cleverblogurlhere
4K posts
he/him this is my other blog where i complain enjoy
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i just. am so tired of being the one whos like hey do you wanna hang out! hey im going to a show do you wanna come! hey lets do this! hey lets go there! lets do that! id love for anyone to give enough of a fuck about me to ask ME if I want to come out tonight. if I want to come to this show. if I want to get dinner with them if I want to get drinks with them if I am free that night. i know everyone i know is a busy adult with their own lives and their own jobs and their own friends but it doesnt make it feel less shitty when i put in so much effort to ask people to come to things and im given nothing in return. like fuck i am so fucking lonely
#crying at 9:21am thinking about asking moon to the night market tonight remembering i have never been worth the effort#spent eight months reaching out and asking to hang out inviting to shows saying hey i miss you thinking of you hope things are going well#how's traveling been hey let's catch up soon#never worth it have never been worth it to anybody i dont know why i would ever hope for that to change#whats the fucking point. why do i bother. nobody would notice or care if i stopped trying. doesnt mean anything to anybody when i do anyway
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it just hurts my heart to look at him and think theres going to be a last time i see him. theres going to be a last time i hold his hand and a last time we lay in bed together and a last time we share a cigarette and a last bowl of pasta. a last laugh. a last cry. a last glass of wine. and i hate that some part of me wants to make that last one so soon. one more. please. just one more.
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need to just breathe. breathe. breathe. pull myself together.
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i cant do this anymore !! ahahahaha !!!!! i cant do any of this anymore hahahahaha !!!!!!!!
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pathetic fucking loser of COURSE nobody wants to see you unless they absolutely have to and they have no other choice. why the FUCK would anyone want to. what do you bring to the table. what do you even do. be fucking honest with me. why the fuck would anyone want to waste their time. theres eight billion people on the planet and every single one of them is more interesting and engaging than you could ever be. get the FUCK over yourself.
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i dont want to fucking cry tonight. im so sick of crying. i am so tired of this. it doesnt do ANYTHING. it doesnt solve ANYTHING. it makes me feel pathetic and useless and i am just. so. tired. of. it. put those fucking tears back in your eyes. i dont care. i dont want them tonight. put. them. back.
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i just. am so tired of being the one whos like hey do you wanna hang out! hey im going to a show do you wanna come! hey lets do this! hey lets go there! lets do that! id love for anyone to give enough of a fuck about me to ask ME if I want to come out tonight. if I want to come to this show. if I want to get dinner with them if I want to get drinks with them if I am free that night. i know everyone i know is a busy adult with their own lives and their own jobs and their own friends but it doesnt make it feel less shitty when i put in so much effort to ask people to come to things and im given nothing in return. like fuck i am so fucking lonely
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i should take myself out
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im tired of asking people out. i wish someone would ask me out.
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its just like gerard said. this aint a room full of suicides
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its just like gerard said. this aint a room full of suicides
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its just like gerard said. this aint a room full of suicides
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its just like gerard said. this aint a room full of suicides
7 notes
路
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its just like gerard said. this aint a room full of suicides
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