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Tips for Students

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child handling for the childless nurse

My current job has me working with children, which is kind of a weird shock after years in environments where a “young” patient is 40 years old.  Here’s my impressions so far:

Birth - 1 year: Essentially a small cute animal.  Handle accordingly; gently and affectionately, but relying heavily on the caregivers and with no real expectation of cooperation.

Age 1 - 2: Hates you.  Hates you so much.  You can smile, you can coo, you can attempt to soothe; they hate you anyway, because you’re a stranger and you’re scary and you’re touching them.  There’s no winning this so just get it over with as quickly and non-traumatically as possible.

Age 3 - 5: Nervous around medical things, but possible to soothe.  Easily upset, but also easily distracted from the thing that upset them.  Smartphone cartoons and “who wants a sticker?!!?!?” are key management techniques.

Age 6 - 10: Really cool, actually.  I did not realize kids were this cool.  Around this age they tend to be fairly outgoing, and super curious and eager to learn.  Absolutely do not babytalk; instead, flatter them with how grown-up they are, teach them some Fun Gross Medical Facts, and introduce potentially frightening experiences with “hey, you want to see something really cool?”

Age 11 - 14: Extremely variable.  Can be very childish or very mature, or rapidly switch from one mode to the other.  At this point you can almost treat them as an adult, just… a really sensitive and unpredictable adult.  Do not, under any circumstances, offer stickers.  (But they might grab one out of the bin anyway.)

Age 15 - 18: Basically an adult with severely limited life experience.  Treat as an adult who needs a little extra education with their care.  Keep parents out of the room as much as possible, unless the kid wants them there.  At this point you can go ahead and offer stickers again, because they’ll probably think it’s funny.  And they’ll want one.  Deep down, everyone wants a sticker.

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rhythm Dogs!

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Eggs-John Mulaney

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YonvSeaOexo

This is the best

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God, listening to John Mulaney talk about doing hard fucking drugs in his youth is like hearing a nun reminisce on her last orgy before she converted. What do you mean you didn’t come out of the womb with a fatherly demeanor and crippling anxiety?

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The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.” 

“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”

“A different hipprogriff.”

“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”

“Prove it.” 

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ATTENTION ALL GIRLS AND LADIES: if you walk from home, school, office or anywhere and you are alone and you come across a little boy crying holding a piece of paper with an address on it, DO NOT TAKE HIM THERE! take him straight to the police station for this is the new 'gang' way of rape. The incident is getting worse. Warn your families. Reblog this so this message can get accross to everyone.

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A very curious octopus.

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Life Magazine, May 1909

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nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it

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Source Click HERE to Follow the Ultrafacts Blog!

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You’re welcome

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Like, I knew shepherding was a boring job

but these guys really had nothing better to do

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Why don't we talk about Portugal more?

They decriminalized ALL drugs. Every single one. Yes, even that one. If you get caught w. more than a 10 days supply (what ever that means) of any drug you meet in front of a Doctor, Lawyer and Social worker about drug addiction. They may or may not give you a fine but essentially there’s no penalty.

AND IT WORKED! ADDICTION RATES DROPPED. HIV RATES IN INJECTION USERS DROPPED. DEATH BY DRUG OD PLUMMETED.

Potugal has shown us that when we treat drug addiction as a medical/health issue, instead of a moral one, it is more efficient.

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NOTHING ABOUT THIS STORY IS HUMANE. FUCK ICE AND FUCK HARSH IMMIGRATION POLICIES. NO HUMAN IS ILLEGAL