coalecroux

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Pretzles part 2:

Gideon: You're wasting away, you're skin an' bones! I didn't wanna say anythin'.

Kremy: Every time...

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Kremy: Isn't that shit always like 90% pretzels?

Gideon: Well the last stuff was bugs, man. What's wrong with 90% pretzels!? What the hell's the matter with you?!!?

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I find this clip EXTREMELY hard to watch. But it is SO key to Kremy's characterization.

Kremy Lecroux wants to be smooth and on top of his game SO BAD!!! He doesn't even consider telling the truth.

Also how are him and Gid on the same page about ASKING THE KING??? THAT THE UPRISING IS AGAINST?? ABOUT THE CODE WORD FOR SAID UPRISING????

we need to write Kremy stupider. He is not good at this mastermind shit. And to be FAIR!!! It kinda tracks:

He's never needed to be a mastermind before. He did a bunch of silly cons with his himbo, tried busking but was bad at it, then ran a shitty carnival.

When he was working for Garou, you KNOW Kremy wasn't the fucking brains of the operation.

So the reason he's so BAD at all this shit, is he's never had real stakes. He's had to bargain himself out of things, sure.

He is not prepared for stakes. And he's a control freak. That's why he flips out as soon as things slip from his control. He starts fawning. He starts trying to make deals without thinking things through.

Then he shuts down.

BUT THEN ON THE OTHER HAND HE THINKS HE'S SO MUCH SMARTER THAN HE IS! He is so stupid that he thinks he's doing himself (and his team) a favour when he ropes them into another fucking LIE!!!!! BRO!!!!!

throttles him

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Kremy: (having psychedelic hallucinations) Oh my god I just feel so guilty for what I've done to you! Look at you, you're a fucking beast!

Gideon: (Uncontrollably drooling) Well...

*Pause*

Gideon: Wehehehehlllll thank you.

Kremy: (Spiraling) What have I done??

Gideon: Eheheh yeahhhh. I've been doin' squats, man! Gricko'd noticed it

Kremy: (having a Bad Time) Ughhh ouuhh

Gideon: I'm really flattered, I didn't think y'guys were payin' attention ahaheheheheh

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Kremy: D'you know how many bullywugsI had to pay basically nothing to? If you pay a lot of people basically nothing, I mean... it's--it's a lot of money!

Gideon: It ends up bein' somethin',

Kremy: It does!

So, herein lies the crux of their partnership. No matter what absolute insanity Kremy is trying to peddle, Gid is there. Agreeing. On his side. He has his back, and not just like... bodyguard way.

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Kremy: Look! He even knows about the time we salted the mines up in Grizzlepaw Mountains!

Gideon: He knows about the mines?!

Kremy: He knows about... ughhh

Gideon: You think he knows about... what else happened up in the Grizzlepaw mountains?

Kremy: Uhm.

Gideon: Does it say that?

Kremy: Oh, uh yeah he does.

Gideon: Awwghhh *tugs at the collar of his shirt, looking distressed*

Yeah I mean I think this confirms canonically Gid and Krem had their broke-back mountain moment up here.

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does anyone else think about how Gid and Kremy made 1 million gold pieces from their scams??? Like??? I know that's in revenue and not profit but still