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[colinblouin]

Advice for Aspiring Leaders

It’s that time of year again, a time where many students ask me what I look for in a leader and what they should do if they’re interested in holding a leadership position. Truth be told, there’s no exact science to it. There are plenty of leadership styles out there, personality inventories, and so on, but the best leaders I’ve worked with have been a mix of many traits and abilities. To me, leadership is very organic and it totally depends on the leader. With that being said, I’ve come up with a few characteristics and nuggets of wisdom to hopefully help the aspiring leaders out there. So, without further ado...

There is no Y, O, or U in “Leadership”

This is a big one. You have to know what motivates you as a leader, and it can’t simply be because you want the title, or a resumé builder. Leadership is bigger than that, and there’s too much at stake to make yourself the focal point in any organizational capacity. Plain and simple, it’s not about you. If you’re motivated by your own self-interests, or if you have a sense of entitlement to the position in which you desire to hold, if you are chosen for that position, it won’t be nearly as rewarding as it ought to be.

Your leadership should be motivated by your passion to serve others, and your passion for the organization which you’re leading. That is that start of a great leader. You have to come into leadership with the realization that it’s not about you; it’s about serving something, be the organization or its causes, that is bigger than yourself. The greatest joy I would say any one person can ever feel is working with others to accomplish a goal that could not be done by any one person individually.

Your leadership can make or break an organization. You are much more likely to not only be successful as a leader, but to be appreciated as one, when you are selfless, humble yet hungry, and you have a self awareness that guides you to be empathetic and encouraging of others. What motivates you should be what motivates others, so...

Start with Why

It’s a good Simon Sinek read, and there are plenty of good Youtube videos (he has a few TedTalks) out there to hammer this point home, but you need the “why” to your “what” before you can be a good leader. It’s your purpose. The reason you show up. It not only helps you to decide what motivates you, but it ultimately helps you to communicate and motivate others. Find your purpose, and let that be your guide.

Often times, it’s easy to give our constituents the “what”, i.e. “we’re doing this”, or “we have to do that”, but it’s much harder to get others on board if there is no “why” to your “what”. People want to know why, often times just as much as we do what: it’s human nature. If you give the why, the purpose behind what you’re doing, and more specifically behind how you’re leading, and what you might need from others, it’s easier to create buy-in, and eventually, to find success.

Good Leaders Lead; Great Leaders Empower Others to Lead

Legacy and leadership go hand-in-hand, and because of that, your legacy should be at the forefront of your mind as you lead: what kind of state will the organization be in when you leave it? The question then shifts to not only if this organization is in a good place at the conclusion of your leadership, but are there others that will be ready and able to step up when the time comes? The best organizations empower others to step up; if you expand your organization’s leadership capacity, you increase your organizations success.

To do this, you have to encourage those around you, and show your sincere belief in them and their abilities. Look for others strengths and talents, and find ways to apply them and celebrate them within and beyond the organization. To be a good leader means to be a good mentor; model the way for others, but also help and guide them to their own successes. You’ll know you did your job well when you left your position of leadership, and the organization you’re leading, in a better place then when you found it, and in the most capable of hands.

Role up your Sleeves, Lead by Example

It may sound like a cliché. Many of us have heard “lead by example” a number of times. But there’s a deeper level of leadership found in such a cliché.

When I was 15, I worked in a grocery store for a major grocery chain. I remember being trained, and it came time for me to have to learn the procedures for cleaning a bathroom. Yes, a public bathroom. So who trained me? None other than the Store Manager, the highest paid individual in the building, was there with a scrub brush and cleaning solution. We spent the next hour and a half going around the store cleaning the bathrooms together. A man who made six figure salary, and a young boy who made $7.25 an hour.

Years later, he would retire, and as he and I had a conversation, I recalled that portion of my training, and I found myself asking him why he chose to clean bathrooms with me rather than have someone much further down the food chain do so. He told me this: “Leaders never ask anything of anyone they wouldn’t be willing to do themselves.”

This is important. It’s easy, more often than not, even encouraged, to delegate tasks as a leader. However, it’s just as important to work alongside each and every person you have the privilege to serve, when you have the opportunity. You have to show those who you lead that you’re in it together, no matter if the task is a dirty or difficult one. Role up your sleeves, get to work, and when it’s all said and done, you’ll be stronger as a leader for it.

Talk Less, Smile More

Not just a line from Hamilton (a personal favorite of mine), but a pretty valid bit of advice for leaders. Want another cliché? Sometimes it’s better to be the wisest voice in the room than the loudest. A good leader doesn’t jump the gun; they are composed, they take in information, and they process it in order to make informed decisions. They also let the passion guide them, but they don’t let it overcome them. 

Many times, the problems I’ve seen some leaders encounter is their inability to get out of their own way. What I mean by this, is that their leadership causes stagnation rather than progress. They get wrapped up in the little things, or they try to be the loudest voice in the room without logic or reasoning at the helm of their decision making, and it leads to a mess, sometimes small, and sometimes big. Don’t be that kind of “leader”.

Also understand that some of the greatest leaders are also the best listeners. The best leaders listen to understand, not simply to respond. Sometimes the people you’re working with just need to know you hear them, and beyond that, that you will try to do right by them. Not everything needs a response. Let your actions reflect your values, and the needs of those around you. Don’t just tell people you hear them; show them.

Don’t Be Afraid to Fail

There was a blog-post I did years ago called Millennials, Achievement, and the Importance of Failure. One of arguably the most important lessons all leaders must learn is that failure is inevitable; it’s what you do in response to that failure that determines just how good of a leader you really are.

Bad leaders take failure and place it on the organization, rather than accepting their own faults. Does that mean the organization doesn’t share some or much of the blame? Not exactly. But it is your responsibility to create a teachable moment from that failure, regardless of where the responsibility lies. Let your failure be a learning experience that propels your organization forward, rather than backwards.

Don’t be afraid to own up to your shortcomings; promise to work on them, and get better each and every day. Take constructive criticism; just because you’re a leader doesn’t mean you’re above improvement. Try to be proactive rather than reactive. Try not to make the same mistake twice.

Attitude is Altitude

This is one of my all time favorite bits of advice from one of my all time favorite mentors; I think it also happens to be one of the most important. It’s one of the truest things I know: enthusiasm is contagious, but negativity is a plague. People are aware of your attitude, they’re aware of how you carry yourself; they will be a reflection of that as you lead them. The line from Remember the Titans goes, “Attitude reflects leadership.” It’s true.

Whatever your organization may be going through, whatever challenges it may face, your attitude, determines where your organization will wind up. Your negativity will sink progress like quicksand, and will do nothing for morale. But your enthusiasm can, and ultimately will, help you to guide the organization to the heights it aspires to and beyond. Be enthusiastic. Even when its hard, even when your plate is full, even when others around you, aren’t: be enthusiastic. Your attitude will determine the level of success you reach both as an organization, and as a leader.

That’s it! 

Lead selflessly and authentically. 

Lead with a purpose. 

Lead to empower others. 

Lead by example.

Lead and embrace failure.

Lead with positivity and enthusiasm. 

[colinblouin]

The Phoenix

Time and time again we see so many professionals struggling to stay in the higher education professional field, specifically in fraternity and sorority life. Many are tired. Tired of the constant news cycle. Tired of problems that often sometimes may seem to have no solution. Tired of being overworked and underpaid. They call it burn out.

Burn out knows no amount of years of experience, or what side you work on, whether in the headquarters, consulting, speaking, or at an institution: it’s results are the same. People become so frustrated by the struggles they endure that they look for a way out - a new beginning, perhaps. But we have to look to the source of the burn out. To be burnt out, you had to be on fire at some point. You had that fire to pass on the fraternal movement to those who follow after you, and that matters.

There are lots of dialogues discussing how to prevent burn out and so on, but this writing isn’t one of those. I’ll be the first to say, yes, I haven’t been in the field many years, but I get it. I’ve heard of the under-supported communities, the under-valued professionals who serve them, and so much more. I get it. It sucks to think we may not have everything we need, that we’ll never get to that point where things in our field are perfect, but we have to look at the big picture rather than the here and now.

Forty years ago, our profession was essentially in its infancy. The roles of the Fraternity/Sorority Advisor were minimal, if the roles even existed. Our dialogues likely weren’t at the depth then that they are now. While the circumstances that lead to the advancement of the field may not have been ideal, becoming aware of inherent risks, exponentially more coverage from the media, etc., we are here, and we’re doing more than ever, and that matters. We’re making a greater impact on lives more frequently than ever before, and that matters. Many of us can remember those who inspired us, or what inspired us, to enter this field, and that matters.

When we’re facing burn out, I think it’s important to remember that even a Phoenix rises from the ashes, but before it does, its predecessor must burn out. It’s ok to be burnt out, but never forget your legacy, never forget the lives you impact and transform and the people who follow after to continue to make the fraternal movement a better and safer one than the way you found it. It’s never easy to see the ones who inspired us, were mentors to us, burn out and potentially leave the field, but we must take the lessons we learned from them to ensure that their work is not in vein.

At the end of the day, as we build our legacy, we preserve and further the legacy of those who inspired us. We are the Phoenix, time and time again we rise from the ashes, and we’re making a difference. There is still much work to be done, but the impact we make, the work we do, paints a greater picture than the one currently in our view. With that being said, it’s time to put in the work. Things may not always seem as positive as we wish they were, but our attitude can determine the impact we make; we can’t control the situations we find ourselves in, or the challenges ahead of us, but we can control how we face them, and the attitude we bring to such challenges is everything. Be as positive as you can be, and rise up: you are a Phoenix.

To end with a quote from Jane Fitch, “The Phoenix must burn to emerge.”

[colinblouin]

Call It Out

It’s been a minute, blog, my old friend. Good to be back.

It’s been more than a year since my last blog post, and a lot has transpired. A LOT has been learned since that time. I’m in my third year as a graduate student studying Higher Education Administration. I’m in my third year working in fraternity and sorority life. And…I’m coming off my second year at the Association for Fraternity/Sorority Advisors Annual Meeting.

There are some key takeaways I have from the Annual Meeting; some good, and some bad. Like a compliment sandwich, my bread is going to be two positive things, and the meat will be the negative, but boy, will there be a lot of meat…

First things first, AFAAM reminded me yet again that I’m truly thankful for the support system I have around me. My friends and family have been extremely supportive of my career, and I can’t thank them enough, but I’m also thankful for the mentors and colleagues who have uplifted me and encouraged me and empowered me. Whether its my mentors who I have had the wonderful fortune of working alongside, or colleagues who I’ve had the joy of facilitating leadership education endeavors with, individuals from across the country who bring so much to this field, I am so very thankful. They are true examples of the people we so desperately need in this field. Times are challenging in the fraternal movement, and the field can be a tough one to navigate, but I’m lucky to have such a wonderful support system that not only encourages me, but pushes me to be better.

Which leads me to the meat of this: we need to be better.

We have a real issue in our field. It’s not as complicated or convoluted as we are often apt to make issues in the fraternal movement. We aren’t living up to our purpose. If anything, in many ways we fall severely short.

We preach values and inclusivity within the fraternal movement, but as practitioners, professionals in the field, we do very little to further such notions. At the AFAAM, we operate in our own cliques, we can be catty, we can be downright inappropriate, and I use “we” as inclusive language, though not everyone is guilty of such behavior. With AFAAM, it’s easy to feel like a small fish in a big sea where your opinion doesn’t matter, and where your voice isn’t necessarily heard, especially considering I myself am “young” in the game. At the end of the day I found myself thinking “I want to do whatever I can to be the best I can to serve my students; that’s why I’m here: to learn.” Politics don’t really fit my immediate goals or purpose.

This year at AFAAM felt…different. Granted, a lot has transpired in the last year, but it was definitely a different experience, and I feel sorry for those who experienced the Atlanta Annual Meeting as their first AFAAM, because they deserved better, not from those who put in tireless work to pull off the Annual Meeting, but from those who are in the field. I’m glad I attended last year’s AFAAM in Boston, otherwise this year would’ve been extremely intimidating, and borderline overwhelming. That, and I just get this sneaking feeling like some people come for validation from their peers as much as/if not more than to further grow professionally, and help others grow, and that’s just not me, it’s not who I am, or who I want to be. 

I was talking to my friend that I had lunch with during one of the days; we were both in undergrad together and she just started her position at another institution very recently. It was her first AFA, and I just felt bad because she explained to me that “I’ve gone to different networking things, and things of that nature, but you’re the only person I’ve actually TALKED to, and you already know me…everyone else seems very disingenuous.” What’s sad is that while I tried to console her and encourage her to keep at it, I know her…she’s not even an introvert; she’s the type to try and make friends, to put herself out there, to be anything but judgmental, so for her to say that, it just validated that sunken feeling I had because that made me really come to grips with the sad truth about the state of the field. I hate that for her. I hate that for anyone else who was new there and shared that feeling. If we want people to stay in the field and fight the trend of those leaving, I think we need to get out of our own way, first.

Getting out of our own way applies in so many ways. We see a lot of “me me me” which is fine to an extent, but the reason you should be attending something like AFAAM, wanting to grow as professional, is because the foundation of what you’re doing is to better serve students. It’s not about validation for what you do; we know this is a thankless job/field at times, but we’re here because regardless, we SHOULD all want to better serve our students in so many different but very important facets, and better prepare other professionals to do the same. We should be here not only because we believe in the fraternal movement, but because we ourselves are striving to live it while also encouraging and striving to guide our students to do the same. If you so badly need a pat on the back or attention for the work you’re doing, you may be in the wrong field, or at least in it for the wrong reasons. 

We can’t preach values and inclusivity, but than be catty, attention grabbing, and politic when we have real issues facing us. Our field has a sever problem with hypocrisy, and we preach such things like values and inclusivity, but then we get in that environment, and it’s just…well, toxic at times. We need to do better before we can start to expect the same from our students, and we need to realign ourselves with our purpose.

Which leads me to another very important topic: the lack of values on display. I witnessed or was made aware of professionals in the field making some extremely poor decisions, and these were individuals not new to the field, but seasoned veterans. During the last night of the banquet, I had a few drinks. What did I do after? I took a picture with some facilitator friends, went to a reception to wish Ms. Mindy Sopher well (because she’s an amazing individual), and went up to my room to watch football. In spite of me having a few drinks and being adequately socially lubricated, I had enough of my faculties to speak clearly, and the knowledge that if I continued to drink, I would potentially make a fool of myself. How did I know this? Because my fraternal experience and the values imparted to me through that experience taught me when to make a right decision, when to remove myself from a social setting, because I and I alone am responsible for my actions. This isn’t me asking for a pat on the back, but merely saying that making the right decision wasn’t and shouldn’t be a difficult one. We do enough risk training and education to know better. I’m just a graduate student (granted, I’ve been in the field longer than most graduate students), and I knew better? Shame. Shame on all those whose behavior was SO counter to our values we so claim.

So, what did others do that night? They continued to get intoxicated, many to the point of being visibly inebriated, and then hit on their colleagues inappropriately, to the point of sexual harassment and quite possibly sexual assault. I know, because one of the unwilling victims was one of my friends. What’s worse? It wasn’t reported for the same reasons rape-culture is perpetuated in our society. Because if you call someone out in this field, especially if they have been around longer than you, it threatens your professional viability. It makes you a pariah in a professional organization such as AFA that has the audacity to call itself “inclusive”, with professionals who implement sexual assault prevention and bystander intervention educational programs that teach our students to “never blame the victim” and that “anyone under the influence cannot give affirmative consent”. It’s so so SO wrong that our environment is so toxic that ANY individual within it has to feel such an uncomfortable feeling where they don’t feel they can report something of such distasteful nature. It’s disgusting. And we wonder why people are leaving the field among other reasons?

We cannot preach values and inclusivity to our students until we do a better job of exemplifying them ourselves. It starts with us. We have the cliché that “you’re always wearing your letters,” and yet we arrive at AFAAM and for many, that notion goes out the window on night one. That’s not acceptable. Whether you’ve been in the field for one month, or fifty years, it is not, and will never be, acceptable to let your values slip at a gathering of professionals whose purpose SHOULD be growing for the sake of better serving students and members of the fraternal movement. Maybe it starts with a question of why you’re in this field? Maybe the leadership within AFA needs to be better at facilitating such conversations at the Annual Meeting itself (though it seems a little ridiculous that we have to remind ourselves of proper behavior like we’re students all over again). I’m not sure what the solution needs to be, but it’s not complicated: lead by example, all the time, everywhere.

To those who are newer to the field, it’s wrong that we should be silenced for feeling this way, such dissonance, because we’re afraid of how it will affect our involvement in the field or professional viability. We shouldn’t be made to feel that we have to allow for bad behavior to be enabled by such twisted power dynamics. We pay our membership dues just as those who have been in the field for a long time, and we have just as much a claim to the association as any other professional.

I’ll leave the meat of this post on these notes. In the words of Kenrick Lamar, “Sit down, be humble.” We are in this together, and we owe it to those in the fraternal movement whom we serve to be better. There’s also a quote from one of my founders, Robert Morrison, that continues to resonate with me every day: “To do what ought to be done but would not have been done unless I did it, I thought to be my duty.” We have a duty to make sure we incorporate an inclusive and SAFE environment for all in this field, whether at our places of work, or at professional development environments such as AFAAM. 

Simply? Be better.

To end on a positive note and complete the sandwich, there is a positive to the aforementioned negativity: I’m not alone. I know there are other professionals, some new, and some old, who feel the same way that I do, that we need to do better and be better. It’s because of those individuals that our field, our association, and the fraternal movement, stand a chance at moving forward. We have so much work to be done. People are dying because of our students’ who comprise our organizations actions. We see more and more, cases that run counter to our purpose, and we are at war to save something so special and meaningful to so many. We need to regroup and regain our focus, and we need to listen to ALL voices for solutions to so many problems, from substance abuse to mental health to so much more, not because we owe it to ourselves for the sake of maintaining employment, but because we owe it to our brothers and sisters, to those who came before us, and who will follow after.

I’ll leave it on this note. There is a line in the oath for new members of Phi Delta Theta, the Phikeia oath, that says the following: “I will strive in all ways to transmit the fraternity to those who may follow after, not only, not less, but greater than it was transmitted to me.” I apply it not only to my fraternity, but to my profession, and anything else I associate myself with. I intend to do the same for the Association of Fraternity/Sorority Advisors. Our work is ongoing, but if you feel that there is room to improve yourself, the field, the fraternal movement, start now. Tomorrow is too late. There’s too much at stake. If you see something wrong, something that needs to be noticed, and/or something that needs to be improved: Call. It. Out.

I’ll end with a message in the image below, a quote from Lao Tzu, imparted to all attendees at AFAAM by the opening keynote speaker, Dr. Freeman A. Hrabowski III:

[colinblouin]

Legacies, and the Importance of Mentors

Dedicated to Donald Abels, a mentor. Thank you for inspiring me to be a better fraternity man each day, and for setting the example of sacrifice and dedication to the greater movement.

Mentors.

We’ve all had them. Whether it was a coach, a teacher, a supervisor, or just someone you look up to, you’ve had a mentor in some capacity. Many times, such an individual embodies all those roles in some way shape or form, sometimes even all at once. I’m lucky; I’ve had the fortune of meeting people like that who’ve made a vast impact on my life, especially in regards to fraternity and sorority life. It’s important to recognize those people while you still have the chance, not forget the lessons you’ve learned, and pass on the lessons they’ve given to you. If you cherish what they’ve done for and given to you, it’s your duty to carry on their legacy to honor them.

“Thank you for all you do, and all you will do, for the fraternal movement.”

This is something I’ve always felt compelled to say when someone assisted us in our endeavors of educating our current students, whether it be through programming, retreats, or anything of the sort. The thing is, it has a much deeper meaning than “thank you”, especially when you’re a student affairs professional (or in my case, one who aspires to be one). Student Affairs professionals don’t do what they do for the money; you don’t enter the field thinking “this is gonna make me rich”, because it flat out won’t. The thing you can’t monetize though, is the intrinsic reward you get from working in the field.

To me, partially because of the example I’ve had set for me, nothing is greater than the feeling one gets from empowering others, and seeing the potential in them to be more than they expect of themselves. Sometimes, for others to succeed, all they need is someone willing to believe in them. Sometimes, to take the next step, they need someone to convince them that even if they take a scary jump, they’ll land on solid ground, or that even if they fall, they’ll still be able to pick themselves back up. That’s why we thank those who sacrifice their time (and sometimes their sanity) for all they do for the fraternal movement. When you inspire a student, you gain a greater award than what can be assessed from your bank account balance.

I’ve struggled at times with how to help and/or encourage students to live their values. I’ve heard every excuse for why it is difficult to not only join values-based organizations such as fraternities and sororities, but to carry out their values in a world that has 24/7 coverage thanks to social media, and makes making bad decisions even easier than ever before. But, I still try, I still fight, because my mentors taught me to do so, and they were 99% tougher than I am. I’ve had the fortune of working with some great people, but my supervisors are and have been top-notch. I like to think it’s because of them I’m getting thicker skin, and getting better with each lesson of each day. When I feel like the daily struggle is one that can’t be won, they have continuously picked me up.

I often find myself asking them quite a few questions. How do we find a way to personify our values in a day and age where it’s so difficult? “It’s a war, not just a battle” one mentor told me. “You can’t convince everyone all at once to commit to their values because that’s next to impossible, but if you encourage just one student to live closer to the values that their ritual dictates and expects of them, you’ve won the day, and you can keep on fighting.” Another mentor told me “I used to think it had to be seen in black and white, with no gray; I later realized that you have to see the gray, find that middle ground, in order to reach your students, and make slow but sure progress. Keep fighting.” Those lessons have made me a better aspiring student affairs professional than I could have imagined.

Some days are harder than others, sure, but my mentors empowered me to be more than I initially expected of myself. I never knew the journey I would take when I accepted my job with Fraternity and Sorority Life, or the lessons I would learn. I was under the impression that I’d just be filing paperwork or typing data, but, my supervisors not only empowered and taught me to be and do more, they trusted me too. That meant and means so much more to me than some poorly organized article could convey, because I wouldn’t be where I am without them. They didn’t have to trust me, they could have just as easily had me sitting at a cubicle doing clerical work. But, they had faith in me, and knew I was capable of more before I even knew it of myself.

Today, I’m on my way to not only being a better aspiring student affairs professional, but a better person, because of the people I’ve been lucky to call my mentors. One mentor left our institution about 8 months ago, but she continues to be an ear when I really need it, and a source of assurance, true support. The other mentor’s last day was this past week, and though it’s tough to lose someone who has taught me so much, it’s good to know he’s going to make an impact in other students’ lives. I can only hope to be nearly as good as they are at their jobs. It’s not even their expertise of current trends or policies that makes them great at what they do (though it certainly helps), it’s the sacrifices they make for their students.

There would be nights where I would come back to the school to advise a student organization, and think to myself “wow it’s late, I’ve already been here today, yikes.” I’d walk into the office, and there either one or both would be, still working. I’d ask “so when did you come back”, and they’d usually laugh and say “I never left”. Remarkable. They made and continue to make sacrifices for their students. They believe in the fraternal movement. They believe in making a difference in students’ lives, even if it’s only one student that day...they fight the good fight. They inspire me to fight the good fight. That’s there legacy.

I was once one of those students who they made an impact on; hell, that’s why I’m in the position I’m in today, and why I aspire to be who I want to be. I wasn’t sure of what I could do, or how well I could do it, but they empowered me and encouraged me, and still do to this day. It’s because of them that I believe in the fraternal movement, because of the example they set, and it’s because of them, that I believe in myself. I try to pass it on, because that’s their legacy, and ultimately, now it’s mine too. I try to make a difference in the lives of the students I have the fortune of helping. Yes, it takes sacrifice, and some days are harder than others, but the feeling of seeing students aspire to be more, to accomplish great feats and reach for higher goals, it makes it all worth it. 

A legacy is important. Leave yours, for you, for those who came before you, and for those who will follow after you. Be good, do good, and inspire others to do the same.

[colinblouin]

Millennials, Achievement, and the Importance of Failure

I have to preface this article by first stating that I, in fact, am a millennial. Whether I want to identify myself as one or not, that’s the reality. However, because of that fact, I am roped in and generalized by what a famous clip from The Newsroom’s Jeff Daniels’ character refers to as “ the worst, period, generation, period, ever, period.” Succinctly said. But I digress, it’s true. I see it every day in students I work (or sometimes don’t work) with. I hear about it from my parents, who technically fall under the previous two generations (Boomers and Generation X), coworkers (typically Generation X), and the parents of the students who I work with, typically the latter two generations as well.

Side Note: If you’d like to watch that clip from The Newsroom, I highly recommend it: it addresses the reality we face today from a national civic level, across partisan lines.

Reading a great article written by Ms. Rachel Foote, she points out the sad truth that millennials today, more than ever, need reassurance for almost everything they do, and a critique of their efforts is a personal indictment on them as people, or at least it’s taken as such. She goes on to do what many millennials fear: hold them accountable for their behavior. Get passed the light profanity in the article (we’re all adults here, it’s no big deal), and you realize she’s exactly right. We live in a world where our society is transitioning, where millennials will soon fill important roles, and if that is the case, we have to hope that within the generation there are people with thicker skin than the ones we see on the aggregate.

We millennials are what some refer to as the participation trophy generation, and they’re not wrong. We come from a time where we need to be coddled, and we feel that as long as we show up, we should be rewarded. It’s alarming, almost scary to think about. When you consider where we came from being raised by Baby Boomers and Generation X, to the point we are now, and where we could have diverted, you have to wonder where things went wrong. To me, some things are just black and white, and they should be seen that way to you too. A win is a win. A loss is a loss. If you don’t like it, then work harder to get the win.

That’s the reality of today, we live in a world where those who want to succeed will do so, typically by sheer force of will (and with a little luck), because it takes more than just showing up to achieve something. I recently observed students discussing how they were dissatisfied that in order to get accredited as fraternities or sororities at the university I work at, they had to attend certain events as a chapter. This kind of bothered me, partially because when I was a student, I had to attend the same kind of events for the sake of my chapter. Could they be a little time-consuming, maybe an interruption of your day to day activity? Sure…but is that not the point of life? 

We recently changed the way we accredit organizations to reflect their own personal goals (in addition to the aforementioned required attendance events), rather than setting universal benchmarks for the organizations to achieve. We did so because we did not want to measure one organization in relation to another, but rather, individual chapter achievement. I agree with this, but only to an extent. An alleged (but unfounded) quote from Albert Einstein reads that, “Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” Fair. But at the same time, do we not need a benchmark to a certain degree in order to really value achievement?

Making achievement easily attainable is a slippery slope, because it can lead to entitlement rather than aspirations for success. Competition can breed growth so long as it is healthy. You should allow for those certain people and organizations (the ones that separate themselves by the quality of their work, their presentation, etc.) to set the bar for everyone else; not allow those who do not measure up to the same standards to cause you to lower that same bar to make others feel better. We as a society need to see the opportunity in failure, the opportunity to learn from trial and error, to grow, rather than let ourselves get bogged down. We should teach proactive behavior, not reactive. Those who set the bar, should later be pushed by those who want to meet that bar, and raise it themselves. The old adage goes “records were made to be broken.”

With that being said, you shouldn’t take away the savoriness of achievement to make yourself, or those you hold accountable, feel better. If others are changing their criteria to simplify the measurement of your achievement, your success, they aren’t doing you any favors. Think of it like a nice cut of steak: if you could eat it every day, it wouldn’t be nearly as special to you – just another slab of meat.

That leads me to the biggest point of this article: Millennials, you need to fail. 

It’s not going to be easy, and a lot of time, that failure will sting, but it is CRUCIAL to not only your personal growth, but to the growth of all the things you contribute to, depending on how you react to it. For those who haven’t yet entered the work force, and who may still be in school, fail now while you’re young, and fail often, because it is better to do so now while you have more time to learn from it, than when the real world hits. I can’t count on my own two hands, let alone the hands of everyone in a crowded room, how many times I have failed. For every time I’ve succeeded, I’ve probably failed a hundred times, if not more. However, from that failure came a learning opportunity. I may not have won, I may not have gotten a trophy, but I grew from my failures, and I continue to grow from them, every single day. The reality is this: you will fail far more in life than you will succeed, but that’s what makes the success so sweet. 

How does this relate to fraternities and sororities? One of the best little nuggets of advise that I received as a Chapter President was from our General Headquarters’ then Director of Expansion. We were talking about where the chapter was going, and all that I was doing to prevent it from going to where we didn’t want to go. He stopped me as I was explaining all I was doing and told me very bluntly “You need to let the chapter fail.” Excuse me? You’re kidding, right? Those were thoughts rushing through my head, but once he explained it, it all made sense.

He explained to me that I was only going to be a leader in the chapter for so long, and that if I didn’t let the chapter fail then, I wouldn’t be there to help them fix it later, after I was gone. I was a part of the problem, rather than the solution, because I wasn’t allowing the chapter as a whole to learn from failure. I wasn’t allowing them to grow. He was dead on, absolutely right. 

The reality is this: nobody is going to coddle you in the real world, and if they do so, it’s probably not a place you want to be professionally, because it inhibits your growth. If you complain about your work, the company won’t worry, because you can be replaced. While you’re stagnant, others are getting better than you at whatever you may do, so don’t ever settle for complacency. If you eventually have kids, their lives will present certain moments of inconvenience; I know my life placed small burdens on my parents, but they rose to the occasion while still finding success in their professional lives. Just because you don’t get words of affirmation, doesn’t mean you’re doing a bad job; you’re employed on the basis that the terms of your employment include doing your job - if you need affirmation for doing what is expected of you, you will not be successful. If you want words of affirmation, earn them. If it’s really hard to earn those words of affirmation, good; it will make them that much more worth it when you finally get them.

The real world is full of adversity. The sooner you learn how to handle that adversity, the better you will be for it. If you think attending mandatory speakers in college is a burden, wait till you have a major project deadline at your job, but your kids need to be picked up from soccer practice, or whatever else may be going on in their lives. There will be hiccups. Life is hard, anything but convenient, but one of the greatest feelings you can experience is to recognize adversity within your life, and rise to the occasion in spite of it. I’ve never changed my fortune by complaining about the circumstances I find myself in; only when I recognized the problems or hurdles, and put in the work necessary to overcome them, did I actually do so. Goals don’t work unless you do.

Finally, if and when you do reach success, don’t take to long to celebrate it. Mark Cuban once said: “Work like there is someone working twenty four hours a day to take it all away from you.”  Successful people have a short memory, because they know that if they get bogged down with past success, they won’t be successful for long. It’s not a given, you have to earn it, but success earned is so much sweeter than success simply given. The same goes for those words of affirmation.

Millennials, heed these words: the world doesn’t owe you any favors. It doesn’t owe you a pat on the back because you tried. It doesn’t owe you a participation trophy because you grace it with your existence. Do not expect that just because you did enough to get by, you achieved. Achievement is going above and beyond. Achievement is failing, learning from that failure, and growing from it. It is when we acknowledge this, that we can begin to succeed and overcome such failures. However, remember that just because you learned from prior failure does not mean you won’t fail again. You will – I guarantee it. Take critique from those higher up than you, even if it stings. The more your failure hurts, the more you’ll learn from it, and the better you will be. Don’t cry or get upset because you didn’t get brownie points for trying, and don’t get complacent; get back out there, and work your butt off. You can be a part of the problem, or a part of the solution. The choice is yours. 

[colinblouin]

An Open Letter to Fraternity and Sorority New Members

(And a reminder to the Actives, Alumni, and Alumnae) 

There are a lot of things I could tell you, and a lot of things I could warn you against, but I think it would be best that I give you the honest to God truth about the expectations and realities of being a fraternity man or sorority woman, and some advice to take with you going forward. You see, fraternity and sorority life can be a truly great thing. It unites young men and women and encourages them to represent something bigger then themselves, but let’s be clear: This isn’t a fraternity or sorority like they were back in your mother and father’s days.

We live in a time where everything you say, post, do, etc. is quantified, archived, and analyzed, and in this world of technology, the camera is always on, whether you know it or not. You see, those crazy stories like the ones you see in the movies such as Animal House or Neighbors, well, they come with a certain bit of nostalgia. However, today everything you can and will do is under a microscope. You can say it’s not fair, you can try to excuse any actions as things that may have been acceptable “back in the day”, but I’ll give you a quote that Sparky Reardon, the Dean Emeritus (previously Dean of Students) of Ole Miss, said during a speaking engagement when I was an undergraduate: “If you’re looking for sympathy, you’ll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis.” There are no excuses in this day and age.

That’s the reality of life: it’s not fair. You can choose to complain about it, and make excuses, or you can see it for what it really is: a challenge to be a better man or woman, and to rise to the occasion to be the best version of yourself. Now, make no mistake, it is not your organization’s job to make you into a better man or woman, nor is it their job to pull you along and make you the man or woman that you ought to be. That responsibility lies within you. However, your organization will provide you the opportunity to become someone great, but only you can seize that opportunity. Nobody else can make that decision for you.  

You’ve been extended a bid based on your merits and your already high degree of character. What you do with these letters is up to you, but understand this much: the fraternity or sorority has taken a risk by giving you a bid. You have all the qualifications to be a part of this fraternity or sorority, that much is true, but the second you signed your bid, you began a journey towards a higher degree of moral values and endeavors. There’s a term to bear in mind that, as cliché as it may be, is probably one of the realest and most true things you will hear: the second you sign your bid, you are ALWAYS wearing your letters. It makes no difference if the clothes you wear give no indication that you are a member of this fraternity or sorority, your letters are fully on.

People will identify you as a member of _______, and you must be ready for the microscope to be on you, and carry yourself with the utmost honor and pride. If you make a mistake, people will not just say “so and so made a mistake”, no, now it’s “that ____ made a mistake”. If you get arrested, “that ____ got arrested”. Fraternity men, if you disrespect a woman, “that ____ is a pig” or worse “____s don’t respect woman”. To both fraternity men and sorority women, make sure to always respect yourselves. We live in a world of generalizations, and they can become negative faster than I can snap my fingers. However, it can just as easily be a positive thing. When you do the right thing, like volunteering to give your time to the community “those ____s care”, or simply something like holding a door, “____s are such nice people”. The possibilities and opportunities to shed a light of positivity on this organization and on yourselves are endless, but only if you choose to shine that light by your words, deeds, and actions. Remember, character is what you do when you think nobody is looking; make sure yours is always at its best, because you never know who may be watching. I challenge you to represent your fraternity or sorority in the best way possible.

My challenge doesn’t end there. I urge you to be aware, and avoid Regression to the Mean. This term isn’t a new one, especially if you’re a business or statistics major. However, Dr. Gentry McCreary recently applied it to fraternity and sorority life, and it holds true. Allow me to explain: Regression to the Mean suggests that if a data point is an extreme outlier on its first measurement, it will tend to be closer to the average on its second and subsequent measures. Now, how is this relevant towards fraternities?

Fraternities, especially today, are colonized, founded, succeed, implode, and shut down. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. You see, the young organizations recruit men and women based on the notion that they can be a part of something different, something that offers more than the other fraternities or sororities on campus, and stands for a higher degree or moral values. However, eventually, those organizations eventually graduate those who founded their chapters on this ideal, and they allow for the newer and newer members to take more leadership, naturally, and steer the chapter in the direction they see fit. You can be at the top of the world, winning awards from your university and national headquarters and so on. In a flash…it can all be taken away, as if it meant nothing. Before you know it, your chapter is closed for egregious hazing, or suspended for a banner that lacks tact, or on cease and desist for multiple alcohol violations or lewd behavior. There is no patient 0. These issues affect every organization across the nation, and they are based on choices that you must make moving forward to avoid. Don’t regress to the mean like other chapters have or will. Don’t think you have to keep up with the rest, to be the best. Your approach is true and just; don’t delineate from that path.

A part of that path is Academics. You are here for one reason: to get a college education. It’s not your organization’s job to make you go to class, it is yours. What matters more than any University or National award is that you graduate, and not only graduate, but do so with a high GPA. A Fortune 500 board member from Procter & Gamble once told me that when it boils down to it, an employer won’t care that your chapter got the Presidents Cup or Best Intramural Organization, or anything of the like that may be on your campus. What they look for is what YOU have done, and if you graduate with a high GPA, it shows that you invest yourself in something, and you put your best into it. If you graduate Cum Laude, Magna Cum Laude, or Summa Cum Laud, or with some kind of honors, THOSE are the things your employer will look at. Never lose sight of that. These awards will come and go, but on the day you graduate, nobody can take your GPA, your hard work, away from you. It is a part of you. It is something that will MATTER on your resume for the rest of your life. Above all else, put your grades first.

Challenge your chapter, including the actives, to be better than they were before you arrived. Start your own committees as a new member, organize a community service event, do a service project, do SOMETHING to make the world around you, your campus, your community, and so on, a better place. You have this amazing chance, this opportunity, this duty, as fraternity men and sorority women, to make the world a better place. Don’t leave that stone unturned. Those who have the ability to change the world, should, even if it’s just making a difference in the life of one, or one thousand. When you do so, when you work hard, when you push and inspire others around you to be better than they were before, you will reap the rewards. I guarantee it.

Now, onto a brighter piece of advice: have fun. Make the most of the opportunities that will yield you the greatest memories. You only get so many trips around the sun; make them count. The men and women who you have joined and who you will allow to join will be a part of one of the greatest experiences of your lives. Lean on them, and be there for them to lean on you. When life pushes you, trust that they will be there to push back with you, and be sure to return the favor. Learn from them. Be better than the ones who came before you, and encourage those who will follow you, to be even better than you. Always remember the B.A.L.L.S. approach: Be aware of your surroundings; Always use good judgement; Leave your best impression; Look after fellow brothers and sisters; Stay safe in all regards and keep others safe at all costs. You only have one life to live, you have to make it count, and you won’t be this young again when the dust settles and you leave this institution with a degree. Don’t let it pass you by; be smart when opportunity comes your way. Take a chance as long as your cause is a good one; fortune favors the bold. Don’t leave life, let alone these few years, wishing you’d done something differently. Make these memories the best they can be, and be the best you can be.

Make myself, and all other alumni and alumnae, as well as the actives, proud to be a part of Fraternity and Sorority Life. Don’t wait on opportunity at excellence, and don’t expect anyone to coddle you or pull you along the way. You’re only doing yourself a disservice. While you debate and wait to take advantage of your own opportunity, someone, somewhere, is seizing theirs. As I said before, you were extended a bid because you are already considered great; I dare you to be better, and to dare those around you and who may follow you to be better too. 

Thank you.

[colinblouin]

Your Fraternity and Sorority Advisor Hates You.

Dedicated to Allison Commings, a great mentor, and even more so, an exemplary person. Good luck at the University of Louisville; they’re lucky to have you.

When I first met my now former Director of Fraternity and Sorority Life, Allison, I was an undergraduate at the university, and a colony member, a potential founding father, of my fraternity. I knew nothing of the ins and outs of fraternity life, or fraternity and sorority life in general. I was learning as I went, faking it until I made it, to an extent, and simply, determined to get my chapter’s charter. Our encounters were brief, at best.

Part of my organization’s endeavors included fundraising to pay for the quite costly installation process for the chapter. To do so, we threw a “social event” of sorts. We hired out a venue complete with third party vendors in order to adhere to our risk management policy. Our promotion of the event itself is what caused a slight stir, as brothers marketed an open event, rather than a closed one. We learned rather quickly not to do such a thing, and changed our methods to adhere to closed-event standards, including an exclusive guest list, among other things. Needless to say, we caused some consternation between ourselves and the Office of Fraternity and Sorority Life.

Fast forward two years later, and I’ve gathered a much wider and in-depth breath of knowledge in regards to Fraternity and Sorority Life (especially risk management policies, event planning, and marketing). I look back, and think of the stress that Allison, our FSA at the time, was probably feeling. Months later she would speak at our installation banquet of how our chapter contributed to the university, and how she looked forward to its further contribution to the Fraternity and Sorority Life community, and Middle Tennessee State University community as a whole. Today, the chapter is one of the largest at the university, has the highest GPA of IFC fraternities, contributes countless philanthropy dollars and community service hours, and is hungry for more success, much like many of the organizations on our campus. 

Still, I look back at the stress in place during the time of our first social event, along with the many stresses I see that come our offices way on a regular basis, not just from a social event planning standpoint, but many others, and it’s lead me to one conclusion that some active members may blindly agree with, without reading any further: Your fraternity and sorority advisor hates you. This realization has motivated me to work harder for the sake of the students I serve, but to also emulate and make proud the very advisor who made me come to such a conclusion. 

Now, you’re probably wondering, why on earth would the realization that my FSA hated me not only motivate me, but give me something to aspire to? I can answer that simply by saying, it’s a dual sided coin, because what fuels that hate is, in fact, love. Your FSA hates you because you likely keep them up many hours on end, for many nights. They hate you when they have to initiate an investigation on your organization for hazing, because they so badly want to trust you to be the leaders you’re capable of being and passing on such traits and lessons through healthy practices. They hate you when your GPA doesn’t reflect your overall capabilities, and doesn’t quantify properly, your immense potential to be great men and women. They hate when you’re put in the news for the wrong reasons, be it the aforementioned cases, drunk driving, mishandled social events, etc., because they wish they could prevent such issues, keep you safe and sound, and keep you on the path to success, along with so much more.

Your FSA hates you because for every ten thousand philanthropy dollars raised and thousands of community service hours earned, such accomplishments can be completely overshadowed by one single poor decision on you or your chapter’s behalf. Such hatred isn’t necessarily aimed at you as a person, quite the contrary actually, it’s aimed at your poor decisions which are forced to be associated with you, because they want so badly for you to be lifted up for all the good you do for your community, the world, and so much more. Your FSA hates you because they would do anything for you, and you probably don’t even realize it. They provide numerous educational opportunities and countless resources to you, ready to be utilized if you so much as ask or seek them out, and yet still, we have men and women who don’t live up to their full potential on both a local and national level. The old adage “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink”, is a hated phrase by your FSA, because it’s all too true. You’re stubborn, you’re, at times, reckless, and you think small and narrowly more often then not.

You may ask, how can I make such a claim? Because I was you. Hindsight is 20/20, and I look back at some of the things that I or my fellow fraternity men and sorority women went through during our time as active members, and it all makes sense. To the actives, you may not know what I’m talking about. To the alumni and alumnae, you may not either, but then again, you may very well know exactly what I’m talking about or referring to, and you may nod in agreement. I had to grow and mature right before my FSA’s very eyes before I could come to such a realization.

So, with that being said, back to Allison, the person that made me realize all this. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen her in the office from 9am to 9pm, or later. She put forth the work, and she never did so for any kind of achievement or recognition - she did so out of sheer drive and a commitment to the students she oversaw (whether they knew it or not). She put forth countless hours of behind the scenes work to help students reach their full potential be it late nights, weekends, holidays, breaks, and so much more. Her office was always open to students in need (however, if you ever just stopped by to have a casual talk with Allison, you were in for one hell of a great conversation). She made an impact on every student she advised; every council member, every chapter president, every new member, and anyone and everyone in between, including employees. Her insight was unparalleled, and her professionalism was always present; if you never got to experience her humor, you missed out.

For all the things I can say to brag on Allison as my Director of Fraternity and Sorority Life, and as my former boss, there isn’t enough I could say to adequately demonstrate how much she cared for the students. I’ve seen a woman visibly shaken by a chapters hazing incidents, poor decisions of individuals, poor decisions of chapters, and anything and everything that happens in the national framework of Fraternity and Sorority Life. Still, with such resolve, she would be back at it the next day, working to make our community the best it could be, and helping our men and women within the fraternity and sorority community to be the best they, individually, could be. The job itself is a brutal one, because it tests your merit. It puts you directly at risk of watching students you care about, potentially make poor decisions. You have to have thick skin, and still press on to do whatever you can to help the students and community be better than what they were yesterday.

Allison embodied the five values of Middle Tennessee State University Fraternity and Sorority Life perfectly. She was a leader, striving to educate and advise the students in order to help them become better men and women. While she was paid to be a university employee, she still volunteered so much more of herself than what the job required, to ensure that she could give all that she had to offer to the community. She socialized with professionalism and insight, making herself available to students, even after office hours if need be, for the sake of bettering the community. She provided countless resources to help the students of the community excel academically, but also personally. Finally, she set the standard, whether students realized it or not; she cares more for the students she interacts with than they may realize.

We put her through so much, and yet, still, she was there to help and do whatever possible to ensure that the community flourished, and to better the students who had the fortune of working with her or were advised by her. As active members, many will make poor decisions, or do things that make the administration, parents, and many more, shake their heads. Allison was and is, a resilient person, determined to advance the cause and values of Fraternity and Sorority, in spite of all the things that have taken place in the Fraternity and Sorority Life community, both locally and nationally, to negate the hard work and actions of people like herself. She was realistic, and yet idealistic, because as hard as the job may have been, or may be, she approached it with enthusiasm. She was inspiring. She was a great mentor to me, she still is, and I’m lucky to call her a friend.

Maybe I got the title wrong. Your FSA doesn’t hate you. They just want you to be the best you can possibly be, and when you’re not, they hurt because they see so much potential in you. The truth is, your fraternity and sorority advisor cares more for you than you may know. The least you could do, for all the work you don’t see them putting in behind the scenes, is make them proud by being the best you could possibly be. Looking back, I know that’s all Allison wanted of me as a student, as a worker, and as a person. That’s what I intend to strive for.

[colinblouin]

First Post: "We had a hell of a run."

"We had a hell of a run."

Those were the words I read, submitted in a tweet, by a member of the Pi Kappa Phi chapter at MTSU, about an hour after I found out that the chapter had its charter pulled by its Headquarters in conjunction with the University Administration. All this, following an investigation that revealed instances of hazing throughout the chapter's new member education program, and providing alcohol to minors.

"We had a hell of a run."

For some reason those words hurt me. I wasn't a member of the chapter. As a member of Phi Delta Theta, they may not have been my Brothers in the Bond, but they were my brothers in the common belief of fraternity. Their loss hurt me because I had friends within that chapter. Just because I wasn't a part of it, didn't mean I didn't see great men go through its ranks. However, it is said that tragedy most often occurs when great men fail to act.

"We had a hell of a run."

It was a phrase suggesting that action was taken where there, in fact, was inaction. Great men didn't stop acts that they knew to be wrong, but more importantly, illegal. They lived with their priorities misplaced compared to what they should have and could have been. Recently, the MTSU Fraternity and Sorority Life presidents and vice-presidents had the privilege of taking part in an IMPACT Leadership Retreat. One of the key take-aways from the event was the begging of the question of where the priorities stood within the Fraternity and Sorority Life community itself on MTSU's campus. The enlightening and humbling moment came when the group arrived at the realization that they were the following: social, letters, ritual. In that order. The educational moment came when the students realized that the order was backwards, compared to what it should be. The order should have been ritual, the values that created the very foundations that our organizations were founded upon, letters, the banner we unite under as members of our organizations, and social, the privilege we gain from such affiliation. We were backwards, and the realization came from the mouthes our own presidents and vice-presidents of the organizations themselves. It was later reflected in the unfortunate outcome of the Pi Kappa Phi chapter, but also in the tweet that stuck with me.

Such a tweet stuck with me, because it suggested that the "run" so to speak, in the member's fraternal career, was a good one. Make no mistake, knowing that your chapter was removed from campus, and that when it comes back, that you cannot re-affiliate with said chapter when and if it returns, is not "a hell of a run". A hell of a run is knowing that you're a part of an organization for life, and in good standing. It's being able to wear its colors with pride upon graduation day. It's being able to come back to that chapter as an alumni, and impart wisdom if necessary, but also feeling a sense of nostalgia and pride, knowing that you created or built upon the foundation for which the chapter flourishes or grows. It's the feeling you get when you meet another brother or sister, whether it's nearby or across the nation, or even across the world, and knowing that in fraternity or sorority, you have a bond that is almost indescribable. It's knowing that when your time comes, you can enter into what my fraternity refers to as Chapter Grand (the diseased brothers) with pride and distinction, or whatever your organization may refer to it as. Being a part of these organizations doesn't make you a member for 4 (or 5) years, it makes you a member for life; but all of this can be undone by a failure to act, a failure to institute change, and as such, bad standing with your national organization. Make no mistake, this is not "a hell of a run".

It pains me to see the young men going through what they are going through today, with a sense of loss for our fraternal community, but also a sense of loss for the brothers themselves. One was a member of the Interfraternity Council as Vice President of Recruitment; I'd worked with him on potential bylaws changes to make recruitment of new members a better process for our fraternal community on campus. Another member was the past Vice President of Scholarship on the Interfraternity Council, a friend of mine, and someone who contributed vastly to not only his own chapter, but to the campus as a whole. Yet here we are, displaced in a sense, because both whom I consider good men, "men of class" as Pi Kappa Phi would distinguish them through their education program, are without a chapter for the time being. They've been moved to alumni status, but being an alumni only carries so much weight when your home chapter no longer exists.

Another thing that pains me is the actions of the ignorant, the allegations, and the jump to conclusions. There exists a page known as "MTSU Greek Alumni" and some of the foolishness I see on it makes me wonder if the people who post such ignorance to its threads have delusions of grandeur, or if they actually believe in the "good ole days" as if those times still exist. Some accuse the school administration of being on a "witch hunt" to end Greek life on MTSU's campus. They claim that our organizations go unsupported by the administration, a claim that is unfounded and can clearly be disproved when you look at the actions and experiences between the administration and Fraternity and Sorority Community. Just last year, Deb Sells, MTSU's Vice President for Student Affairs spoke with our various chapter leaders at our first annual FSL Officer Academy. This action is not the one of an administrator who does not care about the well-being and success of our students within the FSL Community.

The truth is, we look for a scape-goat. It's human nature to point the finger at any theory or person we can, because it's hardest to point the finger at ourselves, but upon talking to a couple of the brothers, some have taken a more mature response than even the "MTSU Greek Alumni" are willing to take, a far better stance than "We had a hell of a run", and that stance is simple: "We made a mistake, and we did nothing to stop it." Yes, the young men of Pi Kappa Phi shoulder much of the blame, because their chapter is now closed, suspended for 3 years from campus. The truth is, hazing rarely occurs without some sort of tradition to drive it, meaning, hazing exacerbates itself over time; it starts like a snowball, and only grows as it rolls down the hill, and no force opposes it. There are many alumni whom may have started, or worse, failed to stop the "traditions" that quite possibly led to the actions that resulted in the pulling of a charter. They are to blame. Lack of an alumni oversight is to blame. Those who cling to "glory-days" are to blame. 

Some alumni refer to their time in college as the "glory-days" of our FSL Community, and I would gladly tell them this mind set is wrong. The students of today should feel no need to live as if they are the students of a past generation. In all actuality, our objective first and foremost should be to live with the ritual and precepts that our founders built the framework of our organizations on. The "glory-days" were in 1848, 1897, and many other years long ago, that changed the lives of generations to come. They were the glory-days of intellectuals, great men and women whom came together to unite over shared values and goals, and created something for the men and women of our FSL Community that is bigger than themselves. Just because the experience now is different than it was back then, does not make it wrong. What is wrong is those who refuse to accept blame for the actions that result when a chapter is removed from our campus. What is wrong is when fraternity or sorority members take part in illegal action, and in doing so, must face the consequences of such action. What is wrong is alumni, not accepting that their lack of oversight, or worse, that the traditions they may have started, the snowballs they may have pushed down the hill, led to, or can lead to, this; sometimes in the name of or desires for "glory-days". Above all, what is wrong, is the failure to accept responsibility on either side, whether you're an alumni or an active. We all play a role in either the success of our organizations, or their failures. You can accept your responsibility, and say you passed your organization to the next generation, greater than it was transmitted to yourself, or you can refuse your responsibility, and you can say "We had one hell of a run."