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I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

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Because sometimes we all just need to see a guy head-bump a beautiful Beluga whale

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what the fuck

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Tumblr is the reason why I have something I call the cashier test which is, if i told this to a random cashier at the grocery store, would they think you're crazy at best or at worst would they be warranted in leaping over the counter and beating the shit out of you. Karl Marx mpreg is crazy, but not beating the shit out of you crazy. The cashier will probably talk about you to their coworkers and it might even make their day. Telling someone they're complicit in their own oppression by working a minimum wage job at a grocery store makes them warranted in leaping over the counter to beat the shit out of you.

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He means a little squeeze bottle with brine shrimp inside but… bottle feeding the loblings…

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I have a friend who has one biological and one adopted son and I found out he likes to tell people “my firstborn is six and my other child is eleven” which is hilarious.

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Various things that are called some variation of "pepper" in various languages:

"Pepper," seeds of the plant Piper nigrum, a.k.a. black pepper, used as a spice.

"Peppermint," a hybrid of watermint and spearmint.

The edible fruits of the plants of the genus Capsicum, known collectively as "peppers," which includes bell peppers, chili peppers, etc. (some European languages make a distinction between peppers and capsicums by using the word "paprika" for the latter. A word that is a direct cognate with pepper.)

Allspice, also known as "Jamaica pepper," "myrtle pepper," but also as "spice pepper" in Finnish and Swedish (I suppose as opposed to the kind of peppers that aren't used as spices?), the dried fruits of the plant Pimenta dioica. More closely related to myrtle, guava, and eucalyptus than pepper.

Horseradish, a plant of the family Brassicaceae, thus making it a relative of mustard, cabbage, and radish, known in some European languages as "pepper root."

Ginger snaps, biscuits flavored with ginger, known as "pepper cake" in many European languages.

"Sichuan peppers," the dried fruits of the genus Zanthoxylum. Related to neither black peppers nor capsicums, but part of the same family as citrus.

Undoubtedly forgetting at least some but anyway. Forgot why I was doing this.

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I loved when “Drift Compatible” entered pop lexicon cause we were in DESPERATE need for a way to platonically express “one of us to the other is as a limb to a body; we are a left and right feet of a dancer; we do not need to speak because any one word inspires an exchange of unspoken words that conveys a full conversation in which a mutual conclusion is determined in an instant”. Huge win for the QPRs out here

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Some improvised weapons are better than nothing. Others were so good that they became military issue across Europe for several centuries!

Anyway, here’s Patreon

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I find it funny that Wildberry may be seen by some as a very smooth and romantic guy writing lovely poems and sappy love letters when his offical Valentines Day promotional card literally only says:

(Chip’s card isn’t any better, I have no words for him.)

Look guys, listen. They both can’t flirt in words to save their asses what are you talking about-

If anything, the way I can see Wild “flirting” is directly pointing out what he admires about a cookie in a matter-of-fact way. And Chip can be a failure about whatever pick-up line he wants to say all he wants.

For these two, it’s gift giving and acts of service as a love language all the way babyyyy

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Nobody talks about this

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wheeeeeeeeee

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A really hilarious radioapple fic would be one where Alastor hears about Lucifer's "I am going to FUCK you/it's fuck you UP" mishap, and realizes that the king of hell just does NOT realize how to properly word things at ALL, ever.

And so when talking to him, Alastor just immediately translates it to the most logical (non-sexual) interpretation, and then just responds normally to it.

(Constantly correcting him when you know what he means is both a waste of time and not conducive to following Charlie's "please just get along!" rules, so Alastor doesn't bother anymore.)

Lucifer: "We should go get railed." (Translation: there's a cool train that takes you to an interesting part of the Pride Ring, and I think we should go check it out.)

Alastor: *sigh* "If we must, I have room in my schedule on Saturday morning."

Lucifer: (something something about wanting to be ran a train on)

Which is all well and good, but Alastor might have forgotten to tell everyone else that was what he was doing. So now everyone thinks him and Lucifer are not only hooking up, but loudly and without shame just talking about it in public.

Both Angel and Charlie are in hysterics - for completely opposite reasons.