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skating

Oh, hey, it's a wee snippet of Meetra/Atton fluff with a touch of angst - shocking I'd write such a thing! Belongs to the KotOR RockAU - maybe becomes more than a snippet one day. Props always to @arturas-writes for writing this world with me. Read the full thing here on AO3.

“Uh….what are these?”  

Atton’s wearing that damn grin and a quizzical look - and holding up a rather neglected pair of sky blue suede roller skates.  Her roller skates.  The ones she’s not worn in how many years?

“Skates.”  Meetra’s tone is cool and matter-of-fact, like she’s just been caught up in some sort of scandal but can plausibly deny any sort of involvement.   “Roller skates.”  

Although maybe the cool slips just a bit because Atton’s grin gets bigger.  “Yeah, I know they are skates.  But YOUR skates?  Seem a bit….bright?”

It’s not so much a question as an accusation - or so it feels in Meetra’s inexplicably panicked brain.  No, there’s a reason for the panic.  Atton’s grin says he’s seen more than the skates.  He’s seen the fucking rainbow sparkle helmet and goddamn matching pads.  And he knows they are her skates.  Yeah, they aren’t her usual black but look, if you are gonna fucking quad skate you might as well embrace the aesthetic.   And blue suede skates with light-up wheels and a rainbow helmet look pretty damn sweet with black hot pants.

She’d been more regular than good.  In the early days of Revanchist it was one of the few things she did apart from the band - or rather apart from Revan and Alek.  Hit the beach boardwalk, headphones in, just skate.  Nothing fancy.  Sometimes she’d wake up early on a weekday and head to the skate park - rarely folks there then - just to see if she could maybe make it up a ramp or two.  Always that precarious balance of the exhilaration of speed and the fear of crashing hard.

Maybe not so different than being on stage really.

The panic wanes.  Turns to some other emotion - nostalgia?  Regret?

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Me entering any museum: man I’m so excited to learn all the things

Also me: GIFT SHOP GIFT SHOP GIFT SHOP

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Swoon June 2022

Swoon June is back and coming up fast!

Make sure to use the tag #SwoonJune2022 and if you’re posting on AO3 there will be a collection of the same name to add your works to.

If you have any comments/questions, feel free to ask! Our mods this month are @ilonga​ (Arti) and @meep-morp-s (Katie/KT)

Text-version of the prompts under the cut:

Keep reading

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anyone else get embarrassed when their self indulgent daydreams are like too self-indulgent? like oh jeez the telepaths are going to judge me

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definitely fewer fucks to give

i see the younglings post things like "are you still on tumblr at 30?" and "go take care of your kids instead of reading fics"

and i just feel sad

because you have a bunch of young people who are terrified of getting older.

they think age is going to change them, into something boring, something different, something grey.

and i just want to tell them, reassure them:

you will still be the same person.

isn't it wonderful?

you will love the things you love for so many years. you will find joy in the same things, decade after decade. you will feel the same inside, through all this time.

yes, the body will change. yes there's more responsibilities, less time, even less energy.

but there's no magical age where you stop enjoying that specific story, that specific game, that specific hobby.

but you know what also comes with age?

you have less fucks to give.

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The Beach...

dusts off tumblr....

It's been a while....not much writing in months, some because of very good things and some because of...work. But trying to dust off the fics and get back to it.

Here's a snippet from an unpublished bit of my KotOR series....takes place after the Star Forge on the beach of Lehon....and, yes, Malak lives (sorry, not sorry).

Here ya go....

“Why didn’t you leave me to die?”  It was the first time Alek had spoken at all since their fight on the Star Forge.  His harsh mechanical voice still sounded unfamiliar in Revan’s ears.  You did that.  He wished Aoibhinn had stayed.  “Why, Revan?  Why didn’t you let me die?”

“Don’t call me that.”  Revan knew the other man was watching him for some sort of answer, but couldn’t meet his gaze, stared instead at the horizon.  Coward.  

“Why?  Did you not claim that name for yourself?  And now….now you are Revan the Redeemed.  Nice ring to that.  The Republic will love it.”  Malak’s laugh was worse than his voice, a hideous distortion of the warmth of Alek’s.  

When Revan said nothing, Alek continued, “What should I call you then?”

“Should I call you Malak?” He hated the cruelty in his voice at the question, especially given the resignation in Alek’s reply.

“Does it matter?”

Revan didn’t answer that either.  There weren’t any answers really.  They should both be dead by each other’s hand, a certain poetic justice to that.  The once heroes of the Republic, fallen so far, far enough to want each other dead despite the things that had been between them.

But they weren’t dead, because of those things that had been between them.  

They were running out of time here, time on this beach where they’d sat before when they’d first found the Star Forge.  They’d fallen by then, Revan because he thought he could use the darkness, Malak because he’d been swallowed by it.  Even so, they’d been enough of themselves then that for a few hours at least, they’d left behind Revan and Malak and climbed out of the darkness, could be the young men they’d been on Dantooine when war was only an abstraction and they’d first found what it had meant to love.

Revan had thought that love was a weakness, but like many things he’d been so sure of, he’d been wrong.  

“Does it hurt?”  He looked at Alek then, forced himself to see the cold metal jaw that had once been flesh.  If it had been flesh it would have clinched in anger at the question.

Alek’s eyes were the same though, or they would be except the color was wrong.

“Yeah, Revan, it fucking hurts.  Always.”

Revan wasn’t sure if he meant the jaw or something else or all of it.  He wanted to ask if Alek remembered being here on this beach, if anything from before mattered now.  But that was a cruel and selfish impulse, so he swallowed his words.  What could he say that wouldn’t be selfish?  There was nothing.

“Do you remember it?”  That was a loaded question wasn’t it?  He could hardly be angry.

“Not everything.  But enough.  I ….I hurt you.”  And that was true in so many way.  “You tried to stop me, on Dantooine, the cave.  I dreamed of that.  One of the first things I remembered.”

“You were always so fucking sure.”  The bitter anger in the voice belonged to Alek.

“I’m not now.”  That was a selfish thing to say, too, Revan knew.  He wanted Alek to forgive him and he didn’t deserve it.  “The first thing I remembered was you killing me, trying to anyway.”  He laughed in a small ugly way.

Alek still held his gaze hard, “I hated you.”  He stopped and looked at the sky, his eyes half closed, “I hated you but I couldn’t stop….”  His strange voice broke and fell silent, his ragged breathing the only sound above the waves.

Maybe the only thing to say was the truth.  “Those were dreams, the first things I remembered.  Wasn’t sure they were anything other than dreams.  It’s like who I was, really was, was this itch, right there beneath the surface of the blanks in my mind, trying to claw its way out.  You were always there.  Always with me.”  He was watching Alek, who still watched the sky.  “After the Leviathan, it started to come back, real memories and not just in dreams.  The first thing, the first thing…”  He clinched his teeth against the rush of the memory.  “The first thing that came back was Dantooine when we were…when we…that place out on the plains we used to go…when we….”   He had to look away then.  “When I knew what I wanted was you.”

“Fuck you, Revan.”  Alek’s voice was barely a rattle.  “Fuck you.”

They looked at each other then, both with red-rimmed eyes.  “I’m sorry.”  Those words, too little, too late.

“Why didn’t you just kill me?”

He just had the truth, as weak as it was.  “I couldn’t.  I remembered too much.”

Those words hung in the wind and the waves as they watched their faces, waiting for the other to break.  Revan half wished that someone would come looking for them, tell them it was time to go, half wished that no one would ever come, that they’d just leave the two of them here on this beach to wallow in the things that could have been.

“So you remember?”

“Not everything, but enough.  I can’t remember everything about what I found, beyond the Outer Rim, why I thought we needed the Star Forge, why I wanted…why Malachor.  But I remember you, Alek, what I did to you.  Remember how things were before that.”

“What do you want me to say, Revan?”  He could almost imagine hearing Alek’s voice as it should sound.  “That I forgive you?  That I never stopped…”  For just a moment, his eyes looked right, just sad and hurt.  Then he closed them, leaned back against the rock, his broken face tipped to the sun.

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“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

— Emily Bronte

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The beast doesn’t need to transform to be loved. He doesn’t have to turn into a boring fucking prince to be loved. Or renounce to the essence of who it is. To me love is not transformation, love is acceptance and understanding.

Guillermo del Toro

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— Ocean Vuong in conversation with Spencer Quong

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You will not believe the amount of times I’ve read an English word and thought of a pronunciation and then continued to pronounce the word that way in my head for years only to discover that it has a completely different pronunciation and I would’ve made a fool of myself if I had ever pronounced that word out loud

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KOTOR Social Media

silly post incoming

Based on the ‘tumblr users are burned out gifted students’ trope, Bastila is CLEARLY the tumblr user on the Ebon Hawk, but only after she got fed up arguing with (wrong) people on Twitter.  (She still argues with people on Twitter, but on a new handle.) 

Mission is on Tiktok and Youtube, doing urban exploration and makeover videos.  Somehow, Zaalbar stars in both.

Juhani is on Instagram.  She likes the filters and captioning system.  She makes it a point to tag the Jedi Council on everything, with lots of emojis.  That said, she has a secret tumblr where she obsesses over Bastila’s posts and vents her angst and frustration about her gender identity, sexuality, status as an alien minority, and injustices in the Republic. 

Canderous is on Tindr, Grindr, Fetlife, Ashley Madison, Hinge… the list goes on.  He has the general attitude of  ~unzips~ “There’s your content!” .

Jolee Bindo is on Facebook, and every person he’s ever met is his friend.He reposts low-quality memes that make him laugh.  He semi-regularly writes massive storytime posts that seem to be one very elaborate run-on sentence.  He has no idea how to tag anyone or how to make anything “friends only”.  He also has a MySpace account from ‘back in the day.’

Carth is on LinkedIn.  He checks it once every six months, if that.  He seriously doesn’t get any of this. He changed his profile picture for the first time since Dustil was born and was utterly bewildered by the excessive amount of likes and comments.  

HK-47 and T3 are clearly on Reddit.

Revan has all of the above, somehow, from OG Revan, Amnesia Identity, and Revan the Remix.  In what order and in what combinations, I leave up to your headcanon for your own personal Revan

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As for me, I used to think that Ezra was counting on me to protect Lothal, the planet and the people he cared for so much... but one day, I realised there was more to it...

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Ring, 1700s, with the inscription, “Many are the stars i see but in my eye no star like thee.”

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shipping fictional characters together as an adult is actually very fun and i encourage it. it is also one of the worst things you can do to yourself and should not be attempted. it's very simple really.

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who wants to see my favorite statue

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can we all agree that pressing foreheads together is an underrated act of affection??

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Not gonna lie....I kinda want to write this fic....

If Anakin & Revan, with full potential unlocked, ever met in battle during a crossover.

Anakin who's never paid attention in history class: I'm the Chosen One! The most powerful Jedi ever! Who or what the hell are you?

Revan: Saviour, conqueror, hero, villain, I am all these things. But in the end, as the darkness takes me... I am Revan Reborn! And before me you are nothing!

Anakin: You underestimate my power!

Meetra & Obi-Wan: standing next to each other, arms folded, rolling their eyes, having heard it all before.

Carth, Canderous, Rex & Cody: placing bets.

Ahsoka & Mission: watching with popcorn.

Bastila & Padme: arguing about who'll win.