side Up 🌞

Steak: Rare or Medium Rare

Milk: I often avoid milk but I buy chocolate for my brother

Alcohol: I enjoy cooking with a sake for a good soup

Warm Drink: Strong tea with a bit of ume powder

[clandestine-poet]

HI HI!! I grew up in an east asian culture (I'm Japanese!) and let me TELL. YOU.

This is actually so real. Like, imagine if your partner calls you "Baby" or "My sweet partner" and SOME RANDOM STRANGER calls you "Baby" or "My Sweet Partner" LIKE NOOO????

this does give so many ideas though.

i wish you luck on your reading of Tian Guan Ci Fu <3

so when do we get the scene where someone else calls hua cheng ‘san lang’ and hua cheng just fucken. chokes them to death because that name is reserved for one person and One. Person. Only. yea when do we get that scene i want that scene when do we get that scene???

[clandestine-poet]

what makes this even funnier is the fact that Bacillus means "stick" in latin (I study latin and biology it's so funny and makes everything 1084395893405734 times easier)

so he'd be Stick F.

F stick.

Day 18 hating jun wu

If jun wu was a bacterium he'd be Bacillus F

[clandestine-poet]

YOU!!! YOU GET IT!!!!!

For context, before anything else, I myself am a lesbian.

Alright. So I don't quite know how to explain it, but Hualian really just has lesbian vibes. At least to me.

Being a lesbian is a lot of: "You girls must be such good friends!" "Do your boyfriends know you're here?" "How come I never see you two apart?" "Haha, two girls kissing? They must be best friends."

And look. Listen.

Hualian is constantly having people be like "You two must be such great friends!" from most of the other heavenly officials (until later on).

Xie Lian and San Lang at Puqi Village getting the "where's your wives?" every .5 seconds.

Xie Lian is constantly asked/talked about with "where's YOUR crimson rain sought flower?" or "If you are here, Crimson Rain is not far behind".

THEY KISS SO MUCH AND MOSTLY GET LOUDLY TOLD "there's other ways to exchange spiritual power!"

Also, there's something inherently powerful about a queer couple.

Being queer creates a space outside the norm. That unites us so much.

And it just feels like Hualian are the most lesbian-coded gay man couple I have seen in a long, long time.

[clandestine-poet]

Hua Cheng said that wasn't Dianxia's fault, no one could do better than him, he knew..🥲