cloudy-daydreams

[cloudy-daydreams]

[cloudy-daydreams]

[cloudy-daydreams]

I relied on romantic maladaptive daydreaming for survival as a child, and have been love sick ever since

[cloudy-daydreams]

the video you sent has given me an incredible boner, but sadly i am starting to not care about anything anymore

[cloudy-daydreams]

stop thinking. thinking is the happiness killer.

[cloudy-daydreams]

[cloudy-daydreams]

Tumbleweed needs everyone to know that I am his most cruel and heartless mother for decreasing the amount of food he gets due to him gaining a third again his body weight over the last year no that is not all fur Tumbleweed you are shaped like a pregnant sheep!

He has spent much of the day stomping from room to room while yelling his immense displeasure.

[cloudy-daydreams]

— Fiona Apple

[cloudy-daydreams]

"people show their true colours in life threatening situations" no, they show you what they act like when they're mortally terrified, an emotion notorious for literally turning your entire brain off to the point where people who go into those situations as a profession need to be literally trained on how to not have that happen

[cloudy-daydreams]

[cloudy-daydreams]

[cloudy-daydreams]

There’s six guys who live in this flat and all they do all day is play WoW and watch movies. Waking up at 2pm every day and there’s always just someone asleep on the bed near all the multimonitor computer setups. There’s always music playing and it feels like a recovery day every day, padding around blearily in pyjamas or underwear. Old hoodies from defunct school teams. They’ve got this system where they’re selling their excess computing power to companies and hosting all this warez, and they’re stealing the internet from the business next door anyway and getting welfare on top of all that. They’re self sufficient and never go outdoors except to buy more fast food, and even then only in the dark. But then one of them wakes up dead some heavy afternoon. He’s just dead and they don’t know why but maybe the floor covered in fast food wrappings is a clue. They don’t want to tell the cops because of the purgatory den they live in and the illegality that supports it, and as far as they know he never had any actual parents. So it’s trouble. It’s taking a long trip out to the forest and thinking about how stars are so far away for the first time in a long time. It’s sweating in the cold air and digging a hole all night with your brand new shovels to leave him alone in. And it’s a long few days cracking all his passwords to keep his identity and associated payments persisting. Until the rhythm of waking up every day at 2pm to play WoW for nine hours and half watch a movie on your other monitor takes over again. It’s the same as it ever was except now there’s a room no one ever goes in.

[cloudy-daydreams]

Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

[cloudy-daydreams]

i want to make friends or have a partner, but i don't know how to take the first step

[cloudy-daydreams]

rejection sensitivity is so fucking lame. like boo hoo look at me i felt mildly ignored for 30 seconds and already started planning my own funeral liKE BITCH CHILL it was never that serious

[cloudy-daydreams]

the epic highs and tragic lows of literally just being in my head on a perfectly normal day

[cloudy-daydreams]

you cant ever let yourself forget what it felt like to be 15. how adults treated you. being treated without a shred of respect because people think youre too young to have thoughts and feelings of your own. the lack of autonomy. you cant ever forget that because if you do you might become the kind of adult who treats kids like theyre not people