cmiru

[cmiru]

YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO CERYDRA PROPAGANDA

[cmiru]

Nefer

[cmiru]

I SPY MY FAVORITE MENTALLY STABLE HSR MAN (+ others i suppose)

Language Barrier - feat. March 7th, Dan Heng, Gepard, Serval, Bronya, Herta, Silver Wolf, and Topaz (+ Numby)

Congrats! You've successfully isekaied yourself into the world of HSR and are now able to meet your faves—wait...

Okay, so they can't understand you, nor can you them. But that's alright! Here's how each of these sweethearts would go about communicating with you and, more specifically, how they'd approach learning your native language.

- March 7th -

This chick is a hardcore Duolingo user (or whatever the heck their world's version of it is), straight up. Textbooks are just soooo boring!! How is she even supposed to read all that tiny print anyway? If she tried reading all of that, she'd totally end up becoming a four-eyes just like Dan Heng! That's what she claims, but if he retorts that phones are just as bad for her vision, she just covers her ears and starts loudly going "Nuh uh!!!" until he gives up and leaves.

There is, however, one key factor that actually makes her become fluent(ish) surprisingly fast—in comparison to her research efforts, at least. March is such a severe yapper that she will NOT stop talking to and with you just because of the language barrier. Her hands-on approach to adapting to the situation is incredibly effective at getting real-world practice and, as such, has similarly desirable results. Of course, she doesn't realize any of this. She literally just wants to talk to you so bad that she's more than happy to brute force it.

- Dan Heng -

Speaking of this nerd, as indicated above, he's hardcore on the research side of things. Even on normal days, he's constantly hermiting with the data bank, but now that you're here? Holy mother of Aeons does he get almost zero time socializing.

Now, on the surface, this should be wonderful for his learning efforts. After all, he's spending so much time assimilating both your native tongue and its surrounding culture that surely he'll get it down the fastest, right? Wrong. While he's frantically typing and trying to figure out what the difference between there, their, and they're is, March is busy yapping away with you and actually having real-time conversations with you. The end result is... yeah, he winds up actually stumbling on his words far more than her, and it drives him up a wall. Even worse for him, March notices and constantly rubs it in his face. That's what you get for being a shut-in, I guess.

- Gepard -

Cries.

Ohhhhh this poor man would try so, so hard. And he would be so, so bad at it. Even when you sit him down and actively try to help him out by pointing and saying various objects' names, there's just something about it that does not click. Like, for some reason, his tongue just won't move the way that he wants it to??? It's so painfully embarrassing for him that he ends up getting extra nervous the next time you practice, making it even worse. At least his stuttering and flushed face are cute enough to make up for it.

There is one situation in which you can end up—even if unintentionally—pushing him way out of his comfort zone for your own sake, and that's if you're prone to nightmares. True, he can't string together a single proper sentence for his life, but he can hum. Not well, but he can do it. So on especially difficult nights where you find yourself wide-eyed and full of unwarranted adrenaline, he's more than willing to try to hum one of those songs of yours you like singing from back home. It's especially endearing if you don't do so often, which shows just how much care he's taken in listening the few times you do. In simple terms, WHAT A GENTLEMAN UGH!!!!

- Serval -

Prepare to have love songs written about you that you can't even understand a single word of. It's fine though, in her opinion. Words may not be universal, but music sure as hell is! So she's more than happy to use her musical prowess as her primary method of conveying her deepest feelings for you.

Another form of indirect communication that she's fond of is gift-giving. Whether it's some goodies from a local shop or something she handcrafted herself, she thrives off of seeing the way your face lights up each time she shoves a new knick-knack into your palms. Hell, she might even find you an instrument of your own, so long as it's something either you've indicated interest in or is newbie-friendly. You know, since she can't exactly sit down with you and teach you complicated stuff like she'd want to for instruments with a higher skill barrier. This ultimately winds up being her preferred way of hearing your own thoughts and deeper emotions. Music is her salvation, her chance to truly connect with others and bare her heart and soul freely. You deserve that chance just as much.

- Bronya -

Bronya, unfortunately, lacks the same amount of free time as many others on this list, which has a major impact on her ability to take time out of her day for learning your language. However, that in no way means that she won't put in the time necessary. On the contrary, her life experience has taught her well in how to both efficiently study and master new topics, leading her to manage to get an awful lot of knowledge under her belt in almost no time at all.

Unlike Gepard, she's very much capable of adapting to your native tongue and its unique mouth movements, courtesy of her public speaking skills. However... what she likes much more than talking in it is hearing it from your own lips. It's a bit embarrassing, but sometimes she even forgets to try to understand what you're actually saying due to how soothing the melody of your voice is on her tired ears. Oh well, she can just politely hum to get you to repeat it again, so it's a happy mistake.

- Herta -

You better thank your lucky stars that she finds you interesting enough to keep around. Of course, individuals from other planets are a dime a dozen, but from another universe? ...Well, actually, that's not too horribly impressive either, since you're not the first person she's met that falls into that category. So why does she willingly take the time to learn both about you and your language? Don't ask such trivial questions. (She just doesn't want to admit she's doing all this cause you're cute.)

She's 100% going to be the best out of everyone here at understanding and dissecting your language with just her own intelligence to guide her forward. She is the Madam Herta, after all. You'd do good to remember that.

On another note, she will absolutely make an auto-translator app for you. And, of course, she's going to immediately use it to start boasting to you about how great she is and how simple this task was for her. Ignore the suspiciously dark bags under her eyes...

- Silver Wolf -

Gamer brain takes over so bad. This sooo reminds her of that one indie horror game she picked up a while back where she had to decipher the language of these monsters and... Don't look at her like that, Kafka. At least she's willing to actually try and pick up a few key words and phrases of yours.

Also thanks to her gaming addiction, she's surprisingly good at handling the difficulties of attempting to communicate with someone without any translators or textbooks to help her. If you can't beat a level, you just gotta get good, y'know? As long as she puts it like that, her dedication will never waver. This mindset also spills over into the actual methods in question that she uses to "get good". She's such a nerd about it that she'll make a whole points system based on how well she did talking to you that day and constantly shoot for a new high score.

- Topaz -

Topaz is legit so good to have around in this scenario. She's already so accustomed to learning new languages anyway, so what's the problem with adding one more? Sure, this'll be harder than her typical manner of educating herself, seeing how she has no lessons she can enroll in, but hey... Now that she's listening closer, your language sounds awfully similar to this other one. Perhaps she can learn about their grammar rules and such and see how much of it overlaps with your own? In summary, she's the perfect blend of being both kindhearted and capable of handling your situation in a productive manner.

If you're overwhelmed and distraught when you two first cross paths, don't worry. She's got just the most adorable little guy right here and ready to cheer you up by jumping into your lap and snuggling against you. Once you've calmed down enough, that's when she'll get to business.

[cmiru]

would we kill me if i posted merfolk reader like 2 more times

[cmiru]

HI RIRICAKES! I HOPE U'RE DOING WELL! (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠) I ALMOST GOT BURIED! /j, nsrs

I was thinking of requesting a phainon fic (once again LMAO)! If that's fine! I've been feeling a little hurt lately, people have told me I'm too nonchalant, distant, and too quiet— I'm trying my best to express myself but then some of them told me I'm childish(?) or when I cry, they call me a crybaby LOL! (I've also gotten used to a life without the freedom of choosing my own friends for 13 years, so it's somewhat difficult for me to express that much) So I thought about a comfy phaichan fic!(⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠) [Why am I ranting HELP]

into the arms of my comfort person -phainon x reader

synopsis: life has been really tough on you recently. good thing phainon is always there for you.

warnings: this is a hurt/comfort fic, idk if that needs warnings! mentions of getting yelled/snapped at by coworkers!

word count: 319 (much longer in my head, oops!)

author’s note: this is set in a modern au! thank you for requesting, seraphie; it’s always a joy to write down and fulfill your requests! i hope things turn around for you soon; if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to let me know! apologies this took so long to get out; writer's block is insane, unfortunately! hopefully i did your thought justice!! i hope you enjoy this! <33

taglist: @axolotsofluv, @sqgeism, @vyyper, @your-sleeparalysisdem0n, @cmiru, @sheyfu, @threnodians, @sswrillya, @silvermah, @lacedsun, @chokifandom, @sillyseraphie, @riaruu, @formiito, @yumeren, + @m1ckeyb3rry! let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist! 

work has been making you feel awful, and it’s just so draining. earlier in the week, several of your coworkers snapped at you for things you didn’t even do wrong. if you tried standing up for yourself, you’d get yelled at and get told to shut up, not to mention the dirty looks from your mean coworkers.

today is friday, your day off before the weekend. the house is dark, but it’s also early morning. you hear a knock at the door, which almost startles you awake. you get out of bed and make your way to the door.

lo and behold, your lovely boyfriend is in front of you. 

“hi, sunshine,” Phainon says as you look up at him in disbelief, “missed me?”

you nod dumbfoundedly before moving out of the way and letting him into your phone. Phainon turns on a couple of lights, not enough to overwhelm or make you squint, but just enough so you both could see. he then sits down on the sofa and notices you haven’t moved away from the door. he jokingly whistles at you to get your attention, and you pick your head up immediately after hearing the sound. 

“come here,” he says. your body moves on its own and soon you stop right in front of him. he makes grabby hands at you playfully as you sit down next to him on the couch. Phainon adjusts himself so you’re comfortable in his arms.

you just feel so numb. before you realize it, you’re crying silently. Phainon notices and soothingly rubs your back. you had mentioned to him in messages about how rough work has been lately. yesterday was your breaking point where you called Phainon and just ranted to him.

so how you got here was no surprise. but Phainon never judged you for how you felt. he just comforted you.

and that was all you needed right now.

©winteryreads 2025.

[cmiru]

ILY TOPAZ HSR I’M SO SORRY I DIDNT GET YOU ON RELEASE I PROMISE TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU AGHHSUSOZJSISOWS

[cmiru]

Dreaming of You, With You

Yae Miko x GN Reader

Thanks to your declining health, every waking moment of yours for the past few years has been spent cooped up inside in your tiny home in your tiny room. The only salvation fate has thrown at you is your kitsune companion and her immense collection of books. At least, that's how it was supposed to be. But what is this Penacony that she keeps speaking of...?

A crossover fic between Genshin Impact and HSR

Part 1: Today

-> Masterlist here

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

"Oh my, and here I was thinking you were still fast asleep."

Out of the corner of your cloudy vision, a mirage of pinks, whites, and reds flashes with an air of elegance and self-possession. It's her again: Yae Miko, the head shrine maiden of the Narukami Shrine, a mysterious woman known for her cunning trickery mixed with her bountiful laughter, and most important of all, your closest and dearest companion. To this day, you've never once managed to comprehend her seeming attachment to you. Perhaps it's a mere curiosity on her part, or maybe it's just the same old guilt that seems to shackle down every single person cursed with the weighted task of taking care of you.

"...Hm..." Your voice feebly buzzes in the air, exhaustion sticking to you like a jar of honey poured directly onto your skin. Somehow, your previous slumber only made it cling harder. Funny how that works.

"What, not even a proper greeting?" She adjusts herself by your bedside with an eternally charming smile. "You know, if it were anyone else treating me this way, I'd have half the mind to pack up my things right away and never come back."

Her words sway in the air as she winks at you playfully. For her sake, you wish she had meant it. She coughs a little at your silence before continuing to speak, a hint of somberness beginning to etch itself into her expression.

"Hm... not very talkative today, it seems. That's alright. In that case, I hope you don't mind me being the one to fill up this empty space? I'll have you know I brought quite the selection with me today."

She reaches inside her tote bag and swiftly ushers out an unfamiliar novel, the cover of which contains a dazzling city landscape coated with blaring neon lights and an array of unknown attractions. A wave of pride beams from her upturned lips as you inch closer.

"Penacony? What's that?" Your eyes trace back and forth across the title.

"Oh? Looks like this one's right up your alley. Of course, that doesn't surprise me. You've always shown favoritism towards these sorts of stories about fantastical worlds. A real shame that you can't appreciate the one you're actually living in." Her voice grew softer as her final words of banter left her mouth, a wry smile following closely after.

It wasn't long before the two of you settled into your signature positions, with her lingering by your side and vocalizing the countless strings of letters into a beautiful, dreamy harmony of her making. You, on the other hand, snuggle deeper and deeper into the fluffy bedsheets that blanketed your feeble form. As each sentence exits her mouth and enters your drowsy ears, it's as if they've lifted you up into the clouds and cascaded you into another world. One where beautiful lights and bubbly cheers echoed all around you, where the world itself would bend to your every whim. One where you could stand on your own two legs, unconcerned about the possibility of falling to the ground or being chained to a caretaker just to be able to get to your next destination.

And, of course, the most tantalizing dream of all, the one your heart aches for every waking moment of your broken life: a world in which you weren't destined to die before you could see the sun next rise, leaving the only person who loved you despite gaining nothing in return to watch it all alone.

"Hey, don't fall asleep on me now." Her hand gingerly nudges into you, pulling you back down to reality.

"I'm not. It just... sounds so nice. To live in a dream world and not have to deal with any of... this." Your hands aimlessly flick upwards. Whatever you were motioning at, you couldn't tell; you only know it to be far grander than any simple phrase could encompass.

"Would you want to?"

"What...?" Your eyes interlock with hers. Her smile, which you had long since grown accustomed to being eternally plastered on her face, is nowhere to be found. In its place stands a taut, thin line without even the slightest hint of its usual vivacity. You swallow hard.

"I mean... yeah. Of course I would. Anything would be better than rotting here all day, just waiting for this all to end. But..." Your lips gently tug upwards as you muster a warm, fragile smile. "It wouldn't be nearly as fun if you weren't there by my side, so only if you came along too."

She returns your affection with a grin of her own.

"Very well, then."

Her body inches closer and closer until it fully drapes itself on top of yours, drenching every one of your nerve endings with the doting pressure of her affection. Each breath that erupts out of your lungs is mirrored by her own. Even your twin heartbeats thump in tandem with one another, and with a heavy shiver, you realize: the woman before you is just as terrified of the cursed fate you've been cruelly doomed by this universe to execute.

"If that's what you want, then who am I to argue?"

"Wh—"

Your confusion is harshly interrupted by the force of her lips pressing into yours. Countless strings of words race through your mind, all of which bounce around uselessly as you futilely scramble to assort them into some sort of meaningful arrangement. Out of all of them though, only one lone thought manages to rack itself through your system, shaking you to the core.

Yae Miko likes you.

And yet, she shouldn't. You of all people would know that, would know just how unattractive and unappealing any sane person should find you as a romantic prospect. Images flash in your mind of all the horrendously embarrassing moments you two have endured together—greasy hair that you hadn't the energy to clean, stupid remarks from when brain fog seemingly washed away your intelligence, and every single second of shame you've endured from knowing that you'll never match up to the beautiful, witty woman currently on top of you.

Truly, you could never comprehend what has possessed her to bestow upon you this unearned affection. Maybe you never will.

A foreign, cold sensation overwhelms your senses, dragging your attention away from your previous thoughts and back to the precarious situation you've found yourself in. Her lips morph into a smirk as they snake down and alongside the width of your neck. A shiver runs down your spine when you feel a puff of hot air hit it, accompanied by a teasing chuckle.

"Hold on tight, darling."

"Hm? What do you mea—"

All at once, the perpetual presence of gravity bearing down on you suddenly didn't seem so long-lasting. Your body proceeds to flail and sink down into what felt like a giant, empty pit; or perhaps it was rising? Either way, a violent scream—one you hardly recognize at first, before realizing it is your own—echoes into the vast space of simultaneous nothingness and everything. Wind screeches across your ears, as if mocking reality itself for ever daring to try and enforce any of its laws of physics upon it. The only lingering strand of normalcy you still have to hold on to in this realm of nonsense and chaos is Yae's familiar form.

And, of course, her laughter.

"Aw, are you scared? Poor thing." Her words sound kind, yet you sense a suspiciously teasing undertone lingering under the surface.

"Of course I am! What the hell's even happening? What did you do?!" Yet as hard as you push for answers, Yae's lips merely curl upwards at you and her eyes bat up and down with a faux innocence.

"Oh my... I put in all of this effort into granting your wish, and this is how you treat me in response? Really, you ought to learn some manners. After all, you're going to be interacting with far more people than you ever did in that little run-down home of yours back in Inazuma."

"Huh?" As each vibration of her vocal cords drums through your poor, overwhelmed noggin, yet another onset of foreign sensations racks through you. It takes a couple of seconds for you to process where you even are—or more accurately, where you aren't, seeing as your body no longer is stuck free-falling aimlessly inside of that absurd lapse of reality's judgment. Rather, as you gaze around at your new surroundings, you find yourself in some sort of room. Red couches and chairs litter the floor on which you and Yae seemed to have landed, not a single one looking even the least bit familiar.

"I see." Your companion looks around without even a hint of the bewilderment any normal person should feel in such a bizarre situation. "This must be one of those hotel rooms I heard so much about in my research. How intriguing."

"Wait, wait, wait. You know what this place is?" You squint at her.

"Well, of course. How else would I have managed to get us all the way over here?"

Before you get the chance to exchange any further banter with her, you feel one of her index fingers press faintly into your mouth. Her eyes meet yours and swirl with an odd combination of warmth and reticence.

"Welcome to Penacony, dear."

---------------------------------------------

Author's note: Guhhh I love Yae Miko. I love her I love her I love her!!! Insanely huge shoutout to @dreadcore for this wonderful idea, all credits for the premise of this fic go to them. You a real one

If you'd like to be added/removed from the future taglist, feel free to let me know through via comments or my inbox ^^ Thanks for reading!

[cmiru]

Thank you so much for reblogging my fic with your sweet comments, Ruu! You're so nice to me and I love the support. And I'm glad you got what I was going for.

you’re very welcome! it’s nothing really, i only commented as honestly as i could on one of your fics compared to how nice you were about going through all of mine :D i’m also glad to hear that i understood what you were going for with your Castorice fic 🎉

[cmiru]

hey, did you know that the world is a better place because of your creations and art and writing, no matter how niche or how many people see it

[cmiru]

>honkai star rail men with insomnia!darling who can't sleep alone. who has many plushies and bolsters in her room. who just too fear about sth danger is watching and would attack her at any time.

suggest: jing yuan, jiaoqiu and moze（。ˇ ⊖ˇ）♡

hi, anon! i just did some simple headcanons, i hope you don't mind! hopefully this wasn’t meant to be asked in a yandare way- i unfortunately don’t write that! but i hope i executed your idea properly in a few short headcanons! if you'd like a whole fic, feel free to come by my inbox once it's open again! thank you for requesting, feel free to drop by with more requests, and have a lovely time zone! <3

Jing Yuan:

finds your plushies very cute. despite his almost playful persona, he thinks your fears are very much real concerns. 

he does anything he can (and you tell him things that can help you) to help you fall asleep. worried about any dangers? he takes you with him all throughout your shared home and helps you check things out and make sure nothing’s lurking in the darkness. and if there is? well, it’s a good thing he’s a general; he’s going to protect you no matter what.

and if you can’t fall asleep with all your plushies and bolsters? he resorts to holding you and telling stories that he’s sure will bore you to sleep.

Jiaoqiu:

tends to make teas with herbs that won’t knock you on your ass, but they help you fall asleep. think like melatonin or magnesium pills. if that doesn’t make you fall asleep, jiaoqiu doesn’t mind using other resources (legal and ethical, i promise) to help you. insomnia and potential dangers don’t stand a chance against him; he’s going to protect you.

also finds your plushies and bolsters cute, and lovingly pokes fun at them. but if you’re sensitive and don’t like that type of thing, he knows when to stop. 

if teas don’t work for you, tell him things that do work so that you both can fall asleep tonight. your fears and concerns are real and valid, jiaoqiu will be damned if he doesn’t help you at least a little bit. 

Moze:

moze doesn’t really have an opinion on your endless plushies and bolsters. it’s whatever helps you, right?

he goes to jiaoqiu and feixiao about how he can make your life easier. foods, drinks, medicine/pills, you name it; moze’s going to get it all and see if it works for you. 

so he does what jung yuan does: goes with you, scans the house for any dangers, and helps you with anything that could potentially be troubling to you. if you’re still scared, don’t be. he’s a trained assassin, he won’t let anyone or anything come to harm you in any way, shape, or form. he’s too good at his job, let’s be real.

[cmiru]

i am screaming

[cmiru]

can everyone reblog this and tell me who The Character is for you. like the one that you're obsessed with / hyperfixated on. mine is gojo

[cmiru]

something something Dr. Ratio x merfolk! reader //warnings: mentions of blood due to serious injury

“like this.”

Ratio’s face contorts into a slight frown as he attempts to ease a pencil into your grip, gently adjusting your hold on the writing utensil—a thing far too thin for fingers that border on claws. you nod slightly at him as if you understand anything marked on the paper before you, allowing him to move your hand around until he’s done showing you the same up-and-down motion for the fifth time today. the door shuts quietly behind him.

to be honest, you aren’t exactly sure why this human seems so set on getting you to move this small stick without assistance—all he has you do with it is try to copy miniature picture after miniature picture without breaking the thing (something easier said than done, in your opinion). but no matter how much wood you split, he always gives you enough food and a warm place to sleep. so you stay. so you stay with the human you can’t even speak to.

the mahogany wood of the table screams under your touch as you absentmindedly scrape your nail against it—Ratio only left about a minute ago, but it already feels like he took all the warmth of the room with him. it’s been a while since you spent so much time away from home. part of you still wants nothing more than to crawl all the way back to it, broken ribs and all.

the other…the other likes the weird black-and-white stuff Ratio sprinkles onto your fish too much to follow through on that thought.

or at least that’s what you’ve convinced yourself. that some fish is the deciding factor in this situation. that it’s most definitely not the way the human looked at you like you were something worth saving when he found you lying on the sand drenched in your own blue blood, and also not the way he so carefully carried you all the way back to his dwelling not to rip off your scales but to staunch the bleeding and dull the pain, and of course it is not the way he seems to understand the sadness that fills in your eyes when you look at the sea, understands it enough to pull a book off the shelf and flip through the pages until he finds a printed paper fish to present to you—no, no, of course not. the food is why you stay.

the man who provides it has nothing to do with it.

[cmiru]

please god let me finish this fic before my phone dies

[cmiru]

Hello ruu! Its me June from the server :D hope we get to talk more in the future!

hi June, i hope so too :3 to be honest with you, i’m not the best at conversation (especially in the beginning), so if i forget to interact more, it’s most likely that i just overthought it / couldn’t think of anything to say :(

i appreciate you stopping by to leave an ask, though :D

[cmiru]

other ask games are too sexual or romantic and i dont like that so im making my own, bitch

🫂 - i wanna hug you

🧠- i love hearing you talk. you should ramble to me more often

🫀- i love you in a deeply concerning platonic way

💿- i wanna listen to music with you in a treehouse in a summer night

🌷- i wanna shittalk people with you and just be haters together. it would be fun

🪻- you are so so cool and awesome oh my god

🌻- im proud of you

🍄- you didn't deserve what happened to you

🌵- you could stab me and i wouldnt mind as long as its you

💧- you are an important presence in my life

🍬- id go to a candy store with you and steal all the candy

🕹️- i wanna go to an arcade with you

🕰️- ill love you until the end of time, dear friend

🥊- id beat someone up with you

🌑- you worry me sometimes. just remember im here if you ever wanna talk about anything <2

♟️- you, me, board games.

🍁- im so glad you're my friend

🐚- our souls are linked in ways i cant put to words

[cmiru]

this was such a lovely fic!! i loved the relationship between reader and Castorice—they’re clearly very close without being romantic, and it was so heartwarming to see reader finally be able to provide Castorice with the kind of affection that she’s been deprived of her whole life. although the angst of the ending hurt, it was clearly well-written overall :D

Insane Stories From Belobog's Trash Cans - Volume 11: Belated Embraces

Tagged People: @tragedy-of-commons, @angeliteeyes, @cmiru.

(Disclaimer: This story contains depictions of death, intimate queerplatonic cuddling, aro ace gender neutral reader, possible lore inaccuracies, mentions of trauma, neglect, emotional abuse, dying, and hardship throughout.)

“I may not have much time left, but we can both put it to good use.”, you say to Castorice as she stares at you solemnly in one of Okhema’s many courtyards, the sun shining above you both eternally like usual, even though it was somewhere around late afternoon at that moment. “You have less than half a day. After that… Your body and spirit will depart this world, I  can already feel you gradually disappearing…”, she states quietly while looking at her hands, “I deeply apologize for this. If you didn’t get mixed up in Oronyx’s affairs trying to help me, none of this would’ve happened… How could I possibly help…? Everything these cursed hands touch withers away, and I hate that.” Her fingers clench into fists that shake with subtle anger and deep sadness.

You know her sadness is justified. After all, you’ve been very close to her for many years, ever since you first joined the Grove of Epiphany to study under Professor Anaxagoras, where you first met her. Growing up somewhat of an outcast yourself, you sat near her during the lectures when no one else would, something not even her fellow Chrysos Heirs did. Her powers of death preceded her reputation, but you never minded, as it was something she had no control over. For the first few weeks, Castorice was quiet and kept entirely to herself, pretending you weren't there in hopes that she wouldn’t hurt you and you’d give up. However, you began to make conversation with her, talking to her about her interests, aspirations, and issues. That’s when she opened up and began to trust you fully, as no one else devoted their time to helping her quite like you ever did. Things like helping her study, finding new books for her to read, and helping her make plushies were what you did with her in your free time, and were unique in terms of what you bonded over compared to her other acquaintances.

Eventually, you both graduated but thankfully never separated. While Castorice was busy with more Chrysos Heir duties, you tended to the city’s various needs as a civil servant. That way, you could still see her frequently and have the schedule flexibility to meet up with her on breaks in various parts of the city. Both of you would go sightseeing and laugh together over your workdays. And when times were tough, you would cry together and bare your vulnerabilities to her. Though she could never touch you, her majestic voice and kind personality gave you tons of comfort over the years. Then at some point, you and her entered into a special relationship that defied what most people expected. It wasn’t romantic, since you never felt that way or wanted to, but it was way beyond a typical friendship. You could be intimate without being a romantic couple, yet still have the fun platonic stuff of true friendship. You savored it and Castorice felt the same. For a few years, this was the happiest time of your life.

Unfortunately, good things don’t last forever. You always felt sorry that Castorice couldn’t touch any living thing. And even though she often laughed and smiled, you could tell that deep down, she yearned for physical affection. Having had no family or friends as a young child, she never got to experience what it was like being held and comforted through touch. Any adults who had to take care of her would often neglect her emotional needs, forcing her to do everything herself from a very young age and being a tool of death in her hometown. You could only imagine the psychological damage that being deprived of the basic natural instinct of being touched could do to her. You noticed that she loved plushies and made new ones often with you, which she would hold while sleeping or even just the simple pillows. It was a substitute, but you could never shake the feeling that it held back your love for her slightly, and you always wanted to hug her when she looked sad…

This pity for her feeling touchstarved led to you going to Oronyx’s, the Time Titan’s, abandoned temple not too long ago in order to hopefully obtain some of their power to possibly suppress or mitigate Castorice’s deathly touch somehow. You may not have golden blood, but you believed your close friend’s happiness mattered more than your own safety, and you knew the risks involved in a common civilian attempting to take a titan’s power. When you got there, it had been abandoned for decades and you ventured further down until you reached the depths. You eventually found them at the bottom and attempted to chant a prayer used by the priests to grant some sort of blessing. It partially worked, but it had dire consequences. You got the ability to turn certain areas back in time slightly, but nothing more than that.

And when you eventually returned to Okhema, Castorice sensed what happened to you and told you the grave news: You are going to die in a few days. Apparently, the titan’s blessing had already killed you, but it would take a few days before you fully disappeared, and everything else about you in the meantime would be the same as usual. You spent the last couple of days talking to Castorice and she wasn’t mad at you, surprisingly. She felt grateful that you tried to help her, but her gaze looked like she had gotten used to losing those she cared about. You wanted to make it up to her, which brings you to today: Your last day to be alive…

Feeling a little fearless about your upcoming death, you decide to comfort her as a means to try out what you originally wanted when you went to find Oronyx in the first place. It was worth it for her, you got nothing to lose. So, you take a deep breath, look her in the eyes, and grab her hand before squeezing it softly. Castorice gasps in shock and instinctively retracts her arm away, slipping out of your grasp. Both you and her brace for something bad to happen, but everything continues on without incident. You feel a little bad about doing that without permission, but you know that she’d never agree to it if she thought it would put you in any real danger. Still, you breathe a sigh of relief after thirty seconds have passed, realizing that her powers aren’t affecting you in your near-death state.

Once she notices this, Castorice’s mouth falls open in shock and she mutters: “...You're still here? Could it be…?” She fiddles with her fingers for a second before reaching out to touch the left side of your cheek with her right hand, then saying, “My touch should’ve taken effect by now… Unless Oronyx’s curse nullifies it. I-I… …Can’t believe I’m actually touching you right now…!”, in a hope-filled surprised tone. She brushes her fingers gently along the side of your cheek before taking her other hand and doing the same to the other one while giggling gleefully. You smile widely, happy to see her spirits lifted. “Like I said, I know how you could help. Why not take advantage of this situation? While I���m still here, do you want to hold hands? …Maybe a hug?”, you say enthusiastically while holding out your hand, “I can tell you’ve wanted to for a long time and you had to restrain yourself… It must be so hard being starved of that for so long. You deserve to be happy, Cassie! It’s what I want, too. I did this to help you, after all…”

Upon hearing your suggestion, Castorice pulls her hands back to her sides and her eyes widen. You briefly worry you made her uncomfortable, but her blank face then gives away to a small smile. “Alright… That sounds… nice!”, she says nervously, trying to hide her eagerness. After a moment of hesitation, she takes hold of your left hand with her right, before squeezing delicately. Her hand, despite being covered by gloves, is soft and delicate like flowers and quite warm. You'd never be able to tell that this touch would kill anyone else, since it feels just like anyone else’s hand. In reaction to her warmth, you grip her hand a little tighter and brush your thumb back and forth affectionately. You half-expect her to be blushing and anxious like crazy, but she just stands there smiling and appreciating this fleeting feeling. Meanwhile, you’re just relieved she understands your intimate platonic gestures.

Then, Castorice takes a couple of steps forward and nods her head and eyes at the rest of the courtyard, silently signaling that she wants to walk around while holding your hand. You nod and smile back in response, glad she’s taking all this well and enjoying herself. The both of you then spend the next few minutes lightly travelling around the courtyard’s perimeter at a slow pace, taking in the gorgeous scenery and naturalistic atmosphere. No one else was really around at this hour, since it was getting late and this particular courtyard wasn’t visited often, which made it perfect for your meetups. Both of your hands were held firm the entire time and she smiled all the while. There was no need for words at that time, since the action said it all.

After one trip around the surrounding area, you and Castorice end back up at your secluded balcony overlooking the vast mountainous terrain below. You both stop when you notice this and look at each other for a long moment. In sync, the two of you then stand parallel facing each other and grab your previously unheld other hands, clasping them together. With both hands held across the other, you proceed to let go and spread your arms open, waiting for her warm embrace. She understands your gesture and nods, her smile growing wider.

Not wanting to hesitate a moment longer, you close the gap between yourselves and wrap your arms around her delicate frame. You’re slightly shorter than her, so you grip her mid torso. Castorice entwines your shoulders and pulls you closer, both of your bodies touching each other. A feeling of relief and comfort washes over you, it was everything you were hoping it was. Her arms enveloping you provides you with a sense of true comfort and bliss, so soft yet so strong, like true kindness and embracing security.

You then feel Castorice shift a bit after a few moments, her grip tightening and her body pressing closer against you. She sighs in what sounds like a mixture of happiness and relaxation. Then, she nuzzles against your shoulder and comments: “Mmm… This feels… quite pleasant. Like a cocoon that keeps you safe. I cannot believe it took me this long to experience it. I… wish I could stay like this more often…” In response, you stroke her long hair ends and reply with, “Yeah… Me too, me too…”, in a melancholic way. You push away the dark thoughts and focus on the moment, savoring the comfort it brings you. Through it all, you’re just glad that she gets to experience the same affection as everyone else, even if it’s not for long…

Even though most hugs only last less than five seconds, Castorice’s first uninterrupted embrace lasted for a few good long minutes. Even though both of you never felt compelled to stop, it was getting late and you started to feel awkward about doing this in public for so long, fearing someone might come by and spread rumors about her. Luckily, you have a solution, so you let her go and she reluctantly does the same. She looks on at you with concern, the stare having a hint of disappointment behind it, and you decide to quickly clear it up. “It’s almost evening… How about you come to my place? You’ve been there before.”, you shyly suggest, “We can continue to have fun over there. I’d love to spend the last of my time with you… Remember, it’s your home too, even if only sometimes!” She seems surprised by the idea for a moment, before she smiles slightly and nods. You bend your head down, relieved that she didn’t take it the wrong way. You then gesture to her to follow you as you begin to exit the courtyard and head towards your small house on the outskirts of the city, with her following closely behind, her stride hinting at nervousness and curiosity at what you have planned.

You manage to reach your home after about ten minutes of silent strolling down the streets. Most people were already inside getting ready to sleep, even though the sun was always out. This made the anticipation of getting there easier to bear. Your little house isn’t much, just a two bedroom abode that no one wanted due to it being on the edge of the city, where the threat of the Black Tide is. The extra bedroom is seldom used, except by Castorice at times. You and her would often spend time together there, talking and helping her with her hobbies. And as part of your unique relationship, she would sometimes sleep in that extra room. You insisted, since being at the bathhouses was isolating and no one wanted to be near her anywhere else. She must’ve been so sad and lonely, you thought, always being paranoid of hurting others with her powers and not wanting to get too close to anybody, and always so busy with her Chrysos Heir duties. You’re glad you can provide her with some leisure at your home, she deserves it. And now, you look forward to continuing your bonding in private, where neither of you can be bothered. You just hope that you can make her feel good enough with your last few hours so that when you’re gone, it won’t sting as much…

You unlock the door and Castorice follows you in from close behind, then shutting and locking it. You lead her into the living room before stopping and turning to face her, doing your best to smile and not be too down. “Do you want to continue where we left off? I can show you other ways you can have fun involving touch…”, you ask cautiously, trying to respect her boundaries while not giving her the wrong impression. Once more, she takes a step forward and nods, following up with: “Alright… I get what you mean. I wouldn’t turn down someone I care so much about.” You feel better after hearing that, grateful you have a special friend that understands you so much. You never should’ve doubted her polite empathy, you realize.

The next couple of hours are spent with the two of you doing various fun and wholesome activities together. Some more hand-holding and hugging were initiated, but so were many other types of things. You did each other’s hair and makeup/nails, booped her nose, flicked her pointy ears, played various games involving arms and hands like arm wrestling, and even tickled her (which she enjoyed and weak spots were under her arms and neck)! After this, you played tag and even danced with her, which got intense and you were surprised how well she could do it, making you wonder if she practiced in her alone time. The whole time, she was smiling and laughing more than you’ve ever seen her do before, like she was on top of the world. You wonder if she also feels like this moment is the high point of her life, just like yourself… Regardless, you’re so glad your plan worked, and you can go out more happily than before!

Once everything settles down and the both of you start getting sleepy, you let out a loud yawn and prepare to get ready for bed. But before you can start, Castorice walks over to you, looking tired herself, but seeming like she wants to ask you something, judging by the way she’s staring at you with pleading eyes. She clasps her hands nervously, asking, “...I really enjoyed everything we did together today. Umm… Would it be alright with you if we… …cuddled together as we fall asleep…? I’ve always wanted to do it with you, and now we can. You have comforted me the whole day, so now I want to comfort you and make sure you feel safe before you leave… What do you think…? I’m sure you would appreciate it…”, in a longing manner. You’re quite surprised by this unexpected request, you always did want to snuggle with her deep down, but were always afraid that might be too much for her right now with your end coming and seeming too “romantic” for her. Thank the titans that she doesn’t subscribe to the romantic and platonic false dichotomy! 

“Of course, anything for you! I could use some comfort right now…”, you verbally agree, “My bed’s bigger, we can use it. Bring some plushies, that helps you feel better! You’ll sleep well tonight, I promise…” She then steps over to you excitedly and initiates an embrace for you for once, chuckling with glee. You know deep down that this is the last time you’ll do anything with her, which is why she’s so eager to make the most of it… Still, you feel good that she’s not as sad about a parting this time, since you mean so much to her and helped her more than anyone else.

Both you and Castorice change into sleep/lounge wear for comfort before slowly climbing into your overly large and soft bed. Your special friend brings two of her favorite plushies she made, a violet chimera and a large white dromas. At first, you two simply lay next to each other, before facing each other, staring into her beautiful purple eyes that are now filled with warmth for what seemed like a long time, no words are exchanged. Then, you show her how to spoon, with her being the big one (she insisted, with her being bigger and the one wanting to provide comfort, after all) and you being the little one. She holds your torso and pulls you tight against her warm body, while you grasp her hands gently. It feels heavenly, like a shell around your body that protects you from all harm. Once again, only silence was necessary for the cuddle's long duration. While you relax and savor your position, she would switch between nuzzling her plushies and the back of your head cutely. You wish this could continue on for days, but time is running out…

After what seems like an hour, Castorice moves slightly and speaks for the first time since climbing into bed with you. “You remind me of someone I believe I knew so long ago. Maybe I had a sister…? I cannot remember my early childhood well… You give me the same warmth, however. And… Words cannot describe how much I want to comfort my fellow Chrysos Heirs with my warm embraces. Lady Aglaea, with her icy loneliness. Lady Tribbie, with her cheerful attitude, despite losing so much. Lady Hyacine, with her boundless kindness. Lord Mydei, with his internal strife and countless deaths. And especially Lord Phainon, with him suffering so much and having to carry the world for us… But now, I feel like you resolved some of that regret for me… …Thank… …you…”, she reminisces groggily. She falls asleep shortly after saying this, which is signaled by her light breathing and loosening grip on you. You briefly feel pride that you can make her feel this much better after everything the two of you have been through. You let out a satisfied laugh and pat her head gently, glad to have her by your side.

Unfortunately, no matter how much you try, you can’t sleep. The reality of the situation is finally catching up to you. You’re going to die within the hour, you can just feel it now. You think about all the memories, personal belongings, work, hobbies, and people you’ll leave behind when you’re gone. The thought of leaving Castorice alone and having to witness your death breaks your heart. You briefly want to kick yourself for being selfish and letting the joy of her affection blind you, but then you realize she wants this more than anything. After all, a sudden and distant goodbye is much more painful than a close and expected one. You rub her face softly as she sleeps, feeling eternally grateful for taking that first step to truly meet the person most people were too afraid to know. If others were to see the two of you right now, they’d think you’re a couple “in love”, whatever that means. Yet, you’re honored she views you as a sibling and someone unique, and that transcends these arbitrary labels!

The racing thoughts taking over your mind in that dark room all alone becomes too much after a little while, so you quickly get out of the bed, being careful not to wake Castorice, and open the curtains to the windows that go outside (people in Okhema use them to block out the sun when it’s evening). The sun was brighter than before, which means you're going to start disintegrating very soon. This realization causes you to be afraid of dying, you thought you were prepared for it, but actually experiencing it was something else altogether… Your heart rate starts to go up and you have trouble breathing all of a sudden. You then think there’s only one way for you to calm down now.

You sprint back over to the bed and sit on it swiftly, before proceeding to shake Castorice’s shoulder with your hands. She wakes up almost immediately, becoming alert and taking a second to remember where she is and what she’s doing. When she sees your scared expression, she seems to know what’s wrong right away, and that the time is almost near… You lower your head and anxiously ask: “...C-Can you… hold me…? I’m so scared… I-I… don’t want to leave you…” She lightly gasps, surprised to see your usually calm and mature mask breaking. Not even a second later, she grabs your body and pulls you into a tight hug, like you were a wounded animal she was trying to nurse back to health. Your head rests against her collarbone as you try to calm down. She then starts to rub the back of your head and you begin to sniffle and tear up as you feel your body getting lighter and weaker…

Ten minutes pass and you feel yourself vanishing from the inside little by little. Neither of you say anything, unsure of what to say. Your breathing slightly intensifies as you adjust yourself to lay on her lap, liking the softness it gives to your pounding head. As you do this, Castorice smiles weakly, trying her best to keep a smile up as you leave. You appreciate the effort, smiling the best you can as well in return. She rubs your cheek and you feel like you only have seconds left to be around…

“I love you, Cassie…”, you say as your last words, intending them to be pure and familial. Castorice vocalizes a ping of agony for a split second, before her sisterly smile returns and she finishes with, “I love you, too… Always have… and always will!”, as she kisses you on the forehead with all the love in her heart. Usually, you don’t like kissing very much, but the situation and intentions behind it were quite appropriate. You take one last look at her smiling face and you smile genuinely, being glad you’re there and nowhere else. Your vision then fades as your body, mind, and spirit disintegrate into a purple mist. The specks fly away like dust in the wind and vanish just as fast, the previous stillness of the room returning. Now, you are fully gone from this world, never to be seen again…

The moment all traces of you truly finish dissipating, Castorice’s smile crumbles and her fists ball up, shaking so fast. Her head hangs down and she lets out heart-breakingly loud wails and sobs as rivers of tears splash down her face. The sounds are harrowing, and can likely be heard from outside. She then grabs the pillow your head rested on and enclasps it so hard, it’s almost completely flat in her shaking arms. She buries her face in the pillow she’s holding to drown out her crying and let her grief out. She does this for about half an hour, never letting up the sobbing even to take deep breaths…

Eventually, Castorice removes the tear-stained cushion from her face, her  eyes dark red. Still lightly sniffling and sobbing, she stands up from the bed and goes to stand by the window. As she gazes upon the landscapes and sunny skies, she’s reminded of everything you and her went through. You tried to be bright like Kephale’s sun to help her, and she became brighter as a result, even though it took hindsight after you’re gone for her to internalize it. In all her many years of saying goodbye to countless people due to Thanatos’s blessing, she has never felt the pain of loss and love of someone this much until you came along. You were her family, special friend, and biggest supporter at the same time. Even though she’ll never stop grieving for you, she can use her time spent with you to give her the strength to complete her mission to save her world. Feeling extra motivated to keep going on with her purpose for your now-departed sake, she smiles once more and is satisfied that, at the very least, she was able to keep smiling until the end, never letting you depart with worry and regret for her well-being.

[Writer’s Commentary: This my first time ever writing a second person POV reader fic, so I hope I did a good job and it wasn’t too obvious I’m an amateur! The reason I did this was because I feel like writing this in first or third person wouldn’t be as effective. First person wouldn’t give me the details I wanted and third person would be too strange, since I based the whole concept of Castorice being able to finally touch someone off of Trailblazer’s dilemma in the Castorice patch. I didn’t want to use Trailblazer because I feel like they wouldn’t act like this, so reader-insert it was. I know I might’ve made some lore and characterization inaccuracies, but I like the way this turned out. This was a little self-indulgent, as I often fantasize about cuddling Castorice, so I hope this didn’t feel too weird to others… I don’t like when things like cuddling or holding hands are romanticized, so I wanted to show a queerplatonic relationship where this happens as an aro ace person myself. I do worry it will be ignored and it might have come across as too romantic, but at least I was honest… I got very emotional near the end and actually started crying. I was so into it, probably because she’s one of my favorite characters. Also, this takes place before 3.2 and Trailblazer’s arrival, in case anyone was confused. That’s all I really got, so I hope you enjoyed reading this bizarre first-time experiment of mine. Find someone you can trust and don’t be alone all the time!]