clockworksteel

[clockworksteel]

The Void Rains Upon Her Heart: Veyerals

So, the Veyerals. The monster type that shares a name with Veyeral Games. Perhaps the most plot-important monster type, although that can't be fully said when the plot hasn't all been released. The monsters of the Purple Tetrids of Loneliness. Although, I'm seeing there isn't actually a monster that produces Purple Tetrids, so that's odd. [Energy Tank Power Gift][Full Prism Bounty Gift][Veyeral Sigil Bounty Gift] Guess the post is over.

Okay, but seriously. They do exist.

"Veyerals are creatures from the void. They are attracted to feelings of loneliness and they infect any life that they come across. Those that have been infected are driven mad by extreme loneliness until the Veyerals completely take over their mind." [Two Purple Bonus Gift] "All Veyerals seem to have the same goal, not to take a life, but to convince a life to end itself. They die along with their host. Is that really what they want?" [Three Purple Bonus Gift]

Besides needing to watch out for dying with a host, Veyerals are also attacked on sight by the monster type I haven't covered yet, the Zaramechs [Two Blue Bonus Gift].

In terms of physical appearance, Veyerals are eyeball monsters. Often they'll have some sort of elemental orbs they use, but the typical main body is gonna be round with a single eye. Their species name is probably pronounced like "Viral" due to saying the embedded "eye" that way. Speaking of names, Veyerals don't have typical names, instead having descriptive titles like "Burning Veyeral" and "Voltage Veyeral". [Purple Mote Bounty Gift] Many Veyerals, especially those that haven't taken on an element, are pretty dark. It has been said that "Veyerals are so dark that they don't reflect any light" [Voltage Veyeral My Notes] and if you look at them "it looks like there's a blind spot on your eyeball. Just a small amount of blue light escapes from their body." [redacted My Notes] A select few have Zaranoid forms, but it doesn't seem to be part of the species as a whole. [various story events]

In terms of abilities, it seems Veyerals mostly absorb attributes from the environment and use those. Molten Veyeral apparently ended up Molten because of finding a source of warmth and never letting go [Molten Veyeral My Notes], however, they don't actually feel anything as they do so, which they find disappointing [Warmth Power Gift]. Venom Veyeral rolled around in toxic chemicals, also hoping to feel something [Venom Veyeral My Notes]. When they haven't lit themselves on fire, they are apparently cold. [Warmth Power Gift, again]

They, or at least a special one called Void, may also have some form of telepathy, which they use to drive others to despair. Perhaps it's part of their parasitic loneliness. This may explain the memory text of the Chrome Heart Quick Gifts:

Chrome Heart: When I see my reflection, I hear a voice. It knows how to destroy me. It sounds just like me, but that isn't me.

Chrome Duo: That's not me. Is that me? I can't recognize myself. I've become someone else. I was me, but now she's gone.

Chrome Trio: You think you're in the one in control anymore? Take a look at your reflection! HahAhaHaAhaHAahaAhaHA

Returning to the idea of their absence, my own personal speculation about why Zaraden Society doesn't know there's a monster type that produced Purple Tetrids falls into two main ideas:

Maybe they really did go extinct, or nearly so, but came back later. Between their own behavior of dying along with their host and being hunted by Zaramech, they seem more at-risk than other monster types. Perhaps the Zaraden practice of throwing wingless into the pit produced too many hosts too quickly.

Maybe, being creatures of loneliness, they're repelled by large populations and just haven't been discovered, even though they've been around the whole time.

That said, there seems to be a difference between what the purple bonus gifts say about Veyerals and how some of the present Veyerals act. Rather than infecting hosts and dying alongside them, it seems Veyerals now have a "mother" called "Void" that they deliver hearts to, which are then absorbed, and that they can do this many times. [Blue Hug]. Maybe whatever incident brought about the unending rain also caused Void and these new Veyerals to appear? Additionally, most of the Veyerals we see can feel love when the main characters share it with them and are happy to play games or hang out together, which seems like a contrast from the parasitic killers they're depicted as, though that may just be how powerful love is. I don't think there are answers in the current version, but it's fun to think about.

Still, there are some indications that Veyerals do still try to infect and bring down a host besides Void. Several Veyeral burdens address "you" rather than being about the Veyeral's own internal struggle, such as "You are lacking in color. You can join me in dullness. No amount of color can fix you" [Vibrant Veyeral Burden] or "You are lacking in warmth. You can join me in burning. Take your place inside the fire with me." [Burning Veyeral Burden]. It feels like the same tactics Void uses to try to bring down the main character. Perhaps even if there are new Veyerals that act differently, some of the old Veyerals remained?

Anyway, getting away from my own thoughts and speculations, let's get the usual thoughts from the Mote Monster on the theme emotions of the relevant Tetrids: Burden: So this is the feeling of loneliness? The purpose of this feeling is to let you know when to seek companionship and comfort from another. But if there is no one else around, this becomes a deadly poison. You are not made to feel this for very long. Blessing: So this is the feeling of belonging? You accept all these monsters as they are. You understand how they feel and they understand how you feel. This is why you can win them over so easily. They- We accept you too.

Finally, let's get some specific Veyerals and screenshots: Veyeral Rain, who wish experience dreams, although Veyerals cannot dream on their own. In an event, you can share yours with them again. Despite how many Veyerals there are in this group encounter, "somehow they always end up talkinga bout how lonely they are. [Veyeral Rain My Notes]

Phase 1 consists mainly of small summons that bounce around, shoot lasers, or shoot red bullets, while a constant rain effect happens (screenshot taken at minimum fight level with the HUD disabled).

Phase 2 includes the appearance of a slightly larger main body

And here's one that's not a black ball with a red eye, though it is common for that to be the main body of a Veyeral. Storm Veyeral wants to be loved, but uses thunder to scare people away [Storm Veyeral My Notes]. Zaraden, or at least the first main character are pretty scared of thunder, so I would imagine that's a pretty effective strategy for Storm Veyeral at, uh, not getting what she wants. [Thunder Power Gift]

Electricity often crackles across her surface, but it doesn't look good in screenshots so I got a shot without any.

Also, a fun fact I hadn't really noticed before taking these screenshots: the main eye of most Veyerals tracks the player. I'm usually focused more on the bullets.

[clockworksteel]

So near the end of 2024 there were, of course, various Spotify-related posts going around and I didn't have a Spotify Wrapped of my own, but did have a similar list of music I listened to on Youtube. I took notes on what the answers would be if I used that, but wanted to collect them up and post them all at once, partially so I could just explain once it was actually not from Spotify. Clearly I forgot. I also kinda didn't want to interrupt the Void Rain game posts but I've been lazy about those and there are still two to go. So anyway, here, in late January, the top 5 of my Youtube Music automatic playlist from 2024 plus some arbitrary other parts based on posts that crossed my dashboard.

Top 5:

Like Chimeras - Cassette Beasts OST

Your Inception - Cassette Beasts OST

Shot in The Dark - Cassette Beasts OST

Same Old Story - Cassette Beasts OST

Virtual Insanity - Jamiroquai

The one that barely didn't make top 5: #6 Angry White Boy Polka - Weird Al

First Song Title with a Name In It: #7 Billie Jean But Every Instrument Is A Spring Door Stopper - Beeble

First Song Title with a Color: #6 Angry White Boy Polka - Weird Al (Or excluding "white" when it refers to a race, the answer is #31 [Kasane Teto SV] Vermilion / CircusP [ ⚠ CW ])

First song Title that is primarily another language: #28 Bubble no Jumon ha Shoot ! Pop ! Push ! (Shuu! Po! Passhu!) - PikaTwo

#25 to find out how your year will go: #25 I Wish That I Could Fall (feat. GUMI SV) - Jamie Paige / JamieP (Seems like a bad sign?)

First song Title with an animal in it: #1 Like Chimeras - Cassette Beasts OST (Or if Chimeras aren't an animal, then there is no answer in song titles, while going with full video titles picks up #21 I Would Rather // Jazz Emu)

[clockworksteel]

The Void Rains Upon Her Heart: Glyphs

Well, before talking about glyph monsters, I should probably briefly talk about glyphs. We'll get to the monsters though.

Glyphs are the symbols used when writing the Eyeric language. While it's my understanding the developer hasn't created a complete language, there are still a variety of symbols that have pronunciations and individual meanings that are put together to form some more example words. Also, every monster has a name written in Eyeric in the collection menu. Glyphs always look like a circle with some lines coming out, kinda like an Unown from Pokemon but with more straight lines, but with the central circle either being empty, having a dot, or having a line through it.

I'd like to specifically point out the presence of "Zaraden" in the word list of "explosive", considering that's the name of the player characters' species. It uses "Za", which I don't know if we have a direct meaning for, then "Ra" (Power/More) then "Den" (Color). My understanding of the first glyph is that it's something like "that" or "those", in that it can make the glyph for "self" into the word for "her". So while the memory text says "colorful being", getting more literal is probably something like "those of many colors".

Glyph Monsters, meanwhile, are the monsters of Yellow Tetrids and Denial. They "embody the literal meaning of the symbol they take the form of" and "were discovered long after the symbols had been created" [Two Yellow Bonus Gift]. "The behavior of an Eyeric Glyph is unpredictable. They have been known to hold perfectly still for days at a time only to shift around shift around at impossible speeds right after" and also "will attack any Zaraden near them." Whoever is writing the Tetrid bonus gift descriptions also speculates "Did we accidentally create them? Are they angry at us?" [Three Yellow Bonus Gift]. I personally speculate that the written language somehow focused the collective dreams of Zaraden into these monsters, which could not have formed without some agreement about what shape they would take.

While their combat forms are just their glyphs, plus maybe some extra geometric bits on the outside, they are the third and final monster type that routinely take Zaranoid forms. Unlike Glass Flora that just seem to have Zaranoid parts mysteriously, or Shambles which change their shape, though, the method glyphs use is described as projecting something "almost like a hologram, but they appear solid". [The Heart of a Monster Dreamscape] [All Stone Power Gift] [Dual Stones Quick Gift] Also, rather than appearing to have a scar over where their heart should be in their Zaranoid form, glyph monsters' projections tend to have a big hole through the chest, though I can only speculate whether it stems from the same sort of incident or is the glyph representing the circle in the middle of their symbol.

In terms of behavior, one thing Glyph Monsters seem to have in common besides shifting around at impossible speeds is that they created the Heart Stones, for some reason. "They are believed to be made of the same material as the Glyphs themselves" and "Glyph monsters will guard their heart stones for a few days after creating them. They DO NOT like it when another living thing touches their heart stone during this time." [Heart Stone Power Gift] Though they're protective of them, they are sometimes willing to give Heart Stones away, as happens in many events related to Glyph monsters.

Interestingly, the material Heart Stones are made of happens to be genetically similar to Zaraden [Quicklove++ Quick Gift], and, at least sometimes, exactly matches specific Zaraden [Quicklove+++ Quick Gift]

Heart Stones in game act as shooting familiars of differing elements.

The "My Notes" for the newborn glyph are a little interesting, so I'll provide that here: "She looks just like the symbol Ai. The symbol we use to describe clean, new, and self. It looks as if she is not fully formed yet. Do these glyphs choose their own shape? It would make sense that they begin as the symbol for "new" before becoming another.

As far as what Topaz has to say about Denial: Burden: So this is the feeling of denial? It is a powerful defense from suffering overwhelming emotions. However, this shield must eventually come down in order to resolve the source of those emotions. Are you ready to handle them? Blessing: So this is the feeling of acceptance? Accepting can be painful. It will bring back all the emotions you were defending yourself from. But acceptance can also be a weapon against those emotions. …Did you just lick This One? That's alright. The Orb before you has provided a comforting feeling to you.

The end of the blessing there is actually a callback to the "My Notes" section of Topaz. "She isn't really an Eyeric Glyph monster, but a ball of yellow motes. She is part of another monster. I know yellow tetrids taste just like a sweet fruit, but I'm not going to ask what she tastes like. No, I could never ask something like that! So anyways, she tastes like a sweet fruit…"

As much as this is a game about a dystopian society, loss, fear, and other painful emotions, it's also silly and about love.

Anyway, the specific glyph monsters I've chosen to bring up, based entirely on whose events appeared in the run I was taking screenshots in, are Chemory and Ombroah.

Regarding Ombroah, the monster form of the "Ah" Glyph, representing "water, rain, and darkness" the "My Notes" says "It constantly rains wherever she goes. She would like nothing more than to cuddle next to someone under an umbrella". While in battle she has a constant raincloud that makes bullets fall from above (included in the phase 2 screenshot, although it's present in both), she does indeed have an event where she allows the player character to rest under her umbrella. In her Burden, she blames herself for the unending rain that is central to the game's plot, but it really isn't her fault.

Ombroah Phase 1:

Ombroah Phase 2:

Ombroah during her Event:

Then there's Chemory, the "Ry" glyph. The "My Notes" on Chemory, the glyph of "chemicals, elements, and nature" "can change the chemical composition of the air around her." She can make the air smell like anything, and also makes perfumes [Chemory: My Notes]. In battle, she makes the air poisonous, with the player fighting from the safety of several large bubbles. In her event, the player can trade items, with bonus value placed on those that would be good in perfume-making (I think mostly fruits and flowers).

Chemory Phase 2 (phase 1 just doesn't have the outer bits)

Chemory in her Event:

Also, one thing I haven't mentioned is that every monster in the game has a name in Eyeric. Here's Chemory's:

True glyph monsters, when looking at their Eyeric name, have both the dotted and undotted versions of their glyph surrounding that same middle character that I don't know the meaning of. The honorary glyph monsters don't follow that pattern. Like, the yellow heart follows the pattern of being one glyph plus the color glyph, since the heart monsters are named for colors.

[clockworksteel]

Goals for 2025

Yep, it's New Year's time.

Serious goals

Make necessary calls and such to hire somebody for at least one major house-related task this year. Some possibilities: repainting the outside of the house, patching the driveway, or fixing AC in my room. Ideally more than one, of course.

Actually regularly exercise this year. It would be good if I could at least make some progress on my shoulder rather than neglecting physical therapy stuff. Like, there's a definite problem.

Prepare at least 10 recipes I've never done before. Some will probably come from the cookbooks I was given for Christmas, but taking over the occasional meal from the meal delivery service I get with my housemate is a possibility. It would be good if I could step up more with regards to cooking, and my housemate will be leaving someday.

Fun goals

Finish some games that I own already, but haven't played in over two months. It's good to appreciate the games I already own, and will save some cash if it reduces my Steam sale spending. Specifically I'd like to finish:

At least one strategy game. Likely one of Persona 5 Tactica, Unicorn Overlord, Mario and Rabbids, or Fire Emblem Engage.

At least one game I never even started. Possibilities include Hi-Fi Rush, Coromon, Dream Tactics, Before Your Eyes, Nobody Saves the World, Blue Fire, Temtem, and about a jillion things from those charity itch.io bundles.

At least two other games. Some ideas: Monster Sanctuary, Chrono Ark, Cupid Parasite, Yooka Laylee and the Impossible Lair, Berserk Boy, Dungeon Drafters, Tales of Arise, Rain World

Review at least 10 games on Steam. I play a lot of games. I'd like to practice gathering my thoughts on what makes a game fun or not.

Finish the Void Rain species posts. Still need Glyphs, Veyerals, and Zaramechs.

Remarks

I didn't include a gender goal because I don't think it can be forced, but I'm not fully convinced I've got it figured out. See my last post for my current thoughts.

I'm not feeling like pushing Challenge Enthusiasts this year. To write down my current points in case they do change, though, they're at 680. I guess I already remarked I earned about 200, but the actual change in points was from 465 to 680, due to either new objectives I'd already done being added, or point values being adjusted.

While there are a number of other household tasks I will want to get done this year, I don't think making them a resolution will help. I've started playing Spirit City: Lofi Sessions recently and that might be what I need for them. I don't want to make a "play Spirit City" goal, though, because that's not really the essential part of what's going on and I might drop the game without dropping the habit of doing things.

[clockworksteel]

Well, I guess my usual end of year thing is to look back at goals and say how they went. Honestly, the year was kinda rough, and I think I spent most of the second half of the year in some stage of burnout, so I'm not gonna worry too much about things that didn't get finished.

Serious Goals

Exercise: Some token efforts were made, but no true habit formed. Maybe next year.

Take care of something around the house: I did put a new auto-closer on the back door, as was one of the tasks I listed as something I might do, so technically accomplished already in January. I also arranged to have the water heater replaced, so a bit of a bonus. There were a couple things I was honestly hoping I'd get around to that I didn't, but honestly, it's fine. Plus even though it wasn't an emergency replacement or anything, getting a new water heater was probably better than getting the outside of the house painted.

Clearing the stacks of paper from my desk: Well… I think the stacks of paper might be shorter? Also, vaguely related, I did at least take care of a lot of the plastic bottles and snack containers that had built up nearby, so that's something.

Gender progress: I feel like I didn't gather any new evidence this year. I'm currently kinda going with the idea that I'm almost agender, but, like there's 3% of a gender just kinda wobbling around, which I guess technically could be called something like demi-genderfluid but I feel like that label implies way more gender non-conforming than I've been doing. I've compared my current gender to a TV remote that's basically out of batteries but can still produce a little signal if you're lucky. Two years ago I definitely had 3 months of feeling transfem, but, I mean, if you bottle up 1-3% of a gender for 3 decades maybe that does come out to 3 months. I haven't done the math. Of course, anytime I make an avatar of some sort of a video game lately I'm like, "Well, time to make a girl and see if there's trans flag clothing" so there's really no way of knowing whether there's more going on. I mean, I'm about to go to my parents' house, so maybe it's better not to dwell too hard on that anyway.

Fun Goals

Earn at least 100 Challenge Enthusiasts Points: Doubled the goal. Site updates adjusted some point values and added some objectives I'd already done, but my best attempt at adding up everything I actually did this year comes out to 200 points, anyway. Turns out the fun ones are kinda easier to stick with, although honestly, the points were mostly frontloaded in the year. Burnout even affected my gaming.

Finish Factorio and at least one other game I stopped playing for at least 4 months: Yep, did this too. Factorio, Hue, and Kirby Return to Dreamland Deluxe.

I'm not gonna try to get too into next year's goals yet. That's kinda an activity for me in the car closer to New Year's. I just thought I'd get the wrap-up done now since it's not like I'm gonna do anything more while I'm gone.

I do want to actually finish those monster-type writeups for The Void Rains Upon Her Heart though. I've written most of a post on Glyph Monsters and already have the screenshots I want from story events.

[clockworksteel]

The Void Rains Upon Her Heart: Shambles

A third post on monster types in The Void Rains Upon Her Heart. I was going to skip the usual preamble about these not really getting into deep lore and how I put sources in [], but it's been a while so there it is just now.

Shambles are associated with Green Tetrids, the tetrids of Shame, Guilt, and Embarassment. In the associated memories, Shambles are described as "very powerful beings that can warp time and space. The most powerful ones can tear a place to shreds just by existing. They can pull objects right out of the air. These objects are believed to be taken from an alternate timeline. Likewise, they can make anything vanish by presumably taking it to another universe." [Two Green Bonus Gift] However, "weaker shambles that can't simply tear a hole thorugh walls are often seen avoiding invisible obstacles that either used to exist or might exist in the future. There are theories that Shambles are actually four dimensional creatures. We can only see a small fraction of their true forms." [Three Green Bonus Gift] It's also been observed what happens when a weak Shamble fails to react to these "invisible obstacles": they "suddenly cry out in pain and start bleeding from a random place on their body." [Foreign Axon Upgrade Gift 2] For some reason, they always refer to themselves with plural pronouns like we/our [Foreign Axon Upgrade Gift 1]. I'll be using they/them when I refer to them, but I think some of them might use she/her, and I'm pretty sure Scrambla says "sister" rather than "sisters" when talking about Boilder, but I digress.

It's hard to say much in general about Shamble appearances, although a number of them have body parts that aren't actually connected to them, such as floating eyes. One memory describes them by saying "they usually look like a bunch of pieces moving together. Like chunks of meat and stuff like that." [Shamble Sigil Bounty Gift] Also, they're another type of monster that shows a Zaranoid (humanoid) form when in conversation, with another memory mentioning they "seem to be able to take many shapes" [The Heart of a Monster Dreamscape]. Like other monsters that can take Zaranoid form, though, they always have a scar on their chest [still The Heart of a Monster]

In-game, they fortunately keep most of their greatest time/space shenanigans to events rather than using them in battle. They can help the player send items to future runs, and provide extra-dimensional space for other monsters, even from another parallel universe. A one-way portal to another point in space/time in the same universe is a Link Synapse [Link Synapse Power Gift] while a Warp Synapse only moves objects through space but can be 2-way [Warp Synapse]

As is tradition in these posts before a couple specific examples of monsters, here's what the honorary shamble, Emerald, has to say about Shame through its burden and blessing:

Burden: So this is the feeling of shame? It is a powerful social tool for correcting harmful behavior, but it has been used incorrectly on you. You can't correct your wings, and the ones who made you feel this way should be feeling shame instead.

Blessing: So this is the feeling of pride? Yes, you deserve to feel proud of how far you've come. Try to stay humble by remembering all the mistakes you've overcome so far, and thank the ones who helped you along the way.

And my arbitrarily selected representatives of regular Shambles… based almost entirely on whose events came up in a run I did this week so I could get event form screenshots.

Scrambla is one of the first Shambles players are likely to meet, due to their low minimum level and lack of an unlock requirement. They enjoy hugs a lot and their event is one of two Link Synapse events that allow sending gifts to future runs. In an early conversation, they say that the form they take is based on the main character's, because they found her cute. [Her Heart Scenes: Meet Scrambla]

Knot and Knott, forming Knot Knott are the most married of all monsters. They refer to each other as their wife, at least. Though they're "from completely different universes", "they wanted to be together so much that they pulled each other into this world". [Knot Knott Notes]. Their battle form has them physically connected, but they can separate, although this gives Knot anxiety after even a moment [Shiny Knot Knot Notes]. I'll type out the burden and blessing for their shiny form:

Burden: Our other half is gone. She has finally had enough of us! We are never going to see our wife again. She is gone for good this time. (Based on event text, it has been 5 minutes)

Blessing: We know you would never leave us. Our mind can't help but go to the worst places. We are trying our best to stop that. We can do better.

I think I've remarked before, but I really like how the burden/blessing combos are very often a before/after where in the middle they get doing much better.

Anyway, let's get some screenshots in here

Scrambla Battle:

Scrambla Conversation:

Knot Knott Battle:

Knot Knott Conversation:

[clockworksteel]

Hey! 👋

Do you plan on continuing tvruhh monster lore posts?

I know not many people have seen it overall but i would like if you continued!

Yes, I do plan on it. I was kinda exhausted for a few weeks and felt like I'd lost momentum at that point. I also sort of stopped playing when I got 100%, but I believe there are 2 or 3 more monsters in the game now.

Anyway, I'd at least like to hit the 6 main monster types before stopping for good. I've got a mostly finished post on Shambles. I just need to get back into the game again and get some screenshots and specific monster quotes. I'm traveling for the holiday, but can probably get at least the shamble post out sometime next week. Then I believe the order I'd planned was Glyphs, then Veyerals, then Zaramechs. Zaramechs are last because I want to talk about Default a lot.

Thanks for showing interest. :)

[clockworksteel]

The Void Rains Upon Her Heart: Guardians

Another monster type: this time the Guardians. As usual, this is the surface level lore aimed at allowing non-players to understand the universe a little in case of multifandom RP or something, not a deep dive, and I'll use [] when I'm citing an in-game source.

Guardians are associated with Red Tetrids, the tetrids of Frustration. From our Tetrid-Memory-based overview, we learn that Guardians are mutated versions of the planet's wildlife. They're always much larger, and every species has at least one. They guard specific areas for unknown reasons, thus the name [Two Red Bonus Gift]. The areas they guard are referred to as Guardian Zones, and they head straight for the nearest zone as soon as they start mutating, overriding their species' "usual habits and instincts" [Three Red Bonus Gift].

They're one of the three monster types that lacks a "Zaranoid" form, and will look the same when conversing with the player as they do in battle, besides that Roundsaw takes her sawblade off [Wrath of Roundsaw Event: My Notes].

This might be approaching deep lore, but just to have one other thing to say in general besides "they are big creatures" I want to bring up the "newborn" Guardian monster, Guardian Soul. Newborn monsters are always some hazy shape in the color of the monster's symbol, which is also their Tetrid-association. The "My Notes" on Guardian Soul indicate she's incorporeal, and is looking for a place to fit in, after having "been born lost and angry". Her Burden says "Where should I go? Why am I asking that? I need to go somewhere? But where do I need to go? And why?" while her Blessing says "This feeling… I need to go protect something. Why does it need to be protected? And why do I have to do it? Because, I am the only one who can." It seems to me like the mutations Guardians undergo may not be random genetics in action, but perhaps a result of fusing together with a spirit that feels a duty to guard somewhere, although I cannot cite anything in game that says this is definitely the case.

I guess while I'm on the subject of unusual Guardian monsters, Ruby, who is actually made of Tetrid motes and is only an honorary Guardian [Ruby: My Notes], has this to say about Frustration and its opposite: Burden: So this is the feeling of frustration? It feels very painful, but it can also be used as a fuel to take action and change the situation. So long as it's kept under control Be very careful with this one. Blessing: So this is the feeling of content? This is a wonderful feeling. It is the feeling of having everything you could ever hope for. At least for a moment. Many others have so much more than you, and yet they still can't feel this. You are very lucky.

For regular representatives of Guardians, I've selected Lila and Roundsaw.

Lila is an "avioc", a species that can be described as eyeballs with bat wings. She's very shy and easily spooked, but likes sweet fruit and can be befriended with some [Lila: My Notes]. She also has bad days where she's even more shy [Shy Lila: My Notes]. If I recall her event properly, Orange Tetrids taste like sweet fruit to her, so they're her favorite.

Roundsaw is a "meerstalk", which is a segmented reptile that lives all throughout The Pit [Saw Bloom Power Gift]. "She uses this rare and dangerous flower as a weapon and has quite the temper", which is why they call her Roundsaw [still the Saw Bloom Power Gift] "A severe lack of affection has caused her to explode into fits of rage" [Roundsaw: My Notes]. Fortunately, as mentioned earlier since she's the only Guardian I'm aware of to change appearance during events, she will put the saw bloom away and can be hugged once loved in the dreamscape.

Other guardians include a couple 4-legged mites, a spiky sandworm, a spiky lavaworm, and a tall plant. Maybe I should've discussed one of the mites considering the green one, Rendy, is basically a mascot for the game. Oh well, let's get some screenshots in here and call it a post.

Lila (What a cutie! So small it's easy to drop your combo if you move too much.)

Roundsaw (So fierce! That saw does extreme damage!)

Guardian Soul (Can't be touched! Still deals contact damage in dreams!)

[clockworksteel]

The Void Rains Upon Her Heart: Glass Flora

In terms of monster types, of course I want to talk about Glass Flora first. Again, this won't be deep lore and is mostly aimed at those not intending to play TVRUHH themselves, and sources will occasionally be listed in [].

The two and three tetrid gifts always provide a nice overview of what a monster is about so here goes: They're almost indistinguishable from regular plants until a piece is removed, at which point it instantly hardens into glass [Two Orange Bonus Gift]. Additionally, they grow eyeballs, usually inside of blooming flowers. The eyes are the only non-glass thing about the creature, and are what they use to absorb both sunlight and water, while the roots are used for movement [Three Orange Bonus Gift].

They're one of the three monster types that typically have a "zaranoid" (humanoid) form when conversing with the main characters, although with a scar near where a heart should be [The Heart of a Monster Dreamscape], although I'm not aware of any direct explanation for why, with that source only saying "I suspect the Glass Flora all have a form like this, but I've only caught glimpses of them". Pearl's event seems to show she buries her zaranoid form underground, only letting her tail out to look around, although even in the dreamscape her monstrous form has a zaranoid portion: she's the one glass flora that doesn't seem to change form at all for events. On the other hand, Vitrea, when meeting the primary main character "Her Heart", for the first time says "I'm not supposed to look like this. I'm supposed to look like a flower to you," but after some discussion says "I think it's okay to show you this form then," indicating that she has multiple forms and somehow changes between them. If it was a part of her rather than a form of her I'd expect it to be phrased differently, at least.

Besides maybe being able to change their shape, Glass Flora definitely have some control over what shape their glass becomes: "I think the Glass Flora can generate glass with sharp edges, but they never do. They always throw smooth glass pebbles at me when they are afraid. I don't think they ever intend to hurt anyone." [Glass Duo Bonus Gift]. Additionally, Kiwi canonically makes glass hearts and gives them out [Glass Trio Bonus Gift].

Before getting into a couple specific Glass Flora, I want to go over their associated emotion, but before that, I want to mention a few things that will be useful on the subject:

Burden Gifts, which are each associated with a monster and typically are the fears of the monster in first person. Mechanically, they're basically temporary curses.

Blessing Gifts, which are also associated with a monster and typically are how the monster feels after being loved, and often answer their previous fears directly. Mechanically, they're basically temporary buffs.

The monster entry's "My Notes" which seem to be written by one of the main characters

Gem Monsters, which don't seem to experience fear the way other monsters do, but instead muse about the emotion itself and its opposite in their burden/blessing.

Orange, as mentioned in my previous post over a week ago, was the color of insecurity. To elaborate, here are some of the game's comments on the emotion: "So this is the feeling of insecurity? As if you are not enough. As if you could lose everything at any moment. It causes you to grab anything dear to you and grip it tightly. You have not been convinced that you are always enough, no matter how many times you hear it. Is that why you share love with others so easily? So they don't feel like you do?" [Citrine Burden Gift].

And for its opposite: "So this is the feeling of confidence? It makes you feel strong. Like you can handle greater risks. You took a huge risk by being vulnerable with others, but you also gained so much. You now have so many loved ones to count on. Everything gets a little easier every time you gain a new one." [Citrine Blessing Gift].

As for regular representatives of the Glass Flora, here are a couple of burden quotes from them: Momo: "Keep her away from me! I don't want her to see me. I'm so embarrassing to look at."

Alter Vitrea: "I want to talk to that Zaraden. No, she would just tell me to be quiet and break me. She saw me. I'll probably never get to see the stars again."

As for the corresponding blessings: Momo: "You really like our dance? I'm simply flourishing right now! Which part did you like the most?"

Alter Vitrea: "You really don't think I'm too much? You really want to hear me ramble on about the stars? Then I really want to show you something!"

And the corresponding "My Notes" from the collection entries of the monsters themselves, as written by one of the main characters: Momo: "This flower really loves to dance. She and her crew of backup flowers are absolutely amazing! 'Momo and the Murder Blossoms' are going to be so popular!"

Alter Vitrea: "I can't stand to see her like this. She would rather quietly mope to herself than bother anyone, but I'm always here to listen."

Getting away from directly quoting the game, Glass Flora have a range of interests. Besides Momo's dancing and Vitrea having her own observatory and love of the stars (and love of Glacea: they're lesbian plant girls), there's also Kiwi who enjoys a game legally distinct from Dungeons and Dragons, Dot who wants to determine how to perform the perfect hug, and Glacea who loves Vitrea back.

Anyway, that's about all I can think to mention, so let's get into some screenshots. I took them with censorship mode on, since I'm not sure how tumblr would like them otherwise. Doing so delayed the post as well, since the wiki for the game only has the uncensored sprites and I had to get the events myself, but also I'm closing in on the end of the achievements and don't have much reason to play story mode at the moment, where events actually happen.

[clockworksteel]

The Void Rains Upon Her Heart Lore... Part 1

Alright, so, before properly beginning "The Void Rains Upon Her Heart Lore for People Who Don't Play The Void Rains Upon Her Heart But Are Kinda Curious About The Thing Their Friend Has Been into Lately Part 1", I'll remark that it's a fun game that's playable as an entry-level shoot 'em up player, and that uncovering the lore one piece at a time from reading the Memories/Notes related to items in the Collection (and a few other sources) is part of the enjoyment. Perhaps given the premise of the post it doesn't really need a spoiler warning, but here there be spoilers (although maybe not that many in this specific post).

As much as I'd like to jump right into talking about specific monster types, I think I have to start with things like the Zaraden and Tetrids. The things which set up the plot and world a little. Also, I'll use [] when I'm giving a source for something, which will be done inconsistently. Like, some things are obvious enough to a player that I'm not gonna go looking for a source, but sometimes I happen to already know of one, and I'll also try to always source the weirder facts. I might also try to get some screenshots in later posts, but this one is text-only.

The Zaraden are the dominant race on the planet Eyeris, and can be considered basically the "humans" of the world, if humans could grow wings and had dream-magic. Zaraden live in towers [Distant Towers Dreamscape Memory], do questionable experiments [Heart Tank Power Gift Memory/The Garden's Blessing Dreamscape Memory], and, as a society, are super ableist. The player exclusively plays as outcasts, who mostly never developed wings good enough to fly with. The "wingless" are largely presumed to be useless, although it is possible to be considered "one of the useful ones" for a time [Full Radiant Bonus Gift Memory]. Due to their status, or perhaps other additional reasons, the main characters no longer live in the tower, and survive in a land sometimes known as "the pit", where "wingless" are left to die [Iiry Forest Dreamscape Memory].

Though the main characters have been mistreated, and are generally forced to hide wherever they can, they are still full of love and wish to share it with the monsters [Overlove Bonus Gift Memories]. They do so by sending out their hearts into dreamscapes and directly confronting the manifestations of the fears the monsters feel using love bullets [How to Love Tutorial]. These fear manifestations usually look like the monsters but don't have to [In My Dreams Dreamscape Memory]. While monsters actually fear Zaraden even more than a Zaraden can even feel fear [Fear Sense Power Gift Memory], once their fears are erased, they are capable of loving the Zaraden back, so whoever wrote in the Fear Sense memory "Monsters are evil creatures that will kill us if they get the chance" seems to have been incorrect.

At any rate, loving monsters happens to also be a great survival strategy for an outcast Zaraden looking to live among monsters and also walk outside. However, for some reason that will likely be explored in later updates (the game is in early access), the entire region (or world?) is under a daily memory wipe which only a select few can resist, so every day the monsters are back to being afraid. The main characters still love, though, for sharing a beautiful thing and having it last only a short time is better than never at all. Also, they do hope to get to the bottom of whatever is going on. Perhaps the answers lie in fulfilling their dreams or the monsters' dreams (earning achievements), for dreaming with a Zaraden has the power to change the world [Fulfilling Dreams Tutorial].

As for why the monsters are so afraid of Zaraden, I'm not aware of any direct mention of why that is. I can factually state that triangular things known as "Tetrids" are a power source in the world [Full Prism Bounty Gift Memory], that they're formed from negative emotions [Citations upcoming], that monsters produce way more of them than Zaraden do [Prism Flake Bounty Gift Memory], and that Zaraden are definitely farming them from monsters using some method that's considered dangerous [Full Prism Bounty Gift Memory, again]. While the player definitely extracts Tetrids by either destroying fears or via events that involve sharing even more love with a monster, so they may not exclusively result from negative emotions, they are mostly known for their negative sides.

I like to imagine that Zaraden society has something like a reverse Monsters Inc., where they regularly go out and scare monsters on purpose to farm more Tetrids, leading to deep-seated trauma in the monsters, but that's pure speculation and not supported in the text as far as I'm aware.

For a bit more on the Tetrids, there are 7 colors, the first 6 of which are associated with specific emotions:

Green - Embarrassment, Guilt, and Shame [One Green Bonus Gift Memory]

Red - Frustration and Anger [One Red Bonus Gift Memory]

Yellow - Denial [One Yellow Bonus Gift Memory]

Blue - Stress and Anxiety [One Blue Bonus Gift Memory]

Orange - Insecurity and Instability [One Orange Bonus Gift Memory]

Purple - Loneliness [One Purple Bonus Gift Memory]

Radiant (rainbow) - Composed of all other colors together, although this process happens "at the molecular level" and is not something the player can just voluntarily mix together at any time [Prism Shard Bounty Gift Memory]. There is a garden which can make them from the other 6 Tetrids, but it's fairly inefficient [The Garden's Blessing Dreamscape Memory].

Each color of Tetrids are associated with different monster types, but I'll definitely get more into that later.

Also, partial Tetrids are called Motes. I didn't really have a good place to mention this. It takes 2048 Motes to make a Tetrid. The developer seems to like that specific power of 2. 1/2048 is also the approximate rate at which "Wingless" are born [Wingless Power Gift Memory].

Finally, for something that's more of a fun fact than useful to know for understanding the world, Tetrids cause different sensory experiences for everyone [Cool Tetrids Bonus Gift Memory], but usually do something related to either the listed emotions or their opposite. For a specific example, one Zaraden found that Blue Tetrids smell like mint to them, which calms their anxiety [Blue Ore Bounty Gift Memory].

[clockworksteel]

I think if I was a monster in the world of The Void Rains Upon Her Heart, I'd be a Glass Flora.

Sure, the glyph monsters are cool, but I'm somehow insecure enough to think that, on the website where people routinely say they want to hear friends infodump about things, nobody actually wants to hear me talk about a cool shoot 'em up roguelite with lesbian monster girls that have mental health problems. And to be clear, insecurity is kinda the Glass Flora's thing.

I've played 92 hours in 5 weeks and written around 2k words about the world in case I want to make an OC, because of a post about how important it is to roleplay with your friends, then just stopped working on the text post because I couldn't imagine taking anyone's time with it. I mean, maybe I never even make an OC. What then?

[clockworksteel]

THEY'A TRIMMED THE HERBS!

Source

[clockworksteel]

all these retro style games that are like "NO tutorials NO handholding" apparently forgot about the little books that used to come with your game that detailed all the mechanics, controls, special moves, lore, maps, collectables, means of unlocking additional content, character bios, etc

[clockworksteel]

Well, quarter of the way through the year. Might as well review how the goals are doing.

Overall, despite the lack of any notable bad events, it was kinda a rough start. Too many appointments, perhaps. There's my housemate's ongoing medical issues (probably some sort of appointment every 1-2 weeks on average so far this year, plus trips to the pharmacy), my vehicle safety inspection came due in February, did taxes, had my own doctor appointment, there were dentist appointments that didn't actually happen, plus of course the worse end of daylight savings happens in the first quarter.

Anyway, the goals:

1: Have some sort of exercise habit again

Honestly, nothing to comment on here. I haven't even made plans.

2: Take care of at least one longstanding thing in the house

I put the auto-closer on the back door, although without the chain that it kinda also needs to deal with the wind. Still, reasonable progress on an unambitious goal. Should've probably made it, like, 2-3 tasks. I'd like to get the water heater replaced in the next few months.

3: Clear the stacks of papers from my desk

I've done a couple sessions of cleaning the papers a little, just looking through for anything that was an obvious trash/shred. Mail has come in too, but I think the stacks are overall lower. Still, need to step it up.

4: Make some more progress on gender stuff

Not much concrete progress here. I haven't really sat down and just thought about things at all. (Also there's been a thing that's been bothering me about my parents and religion since my last visit on Christmas break which has kinda consumed my idle thoughts a bit. May need to try to put it all into words at some point.)

Still, I've made notes of various stray thoughts, events, and dreams as relevant. That's resulted in 15 distinct notes so far this year. I won't be sharing all of them in detail.

I think the most meaningful one is that, after earning the Challenge Enthusiasts goal "Void Given Focus" I thought that would be really cool as a gender. And you know what? When I'm gaming, that's what I am. I don't think it applies when not gaming though. So I guess that's just the "Clyceer" gender. They/them pronouns for that still.

The other ones are some variation on "sure wish I was trans", notes about dreams, and also I have another dress now.

5: Earn at least 100 more Challenge Enthusiasts points

I thought this was going to be a whole-year goal, I already have earned 110 points. Perhaps my neglect of other things hasn't entirely been due to exhaustion, but also a lot of these were just done on my weekly Saturday streams.

I'll probably keep going for more points, but may slow down the off-camera stuff. My full notes also include the start times, but here's just the points.

Jan 23: Ittle Dew got a 5 point objective that I'd already completed (won't count for goal, but is a point gain, technically noticed on Jan 29)

Feb 4: Achieved Lone Fungus "Spores and Spells" objective (10 points)

Feb 5: Achieved the Blasphemous' Miracle of Penance (10 points)

Feb 7: Achieved FTL's Federation Victory (15 points)

Feb 10: Achieved Hollow Knight's Void Given Focus (30 points)

Mar 2: Achieved Patch Quest's Monster Hunter (5 points)

Mar 9: Achieved Haiku, the Robot's Anti-Corruption Protocol (15 points)

Mar 23: Achieved ZeroRanger Grapefruit Smasher (15 points)

Mar 23: Cyber Hook's Retrowave Traceur (10 points, and my first First Person points) Full Challenge Enthusiasts profile: https://cedb.me/user/9f1f4644-b3d3-40b7-a348-fb9ce59222c4

6: Finish Factorio and at least one other game that I haven't played in over 4 months

Yeah, the other video game-related goal is done already too. Should probably throw in Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair sometime this year. It's a Challenge Enthusiasts goal, and all I need to do is beat the titular Impossible Lair with the completed bee shield.

Jan 18: Finished Hue, which hadn't been played since May 27 2023

Jan 25: Finished Factorio

Feb 18: Started Psychonauts 2: I'd never started it, but bought it long ago enough that I'm writing it. Probably will take a while because it's a video playthrough, but is basically guaranteed to finish now.

Unrelated to any start of year goal, I've also taken up interest in the Super Mario Maker Team 0%, and have started helping out with Super Mario Maker 2. I've beaten 13 levels from 2020 so far this year. Not any that were particularly impressive, but cleaning up the mere Expert levels and kinda garbage Super Expert levels frees up time for the good players to grind the truly tough ones.

[clockworksteel]

For those unaware, Super Mario Maker for the Wii U disabled uploading levels in March of 2021, and is shutting down its servers entirely in April of this year. I don't know if there's a good estimate on how many levels have been created in SMM's lifetime, but in 2016 Nintendo reported about 7.5 million levels created by players, so the number is High.

In the meantime there is a community dedicated to taking every level that has yet to be cleared for the first time, and clearing it. Some of these levels take 6-10 hours of attempts to beat, and some of them use obscure glitches that no one else has discovered. Nevertheless, as of a few months ago there were less than 20,000 uncleared levels and currently there are less than 1,000.

Nothing remains but the most difficult platform experiences you can imagine. The community is confident they can "beat Super Mario Maker" but the deadline is fast approaching. It will be a tight race, and this is shaping up to be a potentially historic moment.

As of yesterday, all levels uploaded in 2016 have been cleared.

[clockworksteel]

Well, if one of my goals this year is to try to sort out my gender further, let's at least start with my current ideas.

Definition

I'd previously tried to define what a gender even is to me, (https://clockworksteel.tumblr.com/post/695061189249712128/i-guess-part-of-why-im-so-unsure-of-my-own-gender) over a year ago, but missed one important point when I said "If I had to try to define gender, I’d say it’s an analogy for what someone is like." That is, I didn't mention that my understanding of analogies is that they're good at explaining a limited part of something, but are never literally the thing. As is said in software development, "all abstractions are leaky abstractions".

That is, as soon as you get outside of what's intended by bringing up the analogy, it ceases to be useful. The bus analogy in Super Mario Bros speedrunning is great for explaining "frame rules" which result from code that takes a player to the next level every multiple of 12 frames if the current level has been beaten, and make it the case that going faster in a level only helps the end time if a player can catch the next earlier frame rule, like catching an earlier bus. The bus analogy in Super Mario Bros speedrunning is bad for explaining that frame rules aren't randomly late or early, and that there's no other way to move to the next level so you have to wait (there's no 'car' of going to the next level because you're not just trying to traverse physical space). Computer code isn't a bus so it will be unlike a bus in some ways.

Similarly, the analogy of "what if you had to pay spoons to do things?" is great for explaining that there is a lasting loss of energy that is just as permanent (at least for the day) as giving up a physical object. You might even be able to extend the analogy by thinking about spoons dropping out of pockets sometimes or something like might happen with a physical object you're carrying more than 10 of. It's less good for explaining that you can't just buy more energy whenever you run out.

So I'm still at "A gender is whatever someone intends it to be". It might include one's aesthetic, one's personality, one's role in a relationship, or none of those things. However, people aren't personifications of words, so something will always be missing even if the most fitting gender possible is chosen. This way of looking at things can provide useful results in separating gender from sex and in understanding that xenogenders mean something. However, this way of thinking definitely has some limits and is also certainly not how everyone looks at it. It's simply my best attempt for myself. The biggest limitation at the moment is that using it for my own gender would require already knowing exactly what I want to express. It doesn't provide any sort of framework for experimentation or enough of a theory to make predictions.

I'm not exactly sure how to resolve all that, but it's my understanding not everyone needs to define gender to determine theirs.

"Masks"

Stepping away from definitions for a moment, because they're not doing anything useful, I remembered seeing the idea that trying genders is like trying masks, and thought that it might help to take inventory of my "masks". Though I personify these in the descriptions a little, to be clear, I'm not a system. Also, I've never actually gone by half these names.

"Joseph": the default male/AGAB mask. It's still useful but isn't exactly fun. Physically presents in casual clothes with little care put into appearance, and will wear formal clothes when necessary but doesn't like it.

"Clyceer" and other internet names: The gamer mask. They/them or he/him pronouns (some bios only list they/them, but it's inconsistent and the changes were generally done quietly so he/him is still accepted). Borrows a physical form from the previous active mask but would prefer not to have one. Simply plays games and is cool while doing it (ideally). Can be rather cold to things that aren't real people, but won't really go out of their way to be mean to fictional beings either.

"Alice": The feminine mask. Used privately from Sept 2022 to Nov 2022. I felt more motivated with this one, but it seems to require more belief in possibility than I've had for a long time. Her ideal self is probably being the stereotypical healer in a fantasy world: not necessarily in the spotlight, but useful and kind. It feels like with this one appearance is more important, but the ideal is also unreachable while maintaining the other masks. For one, she's afraid that, as the head of household, there could be a rather awkward encounter if someone were to come to the door. Would like a couple more dresses, a purse, and a necklace anyway, though. Also really misses having hair long enough for hair clips, but mom wanted to cut it while I was visiting for Christmas and decided on a buzz cut in the dead of winter.

"Kayra": A gender neutral mask that may have been an attempt at making "Alice" not require as much belief in possibility. Tries to be a little feminine, but isn't willing to take things quite as far. Frequently wears a grey t-shirt dress with sweat pants, but not the flower-print lounge dress.

Other Notes

I've also been writing any notable gender-related thoughts/events I've had over the last month and kept them with my new year's goal notes. I don't think I'll share them all publicly (interested mutuals who have me on Discord can ask there), but here are a couple: -Jan 17: Remarked to someone that, while I have a lot of dreams where I get anxious about my parents finding out I have dresses, I don't have many about just enjoying gender. That does match my experience in real life though: Haven't been a gender enjoyer lately. -Jan 24: Thought that my trans situation is kinda like playing Murder Trivia Party and you know the answer but don't have the finger that lets you choose it anymore, so I'm just going with the closest option I can still choose in case I was wrong anyway. I've never even played Murder Trivia Party. Not entirely sure why the situation feels like that.

Maybe what I need now is to RP another lady. And to voice train in case the RP group ever does a voice call.

[clockworksteel]

End of the year evaluation/new goals

Well, it's the end of the year again. Honestly, it's been a rough one. There was work stress associated with being trained on a software framework that was new to me (React) in a language I've done little in (Javascript), there was a Return to Office policy at work, and my housemate's health issues resulted in a number of emergency trips, some of which required either pickup or dropoff at 1 AM. Much vacation time was burned either recovering or actually making trips to doctors and the ER. Plus there were all the things that I already mentioned happened in January like needing to maintain my water heater and get a warranty repair done on a recliner.

Still, despite the quality of the year, some progress was made on some things. Looking at last year's post on goals there were 5 things I mentioned, although one was just "Skincare?". To briefly summarize, the others were:

Continue considering gender

Learn to cook

Add physical therapy exercises to my exercise

Improve my Youtube audio

In terms of gender stuff, this the year I first tried on a dress (no image in that post, and also I now own two), and also the year I started getting permanent hair removal done (although electrolysis is a slow process and in 4 months of sessions we're still just on the lower part of the neck). I've also had a number of dreams in which I'm transfem which is interesting. They seem to come in bursts. I had 3 in the first two weeks of this month, actually. I haven't made as much progress as I'd like, but this certainly wasn't neglected, despite never feeling like I reclaimed the spirit of possibility like I had near the end of 2022.

As far as cooking, we actually did Hello Fresh for the full duration of a discout code, with me being the primary thing-doer once a week. I certainly relied a lot on my housemate's expertise even though the days were theoretically "mine", but I feel like even just practicing some knife skills was valuable for cooking confidence. Plus I cooked chicken without poisoning anyone. There are currently plans for me to continue cooking on Saturdays (as in actually cooking at least one thing: I also handle the Friday and Sunday meals but it's all frozen stuff). Since my housemate is on a lower sodium diet (probably good for me too), actually cooking things sort of has to be a habit for at least some of the days.

Regarding exercise, this is probably the one area I got worse. I am at least making sure to do some of my old physical therapy exercises just enough that it feels like my shoulder isn't getting worse, but the entire rest of my exercise routine dropped off. It's been an exhausting year, and the way the electrolysis appointments routinely wipe out a few hours every Saturday isn't helping with finding time for things.

On the subject of my Youtube videos' audio I didn't do much, but it wasn't that much of a problem. I think my volume levels between the game sound and the microphone sound have been generally better balanced this year than in the past. That's pretty much all I wanted.

For skincare… well, I do more than last year, but don't have much of a routine. An area that could be improved but honestly I just don't think I care that much and this will not be a goal for next year.

Besides the goals I wrote out last year, some other accomplishments of varying sizes: -Actually got my heating system inspected like I should have been doing routinely -Fixed the slow-draining issue in the shower drain -Got back into Challenge Enthusiasts and earned a little over 200 challenge points, putting me not only in the C ranking but well on my way to B -Beat New Game Plus 100 in Rogue Legacy 2 as well as earned a gold trophy in its True Rogue mode

For next year, let's call these the goals:

Have some sort of exercise habit again, ideally with at least one cardio day and at least one physical therapy stuff day

Take care of at least one longstanding thing in the house: the porch needs painted, the attic could use some blinds to keep the sun out in the summer (probably more effective than insulating, and I already bought the blinds), and the back door could use a new auto-closer (again, already bought)

Clear the stacks of papers from my desk without simply increasing the amount of papers in my room (that is, things should be filed in the cabinet or disposed of)

Make some more progress on gender stuff, like try a couple more new things or at least spend some time seriously considering things

Earn at least 100 more Challenge Enthusiasts points

Finish Factorio and at least one other game that I haven't played in over 4 months

A longer numbered list than last year but two of them are "play video games" goals. It's more like both this list and last year's had a length of 4.

At any rate, hopefully we all have better luck next year.