coichii

[coichii]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ── loose - bang chan

—(🎧)—> when your company finds a music producer for your new upcoming summer project, you weren’t expecting to fall for him & his charms.

pairing - producer!chan ♥︎ idol!fem!reader

genre - idol AU

word count - 4.2k

warnings - ITZY mentioned (Yuna), HYBE idol is fictional, insecurities, brief mentions of stalking, and panic attack + panic attack descriptions

“We think he has the perfect style that would suit you and your fans.” Your managers voice cuts through your thoughts.

It’s early april, so the thought of gearing up for a summer comeback is enough to make your head spin. You had already released music about a month ago, releasing an entire mini album that satisfied a lot of your fans. Why do you already have to prepare for more music?

But that’s the life of an idol, especially an idol as famous and loved as you. There’s no resting in this war you love with your whole heart and have given up your entire life for.

You’re the most popular solo artist under your company JYP, constantly charting #1 and selling out various concert venues and festivals. JYPS little gem, they called you. So to say you had a reputation to live up to was an understatement.

Ofcourse your company wanted to hire the best producer for you, and they were pretty confident they found the perfect one. Somebody under your own company.

“His name is Christopher Bahng. He has tons of successful songs with his name written on it.” His name registers in your mind. You’ve never heard of him before, but you trust your manager enough to agree.

“Sure, that’s not a problem! I’ll check out some of his work once I get back home.” You smile, standing up from the meeting table and saying bye to your manager, leaving the room to start making your way to your small apartment.

It’s not too far away from the studio, a nice & safe area with not too many people. It’s the perfect place to not get caught, that would be a whole different situation.

You’ve dealt with that before. The constant swarming, almost having panic attacks at the airport, constantly looking behind your shoulder because somebody may be following you. It’s all a lot, but it’s something you’ve learnt to deal with.

That’s why the weight of this new project is stressing you out more than usual. You’ve felt your presence in the industry slowly slipping. It’s a common feeling among idols, but you can’t he

The music you release performs well, of-course. You still have fans and all, but when there’s a new sensation in town, everyone in the industry feels it, and your just getting the worse of it.

A new solo artist under HYBE just debuted not too long ago, you don’t even remember her name. What you do remember though is the feeling of losing to her on M Countdown.

All you need is to know that this new producer that your team is recommending to you is good enough to push your over the edge and back on top.

Getting home, you quickly do your night routine, brushing your teeth & taking a brisk shower and putting on pajamas. The eagerness of seeing his work is getting to you, causing you to speed through the rest of your routine like lighting before finally looking up his name on your phone.

When you searched him up, not only did tons of songs you’ve heard of and listen to regularly pop up, but so did his face.

He’s.. handsome?

Now that you think about, you think you’ve seen his face around the company building sometimes. Usually in the cafe or the corridors.

You smile looking through the list of hit songs that he’s produced. Song after song you recognize. You know you’re in really good hands now.

Checking his credits makes you feel almost star struck, and that’s coming from an idol like you. There’s no way you won’t be Koreas hot topic in about 3 months.

The feeling of exhaustion leaves your body, being replaced by a new feeling of excitement, something you don’t think you’ve felt so severely since debut.

You honestly can’t wait to get started.

←♥︎→

“So, everything’s in order?” Yuna asks you, sipping on a cup of coffee in the cafe you were both sitting in. It’s a common place for idols to take a break at, and you were just in the middle of vocal training when your manager sent you the phone number of Christopher so you two can start talking.

“Yup! I’ll text him in a moment so we can start planning!” You enthusiastically respond, taking a sip of your own drink before scanning the faces of the room.

Member of twice, that stylist you hate, Christopher Bahng, member of-… wait, Christopher is here?

You don’t know why you suddenly get nervous, a thin blush running through your body. You slightly turn your head away, but Yuna being your best friend notices this immediately.

“What’s up with you?” She asks, tilting her head slightly like a confused puppy.

“Huh? Nothing.” You lie, but she sees right through you.

Turning your head to the direction yours had just been facing, she spots the man you had been talking about. Her group having had worked with him in the past, she recognizes him immediately.

“Ohhhh, he’s here. But why do you care? He comes here all the time and so do you.” She analyzes, coming up with a conclusion faster than you would’ve hoped.

“Wait, do you… have a crush on him or something?” She asks, eyes completely innocent with reasonable accusation.

“No! No no no no! I’ve never even met him before and plus even if I did there’s still the dating ban and I can’t risk putting my career in jeop-“

“Y/n, I was just asking.” She interjects, a chuckle making its way through her lips as you groan and cover your head with your hands.

“So… you should text him then!” She changes the subject, slyly smiling as you raise your head and glare at her.

“I will I promise but not with you staring at me like a delinquent highschooler. You sigh, slurping up the remainder of your coffee before standing up abruptly.

“Well, my breaks almost over. See you later, Yuna!” You wave her goodbye, turning back to head up to the training rooms.

You think about what Yuna said on your way there, her words spinning through your mind. A blush creeps its way up your face, causing you to groan.

You honestly don’t think it’s anything like that. I mean, you’ve never even met him before. It’s more like admiration, you reason. Yeah… admiration!

Your thoughts remind you to text him, silencing the unreasonable turns of your stomach and sending him a quick & simple text.

—

you: hi! I’m y/n, my manager handed me your number. I hope we can start working together soon!

—

You stuff your phone in your pocket like a kid hiding their phone from their nosey parents. There’s not even anyone around as you slip into your training room.

Even as you practice and try your best to focus, Yunas words run rampant in your head. It causes a headache to form, loud & bulging.

You hate when your mind falls into this state. A mindset that causes you to focus on one thing while also focusing on nothing at all. It’s the feeling of bells ringing simultaneously yet not quite at the same rate. It’s beyond exhausting.

it’s so exhausting that you don’t even notice that he texted you back hours ago after you had already gotten home. All you can do is sleep as a confused Christopher from across the screen wonders why your eager text is leaving his response unanswered.

←♥︎→

It’s a normal morning. The coffee served warm & fresh from the company’s cafe is enough to melt away the sickening feeling of fatigue that set in the other day.

The comforting warmth drips down your throat, soothing your strained vocal cords and warming your empty stomach. There’s nothing that could change how calm you’re fee-

“Hey, y/n. I got your text and responded yesterday but I didn’t get a response. I just wanted to check to make sure you received it?” A voice cracks through your thoughts, causing you to look up from the mug you were holding in your hand. It doesn’t take long for you to register his face, and when you do…

“O-oh! Uh, hi Christopher, was it?” He nods in response, clearly a bit thrown off from your sudden stuttering.

The bit of akward silence sets in, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach and the sound of artificial crickets to start chirping.

“Wait..” the realization sets in. As far as you’re aware, you never got a text. “I didn’t know you responded. Let me check that.”

You do, and like he said, his response sits there on your phone, the blue tint of texts radiating onto the red of your cheeks.

“Wow, I-I’m so sorry I had no idea that you messaged me. I was so exhausted last night and it must have completely slipped my mind to check my texts before I went to bed.” You explain, a sheepish grin crawling onto your lips.

A giggle makes its way from Christopher, a cute, simple sound that forms dimples on his cheeks. “Ahh, don’t worry about it. I just wanted to make sure you got it.”

You twiddle with your fingers, and embarrassed feeling engulfing your mind for no good reason. He already said it was okay, so why is your stomach bubbling like that.

“So…” he starts, his Aussie accent making you feel the beats of your chest. “Why don’t we go start now?”

Your eyes widen, stomach doing flips in your body. You’ve worked with countless sets of people & producers before, so why is that one sentence making you so nervous?

“Right now?” You ask, making sure to verify before he smiles and nods.

“Yeah, I work better in the mornings anyway. Besides, you seemed pretty eager. Do you not want t-“

“No, no! It’s not that I promise. I’m just a little star struck to be working with someone as talented as you.” You interrupt, stopping him from questioning if you wanted a different producer. “But yes, we can start now.”

“That’s flattering coming from somebody like you. If anything, I’m star struck to be working with the company’s princess.” He compliments, slowly walking away from the cafe towards his studio you assume. You quickly chug the rest of your drink and follow him.

“Thank you, Christopher.” You thank him. You thank him, smiling as you walk towards the studio.

“Please” he says, opening the door to the spacious studio. “Call me Chan”

His studio is cold, the stiff breeze hitting you the moment you walk into the room. There’s a small black couch pushed against the farthest wall of the room, the led lights flashing across its leather surface.

Even though the studio is cold, it was a comforting warmth to it. There’s blankets and pillows sprawled around the room.

“Ignore the mess, I was up late last night working.” He sheepishly laughs, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. “Come, we can start talking.”

He leads you to sit down on the couch, him sitting adjacent to you in a small chair of the same material and style. You don’t know why you suddenly feel insecure.

You don’t typically get this much creative control over your music, so the feeling of being able to tell a producer what you want to do straight up feels new, exciting, and scary.

“So, tell me what you were thinking.” He puts the spotlight onto you, looking at you in a way that makes you feel nervous.

“I was thinking it could be something refreshing while also having a summer feeling. Kind of like lemonade on a warm summer day…y’know?” You explain, stomach curling at the sight of his slightly furrowed brow.

What if he thought your explanation was weird or he doesn’t get it or-

“I get what you’re saying. So you want it to be exciting but not overbearing. Light, kind of indie?” He asks, explaining what you wanted better than you could explain it yourself.

“Yes! That’s exactly what I want!” You exclaim, a light feeling being placed in your heart instead of the anxious one that was there at first.

After your confirmation, it’s easy for Chan to begin working on the beat, creating endless melodies that are each better than the last. It’s liking working with the god of music.

The way you’re staring at him is with stars in your eyes, the admiration for his work reaching new heights now that you’re seeing it face to face. You don’t even recognize you’re staring at him like this, but he does. He had for a while.

He noticed the moment he saw you in the cafe the other day, accidentally over hearing your conversation with Yuna. Deep down, he was wishing that you would go talk to him.

He’s been staring at your pretty self ever since you walked into the company for the first day on the job. He had just began his producing career not to long ago, but all he wanted to do was make songs for you.

Seeing you at the company, on stage, on billboards & adds around the city, it all made him appreciate you and your beauty even more.

To say he was delighted to get a message from your manager saying you were interested in working with him was an understatement. He always found you absolutely enchanting, and the chance to work with you made him feel a passion like he hadn’t before for producing.

“Great.” He smiles again, flashing those pearly whites in your face. “Then we can get started.”

←♥︎→

The producing stage was exciting, but exhausting as usual. Making a beat to both of yours satisfaction to working on lyrics, it took more time than you could have ever imagined. At first you were complaining about preparing for a comeback so early but now you’re wishing your manager had given you a heads up.

Chan was an absolute saint, helping you through it and teaching you things you didn’t know about producing. He knew you were new to this, and he wanted to do everything he could to help you understand.

It didn’t take long to get close to him. He feels like a warm cup of tea on a brisk autumn morning, something calming yet soothing. The perfect blend of blistering hot black tea.

The way he would explain difficult terminology to you, putting his hands over yours and guiding the mouse in your grasp. Your heart beat in your chest as did his.

You pushed it off as admiration, the need to focus on the song outweighs the trouble that stirred up inside your stomach & mind. Even if it kept you up at night, even if it caused Yuna to look at you crazy when you denied the crush with rosy pink cheeks.

You’re an idol after all. The years spent building a fan base, training your ass off, taking hate from random strangers and not being able to say anything about it to keep your “perfect” schtick from crumbling beneath your feet. There’s no need in losing all that hard work for a man that you’re not even sure likes you.

But on his side, he’s begging for you to see how into you he is. Are you truly oblivious to the way he looks at you? It has his head so dizzy that he’s convinced you just are ignoring him.

The way his eyes shine when he looks at you trying to understand how to produce, the way he watches you in awe as you sing in the recording booths, there’s no way you can be oblivious, right?

But you are, or atleast that’s what you tell yourself when the thought of him keeps you up at night. You tell yourself the same thing over and over again.

“I need to focus on my career”

And you do, of-course. Even if it means ignoring the tell tale signs that he desperately wants you to reciprocate.

←♥︎→

“Y/n, you need to go up and octave on this last part of the line.” Chan says for the umpteenth time. His voice is growing tense, and so is yours.

“Yes, I know I know. I’ll try again.” You sigh, drawing in a deep breath before trying to sing a certain line again.

You’re in the last stage of recording, and it’s early June. That means teasers have already been released and it’s building hype all around the media. That also means the pressure is on.

Recording hasn’t been finished, but choreo hasn’t even been started. You’re pretty sure the choreographer you’re working with has already started working on it from the demo, but there’s going to be changes once she gets the official version.

There’s a particular line, a high note in the last line of the bridge that is stressing you out and consuming your mind. Over and over it’s been repeated to you by Chan that you need to go an octave higher, but there’s this feeling in your chest that’s telling you that it’s not possible.

You perform it again, voice quivering the moment you get to the high note. You mumble a quiet sorry before trying again. Again. Again. Again. Fuck, why can’t you just do it?

“Hey y/n, maybe we should take a break, yeah?” He suggest, taking quick notice of your shaky lips and hands, not to mention the watering of your eyes.

“No-, it’s fine. I’ve got this I’ve just gotta get my shit together and I can do it. I need to do it.” You ramble, the breath in your body quickening.

What’s this feeling? You’ve only felt like this once before. It was the day a song of yours released, and you were so so proud of it. The public didn’t think the same. Why are the memories coming back as everything goes dark?

Wait, why’s everything going dark? You don’t know what’s happening you stumble lightly to the ground, your ears ringing and stomach growing nauseas. You think you can hear Chan in the background. What’s he saying, you have no clue. All you can focus on is the blaring headache tearing through your brain like a tornado.

“Y/n? Y/n what’s going on, huh? Are you okay. Shit— hey everything will be okay, yeah? I’m here. I’m here.” His heart sinks once he recognizes you symptoms.

He instantly runs towards you, crouching to the floor as you place your hand on your chest, trying to make sense of the feelings and pain your experiencing right now.

“Chan? Chan what’s going on?!” You ask, voice panicked. Chan doesn’t know what to do except for grab your hands and put them in his own, placing your palms against his chest.

“Shh, everything is okay. I just need you to breathe for me, okay?” He says, and you try, but it’s nearly impossible to stop the quickness of your breathing .

“I-I can’t do it. I can’t I—“

“Yes you can. You can do it and I know you can. Just focus on your hands. You can hear my breathing. Copy that. Just copy me and you’ll be okay.”

His words strike a certain determination in you, and you immediately try to focus your attention on your hands to match his rhythm. It’s no easy task, but after a while you’re able to match him, heart rate coming down from its previous jet like speed.

Chan takes notice of your relaxing breath, sighing in relief for a moment, but tensing up again once he takes notice of your pearl like eyes watering up with tears.

Red hot tears roll down your cheeks calmly, eyes itchy and irritated as your cheeks go red.

You’re so embarrassed. You’re so embarrassed that you just broke down crying in front of somebody that makes your heart flutter like never before.

Those thoughts get washed out of your mind when Chan grabs a hold of your cheek, wiping the tears from your face with a single thumb, flashing a comforting yet somber smile in your path.

Immediately, all rationale you had left in your body goes out the window. While he stares at your eyes, searching them for an answer, your eyes are glancing at his lips.

You’re not sure what possessed you to do it, but all of a sudden you find yourself connecting your lips with his.

His hands stop stroking your cheek, freezing up and shaking slightly. He’s so caught off guard, eyes widening profusely once your lips touch his.

You pull away once he doesn’t kiss you back, unease settling into your skin, producing a cold sweat.

“I’m sorry, I- I don’t know why I did that. Oh god you probably think I’m wei-“

He cuts your self deprecating speech with his lips, pressing deep and wrapping his arms around your waist.

The kiss crushes you in the best way possible. The feeling is akin to gentle rain on a spring morning, lips soaking into each other.

The warmth that radiates off his skin is like no other. Not once have you ever felt this way about someone else, usually too busy to focus on futile things such as romance.

However, this feeling is new. The way his lips feel on yours makes you feel like you’d be willing to give up the idol life if it meant you could kiss him all day.

And you meant that.

“Hey, y/n? He asks, voice tender. You hun in response, lips dangerously close.

“Can I take you out tonight? He asks, tilting his head to the side.

“Only if we can do that again.” You respond, voice teasing and flirty. All Chan does is smirk, flashing aggressively attractive dimples your way.

He dives back into another kiss, devouring your lips like it’s the last meal he’ll ever get to eat & he’s starving.

←♥︎→

Choreography, a person who hates working outs worst enemy.

It’s late June now, and recording is all wrapped up. Release date grows nearer and nearer, but you’re not as stressed as you were before.

Why you may ask? Because you and Chan have been going out for a month. The only stressor on your mind is wondering why he hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend yet.

Maybe it’s early, but you don’t care. You’re addicted to his lips, his eyes, laugh, smile, dimples, humor, and everything else. Kissing him had always been the highlight of your day, making you want to do it all the time. Especially as he stares at you intensely on the couch in the dance room.

He asked to watch you perform your choreography “to see if there needed to be any last minute changes”. You were oblivious to the fact that this wasn’t his intent, but you shouldn’t have been by the way he was licking his lips as he watches you dance.

It’s no secret between the two of you that he finds you extremely attractive, but he’s not sure you truly understand how attractive that he finds you.

He would worship the ground you walk on if he could. Those feelings are only amplified as he watches you twist and then your body in a particularly skimpy outfit, eyes boring into his with an evil intent.

“So,” you start, walking over to him smiling. “Whatcha think?”

He smirks, his eyes knowing as you sit on the empty space next to him. He’s looking at the beads of sweat rolling down your body, how your breath is quite full yet, how your thighs are almost fully exposed.

“Honestly, I couldn’t really focus. You look to good.” He doesn’t hold back the truth, placing a hand on your cheek and causing a rise in your heart rate.

“Cmon! I’m being serious.” You pout, cheeks poking out to which Chan kisses them. It doesn’t take long for his lips to make their way to yours.

“I am being serious y/n. You really don’t know what you do to me and how you make me feel.”

He connects his lips to yours after he’s finished speaking, swallowing every groan & moan you release from your lips.

“Y/n.” He chokes out from a whine. “I need you.”

“Well then.” You smirk. “You better prove it.”

←♥︎→

The song released about 3 months ago. It charted #1 for weeks, taking the idol industry by storm. 5 music show wins for it aswell, your highest you ever got. You were so damn proud of yourself, but you were even more grateful for Chan.

Speaking of Chan, he just arrived home now, unlocking the door to your apartment with the spare keys you gave him and immediately crashing down on your chest once he spots you laying on your bed.

“I saw your performance today, baby. It was so good. I’m so proud of you, ynnie.” He smothers your face in his kisses, pressing his love deep into your body.

“Thanks baby. It’s really late though, get some sleep.” You respond, stroking the loose strands of hair with your warm hands.

“Yeah yeah I know. You better sleep some too.” He mumbles, body already slipping into a deep sleep.

It’s easy to feel and be this relaxed with him. The feeling of knowing you can relax and let yourself loose with him is like a feeling you’ve never experienced with anyone else.

And you wouldn’t give it up for the world.

[coichii]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ── loose - bang chan

—(🎧)—> when your company finds a music producer for your new upcoming summer project, you weren’t expecting to fall for him & his charms.

pairing - producer!chan ♥︎ idol!fem!reader

genre - idol AU

word count - 4.2k

warnings - ITZY mentioned (Yuna), HYBE idol is fictional, insecurities, brief mentions of stalking, and panic attack + panic attack descriptions

“We think he has the perfect style that would suit you and your fans.” Your managers voice cuts through your thoughts.

It’s early april, so the thought of gearing up for a summer comeback is enough to make your head spin. You had already released music about a month ago, releasing an entire mini album that satisfied a lot of your fans. Why do you already have to prepare for more music?

But that’s the life of an idol, especially an idol as famous and loved as you. There’s no resting in this war you love with your whole heart and have given up your entire life for.

You’re the most popular solo artist under your company JYP, constantly charting #1 and selling out various concert venues and festivals. JYPS little gem, they called you. So to say you had a reputation to live up to was an understatement.

Ofcourse your company wanted to hire the best producer for you, and they were pretty confident they found the perfect one. Somebody under your own company.

“His name is Christopher Bahng. He has tons of successful songs with his name written on it.” His name registers in your mind. You’ve never heard of him before, but you trust your manager enough to agree.

“Sure, that’s not a problem! I’ll check out some of his work once I get back home.” You smile, standing up from the meeting table and saying bye to your manager, leaving the room to start making your way to your small apartment.

It’s not too far away from the studio, a nice & safe area with not too many people. It’s the perfect place to not get caught, that would be a whole different situation.

You’ve dealt with that before. The constant swarming, almost having panic attacks at the airport, constantly looking behind your shoulder because somebody may be following you. It’s all a lot, but it’s something you’ve learnt to deal with.

That’s why the weight of this new project is stressing you out more than usual. You’ve felt your presence in the industry slowly slipping. It’s a common feeling among idols, but you can’t he

The music you release performs well, of-course. You still have fans and all, but when there’s a new sensation in town, everyone in the industry feels it, and your just getting the worse of it.

A new solo artist under HYBE just debuted not too long ago, you don’t even remember her name. What you do remember though is the feeling of losing to her on M Countdown.

All you need is to know that this new producer that your team is recommending to you is good enough to push your over the edge and back on top.

Getting home, you quickly do your night routine, brushing your teeth & taking a brisk shower and putting on pajamas. The eagerness of seeing his work is getting to you, causing you to speed through the rest of your routine like lighting before finally looking up his name on your phone.

When you searched him up, not only did tons of songs you’ve heard of and listen to regularly pop up, but so did his face.

He’s.. handsome?

Now that you think about, you think you’ve seen his face around the company building sometimes. Usually in the cafe or the corridors.

You smile looking through the list of hit songs that he’s produced. Song after song you recognize. You know you’re in really good hands now.

Checking his credits makes you feel almost star struck, and that’s coming from an idol like you. There’s no way you won’t be Koreas hot topic in about 3 months.

The feeling of exhaustion leaves your body, being replaced by a new feeling of excitement, something you don’t think you’ve felt so severely since debut.

You honestly can’t wait to get started.

←♥︎→

“So, everything’s in order?” Yuna asks you, sipping on a cup of coffee in the cafe you were both sitting in. It’s a common place for idols to take a break at, and you were just in the middle of vocal training when your manager sent you the phone number of Christopher so you two can start talking.

“Yup! I’ll text him in a moment so we can start planning!” You enthusiastically respond, taking a sip of your own drink before scanning the faces of the room.

Member of twice, that stylist you hate, Christopher Bahng, member of-… wait, Christopher is here?

You don’t know why you suddenly get nervous, a thin blush running through your body. You slightly turn your head away, but Yuna being your best friend notices this immediately.

“What’s up with you?” She asks, tilting her head slightly like a confused puppy.

“Huh? Nothing.” You lie, but she sees right through you.

Turning your head to the direction yours had just been facing, she spots the man you had been talking about. Her group having had worked with him in the past, she recognizes him immediately.

“Ohhhh, he’s here. But why do you care? He comes here all the time and so do you.” She analyzes, coming up with a conclusion faster than you would’ve hoped.

“Wait, do you… have a crush on him or something?” She asks, eyes completely innocent with reasonable accusation.

“No! No no no no! I’ve never even met him before and plus even if I did there’s still the dating ban and I can’t risk putting my career in jeop-“

“Y/n, I was just asking.” She interjects, a chuckle making its way through her lips as you groan and cover your head with your hands.

“So… you should text him then!” She changes the subject, slyly smiling as you raise your head and glare at her.

“I will I promise but not with you staring at me like a delinquent highschooler. You sigh, slurping up the remainder of your coffee before standing up abruptly.

“Well, my breaks almost over. See you later, Yuna!” You wave her goodbye, turning back to head up to the training rooms.

You think about what Yuna said on your way there, her words spinning through your mind. A blush creeps its way up your face, causing you to groan.

You honestly don’t think it’s anything like that. I mean, you’ve never even met him before. It’s more like admiration, you reason. Yeah… admiration!

Your thoughts remind you to text him, silencing the unreasonable turns of your stomach and sending him a quick & simple text.

—

you: hi! I’m y/n, my manager handed me your number. I hope we can start working together soon!

—

You stuff your phone in your pocket like a kid hiding their phone from their nosey parents. There’s not even anyone around as you slip into your training room.

Even as you practice and try your best to focus, Yunas words run rampant in your head. It causes a headache to form, loud & bulging.

You hate when your mind falls into this state. A mindset that causes you to focus on one thing while also focusing on nothing at all. It’s the feeling of bells ringing simultaneously yet not quite at the same rate. It’s beyond exhausting.

it’s so exhausting that you don’t even notice that he texted you back hours ago after you had already gotten home. All you can do is sleep as a confused Christopher from across the screen wonders why your eager text is leaving his response unanswered.

←♥︎→

It’s a normal morning. The coffee served warm & fresh from the company’s cafe is enough to melt away the sickening feeling of fatigue that set in the other day.

The comforting warmth drips down your throat, soothing your strained vocal cords and warming your empty stomach. There’s nothing that could change how calm you’re fee-

“Hey, y/n. I got your text and responded yesterday but I didn’t get a response. I just wanted to check to make sure you received it?” A voice cracks through your thoughts, causing you to look up from the mug you were holding in your hand. It doesn’t take long for you to register his face, and when you do…

“O-oh! Uh, hi Christopher, was it?” He nods in response, clearly a bit thrown off from your sudden stuttering.

The bit of akward silence sets in, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach and the sound of artificial crickets to start chirping.

“Wait..” the realization sets in. As far as you’re aware, you never got a text. “I didn’t know you responded. Let me check that.”

You do, and like he said, his response sits there on your phone, the blue tint of texts radiating onto the red of your cheeks.

“Wow, I-I’m so sorry I had no idea that you messaged me. I was so exhausted last night and it must have completely slipped my mind to check my texts before I went to bed.” You explain, a sheepish grin crawling onto your lips.

A giggle makes its way from Christopher, a cute, simple sound that forms dimples on his cheeks. “Ahh, don’t worry about it. I just wanted to make sure you got it.”

You twiddle with your fingers, and embarrassed feeling engulfing your mind for no good reason. He already said it was okay, so why is your stomach bubbling like that.

“So…” he starts, his Aussie accent making you feel the beats of your chest. “Why don’t we go start now?”

Your eyes widen, stomach doing flips in your body. You’ve worked with countless sets of people & producers before, so why is that one sentence making you so nervous?

“Right now?” You ask, making sure to verify before he smiles and nods.

“Yeah, I work better in the mornings anyway. Besides, you seemed pretty eager. Do you not want t-“

“No, no! It’s not that I promise. I’m just a little star struck to be working with someone as talented as you.” You interrupt, stopping him from questioning if you wanted a different producer. “But yes, we can start now.”

“That’s flattering coming from somebody like you. If anything, I’m star struck to be working with the company’s princess.” He compliments, slowly walking away from the cafe towards his studio you assume. You quickly chug the rest of your drink and follow him.

“Thank you, Christopher.” You thank him. You thank him, smiling as you walk towards the studio.

“Please” he says, opening the door to the spacious studio. “Call me Chan”

His studio is cold, the stiff breeze hitting you the moment you walk into the room. There’s a small black couch pushed against the farthest wall of the room, the led lights flashing across its leather surface.

Even though the studio is cold, it was a comforting warmth to it. There’s blankets and pillows sprawled around the room.

“Ignore the mess, I was up late last night working.” He sheepishly laughs, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. “Come, we can start talking.”

He leads you to sit down on the couch, him sitting adjacent to you in a small chair of the same material and style. You don’t know why you suddenly feel insecure.

You don’t typically get this much creative control over your music, so the feeling of being able to tell a producer what you want to do straight up feels new, exciting, and scary.

“So, tell me what you were thinking.” He puts the spotlight onto you, looking at you in a way that makes you feel nervous.

“I was thinking it could be something refreshing while also having a summer feeling. Kind of like lemonade on a warm summer day…y’know?” You explain, stomach curling at the sight of his slightly furrowed brow.

What if he thought your explanation was weird or he doesn’t get it or-

“I get what you’re saying. So you want it to be exciting but not overbearing. Light, kind of indie?” He asks, explaining what you wanted better than you could explain it yourself.

“Yes! That’s exactly what I want!” You exclaim, a light feeling being placed in your heart instead of the anxious one that was there at first.

After your confirmation, it’s easy for Chan to begin working on the beat, creating endless melodies that are each better than the last. It’s liking working with the god of music.

The way you’re staring at him is with stars in your eyes, the admiration for his work reaching new heights now that you’re seeing it face to face. You don’t even recognize you’re staring at him like this, but he does. He had for a while.

He noticed the moment he saw you in the cafe the other day, accidentally over hearing your conversation with Yuna. Deep down, he was wishing that you would go talk to him.

He’s been staring at your pretty self ever since you walked into the company for the first day on the job. He had just began his producing career not to long ago, but all he wanted to do was make songs for you.

Seeing you at the company, on stage, on billboards & adds around the city, it all made him appreciate you and your beauty even more.

To say he was delighted to get a message from your manager saying you were interested in working with him was an understatement. He always found you absolutely enchanting, and the chance to work with you made him feel a passion like he hadn’t before for producing.

“Great.” He smiles again, flashing those pearly whites in your face. “Then we can get started.”

←♥︎→

The producing stage was exciting, but exhausting as usual. Making a beat to both of yours satisfaction to working on lyrics, it took more time than you could have ever imagined. At first you were complaining about preparing for a comeback so early but now you’re wishing your manager had given you a heads up.

Chan was an absolute saint, helping you through it and teaching you things you didn’t know about producing. He knew you were new to this, and he wanted to do everything he could to help you understand.

It didn’t take long to get close to him. He feels like a warm cup of tea on a brisk autumn morning, something calming yet soothing. The perfect blend of blistering hot black tea.

The way he would explain difficult terminology to you, putting his hands over yours and guiding the mouse in your grasp. Your heart beat in your chest as did his.

You pushed it off as admiration, the need to focus on the song outweighs the trouble that stirred up inside your stomach & mind. Even if it kept you up at night, even if it caused Yuna to look at you crazy when you denied the crush with rosy pink cheeks.

You’re an idol after all. The years spent building a fan base, training your ass off, taking hate from random strangers and not being able to say anything about it to keep your “perfect” schtick from crumbling beneath your feet. There’s no need in losing all that hard work for a man that you’re not even sure likes you.

But on his side, he’s begging for you to see how into you he is. Are you truly oblivious to the way he looks at you? It has his head so dizzy that he’s convinced you just are ignoring him.

The way his eyes shine when he looks at you trying to understand how to produce, the way he watches you in awe as you sing in the recording booths, there’s no way you can be oblivious, right?

But you are, or atleast that’s what you tell yourself when the thought of him keeps you up at night. You tell yourself the same thing over and over again.

“I need to focus on my career”

And you do, of-course. Even if it means ignoring the tell tale signs that he desperately wants you to reciprocate.

←♥︎→

“Y/n, you need to go up and octave on this last part of the line.” Chan says for the umpteenth time. His voice is growing tense, and so is yours.

“Yes, I know I know. I’ll try again.” You sigh, drawing in a deep breath before trying to sing a certain line again.

You’re in the last stage of recording, and it’s early June. That means teasers have already been released and it’s building hype all around the media. That also means the pressure is on.

Recording hasn’t been finished, but choreo hasn’t even been started. You’re pretty sure the choreographer you’re working with has already started working on it from the demo, but there’s going to be changes once she gets the official version.

There’s a particular line, a high note in the last line of the bridge that is stressing you out and consuming your mind. Over and over it’s been repeated to you by Chan that you need to go an octave higher, but there’s this feeling in your chest that’s telling you that it’s not possible.

You perform it again, voice quivering the moment you get to the high note. You mumble a quiet sorry before trying again. Again. Again. Again. Fuck, why can’t you just do it?

“Hey y/n, maybe we should take a break, yeah?” He suggest, taking quick notice of your shaky lips and hands, not to mention the watering of your eyes.

“No-, it’s fine. I’ve got this I’ve just gotta get my shit together and I can do it. I need to do it.” You ramble, the breath in your body quickening.

What’s this feeling? You’ve only felt like this once before. It was the day a song of yours released, and you were so so proud of it. The public didn’t think the same. Why are the memories coming back as everything goes dark?

Wait, why’s everything going dark? You don’t know what’s happening you stumble lightly to the ground, your ears ringing and stomach growing nauseas. You think you can hear Chan in the background. What’s he saying, you have no clue. All you can focus on is the blaring headache tearing through your brain like a tornado.

“Y/n? Y/n what’s going on, huh? Are you okay. Shit— hey everything will be okay, yeah? I’m here. I’m here.” His heart sinks once he recognizes you symptoms.

He instantly runs towards you, crouching to the floor as you place your hand on your chest, trying to make sense of the feelings and pain your experiencing right now.

“Chan? Chan what’s going on?!” You ask, voice panicked. Chan doesn’t know what to do except for grab your hands and put them in his own, placing your palms against his chest.

“Shh, everything is okay. I just need you to breathe for me, okay?” He says, and you try, but it’s nearly impossible to stop the quickness of your breathing .

“I-I can’t do it. I can’t I—“

“Yes you can. You can do it and I know you can. Just focus on your hands. You can hear my breathing. Copy that. Just copy me and you’ll be okay.”

His words strike a certain determination in you, and you immediately try to focus your attention on your hands to match his rhythm. It’s no easy task, but after a while you’re able to match him, heart rate coming down from its previous jet like speed.

Chan takes notice of your relaxing breath, sighing in relief for a moment, but tensing up again once he takes notice of your pearl like eyes watering up with tears.

Red hot tears roll down your cheeks calmly, eyes itchy and irritated as your cheeks go red.

You’re so embarrassed. You’re so embarrassed that you just broke down crying in front of somebody that makes your heart flutter like never before.

Those thoughts get washed out of your mind when Chan grabs a hold of your cheek, wiping the tears from your face with a single thumb, flashing a comforting yet somber smile in your path.

Immediately, all rationale you had left in your body goes out the window. While he stares at your eyes, searching them for an answer, your eyes are glancing at his lips.

You’re not sure what possessed you to do it, but all of a sudden you find yourself connecting your lips with his.

His hands stop stroking your cheek, freezing up and shaking slightly. He’s so caught off guard, eyes widening profusely once your lips touch his.

You pull away once he doesn’t kiss you back, unease settling into your skin, producing a cold sweat.

“I’m sorry, I- I don’t know why I did that. Oh god you probably think I’m wei-“

He cuts your self deprecating speech with his lips, pressing deep and wrapping his arms around your waist.

The kiss crushes you in the best way possible. The feeling is akin to gentle rain on a spring morning, lips soaking into each other.

The warmth that radiates off his skin is like no other. Not once have you ever felt this way about someone else, usually too busy to focus on futile things such as romance.

However, this feeling is new. The way his lips feel on yours makes you feel like you’d be willing to give up the idol life if it meant you could kiss him all day.

And you meant that.

“Hey, y/n? He asks, voice tender. You hun in response, lips dangerously close.

“Can I take you out tonight? He asks, tilting his head to the side.

“Only if we can do that again.” You respond, voice teasing and flirty. All Chan does is smirk, flashing aggressively attractive dimples your way.

He dives back into another kiss, devouring your lips like it’s the last meal he’ll ever get to eat & he’s starving.

←♥︎→

Choreography, a person who hates working outs worst enemy.

It’s late June now, and recording is all wrapped up. Release date grows nearer and nearer, but you’re not as stressed as you were before.

Why you may ask? Because you and Chan have been going out for a month. The only stressor on your mind is wondering why he hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend yet.

Maybe it’s early, but you don’t care. You’re addicted to his lips, his eyes, laugh, smile, dimples, humor, and everything else. Kissing him had always been the highlight of your day, making you want to do it all the time. Especially as he stares at you intensely on the couch in the dance room.

He asked to watch you perform your choreography “to see if there needed to be any last minute changes”. You were oblivious to the fact that this wasn’t his intent, but you shouldn’t have been by the way he was licking his lips as he watches you dance.

It’s no secret between the two of you that he finds you extremely attractive, but he’s not sure you truly understand how attractive that he finds you.

He would worship the ground you walk on if he could. Those feelings are only amplified as he watches you twist and then your body in a particularly skimpy outfit, eyes boring into his with an evil intent.

“So,” you start, walking over to him smiling. “Whatcha think?”

He smirks, his eyes knowing as you sit on the empty space next to him. He’s looking at the beads of sweat rolling down your body, how your breath is quite full yet, how your thighs are almost fully exposed.

“Honestly, I couldn’t really focus. You look to good.” He doesn’t hold back the truth, placing a hand on your cheek and causing a rise in your heart rate.

“Cmon! I’m being serious.” You pout, cheeks poking out to which Chan kisses them. It doesn’t take long for his lips to make their way to yours.

“I am being serious y/n. You really don’t know what you do to me and how you make me feel.”

He connects his lips to yours after he’s finished speaking, swallowing every groan & moan you release from your lips.

“Y/n.” He chokes out from a whine. “I need you.”

“Well then.” You smirk. “You better prove it.”

←♥︎→

The song released about 3 months ago. It charted #1 for weeks, taking the idol industry by storm. 5 music show wins for it aswell, your highest you ever got. You were so damn proud of yourself, but you were even more grateful for Chan.

Speaking of Chan, he just arrived home now, unlocking the door to your apartment with the spare keys you gave him and immediately crashing down on your chest once he spots you laying on your bed.

“I saw your performance today, baby. It was so good. I’m so proud of you, ynnie.” He smothers your face in his kisses, pressing his love deep into your body.

“Thanks baby. It’s really late though, get some sleep.” You respond, stroking the loose strands of hair with your warm hands.

“Yeah yeah I know. You better sleep some too.” He mumbles, body already slipping into a deep sleep.

It’s easy to feel and be this relaxed with him. The feeling of knowing you can relax and let yourself loose with him is like a feeling you’ve never experienced with anyone else.

And you wouldn’t give it up for the world.

[coichii]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ── loose - bang chan

—(🎧)—> when your company finds a music producer for your new upcoming summer project, you weren’t expecting to fall for him & his charms.

pairing - producer!chan ♥︎ idol!fem!reader

genre - idol AU

word count - 4.2k

warnings - ITZY mentioned (Yuna), HYBE idol is fictional, insecurities, brief mentions of stalking, and panic attack + panic attack descriptions

“We think he has the perfect style that would suit you and your fans.” Your managers voice cuts through your thoughts.

It’s early april, so the thought of gearing up for a summer comeback is enough to make your head spin. You had already released music about a month ago, releasing an entire mini album that satisfied a lot of your fans. Why do you already have to prepare for more music?

But that’s the life of an idol, especially an idol as famous and loved as you. There’s no resting in this war you love with your whole heart and have given up your entire life for.

You’re the most popular solo artist under your company JYP, constantly charting #1 and selling out various concert venues and festivals. JYPS little gem, they called you. So to say you had a reputation to live up to was an understatement.

Ofcourse your company wanted to hire the best producer for you, and they were pretty confident they found the perfect one. Somebody under your own company.

“His name is Christopher Bahng. He has tons of successful songs with his name written on it.” His name registers in your mind. You’ve never heard of him before, but you trust your manager enough to agree.

“Sure, that’s not a problem! I’ll check out some of his work once I get back home.” You smile, standing up from the meeting table and saying bye to your manager, leaving the room to start making your way to your small apartment.

It’s not too far away from the studio, a nice & safe area with not too many people. It’s the perfect place to not get caught, that would be a whole different situation.

You’ve dealt with that before. The constant swarming, almost having panic attacks at the airport, constantly looking behind your shoulder because somebody may be following you. It’s all a lot, but it’s something you’ve learnt to deal with.

That’s why the weight of this new project is stressing you out more than usual. You’ve felt your presence in the industry slowly slipping. It’s a common feeling among idols, but you can’t he

The music you release performs well, of-course. You still have fans and all, but when there’s a new sensation in town, everyone in the industry feels it, and your just getting the worse of it.

A new solo artist under HYBE just debuted not too long ago, you don’t even remember her name. What you do remember though is the feeling of losing to her on M Countdown.

All you need is to know that this new producer that your team is recommending to you is good enough to push your over the edge and back on top.

Getting home, you quickly do your night routine, brushing your teeth & taking a brisk shower and putting on pajamas. The eagerness of seeing his work is getting to you, causing you to speed through the rest of your routine like lighting before finally looking up his name on your phone.

When you searched him up, not only did tons of songs you’ve heard of and listen to regularly pop up, but so did his face.

He’s.. handsome?

Now that you think about, you think you’ve seen his face around the company building sometimes. Usually in the cafe or the corridors.

You smile looking through the list of hit songs that he’s produced. Song after song you recognize. You know you’re in really good hands now.

Checking his credits makes you feel almost star struck, and that’s coming from an idol like you. There’s no way you won’t be Koreas hot topic in about 3 months.

The feeling of exhaustion leaves your body, being replaced by a new feeling of excitement, something you don’t think you’ve felt so severely since debut.

You honestly can’t wait to get started.

←♥︎→

“So, everything’s in order?” Yuna asks you, sipping on a cup of coffee in the cafe you were both sitting in. It’s a common place for idols to take a break at, and you were just in the middle of vocal training when your manager sent you the phone number of Christopher so you two can start talking.

“Yup! I’ll text him in a moment so we can start planning!” You enthusiastically respond, taking a sip of your own drink before scanning the faces of the room.

Member of twice, that stylist you hate, Christopher Bahng, member of-… wait, Christopher is here?

You don’t know why you suddenly get nervous, a thin blush running through your body. You slightly turn your head away, but Yuna being your best friend notices this immediately.

“What’s up with you?” She asks, tilting her head slightly like a confused puppy.

“Huh? Nothing.” You lie, but she sees right through you.

Turning your head to the direction yours had just been facing, she spots the man you had been talking about. Her group having had worked with him in the past, she recognizes him immediately.

“Ohhhh, he’s here. But why do you care? He comes here all the time and so do you.” She analyzes, coming up with a conclusion faster than you would’ve hoped.

“Wait, do you… have a crush on him or something?” She asks, eyes completely innocent with reasonable accusation.

“No! No no no no! I’ve never even met him before and plus even if I did there’s still the dating ban and I can’t risk putting my career in jeop-“

“Y/n, I was just asking.” She interjects, a chuckle making its way through her lips as you groan and cover your head with your hands.

“So… you should text him then!” She changes the subject, slyly smiling as you raise your head and glare at her.

“I will I promise but not with you staring at me like a delinquent highschooler. You sigh, slurping up the remainder of your coffee before standing up abruptly.

“Well, my breaks almost over. See you later, Yuna!” You wave her goodbye, turning back to head up to the training rooms.

You think about what Yuna said on your way there, her words spinning through your mind. A blush creeps its way up your face, causing you to groan.

You honestly don’t think it’s anything like that. I mean, you’ve never even met him before. It’s more like admiration, you reason. Yeah… admiration!

Your thoughts remind you to text him, silencing the unreasonable turns of your stomach and sending him a quick & simple text.

—

you: hi! I’m y/n, my manager handed me your number. I hope we can start working together soon!

—

You stuff your phone in your pocket like a kid hiding their phone from their nosey parents. There’s not even anyone around as you slip into your training room.

Even as you practice and try your best to focus, Yunas words run rampant in your head. It causes a headache to form, loud & bulging.

You hate when your mind falls into this state. A mindset that causes you to focus on one thing while also focusing on nothing at all. It’s the feeling of bells ringing simultaneously yet not quite at the same rate. It’s beyond exhausting.

it’s so exhausting that you don’t even notice that he texted you back hours ago after you had already gotten home. All you can do is sleep as a confused Christopher from across the screen wonders why your eager text is leaving his response unanswered.

←♥︎→

It’s a normal morning. The coffee served warm & fresh from the company’s cafe is enough to melt away the sickening feeling of fatigue that set in the other day.

The comforting warmth drips down your throat, soothing your strained vocal cords and warming your empty stomach. There’s nothing that could change how calm you’re fee-

“Hey, y/n. I got your text and responded yesterday but I didn’t get a response. I just wanted to check to make sure you received it?” A voice cracks through your thoughts, causing you to look up from the mug you were holding in your hand. It doesn’t take long for you to register his face, and when you do…

“O-oh! Uh, hi Christopher, was it?” He nods in response, clearly a bit thrown off from your sudden stuttering.

The bit of akward silence sets in, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach and the sound of artificial crickets to start chirping.

“Wait..” the realization sets in. As far as you’re aware, you never got a text. “I didn’t know you responded. Let me check that.”

You do, and like he said, his response sits there on your phone, the blue tint of texts radiating onto the red of your cheeks.

“Wow, I-I’m so sorry I had no idea that you messaged me. I was so exhausted last night and it must have completely slipped my mind to check my texts before I went to bed.” You explain, a sheepish grin crawling onto your lips.

A giggle makes its way from Christopher, a cute, simple sound that forms dimples on his cheeks. “Ahh, don’t worry about it. I just wanted to make sure you got it.”

You twiddle with your fingers, and embarrassed feeling engulfing your mind for no good reason. He already said it was okay, so why is your stomach bubbling like that.

“So…” he starts, his Aussie accent making you feel the beats of your chest. “Why don’t we go start now?”

Your eyes widen, stomach doing flips in your body. You’ve worked with countless sets of people & producers before, so why is that one sentence making you so nervous?

“Right now?” You ask, making sure to verify before he smiles and nods.

“Yeah, I work better in the mornings anyway. Besides, you seemed pretty eager. Do you not want t-“

“No, no! It’s not that I promise. I’m just a little star struck to be working with someone as talented as you.” You interrupt, stopping him from questioning if you wanted a different producer. “But yes, we can start now.”

“That’s flattering coming from somebody like you. If anything, I’m star struck to be working with the company’s princess.” He compliments, slowly walking away from the cafe towards his studio you assume. You quickly chug the rest of your drink and follow him.

“Thank you, Christopher.” You thank him. You thank him, smiling as you walk towards the studio.

“Please” he says, opening the door to the spacious studio. “Call me Chan”

His studio is cold, the stiff breeze hitting you the moment you walk into the room. There’s a small black couch pushed against the farthest wall of the room, the led lights flashing across its leather surface.

Even though the studio is cold, it was a comforting warmth to it. There’s blankets and pillows sprawled around the room.

“Ignore the mess, I was up late last night working.” He sheepishly laughs, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. “Come, we can start talking.”

He leads you to sit down on the couch, him sitting adjacent to you in a small chair of the same material and style. You don’t know why you suddenly feel insecure.

You don’t typically get this much creative control over your music, so the feeling of being able to tell a producer what you want to do straight up feels new, exciting, and scary.

“So, tell me what you were thinking.” He puts the spotlight onto you, looking at you in a way that makes you feel nervous.

“I was thinking it could be something refreshing while also having a summer feeling. Kind of like lemonade on a warm summer day…y’know?” You explain, stomach curling at the sight of his slightly furrowed brow.

What if he thought your explanation was weird or he doesn’t get it or-

“I get what you’re saying. So you want it to be exciting but not overbearing. Light, kind of indie?” He asks, explaining what you wanted better than you could explain it yourself.

“Yes! That’s exactly what I want!” You exclaim, a light feeling being placed in your heart instead of the anxious one that was there at first.

After your confirmation, it’s easy for Chan to begin working on the beat, creating endless melodies that are each better than the last. It’s liking working with the god of music.

The way you’re staring at him is with stars in your eyes, the admiration for his work reaching new heights now that you’re seeing it face to face. You don’t even recognize you’re staring at him like this, but he does. He had for a while.

He noticed the moment he saw you in the cafe the other day, accidentally over hearing your conversation with Yuna. Deep down, he was wishing that you would go talk to him.

He’s been staring at your pretty self ever since you walked into the company for the first day on the job. He had just began his producing career not to long ago, but all he wanted to do was make songs for you.

Seeing you at the company, on stage, on billboards & adds around the city, it all made him appreciate you and your beauty even more.

To say he was delighted to get a message from your manager saying you were interested in working with him was an understatement. He always found you absolutely enchanting, and the chance to work with you made him feel a passion like he hadn’t before for producing.

“Great.” He smiles again, flashing those pearly whites in your face. “Then we can get started.”

←♥︎→

The producing stage was exciting, but exhausting as usual. Making a beat to both of yours satisfaction to working on lyrics, it took more time than you could have ever imagined. At first you were complaining about preparing for a comeback so early but now you’re wishing your manager had given you a heads up.

Chan was an absolute saint, helping you through it and teaching you things you didn’t know about producing. He knew you were new to this, and he wanted to do everything he could to help you understand.

It didn’t take long to get close to him. He feels like a warm cup of tea on a brisk autumn morning, something calming yet soothing. The perfect blend of blistering hot black tea.

The way he would explain difficult terminology to you, putting his hands over yours and guiding the mouse in your grasp. Your heart beat in your chest as did his.

You pushed it off as admiration, the need to focus on the song outweighs the trouble that stirred up inside your stomach & mind. Even if it kept you up at night, even if it caused Yuna to look at you crazy when you denied the crush with rosy pink cheeks.

You’re an idol after all. The years spent building a fan base, training your ass off, taking hate from random strangers and not being able to say anything about it to keep your “perfect” schtick from crumbling beneath your feet. There’s no need in losing all that hard work for a man that you’re not even sure likes you.

But on his side, he’s begging for you to see how into you he is. Are you truly oblivious to the way he looks at you? It has his head so dizzy that he’s convinced you just are ignoring him.

The way his eyes shine when he looks at you trying to understand how to produce, the way he watches you in awe as you sing in the recording booths, there’s no way you can be oblivious, right?

But you are, or atleast that’s what you tell yourself when the thought of him keeps you up at night. You tell yourself the same thing over and over again.

“I need to focus on my career”

And you do, of-course. Even if it means ignoring the tell tale signs that he desperately wants you to reciprocate.

←♥︎→

“Y/n, you need to go up and octave on this last part of the line.” Chan says for the umpteenth time. His voice is growing tense, and so is yours.

“Yes, I know I know. I’ll try again.” You sigh, drawing in a deep breath before trying to sing a certain line again.

You’re in the last stage of recording, and it’s early June. That means teasers have already been released and it’s building hype all around the media. That also means the pressure is on.

Recording hasn’t been finished, but choreo hasn’t even been started. You’re pretty sure the choreographer you’re working with has already started working on it from the demo, but there’s going to be changes once she gets the official version.

There’s a particular line, a high note in the last line of the bridge that is stressing you out and consuming your mind. Over and over it’s been repeated to you by Chan that you need to go an octave higher, but there’s this feeling in your chest that’s telling you that it’s not possible.

You perform it again, voice quivering the moment you get to the high note. You mumble a quiet sorry before trying again. Again. Again. Again. Fuck, why can’t you just do it?

“Hey y/n, maybe we should take a break, yeah?” He suggest, taking quick notice of your shaky lips and hands, not to mention the watering of your eyes.

“No-, it’s fine. I’ve got this I’ve just gotta get my shit together and I can do it. I need to do it.” You ramble, the breath in your body quickening.

What’s this feeling? You’ve only felt like this once before. It was the day a song of yours released, and you were so so proud of it. The public didn’t think the same. Why are the memories coming back as everything goes dark?

Wait, why’s everything going dark? You don’t know what’s happening you stumble lightly to the ground, your ears ringing and stomach growing nauseas. You think you can hear Chan in the background. What’s he saying, you have no clue. All you can focus on is the blaring headache tearing through your brain like a tornado.

“Y/n? Y/n what’s going on, huh? Are you okay. Shit— hey everything will be okay, yeah? I’m here. I’m here.” His heart sinks once he recognizes you symptoms.

He instantly runs towards you, crouching to the floor as you place your hand on your chest, trying to make sense of the feelings and pain your experiencing right now.

“Chan? Chan what’s going on?!” You ask, voice panicked. Chan doesn’t know what to do except for grab your hands and put them in his own, placing your palms against his chest.

“Shh, everything is okay. I just need you to breathe for me, okay?” He says, and you try, but it’s nearly impossible to stop the quickness of your breathing .

“I-I can’t do it. I can’t I—“

“Yes you can. You can do it and I know you can. Just focus on your hands. You can hear my breathing. Copy that. Just copy me and you’ll be okay.”

His words strike a certain determination in you, and you immediately try to focus your attention on your hands to match his rhythm. It’s no easy task, but after a while you’re able to match him, heart rate coming down from its previous jet like speed.

Chan takes notice of your relaxing breath, sighing in relief for a moment, but tensing up again once he takes notice of your pearl like eyes watering up with tears.

Red hot tears roll down your cheeks calmly, eyes itchy and irritated as your cheeks go red.

You’re so embarrassed. You’re so embarrassed that you just broke down crying in front of somebody that makes your heart flutter like never before.

Those thoughts get washed out of your mind when Chan grabs a hold of your cheek, wiping the tears from your face with a single thumb, flashing a comforting yet somber smile in your path.

Immediately, all rationale you had left in your body goes out the window. While he stares at your eyes, searching them for an answer, your eyes are glancing at his lips.

You’re not sure what possessed you to do it, but all of a sudden you find yourself connecting your lips with his.

His hands stop stroking your cheek, freezing up and shaking slightly. He’s so caught off guard, eyes widening profusely once your lips touch his.

You pull away once he doesn’t kiss you back, unease settling into your skin, producing a cold sweat.

“I’m sorry, I- I don’t know why I did that. Oh god you probably think I’m wei-“

He cuts your self deprecating speech with his lips, pressing deep and wrapping his arms around your waist.

The kiss crushes you in the best way possible. The feeling is akin to gentle rain on a spring morning, lips soaking into each other.

The warmth that radiates off his skin is like no other. Not once have you ever felt this way about someone else, usually too busy to focus on futile things such as romance.

However, this feeling is new. The way his lips feel on yours makes you feel like you’d be willing to give up the idol life if it meant you could kiss him all day.

And you meant that.

“Hey, y/n? He asks, voice tender. You hun in response, lips dangerously close.

“Can I take you out tonight? He asks, tilting his head to the side.

“Only if we can do that again.” You respond, voice teasing and flirty. All Chan does is smirk, flashing aggressively attractive dimples your way.

He dives back into another kiss, devouring your lips like it’s the last meal he’ll ever get to eat & he’s starving.

←♥︎→

Choreography, a person who hates working outs worst enemy.

It’s late June now, and recording is all wrapped up. Release date grows nearer and nearer, but you’re not as stressed as you were before.

Why you may ask? Because you and Chan have been going out for a month. The only stressor on your mind is wondering why he hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend yet.

Maybe it’s early, but you don’t care. You’re addicted to his lips, his eyes, laugh, smile, dimples, humor, and everything else. Kissing him had always been the highlight of your day, making you want to do it all the time. Especially as he stares at you intensely on the couch in the dance room.

He asked to watch you perform your choreography “to see if there needed to be any last minute changes”. You were oblivious to the fact that this wasn’t his intent, but you shouldn’t have been by the way he was licking his lips as he watches you dance.

It’s no secret between the two of you that he finds you extremely attractive, but he’s not sure you truly understand how attractive that he finds you.

He would worship the ground you walk on if he could. Those feelings are only amplified as he watches you twist and then your body in a particularly skimpy outfit, eyes boring into his with an evil intent.

“So,” you start, walking over to him smiling. “Whatcha think?”

He smirks, his eyes knowing as you sit on the empty space next to him. He’s looking at the beads of sweat rolling down your body, how your breath is quite full yet, how your thighs are almost fully exposed.

“Honestly, I couldn’t really focus. You look to good.” He doesn’t hold back the truth, placing a hand on your cheek and causing a rise in your heart rate.

“Cmon! I’m being serious.” You pout, cheeks poking out to which Chan kisses them. It doesn’t take long for his lips to make their way to yours.

“I am being serious y/n. You really don’t know what you do to me and how you make me feel.”

He connects his lips to yours after he’s finished speaking, swallowing every groan & moan you release from your lips.

“Y/n.” He chokes out from a whine. “I need you.”

“Well then.” You smirk. “You better prove it.”

←♥︎→

The song released about 3 months ago. It charted #1 for weeks, taking the idol industry by storm. 5 music show wins for it aswell, your highest you ever got. You were so damn proud of yourself, but you were even more grateful for Chan.

Speaking of Chan, he just arrived home now, unlocking the door to your apartment with the spare keys you gave him and immediately crashing down on your chest once he spots you laying on your bed.

“I saw your performance today, baby. It was so good. I’m so proud of you, ynnie.” He smothers your face in his kisses, pressing his love deep into your body.

“Thanks baby. It’s really late though, get some sleep.” You respond, stroking the loose strands of hair with your warm hands.

“Yeah yeah I know. You better sleep some too.” He mumbles, body already slipping into a deep sleep.

It’s easy to feel and be this relaxed with him. The feeling of knowing you can relax and let yourself loose with him is like a feeling you’ve never experienced with anyone else.

And you wouldn’t give it up for the world.

[coichii]

okay, I think I’ve come to terms with the fact summer of love isn’t happening… but I feel to bad to not release anything, so I think I’ll do a bunch a smaller stories with summer prompts. I’ll try to post everyday or atleast every other day until a certain point in August or maybe even September…

I feel so bad… but I do have only 2 completed full fics… which I definitely will post!

Sorry guys 😢 why is working and being in college absolutely kicking my ass

[coichii]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ──everything - han

—(🎧)—> when han is caught in self doubt after a concert, but he has you, his everything, there to save him.

pairing - bf!han x fem!reader

genre - comfort, angst,

word count - 0.4K

warnings - self doubt + my way of coping with the Straykids DC incident (yes I was there, yes it was horrid.)

“Ugh, I’m so beat.” Your boyfriend says, falling face first down onto the mattress of the hotel room.

He just came home about 20 minutes ago, forcing him self in the shower with a faux smile painted on his porcelain face. Having just gotten back from a 3 hour concert in the smoldering heat of summer, it was kind of hard to have a real smile at all.

“Mhm. You did so good baby.” You whisper, taking notice in how his lips are beginning to twitch on the side. It’s subtle, no one else would notice it. No one else expect you.

He didn’t have to speak for you to know what was running through his mind. The self doubt, the concern, it was all in his brain now.

“Yeah?” He asks, but it’s not a question. That much is noticeable with the slight crack in his voice.

“Yeah. You did amazing. You are amazing.” You respond, beginning to massage the knots in his shoulders as tears start to drip down from his perfect face.

“I feel I could have done better, you know? Better with everything.” He sniffles, eyes heavy with moon dark circles under them.

You can’t stop your heart from shattering into thousands of tiny little pieces, each little gasp for air coming from his mouth causing a pang of pain to ripple in your heart.

Jisung, your baby, in so much pain because of his performance and things out of his control.

“Hey. Listen to me.” You say, stopping the rolls of your fingers on his back to grab his cheeks, wiping their tears and turning his head towards you.

“You did the best you could. You sounded amazing and you performed amazing. STAY will always love you, and there’s nothing you could do that could change that. My love, you did so well. I’m so proud of you.”

He starts to gently cry, pushing his reddening face into your arms as you rub your hands down his back. You whisper soft words of praise and comfort, giving the back of his head little kisses.

It’s about 30 minutes after. The room is silent, the only noise coming from the low budget A/C. It’s just you and him, alone.

“I’d be a mess without you. I love you so much.” He whispers, slowly drifting off into sleep. You chuckle, still stroking his back as you feel the sleepiness hit you like a truck.

“I love you more, Ji.”

He really was your everything.

And of course, you were his too.

[coichii]

[coichii]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ──everything - han

—(🎧)—> when han is caught in self doubt after a concert, but he has you, his everything, there to save him.

pairing - bf!han x fem!reader

genre - comfort, angst,

word count - 0.4K

warnings - self doubt + my way of coping with the Straykids DC incident (yes I was there, yes it was horrid.)

“Ugh, I’m so beat.” Your boyfriend says, falling face first down onto the mattress of the hotel room.

He just came home about 20 minutes ago, forcing him self in the shower with a faux smile painted on his porcelain face. Having just gotten back from a 3 hour concert in the smoldering heat of summer, it was kind of hard to have a real smile at all.

“Mhm. You did so good baby.” You whisper, taking notice in how his lips are beginning to twitch on the side. It’s subtle, no one else would notice it. No one else expect you.

He didn’t have to speak for you to know what was running through his mind. The self doubt, the concern, it was all in his brain now.

“Yeah?” He asks, but it’s not a question. That much is noticeable with the slight crack in his voice.

“Yeah. You did amazing. You are amazing.” You respond, beginning to massage the knots in his shoulders as tears start to drip down from his perfect face.

“I feel I could have done better, you know? Better with everything.” He sniffles, eyes heavy with moon dark circles under them.

You can’t stop your heart from shattering into thousands of tiny little pieces, each little gasp for air coming from his mouth causing a pang of pain to ripple in your heart.

Jisung, your baby, in so much pain because of his performance and things out of his control.

“Hey. Listen to me.” You say, stopping the rolls of your fingers on his back to grab his cheeks, wiping their tears and turning his head towards you.

“You did the best you could. You sounded amazing and you performed amazing. STAY will always love you, and there’s nothing you could do that could change that. My love, you did so well. I’m so proud of you.”

He starts to gently cry, pushing his reddening face into your arms as you rub your hands down his back. You whisper soft words of praise and comfort, giving the back of his head little kisses.

It’s about 30 minutes after. The room is silent, the only noise coming from the low budget A/C. It’s just you and him, alone.

“I’d be a mess without you. I love you so much.” He whispers, slowly drifting off into sleep. You chuckle, still stroking his back as you feel the sleepiness hit you like a truck.

“I love you more, Ji.”

He really was your everything.

And of course, you were his too.

[coichii]

okay post scheduled for 07:00am EST tmrw :p goodnight fellow stays

[coichii]

im gonna post something real soon guys! I’ve just been super busy on vacation and slumped with writers block. But we’re gonna make it work !

[coichii]

I was there too! It was terrible. Straykids was the only good thing about this show was the kids performances. Confiscating water, the amount of pauses, etc. It was extremely disappointing even though I barely had to drive far 😭 I don’t even feel like i completed my life long goal of seeing them.

Just came from seeing Stray Kids in DC and the show ended early for safety purposes. If anyone was there I hope you all got home safely and you’re alright 🩷

[coichii]

so that was the worst concert experience of my life.

Straykids did an amazing job. Live nation, you are terrible and your staff suck aswell.

[coichii]

I know I haven’t posted in a week but I’m going to see Straykids today in DC guys!!!! If you’re going too make sure to have fun!

[coichii]

untitled 04. changbin x fem reader

“hey binnie?” you say, voice raspy from unuse.

it’s around 4 am by now, your eyes begging you to close them but your mind feeling like it’s running a marathon. It’s a bad feeling.

“yes, hunny?”

you shift your position, taking a hold of his body.

“why are you still up?”

there’s a small silence before changbin tugs you tighter to his chest. he rubs your back up and down, causing a bit of peace to leak into your mind.

“because you’re up.” he answers simply, letting out a tiny yawn.

“your busy tommrow though…” you trail off, sleepiness working its way into your brain.

“i know, but I don’t want you to be lonely.”

another yawn.

“aww… you love me.” you mumble, finally drifting off into dreamland as soft snores fill the air.

he breaths in air, finally closing his eyes and holding you impossibly closer to his body. a soft giggle leaves his pink & soft lips.

“you have no idea”

[coichii]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ── pretty boy - felix

“felix, you know you’re so pretty, right?” you whisper, the cold of the darkening night creeping its way into your bedroom through the cracked bedside window.

“you think so?” his deep voice responds, creeping his arm to your waist and tugging you closer to him.

you pout, moving away from his arms. “I know so.”

he laughs his deep, teasing laugh that causes a flush to move throughout your entire body. he truly has no idea what he does to you.

“mhm. sorry baby. come back.” he groans, arms reaching their way out to you.

“hmph no. not when you just doubted me.” you mumble, slowly succumbing to the feeling of his arms around you.

when he wraps his arms around you, you don't move or struggle, you just let out a defeated sigh as he snuggles his body into your side.

“see, knew you couldn’t resist me.”

[coichii]

I swear ppl on anon are so brave, they have no idea what it’s like to be a writer 😭

It's fair to complain about fandom spaces dying and everything but writers here are getting less and less interested in engaging in talking with people, like doing requests, answering the askbox like I have sent thirsts and ideas for some writers that I like here and only one of them responded 2 days ago (I sent it like a month ago) 😵‍💫

man .... see, I don't know what to do with messages like this

there are several aspects to this, right?

first of all, how are you engaging with writers? I don't know you, so this is not an accusation at you, just a general thing that needs to be considered. do you read people's rules? if they take requests? if they explicitly state that they don't? are the messages you send polite? do you show interest in them beyond just getting your thought out there? also - sounds like you send the same idea to several writers? if you do, many of us kinda hate that, because it makes us feel like content farms. lol

secondly, do you also interact with fics that are being posted?

or are you only milking authors for responses to your headcanons - when you could also post those yourself and start a conversation like that?

I think you have to remember - I and all the other writers on this site, we are ADULTS. with jobs. 40 hours a week, man. I also have other hobbies and friends. do you know how long it takes to write a fic? (again, kinda /gen because I don't know if you're a writer). a long fucking time. depending on who's writing it, also.

what we do here is write fics that we want to read and we CHOOSE to post these things. mind you, that we don't have to. us writing things does NOT depend on anyone reading things. I have countless 35k word documents flying around, all written over the last few years, from fandoms you haven't even heard of that have never seen the light of day.

so we post what we write, and you get to read it. sorry if that sounds entitled but that's literally what it is. it's always been that way. I have seen exactly, what, 3 people on my kofi, and all of them have been friends. so much for that. and that's okay. I do this for free because I want to. but the bare minimum of that is to have people respect and be aware of this fact.

if we then, on top of writing, choose to open our ask boxes, choose to interact, choose to spend time on headcanons and ideas that aren't our own (and it takes time!!! even a simple ask!! we gotta sit and think and write it all out, man! it takes time away from writing our fics), then that is a bonus. not a requirement.

AGAIN, if you want your ideas to be seen, why not make your own blog? genuinely? why do you put the responsibility of being seen on someone else? if it's that important to you, you should post them. and I mean that so genuinely. why?

every writer can decide how they want to engage, and if someone not doing requests is a reason for you to say "well, that means it's okay they get less interaction" then I think you gotta think about that one again. because saying "thank you" and "can you do this for me" is not the same. or if you think writers have to earn interaction on things being consumed for FREE by doing more free labour then you should try posting yourself and see how that goes. or learn a little bit about this system called capitalism that has invaded all of our brains apparently.

we're not asking to be treated in any special way, except as someone who posts cool shit for other people who enjoy the same thing. that's all

[coichii]

hey guys! I'd just like to say i'm swamped in work so i most likely wont be able to post for the next coming days. maybe i can get something soon? but it is rather unlikely.

[coichii]

blocked!