#han angst

[astraystayyh]

Volcano

pairing : han x reader. enemies to lovers. slow burn.

summary : you've never gotten along with han, your mutual prejudices ruining any prospect of friendship between you both. but you slowly realize that you are more similar than what you originally thought- your darkness recognizing his, and his light yearning for yours.

"I'll take care of you. It's rotten work. Not to me, not if it's you."

cw : depiction of a panic attack, minor injury, both reader and han say mean shit to each other, cursing, mention of alcohol, reader has she/her pronouns.

word count : 13.2k

a.n: highly recommend listening to "Let the light in" by Lana when Han starts playing it in the fic hehe feedback is highly appreciated as always <3

skz quotes series masterlist.

You remember being seven years old, sitting on the floor of your bedroom, while your mom brushed your hair. It was a late July night, a cold breeze swaying your white curtains, akin to the fluttering of a butterfly’s wing. Your eyes were slightly puffy, delicate red veins protruding the white of them. You had just finished watching a Disney movie- the Lion King; heavy sobs escaping your lips when Mufasa died.

There were still faint hiccups coursing through you, a slight shake in your hands as you fiddled with the hem of your shirt. Your mom brought you to her chest, her chin resting on your small shoulder blade. "You’re sensitive, my sweet girl" she had uttered, rubbing your arms soothingly.

It was the first time someone described you as such. You didn’t know what ‘sensitive’ entailed exactly, but it contained the word ‘sense’, so you assumed it was something good, a quality to be proud of you. You could sense, maybe more than others, maybe too deeply. That’s why you cried when you didn’t get a good grade, or when your friends left you alone in the park.

But you didn't mind back then. What was your heart made for if not to feel?

You should’ve paid more attention to the way your mom spoke, to the bittersweetness lingering in her tone. As if she knew exactly what it entailed to be sensitive- to have your heart overflow with delicate feelings for the rest of your life, with no safe destination to guard them in.

☄༄

You’ve forgotten the last time you cried in.

The tears are lodged inside your throat- you can clearly feel them, an uncomfortable weight sitting on your vocal cords, rendering them impossible to use.

You used to cry, freely, so much that you lost count of how much it happened. But you realized that every tear that escaped your eyes, made you vulnerable, weaker, in the hands of the people around you. Every tear that washed over you, only rendered you more transparent for everyone to peer at how they wounded your soul. 

So, you conditioned yourself to stop feeling as deeply, or at least to stop showing it. The sadness, the hurt, the anger were all stored within you; but your face remained placid, not betraying how you truly felt. You were like a pond, tranquil at the surface, raging from within.

But on days like this one, you miss the person you were. When the implications of being sensitive still haven’t weighed down on you. When you could get rid of your feelings in the essence of your tears. When you didn’t yet feel bad for feeling.

Chan's eyes are on you, as you type furiously on your laptop. Your vision is so blurry that you can no longer see your lit screen. But you’re afraid that if you pause then Chan would ask if you were okay, and you hated that question. Because you never truly knew the answer to it. Yes, you were okay. But you haven’t cried in six months and your friend didn’t greet you back this morning and you suddenly feel very small in a very large library.

"Hey," Chan taps your hand with his pen and you suck in a slight breath, before raising your head to meet his eyes. "Are you-" he starts but you’re quick to cut him off, knowing exactly where this was headed. "Did you answer question five? I’m stuck on what formula to use."

Chan raises a brow at you, and you blink repeatedly. His eyes travel to your feet tapping furiously against the floor, and he understands.

 "I'm still at number four," he finally says and you nod in relief. You’ve been close friends for a year and Chan has come to know you- he’s dropping the subject.

"Oh, and are you coming to the party tonight?" Chan asks, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He’s hosting it and there is hope twinkling in his eyes. You feel bad because you’re about to crush it.

"No, need to revise more for the upcoming test."

"Of course, you’ll still be buried in your books," a sarcastic voice quips up, and you stiffen inwardly. Han- one-third of 3racha, Chan’s self-made producing group, and the bane of your existence. You never liked who you were around Han, he brought out the worst in you. Made all your insecurities roar forward, plastered across your body in neon red.

He was friends with Chan, long before you came into the picture, back into their high school days when Han skipped a class and ended up in the same one as Chan’s. A genius, as everyone around you liked to call him. And they were right- excelling came easily to Han, in everything he ever did. Even tapping into each one of your tender nooks and crannies.

He knew how to expertly push your buttons, how to make his tone sound mocking, and taunting, but only to you. Because you were sensitive, and he knew it, finding it almost amusing to toy with you. 

You decide to stay silent because nothing good ever comes out of talking back to him. So, you bite your tongue, turning back to look at your screen. But Han’s elbow grazes your arm, as he leans a bit further into your face. "Come on, live a little, y/n. You’re missing out on the college experience," he makes a big show of opening his arms wide, a single red pen spinning between his fingers. "Quit being stuck up for one night." And it spins, and it spins, and it spins and something ugly inside you crumbles.

"I’m sorry I wasn’t born with a golden spoon shoved down my throat and I actually have to work for my future."

Han’s eyes widen at the raw animosity in your voice, before narrowing down promptly. He’s leaning onto your face again, and his tone is low and cold when he speaks again. "What did you just say to me?"

"Is it so hard to grasp that not everyone is as privileged as you? We can’t all afford to get wasted every fucking night and call it a life."

You’re being mean. This is the rudest you’ve ever been to someone else. You know that your reaction is disproportionate to what he said. But it isn’t just about this instant. It’s an amalgam of every moment Han made you feel small in, because you don’t go out as much as him, because you don’t understand as quickly as him. Taunts thrown your way under the guise of teasing, but you know better.

Still, guilt eats at you as your eyes lock with Chan’s. You should’ve stayed silent, as you’ve been diligently doing for the past year.

"How do you stand being her friend Chan? Is it out of pity?" Han muses, a pout pulling at his lips. You stare ahead as Han tsks lightly, before tapping your cheek with his pen, bringing your face back to him. "I think it is. Because isn’t she so fucking boring?"

Being near Han always makes you hyper-aware of things you never noticed before. Like how a breath has to travel from the depths of your body so you’d be able to release it, and how excruciatingly long it takes for you to draw in a new one. Because Han’s words are never harmless, no, they settle on the confines of your lungs, crushing down any bit of oxygen willing to leave you.

You've had enough.

"When you’re eighty, on your deathbed, and all alone. I hope you know that there is no one around to blame but yourself."

"Don’t cross the line, yn," Chan finally speaks and you scoff, as you get up to grab your things.

"What fucking line, Chan? So, he can insult me all day but as soon as I do it there is a line? Why are you taking his side?"

Chan stays silent and you chuckle dryly. "Of course, you are. You’re only friends with me out of pity after all."

"That’s not true-"

"Well, you didn’t deny it, did you Chan?"

"Yn, I-"

"Save it."

Han’s eyes are glossy as you take one final glance at him. But your heart’s bleeding too much for you to care about his minor cut.

☄༄

For how much time can a conversation haunt someone? Seventeen days, for your case. And you're still counting.

You have nit-picked your fight with Han in the library so much that it's driving you insane. His voice is drilled into your head- the coldness of it as he reeled back from the shock of your words, and then, the pure venom dripping from his tone, as he attacked you where it hurt the most. Chan.

Han chose his words carefully, stitched up the sentence perfectly to hurt you, to stick to your flesh like burnt skin, one that you peeled over and over, each time it threatened to scar.

You haven't talked to Chan in seventeen days. He tried to stop you; on your way out of class, in the line of your campus cafeteria, on the doorsteps of your dorm. But you always fleet away. His eyes were also imprinted into your brain- the disappointment in them when you clapped back at Han.

What about him? You wanted to yell. Why are you only disappointed in me?

But the tears in your pillow have dried. Then fallen again. Then dried once more. And you found the answer to question five. And you miss Chan, terribly so.

That's why you're pacing around his dorm, at 10 pm, when it's also terribly cold outside. Your fingers have gone numb from the ministrations of the wind, but you don't move from your place. You know that the chances of seeing Han- the second person you’ve been avoiding like the plague- would be higher here. But you didn't care anymore.

Your thumb hovers over the call button and you bite your lip harshly. Would Chan pick up? Would he hang up? Was he really your friend out of pity?

"Yn?" a voice calls out, and you startle, turning around to see who it is. Changbin, carrying two bags of groceries in his hand. He's Chan’s friend as well, the final member of 3racha. You like Changbin. He's always being very kind to you. You've grown much closer to him than to Han in the past few months; not that the latter has ever wanted a friendship with you. From the day you met and his eyes narrowed promptly each time you talked. You should’ve known from the start.

"Why are you out here in the cold?" Changbin asks gently, stepping cautiously towards you.

"Chan," you say simply and he nods, understanding what you mean.

"He's not here now, but he'll come home soon. Let's go inside, okay?" he smiles tentatively at you and you hum in reply.

Changbin opens the door and you follow inside. You help him take out the groceries silently, stacking them in their fridge and shelves. Lots of protein powder, and chicken packets. You'd laugh about it if you weren't so sad.

"Chan misses you," Changbin speaks up suddenly, and your heartbeat quickens at his words.

"I miss him too."

"Then you'll be okay."

You try to remember Changbin’s reassuring smile when Chan finally opens the door to the dorm, an hour later. He finds you sitting on the stool in the kitchen. His eyes light up once they settle on you.

And you unravel at the sight.

You're crying, sobs rippling from you as he brings you to his chest. He's patting your head and whispering that it's okay. And you know his shirt is all crumpled from clutching it in your hands. But he doesn't mind. He only hugs you tighter.

"I'm sorry, yn. So, so, sorry. I should've stopped him before, I just... You two are my best friends and I didn't want to add fuel to the fire by talking and-"

"It's okay, it's okay, I'm the one who should apologize for ghosting you."

"I understand why you did it. I fucked up but I missed you so much. Can we please never do this again?”

“Yes please,” you giggle, but the sound withers as the door opens once again.

"What is she doing here?" a cold voice breaks you and Chan apart, as your eyes land on Han. His gaze sucks the breath out of you, and the warmth in your heart fizzles out. Your hold on Chan’s shirt tightens and he takes an unconscious step in front of your body. Han doesn't miss the protective gesture.

"Get out, yn."

"You don't get to kick my friends out of my house," Chan is angry. And you regret ever coming here.

"Last I checked it's my house too." Han doesn't even bother looking at you. He's holding Chan’s gaze as if they're silently communicating. "You know damn well what she said why-" he takes a deep breath, running a hand angrily through his hair. "Fuck this. If she's not leaving then I am."

And with that he storms out, slamming the door behind him. You flinch at the sound.

Chan’s eyebrows are knitted as he stares at where Han stood seconds ago as if trying to conjure him up once again. You never wanted to strain their friendship. You knew how much Han cared for Chan, even if he didn't bear the same sentiment for you.

"Chan, I’ll leave. Call Han and tell him I'm gone."

"You don't have to."

"I know," you reassure, placing your hand on his forearm. "We'll talk more later, okay? It's cold and he has nowhere to go. Just call him, please."

"Fine," Chan concedes. "Call me when you get home, alright?" his eyes finally soften and you squeeze his hand in reply, before heading out as well.

The walk from Chan’s dorm to yours is fairly short, but tonight, it seems like kilometers are separating you from the safety of your bed. There is a heavy weight crushing your bones, most of it being guilt at what just transpired between Chan and Han.

That's what comes with being sensitive- you bear the weight of your feelings and the one of those surrounding you.

Were you out of place with what you said to Han? Yes. Was it eating you inside to see the consequences of your words? Yes. But he was also to blame, you repeated in your head. He was also to blame. Please. You plead, you don't know to whom, maybe to the voice in your head to stop being so mean. 'But none of this would've happened if you weren't so sensitive. So easy to bruise' the voice mocks and you stumble on your feet.

It happens so suddenly it takes you off guard- the way the breath is knocked out of you. You pause, chest heaving as you bend down slightly. Your hand is on your heart as you try to breathe again, but it's shaking so much. Your legs give out under you, and you plop down on the floor, eyes tightly shut. You can't breathe. You can't breathe. You're going to pass out.

"Yn, what-" A hand rests on your shoulder but you shake it off. You don't want to be touched. Not by him.

"Let me help-" Han speaks again, and you scramble away from him, as best as you can anyway. You end up kneeling on the ground once again, your back to him. "Get-get away."

"I know you're mad but you aren't okay and I know how horrib-"

"You aren't helping!" you shout through tears, as your heart threatens to spill out of your throat. "You’ve hurt me e-enough already."

You don't remember how you got home that night, how you managed to open the door or cross the road leading to your dorm. But you remember Han leaving you on the cold ground, just like you wanted. You remember the ache in your bones as you laid on your bed; the burning desire to stop feeling for a night, to cut your chest open and tear off your bleeding heart.

☄༄

One month later

If there's one thing you've always complained to Chan about, it's the fact that his building had an elevator in it, unlike yours.

Today, you’ve come to regret this fact. Tremendously.

You’ve been avoiding going to Chan’s dorm for the past weeks since the last thing you wanted was to see Han. But, he insisted on you coming over, reassuring you that it would only be him and Changbin at home since Han supposedly had other plans.

Well, Chan was wrong. Because Han just walked into the elevator you are in, mere moments before its doors closed.

Your breath catches in your throat as his eyes lock on yours. He looks like he wants to say something but he decides against it, opting for sighing loudly instead, before pressing the button leading to the fourth floor, rather harshly.

Your need to flee has never been this strong.

You watch anxiously as the numbers slowly go up. 1… 2… 3… Then a loud voice startles you and the elevator starts to shake in place. The door is suddenly opened and you are met with a cement wall, blocking your exit.

"What the fuck?" Han groans as you press the emergency button repeatedly, hoping that the elevator will resume its course and this nightmare will be forgotten.

It doesn’t.

"You’re going to break the goddamn button," Han pushes your hand away and you stumble away from him.

"Can you shut up? I’m not in the mood for your bullshit."

"Does it look like I’m happy to be here?" Han scoffs, as a ringtone plays in the elevator, cutting you off before you could respond. 

"Hey guys, this happens from time to time, so no need to worry. Is everyone alright?" Someone speaks and you assume it's the worker charged with the maintenance of the elevator.

"Yes," you both reply at the same time.

"Great. We’ve contacted the mechanics but they said there’s a lot of traffic, so it might take a bit longer for them to get here."

"How long?" Han asks the question that’s on your mind as well.

"Two hours, at most, for you to get out."

"Oh, for fuck’s sake," you groan, as hot tears prickle at the corner of your eyes. This is the last thing you needed today- to be stuck in a cramped-up space with the one person who sucks the oxygen out of any room you’re in.

"Thanks, man," Han sighs and you turn your back to him, facing the wall. You’ve had a horrible day, scratch that, a horrible week. Hanging out with Chan and Changbin was the one thing you were looking forward to, only for the worst possible scenario to happen- being stuck in the same place with Han. You feel an urgent need to sob but you can’t cry in front of him. Not when he’s all claws and your skin is tender.

"Wait, are you claustrophobic?" He suddenly asks, seemingly inches away from your body.

"As if you’d fucking care," you scoff, before heading to a corner of the elevator and settling down.

"I'm not a monster, you know," he mutters in an almost sad tone, one that forces you to look up at him. His hands are deep into his pockets, eyebrows knitted as he gazes down at you. "Do you really think I’m that much of an asshole?"

"Yes," you reply instantly, before staring forward again. The hurt that flashes in his eyes shouldn’t tug at your heartstrings, but it does, ever so faintly, like the last wave that grazes your feet as you get out of the ocean. "I’m not claustrophobic," you add after a while and Han finally sits on the opposite side from you.

It’s hot and stuffy in the elevator, and it’s quiet, too quiet for your liking. You’ve never really liked silence for too long, it made the small voice in your head only grow bolder, louder, impossible to ignore.

Thirty-five excruciatingly long minutes go by and the tension only grows more suffocating. It’s simmering, barely beneath the surface, waiting for the person who will finally make it explode. 

It’s Han.

“Can I ask you something?”

“No.”

“Come on, we have nothing else to do.”

“Have you tried being silent?”

"Yn," he says sternly and you begrudgingly concede. "Fine. Ask me."

You imagine him smirking slightly, the way he does each time he manages to push you over the edge.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

“We’re not doing this right now,” you shake your head, tone adamant.

"When’s a better time for it? We’re literally never in the same place."

“And whose fault that is?” You smile too sarcastically and he frowns. “So, I’m the only one to blame?”

“Can’t you see how full of yourself you are? Fuck, Han, this is exactly what I hate about you.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“You’re so immature, you never sit back to think of how your words might impact someone.”

"What words yn? I was teasing you!" his voice grows louder and so does yours. "You were hurting me!" you yell, chest heaving. There is something utterly terrifying in this confession- to let someone know how easy it was for them to get to you.

"But I didn’t mean to," he drags a hand through his hair, exasperated. "It's not my fault you felt that way."

An ironic chuckle leaves your lips, as you point at him. "See, you're doing it again! You're blaming me for my reaction instead of evaluating how your actions might have caused it."

"Look, yn," he scrambles to you until there are only a few centimeters separating your bodies. "I really wanna fix this, okay? Can we stop screaming?"

"Why are you so hellbent on fixing it?" you question, as you lean further away from him. He notices and takes a step back, giving you space.

"Because although I don't care about you, I care about Chan. And this is hurting him. So, I want to be civil with you."

The mention of Chan feels like a cold bucket of water dousing the fire within you. You know he’s struggling to be in the middle of two people he loves. He doesn’t deserve that.

"Fine," you sigh softly. “You talk. I’ll listen.”

"I didn't... I didn't know that my words would hurt you. In truth, it looked like you weren't affected at all. That's why I kept pushing you because… God Yn you're so perfect it maddens me."

Your eyebrows knit together at his words- the last thing you expected to stumble out of his mouth. "What are you talking about?"

"You never get sad, never get angry. Your emotions are always in check. You're always smiling, always laughing. Have everything figured out from how you want to be now to where you want to be in the future. And you know yourself, you never step out of order. And this is selfish and stupid but it irked me. Because I am the opposite of you. I'm a mess and too human it terrifies me, so I wanted to see if you had a breaking point. But each time I taunted you, you remained placid. So, I kept pushing to see if you'd break one day because, selfishly enough, that would make me feel better about how broken I am."

"Han, you're so stupid. Aren't you a literal genius? You excel in everything you do and you have fun on top of it, every single night. Don't you realize how lucky you are?"

"Do you really believe I find joy in being wasted and not even remembering what happened that night? I do that because I'm in my mind most of the days and it isn't the best place to be in. So, I like to forget."

“Why do you think I always bury myself in my studies? Because it's safe and it makes me forget too. Did you really think I didn’t feel? I feel too much and that’s the problem.”

Han remains silent as you curse under your breath. "Do you even realize how selfish this is? To test a human's breaking point? All because what? I didn't shove my struggles down your nose? Would you go around and do this to everyone who looked fine to you?"

"I know, I know, I was just in a bad place, and this isn't an excuse but I... I felt as if you were just showing me everything that was wrong with me."

"That is how I felt around you," you chuckle bitterly and he hangs his head low. He’s much quieter when he speaks again. “I guess we’re more similar than I thought.”

"Doesn't excuse what you did. You targeted me and made me feel insane because no one was hearing the hostility in your tone like I did."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I really am. I never thought it'd get this bad and I deserve every name you called me."

"You do." You close your eyes, as Han’s words wash over you. There is so much more you want to say, so much you want to spit out in his face because of his selfish coping mechanism. But you also want peace, for Chan’s sake. So, you try to bury your resentment, just like you do with every other feeling. One day it’ll turn into indifference. You’ll make sure of it.

You bite your lip, before clearing your throat. Your tone is softer when you speak again. "I'm sorry for what I told you in the library. About you dying alone and whatnot. That wasn't nice of me."

"You really hit the nail with that one," Han chuckles quietly, and guilt floods your heart at the expression on his face. "And I'm sorry for calling you boring. You aren't. And for everything I said before that."

"Okay. It's okay." You reassure, a tiny smile drawn on your lips.

He nods before a sly grin grows on his face. "Should we hug it out?" he teases, cocking an eyebrow at you and you stare pointedly at him. "Don't push your luck."

"Yes, ma'am."

An hour later, the mechanics finally manage to get the elevator going, which in turn allows you both to get out. Han opens the door to the dorm, and you find Chan lying on the couch, scrolling down his phone.

"Han? I thought you would..." he starts before trailing off as he looks up. "Yn? Where were you, I’ve been calling you for the past two hours."

"I didn't have signal."

"Why where were-" Chan goes to question before stopping once again. He hurriedly stands up and walks toward you.

"You... Are standing next to one another."

"We are," Han replies, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

"And you aren't... Fighting?" his statement comes out more like a question, which makes both you and Han chuckle.

"We aren't."

"We talked it out, in the elevator which we were both just stuck in," you add and Chan’s eyes grow wide, as a breathtaking smile breaks out on his face.

"Oh my god. Finally. We'll talk about the elevator bit later but it's been so hard trying not to be in the same place as the both of you."

"We know. We're sorry," you both pout in sync and Chan shakes his head, before opening his arms wide. You giggle, before walking to him and sinking into his embrace. Han follows you shortly after, and your eyes meet behind Chan’s back. He shoots you a tiny thumbs up.

Is this how a dandelion feels, you wonder, when someone blows on it in the hopes it'll grant their selfish wishes. Only to be tossed away afterward, lifeless.

You drown out the thought before smiling back at Han. It doesn’t reach your eyes.

☄༄

Befriending two-thirds of 3racha holds within it a lot of privileges. The first one is listening to unreleased music, the second is having exclusive insight into their upcoming performances.

Their gigs don't happen as often as they'd like, because they're still students who unfortunately have lots of assignments. But when a window of free time materializes, they unveil their latest productions at vibrant parties, dimly lit bars, or even the occasional club. Which attracts a lot of people, some even coming from neighboring towns to listen to them play.

Everyone can recognize raw talent, even if rap doesn't happen to be their favorite genre.

This is how you know that they'll be performing Heyday, their latest creation, at Seungmin’s party. You've met him in passing, and Chan insisted that you'd come. Not that you needed much convincing anyway, you fell in love with this song the minute you heard it.

There is an exhilarating energy in Seungmin’s mansion, a palpable anticipation preceding 3racha’s performance, as you all gaze at the makeshift stage. The place is packed, bodies pressed tightly to one another. You feel slightly uncomfortable but you swallow it down. You're here to support Chan first and foremost, you can leave if things become too much for you.

The introductory chords materialize abruptly, and 3racha takes the stage. Chan is clad in a white shirt with huge gaps on his sides, revealing glimpses of his chest each time he bends down. Changbin, on the opposite end of the spectrum, is wearing a tightly fitted black shirt, hugging each muscle of his to perfection. Han, the last one to walk in, sports a loose black shirt, with a low neckline. His nails are painted to match the color of his attire, you notice.

The song kicks off with Changbin's incendiary rap as deafening cheers ring all around you. You make sure to scream on top of your lungs too, as Changbin’s loud voice commands the attention of everyone in the room. You’ve always held a penchant for his rap style- how powerful he sounds, and how addicted you quickly become to hearing him on stage. You remember once telling him that any song that starts with his rapping is a successful hit. He playfully nudged your shoulder but his appreciative smile was hard to miss.

Chan’s part is next and you try to rap along, as best as you can anyway due to your fleeting memory. It sounds mostly like gibberish but you don’t mind, especially when your eyes meet Chan’s and he grins at you, before morphing into the mesmerizing stage persona that's peculiar to him. You clearly remember the first time you witnessed him on stage, and how enthralled you were by the sheer power he exuded. His destiny was intertwined with music, no one could deny that. 

A bed squeaking sound comes next, followed by the knocking on the door and you giggle against your will. That was Han’s ingenious touch, as Chan had shared when you'd raised a quizzical brow at him while listening. “Is this based on a real-life experience?” You asked, a knowing smirk etched upon your features, and he pretended to zip his mouth, earlobes turning a vibrant shade of crimson.

Han finally starts rapping in his inimitable style, exuding an effortless, laid-back aura. Your gazes meet at the "let's go play" line, and he tilts his head quizzically at you as he utters his confused "huh?". You raise one eyebrow at him prompting a sly smirk from him, before redirecting his attention to the opposite side of the stage. Yet, your eyes remain on him throughout his entire part.

The boys step off the stage, and you watch from the corner of the room with a wide grin as a swarm of people surrounds them. Congratulations and praise fill the air, and you can tell that 3racha thrives on this moment- it's what they live for, what makes their souls rise up from the ashes. 

Chan catches your eye, and you applaud enthusiastically, letting out a happy giggle. He blows you a kiss, and you playfully pretend to catch it, eliciting a small shake of his head. Changbin, who's standing near him, catches the exchange and winks at you from a distance, to which you respond with two thumbs up.

Even though you're a bit far from them, you're certain the boys can sense the pride radiating from you in waves. There's something truly magical about humans existing in their element, particularly people you care about.

Your gaze shifts to Han, and your smile falters slightly. He's also glowing, but signs of discomfort are starting to creep onto his face. You recognize them fairly well, as you've felt them too at times when emotions become overwhelming. So, after a brief internal debate, you decide to act and begin making your way toward him, pushing through the crowd despite the rising complaints behind you.

They fall on deaf ears.

You grab Han's forearm, pulling him with you through the sea of bodies toward the bathroom. He doesn't fight, following diligently behind you. You open the door and pull him inside, pausing as you realize you don't have a specific plan for bringing him here. This is also the first time you've been alone together since the elevator conversation.

"Thank you," Han whispers, and you nod, your eyes softening. "I'm okay, I love performing, I just needed a breather," he quickly adds, as if feeling guilty for being overwhelmed. 

"That's completely understandable. You are running on a lot of adrenaline, and the room is so crowded," you say with a smile, turning to the mirror to touch up your makeup.

Han remains silent for a while as you powder your face, before reapplying your cherry lip gloss. You can hear him taking in deep breaths, and you avoid looking at him, worried he might feel embarrassed.

"What did you think of the performance?" he finally asks, and you raise your head slightly. You lock eyes with him through the mirror, as he leans against the door, arms crossed in front of his chest. His black t-shirt falls a bit, revealing more of his bare skin, and your eyes trail down for a moment.

"It was really good. I think this song might be my favorite of all yours."

"Really?" Han grins, his words filled with an excitement that warms your heart despite yourself. He's just received heaps of compliments from hundreds of people, yet your words still seem to affect him deeply.

"Yes. I loved your rap, how it started in a laid-back manner, and then you cleared your throat and picked up the pace. It added a unique edge to the song."

"Thank you, really," his smile is genuine, and you giggle softly, shaking your head.

"What's funny?" he asks, walking up to you. You're still facing the mirror, and he's now only inches away from you.

"I didn't imagine you'd appreciate my compliment this much."

"It feels sincere," he shrugs and you nod, finally turning around and leaning against the sink.

"It is sincere."

"Good."

You hold his gaze, eyes only trailing down to go across his face. He looks far different from how he did on stage. Shier, more eager for praise.

"You have..." he steps up until the scent of his cologne tickles your nose. His hand raises ever so slowly to your face, and you hold your breath, as he picks up something from your cheek. His hands are warm.

"An eyelash fell. Make a wish."

A surprised chuckle escapes your lips. "You wish on fallen lashes?"

"You wish on everything when you need hope." his voice is low, a timber so foreign to your ears it sends shivers down your spine. So, you close your eyes, wishing for your heart to quit beating so fast.

"Done," you whisper and he blows the single lash away, his gaze still on you.

"Thank you for coming."

"Of course. I had to support Chan and Changbin." It slips from your mouth before you can stop it, and Han slightly recoils from your words.

"Right, them. Yeah. Of course," he finally backs away, and oxygen fills your lungs once again. "I'm good now. Should we go out?"

"After you," you nod tightly and he walks ahead first, his perfume trailing after him and pulling you into a dizzying dance. 

☄༄

The party Seungmin hosted was your last time having fun for a while. Your preparation for midterm exams began soon after, and you found yourself swarmed with assignments left and right. Thankfully, you and Chan were going through it at the same time, which meant you met at the library each day, revising silently near one another.

Except this time, you were joined by Han.

Goosebumps ran across your skin as he pulled the chair next to you, not the good kind of shivers. You were reminded of the fight you had right here, three months ago. Which still left a bitter taste in your mouth.

You don't hate Han anymore. He's actually funny, and you enjoy listening to his ramblings when you go over to Chan's dorm. He's also really different in his home, much quieter, and softer. Much more like you.

But you're also human, and there is still a part of your brain sending off warning signals at his presence. Maybe because the hurt was never buried properly. You just brushed it off under the carpet after your elevator conversation. Most of it was spent shouting anyway.

"Hey," he greets and you just nod in reply. You can feel his gaze linger on you a bit after that, and a pang of guilt twists in your heart. "Hi," you finally reply, but you tune out his response. Why is it that you're sensitive to everyone's emotions but your own?

Twenty minutes go by, then forty, and you can no longer take the uncomfortable feeling clinging to your skin. So, you excuse yourself, hurriedly stepping out of the library.

Han follows you; you can tell it’s him because someone's chair scraped loudly against the floor as soon as you stood up, and that couldn't be Chan because he is always careful with the silence in the library. So, you put on your headphones and walk faster.

This is childish, surely it is, but you can't control your emotions. You've apologized and so did he, you talk from time to time and you even held his arm and took him to a quiet bathroom. So where is all this bitterness coming from?

"Dammit, yn, how are you so fast?" Han grabs your arm pausing you. He's panting slightly and you just blankly stare as he takes in a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" he finally asks and you nod, turning around to walk away. He stops you again.

"I made you uncomfortable, didn't I?" he asks quietly, and you sigh, rubbing your forehead wearily.

"You didn't do anything, I just... Being in that library reminded me of certain things."

"I know. Me too. Can we please talk?"

"We are talking," you raise your brows and he stares pointedly at you. "Come on you know what I mean."

"Fine," you giggle, "we can talk."

"I didn't apologize properly to you in the elevator. Truth is, I did it because Chan was mad at me and I couldn't stand it anymore."

The bitterness- you understand where it comes from now.

"But I am sorry. Truly sorry. I was selfish and I hurt you and this will sound like a joke, but I hate hurting people. I really do. I was just too wrapped up in my problems that I didn't realize how it would affect you and I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I also shouldn't have tried to kick you out that day, but dying alone is my biggest fear, and seeing you in my home made me want to lose my mind because I couldn't get what you said out of my head, but it was so cold outside and again I shouldn't have told you to go out and I am so sorry-"

"Han, breathe," you smile, cutting him off and Han sucks in a deep breath, chest slightly heaving from talking uninterrupted for a minute straight.

"I'm sorry I just wanted to apologize, properly this time. I'm doing it because I'm guilty, not because of Chan. Nothing excuses my behavior, I know. And I wish I could turn back in time and actually get to know you because you're really cool and very nice, but I can't. All I can do is apologize. So I'm sorry, Yn. I really am."

"I appreciate it," you smile, and Han exhales a little from relief. "I didn't know that was your biggest fear, but even if it wasn't, that was uncalled for. I shouldn't have said something so mean. So, I'm sorry for it too. But I'm not apologizing for being mad, you deserved that."

"I did, I did, I know." He's quick to agree. "I don't want us to be awkward around one another. I'm not telling you that you have to be my best friend but, we can be friends, right? But you also don't have to. It's enough if you forgive me and... You know what? Never mind forget I said anything, I'm just nervous and-"

"Okay."

"Okay?" he repeats.

"We can be friends. I accept your truthful apology."

"Actually?"

"Yes."

"Like we can start over?" he grins and you chuckle at the excitement in his face. "Yes."

"Can we hug it out?"

"Too soon," you pout and he nods, a faint blush dusting his cheek.

"Right. Should we go back to the library? I saw that you were stuck on a question. I can help you."

"You won't make any comments?"

"No. Pinky promise." he outstretches his pinky towards you and you muse over it for a bit, before wrapping your finger around his. You grin at Han- your first genuine smile since he's known you. His hold on your pinky falters.

"Okay. I'm in."

.☄༄

Five weeks later- 1:13 a.m.

You were still slightly cautious near Han as if you were both threading along an invisible line. You could talk, but not too much, afraid any old animosity would shine through. And you could stay together, but not too long, in case it gets awkward and you wouldn't know what to do. So, you never mixed, just like water and oil, each of you knowing their place, away from the other.

But you still didn't want to miss out on outings with your friends. So, when Chan invites you for a movie night with Han, and Changbin, you don't say no.

The night runs smoothly, the warm beer you had easing your nerves bit by bit. It was also easier to forget that you once hated Han when he brought tears to your eyes from laughing so hard.

2:56 a.m.

An unbearable heat suddenly envelopes you, your very blood boiling from within. You hesitantly look down, to find your entire body bathed in red, as if your skin had melted away, exposing you to the scorching heat embracing your tender flesh.

You are in the heart of a volcano, with lava bubbling dangerously below. Hanging by a frail thread, you dangle over the edge of death.

And then, you plummet. 

You startle awake, your heart pounding in your chest, your hand clutching it tightly. Cold sweat clings to your skin, and it takes you a few moments to realize that you're safe, far from the inside of the volcano that had threatened to consume you.

You glance at your phone- 3:43 a.m. You read. It's only been a mere hour since you went to sleep. You don't think you could drift back into slumber. 

Dragging a hand tiredly across your face, you walk into the pitch-black kitchen. You pour yourself a glass of water, hoping that the icy drink will cool you down. You are safe.

"What are you-" you startle, dropping the glass and spinning around, hand pressed to your heart.

"Han, fuck, you scared me," you sigh, tugging at your hair slightly and he's quick to your side, a string of hushed apologies tumbling from his lips.

"I'm sorry, here let me clean it up," he kneels and you follow suit, grabbing his hands and gently pushing them away. "No, I dropped it, let me clean," you reassure, but your hands are trembling as you pick up the shards of glass, any bit of logic clouded by your racing thoughts.

Your heartbeat's ringing loudly in your ears, you barely register the glass cutting your skin until an uncharacteristic warmth oozes from your hand. Blood.

"Shit," you curse lowly and Han illuminates the place with his phone flashlight. "Did you cut yourself?" he asks and you shake your head, walking over to the sink.

"It's nothing, don't worry."

"Yn, let me see," he's standing behind you, the ghost of his breath grazing your exposed neck.

"Han, really it's-" he cuts you off, grabbing your forearm and walking you over to the couch. He finally turns on the lights before crouching down in front of you.

"Show me?" he asks gently and you're too tired to fight him. You open your palm tentatively, taking a look at your cut for the first time as well. It's not too deep, it won't require stitches. But it's also not shallow, blood oozing from it at a steady rhythm.

Han simply frowns upon gazing at your wound, before walking over to his room. You don't move from your spot, gaze lost into the space before you. What would happen if you never woke up? Would you feel your flesh burning? Bones melting as the searing lava-

"Here," he gently holds your wrist, as his eyes meet yours. "This will hurt a bit. Hold my arm as tight as you want and tell me if it becomes too much, okay?"

"Okay," you simply nod.

He dabs up your cut with a cotton pad soaked in alcohol. You hiss softly, as the liquid burns your open skin. Han abruptly stops at the sound. "Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry I didn't mean to I just-"

"It's okay," you smile reassuringly, "I can handle it."

Han nods, resuming his treatment. He's even softer this time, if that is even possible. He's careful when he rubs a soothing gel on your cut, before wrapping your palm in a gauze. He can't find a pair of scissors so he cuts it with his teeth, his lips brushing against the back of your hand. You account the warmth you're suddenly feeling to the aftermath of your nightmare.

"Why are you even up?" he finally asks as he settles next to you on the couch, eyes looking up to the ceiling.

"Nightmare."

"You’re okay?" he asks gently and he sounds truly concerned for your well-being. You aren't used to this. To Han acting like a friend to you. But it feels nice to be cared for, so you don't mind him blurring the lines tonight.

"I'm still a little bit scared," you admit sheepishly and Han's eyes soften under the dim moonlight.

"It passed. You're okay now."

"Am I?" you drag a hand tiredly across your face and Han frowns, inching closer to you.

"Is it a recurring dream?"

"Mm. It tires me out."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I just want to forget." 'Help me forget' you want to add, but you decide against it. "Why were you up, anyway?"

"I got inspiration for lyrics so I had to write it down."

"Can you share some with me?" you ask, tone a tad too hopeful. Han catches it and smiles warmly at you.

"Sure. This is probably going to be in the chorus..." he pulls out his phone, heading to his notes app. "This is what I have so far... I let my frustrated screams out hoping that they’d be washed away in the rain. I send it off with a smiling face, down to the last drops left on my fingertips." he pauses, scrolling down a bit more. "I also wrote this; I think it'll be nice in a verse... I’m sure it’ll get better... Just like the earth hardens after the rain and flowers bloom again."

"You're such a talented lyricist Han," you whisper in awe, and Han’s cheeks warm up at your words, reminiscent of a setting sun. "But I also wish it was as easy as this. To let out all the emotions you bottle inside and for them to wash away with the rain." You bite your lip, as Han’s words echo in your head. "I think... I think that's why I get this nightmare. I don't free my emotions anymore, and they show up in my dreams to torment me."

You don't know where these bouts of honesty are coming from. Maybe because you're too weary to keep up a happy facade. Or maybe because you know that the person who wrote these lyrics must understand exactly how you feel.

"Well... It's raining." Han whispers after a while and you look at him, confusion plastered across your features.

"And?"

"Should we test it out?"

"Test what?"

"Screaming under the rain," he says as if it's the most evident thing in the world.

"What? That's insane, Han we will get sick and..." You pause, as the words dissolve in your mouth like the seafoam meeting the shore. "You know what? Let's do it!"

"Really?" he asks incredulously, a huge grin on his face.

"Yes!"

"Okay, let's go!"

You both abruptly stand up, still only clad in your pajamas. You quickly slip your shoes on before running outside. The rain envelops you in a cold hug as soon as you step outside, rain droplets trickling down your clothes. You don't mind, you have lots of bottled-up feelings to free. 

"This needs music," Han smiles as he takes out his phone, putting his playlist on shuffle. 'Let The Light In' starts playing, and you shoot him a thumbs-up.

"It fits the rainy mood," you grin and he nods, squinting his eyes to be able to look at you.

"I think if we scream here, we'll scare the neighbors."

"I know!" you chuckle, wiping away the rain droplets on your forehead. "Where should we go?"

"The empty parking lot!" Han shouts so you'll hear him over the growing rain and you nod. He takes off running and you chase after him. You're both completely drenched once you're a bit far away from the house. But you don't care. Not when there is pure adrenaline rushing through you.

You finally stop, loud giggles escaping your mouth at the thrill of what you're doing. "You should start!" you yell excitedly and Han nods, taking in deep steadying breaths.

"Okay, I'm ready!"

"On the count of three! One... Two... Three!" and Han shouts at the top of his lungs, his screams getting lost in the rain. An incredulous smile breaks out on his face as you giggle loudly, the sound of it ringing out in the downpour.

"You looked insane!"

"I feel insane!" He yells honestly and a fit of laughter takes over you both. You hold his arm to steady yourself. 

"You should try it now!" Han urges and you nod, willing yourself to calm down. 

"Okay, will you count down for me?" 

"Yes," he assures and you clap excitedly. Han can't help but smile at the excitement on your face.

"One... Two... Three!" And you shout, continuous screams spilling from the depths of your soul. Han wasn't wrong- your pain, your fear, your anger are all dripping along the rain droplets, from your bruised heart to the tip of your fingers.

You've never felt this free before.

The two of you don't notice the passage of time, the rain acting as a cathartic release to all your pent-up emotions. It was as if your pain intertwined with each rain droplet, and you were letting go of everything that had held you down. Each scream acted as a break from the burdens of the past, and the worries of the future. 

As you finally stopped, panting and soaked to the bone, you looked at each other with raw exhilaration in your eyes.

"So, how was it?" Han yells over the rain and you break out in a relieved smile. "I don't think I’ve ever been this happy my entire life," you beam at him and the sight makes the rain feel less colder to Han. 

He watches, a small smile on his face as you twirl around, face looking up toward the sky, a deluge of rain grazing your cheeks like a lover's tender touch. The smile doesn't leave your face as you spin around, happy chuckles leaving your mouth from time to time.

You look... free. As if there was an invisible weight on your shoulders that the rain washed away. A heavy burden that you carried within you, like a secret secret. He likes the sound of that. Maybe that's what he'll name his song. 

Han slightly shakes his head as he watches you skip around, clothes completely soaked. You are now standing a bit far away, right beside a street lamp.

Ooh, let the light in

Its light shines on you alone.

Time seems to slow down, as Han’s steps falter. You're smiling, not at him, but at the universe. A happiness so raw filling you that it needs to come out, even if no one's watching.

You're spinning around, delighted giggles spilling from you like the most mesmerizing chorus. Something is building up inside Han, begging for a release. It refuses to come out in a scream- violently. It's tender and soft. He thinks that if you held his hand right now, you'd be able to free it.

Look at us, you and I back at it again

Is it possible to feel something other than an emotion? Because right now, weirdly, all he feels is you.

Cause I love to love to love to love you

I hate to hate to hate to hate you

Your eyes land on Han and there is pure joy dancing in your pupils. He's glad you no longer despise him. He doesn't think he can stomach it anymore.

Cause I want to want to want to want you

You run to him, holding his hand before twirling him around.

I need to need to need to need you

Han can't believe he ever thought you weren't human enough. You are a mosaic of every feeling that makes one human. There are lyrics writing themselves in his head and they're all about you.

Ooh, let the light in

You clasp both his hands, before crossing them over. And then you're both spinning around until the world around you blurs. All he sees is you, and the light surrounding you alone.

Ooh, turn your light on

He thinks he might, if the light is you.

5:22 a.m

"There is a heater in my room, you should come," Han offers as you dry your hair with the blue towel he just handed you.

"It's okay I’ll stay here," you point to the couch but he shakes his head adamantly. "You'll die from hypothermia. Do you know how mad Chan will be if I let you pass away?" he whispers in fear, a hand clutching his heart.

"So dramatic," you giggle, before following him into his room. He goes on his bed first before tapping the spot beside him. You sigh before lying next to him, snuggling further into the hoodie he gave you to change.

"You're still shivering," he remarks, as your teeth clink together.

"It's okay."

"You shouldn't have gone out with just a t-shirt."

"I didn't exactly plan on this, you know," you smile sarcastically and Han chuckles before tapping your shoulder softly.

"Come closer."

You debate for a second before complying, the cold tuning out all the rational thoughts in your head. 

Your arm brushes against his and you can't breathe once again. But it's a different type of deprivation. Han always seems to steal the oxygen from your lungs, but for once, you don't mind. Red embers are burning within you and their flames keep you alive. You press your chest to his back, as your forehead rests on his shoulder. Maybe he'll turn you to ashes. Will you rise from them?

"You're so cold," his hand reaches behind to rub your arms soothingly, an earnest attempt to warm you up.

"I’ll be fine, go to sleep. Don't worry about me."

"I can't control it."

In the dark room, Han can't see you curling your hand into a tight fist at his words. 

"If you stay quiet then I’ll sleep," you say after a while and Han giggles softly.

"That's the goal. You need to rest."

"You should sleep too."

"I will."

"Okay. Good night, Han."

"Good night, Yn."

You think he's fallen asleep when you speak up again. "Hey, Han."

"Yes, Yn?" He replies instantly, voice slightly hoarse. 

"Can you repeat that lyric to me, about the flowers blooming again?" You ask quietly, and you feel him nodding against your chest.

"I’m sure it’ll get better... Just like the earth hardens after the rain and flowers bloom again."

His warm voice vibrates within your body. "That's a nice lyric."

"I hope you'll dream of it instead."

☄༄

Against Han’s strong belief, he's the one who fell sick after your rain-soaked outing. 

You knew of it from Chan, who texted you saying that Han caught a nasty cold, and then got food poisoning, which meant he couldn't be there for their highly anticipated meeting—after their electrifying Heyday performance, a record label expressed strong interest in signing them. 

"Can you come over and stay with Han?" Chan implores as soon as he answers your call.

“That bad?” You ask, a pout pulling at your lips.

"I don't want to leave him alone. He's been really sick for the past week now, and… it's partly your fault"

"I can’t believe you’re guilt-tripping me into coming," you chuckle even though you know he is right. Han wouldn’t have gotten out in the rain if it wasn’t for you.

"I'm sorry it’s just I don't think he's been good, apart from the illness. And I’m worried, and I don’t know I thought maybe you could talk to him. He reminds me of you, in his sadness, so you might understand what's wrong more than me."

You think it over for a second before rising up from your bed.

"I'm coming"

As soon as you step inside their dorm, Chan pulls you for a side hug, placing a quick kiss on your forehead. “Thank you so much,” he whispers, clearly grateful that you agreed to come. It worries you even more for Han.

“No problem. You can go, I’ll be with him.”

“Thank you, Yn” Changbin smiles before hastily pulling Chan outside the door. You wave them both goodbye.

You cautiously crack open the door to Han’s room, to find it completely engulfed in darkness. The stream of light from the door falls upon Han, who squints his eyes, trying to see who disrupted his fragile peace.

"Hi," you speak softly, finding it a bit odd to raise your voice in such a still room. Han attempts to sit up, before doubling over, hand tightly clutched around his stomach.

You rush to his side, kneeling beside his bed. It's the only lit-up part of the room.

"Still hurts?" you ask, your hand moving in soothing circles on his back. He nods, eyes squeezed shut, and you feel your heart crack at the sight.

"Have you taken any medicine?"

"A few hours ago. I need to eat something before I can take more, but I can't get up to the kitchen."

"Why didn't you tell the boys?"

"Didn't want to be a burden."

"You aren't. I'll make you something to eat. Okay? Try to sleep meanwhile."

"You don't have to," Han shakes his head, his eyes finally meeting yours.

"I know," you smile softly, before exiting the room.

Minutes later, you're back in the room, a bowl of sliced fruit in your hands.

"Do you guys live off protein powder and frozen chicken?" you ask, earning a quiet laugh from Han as he lays his back against the headboard.

"We do. Please save me," he jokes and you laugh, shaking your head. "Good thing I grabbed some fruit before leaving."

"Thank you," he grins, eyes slightly squinting closed. 

"Here," you grab a strawberry, bringing it to his lips. His eyebrows raise up in surprise, a sheen layer of sweat coating them. "What? Look at how tightly you're clutching the comforter," you point to his hands and Han sighs, before parting his lips slightly.

His mouth brushes against your fingertips, igniting a cascade of emotions in you. You'll think about what it means later.

You grab a green grape next, feeding it to him gently. A drop of water trickles down the corner of his mouth, and you wipe it away with the back of your finger.

"I can- I can do it," Han mumbles, voice wavering like an unpredictable storm. His trembling hands reach for the bowl, but they struggle to hold it right.

"Han, it's okay, I don't mind," you try to keep your voice gentle, sensing that there is an impending doom awaiting just below the surface.

"No, I- I need to do it. Just let me-" A tear falls into the fruit bowl. "Let me do it, please. I can- I can do it, I’m not useless, I…"

The floodgate opens.

A stream of tears escapes Han's eyes as he looks down at the bowl between his hands. He's crying, eyes tightly shut and the small whimpers escaping his lips feel like a dagger piercing your heart.

"You're sick. Let me take care of you."

"It's horrible horrible work." His voice cracks as his eyes finally lock on yours, and you can tell that his anguish isn't about his illness. These are the words of the shadows threatening to swallow him whole. You have to fight them off with the light.

"I will do it."

As Han lays on his bed, the sound of you washing the dishes resonating from the kitchen, your voice bounces off the dark walls in his head. You didn't try to convince him that it was easy work, you told him you'll do it, even if it's horrible. You'll do it because you want to, not because you can, not because it's accessible. The thought sends a warmth in his chest. It's faint, like a flickering candle trying its best to withstand the wind. But it's there. He holds on to it. He'll shield it with his cupped hands so it wouldn't fizzle out. 

"Hannie, you’re okay?" you peer into the room. Hannie- the candle's flame grows higher.

"Mm," he hums, too weak to turn and look at you.

"You're shivering," you remark, and he tightens the blanket around his body. "It'll pass."

You stay silent, and he thinks you've left the room. But then he feels the left side of the bed dip, with you climbing tentatively on it.

"This worked last time when I was cold," you smile softly at him, before bringing his head to your chest and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He feels frail and fragile in your embrace. You hug him tighter to you.

"Warming up?" you ask and he nods against your chest. He's burning.

"Try to sleep," you urge quietly, your hand moving to pat his back. "It will pass."

"What if it doesn't?" Han asks faintly. Please don't let the candle die, he wants to plead.

"There is always light at the end of the tunnel."

"What if the tunnel is closed?"

"Then you go back to the start and find a new one," you respond.

"Can I find it later? I'm so tired tonight." His voice is drowsy, sleep already clinging to his achy bones. 

"Just rest for now. You did well," you scratch his back lightly, as he nuzzles further into the crook of your neck. 

There was never a candle to begin with- you were the light.

☄༄

Had someone told you five months ago that you'd be lying on Han's bed, watching "Howl's Moving Castle" at 2 a.m., you would've thought they were utterly delusional.

Yet, here you are now.

A lot of things had changed since your rainy outing with Han, as if the universe had shifted into alignment, two stars in the sky finally colliding and making way for something new. You saw him under a different light, understanding that no one picks up a dandelion unless they desperately need the solace it provides.

You've grown to care for him, in the course of the past two months. And funnily enough, you've started to like who you were next to him- just yourself, with no pressure of making conversation, or catering to his expectations of you.

He saw you at your worst anyway, and so did you, there was no use in filtering things anymore.

You've been there through the entire process of writing, composing, and producing Secret Secret- the song whose lyrics had captured your heart. You didn't expect him to ask you to be there with him, he just shot you a text, three days after you came over to his house. 'Wanna be there while I work on the song? I know you liked the lyrics.' It was an offer you couldn't pass up on.

You weren't, in your opinion, much help. Han was gifted in the music realm and song-making flowed naturally from him. But he noticed how interested you were in music, so he called you over each time he worked on the song, even asking for your input at times.

That's why, when the song was finally done and released on 3racha's Spotify account, you decided to celebrate by baking him a cake. You may have dropped an eggshell in the batter (you recovered it later on), and the icing's color turned out less vibrant than what you hoped for. But you managed to adorn it with a garden of little flowers, and with store-bought icing, you wrote the words "after the rain flowers will bloom again."

You showed up to the dorm and Changbin pointed you to Han's room, where he had apparently been holed up all day. You shot him a grateful smile, before pushing the door open with your foot.

"What are you doing here?" Han asked, an incredulous smile drawn on his lips.

"Surprise!" you grinned, pushing the cake his way. "Congrats on making Secret Secret."

"Are you serious?" he chuckled, jumping out of his bed. He peered at the cake, eyes softening as he gazed down at the design.

"You drew a little garden..." he whispered in awe and you nodded, a faint blush creeping up your face.

"I'm glad you recognized what it was. I'm not the best baker," you admit a bit shyly but he shook his head. "It's perfect. I can't believe you did this to celebrate our baby!"

"Your baby," you corrected, although the use of 'our' warmed up your chest, weirdly enough.

"You were here with me every step of the way. She's ours."

"It's a she?" you giggled, and he smiled proudly.

"Mm. Do you accept being her mother?" he mused; hands clasped in front of his heart like he was praying you'd say yes.

"It would be my greatest honor," you nodded solemnly, and he let out a breathy chuckle, grabbing the cake from your hands and setting it on his bed.

"Should we hug it out?" he teased, arms stretched wide but you merely stared at him, unimpressed.

"Come on," he whined, "you can't reject me for the third time. And, in front of our child. On her birthday!" his tone grew louder and you couldn't help but giggle at his mock outrage.

"Try harder."

"Our child won't know what a loving parent relationship is and then she'll seek out unhealthy love from the ones around her and-" you cut him off by finally wrapping your arms around him.

You've always known that being near Han left you breathless, but this time, it felt as though he was breathing life into you. You close your eyes instinctively, as his hold tightens on you. He smells immensely nice, like pinewood and soap. You should've hugged him sooner.

"Thank you," he said quietly, forehead pressed against your shoulder blade.

"You did well," you whisper back.

"We did. She's our child, remember?" he reprimanded and you laughed faintly.

"Yeah, ours."

Hours later, the movie's credits finally roll down, and the finished cake sits idly by Han's desk.

"I should go," you rub your eyes tiredly, and Han stares at you as if you are out of your mind.

"At this hour? Do you want our kid to lose her mom?"

"Han," you drawl, hitting his head with the pillow next to you. "You can't hold me hostage."

"I can, as your husband."

"Since when are we married?"

"Since you agreed to be Secret's mother." Another playful hit to his face.

"Stop attacking my face, how will I get laid then?"

"So, you are cheating on me?" you ask, feigning outrage.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby you're the only one I want." You falter at the nickname before hitting him even harder, matching the tempo of your quickening heartbeat.

"You're crazy," he laughs, grabbing your wrists and pinning you onto the bed. He's hovering over you, eyes hooded with a tender intensity as he gazes down at you.

"Will you stay, please?"

"The couch is uncomfortable," you reply, avoiding his eyes. He lets go of one wrist before holding your chin gently, urging you to look at him.

"You can sleep here. We've done it before."

"You were freezing both times. That's why I did it."

"I'm very cold tonight," he pouts, eliciting a surprised chuckle from you.

"Are you now?"

"Very much so."

"Fine. Only because I don't want you to die from hypothermia."

"Thank you!" he grins excitedly, finally letting go of your wrist. You bring a hand to your flushed cheeks, as he tosses a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants in your direction.

"Get changed! There is a spare toothbrush in the cabinet."

You make sure to groan theatrically, before heading into the bathroom, where you splash your face repeatedly with water. You aren't used to this- being a blushy mess, because of Han, nonetheless. It was dizzying you, how things took the complete opposite turn between you and him.

At least, back then you weren't alone in your hate, you couldn't stand being alone in your affection.

So, you'd stop this, whatever feeling that's coursing through you. Tomorrow, you will firmly close the door on the blooming feelings within you. But tonight, you’d both lay on the same bed, arms brushing against one another. It's completely dark and quiet, but there is an entire symphony playing within you.

"Thank you for today," he whispers, turning around and tucking his arm under his head, this way he's facing you.

You mirror his actions, and your fingertips brush against one another. You can't see him but you can feel him. He's everywhere, wrapping around all your senses. 

"Thank you for making this song. It's very comforting to me."

"Why is that?" he questions, inching closer to you, you can feel his minty breath fan all over your face.

"I’ve always felt like I carried too many emotions within me. Like a volcano, bubbling over until the day I explode. I never liked feeling this way, so I tried to hide it," you confess softly.

"Like a secret secret."

"Like a secret secret," you repeat, glad that he understands.

"You don't have to hide with me," he says after a few silent beats, and you swallow nervously.

"I know." you lick your lips as the music inside you grows louder. "Still cold?"

"A little."

"Come closer," you beckon, and he complies instantly, wrapping his arm behind your back and drawing your chest close to his. Your legs entangle with one another, as your face lays on the crook of his neck. It's intimate, far more than any time you've done it before. You don't want to sink in his hold in fear of never resurfacing again.

"Good?" he asks, voice tinged with a newfound raspiness. 

"Mm," you hum, and he releases a relieved sigh.

You've once read that everything in this universe sings. Every atom's vibration creates a sound, contributing to a grand celestial chorus. It's an unscientific, but lovely thought, to wonder who our hearts sing for.

Right now, it's for Han.

☄༄

The music echoes through your being, an ever-present melody that refuses to fade into silence. Even with no audience to enjoy it.

Han always found his way back to your side, no matter how many times you've tried to distance yourself from him. And you couldn't bring yourself to refuse him, because you were friends, first and foremost. And friends don't abandon one another just because a mere glance at them sprouts a blush across your cheeks. 

That's how you find yourself on your way to Han's dorm, for the third time that week. Watching movies together has become your little tradition, for the past few months, and sometimes even Chan joins in. Although he mostly enjoys shooting you a knowing smile, to which you flip him off.

Your phone rings and Han's name illuminates your screen. You smile against your will.

"Can't wait to see me this much?" you singsong and Han's chuckle rings through the phone. It's rich and deep, causing you to tighten your hold on the device.

"Yes. And can you please go to the store? I'm out of snacks."

"What do I get out of it?" you muse, changing directions to the nearest convenience store.

"Snacks."

"Asshole," you giggle on your way to cross the road.

"And my eternal gratitude of course."

"Right, because I can't-" Loud tires screech right beside you and you startle, letting out a loud yelp as you drop your phone.

A hand on top of your heart, you bend down to pick up your fallen device, as the driver gets out of the car that grazed your body, mere inches away from hitting you. 

"Are you okay, miss? I'm sorry I didn't see you." The middle-aged man is quick to your side, and you glance at the small kid in his car, willing yourself to calm down for their sake.

"I'm fine. Just a bit startled. Drive more slowly, there is a kid with you."

"I know, I'm sorry," he drags a hand through his stressed features and you couldn't help but feel sympathy for him. "It's okay, don't worry about it. Just pay more attention to the road, okay?"

"Thank you so much. Thank you," he clasps his hand in gratitude before getting back to his car and you wave him off, your heart still wildly beating in your chest.

You head into the convenience store, picking up the snacks you know Han loves before paying for them. But as soon as you step back outside, you spot a disheveled Han crossing the road, sprinting toward the store. His pace quickens upon spotting you.

"What are you..." your question is cut short as his arms wrap around you, pulling you to his chest instantly. You can feel the frantic rhythm of his heart, and you're confused as he pulls away, hands cradling your cheeks and turning your face left and right.

"You're alright, nothing happened to you, right? You’re okay?" he inquires urgently and you let out a confused giggle, as you grab his arm to steady him.

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard the tires screech and you yelled and then you didn't pick up when I called and I thought-" his voice cracks. "I thought something happened to you."

"No, no. I'm okay. Nothing happened, I promise." you reassure, as he brings you to his chest once again, his hand smoothing the top of your hair.

"I was so scared," he kisses your temple, as his thumping heart resounds within your chest. "So terrified that something would happen to you. I thought I'd lose my mind."

"You don't mean that," you shake your head slowly, peeling yourself away from him.

"Can you really not see how much I care about you? How I crave being near you?" his voice raises a slight octave. The music in you picks up.

"How long do I have to pretend to be cold to have you nearby? For god's sake, I'm never cold around you, yn. When I see you, I ignite." He takes in a deep breath, pressing his forehead onto your shoulder. "And I... I couldn't have lived with myself if something happened to you. I... You drive me crazy, Yn. When we became friends it felt like I was stepping inside a home for the first time, and yet I already knew each turn in it."

He grabs your arms, shaking you slightly as his chest heaves up and down. "My darkness recognizes yours and my light is you and you- you think I wouldn't care if anything happened to you?"

He shakes his head as tears prickle in the corners of his eyes. Has his music always been this loud, were you just not listening properly?

"I'm scared because we didn't start well and I understand if a part of your heart still resents me, I do. But I don't think I can pretend anymore. Not with you," his voice softens as his gaze locks on yours.

"Were you pretending too?" He asks, hope dripping from his tone. "Do you feel it too?"

A split second goes by. A candle flickering somewhere. A dandelion plucked from the ground. The shadow of a cloud passing over the sun- and you pick.

"I feel it too. So much that my heart feels like it’s singing for you, Han."

"I'll sing for it in return," he whispers, before crashing his lips onto yours. His hand slides up the back of your neck, drawing you closer. You drop the bags of groceries as you cradle his cheeks, feeling them warm up beneath your touch. You can't believe you've ever disliked your heart for feeling too much, not when the lovely emotions flowing in your heart threaten to burst it at the seams, submerging you in a warmth you've never known before- Han. 

Two months later

You have 3 new messages from: hannie

"kept this song a secret from you baby but i wrote it for you so you can't be mad"

"i don't know if you remember but you’ve once told me that you are a volcano. as if that’s something that’s supposed to put me off. well, some people dedicate their lives to studying volcanos. and i would dedicate mine to learning you."

"Volcano.mp3."

Light.

[dazed--xx]

SKZ Break up Reaction (Maknae Line)

A/N:so I’m uploading this on my phone cause my 4 year old decided to break my chromebooks screen but I wanted to get this posted so I can post the second part to both anyway if you guys have any requests my requests are open any group you want me to write I usually do lol so just let me know anyway hope you enjoy please like comment reblog I love hearing your opinions

Jisung:

“GET OUT!” You shout, as you feel Jisungs arms wrap around your waist. You can feel his tears leaking through your shirt as he begs you to hear him out. Your tears streamed down your face. “you need to leave Jisung” You growl taking his arms from around you. His head shakes in panic “No! NO! Im sorry okay?! It was a mistake it didn’t mean anything to me” he cries. His shoulders shaking rapidly. You scoff at his words “Yeah for you it was just a fucking tuesday of course it wouldn’t mean shit to you. But the fact that you didn’t even think about me or I don’t know maybe the fact that you werent even single, proves to me that everything youre saying is bullshit. You don’t just go and fuck someone and then say Oops I made a mistake. You made a fucking choice Jisung and just cause it doesn’t mean anything to you now doesn’t mean you didn’t fucking do it and proves how much I cant trust you.” You snap, gesturing to the crying boy. Grabbing the bags you packed for him, you shove them at your ex boyfriend.

“I don’t want to go” Jisung confesses, his hand wrapping around your wrist pulling you back into him; burying your face in his chest. “Please don’t make me go, I don’t want to wake up every morning without you. I don’t want to let you go. It meant nothing then and now please believe me I don’t want anyone else it was a drunken mistake and I will never stop regretting it. I can make it up to you, I-I c-can fix things please—fuck—please don’t make me go. I love you” His sobs take over his body as you begin to pull yourself away from him. You stare at him, wanting to remember every inch of his face. You caress his cheek. Your eyes locking with one another “Im sorry, but I cant trust you anymore and I cant be with someone I cant trust. I want to break up. Im sorry but if you don’t leave. I will” You confess pulling your hand away from him. “Please....” He whines “Im sorry fuck im so sorry theres nothing I could be more sorry about I don’t know how to fix it. But I don’t want to leave please don’t make me leave, I need you okay? I need YOU! No one else I don’t know how to convince you of that” You shake your head at his words “You don’t need to convince me, you never will be able to Jisung, there’s never an excuse and I wont be able to trust you ever again. It will always feel like a lie.” His eyes widen in shock.

“i-I-” You lift your hand, not wanting to hear anymore “Just go, Jisung! Im done you hurt me way to much and I don’t want to hear your lies anymore” You growl. Nodding in defeat, he picks up his bags and makes his way to the door. You hold the door open for him as he makes his way out as he turns to face you once more you can feel your resolve breaking “I will always love you” he cries as you close the door.

Felix:

NEW MESSAGE: LIXIE💕☀️

Hey baby, just wanted to tell you good morning and I miss you when can I see you again? Its been too long😞

Your heart races as you read his message. Biting your lip you contemplate replying before deciding to lock your phone and continue avoiding him. You werent sure why he even bothered anymore, you knew he was pretending, and whilst he didn’t know you had learned the truth about him, you felt stupid every time you thought about seeing him. You were torn between the Felix you had gotten to know a bubbly sweet and kindhearted person that would give up their last for anyone in need, and the one that, apparently, likes to make bets with his friends about how long it would take for you to sleep with him. Its been a few days since you had been told the truth by Minho’s girlfriend, and ever since you had avoided Felix. You couldn’t help but feel anxious and idiotic anytime you thought about being near him, apparently he had won the bet, you did sleep with him fairly quickly considering you guys have been going out for only a few months and have been actively having sex since about your third date; and the idea that right after he went and reported his win to the boys made you feel dirty, gross, and used.

Your phone vibrating in your hand pulls you from your thoughts. Staring at the screen youre met with a photo of your smiling boyfriend. Pressing the decline button, you toss your phone on the bed lifting yourself to your feet. You stare around your room, pictures of you and Felix laugh at you as you grab the stuffed bear Felix had won for you on your second date. With a newfound resolve you toss the bear on the ground. Your body acting on its own accord as you begin throwing every symbol and memory of your relationship in a large destructive pile on the ground. Sobs rack through your chest, nausea building in your stomach. You trusted him, you allowed him to knock your walls down and he lied, pretended and faked his way through everything. With determination in your heart you stomp your way over to your bed grabbing your phone opening your messages with him.

To: LIXIE💕☀️

Please stop calling me stop texting me just leave me alone you won your stupid bet just leave me alone we’re done.

Your palms were sweating as your phone began vibrating once more. You stare at the photo of Felix, your jaw clenches as hot tears run down your face. You watch as the photo disappears a missed call notification coming in before the photo pops up once more. You sit in place as a plethora of calls continue to come in as well as messages all unseen. With a shaky breathe you turn your phone off, opting to take a shower you trudge your way to the bathroom. Your movements halt at the rapid knocks on your front door. “Babe! Please—fuck—open the door!” Felix’s deep voice pleads. Your hand smacks over your mouth, as you hear your doorknob rattling “Y/N! Open up please” he cries. “Let me explain!” The knocks continue in quick succession. “P-please! I-I c-can’t lo-lose y-yo-you, n-not like t-this please!” His voice is desperate, you could tell he was crying. “I’m sorry” the door begins to shake. You could tell he was trying to ram the door open. “I’m sorry! Please talk to me, we can’t be over we can’t Im an idiot but you mean so much to me don’t break up with me I’m sorry! I’ll explain I’ll tell you everything please” your sobs unable to be hidden anymore “Y/N?! Are you crying? Please—fuck—don’t cry please I’m sorry please open the door please! I need to see you. I need you to listen please open up!” He pleaded. You stared at the door as your heart pounded on your sternum as Felix pounded on your door. You apologized silently as you sat on the ground your arm wrapped around your waist as you held your hand over your mouth; tears steadily streaming down your face not being able to bring yourself to open the door.

Seungmin:

You stared blankly at the mahogany table, avoiding Seungmins bored stare. “Why did you ask me to meet you here if you weren’t going to say anything?” He questions confusion etched on his features You sat in shock at his words, you weren’t sure why you were so surprised at the cold stoic tone he used. It had always been the same with him anyway always leaving you to feel small under his judging gaze. You questioned the status of your relationship often due to the lack of affection on either part. You felt more like a close friend rather than his girlfriend or even someone he was dating, and whilst you two had never defined your relationship, you did assume from the fact that he had specifically told you that he had considered the time you two spent together as dates. You stared at your hands as your fingers continued to play with themselves in your lap. “I’m sorry…” you murmur, you hear him hum in response “it’s fine everyone has bad days” you shake your head in response “n-no…I’m sorry but I don’t think we should see each other anymore” your voice is almost a whisper but the widening of Seungmin’s eyes has you shocked. “C-Can I ask why? I thought things were going well…” he questions his hand reaching for yours sadness flashes across his features as you shift yourself further away from him “we’re more friends than anything don’t you think” you mumble disappointedly. “Friends?” He scoffs like the term was beneath him. “I’d like to think we are more than friends” he states calmly.

You wrap your arms around your waist “honestly can you name a single time we’ve done anything that could signify that we’re more than friends” you snap. Seungmin leans back in his seat, taking a sip of his coffee. “We go out on dates…umm I talk to you all the time…” he trails as he contemplates more answers only to come up with nothing and letting out a sigh. “It’s okay…you aren’t attracted to me Seungminie, not the way I am to you and I think you should find a girl you actually like” you state sadly as you lift yourself from your seat. “Goodbye…” you mumble as you make you’re way out of the café. Seungmin sat there in shock, a tear running down his cheek as you make your exit. He willed himself to say something, anything to get you to stay. He watched in horror as you made your way out of the door. His heart shattering in his chest as he wills you to turn around and just see him, see how he’s falling apart at your departure. He’s begged for every moment with you and in his idiocy you were wisped away, he felt lost what could he do?

Jeongin:

“You’re really wearing that?!” The disgust oozing out in his tone. You look down at your lilac skin tight dress and white thigh highs before nodding with confusion etched on your features a pout in your lips. “I-is there something wrong with what Im wearing?” You prod your eyebrow raising in offense. Jeongin scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. You stood in your place, biting your lip in frustration “I mean you look really…..interesting.” He grits. You could feel the uncomfortable stares. You knew what he meant by interesting, reflexively you tug on the hem of your dress bringing it lower on your legs. “Don’t listen to him you look great!” Nayeon smiled as she rubbed your wrist comfortingly. You nod dejected, your eyes not leaving the ground. “I-I’m going to get something to drink” you state rapidly as you rush over to the kitchen. You stare down at your dress, you felt stupid and thanked god you had brought a hoodie. Taking a deep breath you grab a red solo cup pouring a small bit of vodka and adding pineapple juice before mixing the drink. You stare into the concoction, as used to Jeongins temperament and the harshness of his tone you are, you contemplate as to why you had even entered this torturous relationship.

You couldn’t think of many times when Jeongin would speak to you without insulting you in some shape or form. From your hair being the wrong way to you just being too annoying for his taste that day there was always something you did wrong. You thought today would be different, you thought for once he’d actually acknowledge you the way he used too when you first began. Your heart completely shattered considering it was your second anniversary. Your relationship was fantastic up until just a few months ago and now it feels like Jeongin would rather drop dead before even looking at you anymore. You don’t know why you had bothered anymore it obviously wasn’t working. You’ve done everything you could to try to save your relationship tonight being your final attempt and as much as you wanted to give the rest of the night a chance; he couldn’t even acknowledge your anniversary all day and then to greet you like that at a party you didn’t even want to be at. You weren’t sure if you could continue this, you missed your loving, sweet boyfriend. You didn’t know who this Jeongin was. You sighed as you take a sip from your drink. The mixture of alcohol to juice lacking so you grab the vodka bottle once more.

“Sure get drunk so I have to take care of you tonight” you hear from behind you, you roll your eyes. “What? I’m literally just making my first drink” you scoff before turning and shoving past your boyfriend his hand wrapping around your arm “oh and thanks for embarrassing me tonight by the way” he spits. An embarrassing heat fills your cheeks “how did I embarrass you?” You growl a fire burning in your eyes. “You’re kidding right?” His lips are formed in a tight line, you press your chest against his in defiance “No! How did I fucking embarrass you Jeongin?”

“So dressing like a slut to a party where you know your boyfriend and his friends are going to be isn’t a fucking problem? It’s not embarrassing?” He snaps, the glare in his eyes challenging you. The rage filling your stomach you toss your drink in his face. “I can’t believe you! You fucking prick” you shout, Jeongins eyes grow wide at your action. He stood there shocked, covered in your drink, his hands reaching for you quickly with a call of your name. You put your arms up preventing him from touching you. “No! I’m done! I’m so fucking done with you Jeongin! For months I’ve put up with your shitty attitude all because I loved you and you obviously don’t feel the fucking same anymore! You made me miserable and I still loved you! Don’t call me don’t text me just leave me alone. Happy anniversary Jeongin, I’m giving you the best gift I could…you’re single congratulations” your resolve completely breaking as tears stream down your face. You can see the panic in Jeongins eyes, his mouth sits agape in shock. With a scoff you turn to make your exit. “W-wait! Where are you going?” He calls, his voice is shaky. “Babe?!” You can hear him following after you “wait! Y/N!” His voice is shaky as you make your way out the front door, you knew if you turned back just one look at his face would break you. You had to keep going; you picked up your pace as the cold air kissed your skin.

Your car was only down the street a bit you just had to make it there and you were home free. Your heart raced as your legs moved rapidly. You felt arms wrapped around your waist pulling you back into a strong frame. The familiar cologne fills your nostrils, you could feel his shaking figure. “Don’t go, I’m sorry” he pleads. You sigh “please let me go Jeongin” pulling his arms from around you not turning to look at him. “I’m sorry please don’t go im an idiot I didn’t mean to forget but I don’t think it’s something you should break up with me over” he scoffs slight annoyance in his tone. A scowl forms on your face as you whip around to look him in his eyes “you know what?! Yeah! You ARE indeed a fucking idiot! If you think I’m breaking up with you over this bullshit ass anniversary then you’re wrong! You treat me like shit and a burden and I’m just done you obviously don’t love me anymore and as much as I do love you I deserve better just…please leave me alone…” tears stream down your face at a rapid pace, your heart shattering at every word. Your eyes drifting to the floor as your bottom lip finds it’s way between your teeth. Your eyes never once lifting to meet his as you turn away from him and make your way to your car. You don’t see Jeongin standing there in horror as you ultimately walk away from him. You don’t hear the sound of his heart shattering in his chest as you don’t look back at him. His jaw clenched as tears stream down his cheeks willing himself to not chase after you because like you said, you did deserve better

[orikiys]

✿ ✿ 〞wish you back

✰ pairings: ex!han x fem!reader

✰ genre: romance + angst with comfort ending

✰ warning: mentions of insecurities, deep talks, indirect mentions of miscommunications and getting back together

✰ request: If you’re taking requests or would like some ideas for your future writings then could I suggest/request an angsty fight but with a comfort ending with prompts 1, 10 and 12 with skz Han or it could even be an ot8 whichever is comfortable for you :)

✰ note: hi hi love! i hope you like it >< i made it exes to lovers and it hope it suits to what you requested for! thanks to @planetkiimchi for beta reading this and helping me with it 🤍

✰ word count: 2k + words

meeting him was like listening to a song for the first time and knowing it would be your favourite. meeting him was like rewatching every movie you ever loved with your favourite flavour of popcorn. meeting him was truly beautiful.

then, suddenly, you didn’t like that song anymore. you hated those movies as well. and you didn’t even bother touching that last packet of popcorn kept in the cabinet of your kitchen. it had been a month precisely since you and jisung parted ways.

a month of half-heartedly listening to your best friend’s ‘not-getting-back-to-your-ex’ rules. you don’t even remember the last time you saw him. but all you could do was think of him. was he eating well? was his hair as long as before? or has he trimmed them? it was foolish, you knew that very well. but the way your heart belonged to him, you couldn’t help it.

your mind keeps replaying the evening of your breakup. that very evening, when the two of you would be completing two whole years as a couple. all of it—now shattered. it doesn’t matter what you do, or what he does, the deed is done. there’s no going back now. or is there?

you know you shouldn’t be doing this and instead sending someone else. despite this, you find yourself driving to his home. after his last text, which told you to go pick up your stuff. you nearly felt your heart burst out of your chest the moment you saw his name pop in your notifications, but all of it faded when you saw his text. you know it meant nothing, but you felt yourself tear apart when the thought that he's trying to erase you crosses your mind. that’s what the voices in your head said. he’s trying to remove you from his life. and you know it shouldn’t hurt that much– but it does.

you hated whenever he overworked himself. you hated the way he would always come home exhausted but would still manage to muster up a smile you knew was fake. and when the limit runs, it’s the two of you against each other– screaming at each other’s throats. the eyes that used to be filled with love and warmth, were replaced with tiredness and anger.

maybe it was just in the heat of the moment, but the words can’t be unsaid. the apartment that used to be filled with memories in each corner, just rests there in dust and dirt.

you lift your hand to knock on the door and not even a second later, the door opens wide allowing you to see the apartment once again, and jisung as well.

he looks almost the same, except for his hair that he has curled slightly. if it would’ve been a stranger, they wouldn’t have been able to pick on any difference. but knowing him for years, you know everything from the beat of his heart to the dip in his voice when he’s about to break down– you have lived it all as well.

“hi,” he manages to croak out when you enter the apartment. you let out a silent nod, but prevent yourself from getting into a long conversation with him. your friend advised you not to if you didn’t want to end up getting hurt.

“how have you been?” he asks, his voice no louder than a mutter.

“how do you expect me to be?” you chuckle dryly, rubbing salt onto his wounds without even sparing him a glance. you look around, eyes stopping on the fridge that has various fridge magnets which you stuck on. maybe it was just a you thing, but it marked as the evidence of your happy relationship. there’s a small magnet with a polaroid of you two sitting on a couch with a cake in your hand.

it almost makes you laugh, how quickly the memory rushes into your head. it was your birthday and jisung surprised you with homemade meals and handmade gifts. it was a simple meal with just the two of you, yet his sincerity never failed to amaze you.

“i’m trying to talk to you nicely,” he hisses back, frustration creeping its way into his tone. it makes you gulp. you pause to stare at him, for the second time of the day before sighing.

“where’s my stuff?” you whisper, not breaking eye contact, which makes him stare back at you just as fiercely.

there’s something in his expression that makes you want to run straight into his arms and embrace him, kiss him and tell him you love him. but you can’t. he was the main character in the movie called “you”, but now he seemed to play more of a side role. it seems discarded yet you will remember it forever.

he takes a long minute to reply and points to the bedroom, “it’s under the bed, in a box.”

you nod and make your way in the bedroom. the sight of the room itself makes your heart heavy. you look around, and where there used to be a brown heart couch, it’s now empty. the room takes you back to the days when the two of you first moved in. the two of you were so excited to bring in the new furniture and rearrange it according to your preference. it almost felt surreal at first. you still remember spending three weeks just to arrange the furniture. it was tiring, but you didn’t know that it was even more tiring to look at this now-almost-empty bedroom.

you crouch down and pull out a wooden box. it’s a bit dusty, so you carry it and keep it on the mattress. you blow away the dust as much as possible and open the box. it’s filled with photos, letters, gifts varying from sizes to colours and occasions. it’s a wonder how he kept all your stuff neatly arranged. even if there’s a few things missing, you don’t mention it when you return back to the living room.

he shoots up from his seat upon seeing you, and there’s a determined look on his face which you don’t quite like.

“can i know one thing before you go?” there’s fresh pain in his eyes which he no longer attempts to hide from you. when you take a look at him, you see the eyebags, the tiredness seeps through his eyes and it’s painful to see him that way.

when you don’t reply, he takes that as his cue to step towards you and hold both of your hands in his, the familiar warmth immediately soothing you and making you breathe in relief.

“do you still love me?” it’s just a question, you tell yourself. it’s just a normal question, just say no and you’ll be fine. instead, you stare down at your intertwined hands and slowly rub your thumb against his.

“what if i say yes? how would it change anything? remember, you left me first,” you look back at him with tears brimming your eyes. there’s a softness in his expression that almost makes you cry but you manage to hold it in.

“because you told me to! you told me how annoying i was and how i wasn’t giving you time. and i thought about it, i really did and i realised it was better for us this way.”

“you’ll decide that on your own? you could’ve talked to me once ji! i would have stopped you and told you just how much you mean to me!” you say while jabbing a finger at his chest in fury.

“how does that change it? you had that thought across your head. how could you even think of us separating? we were happy, weren’t we? and then suddenly you weren’t there when i returned. i didn’t call you because i thought… i thought that maybe you didn’t want me anymore,” he chuckles bitterly and runs a hand through his unruly hair, impatiently waiting for a response.

“i… you’re the only one i want, ji. there’s not been a single day where i didn’t think of you. if you would’ve called me even in the middle of the night, i’d run back to you without hesitation,” there’s raw pain reflecting in his eyes that flick to your continuously.

“then… why?” you squeeze your eyes shut at his question. was it the way he was too blunt with it? or was it the way you knew that the truth would hurt?

“it’s easy for you to ask that because you’re not the one constantly thinking about whether you’re being controlling or not. you’re not the one who has to constantly keep yourself in check, wondering whether or not you’re overthinking! do you know how hard it was for me to not ask you anything every hour just because it will make you look pushy? i didn’t want to be that kind of girlfriend that bugs you, or the one that has to call you a hundred times a day to remind you that i’ll be waiting! it’s a mess, jisung. i-i’m a mess.”

“do you trust me?” he asks, his eyes shining with determination with this new shift in him.

“no– don’t do this to me,” you shake your head and try to slip your hand out of his grasp, but he stays still.

“please don’t try to ignore me, my love. please don’t go… why do you keep shaking my whole world and then leaving like nothing ever happened? why? why are you so desperately trying to run away from me? did you forget that we promised to help each other with our problems? or do those promises mean nothing?”

“we broke up, jisung! we are not together anymore. there’s no us, it’s just you and i,” you look away to avoid his burning gaze.

“look at me, babe,” he whispers, his words are careful to not try and trigger you any more.

and when you do, he looks down at you with a soft gaze, “i want you to know one thing. there’s nothing in this world that will make me love you less. it’s okay to worry. you worry for the one you love and it’s normal. there is no such thing as worrying too much, okay? don’t you ever think that you are less or that you are more. you are just the perfect amount, like the sugar i need in my coffee,” he jokes a bit and it does indeed manage to make you chuckle through tears.

“there was a day where i almost knocked at your front door, but then i saw how happy you looked. and i feel like i was trying to snatch away your happiness, but then you told me how you felt and honestly, it just feels like we’re two dumb people who are scared to communicate. a talk was all we needed.”

“i’m sorry for hurting you that night, and for not even bothering to tell you that i’m was leaving.” after every word, he smiles wider, and it’s as if you’re seconds away from mending his broken heart along with yours. “is it too late to stop the shifting of the furniture?” he laughs, before shaking his head, and pulling you to his chest. his arms wrap around you and he embraces you tightly, cherishing every bit of you for as long as he can.

“don’t ever scare me like that again,” he mumbles and presses a kiss to the side of your head.

“i suppose i should call the guy before it gets too late,” he huffs in annoyance and you smile at his words.

“you should! it’s your fault you’re trying to give away our stuff,” you mock, with a playful smile dancing on your lips.

“putting the blame on me now?” he pouts before stealing a kiss from you and his fingers are already vigorously typing digits on his phone.

there’s something about this house that will never change; you and him. perhaps those magnets too.

PERM TAGLIST: @taeriffic 🥽 @hello-2-u-from-me 🥽 @ilychee08 🥽 @sleepyleeji 🥽 @spacegirlstuff

[chrizzztopherbang]

JISUNG RECS

smut fluff angst

reader

"anime afternoon" by @moonlightndaydreams

topping jisung by @blurboki

sloppy makeout session by @moonjxsung

coercion roleplay by @planet-dusk

sweet thing by @ilwonuu

say please by @gimmeurtmi

strawberry cake

sex toys with jilix ft felix

^ @tasteracha

200424

aftercare

hard thoughts #2

^@quokkawritesarchive

reckless convictions by @moonjxsung

college bf han by @hyunsvngs

jisung imagine by @chvnmax

220424

facetime

among strangers pt2 ft chan

^@3rachasdomesticbanana

she's crazy but she's mine

oral

^@hanjsquokka

member x member

truth or dare ft minho by @skzms (mentions of ot8 x reader)

04.13 ft chan by @straykxnks

jilix drabble ft felix by @writingforstraykids

member x member x reader

slutracha ft minho + felix by @mintychanhwafics

stoner ft chan + felix by @bandgie

truly ft seungmin by @amnignsity

miss you ft minho

five's company ft minho/felix/hyunjin

sharing is caring pt4.5 & pt5.5 ft minho

^ @skzms

bold ft minho by @hyunsvngs

play bite ft hyunjin by @roseykat

male/gn reader

220424

"princess" by @kevcanwait

close enough by @seungrem

princess by @luvkyu

8:22 by @peachybun-bun

FULL STRAY KIDS REC LISTS

[torialefay]

jealous sex with hannnnnnn 🫶🏽 please?

• jisung had been side-eyeing you most of the night. he kept his jaw clenched and would barely make eye contact with you. every time you tried to go up and talk to him- nothing, he would just shoo you away.

• you couldn't wait for the concert to be over. surely he'd be in a better mood after getting all that dopamine release.

• but you were wrong.

• you had expected him to come back to the artist lounge with a smile, as hyper as he normally was. but he was anything BUT that.

• you tried to get his attention as he walked past, ignoring you completely.

• "jisung! what is the matter with you?!" you snapped.

• he stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face you. his eyes grew big as he stared into your own, challenging you. "we're talking about it when we get to the hotel." you'd never seen him so serious or have so much conviction about something.

• all you could do was back away and try to avoid him as best you could.

-------

• once you'd arrived to the hotel, you could do nothing but try to get through the awkward silence.

• you were both unpacking your bags slowly, trying to ignore the tension in the room. after getting it most of the way done, you were fed up and couldn't take anymore.

• "jisung. seriously. what's the matter?" you asked, walking up behind him just next to the bed.

• he turned, sucking his cheeks in. obviously still frustrated.

• "did i say i was ready to talk about it?" he threw at you.

• "well... no..." you looked away.

• "then don't try to fucking push me right now, y/n! i'm trying so hard to..." he broke out into a frustrated smile as he ran his hands through his hair. "i'm trying so hard to be good right now, but fuck you're making it hard."

• "then let's talk about it," you said in a small voice.

• "let's talk about it? alright fine, let's fucking talk about it. what is the matter with you? you think i didn't see you with changbin? fucking letting him piggy back you around like he's some big tough guy? like your boyfriend couldn't do that for you? like be so fucking real right now, just because he's bigger than me, you think he's tougher than me huh?" he started moving his body towards you. you could see the aggression overtaking him.

• "you think he's tougher than me? you think he's more man than me HUH?" he was now borderline screaming in your face. it made you feel so small.

• "well i've got news for you sweetheart, he could never do to you what i can. he could never fuck you harder or make you scream louder than i can."

• you felt your breath hitch in your throat, starting to get nervous.

• "pull your pants down and bend over the bed. now." he said, already pulling his sweats and underwear down to reveal his cock. you almost choked seeing how hard it was already.

• you knew now wasn't the time to fight back. you'd never seen him in this state and you didn't want to find out what would happen if you didn't listen. you pulled both your underwear and jeans down all in one go and laid yourself on the bed so that you were bent over.

• "all that fucking ass is mine, you hear me?!" he yelled, landing a smack to one cheek. you let out a small whimper, but nothing more.

• "I SAID DO YOU HEAR ME?" another smack came down, turning you instantly bright red. it stung and you weren't used to it, but you tried your best to appease him.

• "yes," you mustered.

• "good," another smack. "now what you're gonna do," he said, lining himself up at your entrance. "is lay there and be a good little whore for me."

• all of a sudden, he thrusted inside of you. no warning, no warm up. nothing.

• you couldn't help but let out a small scream. with no time to adjust, he felt so big so quickly. it didn't feel bad, but it was an all new sensation.

• he gripped onto your hips harshly, digging in so you'd eventually get bruises by the end of it.

• "how do you like that, whore?" he yelled, starting to pound relentlessly into you. "is this what you wanted? to get some fucking dick?"

• he had picked up the pace to the point that you couldn't catch your breath. every time you tried to take a breath in, he pulled your hips down toward him, pounding into you and making you lose your breath.

• you couldn't reply. there was no way you could get anything out.

• "aw, look at that. can't even take it. i thought you were a whore baby? you can't even take this?" he kept pounding and pounding. you almost couldn't resist the pleasure and pain you felt, trying to melt into him but still having to clench from his harshness.

• all of a sudden, he brought his thrusts to a slow and leaned his body down on top of yours. for a second you thought he may calm down and hug you from behind.

• but god, were you wrong.

• he crouched over to pull his chest into your back, close enough so he could whisper in your ear. "nobody can fuck you like i can. you'd do good to remember that."

• with that, he grabbed your hair in both hands and lifted up, pulling your head and chest with him. he started to thrust into you harder than he ever had. he was animalistic, throwing out groans as he went. he couldn't stop.

• he repositioned himself to hold your hair in one hand now so the other could make its way down to slap your ass.

• he loved the way you looked for him. back arched with your hair in his hand, choking your neck back. your ass bright red and hot for him. his little slut.

• it just made him want to go harder.

• "that's a good whore," he smiled and laughed maniacally.

• you couldn't help but let a few tears stream down from the lack of air and the overstimulation you were experiencing. jisung was relentless in his spanks and his thrusts. you didn't think you'd be able to handle it much longer.

• just as suddenly, he started to moan louder. he let out a loud growl as he hit your ass again, watching it bounce for him.

• this was the hardest he'd ever felt. he gripped your hair even tighter and arched you back further, almost bending you in half.

• "who do you belong to slut? i want you to fucking say it"

• you couldn't get anything out. your whole face was red and you couldn't get a breath out, let alone a word.

• "WHOSE GODDAMN SLUT ARE YOU?! YOU BETTER FUCKING GET IT OUT."

• you tried to scream it, but only air got past your vocal cords. you tried again, and finally the remnants of "yours" could be made out.

• "that's fucking right," he yelled, releasing your hair and sending you back onto the bed. you gasped for air, trying to escape the fuzziness in your head.

• he grabbed back onto your hips to give deep, hard thrusts. his breathing started getting shaky, so you knew he was close.

• "ah fuckkkk-" he whined. he dug his hands into you, not letting up.

• you started to feel numb everywhere. he had officially fucked you too hard. you could feel him hitting your cervix over and over again. but there was nothing you could do.

• "fuck! feels so fucking good." his thrusts got quick, quick enough that you knew he was going to cum any second.

• "goddamn it my own fucking whore. too fucking good for me. you're never going to leave my sight again, you understand? FUCK. my fucking slut." he growled, sending one final hard thrust into you before he felt a release. you could feel him start to twitch inside of you.

• "aughhhhhhh," he moaned as he rode out his high, continuing inside of you until he couldn't anymore.

• once he was finally done, he leaned his head back to admire his handywork. how red you were.

• he gently rubbed your ass cheeks, massaging around the redness, before pulling on your hand to bring you back up.

• he didn't say anything, just planted a kiss to your forehead.

• he had a much softer tone now, definitely softer than 2 minutes ago.

• "i'm serious, don't go doing that with changbin anymore, okay? you're mine. they all need to respect that."

[hyunjinsbelovedamericano]

Jisung taking care of his ex, y/n, who has amnesia and calls him daily, thinking that they are still together. Angst with comfort at the end

I still love you

------------------------------୨୧

Another great request I luv u sm

Lovestruck hanji, mention of a car accident

Fluffy angst,not proof read once again

------------------------------୨୧

You rolled over onto your side, you've been laying in bed all day.Well this is what your doctor told you to do in order to heal, but it's so painfully boring

You look out the window and see other people walking with their partners, friends, pets they don't even know how lucky they are to be able to leave the house so easily

Laying in bed all day may sound like a dream to anyone and it did to you before you actually had to do it, you feel so useless, you can't do anything on your own.Good thing you have your amazing boyfriend Jisung!He was there from the moment you woke up from your coma

A few months ago you got into a horrific car accident and that sent you into a coma, you were out for a while but you eventually woke up and saw han anxiously bouncing his leg and playing with his fingers. You were immediately put as ease once you saw him, it's like he can cure everything. Ever since then he's been taking care of you, helping you get better day by day.

You smiled to yourself after recalling the memories and picked up your phone to call him

"Hi hannie!" You exclaimed, han could tell you have a big smile painted on your face

"Oh, hi jagi, is everything okay?"

"Yeah but.. No. I miss you!Can you come over pleasee"

Han could never resist you, so he agreed and was on his way to your house

Han was so deeply in love with you, and if it wasn't for that car crash he wouldn't even be on his way to your house right now, han sometimes catches himself being grateful for it but thats fucked up. You broke up with him for a reason, you just don't know that.

But he also feels incredibly guilty, like this was all his fault,You and han got into a messy fight which was the cause of your break up, you left the house crying and ran to your car.A few hours later han got a call from the hospital to let him know that you, his ex, got into a car crash and now is in a coma.If only he ran after you, if only he was a better boyfriend,maybe this would have never happened

Once in your house he barely got time to breathe as you hugged him as soon as he got in the house

"Han! I missed you much!"

You said happily as you nuzzled your head into his neck

"Woah, slow down angel I don't want you to hurt your leg“

"I'll be fine my legs practically healed anyway"

You affirmed,grabbing onto his hand and limping to the living room,You guys chatted and hung out until the sunset, it's like when you talked to him he lost track of time

"Why are you frowning like that?"

You said with a slight giggle and smile to your face

"It's nothing" Han said blankly

"I know it's not just nothing, I've been with you for years now"

That's the thing, we aren't together anymore

Han wanted to tell you this so bad, but he couldn't bring himself to do it

They way you looked at him... You looked at him with such admiration, you had a special sparkle in your eyes that only appeared when you're with him

He can't just say you've been broken up this whole time that would be so mean of him...But he also can't keep pretending.He can't just keep acting like this doesn't keep him up every night, he has to let you know, at least one day

------------------------------୨୧

I'M SO SORRY THIS FIC IS SO LATE OMG, I SWR NEXT TIME I'LL TRY TO GET IT OUT QUICKLY

------------------------------୨୧

[jinnie-ret]

black friday

han jisung x plus size!reader

genre: angst, fluff at the end

content warnings: body size insecurities, reader talking negatively about themselves

word count: 1.8k

summary: it should have been a nice, fun evening out, but your insecurities win and jisung is just as upset as you are when he finds out why

Here it is, the first imagine of my 1K followers event, thank you so much everyone! Just to preface that everyone is beautiful. You are all worthy and the way your body looks does not define you. Be confident in who you are because there is a part of you that every single person out there will appreciate. I myself have gone through body image issues and I still do, so some of this is coming through my own experiences. Just because reader is plus size and feeling down does not mean this reflects how everyone plus size feels, again, this is just my own personal experiences mixed in. If you ever wanna talk then just pm me and love to you all <3

1K FOLLOWERS PLAYLIST 💚🖤

MAIN MASTERLIST

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It was just a dinner.

Just a fancy evening dinner party for JYP, and you were Jisung's plus one of course, being his girlfriend it only made sense.

The invitations clearly stated that it was a black tie event, meaning that you were to arrive formally dressed and that you'd probably expect a glass of prosecco to be handed to you upon entry.

Now that, didn't sound too bad.

What did, was the pressure of finding something new to wear, that you felt suited your shape. It was a difficult feat, you felt like. You'd only order from places guaranteed with a return policy, because you knew for sure that what would seem like a small thing to someone else, would make you wish that you never bought the item in the first place.

You had many memories of going clothes shopping as a child, and breaking down into tears in the dressing rooms because the top was too clingy or the trousers didn't fit right or the dress didn't look right on you.

No one should have to feel like that as a 7 year old kid. No one should have to feel like that, ever.

And when it wasn't just the clothes not fitting right, it was how they suddenly became itchy after, and you wanted nothing more than to get it off of your body, feeling hot with anxiety. But then there was the music blasting in the shop, and your mum asking you to show her your outfit even though your vision was so clouded with tears and you felt like you could barely breathe.

To put it simply, it was overwhelming. It was even triggering, sometimes, going shopping for something to decorate your body when it was the thing you hated the most about yourself.

Why should you like it?

Because of Jisung.

He never failed to bring you up after you hit your lows. Feeling isolated and barren in your thoughts, like you were curled up into a dark corner, locked away for no one to save you, and yet his hand would reach forwards and pull you out, being your lifeline. You needed your lifeline right now.

Doing your makeup helped for sure. It was a great way to make you feel confident yet you didn't feel like you needed to rely on it to feel pretty. You loved how your highlighter showed off your cheekbones and how your eye makeup made the colour pop out. Painfully, Jisung would always wonder why the same thing wouldn't apply with clothing. Of course, you had your casual style that you had gotten used to, but when it came to things outside of your comfort zone, you were nervous - like anyone else would be.

The dress looked stunning in the picture. On the model, not you, you thought. Why did it cling to you like that? Why did it show off your love handles? Why couldn't it have flown outwards instead of making you feel like you look like a rectangle?

In reality, none of those things mattered. It was your personality shining through that really mattered, because others would notice your melodic laugh and your kinds words much quicker than forming an opinion on your body. Again, these were all of the things Jisung would say to you but they never registered in your mind.

Smoothing down the fabric of the black dress, you bit your lip as you stared at yourself in the mirror.

"Ji! I so should have worn a suit, babe!" you call out twisting awkwardly on your heels just to check over every inch of your body in the mirror.

You heard him chuckle as he entered the bedroom, eyes widening as he looked at you.

"Babe, you look amazing no matter what, don't worry, yeah?" Jisung walked behind you, kissing you on the cheek as he scanned his bedside table for his cologne.

"I-i think this part doesn't look right though..." you frowned, pinching desperately at the smooth fabric between your thumb and finger, trying to stretch it out so it doesn't cling to you. You didn't even realise how hard you were biting on your own lip, breaking the skin as red pooled yet blended in with your red lipstick.

"Babe, you look sexy as hell right now, I'm serious," Jisung murmured into your neck as he wrapped his arms around your waist, trying to ease your worries. "The dress looks amazing on you, plus, your curves look great in the dress. There's nothing to worry about," he added on, knowing that you would end up comparing yourself to anyone else because you always felt like you were bigger than everyone, and that that was a problem.

Jisung waited for your response as he placed small gentle kisses on your neck, but you were clearly so anxious that you began to zone out.

"Babe, hey look at me. Look into my eyes," Jisung's arms tightened slightly, successfully gaining your attention as you blinked and looked at him in the mirror.

"Hmm, yeah?" you frowned, sighing and desperately trying to hold back your tears.

"There you are baby, listen, I love your body, I love your curves. And no one can tell me or more importantly you, otherwise. You look incredible in that dress," Jisung moved in front of you so you wouldn't look at your reflection anymore and instead focus on him and his words.

"I just want a perfect body, Ji, it's not fair," your eyes watered as you let out a sob, voice cracking.

"No, no, no, oh baby, it's alright, I've got you," Jisung cuddled you tightly against him, heart breaking at your cries. If only you could see what he sees and what everyone else did too. He smoothed down your hair, fingers twisting in your curls as he did so.

"I hate it, I hate it, Ji, I hate my body, I hate my skin-" you whimper into him, floodgates opened and no filter on the words that came tumbling out of your mouth now that you were in the comfort of the guy you loved the most.

"Darling, look at me, just breathe for a second, yeah?" Jisung reluctantly pulled away from you, wishing he could hold you in his arms forever and protect you from any harm the world would try throwing at you.

"O-ok," you sniffled and nodded, looking upwards as you blinked your tears away in effort of not messing up your makeup, like that would have made a difference.

"I'm sorry this dinner party has stressed you out so much, if you want we just have a nice relaxing night and-" Jisung offered another option, seeing right in front of him the mental toll that the idea of going to this event had taken on you. To him, you had seemed fine all week, so it must have been building up for a while.

"No, please don't. I... I want to go for you, I really do, it's just hard. I wanna be perfect like all your other friends," your shaky voice stopped him from carrying on as you placed a hand on his chest and adjusted the tie he was wearing, effectively distracting your own mind.

"Don't worry about my friends. Your body is none of their business. I'm sure they'd think you look amazing too. I know I could never keep my eyes away from you, I just wanna hug you and grab your love handles and kiss your cheeks and squeeze your-" Jisung rambled pressing little kisses all over your face to get you to laugh, and when he was successful, he let out a chuckle of his own.

"O-ok, o-ok," you pecked him on the lips before taking a few deep breaths and sat back in front of your vanity, quickly making a start on retouching your makeup.

"I wish you didn't worry so much, baby. I know I can't force you to see things how I do but if I could stop you from having all these thoughts in your head I would, you know that right?" Jisung stood behind you, mesmerised as you got yourself ready again, and he couldn't help but play with your hair.

"I know babe, I know- ow!" you winced, batting his hands away from your hair, "you tugged too hard," you wrinkled your nose at him.

"I'm bored, hurry up, I wanna take pictures of us for my Instagram story," he whined, shaking you gently by the shoulders. He was glad he had calmed you down and brought out your playful mood again, and for a moment he was worried about suggesting the idea of pictures when that's partly what you were stressed out about. He was relieved when that didn't throw you off.

"You always wanna take pictures of me," you shake your head fondly at him, putting your lipstick down and standing to grab your handbag.

"Of course I do! You're my girlfriend! Look at this picture," Jisung brought out his phone and quickly found a picture in his gallery, "I love this one here, because you look pretty like the sun. But then in this one here, you're pretty like the wind," he even zoomed in on your face, admiring you.

"Ji, babe, my hair has gone everywhere in that photo haha," you laughed when he zoomed in, seeing your face screwed up in the photo with your hair flying back behind you, some of it sticking in the air.

"Mmm, don't care, you're pretty to me no matter what. Now, come on, let's go," Jisung shoved his phone in his pocket and kisses you for a second, always having to do so after you freshly put lipstick on, a habit of his, you could say.

"Ji, you look so handsome tonight by the way," you scanned him up and down, a black suit and his fluffy permed hair with curls that still lasted from a performance the other day.

"Hey! We gotta go! Don't flip this round on me, you!" Jisung grabbed your hand and tugged you towards him, laughing at your blank stare at him. "We'll miss the whole event at this rate... don't look at me like that," Jisung stopped still.

"Like what?" you tilted your head to the side, eyes shining and staring right back up into his.

"Like..." he blushed, "come on, if we stay any longer I'm not gonna be able to keep my hands off of you," he turned around, intertwining his hand with yours and leading you out of the bedroom, turning the light switch off on the way.

"Wouldn't be so bad," you giggled, before he whined once more.

"Babe!"

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top listeners: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @kai-lee08 @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami @yangbbokari

[candlewaxandp0lar0ids]

this is halloween || han x reader

Summary: You weren't happy about getting detention, but getting to be around Jisung almost feels like it could make it worth it at first. At least, until you realize that there's a killer on the loose in the school, and that he plans on getting rid of all of you.

Word count: 6.3k

Genres: high school au, slasher au, thriller/mild horror

Warnings & Tags: angst, class clown!han jisung, final girl!reader (gender isn't specified but that's the vibe), graphic descriptions of violence happening inside of a high school

A/N: Last (late) installment in that Halloween mini-series. To reiterate, this contains description of violence and murders occurring within a high school, which can be triggering to some, so do exercise caution.

I.N. · Seungmin · Felix

It was never supposed to go that way.

For starters, you should never have gotten detention and, mind you, you'd still insist that it was totally unfair that you'd gotten it in the first place. Any reasonable teacher would have looked at the facts, which were your test results, as stellar as ever, and Nari’s test results, stellar as they never were, and assumed that she’d cheated and used you to do so.

Your physics teacher could not be described as ‘reasonable’. He’d called the two of you to his desk, using the one mistake you’d made that she had, of course, written word for word on her test as proof, and he’d given you both detention. You would have tried to defend yourself, had your eyes not immediately filled with tears. When Nari had started rising her voice, accusing you in the same breath, you’d known your efforts would be wasted anyway. You’d hung your heard low, and you’d gone back to your seat.

The first detention you’d ever gotten in your life, and it had to happen on the very last year of your time in this dreadful place. God, you couldn’t wait to get out. Yes, college entrance exams were looming terrifyingly above your head, but there was still freedom at the end of the line, freedom at least from your peers. You’d take that as a win.

At the end of the day, having only gotten a fifteen minutes break to spew your venom at your understanding best friend, you dragged your feet to detention. A confused Ms. Kim had greeted when you’d gotten there, all the more so because you were a few minutes early. As you’d handed her the detention slip, however, she’d had no choice but to let you in, though she had patted your shoulder as she did.

You were not the type of student to get detention. You were the one who got straight As, who never raised their voice, who had painstakingly managed to make one friend who you had clung to since your first year here. If you could avoid drawing attention to yourself, you’d take it. You only raised your hand in class if the teacher had been waiting for someone to speak for the appropriate amount of time, tried to make yourself be forgotten the rest of the time. It did not work quite as well as you would like, but you had stayed out of trouble so far.

The same cannot be said of the students who enter the room after you. Nari runs in right as the bell rings, looking sheepish. She mouths a ‘sorry’ in your direction, like she didn’t try to throw you under the bus after the teacher caught her. She’s quickly followed by Hanseok, the school star athlete, who looks like he’s trying to shrink himself, which is no small feat considering how wide his shoulders are. He keeps his eyes on the floor, and you wonder what could have landed him here. He’s not known for getting into trouble.

Next is Taewoon who walks in nonchalantly, like he does that every day, which, to be fair, he probably does. Known troublemaker, you have no idea why he’s here tonight, but he’s regularly caught doing wild, stupid shit nearby. Ms. Kim shakes her head at him and he just shrugs. Last but not least comes Han Jisung, fashionably late, class clown and another regular. As he walks in, he leans on the desk, grinning at Ms Kim.

“Is that a new hair cut? It looks great!”

She rolls her eyes, but she can’t hide a smile in return.

“See, you’re here so often you notice that kind of things.”

“Of course I’d notice!” he protests, sounding offended as he’s weirdly good at doing — to be fair, it does still get him out of trouble most of the time.

She gestures for him to go to his place, but she doesn’t seem too mad, and he has a satisfied smirk on his face as he does. It’s as he’s doing so that he spots you, and his eyes go wide. He looks around like he thinks he’s gotten the wrong room, before altering his course to let himself fall down on the table next to yours

Your heart is beating like crazy in your chest and you do your best to smile at him the right way — you know, not too briefly so he doesn’t think you’re rude, and not too long so he doesn’t think you’re interested because, ahah, that’d be ridiculous, that’d be soooo embarrassing, there’s no way that would happen.

You may or may not have a raging crush on him.

Look, he’s funny. He’s cute. He looks at you when he makes a clever joke to see if you’re laughing. You don’t hang in the same circles, and you know it’s stupid to entertain your thoughts about him, but you just can’t help them. You wish you could quash your feelings before they hurt you. Because they will. Undoubtedly. Been there, done that. Love hasn’t worked for you, and you’d rather not delude yourself into hoping it could this time.

All these good resolutions vanish when Han leans towards you.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, sounding so confused. “Did you get lost?”

You sigh.

“I was accused of cheating on a test,” you mumble, trying to sound casual about it and not like it makes you want to cry.

“What?” His eyes look like they’re trying to pop out of his head. “That’s ridiculous.” Then he leans closer, conspiratorially. “Want me to try to get you out of here?”

Your heart is beating so fast.

“No,” you squeak despite trying not to. “It’s fine. I guess that’s— part of the high school experience, right? I should live through that at least once.”

He looks deeply confused for a second, then chuckles as he settles back in his chair.

“You’re the only person who’d think that way,” he says, and you think he sounds fond as he says it, but you know that your brain is prone to wishful-thinking. Then, with a regain of interest “Tell me if you change your mind, it’s not too late.”

He settles comfortably on his desk, resting his head on his backpack. It’s already dark outside, as it usually is at this time of the year. Cold, white streetlights have turned on over the football field, and the cloudy, starless sky gives the school a gloomy vibe. It doesn’t help that it’s eerily quiet, the kind of quiet that you’ve only heard when you’d lingered too long in the library. Lively halls are empty now, as are the classrooms. On this last night before winter break, no one has stuck around. Even clubs have taken pity on their members and let them escape tonight. It’s only the six of you left in the building, and maybe a few lingering staff members and guardians.

You glance around at what others are doing, trying to figure out what you’re even meant to do in here. Jisung has closed his eyes and is clearly intent on taking a nap. Nari has pulled out a notebook and is writing in it dutifully. Hanseok is looking out the window with a blank look on his face. Taewoon seems to be sleeping as well. Finally, Ms Kim is reading a book — romance, by the looks of it —  and seems to have no plan of acknowledging your existence until the bell rings and frees her of your presence.

With a sigh, you start pulling out your books. Jisung opens an eye. With his face smooshed against his backpack, his cheeks look even rounder.

“I can still get you out,” he whispers.

You smile, but shake your head.

“It’s fine. It will all be over in an hour anyway.”

Ms Kim clears her throat to remind you to stay quiet. You jump at it, and she gives you an apologetic look, but you’re already back to burying your head in your books, trying to be small and inconspicuous and most importantly, not to anger anyone. That’s what you do after that, even once the room gets quiet again, and that’s where you still are, half an hour later, when the lights suddenly go off.

You look up, startled, and for a second you can’t see a thing, until your eyes get accustomed to the unexpected darkness. In the meantime, someone stands up, not far from you, and surprised shouts rise in the room.

“Everyone stay where you are!” Ms Kim shouts. Phones are starting to come out, lighting up the room, and soon you see that Jisung’s standing next to you, with one hand on the back of seat. He’s so close he’d brush against you if he moved just a little to the left. “It’s either the electricity or someone forgot we were still here. I’ll go see what’s happening and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Can’t we just go home?” Nari whines. “C’mon, there’s, like fifteen minutes left.”

“Make it thirty,” Ms Kim corrects sternly. “Everyone better stay here. Anyone who leaves will get detention for the first week when we’re back in class.” When protests erupt, she raises her voice. “I’ll let you off the hook if there’s an issue with the electricity, but for now, you guys need to stay there.”

She leaves the room as more people are protesting, not paying one ounce of attention to it. It looks like it’s not the first time something like that has happened to her.

Her footsteps in the hallway have barely faded that Taewoon is already getting up.

“Fuck it,” he says, making a whole show out of it. “I’m not sticking around.”

“You’re going?” Jisung asks. Clearly, he’s thinking of doing it as well. He glances around at the rest of the group. None of you have moved from your seat. “What about you guys?”

“I can’t miss practice,” Hanseok says.

“I’ve got a part time job, I can’t lose it,” is Nari’s answer.

That leaves you, and it takes you a second to realize that Jisung is looking at you and waiting for an answer.

“I— I don’t want to get detention again,” is all you can manage to mumble. It sounds pathetic to your ears, but he nods all the same.

“What are you doing?” Taewoon asks him again.

“I’ll stay behind this time,” Jisung sighs dramatically. “Live your life to the fullest for the rest of us, okay?”

Taewoon snorts.

“Sure. Enjoy yourselves here. I’ll see you after the break.”

You feel envy as he escapes the room. You wish you could care this little about all the trouble you’d get into. At the same time, being in your shoes brings advantages that you quite enjoy. Just not particularly tonight.

Then, Jisung pulls his chair to come sit next to you, setting his phone on your table so you can both see each other’s face, and you change your mind.

“You should have taken my offer,” he smiles at first, before his expression shifts to a more serious one. “You okay? It’s happened before, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m fine,” you answer, maybe too quickly. Mostly, you’re wondering why he feels the need to tell you that and if you look so fragile to him that he thinks this would send you into a breakdown. “Does it usually come back on?”

He shrugs.

“Yeah, most of the time. Sometimes there’s a tree that’s fallen somewhere it shouldn’t and she lets us go.” He glances out the window. “It’s pretty windy tonight. Maybe it’s the case.”

As you look out, you see Taewoon crossing the football field, before disappearing under the bleachers, from where he can reach the parking lot. At least one of you has gone free, you think, feeling bitter about all the things that have kept you in this spot.

“Hey, you’re getting the full, five-star high school experience,” Jisung’s voice brings you back to the present. “I can get you in trouble more after that, if you’d like.”

A small laugh escapes your lips.

“I think I’m good.”

“You could see the boys’ locker room from the inside,” he insists, and you laugh again.

“That does not sound like a good experience!”

“The inside of the teachers’ lounge,” he offers as you roll your eyes. “Steal exam questions. Change your grades. Give lower notes to your rivals.”

“What rivals,” you protest, though you’re grinning from ear to ear at this point.

“Are you saying that no one’s good enough to compete with you? And here I thought you valued my intelligence, wah, you think you know someone—”

His chatter takes your mind off your situation. There’s something about having Jisung’s undivided attention, about him clearly having noticed how down you were feeling and trying to cheer you up, that makes you feel all fuzzy inside. You’re not used to someone’s eyes staying on you for that long, certainly not his eyes. And yet he’s choosing to use time that could so easily be spent doing something else with you. Your heart beats so fast you think it’s going to fall right out of your chest.

Ten minutes go by before Nari’s voice interrupts your talking.

“Shouldn’t Ms Kim be back by now?”

Her expression is composed, she’s leaning back in her chair to look at you, but her voice is at a higher-pitch than usual. A glance at your watch tells you that she’s probably right and a cold hand comes wrap around your heart to squeeze it, before you shake it off. No need to feel that way. There’s likely a completely fine explanation.

“Maybe she’s run into Mr Park,” Jisung offers, smoothly. Then, with a gasp, “Maybe they’re having a quickie in the principal’s office.”

You chuckle quietly, but Nari’s not amused.

“Shouldn’t someone go look for her?” she asks. When no one volunteers, she continues, “She’ll never believe me if I go and I really can’t lose my part time job, but, you know, maybe if it was someone else…”

You know where this is going, and she’s not exactly wrong, yet you worry about getting in trouble all the same. Stupidly, you’re afraid you’re going to get yelled at. You hate getting yelled at. You’d probably cry if that happened.

“I’ll go if you go,” Jisung says, eyeing you, saving the day once more — saving your day at least.

“Okay,” you reply, and you surprise yourself at how quick and easy that was. You blame it on the relief you feel for not having to go out there alone. “I’ll come.”

He smiles at you when you say that. It’s kind of embarrassing how it makes butterflies take off in your stomach.

“Everyone be good,” he chastises the other two as you open the door. “Nari, you’re in charge while we’re gone, okay?”

She sticks her tongue out at him while Hanseok scoffs. Still, they’re both grinning as the two of you venture out into the quiet, dark high school.

You’re not one to believe in supernatural creatures. You like logical, provable, tangible things. Still, out there, irrational fear seizes you, wrapping its tentacles around you. Your footsteps echo loudly in the hallways, and the measly flashlight from your cellphones are nowhere near enough to light up the entire place. No matter how your orient them, there remain dark patches all over.

“It’s kind of cool,” Jisung comments as you’re starting to bury yourself in your thoughts again. This time, you don’t know if he’s doing it for your benefit or if he doesn’t like it when things stay quiet for too long. “Who knows, maybe we will see her with Mr Park.”

“I think they’re both very much married,” you reply, and some of the worry washes away when you hear your own voice. Suddenly, you’re not in this unfamiliar place anymore, but back in the halls of the high school that you walk in every single day.

“Like that’s ever stopped people,” Jisung grins. “C’mon, he’s not bad-looking for his age.”

This time, a very genuine laugh bursts out of you.

“That’s not an image I needed!” you protest.

“Like you’ve never thought about it before,” he teases, and as you let out noises of disgust, his flashlight sweeps over the floor. “What do you think? Do we start with the custodian and the principal’s office, or do we go for the basement? That’s where she’d be if it’s a problem with the electricity?”

“She’s probably in the basement if she’s been gone all this time,” you reason, but you really do not want to venture down there at the moment. Even with Jisung by your side, you don’t think you’d enjoy this small of a space with no lights other than your own. Just thinking about it has your throat becoming tighter. “But, uh, maybe we can start with the principal’s office?”

Jisung agrees to that with more enthusiasm than it warrants, and then you listen to him dramatically offer possibilities about how Ms Kim and Mr Park could have gotten together. You laugh more than you should, more than you would were you with anyone else in the same situation, and it’s not the right place nor the right time, but you know you’re falling in love with him. You’ve always suspected that it was just a matter of spending more time with him, always told yourself that it was therefore not a good idea. But here you were now, and there was not a thing you could do about it.

“Okay, here we are,” you say, interrupting a truly wild scenario in which the teacher and the principle are Russian spies who got married as a cover but were actually high school sweethearts. “Should I, uh, knock?”

Jisung shrugs, moving past you to try the handle. As he does so, you’re struck by how quiet it is. There’s no way she’s in there, we’ve wasted our time, you think.

Then, to your surprise, the door opens. Jisung walks in. Then freezes in the opening.

“What’s going on,” you ask, taking a step forward to look over his shoulder, “don’t tell me they’re really—"

But you’re not met with the sight of two lovers. Instead, your eyes first find Mr Park, slumped on his desk, something that you can’t identify sticking out of his back. On the floor, right in front of Jisung, is Ms Kim. She’s lying on her back, her eyes wide open and her pupil still and empty. It takes you a second to realize that the angle her head is at with her body is wrong, and a second longer to understand that that’s because her throat’s is nothing more than a wide, gaping wound. Underneath her, a puddle of blood that you realize you’ve stepped into. She looks so pale, compared to how she was just a few minutes ago.

You open your mouth to scream. Before you can, though, Jisung’s hand comes to cover it, and you only let out a whimper as your eyes search his. For the first time tonight, he’s lost his nonchalant confidence.

“Someone could still be there,” he whispers to you. “We shouldn’t stay here.”

With one last look at your teacher, he closes the door.

Things are blurry after that. You remember him grabbing your wrist as he drags you away from the scene. You remember him trying a few doors before pulling you into an empty classroom. You remember him vomiting in a trashcan and self-consciously wiping his mouth afterwards. You remember sitting on a table in silence for you don’t know how long.

“We have to get out of here,” he says at some point. He sounds sure of himself again.

“We have to— we have to go get Nari and Hanseok,” you answer. As soon as the words leave your mouth, you feel guilty for not having thought of them immediately. Shit, they must still be waiting for the two of you to return. Someone could have— someone could have already—

You’re on your feet before you think. It’s unlike you, but it says a lot that your brain doesn’t harp on that in the moment. There’s an urgency in your chest that you’re not used to feeling.

“We need to go get them.”

Jisung studies you for a second, then swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down.

“Okay,” he says. His voice is weak. “Okay. We’re getting them and then we’re going out of here, right?”

You nod. Guilt and fear are battling within you, but both feelings are directed towards the people you’ve left behind. You think it would kill you if something happened to them that you could have stopped.

The walk back to the detention is faster, but it feels like it take ages. Jisung keeps close to you, checking behind you while you keep your eyes on what’s in front of you. You see nothing, hear nothing. Just like earlier, the high school feels empty. Unlike earlier, you know it is not.

You’re almost there, starting to breathe again, starting to think you’ll make it, when you hear the screams. Terrified, you back into Jisung, who wraps his arm around you.

“Light,” he hisses, “light out, now.”

You’re too scared to do anything other than what he suggests. It overtakes your whole body, freezes your muscles into place. His chest is pressed against your back as you stay perfectly still, and you can feel his heart beating wildly, betraying the fact that he’s in the same state as you. In the distance, a door slams open.

“Don’t leave me here!” Nari screams.

In the dark, someone that you have to assume is Hanseok rushes past you. He’s fast, powerful. Whoever you hear after him is fast too, footsteps squeaking in the hallways, and all you’re thinking is that Nari is wearing heels.

At least Hanseok’s making it out is the thought that follows — for a second at least, because it isn’t long after that there’s a shout of frustration and the sound of someone struggling with a door. Then screams, intercut with disgusting, wet sounds that you can only imagine are what a knife produces when it’s brought down into someone. Tears stream down your face in silence. The front door’s locked and Hanseok— Hanseok is—

“Nari,” you whisper, choking on the word.

Jisung nods and pulls you forward, but by the time you get to the detention room, it’s empty. You check for a body, turning your cellphone’s light back on, terrified you’ll find one, and you can breathe again when you don’t find her anywhere.

“Now we have to go,” Jisung insists.

“But she’s—”

“We’ve done what we could. C’mon, we have no way of knowing where she is, she could be out by—”

The speakers creak horribly.

“Attention, students,” a man’s voice comes through. It’s loud and booming, but more than anything, it’s even. It doesn’t shake, doesn’t have the hysterical accents that you’ve heard in movies. If anything, it sounds like he’s playing the role of a school announcer, and the thought makes you sick to your stomach. “Lee Nari. Han Jisung. Kang Won— Ah, no, I suppose that’s been taken care of, hasn’t it. Im Taewoon.” Then he pauses for a second, before reading your name, and you feel overcome with helplessness. Before that, it felt like it was— You’re not sure what you were feeling, but it didn’t feel targeted. Now, you think that even leaving the school might not make the nightmare end. “Well, you might not be who I’m looking for,” the man chuckles— he fucking chuckles — after saying your name. “We’ll see. If you’re good, I’ll consider letting you off the hook. The rest of you though… you won’t cause trouble again.”

This is like a bad slasher movie with a stupid premise, something you’d make fun of if you weren’t caught in the middle of it.

“Windows and doors are locked,” he announces dramatically. “Breaking out only means that I’ll come get you, so do yourself a favor and surrender, hm? I promise to make it quick.”

Then he hangs up.

“What do we do?” you whisper to Jisung. “You— you love horror movies, right? What should we do?”

He stares at you.

“Yeah, I— I do. I didn’t think you’d remember.” It’s not the moment, but for a second — less than that, a fraction of it — you’re no longer a terrified prey but a teenager again, feeling like you’ve just exposed your crush. “I— one of us should leave.”

You shake your head.

“He said he’d hunt us. He could show up at our parents’ house—”

“I know,” he interrupts you. “But that’s— that’s why one of us should stay here.”

Again, you shake your head, more vehemently this time.

“No. No way. We’re not— We’re not doing that.”

He grabs your arms, the motion gentle instead of forceful, like one more attempt at comforting you as he looks straight into your eyes.

“Listen. One of us needs to leave. I— I think he’s probably watching the windows. He must know that we’d try to leave, right? So he’s— probably ready to give chase.” He swallows thickly. “If he— If he has a rifle or something— But that’d give someone else time to escape, if he leaves too. If not… Someone could go get help. Nari might have called the cops already, but that— that doesn’t mean they’re coming right now.”

“No,” you repeat, because you think you know where he is going with this.

“I’ll— What do you want to do? I— I think I should go.”

He’s close enough that you can see there are tears in his eyes.

“You should— you should be ready to leave from the other side when I do,” he whispers, and you want to cry too. “I’ll distract him.”

You shake your head, but you don’t think you can change his mind.

“Hey, I can be really fast, okay?” His tone gets lighter. “Maybe I’ll outrun him.”

You’d be more inclined to believe that if the man hadn’t been able to catch up with Hanseok — though you suppose that he wouldn’t have on open grounds, and that gives you some hope that you desperately cling to.

“You better,” you hear yourself say.

Jisung lets out a long, deep breath, then turns around to face the window. It’s true that they’re locked; they always are at the end of the day. But they’re not known for being particularly solid. As a matter of fact, they regularly get broken by football players. You wonder if that’s what got Hanseok in trouble, then shove the subject as far down as you can, because it reminds you that he’s— he’s—

“Okay,” Jisung mumbles, grabbing a chair and getting ready to swing it at the window. Just as he lifts it above his head, though, he stops himself and sets it down to face you.

Something passes between the two of you. It’s hard not to think that this might be the last time you see each other, however his escape attempt goes. Jisung swallows thickly.

Then he’s grabbing your shoulders and pressing his lips against yours. It’s brief, kind of clumsy. Nothing about it is how you envisioned your first kiss. But his lips are soft and warm, and he’s holding on to you like he never wants to let go.

He does anyway, looking at you with wide eyes.

“F–For luck,” he mumbles.

“Sure,” you choke out in response. “No, uh, no problem.”

You’ll die of embarrassment at that later on, if you don’t just die tonight.

His chair smashes through the window, the sound unbearably loud in the silence of the school, and he doesn’t stick around to see what happens. Cutting his hands on the broken glass, he jumps out while you back out of the room to go crouch in a dark corner. You peek to see him sprinting through the football field, waiting with baited breath to see the killer following after him.

He doesn’t.

You wait longer.

Still nothing.

And you realize you’re stuck in the building with him.

“Well, well,” the voice in the speaker says, right as the realization settles, as calm as it was the first time. “Seems like we’ve had an infraction. Too bad. Seems I’ll have to go hunting once I’m done with you.”

Then it cuts again. For a while, you can’t hear yourself think over the terrified thoughts that fill your mind. You think of following after Jisung, but you have no way of knowing if the killer would let it slide twice. Truth be told, with Jisung gone, you feel your old patterns of thinking catching up with you. You’re too scared to go, and the more you wait, the more you think it’s now too late to go. Your anxiety has you in a chokehold, with no intention of letting go.

What does get you to move is the greater fear that the killer could come inspect the place, now that Jisung’s left. He must have noticed that only Nari and Hanseok were in the room — if he thinks Taewoon was still here, probably because he was murdering Ms Kim at that point, that would have to mean the three of you were together, in his mind. It begs the question of how Taewoon got out, but you wouldn’t be surprised if he had his ways of doing it, even with the windows closed.

You don’t turn your light off, listening closely as you cross the hallways. You’re aiming for the kitchens, though you haven’t actually stopped to think about it. All that your mind can supply with as a justification is that you need a weapon. Realistically, you don’t think it would do you any good. You probably wouldn’t be able to use it against anyone. But who gives a fuck about realism right now? You might die here tonight. Three of the people you used to see around every day are gone forever already. If finding a knife makes you feel better, you’ll get yourself a knife, dammit.

You regret it when you make your way through the cafeteria. Because of how it’s situated, there is more light coming from outside in here than there was elsewhere. You’ve already started to see the dark as an ally, and leaving it makes you feel incredibly exposed. Despite that, you run through it, bent in half, trying to stay behind the tables, and get into the kitchens.

You’re searching through the drawers for a knife when the most terrifying sound you can think of right now resonates behind you.

The door. Someone’s opened the door.

You crouch behind one of the many kitchen isles. Silent tears are running down your face, but adrenaline is keeping you from completely giving up — for now, anyway.

“Who do we have here?” the voice asks, and you press a hand against your mouth so you don’t accidentally give yourself away. It doesn’t just echo in the cafeteria though, no, it comes out through the speakers as well. Like he wants the survivors to know that he’s gotten one of you, and that they never had a chance in the first place. “I’ll be very disappointed in you if it’s you, (Y/N). If you’d stayed put, you might have had a chance. Now, I have to wonder if you helped your friend leave, too.”

Glancing over the corner, you see a man in a mask slowly walking through the kitchen. Slowly, you start backing up, careful not to make a sound. If you run, maybe you’ll get to the door. If you get to the door, maybe he’ll lose you and you’ll be able to hide better.

Please. Please. You just want to make it out of here. You want— you want to go to college. You want to ask Jisung what that kiss meant. You want to get home to your parents.

It’s as you’re getting up that you bump your head into one of the drawers that you’ve left open. Once it happens, you’re on your feet in an instant, making a dash for the door, but the man intercepts you before you can get away. You fall on your back when he pushes you, and he shakes his head at you.

“I thought you were better than that,” he sighs. “It truly is a shame that you got caught up in this, but I suppose you weren’t as good as you made yourself out to be.”

He raises the knife. Tears blur your vision.

Then there’s a loud smack. Nari appears behind him, a bent plastic tray in her hands and tears streaming down her face.

“I’m s–so sorry you got detention because of me,” she sobs out, chest heaving, and all you can do is stare — though a part of you that right now is very far from the surface appreciates the sentiment. You note, vaguely, that she’s barefoot, probably having ditched the heels when she realized they would only get her in trouble.  She holds her hand out, and you take it without hesitation, pulling yourself to your feet just in time to see the man rise again behind her. He’s rubbing the back of his head, but he’s nowhere near unconscious, and he’s close. You pull Nari away, but his knife still slashes across her back and she falls forward, screaming.

You back up, but his eyes aren’t on you. Instead, he goes to stand above Nari. She tries to crawl forward, crying, and you see him lowering himself above her.

If you don’t want to watch her die in front of your eyes, you need to find the fucking knives.

The first two drawers you stumble into as Nari struggles and desperately hits at the men are empty.

The third one has knives.

You can’t afford to think as you rush back towards them. The man raises his knife once, and Nari catches the blade with her bare hand. You try to tune out both the screams and the sounds. Then he grabs her wrists with the one hand. Raises the knife again.

You’re out of time.

You stab him in the chest, and he lets out a sharp, horrified gasp. You push him backwards while his blade catches at your arms, the adrenaline too strong to feel it for now. You drive the blade into him, again and again and again, until he’s fallen and his knife has gone still, and all that fills the room are Nari’s tears and whimpers of pain.

It’s only as your own pain catches up with you that you admit what’s just happened.

You did it.

You lived.

 They take Nari and Hanseok to a hospital first, both of their wounds being much more significant than your own. Hanseok’s condition, from what you’ve heard, was ‘critical’. You’d felt hope at that, at first, but the looks people had exchanged had soon quashed that.

They weren’t optimistic.

As they leave, you stay wrapped in a blanket, sitting in an ambulance as your arms are being disinfected as the cops search the building. All of your limbs ache like you’ve just run a marathon, but you can’t make yourself look away, no matter how hard you’ve tried. Staying there, you hear, vaguely, that the killer was a former member of staff that had been let go earlier in the year. He’s alive too, for now, because you hadn’t known where to aim when you’d attacked him — ironically, that’s the same reason Hanseok’s still breathing. His exact motive was being debated still, but you found unable to care. Why would you give a shit about why he'd done that? All that mattered was that he’d done it.

You’re sitting there, stewing in those thoughts, when Jisung appears. You don’t think they were supposed to let him through, but it looks like he managed to sneak in. He’s clearly been crying, his eyes all red and his face puffy.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, his voice breaking as he chokes on the words. “I didn’t think— I didn’t think I’d be leaving you alone in there with him. I— I did as fast as I could, I promise, but they— they thought it was a prank call and I—”

“It’s—” You want to say ‘It’s fine’, but the words refuse to come out of your mouth. “It’s not your fault,” you manage to say instead. “You had no way of knowing. I’m— Nari and I should both be fine. You did— You did the best thing you could have done.”

Nari had mentioned, as you were lying with her on the cold floor of the cafeteria, that she’d seen you walk in, soon followed by the man. She hadn’t found herself able to stay away. Who knew, if she hadn’t felt so guilty, maybe she wouldn’t have gone in. Maybe if it had been Jisung, he’d be gone by now. Maybe if you’d left through the window, the killer would have followed you.

There are too many what ifs to let him blame himself.

“I’m glad you made it,” you say softly, trying not to cry again.

He nods, opens his mouth, then shakes his head as tears flow once again, and just comes to sit next to you. It’s not so often that you see Han Jisung so completely quiet. You rest your head on his shoulder, trying to bring him what comfort you can, certainly taking all that you are able to from his touch.

You know, in that moment, that the consequences of tonight would likely follow you for the rest of your life. You don’t know if there will be a single day in the future where you don’t think of it. But right now, the thought that maybe, just maybe, not everything that comes from tonight has to be horrible and dark and crushing helps you to just keep breathing.

Jisung’s fingers quietly rub circles on your skin. He presses a kiss into your hair, mumbles ‘Thank you’s to no one in particular.

Finally, you allow yourself to close your eyes.

since this is different from what I usually write (and gets brutal), I'm exceptionally not using my taglist.

i enjoyed writing this and wrote almost 4k for it today, so, uh, sorry if it stops making sense at around 3k in. something that i particularly enjoy is breaking genre expectations by jumping into another genre. here, the first half is inspired by your typical high school movies, before veering into a thriller/horror movie, which i quite like (but it can also be disorienting and i'd get it if you didn't enjoy it). anyway.

if you've made it to this point, I hope you've enjoyed this series and this installment of it! don't hesitate to comment or reblog, honestly any feedback or support is appreciated. i'll see you all again for the hyung line in December (and maybe even in the meantime with other projects, who knows). take care!

[wonfilms]

SKZ & THE VOICEMAILS THEY SEND AFTER YOU BREAK UP.

warnings ; angst , tears

pairings ; ot8! x reader

a/n : i apologise very deeply in advance <3

bangchan : " i never realised how much time i wasted , when i could've been spending it all with you "

he was busy, you were busy, in the end it was meant to be a break but after just a week away from you he just couldn't cope. he barely had the time to smile at you in the mornings, you didn't deserve that, it was supposed to be for the best, but it shouldn't hurt this much right?

lee know : "i'm still not over you and i can't take it anymore"

he shouldn't be doing this, he shouldn't be crying himself to sleep when it was all his fault in the first place, he thought of how hurt you looked when he said you should call it quits. he shouldn't be feeling bad when he brought this all upon himself. and for what? all because he thought he wasn't good enough for you.

changbin : "do you hate me?"

he knew the answer already, it would be the cold hard buzz of your ringtone if he called you, he's tried. of course he has... but he knew that he had the answer from the moment you left his apartment that night. he'd never forget how you looked at him, hatred was the only way to describe it.

hyunjin : "i wrote that song about you"

he thought you didnt love him anymore, he was a loud lover and sometimes he forgot that you were your own person before you were his. maybe that's why it all came crashing down. he only realised how much you loved him after you broke up, sat in the cold depths of his now quiet apartment. the love was just you all along..

and now that you're gone you took it with you, leaving him to most suffocate in the love he had for you.

seungmin : "do you still have the camera i gave you? take lots of pictures for me"

he gave you that camera for your first anniversary, and now that you're gone he finds himself reminiscing about the times he shared with you. happy and sad feelings had been captured with that camera, and however much he hated to admit it... you would move on, and that camera would capture each of your new memories but this time just without him.

han : "i'm still not used to having a cold space next to me when i wake up"

han could never admit it when you were dating. he could never admit the fact you were almost like a comfort blanket to help him sleep at night. but now you're not here he wants to scream it to the world. sleep just doesn't come as easy as it used to anymore, he slept and woke up with your arms no longer wrapped around him, he felt almost as if he'd been stripped bare, the silences of his room felt almost as loud as the thumping of his heartbeat in his ears.

felix : "can i hear your voice... please? even if it will be for the final time?"

your voice was fading in his head, each note used to ring clear but now all he could hear were the honeyed remnants of what used to be his favourite sound in the world. he missed it more than he could even fathom , he could only remember the sheer comfort of how each syllable sounded coming out of your lips, and he would give anything to hear you again, even it would be the last time.

jeongin : "how did we end up like this? "

it all started with missed phone calls and half sincere smiles and it amounted to sleeping on opposite ends of the bed and hushed greetings. how did it all end up like this? jeongin recounted every minute so many times over in his head, what had gone so wrong? maybe he wanted to know for a sense of closure, if that was what fate wished upon the two of you so be it but if there's anything he could've done to make it all better he would do it in a heartbeat

© @/ minvho ; DO NOT REPOST OR TRANSLATE.

[astraystayyh]

can i get a drabble with any member of your choice (or if you can't choose, i'm actually thinking either jisung/lino👉🏻👈🏻,) where they are just enjoying a nice peaceful morning with you. (maybe after either a passionate or a tense angsty night for a little spice if u want hehe)

5422

Pairing : Han x reader, pre-established relationship.

Genre : Angst, fluff.

I've always wanted to write about Han and this just gave me the perfect opportunity to do so. Hope you'll like it <3

Fighting with Han is never fun.

You don't even remember what your disagreement was about, you just know that hurtful words were uttered, on both of your parts. And now, you're in the kitchen drinking your fourth glass of water, trying to delay the inevitable moment you'd have to go to your bedroom and face Han.

But it is already 11pm and you have to wake up early tomorrow. So you reluctantly place your glass down and head towards your bedroom. Your footsteps are heavy, and so is the burden in your heart.

You open the door slowly, to find Han already in bed, his back turned towards you. He kept the lights on for you, you realize. The small attention makes you stop in your tracks for a moment.

You quietly place Han's vitamins on his bedside before joining him in bed. There are mere centimeters between your bodies and yet they feel like a vaste ocean, stretching you farther and farther away from each other.

You find yourself missing your hushed conversations, the warmth of his body, and the way his hair tickles your neck when he pulls you closer to him.

But you are stubborn, and so is he. You won't yield first. So you stay put in your place, looking up at the ceiling. You know that sleep won't come easily to you tonight.

You don't know how much time has passed, but you can hear Han shift in his place. He sighs loudly before tapping your shoulder gently. "Come here," he whispers and you bite your lower lip forcefully.

"I'm still mad at you."

"I know. So am I. But I... I need you," he admits in a quiet voice and you feel all your anger melt away.

You inch closer to Han, tentatively resting your head on his chest, and his arms wrap around your body, pulling you closer to him. It feels safe and familiar, and you almost choke out a sob at the thought of not having him anymore.

"We'll figure it out, right? You're not leaving me," your voice is barely audible and Han's embrace tightens around you.

"Of course I'm not. You're not getting rid of me that easily," he teases and you chuckle lightly, the weight in your heart slowly unraveling, allowing you to breathe again.

When you wake up the next day, you find Han staring intently at you. You bury your face in his neck, too flustered by his intense gaze.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"It's hard to remember why I was angry when you look this pretty."

"Can we not do that again?" you pout, leaning back to look at him properly.

"Yeah, I hate fighting with you."

"Me too."

"We should come up with a code name for when one of us feels too overwhelmed, so we can give each other space," he proposes and you smile at him, "Like what?"

"A random word, like 'potato'."

"So in the middle of a fight you want me to say potato?" you giggle and he puffs his cheeks at you, "I don't know, we'll figure a better code later."

"Yeah? What will we do now?" you smile mischievously at him.

"Right now..." he trails off, his hand gently grazing your cheek, "I will kiss you to make up for all the lost kisses of yesterday."

"All of them? How many are we talking about?"

"5422 kisses." Your anniversary date.

"Isn't that too much?" you giggle and he shakes his head at you.

"There is no such thing as too much when it comes to you."

[hhy5lost]

NO ESCAPE

GENRE —> ANGST, HURT

PAIRING — > H. Jisung x F!Reader

SYNOPSIS —> You feel intoxicated by your own thoughts and burdens. You should be grateful, but it's hard when life doesn't seem too worthy of living. You just feel bad your boyfriend has to deal with it

WC —> 420

A/N —> this is more self indulgent so like...it won't be as good as the rest cause this ain't even a real plot nor story per say.

There doesn't feel a way to escape. I could kill myself, though, I'm too young, too scared and too many people to disappoint. I hate that we have to be selfish for wanting to disappear because of everyone who so suppose care about us. It's a big step. But, I know I don't want to live anymore, such big desires for such a stupid, dumb girl like me who can't decide anything for herself. I want to be happy, I really do. I should be grateful. I have an amazing boyfriend who’d do anything and everything for me in a heartbeat, no hesitation. A roof over my head, food, clothes. All you could imagine. Although, what's the point of having all of these expenses when I don't feel alive most days. I think I'm okay, and soon in a depressive mindset not too many days later and in a cycle that rotates, continuously. it seemed to get, easier, somehow. I just want it to end. Is it so hard to want? Maybe death is the way. though, i have a feeling the mental suffering wouldn't end even when I'm dead. I wish I was normal. I don't want this mind anymore, please, I want a new one. I don't want to live like this anymore, in constant battle within myself. Maybe, trying to change my life style will help. maybe eating healthier, being more active. Or maybe… a new start?

I'm so lost, yet no one seems to understand. They say they do then say completely different things that aren't even what I'm talking about. Why're you talking about yourself? This isn't about you. This problem is about me and my suffering. Why does no one understand that? Are you even listening to me? You sound like a foul. Go away please, I want to be alone. I feel suffocated, intoxicated within your presence and what feels like verbal abuse. 

Jisung feels defeated, I know he does. He acts like he cares and loves me so much to the point of being so understanding. He probably pity’s me or is just taking care of me because he feels bad, doesn't want to hurt my feelings. 

…He brought me flowers today..they were my favorite, smelt amazing too. “These are for you. I wanted to get you something, because you deserve it, my sweet girl.” Those words always felt so sincere to me. I feel bad he forces himself to love and take care of me…maybe I'm the fool.

🏷️: @jinnie-ret @hannahhbahng @sharonxdevi @amararosesblog @lolareadsimagines @dunno-wut-to-do @baribaaari @miniminverse @lil-kpopstan @qweebsarse @atinyniki @michelle4eve @newhope8 @hongying52 @depressedvee @iyeeeverydee @kpopsstuffs @writingforstraykids-reblogs @palindrome969 @sona1800 @loveforhyunho @straykidsholicleigh

[orikiys]

✿ ✿ 〞 voicemails with han on your wedding day

✰ pairings: bsf!han x fem!reader

✰ genre: angst, fluff if you squint and romance

✰ word count: 1.3k+ words

HAN | chan | minho | changbin | hyunjin | felix | seungmin | jeongin

one 𖨂

first off, i’m sorry i made you cry like that. i’m sorry that i intentionally hurt you even though i didn’t mean to. i guess it’s time to spill the beans, huh? it’s been what– like 6 years now? 6 years of constantly pining over you. 6 years of falling in love with every bit of you. and 6 years of watching you fall for several people and get your heart broken. i’ve seen it all. lived it all as well, right by your side just like always. it wasn’t easy of course, watching the love of your life kiss someone else, hug someone else or cry over stupid exes who didn’t deserve you. but i did my best to hold it in. but now . . . i don’t think i can. i love you so much, more than you’ve ever now and more than you ever will. your fiancé is lucky. he truly is. for being able to marry a girl like you in less than a few hours. and you must be wondering why i’m sending you these voicemails 3 hours before your wedding. well it’s because you don’t have your phone with you right now as you’re very much busy, which is a golden opportunity for me.

two 𖨂

i hate you. so so much. i hate you so much for making me feel this way. i hate you so much for running through my mind the entire day. i hate you so much for making me feel all excited and giddy whenever you smile at me, but your eyes. . . they have love. not the romantic one, the platonic one. and that’s what hurts me the most. i even thought of telling this to you earlier but i couldn’t. not when our friendship of 8 years was at stake. never. nothing is more precious than that. but sometimes i do wonder whether your heart used to beat fast when i stood close to you. or whether your cheeks used to feel warm when i touched you. did it ever happen to you? i guess not. how could you love a guy like me? you, who are literally the perfectionist and me who learnt from you. doesn’t match right? i wished it did. i truly wished it did.

three 𖨂

i never lost hope, you know? instead i clung onto it until the very end, which is today. i hoped for you to fall in love with me little by little. and even though you couldn’t reciprocate my love for you, i wish we tried. but i fall in love with you a little bit more day by day. and now my heart is swelling with immense sadness that it even hurts to laugh without letting out tears of pain. it hurts to see you smile knowing i’m not the main reason anymore. i’ve become a side one. and it hurts to see you so excited for your wedding. and i hate myself for that. i hate that i can’t even pretend to be happy for my best friend who finally found true love. best friend. that’s all i mean to you right? nothing more, nothing less. but i don’t blame you. i could never. so i hope he doesn’t hurt you ever. because i might not be sufficient for you whether it be now or 10 years later. just know that.

four 𖨂

as i stand wearing my tuxedo, i wonder how it would look to have your arm linked with mine. to have your eyes shining with joy, for me. but that can never happen, can it? i see the way you look at him. the way you talk about him. and when you’re angry at him, it hurts me even then. oh, how i wish i could be him. standing by your weeping side and wiping your tears. or perhaps, holding you in my arms under the moonlight. it sounds heavenly doesn’t it? at least it does for me. which is the exact reason why it isn’t real. and i can’t imagine what would happen after you hear these. just don’t hate me please? i beg you. it took me a lot of courage to say this. and i would die if i ever knew that you hate me. your man, he’s perfect in every way. i tried to find any flaw but there isn’t one. he’s madly in love with you too but not longer than me, try to beat that. he gifts you all his love and never his anger. he treats you like a delicate vase, if handled improperly, you might break. he engulfs you in his love and you can practically drown in his eyes with the amount of admiration it contains for you. all for you, my angel.

five 𖨂

i’m back, hiding in the bathroom as i speak. your wedding just ended– and i don’t think i could see you two kissing. i’m so sorry angel. so so sorry. i didn’t want to be that bad friend who falls in love and starts acting as a homewrecker. never. i’m so sorry for falling in love with you. if only i didn’t look at you while you were doing my makeup, this wouldn’t have happened. i danced with you although, and when you asked why i was getting emotional i could only smile with tears. this was the last time i held you like i loved you. the last time i twirled you, and the last time i caught you. because now, i’m throwing away that hope from my life. and i’m letting you go now, my love. i promise. i won’t ever try to love you again the way i did and i’ll punish myself if i ever do that once more.

six 𖨂

at times i even thought i don't want to love you anymore. you tore my heart out in the summer and tossed it aside with a carefree laugh and that crooked smile, before sauntering off to meet your new partner before classes began in the autumn. i don't want to flinch every time i hear your name escape someone’s mouth. i don't want to keep getting hurt every time a memory flashes in my mind like a blaring siren, a loop of playful moments and the moments where i fell deeper. i want to not care about you anymore. i want to be perfect strangers, but i couldn’t just not care when you knocked on my door at 4 am, drunk and a sobbing mess, i just took you in my arms. i held you for hours till the moon disappeared, replacing itself with brightness. not for me. not when you couldn’t even remember how i cared for you or how we went back to being best friends. maybe it was selfish of me to for the night knowing you saw my worth only in your drunk state. but it was enough for me. you were enough for me. and my heart shattered every time knowing i wasn’t.

seven 𖨂

i’m finally letting you free, from the love i had buried deep in my heart. i wish you a happy married life, my angel. and i’m sorry but i will be leaving tonight. i’m going away for a while. for good. and even though i have many excuses i won’t tell them to you. i need time. away from you. away from those feelings that keep bubbling out just by hearing your laughter. i know i’m late. very late in fact. but could you try and not hate me for this? please? it’ll be my last wish before i go. and now, suddenly, everything seems like a goodbye. the last dance, the last hug, the last smile, the last kiss on my cheek and the last moment where i add a full stop to this unrequited love of mine. congratulations angel. though i wished i could call you mine.

[edenalieth]

A SPIDER-HAN STORY...

Words: 742 words, spiderverse!au Song rec: Sunflower by Post Malone & Swae Lee

A.N: hello hello! im back into my spiderverse era lately and who would be better than the han peter himself for a short story ? hope you will enjoy it! more is coming (hopefully...) soon :), maybe my very first full length jisung fic... who knows... — 240401

His limbs felt sore after his last fight. Massaging his left arm, he checked his body, looking for any important damage. Physical and material ones. He had been a bother for Mr.Stark… Endangering him because of his clumsiness. Thankfully, his mentor had more experience, knew how to keep his composure and perfectly controlled his equipment. However, the silent treatment the youngest had received couldn’t be mistaken. Mr.Stark was mad at him.

Jisung sighed loudly, pacing the rooftop of a building, as the scenes of the fight kept looping in his mind. Every single mistakes he had made were becoming clear and he couldn’t help but think that he had been fucking stupid to do such things. He just wanted to impress his role model, prove him that he was worth of his trust and that he could help on a bigger scale. Not just run after simple thieves or rescue Mrs.Yoon’s cat from a bad fall. He sighed again, head between his hands, fingers entangled in his hair. He looked at his mask, already torn here and there. Was he enough to call himself a hero ? A mix of guilt and shame was compressing his chest, the raging buzz of the city under making his head spin, his breathing getting quicker and chaotic. He couldn’t even hear himself think anymore. He clenched and unclenched his fists repeatedly, fighting the urge to punch onto something, anything. He had to calm down. Grabbing his crossbody bag, he threw it over his chest and shoulders and pulled down his mask. He checked that everything was correctly settled before putting his headphone over his covered ears. Deep breath. The downtown kept growling, like a beast, hidden by the high walls of the buildings and skyscrapers which were looking like claws. Again, his legs started to move. His steps were echoing on the asphalt. Faster, he thought to himself, pushing his muscles into their limits, his small strides turning into sprint. Soon, his feet met the edge of the roof, a swift jump over it, his eyes being dazzled by the tremendous city lights. He opened his arms, diving into the void beneath him. His fingers met the button on the side of his headphone, turning on the noise cancelling feature, finally finding peace. He shut his eyes close, enjoying the sensation he once feared which now felt like his only escape from his amazing yet stressful life as Spider-Man. When he began his late night strolls, he wasn’t going too far nor too high, yet unsure of his web shooters and of the distance separating him from the walls and ground. Not long after, it became his routine, his haven. 

Air was molding around him, like a blanket. He only opened his eyes when his spidey-sense warned him to do so. Smoothly, he shot a web on the nearest wall and started to swing from building to building. Jumping, letting himself free fall for a bit, clinging on a window, keep going. He even found himself chuckling while doing so. What a thrill… His relaxing time was cut short when he felt something buzzing inside his bag. Right after, he opened it and grabbed his phone, not noticing that several things were falling along the way… The screen softly lit up. A picture of him, his best friend Seungmin and you, appearing on it. He had three miss called. Two of his aunt and one from you. That was kind of rare and his heart skipped a beat. It was useless trying to deny the fact that he had a longtime crush on you. You became friends the second year of high school, creating a fine trio with Seungmin. Since then, you had never stopped to amaze him by your mind and beauty. In a blink of an eye, he perched himself on the fence of some emergency stairs and tapped on your name. Few ringtones. 

- You’re finally calling me back ! What took you so long ? Anyway, just wa-

His ears were welcomed by the soft tone of your voice despite your fake annoyed state. He was smiling to himself, holding his phone tenderly, swaying his feet in the air. Maybe one day he would be able to confess to you, to tell you all about this, to make you come along his little strolls. However, for that wish to become true, he had to be worthy of the title named: hero.

[skz317cb97]

Movie Night

Han Jisung x thick female reader

Word count: 9.6k (yowza)

A/N: 18+ only! So, I wanted to write this story after the Chan's room comment on his last vlive. I was already working on a Jisung fic and when this idea hit me I HAD to rework the plot because I needed to write this. I hope people that relate to this story know that their worth is not based on their appearance or weight. Everyone has insecurities, fat, skinny, whatever. The content of your heart is what matters and how you treat others. I hope everyone always remembers that. I hope you enjoy reading and if you do, please leave a comment, like, reblog, shoot me an ask, I love the feedback! As always warnings and smut below the cut!

Warnings: MDNI 18+ ONLY! Strong language/cursing, Weight and body image issues are a big part of the plot in this fic, if that can be triggering for you, you might skip this one! Dry humping, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected piv sex (please don't do this, use protection), cream pie, overstimulation, cum eating, hella praise and pet names (baby, jagi etc), squirting, Jisung get a little possessive but not in a toxic way, mentioning of coming on breasts, mentioning of oral sex (m receiving) and coming in mouth. I think that's everything but if I ever miss a warning, please let me know and I'll add it immediately.

You and Jisung loved having movie nights together. The other guys enjoyed watching movies too but not the way you and Jisung did. You would over load on snacks and sugar and throw popcorn at each other or the screen when the main character of whatever film you were watching did something predictably stupid. It was forty percent watching the movie, sixty percent critiquing, and one hundred percent fun. You were a two-person episode of MST3K minus the robots. Movie nights with Jisung were the highlight of your week.  

It was probably pretty obvious to anyone with eyes that you had a crush on Jisung. Regardless of how obvious it was you would never admit that. Not to him, not to anyone. You weren’t his type and you knew that. You were heavier, perhaps a bit more than beauty standards would consider ‘aesthetically pleasing’, at least that was the view you had of yourself. You knew that didn’t mean you weren’t pretty but you were bigger and you also had eyes. You saw the kind of girls Jisung went after on the rare occasions you had gone to clubs together and they most definitely did not look like you. You also could see what HE looked like. He was not only beautiful and fit but funny and kind. Guys like him didn’t go for girls like you and it was fine. That was fine.  

You cherished the friendship you had with Jisung and wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that no matter how strong the feelings you had for him were. What you didn’t realize was that Jisung was trying to deal with the fact that he had feelings for you too. At first, he didn’t see you as any more than a good friend that also happened to be a girl. You weren’t the type of girl he would typically go for. After being friends with you a couple of years now he had become endeared by you and after your last movie night Jisung had come to realize he was completely bewitched and he had absolutely no idea what to do or say now. He was sure you felt the same but he still was holding onto some reservations about perusing something with you and he wasn’t sure why he felt that way when you both were so clearly perfectly matched.  

You and Jisung loved movie nights together. So, it wasn’t unusual for you to be snuggled up on the couch under a blanket at the dorm with Jisung on a Friday night with three or four movies on standby. What was unusual this particular Friday was the awkward air hanging between the two of you. Everything seemed fine the week before and nothing seemed out of the ordinary that night so far. You had agreed on horror movies and you were well into your second one. The first had actually been pretty scary, making you jump a few times gripping Jisung’s arm and hiding your face, cuddling in closer to him under the shared blanket. The movie you were watching now hadn’t been as bad until it was. One of the main girls was slinking through a dark decrepit house and was suddenly snatched from behind by the crazed killer, practically sending you sailing out of your skin. Jisung tensed up when you buried your face in his shoulder for the umpteenth time that night.  

You hadn’t realized it but every time you pressed your plush body closer to Jisung his posture had stiffened as well as other parts of his body. He was very happy for the blanket or hiding his hard on might not have been so simple. There had been something out of the ordinary that night, for Jisung at least, and that was your choice in attire for movie night. You both always opted for pajamas because comfort duh, but you had come out of the bathroom that night after changing into pajamas Jisung had never seen you in before. A crop top with matching fuzzy shorts. His throat went dry the moment he saw you. It was the most of your skin he’d ever seen. He knew you were self-conscious about your body so you usually kept pretty covered up, even now the crop top wasn’t particularly revealing and the shorts weren’t that short but seeing your silky thighs and the fact that he could tell you weren’t wearing a bra under the crop top had Jisung ready to burst.  

When you noticed his tense body language you realized you were practically laying on top of him. Even though you loved being close to Jisung you backed off of him a little, worried you might be making him uncomfortable with your weight on him like that.  

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to... I mean... I’m sorry if I’m crushing you.” Jisung hated hearing you say that. So you were bigger, it didn’t matter, not to him. Even if he had thought you weren’t his type before because of that. He was an idiot. He knew now no matter what size you were you were he thought you were fucking gorgeous. He couldn’t take his eyes off you. He didn’t want you to move further away. He looked at you, his gaze soft and shook his head. He wrapped his arm around your waist under the blanket and pulled you close again. 

“No, you’re not. It’s fine. You’re fine.” Your face felt like it was on fire and your cheeks turned pink. You bit your lip, an unconscious nervous tick and Jisung’s eyes darted towards them. You looked away unable to keep eye contact. Not when he was pulling you close, not when he was holding you, not when his fingertips were grazing the soft flesh of your waist where your shirt had ridden up a bit, not when he was looking at you like... THAT. 

“y/n?” Jisung’s voice was just above a whisper and even though you heard him call your name clearly you still couldn’t meet his gaze and you pretended to focus on the movie. He hooked his finger under your chin and tilted your head up towards him. Was this really happening?! Jisung slowly started to lean in closer. 

“Ji... I...” He only shook his head and focused on your lips as he closed in. You closed your eyes and you could feel Jisung’s warm breath fan across your face, the warmth of his lips hovering so closely to yours. You held your breath waiting to feel just how soft his lips really were. Finally. 

“Han-ah! Do you know whe-” Changbin came around the corner and stopped short when he saw you and Jisung jumping, catching you just about to kiss. 

“Oh! Shit! Sorry I didn’t mean-” Jisung backed up practically pushing you away when he realized Changbin was also in the room and he started stuttering. 

“You didn’t! I mean there was nothing... we’re watching movies.” You swallowed the lump that had quickly formed in your throat and scooted further away from Jisung which did not go unnoticed by either of the men. Changbin cleared his throat. 

“Yea, okay, well do you know where the protein shaker is? I wanted to hit the gym tonight.” Jisung popped up from the couch quickly. 

“Yea. It’s in the kitchen. I can show you; I need a drink anyway. Y/n? Do you need a drink or anything?” You had started focusing on the movie again trying to ignore the feeling in your chest. You glanced quickly at him and then back at the screen slightly shaking your head no. He bit his lip knowing your feelings were hurt by how he’d reacted when Changbin walked in, when you had just been so close to kissing, and he felt guilty. He didn’t want you to think it was because of you, it really wasn’t. When he came back, he’d explain.  

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” You could feel your eyes sting, the familiar burn of tears wanting to surface but you kept your eyes trained on the tv and nodded. Jisung and Changbin went off into the kitchen leaving you in the living room alone, where you took some deep breaths and composed yourself. Maybe it was best Changbin had interrupted. He’d just kept you from making an absolute fool of yourself and ruining your friendship. You went to take a drink of your soda only to find it empty. You kicked yourself for not just telling Jisung yes when he asked if you needed a drink, you pushed yourself up off the couch and headed towards the kitchen. Once Changbin and Jisung had gotten to the kitchen Changbin turned to him with an eyebrow quirked and his nose scrunched. 

“OOoookay what was THAT?!” Jisung played stupid like he had no idea what Changbin was talking about. He just wasn’t comfortable with the topic of him and you just yet, not when he wasn’t sure what to do about his feelings. It was awkward for him to admit to Changbin how he felt about you when he hadn’t even told you yet. It would be with any of the guys, he wasn’t completely sure why. 

“What?! What was what?!” You had made it just outside the of the kitchen when you heard Changbin scoff. 

“Y/n!? Come on... I didn’t think you were into girls like... her...” Jisung’s brows furrowed, he didn’t know what to think about what Changbin seemed to be insinuating. 

“Wh-what do you mean?” Changbin rolled his eyes. 

“You know... bigger.” It was just a word and it was trued but the way Changbin said bigger made you feel absolutely disgusting and the tears you had managed to fend off in the living room were fighting back with a vengeance. It had already been awkward and now Jisung felt embarrassed so he lied when Changbin insinuated again that Jisung was into you. 

“No, I mean what do you mean into? I’m not into y/n?” Changbin scoffed again. 

“Oh yea? What was all that I just walked in on then?” Jisung rubbed the back of his neck thinking of an excuse; but why? Why couldn’t he just say that he did like you? Why couldn’t he just say he WAS about to kiss you? What was so terrible about that? Why did he feel so awkward about it? Why did he feel like Changbin would laugh at him or make fun of if he told him? He just wanted to make a quick excuse, whatever would end the conversation. 

“Dude, she’s got a crush on me. She was all over me but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She isn’t really MY type...”Jisung was still and idiot. You thought the inflection Changbin had put on bigger made you feel like garbage, that was until you heard the way Jisung say you weren’t ‘his type’. You knew that but it didn’t make it any easier to hear. You hadn’t even realized the tears were trailing down your cheeks at that point. You didn’t need or want to hear anymore. You quietly grabbed your overnight bag, put on your slides and left. 

Jisung had heard the front door click closed. All the other guys were still out so it could have been any one of them coming in but when a couple of minutes had passed and no one had walked through the dorm Jisung walked back out into the living room to check on you and found it empty, the movie paused and the blanket you had been sharing in a heap on the floor in front of the couch. 

“y/n?” Jisung walked towards the bathroom to check and see if maybe you had gone in there. He knocked but the door creaked open and the bathroom was unoccupied. 

“y/n?” He decided to go back and check his room although it wasn’t likely you were there and Jisung could feel anxiety creeping up on him. He thought back about the look on your face when he’d left you in the living room. He opened the door to his room and as he had suspected, you weren’t in there. He made his way back through the living room on a mission and Changbin tried to stop him. 

“What’s up? What’s going on?” Jisung moved Changbin out of his way and walked towards the foyer, seeing your bag and shoes were gone. 

“FUCK.” Changbin walked up behind Jisung. 

“What? Fuck what?” Jisung spun around and Changbin could see the worry on his face. 

“You... you don’t think she heard us, do you?” Changbin’s face softened when he realized you were what Jisung was worried about. He gave him a sympathetic look and shrugged his shoulders. 

“FUCK!” Jisung slipped on his shoes and jacket and ran out the door hoping you weren’t too far ahead of him. It was the time of year that it was starting to get a bit chilly when the sun was down and tonight was the coldest it had been yet. It wasn’t freezing but definitely too cold for you to be walking off in what you were wearing, not to mention not safe. When Jisung got out to the street he looked up the sidewalk one way and then the other but didn’t see you. He ran in the direction of the closest bus stop and when he rounded the street corner, he saw you under the florescent lights of the bus stop enclosure. You had your big bag by your feet and had your arms wrapped around yourself, hugging your body, clearly trying to keep warm as you waited for the next bus on the line. Jisung ran up towards you. 

“y/n!? Hey! Why’d you take off? It’s fucking freezing out here, take my jacket. Let’s go back inside and finish the movies...” Jisung took his coat off and went to put it around you but you pulled away and tightened your grip on your arms. 

“No, I’m going home. Sorry I was all over you. I know I’m too... heavy... for that. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m just... I’m just gonna to go home.” You did your best not to choke on your words and Jisung winced at them knowing you weren’t only upset about how he’d reacted to Changbin but you had heard everything they had said in the kitchen as well. 

“y/n... I... please come back inside you shouldn’t be outside dressed like this.” Of course, he meant he didn’t want you catching cold only wearing shorts and a crop top. You looked away not wanting Jisung to see the fresh tears that were pricking your eyes. 

“I knew I shouldn’t wear stuff like this. I’m only going to bed when I get home so I’ll just deal with the stares on the bus.” He bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood and shook his head. 

“I... I didn’t mean it like that y/n... it’s cold out you’re gonna get sick. Please, come back to the dorm.” You finally looked at Jisung and he could see just how hurt you were, your tear rimmed eyes that were already getting puffy and red. That was the final straw, he was a complete asshole. 

“Just... go finish the movies without me Jisung. I’ll... I’ll see you the next movie night.” He sighed in defeat knowing you were definitely not going back to the dorm with him tonight. 

“Look at least take my coat so you don’t catch your death out here and let me wait with you until the bus shows up.” You let Jisung put his coat over your shoulders this time and huddled into the left-over body heat from Jisung having it on. 

“I’d really rather be alone right now Jisung.” You knew you weren‘t going to be able to get a hold of yourself and stop crying if he stayed. He shook his head, sliding a bit closer to you on the bench wanting to be close to you again and hoping some of his body heat might warm you. 

“It’s not safe for you to be out here at night alone.” You slid away putting distance between you again and looked at your feet like they were the most interesting thing in the world and Jisung’s chest felt tight. 

“I’ll text you when I’m home Ji. Just... please...” Your voice started to faulter and Jisung didn’t push any further. 

“Okay. Alright. Please let me know when you’re home safe?” You bit your lip and nodded still looking down as tears welled up in your eyes again. 

“Good night y/n.” Jisung wanted to lean over and hug you, give you a kiss on your forehead, SOMETHING to comfort you. Instead, he just gave a little nod and headed back to the dorm to give you the space you asked for. When Jisung walked back inside Changbin was on his way out to the gym. 

“Hey, everything cool?” Jisung looked distracted but then it registered that Changbin had spoken to him. 

“Oh, uh. I talked to her... she’s going home.” Changbin nodded and headed towards the door but stopped and turned back. 

“Look, Han-ah, there really isn’t anything between you and y/n?” Jisung really didn’t want to talk about it and didn’t want to deal with Changbin messing with him about it anymore but after you hearing him and Changbin in the kitchen and the way you looked at him down on that bus stop he was certain you’d never want anything to do with him, he’d be lucky if you still wanted to be his friend, so he shook his head. 

“No Bin, we’re just friends.” Changbin nodded and cleared his throat. 

“So, it would be okay if say, I wanted to ask her out on a date?” Jisung’s eyes flashed in Changbin’s direction instantly. 

“What?!” Changbin rubbed at the back of his neck and looked a little sheepish. 

“Well yea, I mean she’s really cute man and she’s nice and like I was saying in the kitchen before I know she’s not really YOUR type but you guys are super close so I just wanted to be sure you weren’t interested in her and see if... you know... if you were cool with me asking her out.” Jisung was at a complete loss for words as Changbin waited for a reply. He wondered how many times in one night he could think to himself that he was an idiot. He’d thought Changbin was being judgmental with his line of questioning in the kitchen but he was interested in you. Even if he had been being judgmental why, WHY did it matter?! It fucking didn’t. Because it didn’t change the way you made Jisung’s heart race just thinking about you. Changbin saw the look on Jisung’s face and knew the answer before he even spoke. 

“I... you’re right Changbin she isn’t like the type of girls I’ve dated in the past but...” Changbin wasn’t dumb and wasn’t one to pussy foot around so he just came out with it. 

“Look Jisungie just say you’re into her, it’s alright. I already caught you almost kissing; what's the big deal? She’s into you too. What are you holding back for?” He didn’t know what to say. 

“Sung, is it that maybe you’re a little worried about what people might be thinking if you date a thicker girl?” Jisung looked at Changbin and his eyes said it all. Changbin had hit the nail on the head. Jisung did think you were gorgeous and what other people thought shouldn’t even matter for that reason alone. He didn’t care what some stranger on the street thought of him and you being together but the guys, like Changbin, for some reason, he thought maybe some of the guys would give him a hard time. Of course, none of the guys had given him any reason to think they would tease him about such a thing because none of them would. Jisung had been in his own head too much. Realizing his feelings for you were deeper than friendship had really sent him through a loop. He was worried about the wrong things; he didn’t know how to act around anyone when it came to you and because of that he was epically fucking up. 

“Jisungie...” He focused on Changbin again. 

“Sort your shit out. If you care about her man it doesn’t matter. She deserves better than that Sung, and you know it.” Changbin slapped him on the shoulder, grabbed his gym bag and left to go work out. About twenty minutes after Changbin had left Jisung got a text notification. He sat up quickly in bed and grabbed his phone. 

You laid back in your bed trying to process the whirl of emotions you’d been put through that night. Hope, excitement, disappointment, pain, confusion. It was all too much to process in one night and there was no way you were going to be able to talk about it with Jisung right then, so you cut him off when he tried. Wasn’t he going to kiss you? Had you read that wrong? If he was going to; why would he if he didn’t like you like that? Pity? You hated all the thoughts racing through your head. You just wanted to forget and fall asleep, after a while your mind slowed down and you were finally able to get some rest.  

Jisung had gone all week not hearing from you. He sent a good morning text every day and then a meme or two with an accompanying caption that would say something like ‘laughed and thought of you’ or ‘remember that one time...’ All of his texts went unanswered and he understood why. He’d hurt you in the worst possible way. It didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try to make it right still. Friday morning, he finally got up the nerve to actually call you. He honestly thought you would ignore the call just like you had his texts but after three rings you answered. 

“Hey Jisung; what’s up?” You sounded drained. All the more reason for you to come over, relax and watch movies with him just like you usually would. 

 “Hey! Uh... I hadn’t heard from you at all this week so I just wanted to make sure we were still on for movie night.” You closed your eyes and chewed at your lip as the memories of the last week’s movie night came flooding back. You had been totally swamped at work, you really hadn’t had time to process a thing, which is why you had been ignoring Jisung’s texts. You had just pushed it down and carried on during the work week because you had to. Now here you were and the feelings were racing head on at you again and you didn’t know if you were ready still. 

“Ji... I... I don’t-” Before you could give any excuse as to why it wasn’t a good idea Jisung interjected. 

“I got comedies like you asked for and all the snacks already. You just have to come over. Will you... come over y/n?” You took a deep breath. Maybe if you just went and kept up with your old routine things would just go back to normal. You didn’t have to talk, just watch movies. 

“Yea, I’ll be over Ji. Is seven okay?” His smile was beaming on the other end of the line, hopeful about the fact that you agreed to come, that maybe, he might be able to fix his fuck up still, even if that meant in the end only being your friend. He would be fine with that. It would be more than he felt he deserved from you. 

“Seven is perfect y/n. I’ll see you then. Bye.” You gave a small hum. 

“Bye Ji, see you.” For you the day seemed to fly by and before you knew it, it was time for you to head to the dorm and you didn’t know if you were really ready to face Jisung again yet. For Jisung the day had seemed to drag on forever. He had finally been honest with himself and the guys and told them all how he felt about you. He asked if he could have the dorm for the night while he tried to smooth things over with you. The guys, of course, were all supportive and agreed to be gone for the night. Jisung frantically cleaned the dorm and staged the living room carefully for your movie night. Snacks spread out, blankets to snuggle up in, all typical staples of your movie nights. Not typical was the dim lighting from candles he’d put out around the room and the lavender oil defusing that Felix had set up for him before he left.  

Just a bit after seven Jisung heard your knock at the door. He opened it and greeted you with his wide toothy smile, the one that reached his eyes and made them scrunch up. If you were exhausted from the work week he couldn’t tell, you looked amazing. He couldn’t help but notice your attire this week was back to the usual pair of sweat pants, t-shirt and a big hoodie over that. Jisung’s smile faltered a bit but he caught himself and moved out of the way to invite you in. 

“Hey! Come on in!” You gave Jisung a small smile and walked in towards the living room. Jisung closed the door and followed closely behind.  

“Do you want me to take your bag or hoodie?” You shook your head. 

“Didn’t bring an overnight bag, I can’t stay this week, and I think I’ll keep my hoodie on for now, I’m kind of chilly. Thanks though.” You looked around the living room as you walked in and noticed the few candles Jisung had lit and could smell the fresh scent of lavender. He walked past you and sat down on the couch grabbing the remote and patting the cushions for you to join him. You swallowed the anxiety and tension you were feeling down and walked over to the couch. Jisung had lifted the blanket he’d thrown over himself so you could sit by him and share, like you usually did, but you opted to sit on the far end of the couch with your feet tucked up underneath you and your knees pulled into your hoodie. You missed the disappointed expression on Jisung’s face because you were trying to look anywhere but at him. Just from the time he had opened the door, your heart had wretched every time you did look at him. He set the blanket back down, making like he’d just been adjusting it a bit and started the first movie of the night, unsure if he was going to be able to focus on the screen at all with the elephant in the room with the two of you. 

You both had managed to get through the first movie. You had chuckled a time or two and even though it wasn’t your usual boisterous laugh Jisung was glad to see, somewhat, of a smile on your face. You were still curled up into yourself on the far end of the couch though and you hadn’t eaten anything. Jisung went to put in the next movie. 

“Don’t let me eat all the snacks y/n. Make sure you get some before I inhale it all and really look like a quokka.” Jisung smiled and puffed his already chubby cheeks out further trying to make you laugh but you just smiled at him weakly. 

“I’m okay Jisung I already had dinner and it probably wouldn’t hurt for me to lay off the snacks a bit.” Like an arrow straight through his heart. His idiocy made you feel this way. That there was something wrong with you that needed changed. He had let his own insecurities about your relationship bleed onto you instead of dealing with his own shit. He fucked up he knew it. He should have been trying to talk things out with you instead of ignoring it. He was just joking around acting like nothing had happened, like he didn’t hurt you. He was trying to make you laugh, but it wasn’t time for his antics, this conversation couldn’t be put off any longer when you were saying things like that about yourself. He couldn’t let it continue. 

“Don’t say that! There’s nothing wrong with the way you look!” You looked up at him a bit surprised by his sudden outburst but your eyes faltered and were cast down again just as quickly. 

“You can say that all you want but it doesn’t change the fact that I need to lose weight. No one wants to date the funny fat girl...” Your voice started to quiver a bit and trailed off, the last thing you said was almost inaudible. 

“... least of all you.” It was so quiet Jisung almost didn’t hear it. 

“What?!” You looked up at him like you’d been caught with your hand in the cookie jar. You hadn’t even meant for it to come out at all let alone for him to hear it. Oh well, what did it matter now. Your feelings had already ruined everything anyway. Might as well lay it all out on the table. 

“Well, it’s true...” You whispered. Jisung sat closer to you on the couch and you shrunk down into your hoodie as you tried to make yourself smaller. 

“y/n. No, it’s not.” Who was he to say that to you when he knew you had heard him. Your voice came out with a bit more venom than before. 

“Jisung, I HEARD you and Changbin. The way you both talked about me...” Jisung went to interrupt you but you put your hand up, stopping him. 

“Let me finish!” He nodded and shut his mouth. 

“When I heard the way you two talked about me, the way he described me, how you said you felt about me, I was disgusted with myself.” You choked back tears and Jisung hated himself at that very moment. If he were any other guy and you had told him about this situation happening, he’d find him and kick his own ass. 

“That night I had finally worked up the courage to wear those pajamas. I’d had looked at them for 3 months before getting the nerve up to wear them in front of you. I hoped that maybe you might see me in them and think, ‘wow y/n is actually kind of pretty’ maybe even sexy. Then we were on the couch and I don’t know I guess I was delusional and thought you were going to kiss me, I read it wrong, obviously. I’ve seen the girls you take home from the club Ji, I’m two of them easily so I wasn’t shocked you weren’t into me but then I heard you in the kitchen. When I looked down at what I was wearing... if I hadn’t been crying Ji, I would have laughed for actually letting myself think for even one second that someone like YOU would ever want to be with someone like me. That YOU would ever think I was pretty or sexy for that matter.” You pulled your knees from your hoodie and stood up as the tears started to fall from your eyes.  

“I... I can’t Ji... I... I have to go. This was a mistake.” You went to go for the door but Jisung grabbed your wrist and stopped you.  

“Wait PLEASE!” You paused in place but didn’t turn to face him. You couldn’t. 

“I’m so sorry. Please, I’m sorry I said any of that stupid stuff, especially since I didn’t mean a single word of it! I... I WAS going to kiss you and then Changbin walked in and I got nervous it had nothing to do with you or how you look I swear. Then when Changbin asked about you in the kitchen I thought he was giving me a hard time about how you weren’t my ‘type’ and then I was embarrassed but it turned out he was asking about me and you because HE wanted to ask you out and he wanted to make sure you and I didn’t' have a ‘thing’ going on. He told me when I came back in that night and I told him... I told him that I did have feelings for you, that I cared about you... more than just a friend.” Now you turned and faced Jisung, your eyes were narrowed but still filled with tears and your voice was weak when you spoke. 

“You AND Changbin have feelings for me? Well, you both have a very shitty way of showing you care about me. Be sure to let Changbin know too.” You pulled your wrist from Jisung’s grip and turned to go walk towards the door again. Jisung ran to stand in front of you, blocking the way, panicked that if you walked out, he may never see you again. 

“Wait! Wait, wait! Don’t go! I... I think I'm in love with you y/n...” You stopped, turned and suddenly slapped Jisung in the face. You didn’t want to hurt him but you just snapped. 

“How dare you! How dare you talk about me behind my back the way you did, make me feel like I was desperate and crazy, like I was undesirable, now you tell me you only said those things because you were embarrassed by me! Embarrassed for one of your friends to think you were interested in a fat girl! Then you have the AUDACITY to say you’re in love with me! Fuck you Jisung!” You started beating against his chest with your fists as you sobbed and cussed at him. 

“Fuck you! FUCK YOU!” He grabbed your arms trying to calm you down. When you realized he was stronger and easily holding you back from hitting him further you did the only thing you could do and fell into his chest, hysterically crying. Jisung wrapped his arms around you and you both sank to the floor. He held you and rocked you, softly humming until you were letting out little gasps and hiccups trying to get control of yourself. 

“No one has ever hurt me like you did Jisung.” He flinched at your words. Knowing that hit him harder than the slap in the face. 

“I won’t ever be able to say how sorry I am and sorry’s will never be enough but if you’ll give me a chance, I promise I’ll never hurt you like that again. If you give me a chance y/n I’ll love you like no one ever has before.” Jisung’s hands cupped your face and he looked into your eyes with so much conviction it was impossible not to believe him. 

“Jisung... I...” More tears gathered and fell and Jisung swept them away with his thumbs. 

“Please.” He pleaded with you and you gave him a small nod, then he leaned in and softly kissed your lips. It was so warm, inviting, pulling you in for more but instead you pushed against Jisung’s chest and he pulled back and looked at you. Your eyes flicked between his as you searched for any uncertainty but you only saw love. You gripped his shirt where your hand had been resting on his chest and crashed your lips back into his. The kiss was so heated this time, so needy, you had wanted Jisung for so long and now, now you had him. You straddled his lap but didn’t sit your weight on him as your hands cupped his soft cheeks and you continued to make out. Jisung’s arms wrapped around your midsection pulling you close, your chests pressed together. He wanted you as close to him as possible. He pulled away from the kiss and pressed his forehead against yours, his eyes closed tightly, out of breath from kissing you. 

“Jagi, I want feel every bit of you, want to make you to feel as beautiful as you are...” Jisung toyed with the hem of your hoodie and t-shirt silently asking permission to remove them. You lifted your arms and allowed him to, although you were extremely nervous to be in only your bra in front of him, even in the dim lighting. Jisung lifted the shirt and hoodie over your head and tossed it aside taking in the expanse of skin in front of him. He wanted to touch you everywhere but instead his hands gripped your hips and eased you down so that your full weight was on his lap and your clothed heat was pressing into his hard on. When you opened your mouth to protest putting your weight on him Jisung silenced you with his lips. He gripped your soft hips tighter, fingers digging in to your plush skin as he helped move you back and forth over his erection, finding a rhythm. You pulled away from the kiss panting as Jisung started to meet your grinding with his own. 

“J-Ji... Ji... I don’t want to hurt you...” He stopped, removing his hands from your hips and holding your face so that you couldn’t help but look him in the eyes. 

“Does it look like you’re hurting me?” You bit your lip and softly shook your head no in his hands. Jisung grabbed one of your wrists guiding your hand to grab his hard on underneath you. His eyes closed and his mouth fell open, letting out a breath when you gently squeezed. 

“Does it feel like you’re hurting me?” You were breathless still as you shook your head again. 

“No Jisungie... it feels... good.” You finally breathed out the word. 

“It does feel good jagi. YOU feel good. God keep riding me please!” His hands grazed a soft trail down your full breasts back to your hips urging you to continue your movements. You wrapped your arms around Jisung’s neck and rocked your hips over him again, this time with more vigor and the broken moan that fell from his mouth made you soak your panties. You gripped his broad shoulders and rotated your hips grinding against him with more confidence the more he moaned and panted. 

“Fuck! I’m gonna cum in my pants if you don’t stop jagiya...” You stopped your movements but cupped Jisung’s soft cheeks and continued your assault on his lips. You sat there lazily making out, tongues sliding in and out of each other's mouths, teeth tugging at lips, hands exploring, caressing, until Jisung was forced to pull away to take a breath. His hands ran up your arms and he dragged his fingertips gently back down causing goose bumps to rise in their wake. You looked into his eyes and him into yours, both of you breathless, trying to read the other’s mind. 

“Jisung?” He pressed his lips together giving you a nod and a small smile as his hands found their way to your hips again. 

“Will you... can we...” You knew you wanted Jisung and even though you were on his lap, in your bra and had been kissing and touching each other for quite a bit at that point, you were still self-conscious and scared to ask him what you wanted. You let out a frustrated huff of air, closing your eyes and Jisung cupped your jaw and ran his thumb along your cheek and you looked at him again. 

“Take a deep breath. Whatever you want, whatever you want to ask, it’s okay.” You closed your eyes and took a deep calming breath like Jisung had told you to. 

“Please take me to bed? I want you Jisung, I need you.” You looked down at where you gripped his shirt tightly as you told him exactly what you had been so scared of saying. Jisung dipped his head down catching your eyes in his again. 

“Jagi...” Jisung’s gaze darkened suddenly and before you could think he had his arms wrapped around you and shifted you both so that he was now slotted between your legs laying over you kissing down your neck reaching for the waist band of your pants.  

“Wish you’d worn those shorts again...” He peppered more kisses across your throat and took the fleshy part of your ear lightly between his teeth. 

“You were so fucking SEXY in them I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.” You pushed against Jisung’s chest stopping him then slowly slid out from under him and stood up. He was confused at first, worried maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned the week before but before he could stress out you pushed your sweats down and stood there in your bra and panties. Jisung stood up quickly and took in every inch of skin you were offering up to him. All of it soft, plush, curvy and so inviting. You beckoned him over to you. 

“Come here, touch me Ji.” He didn’t need to be told twice. He invaded your proximity immediately, his hands running along your smooth skin pulling you closer. 

“Fuck you’re gorgeous, don’t know what to touch and kiss first.” Your skin flushed at Jisung’s words and you felt your core throb for him. Jisung’s lips ghosted over your neck before raking his teeth across your collar bone and pulling the prettiest moan he’d ever heard from you. He grabbed your hips and pulled them forward into his. With only his clothes creating a barrier between you, aside from the thin, lacey, boy shorts you were wearing, you could perfectly feel his hard cock pressed against you. Jisung’s eyes closed and his head tilted back a little, he bit his lip and hummed enjoying the warmth of your soft body against his and then he looked at you with a mischievous smile.  

“Come to bed jagi...” He kissed your neck again before pulling you, leading you towards his room, towards his bed. You could feel your nerves starting to come back once you walked into his bedroom. It was still dimly lit but it was brighter than the living room and you felt a bit more exposed and self-conscious. You pulled your hand away from Jisung and went to cover yourself. Jisung grabbed your hand back and pulled you close wrapping his arms around you and pressing his forehead against yours.  

“No. Please? Don’t? You’re perfect,” He peppered soft kisses over your shoulder trying to comfort you and you let out a soft sigh. Jisung pulled away and pulled his shirt off exposing his broad chest and soft tan skin. You would think him evening the playing field by removing some of his clothes would make you feel less nervous but it only made it worse and you went to cover up again. Your hands were slightly shaking when Jisung pulled you close again, his warm skin pressed against yours and you could feel his breath on your neck as he whispered in your ear. 

“You’re so fucking sexy. Please don’t hide.” He pressed soft kisses down the side of your neck again. You could feel tears pricking your eyes and you were so mad at yourself that you were about to ruin this moment. You wanted to believe what he said but you just didn’t feel sexy. Jisung could feel that you were still tense, he pulled back and saw your tears. 

“y/n... what’s wrong? Why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?” You shook your head no. You scoffed at yourself and wiped your tears away. 

“No Ji, it’s okay really, I just need a second. I’m feeling...” You looked down at yourself and Jisung knew. 

“Hey, take a second, take ten, it’s alright jagyia.” He rubbed soft circles on your hips with his thumbs and it started to help your heart rate slow down a bit. When you looked at Jisung again his face was so soft and laced with concern. You leaned in and pressed your lips against his, your fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck. It was soft at first but as you felt his skin under your fingertips it became more frenzied. Both of you gripping, squeezing, roaming, moaning into the other’s kiss. You felt a sudden rush of bravery and reached into Jisung’s sweat pants grabbing his dick firmly and stroking it like you had done it to him a hundred times before. It was gentle but not too gentle and the way your thumb brushed that sweet spot under the head of his cock was sinful as you stroked him just fast enough to make him want more.  

“FUCK y/n! Yes, JUST like that.” Jisung lead you towards the bed as you continued to stroke him. When the back of your knees hit the bed you removed your hand from his pants and fell back on it. Your hair spread around your head like an angel and your chest was rising up and down rapidly as you laid there breathless from your desire. Jisung slid his sweats and briefs down at once, his cock springing free and standing firm. It was long and not too thick and curved up. He was gorgeous so it wasn’t surprising that he had a pretty cock too. Feeling it in your hand had been one thing but seeing it now, your mouth watered for him. 

“Jisungie...” You whined for him and he came to kneel between your legs on the bed. His hands traveled up your sides their destination being your breasts which he cupped firmly before grabbing the center of your bra with both hands and ripping it open, your big breasts bouncing free as you gasped in shock. 

“HAN JISUNG, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH A BRA LIKE THAT COSTS!?” Jisung leaned down sucking a nipple into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue and teeth until it was perked and hard effectively stopping your complaint. He let go and smirked at you. 

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it. I’ll buy you a new one jagi.” His lips wrapped around your other nipple and he sucked on it gently as you melted underneath him. Jisung kissed his way down your body until his face hovered right over your clothed core. He gripped your panties and looked up at you. 

“These expensive too?” He said quirking his eyebrow at you. You rolled your eyes at him playfully. 

“YES. And my favorite pair so DON’T rip them.” Jisung pouted and then gently slid your panties over your ass and down your legs.  When his face was lined up with your naked, dripping, cunt you started to feel your heartbeat pick up. Before you had a chance to let your nerves get the best of you again, Jisung spread your lower lips open and licked a broad stripe from your entrance to your clit, sucking the bundle of nerves between his pouty lips and drinking in every bit of you. Your hands gripped Jisung’s hair as he licked, kissed, and sucked on your clit. He was messy but with finesse and between your arousal and his spit and drool you were certain there had to be a puddle forming underneath you. 

“Ji... oh my god! I’m... I’m...” He hummed in satisfaction that he had you unable to form words and the vibrations from his mouth against your pussy sent you reeling into a mind-blowing orgasm. Your thick thighs clamped around Jisung’s head as you thrust your hips up grinding against his tongue and face. Only when your body relaxed back onto the bed and you were a shuddering mess did Jisung stop kitten licking your sensitive clit. He climbed on top of you and started kissing you, first all over your face, then by your ear, down your neck and shoulder. His lips left your skin and he looked at you for a second thinking about how he’d almost fucked everything with you up, about how he could have lost you but now here you were underneath him panting and glowing still trying to recover from your orgasm. When you opened your eyes and looked at Jisung he leaned down and softly kissed your lips as he slowly pushed the tip of his cock inside you. 

“Fuck! So wet, so soft!” The further Jisung sunk into the faster your soft puffs of breath came out and when he bottomed out inside you, you gasped. He looked at you quickly. 

“Are you okay jagi?” You nodded biting your bottom lip overwhelmed by the feeling of him inside you after just coming down from your first orgasm. Jisung rolled his hips testing to see your reaction. Your eyes went wide and you gasped again.  

“Jisungie! Oh, my fucking god! You feel so good inside me! Please don’t stop!” Jisung started giving you steady hip rolls fucking you slow and deep. He thrust his cock deeper into you, his pelvic bone adding pressure to your clit as well. Your body was buzzing with excitement and your fingers and toes felt like they were going numb from the pleasure. The sound of your drenched cunt and Jisung’s hips slapping against your soft thighs egged him on and he started to fuck you faster, pulling out further and pushing back into you harder each time. 

“FUCK jagiya you take my cock so well beautiful. Look at how well we fit together jagi FUCK!” You looked down where Jisung’s dick, coated in your juices, disappeared inside you and clenched at the sight. 

“Fucking perfect just like I said baby, your pussy was made for me, this is mine now.” Jisung spit on two of his fingers and started rubbing your clit quickly pushing you towards your next orgasm that much faster. 

“God YES Ji please... please... please...” Jisung smiled down at you, sweat dripping down his face. 

“Please what gorgeous, what do you want?” You gripped Jisung’s hips, his soft skin warm under your touch. 

“PLEASE FUCK ME HARDER! MAKE ME CUM JI! FILL ME UP JAGIYA!” Jisung lost his mind hearing you say that, call him that. He gripped your hips and started railing you as hard and fast as his body would let him. The sweat from his face and hair dripping down his chest and back now his teeth clamped onto his bottom lip. 

“You’re gonna let me cum in this tight pussy right jagi? You’re gonna take my load and let me mark what’s mine yea?” You moaned out your approval. 

“FUCK yes! Ji fuck fuck! Give me your cum fucking make me yours Jisung... I’m yours!” You came hard around his cock as he continued to drive into you chasing his own climax and prolonging yours. Your body rolled and your hips chased his as you rode out the best orgasm you’d had in your life. 

“FUCKING beautiful! God you’re gorgeous when you cum y/n... FUCK I can feel your pussy quivering on my fucking cock, you feel so good jagi!” You started coming down from the high of your orgasm, body still buzzing like a million bees lived under your skin and you started begging Jisung. 

“Fuck Ji you’re gonna give it to me right? Fuck I want it so bad! Please cum inside me please! It's gonna be a big load yea? Fuck I hope it’s a big load jagiya, need you to fill me up good, need to feel you dripping from my cunt.” Jisung’s head tilted back as his hips stuttered and he unloaded inside you. 

“FUUUUUuuuuuck jagiya FUCK! Fucking take it! You wanted a big load baby there you go! FUCK! Take my cum like a good girl yea?” Jisung stayed buried inside you until his cock started getting soft. When he pulled out a huge trail of cum came dripping out after. Jisung took two fingers and scooped up the mixture of yours and his cum and sucked them clean. 

“Fuck beautiful...” He ran his fingers through the trail of cum still leaking from your hole collecting more of your mingled juices and he brought his fingers to your lips this time. 

“Taste.” You opened your mouth and sucked on his fingers, swirling your tongue around his digits and humming in delight. 

“Good yea jagi? We taste perfect together.” Jisung scooped the remaining cum dripping from you up and pushed it back inside you pumping his fingers slowly in and out. 

“J-Jisung... I... I ca-” 

“One more jagiya, just one more, you can give me one more yea?” Jisung’s fingers picked up speed and he fucked them into you harder, curling them and easily finding your g-spot. 

“FUCK JI! I... I... FUCK JI!” That was exactly what he was looking for, he plunged his fingers deep into you only bringing them out a millimeter or so and pushing them deeper, then leaned down and sucked your cum glazed clit into his mouth, slurping on you as he fucked your hole hard with his fingers, the cum he filled you with coating them and dripping down your asshole, causing you to clench around his fingers that seemed to find that delicious spot inside you with precision. 

“Squirt for me jagiya, fucking cum on me baby.” He whispered against your pussy before diving back in and devouring your cunt like a ravenous animal. Between Jisung’s fingers and mouth the taut string inside you snapped. 

“MMmm FUCK FUCK JI OH FUCK I’M COMING I'M COMING!” You had never squirted before in your life but suddenly you were soaking Jisung and his sheets. His fingers, still deep inside you, gently massaging your g-spot, giving your clit tiny little licks with the tip of his tongue as you finished coming on his face and started twitching and shuddering from the overstimulation. When Jisung removed his fingers and sat up you saw your cum dripping from his chin and glistening on his chest. 

“Oh my god, did I?!” Jisung smirked and leaned over kissing your lips softly before giggling against them. 

“Cum all over me? Yea baby you did and it was sexy as fuck!” You blushed and tried to push him off as he buried his face in the crook of your neck and tickled you with his kisses and love bites. You pushed harder and he finally sat up, he got very quiet and looked down at you softly smiling. The longer Jisung’s eyes roamed your naked body the more uncomfortable you got. Now that you weren’t caught up in the heat of the moment and lost in the pleasure Jisung had been giving you, the little negative voices in your head came back to put you back in your place. You grabbed a throw blanket he had at the foot of his bed and went to cover up feeling far to exposed in the moment. Jisung thought you looked so beautiful; you didn’t need to cover up. He wished he had never said the things he did, that he’d never made an insecurity you already had worse. He had looked at you laying there your full breasts, the soft tummy rolls, the plush love handles just over your hips, your thick ass and thighs, FUCK you were perfect but when you saw him staring at you like that you only felt overwhelmed by your doubts about your body. 

“Why don’t we go take a shower yea? Get cleaned up and go to bed?” Jisung’s suggestion sounded so tempting, a nice hot shower after getting fucked senseless but it also meant standing under florescent bathroom lights where he’d be able to see ever stretch mark, every dimple of cellulite, every flaw. He could see you having an internal battle with yourself over it. 

“Hey...” You looked up at him like you’d been startled from your thoughts. 

“I know whatever is going on in that gorgeous noggin of yours is my fault right now...” You pressed your lips together. 

“Jisung no...” He shook his head and put up his hand stopping you. 

“y/n yes, it is. It might have been something you were self-conscious about already but I only threw fuel on the fire. I PROMISE I will do whatever I can to prove to you that you are a beautiful human being, just the way you are. I PROMISE I’ll always make sure to tell you how absolutely stunning you are and how you are leaps and bounds out of my league and yet for some reason you slum it for me.” He winked at you and you laughed. 

“So... shower?” He suggested again. You smiled and nodded. Jisung stood up and offered his hand to help you off the bed. You headed to the bathroom with Jisung fused to your back kissing whatever his lips could find. 

“You know if we fuck in the shower I could cum all over these and clean you right up.” His hand squeezed your breasts tightly before roaming over your tummy, your hips and ass. You were barely up the hall and Jisung was already trying to slide his fingers through your folds again. When you got to the bathroom door you turned and pecked his lips. 

“That’s true jagiya, or you could cum down my throat and I could just swallow it and have no mess at all.” You licked up his lips to the tip of his nose and went into the bathroom as he stood there speechless for a moment before chasing after you.

Please do not repost or translate any of my works. My blog and stories are NSFW and 18+ ONLY! Minors, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked!

@ughbehavior @chansynie @jquellen27 @caroline-ds-world

[mykoreanlove]

the angst bundle

for when you wanna be in your feels, tissues may be recommended

CHAN - 솔직한 이야기 // an honest talk // construed // 💔 // comparisons

CHANGBIN - we can't date

MINHO - disconnected. // you get what you are 💔 // leave you loving you // for good

HYUNJIN - rotten fruit // the ex-fling // dating ban // DOPAMINE.

FELIX - AVOIDANT // the voice within

HAN - scarred // Marilyn. // sofa sessions

I.N - I may be burnt, but I still carry warmth within, right?

JACKSON - on being real // conversations with love // AM hours. // you're sick

NAMJOON - dying three times over // say you forgive me

SUGA - Tsundere ツンデレ

V - pushpull // for us

JIMIN - city lights

JUNGKOOK - to you, lil kookie

TAEMIN - cheating

[jinnie-ret]

atlantis

han jisung x reader | end of the world au

genre: angst, humour(?), fluff

content warnings: swearing, suggestive jokes, natural disaster, death

word count: 5.8k

summary: their fate lies in the hands of a prophecy that could save their lives.

HAN JISUNG MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Welcome back to the 1 o'clock news. We wish we had a more hopeful message today today but the waters are rising, electricity is compromised and people are already dying. We ask you to remain vigilant, take care of yourselves and stay close to your loved ones. The record high tidal waves are en route to South Korea and our beautiful city Seoul and people are saying we could be living in what will be the new Atlantis. It is estimated we have 10 hours left but-"

"Too depressing," Y/N sighed as she flicked through channels. She already knew they didn't have much time left, so waiting and hoping for a news report to tell them the opposite was only hurting her soul even more. There was no time to say goodbye to loved ones, having to prioritise using their remaining electricity towards kitchen appliances to make sure they could eat, their mobiles having already run out of charge and they didn't have a landline.

Oh yeah, they.

Y/N lived with her best friend Jisung in an apartment for the last couple of years, and those years held some of her favourite moments and memories and to think those could all be washed away in the events of the end of the world... it wasn't a nice feeling, not at all. She constantly felt sick to her stomach knowing the impending doom they'd have to face.

"There is a prophecy! It could be one or two of you out there that could save the world!" a whimsical looking man with thick lens glasses perched upon his nose spoke into the camera.

"Oh they're talking nonsense!" Y/N exclaimed, sitting up to grab the TV control again and switch the channel just as Jisung ran in with a bowl of cereal.

"No, no, no, leave it on!" he spoke through a mouthful of cornflakes as he jumped onto the sofa next to her, some milk spilling over but neither of them cared. Trivial issues like that didn't matter anymore.

"Ji, there's no point now anyways, the picture is staticy and the audio is all-" Y/N rolled her eyes before Jisung muffled her mouth with his hand to shut her up, and they both listened to the crazy man on the TV.

"One thing will unlock survival. The key is in a place where many people have come and gone. It lies in a enclosed area that only the bravest can enter. Only those who are worthy can wield it's power and open the gate that knows all, that all know."

"A key?! What could that mean?" Jisung sat forwards intrigued, finally removing his hand from Y/N's mouth who shoved him away from her.

"The prophecy didn't say that we specifically had to find it..." Y/N stood up, taking Jisung's finished bowl of cereal into the kitchen and placing it in the sink.

"Come on, if we can really do something to help, we've got to try," Jisung followed her into the kitchen, tugging her away from the sink to make sure her attention was on him. He bent ever so slightly to make sure she was looking right at him.

"Ji, I don't know about this..." Y/N's seemingly bored and nonchalant manner had quickly reverted to her nervous side.

"And if I'm gonna do this with anyone I'd want it to be you!" Jisung grabbed her arms now, hoping she'd brush away her worries for just once and do this with him, for him, for them.

"Aw Jisung... I can already feel my heart melting," Y/N in fact did brush away her worries, at face value at least, and grinned sarcastically at her best friend. She skipped away from him, gliding gracefully with her hand on her heart before jumping and flopping onto the sofa.

"Gosh, I've melted the Ice Caps! That's the last thing we need with the world flooding..." Jisung dramatically gasped, grabbing a piece of paper with a pen and whacking it on Y/N's head as he sat next to her. She of course, did retaliate with slap on the leg.

"Jisung, shut up."

It almost felt like an endless cycle. Hope, worry, denial, repeat. Y/N hated broadcasts like the one they had just listened to. Anyone would be a fool to actually listen to the words of a so called prophecy and even think of attempting to save the world.

"Right we need to think... enclosed area, only the bravest can enter?" Jisung hummed, tapping the pen against his chin before scribbling down the jist of what had been said on TV.

And that was her fool right there. She loved him for it though.

"Jisung, come on," Y/N sighed, going to grab the notebook away from him but he held it tightly to his chest, wiggling in his seat to face her and sit closer.

"No you come on, work with me here, think, please," Jisung stood his ground firmly, brows furrowed in what could only be described as a pleading, Puss-in-Boots-like expression.

"Fine, fine... It's probably that club down town, what's it called? HooBAEs? No one would dare enter there, awful place, wouldn't mind if it got completely flooded," Y/N thought out loud stretching out and resting her legs on Jisung's lap, who didn't react apart from resting his notes on her calves without batting an eyelid.

"Yeah yeah! That place is horrible, probably is at least halfway ruined by now," he nodded in thought, scribbling down the name of the club.

"Halfway? It was dreadful from the start, remember that time someone pissed onto the floor in the middle of the night," Y/N reminded Jisung of the unfortunate time thet decided to go out on a Saturday night. Never again. They both felt like they much preferred a night in anyways watching crappy movies and making fun of the storylines.

"Oh yeah that was grim..." Jisung nodded, wrinkling his nose just thinking of it.

"Yeah horrible..." Y/N trailed off.

"Y/Nnie you've driven us off topic again."

"No I haven't!"

"What, you think we should try HooBAEs? We'll probably get a disease I don't wanna even think about if we go there..." Jisung shuddered, wishing his best friend never suggested the idea. The end of the world couldn't rely on a key being hidden in such a dodgy establishment, could it?

"Remember the prophecy, Ji, only brave people would go there. As much as I hate to say it, we should go there. We've ventured there before, why not now?" Y/N lifted herself up from the sofa and grabbed the keys to her apartment, stuffing it into the pocket of her hoodie.

"Not the worst idea... might need to put our wellies on though, the water is filling up," Jisung waved her over to stand beside him and observe the outside. She didn't even notice him move towards the tall glass windows of the apartment, but it was the smart thing to do, considering how high the water had already risen.

"Actually, we might need a boat," Y/N breathed out in sudden realisation as she joined his side. The water had risen to around half the height of your average door, from what she tell by squinting at the buildings across the road.

"Shit, you're right," Jisung groaned, hitting his head against her shoulder. Y/N patted his head sympathetically as they both prepared themselves, physically and mentally, to try and save the world.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The pair of courageous best friends were quite the sight to see. As luck would have it, there was a leisure equipment shop across the road, having all sorts of things they could steal because no one was going to work their job when the building was half flooded and when they knew it would soon be the end for everyone. Fortunately, the canoes were quite near the front of the shop, and they, well, Y/N, hauled it off of the rack that was still standing somehow. Jisung was too distracted by the idea of getting an inflatable pool.

"Jisung we don't need a pool! Just jump out this canoe if you want to swim!" you had huffed as you dragged the canoe towards the door as you waded through the water.

"I didn't wanna swim! I wanted to just float around," Jisung moped, doing a weird awkward jog through the murky water trying to catch up to you. The one where the force of the water weighs your legs down so you have to almost jump out slightly each time you take a step.

Once you both made it out of the shop you both clambered into the boat, Jisung taking the back and you sitting at the front. There were of course a few failed attempts of rowing down the road, neither of them having used an oar before. Did it tip over? Yes, it did. But that was because they both started rowing on the same side.

Eventually they did arrive along the top of the street of the notoriously grim club, HooBAEs.

"How do we park a canoe, shit," Y/N wobbled as she stood up, confronted with an odd dilemma she never thought she would be.

"Girl... never mind," Jisung side eyed her in pure disbelief before grabbing her to sit down, it was like she was trying to be a gondolier.

Jisung achieved their goal of not losing their transport, and helped Y/N out after he caught his own balance. He couldn't control the blood from rushing to his cheeks when she didn't let go of his hand, and she even readjusted the grip she held on his hand as they walked inside the club venue.

"Why would there even be a key here? A special key in a prophecy here? Plus it's not exactly an enclosed area..." Jisung gagged at the stench of the place. Bar stools were floating around, turned onto their backs like many people were the last time they both went on a night out here. Guess the pros are of the world ending is that the slippery floor means nothing now that the water is up to just underneath their waists. Wood from the pillars and bar had rotted, splinters of the material floating around in what now looked like a grotty swamp of cheap furniture. And that wasn't the only thing that was floating around.

"Is that a condom?" Y/N shrieked at the plastic floating towards them both, tugging Jisung back, her feet colliding with old music equipment that had long ago blown it's fuse.

"Focus on the issue at hand, Y/N!" Jisung chastised her, yet still allowing her to pull him back with her, not wanting to let go of her hand. Oh, he was so whipped. It was something about the way she matched his energy perfectly, his twin flame, you could say. She never failed to put a smile on his face, those plump lips that he wish he could just-

"Ew it's a used one! Quick, go! Move, Ji!" Y/N squealed in disgust and tugged his hand harder, essentially breaking him out of his thoughts. And with that they left the decrepid place, relieved at the same time.

Being the gentleman he was, Jisung helped her back into the canoe first, and as they rowed away, he gasped in excitement and suddenly started rocking the boat.

"Dude stop this isn't the time for messing around! I don't wanna fall in again," Y/N exclaimed, letting out small murmurs of discomfort and annoyance as she tried to stay sat down.

"Y/Nnie I know it! I know where it could be!" Jisung shouted feeling elated, having his lightbulb moment.

"Enlighten me, oof-" Y/N's voice wobbled as her body did too, before she ended up falling backwards into his lap, the boy automatically latching onto her shoulders to try and stabilise her but they were both already red as tomatoes.

"Umm sorry I-" Jisung stuttered, not knowing whether to let go of Y/N because realistically he wished that such an interaction would never be awkward between them and that he had confessed how he truly felt a long time ago.

"It's fine just umm tell me where you're thinking so we can steer this ship!" Y/N cringed as she spoke through a strained smile, taking her original spot once again. She tried to forget that just happened, because she never thought it would. She never imagined that her heart would race at the sight of his smile, blush from his teasing words or that her nights would be filled with thoughts of what would happen if they ever were a 'thing'. But here they were.

"Please don't say that again."

"Yeah you're right, it was ummm... yeah."

"I mean, I saw where you were going with it but it just didn't really hit-"

"Ok fine! Just tell me where you think the key is! I'm very embarrassed now!" Y/N stammered, staring straight ahead as her hands gripped the sides of the 'ship' as she wished she could rewind and never say what she did. If her thoughts were gonna take her down the route of a 'thing' ever blossoming between them, she could watch that sapling die right in front of her very eyes.

"That big house, on the outskirts of town..." Jisung trailed off, not quite remembering the name of the mansion he was imagining.

"Oddinary House?" Y/N offered weakly, now feeling composed enough to turn back around. As she did so she made sure the oars were resting in place.

"Yes that's the place! All you hear about that place are horror stories!" Jisung nodded enthusiastically when Y/N's words sparked his memory.

"And you think you're brave enough to go there?" she laughed, looking off to the side.

"Hey, this is for the prophecy! We could save this place! This city! Our friends!" Jisung insisted, desperation apparent as he shifted to look right into Y/N's eyes, the jostling causing water to ripple around them.

"Ji... Is it worth it for the prophecy?" Y/N sighed, her minds going off in all different directions, wondering if it was worth it.

"Yes! A chance at life! We need to do this, Y/Nnie," Jisung did his best to convince her, feeling her turmoil and lessening hope as the moments went by, especially when she turned back around to avoid him from seeing the tears that blurred her vision.

"Isn't it all pointless anyways..." she mumbled.

"It's not when I'm with you," Jisung hugged her from behind for a moment, and oddly it felt natural, far less awkward than before. "Now, come on, let's go, or shall I say-"

"If you say let's row then I am tipping over this boat," Y/N chuckled as she sniffed, wiping away her tears.

"Noted. I will not speak in fear of drowning," Jisung spoke robotically, the two of them laughing once more afterwards as they grabbed the oars once more.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It was a treacherous journey you could say, venturing to the outskirts of the city, but it wasn't hard to see the old worn-down mansion which practically had a storm cloud hovering above it. Oddinary House, in all it's glory.

"What a glorious shithole," Jisung whistled out, eyes trialing across the rotting wood that was barely keeping the place together. It was a surprise his voice was even normal, considering the volumes that the impromptu karaoke session reached between the two of them.

"I know right," Y/N nodded along, squinting when she thought she saw someone floating in the water. They both rowed closer to the entrance of the house, gaining a closer look at the body. "Oh my god!" she gasped, "they're dead!"

"Damn, this place is fucked," Jisung's jaw hung open, even further when the body spoke back to him.

"Isn't it just?"

Jisung and Y/N both yelled out in shock at the person/creature that they thought was dead, suddenly speaking to them with an enticing melodic voice. They should have realised sooner than the swishing back and forth as they floated in the water couldn't have been achieved by a dead person.

"Wait... Oh my... it's the sexy scary siren! The stories were right!" Y/N put two and two together, remembering all the stories she had been told about who lived at the abandoned mansion and she figured out that this was the siren that many had spoken about. His alluring puppy dog eyes and gorgeous smile were just added bonuses to his hypnotising voice.

"Sexy?"

"Sexy..."

Jisung and the siren met eyes as they both spoke aloud at the same time, one of them sounding jealous and the other quite smug.

"Umm, right... Do you have a key?" Jisung abruptly asked, not wanting to waste any time.

"Don't just ask him!" Y/N turned away from the siren and whacked Jisung on the arm, scolding him.

"Well what am I supposed to do?!"

"I don't know introduce ourselves?!"

The siren chuckled as he watched the two humans in the canoe bicker. The back and forth instantly made him think of an old married couple playfully arguing yet they also had this radiant aura around them that could only be seen when they're together.

"Ummm, I'm Y/N and this is my best friend Jisung, please don't kill us, haha," Y/N falsely grinned feeling nervous even though her brain felt comfortable enough to blurt out earlier that she thought the siren in front of her was sexy.

"I'm Seungmin," the siren purred out, pausing in his floating to swim up to the canoe and rest his head against the edge of it. "Now, what's this about a key?" he inquired curiously.

"Did you not see the news?" Jisung huffed, not wanting to go through the prophecy anymore times than Y/N had already made him repeat it, just so that she could 'engrave it into her brain'.

"You really think we get signal out here? And in this climate? Bless your heart," Seungmin patronised Jisung, flicking water up in his face and making the boy squeeze his nose as some droplets has arrived up his nostrils. Incredibly salty water. That made it sting more.

Just then, a beautiful voice broke out, but no, it did not belong to the siren that was right in front of them, no. This voice, was female, and it was coming from above. Looking up at the stained windows of the second floor, and not in a pretty vibrant and colourful way, a figure almost glided down the corridor. They moved slowly, almost allowing for their voice to break out, becoming louder especially when they saw Jisung and Y/N.

"Oh gosh, you really had to set her off... We just got her to keep quiet!" Seungmin exclaims annoyed, a frown taking over his face as he pushes away from the canoe.

"Oh shit is that a banshee?" Y/N gasped, thinking about the newer rumours that had recently come of Oddinary House.

"No she must be the sexy siren you were saying about bestie," Jisung tried craning his neck to get a better look at who was catching his eye.

"No we already established that was me, obviously," Seungmin shouts back at them, before heading round to the other side of the mansion, swimming his way gracefully to the back garden.

"Ugh, Ji, you're getting distracted again," Y/N huffs as she whacks him.

"Hey that was you before!" Jisung folds his arms.

"Blah blah blah, come in, let's head inside," Y/N directs him as they row their boat inside the front doors, arriving into what looked like a reception room. Haggard, is what this place was.

"Hey! Umm, we're looking for a key!" Han dumbly called out.

"Dude ssshh, they could eat us or something," Y/N said feeling paranoid, wrapping her arms around one of Jisung's.

"Nothing will eat us," Jisung rolled his eyes fondly, letting her cling onto him still.

"I could eat you."

Shit. How accurate were these stories? How accurate were they to know that there was also a werewolf living at this mansion?! In fact, said werewolf was currently sat on the staircase, distastefully flicking water out of his fur.

"Please don't," Y/N gasped.

"Please do," Jisung gasped.

Everyone froze, looking back and forth between each other with confusion. You couldn't make this up, what was happening, it was just that bizarre.

"Ji, that's literally a werewolf," Y/N reminded him, pulling away from him as she stared up the creature who was smirking right back at them, one leg folded over the other, a certain smugness about him with his sharp features illuminated by a yellow light.

"Yeah but he's kindaaaa..." Jisung trailed off, scanning the figure.

"Hmm, yeah, I can see it to be fair," Y/N agreed after a few moments.

The werewolf cleared his throat after a few more starry eyes gazes were directed towards him, "if you're looking for a key, you need to find a gate to open."

"Duh! That's why we're looking for a key? Why is bro so cryptic," Han sighed in disappointment, could have been the perfect companion if it wasn't for his obvious remarks.

"Shut up he's helping us," Y/N reprimanded her best friend before trying to read the true thoughts and emotions behind the eyes of the being sat before them. "A gate... hold on, hold on, you know where this key is, don't you! You're gonna send us on a wild goose chase when we could be saving the world?!"

"Oh, haha, aw, how sweet, you think you can save the world? Well in that case... Head upstairs, might wanna avoid the banshee she's been a bit umm, stressed recently you could say... And then find the cyborg, his name is CB97. We used to have him downstairs but you know, water and electrics don't really-"

"Right thanks!" Han rushes past Minho and cuts him off, wading through the water and going up the other set of stairs. "Come on Y/N!"

Y/N really wished she taught him some manners. She had heard from some of his friends that he was a bit of a dick during his younger teen years but when she first met him he was sweet as pie. Well, until they got comfortable with each other and with roasting each other.

"Sorry about him, he's a bit... excitable," Y/N sheepishly walks past the werewolf, doing a weird wave and not turning her back in fear he'd suddenly turn and eat her up.

The pair were wary as they walked the floors upstairs, flinching at every sound until a door opening on its own terrified them.

"Ahhhh!!!"

"Ahhhh!"

"Stop screaming!!!"

"You stop screaming!!"

"Ji, shut up, look he's there, the cyborg," Y/N points to the hunched figure in the corner of the dimly lit room. He was hooked up to some generators, but more importantly, there was a clear box as part of his make, where a human's abs would normally be. And what was inside of that clear box? A golden, shiny key.

"Yes! We found it!!! Oh my gosh we're gonna save the world!" Y/N cheered as she and Jisung jumped up and down in each others arms, hugging tightly and pulling away to stare into each others eyes for a moment.

Jisung was the first to pull away

"Hey umm, Mr Cyborg, Mr CB... my 97 bro... Umm, where do we need to unlock this key?" Jisung waves his hand in front of the barely glowing blue eyes of the machine. After composing herself, Y/N stepped up next to him, also trying to get the cyborg to respond to them.

But it was no luck. The generators sparked as drops of water fell from the ceiling and caused a fuse, making CB97 the cyborg fully shut down, head hanging forwards.

"No, no, shit!" Y/N swore, tapping on the back of the cyborg with such vigor it was like someone was trying to fix an old television.

"Great that was real helpful... Now what are we going to do?!" Jisung stomped his foot, pacing back and forth with his hands on his head.

"Wait, give me a sec," Y/N rolled up her sleeves, ready to bust open the small door on the cyborg's body to retrieve the key. She slowly grabbed it, focusing all her strength on it til it opened all too easy and she went flying backwards and hit the floor with a loud groan.

"Shit, you ok Y/Nnie?" Jisung helped her up, rubbing her head gently and she responded with a nod.

"I'm fine, more than fine actually, I'm great. Look, the key, it's there Jisung!" Y/N dragged him back over to the shut down robot and grabbed the key, sliding it into her pocket and zipping it securely.

"We're actually going to do this... we're going to save the world!" Jisung gasped in disbelief.

They headed back down the corridors, walking down one flight of stairs and passing by a man with fangs peeking out from underneath his upper lip.

"Oh, by the way, your robot man friend went all sleepy mode on us," Y/N casually said, continuing to walk down the stairs alongside he best friend.

"What?!" the man yelled incredulously before morphing into a bat and zooming off upstairs, not before bumping into an old bear statue.

"Eh, not our problem," Jisung rested his hand on Y/N's back as he steered them outside, back to where their canoe was.

Oh how both of them wished that they'd be successful in saving the world, so they could tell the stories of entering the mansion to future generations, to their own kids- wait scrap that last idea, it's not like they'd ever end up together anyways.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Now it was time to trek back into the city. The sun was setting, casting a peachy glow across the faces of the pair. It seemed so scenic, only for it to smell horrendous. Jisung has convinced them to take a 'detour' because he 'knew a shortcut'. He didn't know a shortcut. And because of the route change they were both now forced to deal with the stench of the contents of the city's sewers flooding into the water around them. The putrid eggy smell consumed their lungs, and Y/N was sure she'd never breathe again.

"Smells like you after taco night-" Y/N plugged her nose with one hand as she laughed.

"Oi, Trouble, shut it!" Jisung kicked her bum lightly, trying not to laugh too.

Y/N loved being able to push his buttons, thus gaining her the nickname 'Trouble'. Jisung didn't use it all the time, but on the occasions he did it made her heart swoon. She knew she was getting under his skin and there was something so gratifying about him recognising that when he did use the nickname.

"You shouldn't have made them so spicy," Han pouted after a moment, mind still stuck there whilst Y/N had drifted to her nightly routine, despite it being closer to 6pm.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"I just can't think of where this gate is meant to be," Y/N groaned, looking up at the sky. Her arms were beginning to ache from rowing so Jisung insisted he'd take over to let her rest a bit.

"What did it say again?" Jisung stopped rowing, letting the canoe float.

"Oh come on! You told me I was silly for wanting to remember it off by heart!" Y/N knocked her head against Jisung's leg in protest, causing him to hold her head still as he looked down at her form laying down in the canoe.

"Y/Nnie, just tell me, yeah?" Jisung smiled through gritted teeth.

"Ugh fine, remember, it said a gate that knows all, that all know," Y/N reminded him.

"I just don't get how we're meant to figure that out, out of all the gates in the city how-"

"Jisung we're idiots," Y/N cut him off.

"Speak for yourself!" he huffed. The light in the day would soon be gone and there would be less chance of them completing their goal.

"Nope we're in this together. We're idiots. The city hall? That literally has a big gate and plus no one would really dare to enter there!! The place that knows all, that we all know! It's got to be that right?! All the official governing bodies go there, us common people could never just waltz in." Y/N scrambles up, rambling excitedly as her guess made more and more sense. Jisung had to help her to adjust her balance, and not just because of clumsy self trying to stand in the boat, but because of the waves seemed to be getting harder to handle. Only this morning it had been calmer and as the day went on the ripples turned to smaller waves that would rock the boat. And now they were straight up aggressive.

"But now we can," Jisung dangled the key in his hands.

"Hell yeah!" Y/N cheered with a newfound energy and she grabbed her set of oars.

It wasn't long until they made their way round to the city hall, going round the back of the historic building and finding the tall golden gates guarding an endless flight of stairs. It was said to have led down to an old pipe system that ran underneath the hall and the whole city.

"I wish I thought of this earlier, should have paid more attention in geography," Jisung shook his head regretfully.

"Right, who's going to swim down? Because I'll do this Jisung, I don't mind," Y/N turned to her best friend, gripping his hands tightly with promises exchanged between. The water had now risen further on their journey and if it rose anymore their boat would simply tip over the gates.

"No, I can't just let you do that!" Jisung exclaimed, frowning at the thought of the girl he loved going to do this on her own. It wouldn't feel fair.

"We need someone up here to keep watch of things!" Y/N tried to grab her hands out of Jisung's hold, who was now holding on tighter than ever not wanting to spend a moment without her.

"Watch what? Our city drown even more?!" Jisung cried out exasperatedly.

"No way," Y/N's heart dropped.

"Umm yes way, it's been like that forever!" Jisung grumbled, searching through Y/N's gaze to try and figure out what had really made her feel taken aback.

"No, look!" Y/N's eyes welled up in fear, pure utter fear.

There was a colossal tidal wave heading towards the city, already plummeting through several buildings in the distance and driving them down into the ground, destruction it's friend. Flocks of birds flew high in the sky, squawking as they retreated in fear. If only they were birds who could leave so easily. There only chance was this prophecy, it had to work.

"Oh shit," Y/N was frozen as she shouted loudly.

"Look, we've not got time, we do this together ok, I don't care what happens," Jisung grabbed Y/N's face between his hands, thumbs stroking over the tops.of her cheekbones as he tried to get her to focus.

"What if it doesn't work? This stupid prophecy?! We've got a key but what do we even-" Y/N trembled in Jisung's arms.

"No, no, no, sshh it's ok, Y/N. I got you, yeah? Come on, we need to do this now, ok?" Jisung stood up shakily on the canoe, pulling Y/N up with him.

"Together?" Y/N's voice cracked.

"Yes, we go down, now, at least we've tried," Jisung rested his forehead against hers, before they both jump into the murky waters with an all mighty splash.

It was lucky Jisung had a tight grip on the key as the pair of them rose above the water, took in a deep breath, and with one look to each other they nodded and swam down to the keyhole of the gate together. With all luck, this prophecy would be right. Maybe they'd be able to unlock the gates, allowed the water to flood down into the city's old pipes system and drain it all, so that they'd have at least one chance of survival.

Y/N helped Jisung stay down in the water to try and unlock the gate, as there was nothing to cling onto. He lodged the key into the hole and twisted it to the left, once, twice, thrice. He pushed the gates forwards and they shared a look of success, before it soon turned to dread.

They were expecting an empty staircase, for the water to flood down, but to their horror the pipes system itself has already been overwhelmed with flooding.

In that moment the huge tidal wave that had been hurtling towards the city hit where they were, and they were sucked down into the pipes system from the sheer force of the wave hitting on impact. The current hit them ferociously, dragging the two of them further and further down. There was nowhere to turn to, nowhere to run.

Jisung and Y/N we're freaking out, flailing in the water and trying to swim upwards for air but it was no use. The place was filled to the brim with water and by the time they tried swimming back up the endless amount of stairs, water would start to enter their lungs.

In fact, it already was.

The two heroes gripped onto each other as bubbles appeared in the water in front of them and the oxygen left their body. They were running out of time, something that seemed so precious until their world was doomed. Doomed from the very start. The prophecy lied.

Jisung grabbed Y/N's hands startling her out of her freak out and he rested both of them against his heart. She cried, adding her salty tears to the water they were submerged in, wishing this wasn't how it had to end. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't they have more time to confess? Why couldn't they have had more time to tell each other how they truly felt?!

He moved his hands to her face, holding her so delicately once more, and she, him. More bubbles were appearing but if they were going to share their last breath, they knew how they'd want to lose it. Jisung pressed his lips against Y/N's, something he should have done a long time ago. Their eyes closed when their lips met, and when they pulled away, they held onto each other tightly, love and despair in both of their longing stares saying 'we tried'.

And they did try. They tried so hard to save a world that was dying, leading to their own fated departures from the Earth. The world was destined to end but they were destined to be together, no matter what was thrown at them.

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