cloudllessrain

[cloudllessrain]

#47_

Skys in my new home,

Temporary maybe,

But it's mine for this time.

Clouds flying past blue and green sky.

Same animal shapes but

so different none the less.

Watching people pass through

my window, same but not.

Feeling the trees tall on me,

feeling them shuffle above me.

Smelling the air,

smells of cooking in culture form.

Trying to speak is scary,

I'm terrified,

What if I'm terribly bad.

Speaking still, it's my home now,

Everything will settle and rise in time.

My new adventure is here,

Open eyes, open ears, open heart.

Breathe and run.

[cloudllessrain]

#74_

I miss your hands wrapped around me,

I've never felt them on my skin

but your presence is in my bones.

Burning, longing, no words can show the beauty of the chaos in my chest.

Fire isn't scorching enough, I feel more,

More than anything, more than waterfalls hitting the low.

My blood seems to race and stop all at once,

I didn’t notice when my breathing got caught.

I feel you on my cheek, the warmth is there but your breath is far.

The flash in my eyes when I remember your scent that I've never drank before, but desperately crave oh so much more now.

Your skin pressed to my heart,

We're beating together now.

[cloudllessrain]

#77_

Your sight on me,

a black hole with forgotten waters.

Memories of future keep me locked in those eyes.

The current won't let me move aggenst the flow.

Are you a trap, or a way out?

[cloudllessrain]

#9_

You call my soul.

You pull at my soul's strings.

I move towards you in every exhale.

My mind keeps lying to me,

The dream is fading,

But your essence stays,

It's you and me woven in time,

In dimensions,

Exploring the universe on our night walk,

Smelling your perfume of passion and drive,

Hearing our eyes meeting in the clouds.

You're in my bones, in my DNA,

I'm in your dreams, in your shine.

We walk alone together,

We walk towards each other.

Our journey is timeless, an explosion of stars.

Debris won't slow us down.

Strength through breath.

[cloudllessrain]

#65_

Silence,

My friend and enemy.

I've known you so well,

So long we have been one.

You absorbed my faith,

Absorbed my darkest thoughts.

You witnessed my spark die,

You were there, when sun is out,

When room is dark.

My pain was shown in you,

but no one saw.

You keep it to yourself,

I was glad I had a friend, to explode into.

But you caged me in myself,

Made me blind to my voice.

Blind to my depth.

I honer your presence in me,

You're a diamond I carve with care.

But I have myself to create, to show.

Silence, thank you,

No more.

[cloudllessrain]

#73_

How can you see me exposed and stay,

How can you see me this bare and love.

I've always hidden my true laugh from the air.

I always thought it was too much,

Too loud, too real to hear.

My eyes, I couldn't keep them on the sun,

I wanted to so much,

But it burns when I try every time.

Eyes are dangerous for reading all,

I feel exposed and alive and whole.

That scares me like a ghost.

The ghost of lifetimes coming home to my soul, reuniting severed links we've built over cloudless storms.

How could you see me exposed and stay,

how could you see me so bare and love more.

[cloudllessrain]

#71_

Electricity lines hanging off an orange tree.

Energy center flowing to all directions.

Tall orange heart adorned with sparks beating through the golden sap.

Through day light charging, empowering, that heart.

When the night comes,

It's a beacon of light to the forest life.

A single touch, a hug energizes,

bursting cells rushing the blood.

I traveled far to find you, my beautiful tree.

You bring memories back.

I'm here to recover my path,

Help me rebuild my sight,

Your bright orange speaks to my laugh.

Finding through your sweetest sap how to love my biter parts.

I feel your bark rough on my palm,

I feel you in my rough beating peace.

[cloudllessrain]

#70_

Desire, a dangerous game.

Hope is the top culprit.

Cultivating all your dreams into

one intense form.

Oh how I wanted to pour all my soul

into this, into you.

The feelings eat me alive,

and I let them, gladly, blindly.

I forgot my mind,

I forgotten how much power is in my heart.

I forgot my soul, let it drift to you.

It's mine, mine.

I created it, me,

Through unreachable roads,

Through swallowing mud,

Broke and rebuilt more times then I will ever admit.

Desire is sweet, so sweet, you want to let yourself drawn in it for life,

But I need air more.

I can't reach for your hand through candyed clouds.

I reach through my voice,

Clear and honest.

[cloudllessrain]

#68_

Sometimes the loudest moments

are the most quiet once.

Your presence next to me,

your eyes in front of me.

Thumb brushing over my skined bones.

I feel this in all of me, in every glance,

In every tiny move.

When we meet,

in that endless stare.

I know its gonna be deafening.

Bursts of lava everywhere,

We were dormant in ourselves for so long.

Too long and viscerally unbearable.

Searching for our time to remember again.

To fall completle in the loudest call.

No one will hear a thing,

The pin will scream on impact.

But i hurt from the burst of sound,

I waited for this lifetimes.

[cloudllessrain]

#69_

Shining breeze,

Reflection of leaves on the ground,

Movement, but I'm so still now.

I feel the whole universe in me now.

Do you feel it too, there,

Under the trees, under the damp sky.

I feel that breath we had for centuries

passing through my hair,

Reminding me of your scent.

How we held so close,

close in open waters.

Look to our clouds, we fly in them at night.

Do you remember me?

Should I remind you again?

I'll hold your hand and say,

Here we are again, but this time we're all in.

All in the shining breeze.

Let's breath.

[cloudllessrain]

#13_

Floating between sky and earth, Stranded in midair, In the in between. Colors spilling but staying around. Not falling, Not flying, Being drawn out, piece by piece. Petals detaching but still around. Nothing is changing, but my world is upside down. Moving, motion comes slowly, discovering the flow around. The breeze showers me with blossom smell. Green is orange and red, Pink in the corners. Tasting air in the clouds, Oh how delicious it is being formed.

[cloudllessrain]

#19_

Will My reflection heart me today,

Would it see me in myself.

Would the tears stream from

my cloudfull eyes.

Will I glance again in a moment,

to just check,

maybe i saw wrong.

Lying to my mind.

Lying long and hard.

Whispers of grossness flood my gut.

I'm running with all my might,

Trying to outrun soul death once again.

[cloudllessrain]

#28_

Looking in your eyes and seeing myself.

Fear of confronting my mirror.

Seeing the shine, seeing the drops,

bottomless sight has opened in your eyes.

The sacred desire to look, knowing i'll freez in stone to the sight of myself.

My mirror in soul form,

my rain in cloudless skies.

You are screams, you are blessings in my bottomless eyes.

Am I your scary light?

Are my eyes your mindless sky?

[cloudllessrain]

#15_

The pull is deep and strong.

I never understood the sparkling eyes when they talked with loud hands.

My mind works too much,

My body doesn't let me be,

Enjoy, be dumb, be silly, be raw.

I'm too robotic it hearts my breathe.

I wished, like a heartless clown,

to be able to love,

adore with no regret.

Let myself dance with the Mirror.

And I fell,

like a sudden rip in my concessions,

I became.

not me,

but with you.

Then I found,

I painted you with my voice.

I painted you in my colors that you painted me.

I saw it then,

I saw it with the stars in your sparkling eyes.

[cloudllessrain]

#30_

Longing for the peace i once knew,

In another existence it felt like home,

Felt like a safe space for dreamland to sprout,

My core is burning in deep violet reds.

Where are my roots now?

Detached from myself,

Searching in fairy land,

Turning doom castle upside down,

Where are you home?

Where should I bury myself to flower in my heaven.

I'll go through lava and icebergs to feel my heart open with melody.

Show me the way, show me the faces I'll wear,

The Mirror is the portal I'll go through,

What shades will I encounter,

I'll get to my green realm,

no matter the clouds.

[cloudllessrain]

#35_

Laying in a field of grass,

Tall as my stretched arms.

The smell of earth underneath my hair.

Hearing winds whistle and weasel in between green grass hairs.

Spiraling clouds moving along,

Maybe some gray in the white flow.

Shining clouds on my face.

Searching for a frog and a duck in the passing stream of seasons.

Building my garden in my magic mind.

Construction in process, do not pass.

Placing a phrase, a letter or two,

Curating accent colors for my boldness to pop through.

Adjusting the tone, rhythm and clues.

Making a safe space to create chaos anew.

Fields of tall wild flowers with grass too,

Searching for my fruits to pick and cartoon.

Singing with the wind,

to attract dragonflies.

Night shimmer adds so much,

My breath shines on darkened fallen leaves.

I'm in my garden walking in a spiral up and left, beyond and under your head.

Brushing hands on wet lightless dawn days,

I'm free, weightless and aware.

[cloudllessrain]

#38_

Pain in full,

Attacks in every muscle.

The pain of guilt about pain.

Having to get up even when the stars aren't the ones you want to see.

Shame of not preforming,

Shame for being lost for a day.

Pain in all for being alive.

Fighting internally for the right answer,

for the right action.

Begging for the insight,

why and what do i do now?

Do i let the hert lead, explore it,

Let it breath life into itself.

Do I conform to expectations?

Will I have to collapse to decide,

Will the world collapse around me to understand?

Shame is such a dominant leader.

I will rule next, no more tears for pain I didn't cause.