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I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that we can't have a normal relationship. I really don't know what to say. I hate making you upset. I hate being upset. I hate feeling like I'm playing Russian roulette whenever we talk or whenever we are around each other. I'm not a gambling type of person so this makes me uncomfortable. This uneasy feeling I get when I can't stand up for myself and tell you what I need because you won't respect that boundary. Because you don't need to. Because there should be no boundaries. Because you gave me life therefore you have unlimited permission to invade and destroy as you see fit. I hate that it doesn't come off as concern it comes off as micro managing. That you can't trust what you've instilled in me. I hate that you put these sometimes imaginary yet prompted feelings on to me. Many of them do not exist. Some of them may but never to the degree that you expect. I hate that you fault me for things that I've done thinking it was in spite of you. I hate that you think that I fault you for things that you think that I did it to spite you. You are my mother and I never think ill of you. Just because I don't agree with what you say or how you say it or what you do and how you get it done does not discredit your method. Nor does my opinion need to be challenged. Everything does not need to be a challenge. We are a family. We should be able to feel the most comfortable with each other but instead we push each other beyond normal limits. I'm sorry.

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One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning for someday. And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.

John Green  (via oomshi)

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Ever find yourself wondering what different [vaginas] look like? Us too! helps us out with these brave and badass vulva illustrations at Scarleteen. They’re intended for educational purposes, but we think they’re awesome as pieces of art displaying the wide variety of anatomy [people with vaginas in] this world are proud to call their own. Watch out, these might not be safe for work (depending on where you work..)

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12 year old Vanessa VanDyke is being threatened with expulsion from Faith Christian Academy in Orlando unless she cuts her natural hair. Hair growing the way it does out of her head is considered a “distraction” by administrators. Yet another young Black girl forced to deal with the beauty politics and the politics of respectability that insist that not being White or adhering to those standards are an automatic detriment to education. Worse, she’s attended this school since 3rd grade and doesn’t want to have to leave her friends though she has been bullied by other kids for her hair. The consistent policing of Black women’s bodies starts young and continues right through college and the workplace. It is tiring and without logic beyond White supremacy, of course.

According to Local 10 in Orlando, she wore her hair like this all year. It’s a problem now because she is being bullied, and in a typical abuse culture riddled with victim blaming, the bullies are who needs to be coddled and protected, not her. 

I truly hope that whomever is ignorant on that school’s staff work things out with her parents or she finds a better school, though that will mean making new friends, which is challenging in adolescence at times. My larger hope is that Eurocentric beauty standards continue to unravel and continue to be stomped out of existence.

And nothing is wrong with her wearing her hair loose. Sometimes even Black people who claim to love natural hair only love it when elaborately styled, and those styles are very nice, but not the only way to wear natural hair.

And no Whites, I don’t want to hear about “rules” and “professionalism” until you explore what White supremacy and Whiteness actually mean. And don’t even try to conflate Whites’ mohawks etc. with Black women’s natural hair in an ahistorical way. And no some Black people, I don’t want to hear about perms being more “appropriate” and any respectability politics nonsense, until you explore how you internalize White supremacist thinking. Don’t come here with that.

I wish her and her family the best in this situation.

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1. Stop faking your fucking orgasms. Society already tells young men that they run the fucking universe - if they can’t turn your cunt into a shooting star then for god’s sake, let them know about it. 2. Once you’ve stopped faking your fucking orgasms, use this newfound honesty throughout the rest of your life - stop ordering coffee you don’t actually like; stop sitting at a desk and allowing people to treat you like shit in the hopes that a meek attitude will earn you a promotion (it won’t); stop telling people they can finish your food when you’re not actually done yet. These may seem petty, but they add up, just like every orgasm you didn’t actually get to have. 3. If you wanna dance all night, dance all fucking night. Dance all night even if you have work in the morning. The worst that will happen is you’ll drink RedBull all day and look like a zombie - pass it off as a head cold to the real zombies you work with and flick through the embarrassing photos you’re being tagged in as you pretend to take a shit for some peace and quiet. I promise, you’ll remember dancing all night in ten years, not the suspicious way your boss looked at you that morning. 4. If your ass looks big in that, that’s a good thing. 5. You will never be as young as you are this second. Embrace it. 6. Embrace the fact that you’re going to get older. Ask your boyfriend if he will still love you when you’re seventy and your tits are down to your knees. Look forward to this time - seventy year old women are allowed to do pretty much whatever they want, and no-one can stop them. You can carry candy in your bag and not share it with a single soul. You can stay home all day and cross-stitch expletives onto handkerchiefs for your grandchildren and slip them under the table out of sight of the people you raised. You can drink whisky at 10am. Every phase of your life is going to be amazing for different reasons. Embrace that. 7. A lot of people will pretend to love Bukowski. Don’t pretend to love Bukowski if you don’t love Bukowski. It’s overplayed and no-one will mind if you actually like Virginia Andrews instead - the people who do mind are boring.

Some more little life lessons, by Daisy Lola. (via spearmintblonde)

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People inspire you, or they drain you — pick them wisely.

Hans F. Hansen (via proudvaginaowner)

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A healthy relationship is one where two independent people just make a deal that they will help make the other person the best version of themselves.

Unknown   (via poisontome)

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#facts #imustbecrazy #changetheworld

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"Simplicity is beauty. Beauty is simplicity, nothing more, nothing less." -Oscar Wilde (at Château d'amour de la guerre et de la paix)

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I try to express it all and I just end up feeling stupid 😒😔😓😓😓😓

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#yoga #timessquare #athleta #solstice #solsticetsq #summersolstice #mindovermadness #om