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cluelessgirlthinking · 2 years

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Hasan Piker Is Not Your Friend (White Men Are The Enemy, Always)

I've never liked Hasan Piker. I wasn't sure what it was, but something about the way he sets up his YouTube content has always rubbed me the wrong way. While he is a self-proclaimed leftist, with views on most topics that I actually agree with, there's always been something off about him and people like him who are prominent on LeftTube. I didn't know if it was his cringey middle-school humor, or the way he acts like a thirteen-year old prepubescent boy on camera, or how superficial his understanding on a lot of topics actually are but something about him just didn't sit right with me. It wasn't until several black creators I follow on Tik-Tok pointed out his misogynoir towards black conservative women that the puzzle pieces all clicked into place for me. Hasan Piker, and other Twitch Youtubers like him, are horribly sexist men who have made a career off calling out misogyny in the online Right while refusing to call it out in their base camps.

Hasan Piker, Vaush, and other white male Leftists are grifters, trying to capitalize on the Left by putting out anti-cringe videos + takedowns of "braindead" conservatives. While they claim to be progressive leftists, and to be fair to them, they probably are some of the most liberal white men on the internet, none of them have actually done the work to deconstruct their male privilege nor have they deconstructed their sexist attitudes towards women. Vaush is a bigger offender at this, because he seems to truly believe that his viewpoints are always correct, but Piker is the more insidious offender of the two. At least we know that Vaush used to be on the alt-right side of youtube, but Hasan Piker has never publicly been on the "wrong side" of history and that's what makes his transgressions even more outrageous. Why, you may ask? Because he is legitimizing the propaganda campaign against Amber Heard and as such, actively setting back victim rights fifty years through his public support of a known abuser.

If you watch his coverage on this trial, you can immediately tell he is uneducated on this particular topic. His video titled "The Johnny Depp Amber Heard Trial is INSANE" involves him outright lying about the facts of this case and its significance to women's rights and abuse rights movements. Not even a minute into the video, he has claimed that it's common knowledge that Heard "fucked this dude up" and "took advantage of him when he was drunk and shit," while taking the lies that Depp has said about Heard cutting his finger off and shitting the bed as a prank as absolute truth. I've already written on the massive propaganda campaign being pushed forward by Johnny Truthers but Piker's insistence that ONE recording of Amber specifying the difference between hitting vs punching and then telling Johnny in his response that "it was a fair fight" to think about how he's bigger and stronger than her and she was in fear of her life somehow "complicates" things despite the MOUNTAIN of evidence that was provided that proved he abused her in the UK Trial is his sexism at work. Despite the fact that none of the testimony in the US Trial is new evidence, and despite all the counter-evidence that Heard gave in 2020, Hasan Piker is convinced that Heard is the bad guy in the situation.

And to that, I have to ask, how the fuck can you explain away three years of text messages, photos, and physical evidence that Depp was, in fact, abusing her because of ONE recording? It's because none of these men are actual allies to women, they just want to have the title of being a feminist to increase their social capital. If Hasan Piker gave a fuck about domestic violence victims, he would know that the only person who is acting like an abuser in this court case is, in fact, Johnny Depp. Amber has always been honest about the events in their relationship, with photographic evidence and witness statements that prove her side of the story. Despite the fact that Amber has correctly dated photographs of the bruises he left on her, despite the text messages Depp sent to her own parents admitting that he's been abusive to her, despite the fact that Depp has lied over EIGHTY times under oath already, Hasan Piker is willing to stay ignorant to the actual evidence in this case in order to support his belief that sometimes women lie about abuse for fame and money. Shame on him.

If Piker managed to do the slightest bit of research, he would have seen that multiple witnesses were caught lying on the stand for Depp. One witness admitted to Waldman, Depp's American lawyer, pressuring her to change her testimony and another witness claimed that he took a photo of Depp's "supposed" injuries when metadata confirmed the photo was taken a year prior to the incident at hand, at which point, the witness admitted the photo was given to him by Waldman. Again, Piker's defense of Depp seems to be based on just the lying words of Depp himself whereas Amber's story is validated by contemporaneous evidence. In fact, none of the evidence that Amber has provided has been proven to have been altered or changed in any way whereas Depp's team has tried to falsify the records multiple times. Why, if an abuse victim had all this physical evidence, would they stoop to something like pressuring witnesses to lie when they could simply just... tell the truth? Again, these are things that anyone who's actually dedicated to "doing the work" would have asked about this case. Well, actually, any abuse advocate would have asked the question "why would an abuse victim sue their abuser for defamation of character when the article is factually accurate" but we've already established that Hasan Piker doesn't give a fuck about abuse. He wants to capitalize on the Left to make himself richer, but beyond that, he doesn't care about actually helping real victims of abuse and sexual violence get the justice they deserve.

Let's not even mention the fact that in this current trial alone, Depp has used abuser tactics like hiring a medical professional to diagnose your ex-wife with a "crazy" disorder so that people think her scars are self-inflicted instead of proof that what Amber said happened actually happened. Let's not even mention the fact that these men are so convinced that make-up cannot cover abuse marks that they take those photos of her on James Corden as "proof" she's making it all up (despite numerous photographic evidence that was confirmed to be accurate via metadata reports) or that her confidential testimony in 2020 of being sexually assaulted with a liquor bottle resembles a scene in a movie they saw once, so, obviously, she is making it all up for attention (despite the fact that rape via inanimate object is actually very common and many victims have been violated in such a way). Let's not mention how Depp has literally lied over eighty times under oath, already, and let's not discuss how there are no text messages, no doctor's notes, no eyewitnesses besides the paid ones on his security team that can collaborate this idea that they were "mutually abusive" or even that, Depp never hit Heard and in fact is the victim in all of this.

Let's talk about, instead, of how in the same "damning" recording that Depp has, he can be heard trying to convince Amber to stay married to him, while also threatening her that it won't go well for her if she goes to court + trying to convince her that he never stated that she was making this up for a "premature" financial resolution (aka trying to gaslight Amber). Let's talk about, how in that same recording, Amber can be heard telling him she doesn't want to hurt him, she doesn't want to take it to court because several people told her that it's the most "convincing case of domestic violence" they've seen documented, how she begs him to please not fly off the handle so much and to bring back the man she fell in love with. Let's then discuss how in 2017, they ended up settling out of court because of Depp's efforts to get her to drop the case as well as publishing a joint statement denying any sort of abuse by either party, and how he's stated that "this is the first time in six years he'll be able to tell his side of the story." Let's talk about how if an abuse victim had all that evidence all the way back in 2016, I doubt they would have tried to manipulate their partner into dropping the case. They might opt for, oh, I don't know, giving over their own evidence to the police and waiting for their day in court instead of suing their "abuser" over a factually accurate article written years after the fact. Do you seriously think Waldman would bother with a defamation suit if they had actual evidence of Depp being the victim? Please.

I hope white women in particular are taking a look at all the white men who have jumped out of the woodworks to become abuse advocates because of this trial. I want white women to understand that Hasan Piker was never your friend, and any leftist white man who claims to be an ally for woman is in fact your biggest opponent. It's not lost on me that Hasan is so willing to believe the words of MRAs and anti-feminists when it comes to this Depp case. It's because he has rape culture values baked in him that he refuses to accept and get rid of, the most obvious one being that sometimes women lie about abuse/rape to get "even" or destroy famous men/take their money. This type of man, this type of thinking, is not our friend. Hasan Piker would have advocated against women owning property or getting the right to vote, because Hasan Piker doesn't actually care about changing anything. He just wants to capitalize on moral outrage without immediately being cancelled for having right-wing views. It's why his content is reminiscent of the anti-cringe compilations that dominated YouTube from 2012-2016, and why his audience eats it up, despite his jokes being lame and repetitive because none of these white men actually changed their political views on anything. They just were smart enough to realize that being a republican gets you no pussy in this day and age.

These white men don't actually think that women are currently being oppressed, on a systemic level. It's why Vaush feels comfortable enough to use ironic sexism as a punchline, because all these white men think that women (especially white women) are equal to men in American society. They view sexism as a moral failing, rather than a tool of socialization that allows white men to hold their power at the top. Because they love their mothers, and they recognize that abortion is healthcare, they believe that makes them a feminist or an ally to women. It doesn't. The same way white people individually "not" being racist doesn't actually solve the issue of racism, individual men "not" being sexist doesn't actually do shit for women's liberation. White women, especially outspoken feminists, are still being made to feel inferior to white men, are still being critiqued for speaking out about sexism they deal with because other groups have it worse. Vaush thinks it's okay to be sexist towards JK Rowling because she's a "bad" woman, with "bad" beliefs and refusing to listen to any well-deserved critique to the contrary. It's why Hasan thinks it's okay to dehumanize and harass women like Candice Owens, for being a "bad black woman." It's why they think MRAs are telling the truth about the Heard case, because the words of men (especially white men) will always matter more to them than anyone else.

Some of these white men have even used intersectionality as a way to quiet white women from speaking out against them. They have weaponized the plight of black women to critique white women who try to hold them accountable. They throw out accusations like "this is white feminism" and the "wage gap only exists because of racism" and "you don't actually care about male victims of domestic abuse" in an effort to silence the voices of white women. While I am unable to speak from any other perspective but my own, it seems like these white men love using racism as a gotcha for why white women cannot be oppressed in this country. White men like Vaush and Hasan are quicker to denounce racism than they will ever denounce sexism towards white women in particular. It's because they know that their position at the top rests solely on white women's docility and loyalty to the White Man, and they will never speak out against the White Patriarchy until us white women have collectively decided we've had enough.

Have we had enough yet?

#social justice #think piece #opinion #hasan piker #white men are the enemy

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cluelessgirlthinking · 2 years

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Taylor Swift and The Court of Public Opinion

The most consistent thing in my life has always been my love for Taylor Swift. I was eleven when Love Story dropped and from the moment I saw her on that balcony in summer air, I was hooked. Every single Taylor Swift era, album, song has felt relatable to whatever I was going through when it dropped. Taylor herself has said that it feels like we grew up together (her and her fans) and it's why she is my favorite artist, even over a decade later. I've been a Taylor Swift fan for thirteen years and in that time, I've seen firsthand how she's been abused at the hands of the court of public opinion. From the constant slut-shaming, to the minimization of her influence in the music industry because of the content of her music, to the endless body-shaming she endured during the height of her eating disorder, the media has never been kind to Taylor.

While the media has consistently demonized Taylor Swift throughout the entirety of her career, no narrative has been more prevalent or damaging than the one surrounding Taylor's dating life. For as long as I have loved Taylor and her music, I have heard countless jokes and remarks about how many men Taylor has dated. For those of you not keeping track, that's thirteen years. I've been a fan of Taylor since her Fearless era and this specific narrative has been around for at least that long. For thirteen years, Taylor Swift and man-eater have been synonymous for the general public.

While I personally do not believe "sluts" exist, I can recognize the prevalence of slut-shaming in our society. But, regardless of whether or not you believe in the existence of "sluts," Taylor Swift is not, has not, and will never fit into the concept of a "slut." At the conception of this false narrative, Taylor Swift was eighteen years old. Taylor Swift, at eighteen years old, had ONE celebrity ex and one unnamed ex who seems to be the subject of her debut album. Taylor Swift, when fearless was dropped in November of 2008, had two exes. Between the release of Fearless and Speak Now, Taylor would add two more exes to her dating history. For the mathematically challenged, that is a grand total of FOUR exes total.

No matter which way you analyze it, Taylor Swift was never a "slut." At the conception of the slut narrative given to Taylor, her dating history consisted of one cheating redneck, one cheating celebrity who broke up with her over the phone, one good guy that she regretted breaking up with, and one thirty-something year old creep dating a nineteen year old. If this is considered a "slut," well, that just proves that "slut" is just a word used to police a woman's sexuality. So why did Taylor have the misfortune of being labelled a man-eater, a label she hasn't managed to get rid of even thirteen years later?

The answer is simple. Taylor Swift would not shut the fuck up about the wrong-doings of teenage heart-throbs like Joe Jonas and John Meyer. Taylor Swift has been refreshingly honest from the start of her music career; she has never lied about any part of her life to the general public. She has opened her private life to constant analysis, critique, and judgment through her songwriting. The one thing I adore about her discography is her determination to tell the truth as she experienced it through her songs. She told the truth through songs like "forever and always," "dear john," "should've said no," and the general public could not stand her for it.

She was not afraid to write scathing songs about douchebags who cheat on her and she wasn't afraid to point fingers and drop names. She called out the shitty behavior of people, no, of men, who were adored by the public. Instead of the public criticizing John Meyer for emotionally manipulating a literal teenager, the public put all the blame on Taylor and her "man-eating ways." It was a way to silence her, to minimize her complaints of her treatment by these celebrity males, to discredit her valid criticisms of their behavior. If there is one thing society hates, it's a woman who knows she's been wronged and who won't shut the fuck up about it.

Taylor Swift, at the ripe age of nineteen, wrote a song called "Dear John" in which she points out all the ways this older mystery man emotionally manipulated (some could even argue emotionally abused) her. Never naming names, she explains away the title as a reference to the "Dear John" letters women would write to their army boyfriends to break-up with them. However, her very public relationship with John Meyer, and the only ex of hers to share a name with the song title made it obvious to anyone with half a brain cell who the subject of the song was. And what did the public do instead of asking a thirty-one year old male what the fuck he was doing, manipulating a nineteen year old the way he did? They called Taylor Swift a slut and discredited her valid criticism of the way she was treated by this male who was 12 years her senior. Keep in mind, this is the same John Meyer who, in 2018, would admit to having slept with around five HUNDRED women.

And thus, the narrative of Taylor the Slut was born. Every guy she dated from then on was now evidence of her sluttiness. When she sued that DJ for sexually assaulting her, the conversation centered around her outfit, her dating history, and whether or not he actually assaulted her or if she was "playing victim" yet again. After all, everybody knows sluts cannot be sexually assaulted, so she had to be lying. Every single time Taylor spoke up about mistreated, either in interviews or through her songs, the court of public opinion swiftly replied "Shut up, slut. Nobody cares."

It was the court's way of silencing a woman who wouldn't shut the fuck up. Every song she released angered the general public; why wasn't this slut shutting the fuck up? Why didn't she get the memo that nobody cared about how men were mistreating her whore self? If she wanted to be respected, she shouldn't have chosen to be such a whore. Why won't this slut take any responsibility for being cheated on, for being used/manipulated, for dating narcissists, for getting her ass grabbed at a radio event?

Every single joke aimed at Taylor's dating life was never made with good intentions. Every single meme that floated around the internet that revolved in shaming Taylor for being a "slut" was in fact an attempt by the court of public opinion to get an out-spoken woman to shut the fuck up about the ways she was being mistreated, especially if the people mistreating her were famous males that the public loved. Every single joke was an attempt to blame Taylor for being mistreated in her relationships, for being manipulated, for being emotionally traumatized by men the general public had deemed Respectable or even desirable all in an effort to get her to shut. the. fuck. up.

Even now, thirteen years later, these jokes were never accurate, witty, or funny. Because they were never jokes to begin with. Instead, it was society's way of silencing a woman who is out-spoken about being wronged by the men in her life. Society hates holding men, especially white, rich men, accountable for their actions. Society hates it even more when women, especially young, pretty women, hold these men accountable and do so fearlessly. Taylor has always been the Loudest Woman in the industry and the court of public opinion has always hated her for it. The "slut" narrative is just a tool they use to try and discredit her very real, very valid criticisms of the way men have treated her throughout her life.

This is why Taylor had every right to call out the bullshit joke on that Netflix show. She isn't blowing things out of proportion or being dramatic or getting offended over reality, as many men in her comment section have claimed. She is instead bringing to light the decade long weapon the media has wielded at her in an effort to get her to shut the fuck up. And she is making it clear to everybody who hears about it that she will never be quiet, no matter now much the court tries to crucify her for speaking up. She will continue to be the Loudest Woman this town was ever seen, and she will continue to do so the way she has for her entire career, honestly and genuinely.

#taylor swift #think piece #politics #feminism

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cluelessgirlthinking · 2 years

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Don’t Let Amber Become The Next Britney (It’s Not Too Late to Apologize to Amber Heard)

If you're reading this, I want you to know I'm angry. In fact, I'm fucking furious right now. Probably at you, whoever you are, currently reading this post right now. Do I know you? Unlikely, but I don't really think I need to because I know your type. If you're the average social media user right now, whatever you believe about the MeToo Movement, you're doing a whole lot of sympathizing with Johnny Depp and his legion of anti-feminist fanboys spreading misinformation on his behalf. And if you are, if you believe the lies spreading like wildfire all over social media right now, well, shame on you. Shame on you and your performative activism. Shame on you and your willingness to accept whatever a pretty, well-known, filthy rich white male celebrity says at face-value. Shame on you for not decentering male voices in literally any topic ever. Shame on you, especially if you claim to be a leftist or a champion of women's issues, for letting the right bamboozle you yet again. Shame on you if you are taking this farce of a lawsuit as anything other than a really pathetic attempt to discredit Amber Heard.

But, Clueless, you're saying to yourself, haven't you seen the trial on TV? Didn't you hear that recording of Amber admitting to abusing him? How can you still be on her side, after all that evidence in court Johnny provided? Yeah, that'd be great and all, if the "evidence" you're referring to wasn't a bunch of piling hot garbage that consists of an alleged abuser's lying testimony about every piece of physical evidence in the case. Don't believe me? Don't worry, I'll list all my sources for you to do your own research, because I know NONE of you johnny-truthers bothered to do any yourself. Let me be clear, this is the first time in American history I've ever seen an abuse victim sue their abuser for defamation of character, especially if they have all this evidence that they've been abused. In fact, if you google the search phrase "abuse victim sues abuser for defamation of character case," the only results you get (that aren't domestic violence groups with advice on what to do if your abuser sues you for defamation of character) are other high profile cases of alleged abusers suing "liars" like Kesha and Evan Rachel Wood. Yes, you read that line correctly. Other high-profile defamation of character lawsuits include abusers like Dr. Luke and Marilyn Manson suing their own victims of abuse. If that fact alone isn't enough to immediately cause your heart to drop to your stomach, well, you're probably an alt-right MRA. Everyone else, congrats, you've fallen for the lies of ill-intentioned white men (...yet again).

But, Clueless, you say, how was I supposed to know that defamation of character lawsuits are a common abuser tactic? And you know what, I might have been more forgiving of your performative activism if it wasn't for the fact that this case has been public knowledge since 2016. It's been six years since Amber Heard first accused Johnny Depp of abusing her, and there is frankly no excuse for how easily you ALL fell for the lies being spread by these anti-feminists (especially since these lies have been public knowledge for YEARS at this point) when a simple google search would have saved you all a lot of embarrassment. How many times do we need to have the same discussions before you guys actually fucking change your behaviors and assumptions about the world? I know, I know, some of you may be thinking, well if I was accused of abuse and I didn't do it, I'd sue them too if I lost my career over it? And to that, I say, what a lovely rape apologist thought to have.

And before you sprout your excuses of how you're NOT a rape apologist, let me remind you that the entire reason I'm writing this article is because YOU are the one believing an abuser over his victim right now. If you've managed to read this far into this article, I'm sure you know all about the rape culture pyramid and the different tiers, one of which being the normalization of thoughts and attitudes tier. I'm sorry to break it to you but that line of thinking is baked with rape culture values. In fact, it's predicated on this idea that sometimes, even if rarely, people will lie about abuse and sexual violence for personal or financial gain. I'm sorry, but if this entire shit-show of trial doesn't prove to you that every public victim of ANY celebrity is telling the truth always, you're a lost cause. I don't know ANY woman who sees the truth in Amber, who believes in victims truly, that would willingly sign up for the gaslighting society performs on abusers' behalf if they speak up. In fact, I can't take you seriously if you think there's even a possibility of any woman lying about abuse at the hands of any male celebrity in this political minefield. I don't think there is enough money in the world for me to experience what Amber is dealing with right now, let alone deal with it in front of the entire world. And if you think there is any woman who would take that deal, you're probably sexist and have a negative view of women.

But, Clueless, there's a first time for everything, you say. Maybe Johnny really is the first abuse victim ever to file for a defamation lawsuit in American history. Don't worry, I'm a fair debater, I'll meet you where you are right now and give you this point, okay. Let's say that Johnny Depp is an abuse victim who is suing his abuser for defamation of character. In the US, defamation claims are notoriously difficult to win because the plaintiff has prove the statement to be false and also damage occurred specifically because of the false statement. As you might be aware, Depp also sued The Sun in the UK in 2020 but ultimately lost. Despite what the alt-right MRAs want you to believe, defamation cases in the UK are way easier to win due to the fact that the plaintiff only has to prove that damage occurred because of the defamatory statements. The UK court system automatically presumes the statement is false to begin with. In other words, Johnny Depp's legal team couldn't even prove that the sun article caused him to lose any roles or ruined his reputation in any way. This is because, despite what his fanboys are claiming, Depp's career was already in the shitter because of his own wrong-doings over the years (did we forget his history of abuse on work sets, guys?).

So, if Depp didn't win in the UK, where he was expected to, in what universe do you think he is going to be able to prove that Amber's 2018 Washington Post article is defamatory in any way, shape or form? Feel free to open a new tab and look for that article yourself. It's still up on their website, you can see for yourself how there is not one false statement in the entire piece. In fact, their team is suing over half a sentence that reads, and I quote, "two years ago, I became a public figure representing domestic abuse" because that is the only, even slight reference to Depp himself in the entire thing. Unless I'm mistaken, Amber Heard did in fact become a public figure representing domestic abuse in 2016, so where exactly is the lie, here? Because, again, remember, in order for you Americans to win a defamation claim, you need to prove FALSE statements damaged your reputation. Okay, but none of this proves he's actually the abuser in this whole thing, Clueless.

And sure, you're right, none of that says anything about the abuse he claims to have suffered at Amber's hands. But I'm assuming you have some rudimentary critical thinking skills if you're still with me, so let's ask ourselves some questions, shall we? Why would Depp want to continue with this defamation lawsuit after losing the easier version in the UK? Depp claimed in court that he doesn't want his fans to be hurt by these allegations (very telling of his narcissism to me, but I'm not his doctor so I'll refrain from diagnosing him) and he is obsessed with truth. If that's the case, why not just press charges against Amber? After all, you guys are claiming he has all this evidence proving he's been abused. He wants to get the truth out there, so why not take the evidence that you all are using to crucify Amber with and go to trial for domestic abuse? Could it, in fact, be because he is well aware of just how much evidence Amber has to prove otherwise and a defamation lawsuit in the US is the perfect way to run a smear campaign, even if he ultimately loses? Criminal defense attorney Sara Azar said it best, "this is Depp's chance to take the stink off his name. Even if he doesn't prevail, I think this is his day in court." I don't know about you all, but this sure is starting to look like a duck and quack like a duck to me.

But, don't forget, his fanboys are claiming he "proved" Amber was lying in court. There's audio recordings of her saying such awful things to him, and text messages where she says she wants to fuck his burnt corpse, and photographic evidence of penises she drew on the wall after cutting his finger off. No, wait, that's the evidence that was provided by Amber Heard two years ago for the UK trial (and most likely part of her evidence in this trial, since we haven't actually heard her testimony yet). Yes, you read that correctly. Johnny Depp liked to text his friends and co-stars things like burning Amber alive and fucking her corpse afterwards to make sure she was really dead, when he wasn't calling her all sorts of names like cunt, whore, bitch. And if you're wondering if Johnny provided any counter-evidence of Amber texting her friends and family such evil shit to make his allegation of abuse credible, don't worry! He didn't. Because, well, we've already established that I think of him as an abusive piece of shit. And no, having just text messages alone isn't enough to prove he abused her but it's a good thing Amber has a shit-load more evidence to support her version of events.

Like, for example, photographic evidence of the messages that Johnny Depp has admitted in this trial to drawing on the wall after he claims she cut his finger off with a vodka bottle that she threw at him. Besides the obvious fucking physical flaw with this argument, do we seriously believe that an abuse victim who gets his finger cut off would then use that blood to draw a penis on the walls and dip that same finger into paint to write messages like "billy bob and easy amber" and "good luck and be careful at top" as it seemed like good advice, according to Depp's own testimony? Or is it more plausible that a narcissistic abuser would cut his own finger off and write on the walls during a heated argument he starts about an imagined affair between the two co-stars? This is in line with text message evidence of Johnny stating at the time of the incident that he was the one who cut his finger off (several text messages, to several different people, in fact). I'm not even going to start on the fact that his sworn testimony in court states that Amber threw a vodka bottle at him and the shard from the explosion somehow cut his finger to the point where he could see bone sticking out, while also admitting that he did also dip that same finger into paint after the blood dried. Try to imagine that scene in your heard for a minute, and how a broken vodka bottle shard could exert enough force to cut to the bone in a freak accident like that? In case you need it spelled out, that means that your golden boy is actively LYING on the stand right now about physical evidence that he knows exists.

Okay, but that doesn't prove Amber wasn't abusive to Johnny as well! Mutual abuse exists, Clueless, did you forget about that? No, actually, I didn't because "mutual abuse" is not a real term. It's a sexist dog-whistle that refers to something called "reactive abuse." Despite abuse being in the name, this is actually a phenomenon that occurs in an abusive relationship when the abuser has pushed their victim into reacting in a less-than-ideal fashion (i.e. hitting them back, saying awful insults). The abuser will then use that incidence as proof that they are in fact the victim in the relationship, or what we informally call "gaslighting." In no way, shape or form does this mean that the victim is not actually being abused or is a bad person for reacting in a normal way to the abuse they experience. However, it is important for you to recognize that the only people who use this phrase are sexist assholes who want to discredit the believability of all victims and to stop running with this narrative that relationships can be mutually abusive, if you want to be an actual ally to women. While relationships can be mutually TOXIC, abuse requires a power dynamic of some sort to be present. This is because there is always a primary aggressor in abuse, and that is usually the person with the most power over the other. I also want to remind you that one of the responses to trauma is in fact, fighting. That doesn't always mean that the person who fights back is in fact the abuser or not being abused if they are unable to get out even while fighting back.

And, while we're on power dynamics that can exist in a relationship, let's talk about how so many of you are not talking about how exactly a 25 year old no-name actress managed to have any power imbalance over world-famous 47 year old Johnny Depp, an actor already beloved by many for his pirate role. While I do believe average everyday women can abuse average everyday men, let's not act like Johnny's wealth and status didn't work together with the significant age gap to create a power imbalance in HIS favor. While I could maybe accept the fact that one or two of these factors are not enough to say for sure he had the power in their relationship, all three being present at once makes this impossible for anyone who has any working knowledge of abuse to actually believe. Especially combined with the text and email evidence of Johnny Depp admitting to bad behavior towards Amber that was once again presented at the 2020 UK Trial (yes, I am reminding you that all of this is public information and has been for years. no there really is no excuse for why you believed him). And before I go any further, I want to make it clear that I do support male DV victims. I just don't support abusers taking advantage of our court system to terrorize their victims.

Okay, clueless, but you're just ignoring that amber admitting to hitting him in the ear and told him to "tell the world, Johnny, tell them ‘I, Johnny Depp, a man, I’m a victim, too, of domestic violence… and it’s a fair fight.’ And see how many people believe or side with you"! That proves that she made the whole thing up and she's the bad guy! Sorry to burst your bubble (I'm actually not), but with all the physical and historical evidence that Amber has, two recordings mean nothing to me. Remember what I told you about reactive abuse? Yeah, that's what those recordings are. Depp, the abuser, pushes and pushes and pushes until his victim snaps and he's able to record her saying semi-fucked up things to prove he's the victim instead. Because at this point, two recordings against hundreds of texts and emails and photographic evidence is adding up to a whole lot of nothing. However, I will paint two very common abuse situations that can easily explain these recordings away.

First, imagine you are in a fight with your abuser. It's a nasty screaming match with your partner hurling lies and the worst insults they could think of (a man who jokes about fucking burnt corpses probably knows quite a bit) over and over again while you are trying to make them see reason. They strike you, you defend yourself by hitting them in the ear. They were waiting for this so they exclaim, "wow, I can't believe you punched me," the words feeling like ice-cold water splashing over you. Regret and shame and guilt build up as you try to explain to them that you "didn't actually punch them, you hit them in the ear. not punching." It's easy to see how that type of recording can be misconstrued by your abuser in court later on.

Another scenario, in which you're meeting up with your abuser after divorcing him. He is trying to get you to back down and take back your abuse allegations, you refuse. You tell him you have all this evidence against him and you're going to continue to press charges. He tries to blackmail you with his own "evidence" and states that he'll tell the world that he's the abuse victim in the relationship, to which you tell him that nobody is going to believe him. Again, it's easy to see how that type of recording can be misconstrued by your abuser in court later on.

But, Clueless, that's just YOUR interpretation of the recordings; you cannot definitely call them reactive abuse situations without the full context. You're 100% correct on that, but at this point, if you believe anything that Johnny Depp has said on the stand, you're willfully ignoring the mountains of physical evidence contradicting him. It's not just that he has lied in court and been called out on those lies repeatedly, but the mental gymnastics you would have to do to accept these recordings as evidence of abuse but not the text messages, emails, letters, doctors records, photographs, etc. that Amber has previously submitted for evidence is inconceivable. When you're weighing two sides of an argument, the side that has the most evidence should win out, don't you think?

So far, we've established that Johnny Depp is a fucking liar and the evidence is in direct conflict with his version of events. We've established that Amber's 2018 article is factually accurate and abuse victims don't file defamation lawsuits. Now, let's discuss briefly the out-right lies going viral on social media right now. First of all, Amber's attorney NEVER claimed that the Milani kit was specifically used to cover up her bruises in their opening statement. I don't know if any of you took a public speaking course, but an opening statement is a lot like a persuasive speech and sometimes in speeches, props can be used for emphasis. Go back and read the full statement in context and see how the lawyer was obviously saying that Amber Heard was never seen with bruises on her face or body because she always carried MAKE-UP around. In fact, here is a fact check article with the full statement for you. I don't need to tell you guys that taking one sentence out of a paragraph puts it out-of-context immediately, and that in order to infer meaning, things must be read as a whole. The question and response tactic is extremely common when crafting public speeches, as it can add emphasis to what you are saying (important for a defense attorney to garner sympathy in their opening statement). However, this is just the opening statement and considering that the kit is not in evidence, the likely goal of the prop was to stick in the jurors' heads when questioning why she wasn't seen in public with bruises on (but what do I know?).

Furthermore, I want to make it abundantly clear that hiring a mental health professional to speculate on the sanity of her ex-wife because she accused you of abuse is textbook abuser behavior, not abuse victim behavior. In case you've never needed therapy before, I want to take this moment to let you know that the ONLY professional who can diagnose you with a mental disorder is in fact YOUR TREATING PROVIDER. This means that Amber Heard does not have BPD or HPD, as far as we know because we have not heard her therapist testify yet. I also want to the record to show that Dr. Curry was added to court proceedings as a witness to discuss Heard "showing signs of BPD" in February 2021, after a four hour dinner and drinks at Depp's house, but didn't actually meet Amber until DECEMBER 2021. If that doesn't scream smear campaign, I don't know what will. I have no idea why so many of you ran with this idea that Amber has BPD, based on the word of her ex-husband's medical team, but alas.

Actually, I do. You don't believe women. You say you do, you say you want to support victims of abuse and sexual assault but you don't actually support them. If you did, we wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be writing this because you never would have paid any attention to this farce of a trial to begin with. You would have looked into the actual testimony and evidence and seen that Depp has been lying repeatedly, over and over again, if you bothered to believe anything he said at all because you would've known ALL of this beforehand. You would have kept up to date with the UK Trial, you would have known defamation lawsuits are a common abuser tactic, and you wouldn't take the claim that a shard of glass can finger to the bone at face value all because your favorite pirate is saying that's what happened. You should be ashamed of yourself, because this is shameful. It's shameful to continuously have to owe women collective apologies because we refuse to support them in their actual time of need. Women come to us, time and time again, and we spit in their faces, over and over again. How fucking pitiful are we that we cannot be bothered to learn from our fucking mistakes, the same ones we keep making over and over again, spanning decades, destroying hundreds of thousands of lives with our reluctance to hold men accountable for their shitty behavior.

And what does Amber have to show for it? Thousands of people calling her a cunt, a bitch, a whore, invalidating her pain and her terror all so that we didn't have to face how uncomfortable it makes us that someone like Johnny Depp can be such a fucking monster. Can you live with the discomfort of knowing you helped an abuser continue to psychologically torture and gaslight his victim, some of you engaging in the gaslighting yourself? You made Tik-Tok clips of her abuser lying on stand go viral, you pushed lies he told you to discredit her story, to make people look like bigots for disagreeing that Depp is an abuse victim. This is why women don't report their abuse, this is why so many of us walk in terror every fucking minute of every day of something like this happening to us. Not because we can't handle it, not because we wouldn't be able to survive such a horrific experience but because we know the second we do, we open ourselves up to this. We know that nobody will believe us, especially if we have been gaslit by our abuser, so we keep silent.

Is that any better?

Sources:

The UK Judgement can be found here.

All the evidence in the 2022 Virginia Defamation Trial can be found here, in the fourth and fifth tabs. Both Depp and Heard's evidence are listed here.

You can also use this website for more information.

More information about what counts as abuse here.

#i stand with amber heard #think piece #politics #feminism

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