coginthemachine

[coginthemachine]

I hate when a tiny stupid thing pushes you over the edge and makes you freak the fuck out because it makes you look like a completely irrational tar pit of a human being. Like no I promise this is warranted just maybe not about that specifically I swear I'm well adjusted. Come closer stick your fingers in my cage

[coginthemachine]

having a fucking meltdown in the airport bathroom as every single part of this trip to TX to see my dying grandma has gone wrong but my body has decided the tears won’t come so I guess I’ll just fucking stare at the stupid fucking bathroom stall and scream internally

[coginthemachine]

[coginthemachine]

Who made this edit, it's the most valid one

[coginthemachine]

[coginthemachine]

[coginthemachine]

Your regular reminder that trickle-down economics is a cruel joke designed by the wealthy.

[coginthemachine]

can’t wait to be done with work and gym today so I can join the war effort on Super Earth

[coginthemachine]

SUPER EARTH IS BEING INVADED

[coginthemachine]

[coginthemachine]

Some guy I met a week ago: V, you have truly, truly changed my life for the betta. You saved my children, my job an cured my cybercancer when you gunned down those 500 drugged out homeless people. You are a gift. I would kiss you on the lips and have sex with you if you weren't Ayy-mab. I can now enta tha next chapta of my life. Here- I want you to hav my car. Its the least I can do.

Me: uh. uhhh... I actually prefer the bus can you just give me a shotgun that deals poison damage or som- [phone starts ringing]

My Landlord, Over The Phone: Hey what the fwack my gairij looks like a fackin episode of Wacky Races dis aint a mansion gonkhead

Me: Yknow its really anachronistic to refrence a Hannah-Barbera cartoon from 1968 nearly a century later. [my cyber eyes catch sight of a guy I can murder without legally getting in trouble] I'll be right back

[coginthemachine]

[coginthemachine]

The fact that I’m in the historic preservation field and still everyone I know is celebrating the Nottoway plantation burning down because we have standards

[coginthemachine]

yeah sorry im the annoying strawman leftist who you cant watch fantasy with because when they introduce a kingdom and expect you to sympathize with the ruling family i roll my eyes and make an exaggerated jerk off motion

[coginthemachine]

it’s always when you open tumblr in public when an 1866 painting of a vagina shows up on your dash