coffinofjulia

[coffinofjulia]

I know you like TCOAAR and stand up for mods in the fandom, so I wanted to ask, is that new Andrew and Julia mod good? Just curious if it's worth trying out.

alrighty i'm praying you saw my panicked posts while i was half asleep but also like. you know, normally i have a lot of respect for TCOAAL modmaking. i don't actually really play mods for TCOAAL really (i sometimes watch fropamine's walkthroughs of them), it's just TCOAAR has a really soft spot in my heart and even that one i've fallen out of love with (but i still wanna play chapter 2) but in general i will say i actually don't have a lot of opinions on TCOAAL mods. that being said, i do kind of respect (usually) even the most dogshit OOC mods and fanfics as products of fan love and fan labor, which is something i highly value.

so i cannot stress. the Coffin of Andy and July (lol) mod is like. actively malicious.

the TCOAAJ mod is written by a transphobe. they were permabanned from the subreddit for this. they are also an anti that rants on-and-on about how gravecest is disgusting and gross and Andrew/Julia is the TRUE healthy ship and reduces Julia to being incredibly OOC to serve as her mouthpiece. fun fact: that incident they said got them permabanned (which you see here, saying she's "not a real woman") involves a friend i've had long before TCOAAL so i'm especially. bitter lol

and the just being an anti shit (there's a lot more if you go through the page. this is just a quick skim if you search "incest"):

this post would be like 50 million miles long if i got screenshots of everything (and also shoutout to @woodchipp for liveblogging this disaster of a mod to me watching fropamine we had fun laughing at it and also got a lot of good screenshots from it, we didn't learn later until how vile the author was) but here's like a few key choice moments that really stand out to me

(the last retort is funny to me it's one of the closest moments Andrew has to being IC in this mess. saying something like this SPECIFICALLY to Julia to make Ashley look better and get under her skin)

like.

the mod has a pretty specific agenda. both Andrew and Julia are horribly OOC, but instead of that OOC just being the result of a fanfic author who just can't nail the characterization but is still writing their AU fanfic because they love it, TCOAAJ is pretty clearly born from a place of spite. it is born from the author's personal genuine hatred for the fandom at large and gravecest and it uses Julia as it's vehicle to be able to rant against the ship and fandom. the author is a bigot who rubs elbows with pro-life conservatives and even outright said to one of my friends in that screenshot that you'll "never be a woman," which may not exactly correlate to this mod, but proves her to be a fucking rancid human being in general even if this mod was better.

i cannot unrecommend it enough. only time a mod has made me like actually angry in hindsight. if you really want to experience the trainwreck where even people in the comments have called out the author, watch fropamine's walkthrough of it on youtube instead. if you are an Andrew/Julia shipper and want fan content please just go read some fanfics instead of playing this, it's not worth it.

[coffinofjulia]

Julia, do you have some nice memories you don't mind sharing?

s-sorry this took a while!

i... vaguely recall something. i don't have a lot of canon memories, b-but the family would go to sweden to see family a few times a year, a-and we'd usually go by boat given how close it was. and i... always loved that. just looking out my window and by the railings to see the baltic sea.

... m-maybe i like the ocean in general? i could see that...

[coffinofjulia]

hey, i've been thinking I may be a median system myself and my name happens to be Julia too!!

o-oh!!! i'm glad you're finding out things more about yourself, Julia!!!

i-if you have questions, feel free to send more anons! we'll try to answer however we can!

[coffinofjulia]

Are you doing well Julia? You are kinda quiet recently...

y-yeah! i've been alright, thank you!

sorry... w-we're not always too active on our blogs in our system, b-but! if @aqours and @tcoaal are active, t-that means we can always be reached! 💛

[coffinofjulia]

HIIII !!!! HII JULIA HIII HELLOOOO!!! I MISSED YOU!!! ♡

h-hello!!! i hope you've been doing well!!!

[coffinofjulia]

No hate to Julia but people who like her only because "she is better than a psycho sister" gets to my nerves like I thought we already clear that Andrew and Ashley both have their influence on each other, both see each other as their own property. Plus do you saw how cute schoolgirl Ashley was? I would probably want to keep her forever too!

It is certainly a shame, because I do think I often see people either only liking Julia because she’s “safe” to like, as you say, or plainly refusing to believe that she could actually be someone not somehow secretly fucked up and evil. Both cases are quite saddening to me, because both are just people refusing to engage with the game and its writing.

Julia is absolutely an interesting character in her own right, especially when you begin analysing pretty much all of her phone calls (I think I have some tags lying around on this blog somewhere about how interesting her episode 1 phone call is knowing what we do about her character now) but she’s not a good character just because she’s the “non-incest option” or “not as rancid as Ashley”. If you truly see Ashley as purely a burden to Andrew, or think the game would be better without the incest, I don’t know what to tell you. Julia and Andrew’s relationship is interesting to me because it is also terrible, just in a very different way to Andrew and Ashley’s.

Julia’s final letter to Andrew in Shots and Such about having been afraid of him is absolutely fascinating, especially when paired with a lot of the flashbacks we get of her in the cliffhanger ending, because we see and hear about the kind of treatment which sort of seems so right on the surface, but we have the benefit of seeing Andrew’s actual thoughts and knowing just how shallow most of it is.

Andrew: “(That’s right, I love Julia. She’s nice and, uhh… kind.)”

Certainly the words of someone who knows and cares about who they’re talking about here………

But in all seriousness, thinking that Julia is just simply a better option than Ashley fundamentally misunderstands the Andrew and Ashley dynamic, as well as honestly demeaning Julia quite a bit? Surely it should be evident that if you (not you specifically, anon, just ‘you’ as in someone) supposedly like Julia for not being as bad as Ashley, then you either don’t respect, Ashley, Julia, or both.

It’s like you say, anon! Andrew and Ashley both need each other around, and see each other as property that they are owed, so of course they can never truly stay away for long. Andrew views Renee parentifying him to take care of Ashley as her having given him Ashley to keep, his nightmare to forever love and then hate and then love again, and Ashley very genuinely believing Andy’s forced promises to Leyley are binding because she very much needs them to be binding to validate herself. He’s owed Ashley because he views her as a creature given to him, and she’s owed Andrew because he’s the only one who fulfils her needs, so once he’s played the part of her Andy in the toy box, that’s how she expects him to stay.

We are shown very clearly that even whilst separated for Ashley in the year they were apart, even and whilst actively on dates with Julia, Andrew can only think of Ashley for a reason.

[coffinofjulia]

Sends a 💋:D

:D

y-yay!

[coffinofjulia]

Julia from the Coffin of Andy and Leyley needs a kiss! 💋

Requested by Anonymous

[coffinofjulia]

If there's one thing I learned in my time with my ex it's that you can have a "love" for someone who did wrong by you--a respect for who they are as a living being who walks this earth with you, shares this world with you, experiences life alongside you--even if you know being apart from them is better. Even if you detest them. Even if you fear them. Even if you know that you should keep them far away.

Love comes in all shapes and forms. Do not let the love that you may still carry feel like a burden or a fault of yourself, or your host. To love those we walk the planet with is to have empathy, and that is never something to be ashamed to be capable of.

Love them out of respect for their lives, and understand that you are protecting yourself by doing what's necessary.

-🚬🍃

h-hello! i'm sorry i didn't get to this sooner... w-we've been pretty busy this week and forgot to check our inboxes as much, but thank you so much.

i-it really means a lot, i hope i didn't give the wrong idea by not replying to this. because like... it's true.

stardust... feels... i guess something that resembles love even for those who kind of, well, ruined her life. a-and...

... i just can't bring myself to hate andrew and ashley no matter how hard i try, more than that even...

yeah. we did what we had to do. w-we could have stayed with that group of friends, at the cost of betraying everything we've believed in and who we are, but we didn't... a-and even if they hate us, that doesn't mean we have to stoop to that level.

t-thank you. it means a lot. 💛

[coffinofjulia]

Hey Julia! I was at a cafe today and saw a bunch of cute drinks, now I'm wondering, do you have a favorite frappe or sweet drink you like to order in these places?

Personally, the sweetest are always the best

-🐦‍⬛

h-hello! it's funny because i think like... i-i'd probably like coffee, but this body isn't used it to, we mostly drink monster when we need caffeine, so i don't really have opinions on this

b-but! she's been thinking of trying out coffee to help cut back on our sugar intake, s-so maybe we'll start trying it out soon!

[coffinofjulia]

https://www.tumblr.com/softandwigglybones/778840914328256512/or-you-can-go-into-the-html-post-editor-where-you

https://www.tumblr.com/jmorpc/182759116850/how-to-use-coloured-text-on-desktop-tumblrs

I saw the comment on your pinned lamenting the fact you can't use yellow on your posts, so I thought I'd drop these here. Hope it helps

I'm sorry you've been having a hard time online lately. And... I'm sorry for everything that happened in source, I really am

- Leah (an Ashley Graves fictive)

t-thank you so much! that means a lot, Leah! i-i'll try to see how these work with my blog, thank you!

t-thank you again... that was rough, b-but things are better now!

[coffinofjulia]

... t-the last time i saw Andrew... i helped get some bolt cutters, s-so he could get out of being chained to a radiator.

and then, after he asked to get back together with me, i... declined, a-and i gave him the letter i wrote.

... t-that was the last time i spoke to "my" Andrew.

and... t-that is where all my source memories end. nothing after that.

a-and here i am now in this... world with a body that wasn't my own.

i-it's OK, honestly, but... i really do... mean it.

i... i... m-maybe it's a pipe dream... but just like those fics that help them out in things after Shots and Such, my own canon...

... n-no matter how much i suffered because of Andrew and Ashley- and i suffered greatly because of Andrew and Ashley, i-i...

despite everything i hope they're ok. 'my' Andrew and 'my' Ashley... i-i hope... a miracle like one of those fics on ao3 happened, and they could be happy. no matter how undeserved it is, even if it's just karma that it's become like this for them, i would... prefer, from the bottom of my heart, that they can be happy. i d-don't care about justice. i don't care about karma. i don't care if that means getting away with all those awful things they've done to others, without a single shred of justice in the world. even if it means... that the death of the only person in the entire world who ever truly unconditionally cared about me was for absolutely nothing without justice ever being dealt.

... i-i want Andrew and Ashley to be happy. i can't ever see misery and abuse as a punishment, or a karmic retribution dealt.

[coffinofjulia]

hiii julia! im a bit calmer this time because i kinda relate to what you said. i'm not a fictive or plural, it's just me but i feel the same about wanting to be loved.... and wanting to be loved unconditionally. being in the tcoaal fandom and being attracted to these characters as a selfshipper is a bit hard, hehe ^^; i do wish i felt more confident to just sorta allow myself to let them love me back but when an entire cacophony of people are saying "no one else! only each other!" in my ear... i internalized it a lot...

hahaha! sorry!! i just... yeah. that's all i wanted to say to you. i hope that you have a wonderful and awesome day!!! bye julia!!!! ♡

t-thank you so much! i-i can imagine... even if a lot of us are terrible in this source, w-we have a lot of interesting characters!

i'm glad someone else can understand these feelings and relate... i-it really means a lot to hear that, thank you! i-it's a struggle, to unlearn things like that, especially once internalized... b-but we gotta be strong, and keep moving one step at a time, every day.

thank you so much for your kind ask. i-i hope you have an amazing day, too!

[coffinofjulia]

... i... i-i've been... doing a lot of thinking. of my feelings, and the reason i... e-exist... even though Stardust has moved on from those people... a-and i should be up front i think, i-in case it makes any Ashley or Andrew uncomfortable, how i feel about some things...

m-my... the core of my existence is a desire to be loved. to be... loved unconditionally. just as... this body, as stardust has done so many times, even if it only ever... e-ends badly to us.

i want to be loved. i want to be adored. e-even though i stutter, even though we have self esteem issues. h-ha, for as angry as we got the other day, we don't really... i-if you're a rando on the internet we'll fight back, but if you're someone we have even a modicum of affection for, we'll just...

... take it.

is it any wonder, this was such... an appealing shape to latch onto? a-and even after it ended badly, to some extent...

stardust still loved the people who hurt her so bad. and i am an existence born from those same exact feelings.

... t-this is all a really long way of just saying despite... everything... i still.

even though it was all fake, just like her experiences, with people who just barely tolerated her existence because she was a useful existence to them, so i, who was a convenient existence solely because it helped him pretend to be normal...

... that yes, i still love him. i'm not capable of not doing so. the same way... stardust can't help, despite everything, despite all that suffering, still love........ them, even though they've emotionally moved on from the relationship.....

... b-but, and this is important... everything i wrote in my letter to Andrew... i'll stand by it.

i-i'm not interested in fictive/kin dating. i-i don't want to find... my Andrew. i already know what he's doing... i guess, you know, if our hosts liked eachother, a-and it's mutual between us sure (it wouldn't even need to be Andrew) b-but if i can be honest...

this... whole, being single thing... is working for me. and i... i want to be single... s-so even if i met an Andrew or someone that was interested... i-i think what i'd say is...

"Thank you. I love you too."

"But if it's OK, I'd really prefer just being friends."

[coffinofjulia]

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

Are you a fictive from a controversial source? Are you a fictive of someone immoral? Have you ever been scared to talk in a server because of judgement? Then join…

Ithaca *ੈ✩‧₊˚

18+ Discord server for controversial fictives, by controversial fictives

If you’ve ever split from TCOAAL, BTD, TPOF, Slashers, dark romance novels or just a media that’s been “cancelled”, join our judgement free zone today!

(This server is for DID/OSDD systems, aka people with dissociative disorders. We are not a roleplay server nor are singlets allowed in this server! Sorry!)

.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・.

Join now

[coffinofjulia]

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

Are you a fictive from a controversial source? Are you a fictive of someone immoral? Have you ever been scared to talk in a server because of judgement? Then join…

Ithaca *ੈ✩‧₊˚

18+ Discord server for controversial fictives, by controversial fictives

If you’ve ever split from TCOAAL, BTD, TPOF, Slashers, dark romance novels or just a media that’s been “cancelled”, join our judgement free zone today!

(This server is for DID/OSDD systems, aka people with dissociative disorders. We are not a roleplay server nor are singlets allowed in this server! Sorry!)

.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・.

Join now

[coffinofjulia]

julia!!!!!! i havent seen another julia fictive besides ours holy shit /pos :0 -Ashley (or 🦇 system anon lmao)

o-oh!!! hello!!! i-it's nice to meet you! i-i hope you're having a great day!