colloydweek

[colloydweek]

The falling snow tells us, our love makes us strong

Months after escaping Welgaia, Lloyd Aurion and Colette Brunel are on the run from Cruxis. But a brief rest in Flanoir has them considering an important question: Why not get married?

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters: Lloyd Irving/Colette Brunel, Altessa, Pronyma, Genis Sage Rating: T Word Count: 11,232 Mirror: AO3 Notes: It's Colloyd Day! So here is the art and fic collab me and @frayed-symphony have been working on for our Cruxis Lloyd AU. More notes about this fic are on the AO3 mirror. Thank you to everyone who joined in on today's event too! ✨

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When they had arrived at Flanoir, it was the very first time that Lloyd had ever seen snow.

They hadn’t had much time to really explore the area, already searching for an inn. That and Lloyd had been looking at every passerby with suspicion. It was routine for Cruxis to instill agents into towns, but none gave them more than a passing glance. It was just the two of them, like any couple visiting for a holiday—or perhaps any pair of travelers embarking on a pilgrimage.

He thought he could even see the spire points of a cathedral, far ahead…

“Hey, Lloyd!”

He turned, a little wired from their travels but trying to shake it away. “Huh?”

“Here!” Colette giggled as she held out her cupped hands to him. Within those hands was snow she must have gathered as they walked into the town, pure white and just so cold. He could see her shiver from the touch, but she seemed to relish it. Her smile was ecstatic, the flush on her cheeks as pretty to him as the sunrise on this world.

Tentatively, he held out his hands, accepting the snow from her as it slid down from her palms to his. “Uh, what do I do with it?”

“You can use it to make a snowman. Or even a snowball!” She tilted her head, looking at the drifting flakes around them. “At least, that’s what the child from before told me, hehe. I don’t have much snow where I come from either.”

Lloyd looked down, already feeling so cold that his hands were becoming numb. Even though he still wore his gloves, his Exsphere winking from its place on the back of his left hand, he could still feel the chill wind cutting through the fabric—and still feel the warmth of Colette’s cheeks whenever he touched them.

He grinned, packing the snow more firmer between his palms. “I think I read about this once. You gotta make it like this!”

And before Colette could ask him, Lloyd had somehow made the snowball into a doggy-shaped snow sculpture instead. It had a snout, two floppy ears, and even a tail, indicated by the small nudges in the snow. It had been carved with dextrous fingers, its simplicity belying the little details Lloyd had accomplished with it.

“Wow! How did you…?”

“Pretty cool, huh?” Lloyd said with a smile, then carefully handed it to her. “It’s…probably gonna fall apart if you so much as breathe on it, but it’s for you!”

The little doggy did look as frail as anything, already a few flakes off the top of its head blowing along with the wind. But Colette held the snowdog carefully in her hands, cupping it just so that it could be safe, as well as comfortable.

Lloyd couldn’t help but be in awe at her consideration for what was just a silly thing he made. He chuckled slightly. “You don’t have to be that careful, Colette. I don’t want you to have to keep that thing around while we walk.”

At his words, Colette raised her head, blinking curiously. “But you made it for me, Lloyd. I’d like to keep it for a little longer, if that’s okay.”

Lloyd instantly flushed. Now he worried that he sounded like he was blaming her for her caution. “I mean, you still can! Just… uh, never mind.” Sometimes he still spoke so awkwardly… and maybe it was because someone like Colette was right in front of him, caring for something that wasn’t even a living creature.

She smiled at him, holding up the snow doggy, marveling at the little details that were already in danger of melting away. “He kinda looks like the dog you have… Noishe, right?”

Lloyd swallowed, remembering Noishe, shocked almost at how much he missed those high whines of him. “Heh, yeah. I guess I was thinking about him.”

Colette nodded. “Me too.” Her gaze lifted to the far south, past the snow-coated stairs that led further into town. “I heard this place had some famous ice sculptures. Maybe we can put Snoishe there and he can be with friends!”

Lloyd almost hadn’t caught it, waiting a full three seconds before asking Colette, “Snoishe?”

“Oh!” Colette giggled and flushed as well, the redness in her cheeks matching prettily with her hair. “Hehe, that’s what I named this little doggy. Is that too weird?”

“No way! It’s…it’s cute.” Lloyd brushed away the snowflakes from his hair, feeling it grow damp. Or maybe he just needed something to do with his hands. He could always make another snow dog. “Want to see those ice sculptures then?”

And as they climbed the stairs, Colette still holding her precious doggy charge while Lloyd made sure she wouldn’t slip on any icy surface, he couldn’t help but feel warm, even in such a cold place.

He hoped they’d stay safe here, at least for a little while.

.

.

.

Because it was only just a few days before, when they’d have to lay low within a strange home carved into the mountainside within the dark, hoping no one would track them down.

Hoping Cruxis had long lost their scent and was now searching for scraps of their existence.

Lloyd remembered heavy footfalls coming through the open door, his nerves still on high-alert. But Colette’s hand in his grip didn’t tighten, didn’t flinch at their visitor. He willed himself to calm down, raising his head towards the dwarf.

“Is it alright to come near?” asked Altessa.

“Uh, yeah,” Lloyd answered. He tightened his fingers around Colette’s, feeling nothing back. Both of them sat on a bed, the guest bedroom a generous offering from their host. “She won’t do anything.”

And how many people could Lloyd say would ever take in those such as them; a boy who knew so little of the worlds below, and a girl who couldn’t speak, couldn’t laugh or cry, but only gaze ahead?

The dwarf entered the room, his eyes hidden beneath heavy brows, his beard trailing nearly to the floor. Back in Welgaia, Lloyd had never seen a dwarf, had barely even known about their existence except in books. But ever since he and Colette had escaped, Lloyd had seen so many things, so many different people that were not just the impassive faces of angels.

He looked to what Altessa was holding in his grip. “What is…”

It glinted in the lamplight. At first glance, it looked like a necklace, but the characters written into it were so ancient that even Lloyd could barely read it. A looped chain trailed from the fashioned piece of metal, the links made in it so miniscule. It seemed that even a good tug would rip the thing apart, but Lloyd recalled what Kratos told him about dwarven craftsmanship.

“The Rune Crest, by what you and that girl from Mizuho were able to give me. The old Key Crest still lives on in this.” Altessa held the accessory facing upwards, and Lloyd remembered the red jewel that had been a part of the Key Crest that Colette used to own. He couldn’t help but notice how the jewel was the same color as Colette’s eyes...

“It was still very good work, with a strong foundation and a knowledge of the craft.” Altessa gave a nod, or Lloyd assumed he did. It was hard to tell through the thicket of hair that made up much of the dwarf’s face. “But without the right ingredients, such a necklace would have only stalled the inevitable. Was it yours?”

Lloyd hadn’t expected the question, momentarily stunned as if he had been struck over the head. “Uh–I, um…” He looked away, rubbing a thumb over Colette’s skin. “Another dwarf made it. Back in Sylvarant. His name is Dirk. I don’t know how to make things like that.”

Dirk had also been one of the first people Lloyd had met since escaping Welgaia. A man with a loud laugh, a shorter beard than Altessa’s, but his eyes had been more open, more friendly to his and Colette’s plight despite barely knowing them. He was also an old friend of Kratos.

How did dad even meet a guy like him? But it was a question he wasn’t getting an answer out of anytime soon. Kratos had been gone, continually trying to throw Cruxis off their trail. There had been no guarantee if he’d even see his father again, a father he still felt he barely knew.

Lloyd rubbed a hand over his forehead, feeling dizzy. Feeling oddly alone. Because Colette still wouldn’t hold back his hand.

“Ya haven’t eaten or slept in hours, boy,” spoke Altessa once more, his voice as gruff as rocks being grounded to a fine dust. “Let Tabatha treat you to some dinner, and I will work on affixing the Rune Crest.”

“Huh? But, I’m fine.” Yet even as he said it, he was already swaying, losing his balance, and—

And Colette held onto his hand, swiftly. To keep him from tumbling to the floor.

Lloyd stiffened, suddenly so wide awake. Any of the fatigue had vanished with a faint hope that was already lightening his chest. He quickly turned to Colette, who sat on his left side. “Colette? Are you–?”

When they had left Welgaia, they had only the clothes on their back. Seeing Colette against the soft lantern lights that hung from the wooden beams overhead, she still wore her Chosen outfit, white trimmed in a light blue that turned dusky in the atmosphere. Her hair still held a golden shine, and her other hand was placed limply over her lap.

Yet even as she held onto Lloyd, Colette only continued to look ahead, her eyes steeped in red emptiness. Her wings, also, were framed behind her like a faded stained-glass window.

In every other aspect, she didn’t move. She didn’t speak. She sat there, frozen, like a sculpture.

Had it only been reflex? Was it foolish for him to think it had been more? Lloyd felt the sudden hope in him melt away.

He felt another hand press against his shoulder, roughly. Fingers kneaded through the fabric to grab his attention. But he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Colette just yet.

“Does this mean she’s still in there?” he asked Altessa.

The dwarf took a moment to form his answer. That silence was already enough to tell Lloyd what he thought. Still, he spoke, “Many who succumb to their Exspheres react on their motor skills alone. She also has that ancient sickness.”

Lloyd knew what he meant. The patches of green crystal were still present on her, reaching up to her cheeks. It had worsened since when they first met.

There was always a chance that Altessa’s craftsmanship might not be enough.

“Go now. Or you will distract me from my work.”

You’re useless here. Lloyd heard the meaning between the words. He couldn’t deny it.

Lloyd stood up finally, letting go of Colette’s hand. Her fingers slipped from his so easily, her hand going to join with the other in her lap.

Maybe it had just been reflex, after all.

Lloyd left the room, his stomach hurting, and only hoped that Altessa could cure all of their problems.

.

.

.

It wasn’t long after they visited the ice sculptures, and Colette had placed little Snoishe next to one that was called Bigfoot, (and seemed kind of intimidating… Did these kind of monsters really live on the worlds below?) that Lloyd noticed something. Even though they were still outside, the snowfall not lessening, and the chill continuing to make them shiver, Colette started to take off her gloves. First by the top right of her left hand, pulling at the fabric until it was free.

When they had left Welgaia, her crystallis had worsened, taking over that certain hand completely, encased in glass that looked in danger of breaking into pieces at any moment. Though she kept up her smile, it was clear that she was in pain, her fingers too stiff to even move, the skin always threatening to crack.

But now her hand was clear of any crystal. She could flex her fingers into her palm. The only memory of the crystal left were a few lines of scars here and there, a dim pale white against peach.

With both ungloved hands, she cupped them to her mouth, breathing out. To warm them. 

He must have stared for too long, for she caught his gaze, her head raised and her blue eyes catching the brief sunlight that could pierce through the thick clouds. Her smile made him waver a bit, made him clear his throat as he tried to cover up the embarrassment.

“Hey, um, if you’re too cold we can go inside somewhere,” he said, hoping his voice wasn’t as shaky as it sounded in his ears. “We can try staying at one of those inns you mentioned before.”

Colette once again moved her fingers, blowing out another warm breath that turned to mist in the air. She paused, looking at her hands with curiosity.

This got Lloyd to worry, a frenzy of thoughts rushing through his head. Was there suddenly a lost sensation? Did the crystal sickness come back? He walked up to her before he could think. “Colette?

And then, without any hesitation, she reached for his own hand, clasping his right together with both of her own.

Lloyd stopped, flushed deeply, but said nothing else.

“I really am cold,” Colette said, but she said so with such joy that he could feel it in the way she gripped his hands, and could see it in the turn of her smile. Snowflakes caught onto her eyelashes, only some of it falling away with a blink. “And I’m so, so glad. I also feel my own breath when I try to warm them, and I can feel you now! I was so worried I wouldn’t be able to again…”

They hadn’t really talked about it before, their rush from Altessa’s home before Cruxis could find them again overtaking their thoughts. But Lloyd rushed a thumb over Colette’s own, feeling her shiver, then clasping their hands more tightly together.

“I promise you’ll never have to go through that again.” Another brief gust of wind blew past them, whipping up their cloaks around their bodies. Lloyd shuddered a bit at how the cold bit at his ears. “And, I think we should definitely head inside somewhere. I don’t want you to suddenly get sick just after getting your sense of touch back.”

Colette giggled, taking his grip more firmly, entwining their fingers together while she let one of her hands fall to her side. “Can we keep holding hands as we walk? If that’s okay.”

Lloyd did all he could to not grin like an idiot, but by the stretch of his cheeks, he had already failed hard. He didn’t care. “Heh, yeah, I’ll keep you warm then! You can count on me!”

If he had been back in Welgaia, someone (like Kratos) would have told him to tone down his voice. How one didn’t need to shout, or show such emotions so freely. But Colette absorbed his excitement with a glow on her face, giggling along with him as they went back to the stairs that led to the different levels of the town. 

Lloyd tried to recall where the inn was exactly. Didn’t we pass by it before? He was about to lead them down, until Colette gave a little tug with their interlocked hands. 

“Hey, Lloyd. Do you see that? It looks so beautiful.”

She was looking upwards, just past a lamppost they were standing under, the light inside its glass container flickering. He followed her gaze, past the light, blinking away the snowflakes that flurried around them both.

It was only then that Lloyd suddenly realized how close they were to that cathedral, its spires reaching high into the rapidly darkening sky. Though it was up another flight of stairs, he could now clearly see its architecture. Dark stone cut walls that steeply climbed, its rooftops covered in several inches of snow. But what made it fascinating were the myriad of colors that reflected off its many windows. From sharp crimson to ever gentle green, and what little left of the sunlight making such colors shimmer before them. 

It was beautiful, and yet also so familiar. In Vinheim, Lloyd was sure he’d seen such similar designs too. He saw the shapes of people pass by it, some going through its great double doors, hearing the wood creak. 

“I know what it is now,” Colette spoke softly, catching his attention. She kept their hands clasped, even as she looked further away at the structure. “There’s another church similar to this back in Sylvarant, so grand and wonderful. A place where you could pray to Martel. I know it’s made by Cruxis, but…” 

Lloyd heard the strange note in her voice, a mixture of emotion he wasn’t sure he could identify. Sadness? Or pain? Maybe even anger at all the lies Cruxis had fed her all her life? “Colette… If it’s too much, we can leave this place. We’ll find another town to rest in.”

“No, that’s not…” She shook her head. He noticed how the flush rose in her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Lloyd. But, it’s not that I’m unhappy seeing this. It’s, well, it actually reminded me that I wanted to ask you something…”

He didn’t understand just yet, but he wanted to. He wanted to learn more about Colette, as eager as a starving man stranded in the wilderness. Because that’s what all these years had felt like without her; empty and weary, but her face broke the pattern of the gray stillness he had long been used to.

Maybe it showed in Lloyd’s face, his desperation, until Colette’s eyes met with his. She held his hands gently, as she did with that silly snow dog he had made, unaware he had crafted it in the shape of Noishe. Is Noishe okay with Dirk? he asked himself, remembering seeing his dog, once his only friend, comfortable in the makeshift stable the dwarf had created for him, as if the place had always been his home.

Then, Colette lifted up his hand, still encased in his glove. It had been too cold for him to remove it like he did with hers. He wasn’t used to this weather, to the changing seasons as with everything else that made up both Sylvarant and Tethe’alla. 

She held up his hand by the fingers, his knuckles then pressed against her lips. She did it softly, the warmth of it rushing through the fabric, making his chest tighten and his heart beat rapidly. Suddenly, his face felt hot, despite all the snow.

It took him a moment or two to realize that she had just kissed his hand. He didn’t even know what to say.

Back in Altessa’s home, underneath the night sky, he had also felt this same sensation when she…

Underneath the softly flickering lamplight, as the snows fell around them both, Colette finally asked her question.

.

.

.

“Keep her hidden,” Kratos had told Lloyd on his brief visit—so brief, Lloyd could barely remember if his father had mentioned anything else. “And don’t bring attention to yourself.”

On Welgaia, before they had made their escape, Lloyd had rarely left his room. He made sure to keep the door locked, and to sneak away food from the nearby supply machines. Arms full of gels, of fruits and vegetables, and other packaged assortments that he had never seen another angel ever eat. But just like with the coffee from before, he shared such treats with Colette, who stayed huddled in the blankets of his bed.

Lloyd tried to get rid of the nervousness of having another person in his room, messy as it was. Just his bed and some sparse furniture, along with a few plants he had focused on to grow underneath artificial lights. She didn’t seem to mind though, especially as Noishe had nuzzled her cheek with affection, his tail wagging at the excitement. It was probably one of the first times Lloyd had ever seen Noishe not balk or whine at the concept of a new person hanging around.

Colette, sitting on his bed and wrapped in blankets, had been busy scratching behind Noishe’s ears before Lloyd relayed her the news. The crystal over her arm had slipped past her sleeves. She unconsciously pulled it back down, hiding it from sight.

“Mr. Kratos was here?” she had asked him.

“Yeah…for a little bit.” He scratched the back of his neck, taking a roll of bread from the stash he brought, and taking a big bite from it. “I don’t know what he’s up to though. He never really tells me anything if he can help it.” He swallowed, then offered the other half of his meal. “Want some?”

Colette nodded, her own bites a small nibble in comparison, as if she didn’t want to intrude too much on this offered food item. She made a curious noise in his throat. “This tastes a little strange…”

“Huh? Is it bad?” He was sure the bread hadn’t gone stale… It physically couldn’t, unless the machine was broken.

“No, not bad… just different. Maybe because it’s not made the way our bread is back on Sylvarant.” She tilted her head. “Or…are my senses being strange again?”

Lloyd didn’t know. If Kratos was still here, he could have probably asked him, but his father never stayed in one place for so long. “It’s probably because it’s, uh, synthetic? I think that’s the right word. Hey, I can just get us more food though!” With a quick gulp of a gel, Lloyd got up, then wagged a finger at Noishe. “Don’t eat the gels, Noishe. They’re bad for you. Too much sugar!”

A soft plaintive whine, followed by Colette giggling besides the furry creature. “Can I feed him some of these sausages then?”

“Well… just a little!” Lloyd answered as if he never snuck his dog a pile of sausage slices himself. “But try to stay quiet in case anyone’s around. I’ll be back!”

Colette nodded, smiling at him. “Okay. You be careful, too.” She said so while still wrapped in his blankets, her hair shining brightly, even in the dimness of his room.

He had only known her for a few days, keeping her in his room. She had slept for so many hours, catching up on the rest she had sorely missed during her sickness. She saw her yawn a bit, and was certain she’d take another nap again.

No one else had ever slept in his bed before. Noishe didn’t count.

Lloyd left quietly, letting the door, powered by magitechnology, whoosh past him to slide shut. He left the hallway, finally making it out of one of the many empty buildings for the supply machines.

Welgaia had always been a place filled with silence, the air charged from remembered encounters. It wasn’t like Lloyd talked with people every day—sometimes not even for weeks at a time. The entire population was filled with other angels who barely spoke, who barely moved a muscle, letting their wings take them where they needed to go. They never even needed to blink.

Lloyd brushed past some of these angels, who conversed with each other only when it concerned with their duties (“Lord Yggdrasill has stated retrieval of the Chosen as our top priority.” “The warp pad is currently at 70 percent efficiency. Repairs are forthcoming.”) Few barely gave him a glance. It seemed these angels weren’t given the information that it had been up to Lloyd to find the Chosen.

He was so glad none of them had the capacity to be curious enough to ask.

His wings dissipated as he flew towards a platform for a familiar machine—one that should work and not be close to breaking down like a few others. Lloyd always wondered if all the machines suddenly stopped working, would he just starve? No one else seemed to ever need to use these. 

It won’t matter once we leave, he thought, fiddling with the buttons and dials, until he felt a presence near him.

He didn’t even need to hear her speak to know who it was.

“You again.”

Lloyd, with half an orange gel in his mouth from his latest stash, turned around quickly to face her. Keep an eye on your surroundings, Kratos had told him. If his dad had been watching right now, he would have given him a failing grade.

He had met Pronyma enough times, as she tended to visit Welgaia. The lady was hard to miss. Her attire did all it could to make an entrance, the fanning blades of her armor now enclosed around her, like a shield of metal. But Lloyd knew if anyone got close enough, those same blades would reach outward, impaling anyone who came too close.

Lloyd didn’t remember this exactly—but Kratos had mentioned how at seven years old, he had nearly gone too close to the woman, wandering to her in curiosity. Kratos still sported a scar across his forearm when he had shielded Lloyd quickly from the attack. “Said she never liked children,” Kratos had said, his tone completely humorless. Even though it had happened years ago, Lloyd had never seen his father so quietly angry.

She wasn’t as close to him now, but her dark eyes, painted in kohl, riveted onto him, as well as onto the several gels he was holding in his right palm. No one really hung out around the food dispenser he was at—he was still one of the only people here who regularly ate food. Or gels.

Then again, Pronyma wasn’t an angel. Does she actually use these?

“You… need something?” Lloyd mumbled in confusion, still chewing on his gel.

At that, Pronyma snorted in disgust. “So, you still talk with your mouth full, I see.” Then a smile, her lips cutting across her face in a dark line. “Lord Yggdrasill is truly so merciful.”

It was more than just her words—her tone was biting into him. But Lloyd held back any remarks he was tempted to make. Kratos had told him not to, that and the gel did effectively keep him from talking too much.

Even after all this time, Lloyd knew so little about Pronyma, or what exactly her role was besides being a Grand Cardinal. It was also so rare to see her on her own, usually so attached Yggdrasill’s side, like some loyal dog.

And like a dog, she obeyed her master’s commands, punishing Lloyd to the fullest. His side still ached from the last time.

Frustrated she was still here, Lloyd pointedly turned away. “I have to go,” he said.

He didn’t see her expression, but her tone did all the imagining for him. “Oh? Does this mean you actually have your other duties to attend to, besides stuffing your face? Or that you will finally do what Lord Yggdrasill has ordered of you?”

Find the Chosen. Find Colette. And bring her to Lord Yggdrasill.

He would never follow through on that last command.

Gritting his teeth, he turned back—and that was when Pronyma moved a fraction closer.

Lloyd did all he could to not relinquish any space to her. She was his same height, but her demeanor made her more intimidating than even Yggdrasill at times. “Each of Lord Yggdrasill’s servants have their tasks. You’d do well to remember that.”

He never understood why she seemed to hate him so much.

At that point, Lloyd couldn’t help it. “I’m not his lackey,” he said, and that unlocked even more from him. “I’m not like you!”

He inwardly winced. That was a mistake.

Pronyma frowned immediately, uncrossing her arms. She just barely floated in the air, the tips of her steel-toed heels hovering only an inch above the floor. She floated towards him again.

Lloyd instinctively unsheathed one of his swords, practically hearing Kratos’ reprimanding voice in his head the very second he did so. Another mistake.

“And what exactly do you expect to do with that?” she asked him. She leaned over, Lloyd unsure whether to raise his sword or put it away, and instead held it mid-level. Her smile was so cruel and poisonous, that he tried not to look at it. But there wasn’t much elsewhere to retreat to. It seemed like she blocked any reasonable path of escape.

It was the same smile she had given when she attacked him on Yggdrasill’s orders. Cruel and vindictive, and oddly joyous at him failing to do anything else.

She saw him hesitate. She deftly knocked the sword aside with her heavy mace she was suddenly holding, the metal glinting a bright gold in its arc.

The quick motion had made him drop it. His grip had been lax, his nerves had been shaky. And his mouth still tasted of the orange gel. 

“I could very much report to Lord Yggdrasill that you are causing trouble again, ignoring your task . It would be simple, since you already do so often enough.” Then, surprisingly, she moved back.

Lloyd found himself breathing again. He hadn’t before?

With a bored shrug, she was turning away again. There were different parts of Welgaia, and the hint of violet above for what served as their ‘skies’ was broiling, more evident out here, more aware that Yggdrasill’s domain was not far ahead.

“The Chosen must be retrieved soon. Surely you remember that.” She said the words in nearly a hiss. “Or do you wish for your father to die?”

The words sent a brief flash of rage through him. Rage and contempt. His father had been under their noses, had even visited Lloyd, and Pronyma still had no clue. Or she wouldn’t be talking so easily about Kratos with that awful smile on her face.

“You can’t even find him like you can’t find the Chosen!” he shot back. “So do I even have anything to worry about?”

Immediately he felt a backhand across his face. The force was so strong he thought he had been hit with a boulder. He stumbled, hitting the side of the machine roughly, hearing the metal dent and crack.

And when he raised his head, Pronyma’s smile was gone. Her teeth were bared, and her eyes suddenly looked so dark and furious.

“Impudent little pest. You’ve been on such good behavior, even agreeing to follow on your latest orders. And yet, you would go and ruin all that?” She then grabbed Lloyd’s chin, bringing him around to face her again.

“H-Hey! What are you—?”

“Be quiet, Son of Kratos. Pure filth. All your little rebellious attempts have given you nothing. A pity you simply can’t be executed along with your miserable traitor of a father, but Mithos saw there was more use for you. I won’t question him. My Lord knows best.”

The shock and discomfort he was feeling was soon overtaken by confusion. “Mithos?”

Pronyma’s eyes widened.

“You called him—”

“Shut up.”

She tightened her grip, nails digging into his skin. He reflexively reached for her wrist to pull away—but it was like she was made of stone. “Let me go!”

“Did you forget your other sword?”

She pushed him away before he could respond. Lloyd stumbled, his back hitting the machine again . Though he flinched, he tried to keep his eyes open. He could already feel his wings start to form to each side of him, his emotions still running high.

Any of the previous shock from before had left Pronyma’s face. Instead, she smiled once more. A cold expression, her lips in a thin line. “Or maybe Yggdrasill’s lesson has rubbed off on you. I will be sure to give him the good news.”

With that, she vanished, lines of shadow cutting through her image before she fully faded away. Lloyd had already turned away by then, looking towards his fallen sword.

Dammit. He winced, trying to stand, his face now feeling sensitive. Guess that could have gone worse.

Lloyd attempted to get back to getting more of the food from the machine until he took another look at it. It was almost half-destroyed, the front glass of it cracked, and the buttons dislodged. Electricity sparked from its sides. 

It was completely broken, another machine left to decay in this already dead world. Lloyd sighed, looking at the few orange gels he had managed to snag before the end. 

At least he and Colette wouldn’t starve just yet.

He couldn’t even remember the journey back, his motions almost mechanical. A quick flight past other angels who still didn’t give him a glance, a turn into an empty structure, then unlocking his door. The orange gels already felt too warm in his hands, and he sighed at his incompetence of even doing this single thing right.

“Hey, Colette. Sorry, I wasn’t really able to get much…”

He stopped when he heard a startled gasp. Raising his head, he saw how Colette had already left her cocoon of blankets, rushing up to him.

“Lloyd! Your face…”

“Huh?” He pressed two fingers gingerly against his cheek, then winced. Ugh. If it already hurt this much, he could only imagine how bad the bruise must have been. “Sorry, I just…got caught off guard.”

Colette still looked at him with that worried expression. She reached out her hand—the one where the crystal had spread up past her wrist—and then hesitated. Yet, it was only for a second, for she then pressed her hand against his cheek so gently, so softly. 

Lloyd felt sensitive at being touched, but it didn’t spark any new pain. He found himself leaning into that touch, without fully realizing it.

“Who did this to you?” she asked him. She talked to him in such a soft voice, that it almost made his heart break.

He couldn’t remember anyone ever talking to him like this, like he was fragile and precious. If Kratos ever did, it was probably back when he was a kid, back from when he could barely remember anything.

Lloyd shook. “It’s…nobody. Nothing.” He looked away. “I’ll heal up quick. That’s what my Exsphere is for.”

“But…it still hurts you, doesn’t it?”

It did so, so much.

Lloyd couldn’t find it in himself to answer, but he felt Colette take his other hand, leading him to the bed. Sometimes, after a punishment from either Yggdrasill, or from Pronyma, or even another angel following orders, Lloyd would collapse onto his bed, waiting for the pain to finally fade away. Maybe, in some ways, he was a bit jealous of the other angels. They didn’t have to feel anything like this.

But then they didn’t feel anything at all regardless.

The last time he had done this, he had been paralyzed, Yggdrasill standing over him and giving him his orders to bring Colette. But now, it was Colette who led him to it, who wrapped the blankets around him, and then her arms. 

She laid with him on the bed, holding him close. To his other side, he could feel Noishe curling up beside him, his wet nose nuzzling against his hand.

“We can give you an apple gel if you’re still feeling bad,” Colette told him. Her head was pressed into his chest, her hair tickling his chin. “I’m sorry you got hurt.”

“Don’t…apologize. How is it your fault?” But even as he spoke, something in his voice cracked. His body shook, and then his arms wrapped around Colette so tightly. She didn’t seem to mind the strain. “It’s never your fault.”

A pause, before Colette whispered to him, “Then, please know that it’s not your fault either. Don’t blame yourself for getting hurt.” She looked up at him, her eyes bright in the dark.

There was something there that she knew, more deeply than anything else.

They continued to hold each other in the bed, quietly, even as Lloyd felt himself sobbing for the first time in years.

.

.

.

“Lloyd, will you marry me?”

Colette’s voice was as clear as a bell within the winter air.

How she held his hand was that same gentleness from before, all those nights ago. Even with his palms callused from his training, from using his swords to fight against the angels that continually chased after them, she handled it delicately within her own.

He stood there, his cheeks hot, his mouth half-open. Only dimly was he aware of the townspeople that walked around them, traveling up those same stars, going into nearby shops or even to that same church. 

“I…” he croaked out, his voice halting. 

Colette was patient with his shortcomings as always. She smiled at him, even as she shivered in her cloak. “I know it’s sudden,” she said to him. “And I know we haven’t even known each other for that long… But I’ve never been happier than I am with you. I feel…more alive than I ever have before.”

Alive. Something in that word held meaning. 

Lloyd, whose memories consisted of the dead world of Welgaia, knowing only the dead eyes of angels—had he ever been living before?

Colette laughed slightly, nervousness finally leaking through. “But, we don’t have to! It’s a little silly, isn’t it?” Her fingers tapped against his hand. He still remembered the feel of her kiss against it. “And you must be really tired from all that traveling—”

“I want to.”

Colette paused, blinking. She stared up at Lloyd, the snowflakes catching onto her eyelashes. It made him want to reach out and brush them away so much. It made him want to kiss them, to hold her close, to feel the heat even in the deep chill.

“Wait, I mean yes!” Lloyd restrained himself from smacking his own head. “That’s what I’m supposed to say, right? So, yes! I want to marry you!”

He spoke so loud that a few heads turned at his shouting. Some with raised eyebrows, others with laughing grins. Lloyd flushed in embarrassment. Maybe they thought he was proposing when it was the other way around…

“Lloyd…” Colette said his name in soft whisper, holding it as gently as she held his hand. “Are you sure?”

He grinned wide, gripping her hands back and bringing her close. He embraced her, just as they did in his bed, but with a giddy happiness this time. A hopeful thing blossoming in his chest as the wind gently tugged at both of their cloaks.

“Colette, I want to marry you,” he said, and knew what that meant, even having grown up in a world where such things hadn’t even been a possibility.

To say yes was to continue to live.

.

.

.

“You’re very weird, you know.”

Lloyd jumped, turning around to see the small child next to him in the kitchen of a wooden home. The boy’s silver hair shone from the sun beaming through an open window, the locks hiding his long ears. Genis had called himself an elf, but Lloyd could sense the mana coming from him. The mixture of human and elf was something he was all too familiar with, remembering the angels back home.

“...I don’t follow,” Lloyd said. He was leaning on a counter, to the spot closest to a window.

Genis rolled his eyes. “You act like you’ve never seen trees before.”

“...Ohhh.” Well, of course. “Uh, they’re kinda rare where I’m from, you know! So it’s kinda new to me.”

Nice save! Lloyd thought with pride. 

He probably shouldn’t have just begun staring at the trees out the window for what must have been more than ten minutes, but there were just so many! After escaping from Welgaia, it was all he could do to not just examine every small thing he came across; from the river that cut through the ground just past this house, to even the home itself with its walls made of cut wood. The only real metal he saw was from Dirk’s blacksmithing corner of the house, along with a cooking pot that hung near a stove—the same cooking pot Genis was using now, cutting some vegetables to dump into the pot.

Lloyd shifted his feet, hearing the wood creak underneath his boots. He and Colette had arrived here just a day ago, finally making their escape from Welgaia. He thought he’d be prepared, but he didn’t expect such a stark difference from the world he had lived in for all of his life.

Everything here just felt so alive.

“So… have you been living in someplace like Triet? I guess there’s not many trees there.” Genis seemed to really ponder on this, still staring at Lloyd with some suspicion, even as he multitasked on his cooking. His sister, the one called Raine, had apparently gone to see Colette who was still upstairs, but she hadn’t looked at Lloyd with much welcome in her eyes either.

Lloyd wondered if it was the way he was dressed. He supposed he hadn’t changed out of his training outfit yet…

“It seems like a very strange ecosystem that you lived in if trees really are a rarity.” 

The kid really wouldn’t let it go. Lloyd tried to shrug nonchalantly, eyes fixated on a little snail that crawled by the riverbank in the distance. So that’s what they look like… “Well, I just traveled around. Like my dad. We never stayed in one place. Uh, like places with not much trees!”

Oh, now he just sounded crazy.

Lloyd really just wanted to keep exploring this strange land, and was half-tempted to just leap through the window to do so. When he and Colette had escaped through one of the working warp pads from Welgaia, the sheer amount of greenery and fresh air was something he was still reeling from. But they’d had to rush from Kratos’ directions, finding this home that belonged to a dwarf, one that Kratos had apparently known for years.

And one of the first things the dwarf had said upon greeting Lloyd, warm eyes beneath bushy brows, was, “Haven’t seen ya since you were a small babe. You’ve truly grown.”

It set something aching in Lloyd, suddenly, even with Dirk’s kindness. I could have lived here.

Genis was still staring at him, even as a breeze picked up and blew through the window, tousling both of their hair. The wind brought in the scent of the nearby oak trees, making Lloyd’s nose tickle.

And Genis still kept staring at him.

“Do you…have to keep looking at me?” Lloyd asked, not without some annoyance in his tone.

Genis was not put off. In fact, he raised his head to meet Lloyd’s eyes fully. “Hey, you’re the one that’s hanging out in the kitchen with me.”

“I’m just waiting for Colette to be done, that’s all!” he said in a huff.

“And that’s another thing. My best friend suddenly shows up with some guy who doesn’t know what trees look like. I’m supposed to just accept that like it’s no big deal?”

“But I’m not doing anything!” Lloyd groaned, crossing his arms. “I just haven’t been here before.”

“Hm. And that you’re Kratos’ son?”

“Hey, I know he’s mentioned me!” Kind of. Sort of. Lloyd shook his head, going back to looking at some wildflowers growing in a pot by the door. Something new to look at, because even though the trees were fascinating, it did get a bit boring.

Then, a sigh from behind him. What else was this Genis kid going to complain about next?

“I thought I’d never see Colette again.”

The tone of Genis’ voice startled Lloyd enough to turn around. Suddenly, any of that attitude from before had evaporated, leaving a boy with sad eyes, looking towards the boiling cooking pot.

“When I saw her get taken at the tower, I thought… that would be it. She was gone forever, and Kratos was the one who took over. I didn’t even know it would be like that until…” His voice died, still looking away, the sun beating down on his silver hair.

Lloyd just stood there, unsure at first what to say. Would anything he said even be wanted? Kratos’ son. From what Colette had told him, they thought his father had betrayed them, giving her to Cruxis. So, would they really trust his son any better?

He thought on it for so long, with only the birdsong to fill in the silence—which was another fascination that Lloyd experienced. To hear sounds that weren't just the hum of machines or electrical wiring. There was the wind, the rustling of the trees, and the small animals that scurried into the bushes, away from his eyes.

“So, is it true?” Genis suddenly asked.

“Uh, what?” Lloyd asked dumbly. Damn, he was really not doing this first impression thing well. 

The boy took a moment before he followed up with, “That you’re in love with Colette.”

…

What?

Lloyd was still, a thousand lines coming up in his head, none of them making sense. Most lines were said in his father’s voice, telling him to do something to minimize the damage to the situation, and that he was being reckless again. 

And then he realized he had stayed quiet for too long. Long enough for Genis to be smirking at him like that.

“Who told you?” was what Lloyd finally decided to say.

And then, Genis was smiling. His expression held a smugness to his features that confused Lloyd.

“Wow, you admitted that pretty fast. And here I thought you’d try to keep denying it!”

It took a moment for Lloyd to really process the word. “Wait, did you just trick me? That’s not fair!”

“Is it really tricking you though? Geez, you’re really bad at lying. But, I can see why Colette likes you too.”

If it was possible, Lloyd’s face got even redder—at least it felt like it did. Then…

Colette likes me?

But before he could even begin to ask Genis how he would know anything about that, footsteps echoed from the stairs above.

“Genis! Lloyd!” Colette had quickly run down, with the woman called Raine following behind. Lloyd thought Raine had seemed cold to him, but did something change recently? He thought her eyes looked softer. “Sorry, I got caught up telling the Professor…” She looked over at the pot. “Oh, you’re making lunch?”

“Yep!” Genis said with a bit of bravado only a twelve-year old could pull off. “Some of your favorite soup to celebrate you being back with us!”

“Oh, thank you, Genis! I missed your cooking so much.” Colette then looked at Lloyd, her hands clasped, still covering up the green patches on her skin. “Are you doing okay, Lloyd?”

Lloyd tried to answer, but the words from Genis, I can see why Colette likes you, kept echoing in his head. He eventually said, “Uh, yeah! Just excited to eat, too!”

This would be the first time he would have real food, not made in a machine, but by another’s hands.

“You’re lucky I made enough for everyone,” said Genis, but already he poured the soup he made from the pot into a wooden bowl, handling the ladle with expertise. Then, he handed the bowl to Lloyd. “Here.”

The contents were an orange-red color, thick when Lloyd stirred it with a spoon. He thought he could smell spices from it.

“What is it?”

Genis grinned. “Tomato soup. Go on, try it!”

And when he did so, he just proved Genis’ point in the end. He really was a terrible liar.

.

.

.

“I guess it’s called eloping. I mean, with what we’re doing.”

“Eloping…” Lloyd stretched out the word, trying to figure out its meaning and contours. He might have come across that word in a book, but the definition escaped him. “Is that bad?”

At that, Colette flushed, huddling into her cloak as they climbed their way up the stairs. She fiddled with something over her finger, turning it every which way. “I think I used to believe that… But it doesn’t feel that way now.” She faced him as they reached the top steps, smiling. “It just means we’re getting married without our parents knowing. But we can always tell them later!”

That made sense to Lloyd! “Yeah! We can just tell them how it went.”

“Mmhmm!” Colette nodded, then grabbed for his hand to rush for the double-doors. “Let’s go inside!”

In the swirling snows, Lloyd caught the silver gleam around her finger, but once inside the church, his attention was soon drawn elsewhere.

The interior was softly lit up by candlelight, which were placed in intervals by the walls of the church. A few people were inside, some of them sitting in the pews that lined up on both the left and right sections of the tiled floor. Up ahead, Lloyd saw a dais, near where those in cloth robes softly spoke with each other.

Sometimes, with the help of his Exsphere, Lloyd could pick up on whispers that were spoken from across the room. Kratos had taught him how, and he had kept that sense on, in case someone from Cruxis was nearby, spying on them.

But what he heard most of all was the name Martel.

It was a name that he heard Yggdrasill speak of. Yggdrasill and, sometimes, his father. And whenever they spoke of her to Lloyd, it always sounded like they talked about two different people. 

Lloyd let his eyes roam across the church, from the polished marble tiles to the stained glass windows. It did remind him of Vinheim, in some ways. Except, this place wasn’t in ruins, the walls crumbling and the windows shattered. It also wasn’t empty or devoid of any life. People moved around, albeit in hushed tones. Footsteps echoed around the interior, and even a stray cough could be heard clearly. It made one feel exposed to something grand and imposing. In that way, at least, it was like Vinheim.

Lloyd saw the workings of Cruxis woven into every fiber of its construction, from the sweeping pillars to the dazzling colors of those windows. In one of them, Lloyd saw a woman’s face that was inlaid in the glass. She had long locks of emerald hair and soft eyes, half-lidded in prayer. Her arms were stretched out wide, as if in welcoming. 

His first thought as he looked at her was, That’s Martel.

He felt a gentle tug on his sleeve, turning to Colette who waited by his side patiently.

“Oh, sorry, I was just looking around. This place is really big…”

But she smiled at him knowingly. Her eyes also glanced towards the stained glass window, seeing the woman depicted. Rays of the sun shone behind her head, and a flowing dress hugged her form as she stepped over green hills. Even in the dim evening, every detail could be seen.

Colette started to lift both her hands up to clasp, then stopped herself. She hesitated before letting her hands fall back to her sides. “I know Martel isn’t really a goddess. Not after everything we’ve seen… It’s just hard to break the habit sometimes.” She once again fiddled with the gleaming shine from her finger. “But, you know… I think that actually makes me feel relieved. It means, she never chose for any of this to happen.”

A few people shuffled past to enter the church, and both Lloyd and Colette hurriedly moved out of the way. Colette did a small trip against one of the tiles, and in reflex, Lloyd reached out, holding her by the waist. The suddenness of it made them both retreat even further into a darker corner of the church, hidden from the candlelight, and even the shine from the windows.

Lloyd looked down at Colette, her face so near, and the air so hushed from whatever reverence the people had for this church, for the deities that Cruxis had laid out for them all. But he didn’t really think about any of that, still so focused on her eyes.

It was strangely dark here, in this tiny corner of the Church, and one of the pillars was effectively hiding them away.

Colette placed both hands on his chest, fingers moving underneath the cloak that still hung around his shoulders. Suddenly, she was quiet. Suddenly, they were both quiet.

They had run and rushed through so much to finally escape, to come here—and now that they had, everything froze completely.

Lloyd hugged Colette so closely then, hands against her back, feeling her warmth. She embraced him back, and they were like that for a while, hiding in the dark of the church. He didn’t want to ever let her go.

He loved her. And he’d known that for a long time.

“Is it still okay to get married here?” Colette asked him softly. He felt her fingers against the back of his neck, along with something cool and solid. “Maybe it’s odd with Martel looking down at us…”

At that, Lloyd grinned, reaching to take one of her hands and hold it in his own. He saw clearly the ring on her finger, matching his. They had bought it from the jewelry shop, cheap ones that they could afford. But it was enough. “You know, I think she’d like this… That we’re doing this.”

Colette raised her eyes at him curiously. “Really? Why do you say that?”

Lloyd’s eyes grew soft, lost in memory. “Because whenever my dad mentioned her, he talked about her like she was a real person. Maybe she was like us, too.” He shrugged. “It probably doesn’t make a lot of sense now that I’m saying it out loud…”

But the small laughter he heard from Colette, as she also entwined their fingers and matched with their rings, let him know that maybe what he said hadn’t been so out of place after all. 

“I think so too,” she said, then added shyly, “Maybe she felt the same way about someone else.”

Lloyd didn’t know, only having half-told stories and proclamations that he had heard all his life. But he wanted to believe it, more than anything. 

.

.

.

Once, Colette had believed herself to be at peace with her death. 

After all, she had been prepared for it for much of her life. Her journey emphasized it with each step of the way; a loss of her senses, a loss of her voice, and a loss of her place within the world. No one else had wings such as hers, and no one else looked to the tower as she did, hoping and dreading, wanting and detesting. But the chain that tethered her to what would be her final resting place couldn’t be broken. Each seal she unlocked further took away her humanity. 

Except, she had just been lying to herself. At the final seal, as Remiel looked down at her with a deep-set frown, she realized she didn’t want to die after all.

And didn’t that make her such a worthless Chosen in the end?

“...lette? Colette?”

She blinked, and the shadows cleared from her eyes. The soft lamplight that hung from the ceiling made her feel suddenly so fatigued. Her limbs were heavy, and she thought she had been laying down for a week or more. But no, she was seated on a chair, numbness leaving her throat, and a fog lifting from her mind. Memories coalesced, shifted with the reality of the home she woke up in, of the boy who stood in front of her, hands linking with hers.

“...Lloyd,” she spoke, her voice a bit dry and cracked, as if she had been wandering the desert. She couldn’t help but cough a little, and immediately, a water cup was handed to her by another soul in the room. She looked to her right, seeing a woman with long green hair that rippled down her back in a neat braid.

“Please. Drink this,” spoke the woman, as halting as the strange angels she had seen up in a place she once thought to be heaven.

Lloyd immediately unlinked their hands, his cheeks flushed, but heaving a sigh of relief. “You’re back, Colette! I was really worried because at first it didn’t seem to work but, Altessa said it might take time… Ah, sorry! You don’t know him, he’s—”

“The dwarf that lives here?” Colette said, half-confused at her own words. She shook her head, finally gripping the water cup in both hands. “I think I remember. We were running from Cruxis because they had caught up to us and…”

And then sudden darkness. She fell into cold waters and couldn’t seem to get herself to reach the top. So stuck she had been, seeing muted pictures moving before her, hearing half-whispers that sounded like her name. Such memories slowly started to fall into place…

She had left Lloyd alone, with no idea of how he could save her.

Lloyd smiled sheepishly, and his breath was shaky from past worries. But when he smiled at her, it was so beautiful that she temporarily lost her breath. She then took a sip of the water, tasting its freshness, relieved she wasn’t back to her senseless state again.

“I’m really sorry to have caused so much trouble,” she told him, heaving out a sigh. But a quick glance at her hands told her something else, noticing the lack of crystal over her skin. It’s cured? she thought, and of course if she could now speak, and feel, and no longer was left in an endless dusk, Lloyd would find a way to cure her.

Alive, and with no mark of her failure on her anymore.

“I can get you more water,” spoke the green-haired woman, again in those halting tones, taking back the cup. Something about her seemed so awfully familiar to Colette, and it was beyond just what she might have experienced in her soulless state. Looking at the woman brought a sense of nostalgia to her, something she had known since she was little—but the woman left the room, and such thoughts were set to fade once more.

She tried immediately to stand up, and struggled to do so. Her legs were wobbly, her steps more unsteady than usual. Lloyd immediately went to her side, holding her up by her right arm.

“Hey, you should keep resting for now!” His touch was warm on her arm, and she was suddenly so very hungry to keep feeling it. She almost latched onto him in a fierce hug, stopping herself from doing so.

Instead, she said, “But, I think I want to see the stars. Would it be okay to go outside?”

Maybe it was selfish, and she could see the hesitation in Lloyd’s eyes, but a quick look towards the windows seemed to decide for him. “I guess it’s pretty calm out there. Are you sure you can walk?”

At the question, Colette couldn’t help herself. She was always adept at lying, after all.

“I think I could use some help after all,” she said with a smile, happy to feel his touch just a little bit longer. 

Altessa’s home was situated in an isolated place, the rocky cliffside so very steep, but facing a dense forest to the north. The sky outside was full of wondrous stars, inlaid with streams of violet stuck within the black. Colette looked out to it, relieved to see such a sight was still familiar, even in this other world.

It had been the same feeling when in Welgaia, seeing the stars just outside the tower, so high up it pierced the very clouds. 

She glanced a look at Lloyd, who also raised his head to the night sky. He still wore his clothes from back on Welgaia, a wine-red outfit that echoed Kratos’ when he had traveled with Colette on Sylvarant. In the dimness, she saw even more features of her once-bodyguard in Lloyd; in the spikes of his hair, in the sweep of his neck, and the soft russet eyes that reflected back those stars.

But there was something else, something that was decidedly Lloyd’s that gripped at Colette’s heart more than anything else. She had never felt this way with anyone before. She had never thought it to be possible, always keeping such feelings down before they could blossom past admiration or childhood crushes.

She was in love with Lloyd. She didn’t know when it started, but she knew this to be a fact, as sure as she once did in her fate as a Chosen.

Except this time, it filled her heart instead of leaving it hollow.

“Sheena said we could head to a place up north next,” Lloyd was saying, looking out over the horizon. “She said it’s called Flanoir, and that we could travel to it on an EC? I don’t really know what that is though…”

Colette blinked, feeling a little ashamed that she hadn’t been thinking about Sheena, or Genis and Raine, or the other new friends they had made like Presea, who had shown them the way to Altessa’s home, or even Zelos, another Chosen like her… Was he still in Meltokio, unable to move from his place because of the Pope keeping an eye on him?

“Will Sheena be coming with us?” she asked him, unsure what she was hoping to hear.

Lloyd shook his head, the moonlight bouncing off his hair, casting it almost silver. “No, she has to go back to Mizuho, in case anyone from Cruxis comes by… I wonder if they’re still tracking us.”

Colette read between the lines. “So we’d be by ourselves?”

Lloyd cleared his throat, but she thought she saw the red dusting his cheeks again. “Eheh, yeah. But don’t worry! I’ll be better at fighting them off this time, I swear! I won’t… I won’t let them do that to you again.”

Colette’s memory was still hazy, but what she could recall was the imprint of her hands around her chakrams, Remiel going near her, reaching out to her Cruxis Crystal before everything went dark, like a candlelight going out.

She saw the worry flit across Lloyd’s eyes, and wondered if he was reliving that memory, one that was much clearer to him, one that he must have repeated in his head while she was locked inside her body.

“But I’m okay now,” she reassured him, placing a hand over her heart. She felt her own heartbeat, wondering if that same heart had slowed when her soul was trapped in chrysalis. “And we can keep traveling together too!”

Somehow, that question set something conflicting in Lloyd’s face, one that made her want to reach out and touch, to calm. “Is that really what you want?”

She stopped hesitating, and reached out her hands to his face.

As she did so, she felt her wings span out from her back. Maybe it was to test if she still held her angelic powers, or maybe it was the sensation of Lloyd’s skin against her hands, setting her heart racing. She saw the color of her wings reflected in his eyes, how he stared at her, seeing only her as the crickets chirped in the nearby grass, as the nightbirds sang in the distance.

She saw his own wings move past his shoulder blades; grand ones that were a brilliant blue, like a mid-afternoon sky. She felt such wings could wrap around her and keep her safe, but could she do the same for him? Could she keep him safe from all that had happened, and continued to happen as they tried to find a way to change the broken scales these worlds were balanced on?

“Of course I do,” she told him, drawn in by his eyes, feeling more brave than she ever had in all her life. “Lloyd, I’m so happy to know you. And I want to keep staying by your side.”

Like the Goddess, she felt she had been asleep for so very long, until Lloyd came into her life.

She had never kissed another person like this, lips pressed against another’s. But underneath the stars, she felt she could do anything now. And when she felt the soft, gentle pressure against her own mouth, Lloyd’s body closer to her now, it didn’t feel like a mistake.

She was so happy to be here and alive with him.

.

.

.

In the Flanoir cathedral, Lloyd and Colette got married underneath the stained glass window that depicted the goddess Martel. With witnesses that generously spared their time, and a priest who felt such sympathy for them, they were wed in the later evening hours, just as the bell rang for a final mass.

But the goddess Martel was no goddess, and Colette recognized the depicted woman’s face as that of Tabatha’s. She wondered at that connection, at those green eyes that showed her such kindness. But if such eyes did, then surely whoever Martel was would also feel the same.

“And I love you!” he said to her, so simple and so excited. It made her giggle, already leaning in to kiss him on the cheek, and then his lips, and then Lloyd copied her by kissing her forehead, then at her chin, before the tired priest had to tell them that they still needed to say their ‘I do’s.’

She hardly remembered the actual ceremony, dazzled instead by Lloyd’s eyes, by his smile, by the way he held their hands together, as if he never wanted to let her go.

But she had already known, for perhaps even longer than she realized, that she wanted to be with Lloyd, to have him by her side, and to declare that in some way. 

She remembered the weddings held in Iselia would bring in days of celebration and dancing. But somehow, underneath the soft light through the windows as the snow fell outside, Colette was happy with this—perhaps even more so.

Would it be selfish of her to keep Lloyd to herself just a little longer?

It’s what she thought when she was already rushing Lloyd with her down the aisle, leaving through the doors so quickly just to be out in the snow again, the difference in temperature so sudden that she immediately shivered.

“And I love you too,” she said to him, her voice shaking from the cold, or maybe something else. She had already said the words to him inside the church, but she now needed to say it again, just as the stars shone a bit brighter.

Let me keep loving you for as long as I can. Because the future was still uncertain, and they were still adrift, trying to change what seemed impossible.

But she had once thought it impossible for her to keep living past sixteen.

Lloyd wrapped her in his arms, leaning down to kiss her again—on her forehead, on her cheeks, on her lips, over her closed eyes—and whispered, “I’ll always stay by your side.”

And she knew for a fact that Lloyd always kept his promises. 

[colloydweek]

With Love (2)

Summary:

Over a thousand miles of distance and letter after heartfelt letter, Colette learns to love.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia

Characters: Colette Brunel, Lloyd Irving

Relationships: Colette Brunel & Lloyd Irving

Rating: T

Chapter: 2 of 3 (Prev | Next)

Word Count: 9928

Mirror Link: AO3

Original Post Date: 13/06/2024

Chapter Title: Then

Notes:

The bulk of the chapter is here! Featuring queerplatonic crushes, platonic crushes, not-so-platonic crushes, and a whole lot of letters. (Don't question how they're being delivered I did not think that much about it.)

~~~

Stem after thin stem, she wove together the freshly picked forget-me-nots lying in the basket before her. Brows furrowed and teeth worrying at her lip, she watched as the shape of the delicate flower crown began to form in her lap.

“Colette!”

She jumped, the almost-done flower crown fluttering to the gentle slope beneath her, her errant hands upsetting the entire basket until her feet were covered in soft blue.

Righting the basket, she began to pile flowers back in, Lloyd joining her as he apologised for startling her, even as she waved off his apologies.

“Done with whatever punishment Professor Raine concocted for you?” she asked. A few beads of sweat still clung to Lloyd’s forehead from whatever it was their teacher had made him do for falling asleep in class for the umpteenth time. Professor Raine could strike terror into the hearts of her students without even trying.

“That was the most boring two hours of my life,” he groaned, carefully placing the final stray flowers into the basket before dramatically flopping onto his back. Looking as if he didn’t have a single care in the world, he rested his head on his arms and gazed lazily at the fluffy white clouds that drifted across the perfect summer sky.

Giggling, she resumed her previous task, shifting closer to him. “Maybe you should try to listen more, then?”

He hummed softly, turning his head to look at her, something in his expression making her pause and turn her full attention to him. The sunlight fell through his hair, turning it almost golden brown - she wanted, more than anything, to run her hands through it and discover if it was as soft as it seemed. She kept her hands to herself, though, trying in vain to quash that strange current of warmth that swam through her veins whenever she was in his company.

“Janet mentioned something to me today. She said that since we already spend all of our time together, we might as well kiss and get it over with.”

“Do you want to?” she asked, careful to keep her voice steady even as her heart sped up. Perhaps this might answer the questions that had plagued her for the past few weeks, refusing to leave her alone. That thought brought with it both a sense of relief and a rush of fear, emotions that she quickly banished to the depths of her heart.

“I don’t mind.” The answer rolled from him easily, and she nodded, wondering if this would finally put an identity to the nameless emotion that awoke in her sometimes when she held his hand, their fingers interlaced, his palm warm against hers.

But when he gently pressed his lips against hers, she felt nothing. There were no sparks, not like the fairytales described. The prince was supposed to rescue the princess from her castle and free her from her imprisonment with a passionate kiss, a promise of a life to be spent together, filled end-to-end with nothing but wonder. It was a daydream that certainly wouldn't come true - nothing could save her from her pre-ordained fate, but it had been something small to cling to during moments when despair had threatened to overwhelm her. It had just been thoroughly dashed against the rocks, shattering into tiny shards that had no hope of being put back together into something salvageable.

The suspicions she had only allowed herself to admit in the dark of night where no one was there to overhear her were beginning to be confirmed - it didn’t seem like what she felt was what the scriptures described as love. It certainly wasn’t all-encompassing, and neither was there any accompanying desire that she had to resist.

But there wasn’t any point in getting lost in all of these questions, was there? It wasn’t like she would need to worry about any of this, not with the little time she had left to simply be Colette Brunel and not the Chosen.

“Hm,” Lloyd mumbled when he pulled away. “I don’t think we need to do that again.”

She blinked, resuming her weaving. “I agree.”

“Honestly, I don’t get the point,” he grumbled, waving his hand in the air. “What’s so special about all… that?” His voice held not a hint of uncertainty as he easily stated his disinterest in what was, to most people, one of the most vital parts of life.

It’s the fairytale ending, she wanted to say. But the words died in her throat, and she only shrugged, the truth she had never told anyone spilling out. “I don’t know either." Perhaps one day she would, but that day was not today. "But… I do think I want to get married.”

She never would get that fairytale ending - she would never wear a beautiful white dress, would never get married standing under an arch with her favourite flowers decorating it, would never get the chance to plan something so elaborate and see all the parts come together as her efforts came to fruition…

He was watching her again, with those warm russet eyes, his next words said with an unshakeable conviction, as if things truly were that straightforward. “If you want to, then you should.”

That encouraging warmth was enough to plant the seeds of courage within her, leading her to blurt out something she’d barely even let herself think, afraid to admit it to herself. “Well, I’d want to marry you.”

It was a strange thing to say to someone she’d just sworn off ever kissing again, but it was also, inexplicably, true. She still had no answers to any of the questions that swirled around in her head, asking herself what exactly she felt for him. But she would have liked to marry him, had it been possible, and in doing so entrust a part of herself to him, knowing he would protect that little piece of her with everything that he had.

He grinned, then, seeming to light up the space around them both with the power of the sun. “I’d get married to you too. Let’s make it a promise, then. I’ll marry you in the future, and you’ll get to have the wedding of your dreams.”

She didn’t answer, gently placing the completed flower crown on his head, letting the soft blue bloom among the brown. It was a promise that couldn’t be kept - there would only be a funeral wreath waiting for her at the end of her path. But it was a beautiful dream, one that she could perhaps indulge in on nights when she did not wish to fall asleep to the salt of tears.

Her fingers lingered, and she smiled to herself. It was as soft as she’d thought it’d be.

“I’m gonna go make one for Genis too,” she declared, standing and picking up the basket.

“Have fun!” he called after her, waving goodbye.

~~~

The first time she saw Sheena, really saw her, it felt like the world screeched to a halt, narrowing until all Colette could see was her.

Sheena had just broken her way through the wall that was separating her from their group, having painstakingly dragged herself through the mines to intercept them on the other side of the pass. Cards gripped in hand, Corinne balanced on her shoulder, she had fallen into a battle stance. There had been dirt smudged across her cheeks and a cut bleeding shallowly on her forehead, but her amber eyes shone clear, burning with determination.

Colette had been so distracted in that battle that Kratos had to drag her out of the path of direct danger twice before snapping at her to stay back if she was only going to get herself killed.

Oh, she’d thought in a daze by the campfire that night. Maybe this is…?

When she pleaded with the mysterious girl to accompany them to the ranch, part of it was for the reasons Lloyd had confidently stated. There was no point in fighting if they were not enemies, and she had no desire to hurt anyone - that was not the purpose of this journey she had set out on. But there was a tiny, selfish wish tucked behind those impassioned words. A hope that this girl who radiated determination could become her friend, ushering in a new, unexplored part of her life.

When Sheena joined their party for good, Colette finally got to know her. She was kind, loyal, and sometimes so terrified of something looming over her that she refused to share that her shoulders shook and she screwed her eyes shut, but she forced her way through it anyway because she was brave in a way Colette would never be. It was something she could not help but admire - Sheena truly did shine with a light that could not be put out, no matter how much the world tried to do so.

And she was gorgeous. Hair dark as midnight that she rarely let down, but allowed Colette to comb her fingers through on nights she’s too tired to deal with it herself. Amber eyes that were equal measures kind and playful, burning with a raging fire whenever she witnessed an injustice. Tanned skin that flushed whenever Colette so much as smiled at her.

She loved spending time with her, swapping childhood stories until the campfire ran cold, but the emotions beating in her heart were, once again, not the ones that had been described to her all her life, from the sweet words of fairytales to the severely inked pages of the scriptures. It was certainly different from what she felt around Lloyd - that was a steady, gentle flame, perfect for spending the night by, its warmth slowly spreading through one’s bones. This was more of a playful flame, jumping and leaping and never lacking in excitement, but it still didn’t seem sufficient for the never-ending, all-consuming wildfire that love was supposed to be, enough for one to give all of oneself away. She could only ever manage little slices of her heart - clasped in her and Sheena’s hands by the campfire, stored in the gentle strokes of Lloyd’s fingers through her hair as she let her head rest in his lap, seeping into the stew that she helped Genis stir, curled in the sheepish smile she gave Professor Raine when she had to ask for help with her homework, floating with the thanks she gave to Kratos on nights that stretched on without end. It would never be enough.

Despite what she’d said to Lloyd years ago, the disappointment still crashed over her each night as they got closer to the tower looming in the distance, bitter on her tongue as she sat awake, counting the stars that glimmered in the sky above. It had been the truth - she didn’t understand the weight everyone seemed to put on romance, but she had hoped to perhaps understand it more by the time she took her final steps up the stairway that led to the heavens, to experience something that all the other normal girls did.

But perhaps a Chosen like her, who would waste her time fretting over such trifling matters, didn’t deserve to enjoy an emotion so pure.

~~~

When her world failed to end in the Tower of Salvation, Colette’s life became incredibly hectic for a while - discovering truths that irrevocably altered her perception of herself and the world, guiltily hiding secrets behind fake smiles and trembling hands, racing against the clock to save a separated world that was rapidly hurtling towards destruction. Throughout the mad rush, there wasn’t much time to rest, and the unanswered questions that persistently hounded her were mercifully silent.

And then she and Lloyd were standing in front of a fragile sapling imbued with all the world’s hopes, swearing a vow to its guardian that they would protect it and do their part in cultivating a world where it could thrive.

Suddenly, gone were all the deadlines that had hung over her head like a guillotine, fading away into dust as if they had never been there in the first place, and she had all the time in the world to think. During the quiet moments of her journey with Lloyd around the rejoined world - staring out an inn’s window and enjoying the early morning breeze on her face, dozing off with her head resting on his shoulder and his cape carefully draped over her, walking uninterrupted through the shade of the forest with her fingers interlaced with his - she mulled over the same questions she had asked herself since the age of fourteen. It felt like she was stumbling blindly, her path to the answers that had eluded her shrouded in a thick fog that refused to part for her.

What was it that she truly felt for Lloyd? And what is it that he felt for her? She wasn’t blind - she caught the way he looked at her, different from everyone else. The way his gaze softened, the small smile that would never fail to appear when he took her hand, thumbs tenderly brushing over her knuckles. There was an easy warmth to their interactions - hands on the shoulder, fingers calmingly combing through strands of hair after a long day, falling asleep curled up together - it all came to them naturally, little touches here and there and everywhere.

It should have been a simple task, to open her mouth and ask him a question, knowing he would answer her kindly with the truth. But now that she had an entire unexplored life winding out in front of her, she found that fear had sewn her lips shut, the words like barbed thorns catching in her throat. He had said it himself, that he had no real interest in romance or anything of the sort, and neither did she garner the same appreciative glances she sometimes caught him throwing people they passed on the street. It wasn’t jealousy that held her back - it was a deep-rooted fear that she wouldn’t be enough. If she hadn’t been good enough so many times in the past, why wouldn’t it happen here as well? There was a thread tied around her heart that pulled her towards him, but she didn't wish to ensnare him with it, trapping him with the promise they had made.

Guilt accumulated in her soul all the while, for defying the rules that society had arbitrarily set for her. She had been raised all of her life with the message that she should be the shining exemplar of everything the Church preached, and even thinking of actively straying from those teachings was enough for panic to dig its insidious claws deep into her skin, forcing tears into her eyes as she shied away from the very thought. She knew she was being silly - it had all been based on a lie, and there was certainly no chance of Lloyd ever caring about any of these things. She had nothing to fear from him. But with each day spent by his side, she couldn’t bear the vulnerability of tearing out her beating heart and exposing it to him. The potent mix of guilt and fear kept her quiet, and two years passed by like sand falling through her fingers, the frigid knowledge of her unease settling in her chest like a weight. Even without a word, Lloyd probably already knew. He’d always known her the best - but he didn’t push, simply treated her the same, gently soothing her heart.

Sometimes, she wished dearly that she could possess the ability Lloyd had to believe whole-heartedly in one’s own ideals, remaining steadfast regardless of what others said or did to influence him, uncaring of what the rest of the world thought.

Sitting on the porch of the house she had grown up in, she took a deep breath, enjoying the unbroken silence of Iselia, still awaiting the rising of the sun before the villagers would rub the sleep from their eyes and push themselves from bed to go about their daily routines. She hadn’t realised how much she’d missed the sleepy bubble of her hometown - it had taken a week, the longest she’d spent here since she’d left on that fateful day after the arrival of the Oracle - for the feeling to strike her, square in the chest.

Just last night, Lloyd had said a hasty farewell to her to her and rushed off towards his father’s place. They had finally completed their mission to collect all the Exspheres, and yet another crossroads lay before them. The light in Lloyd’s eyes as they’d travelled had told her all she needed to know about the path he would decide to take. With each new sight, the infectious wonder infused into his every action had only grown, and she knew he would never run out of places to explore in this wide, wide world. He had always been a little stifled in this village, buried under the weight of studies he couldn’t understand and people who didn’t want to put in the effort to let him in. Out in the world, he could wander to his heart’s content, he could discover locations they had only ever heard about in exaggerated tales, he could offer help to anyone he came across who needed it. He belonged out there, a child of curiosity through and through - he’d found his answer, and she couldn’t be happier for him.

But where did she belong?

This wasn’t a decision he could make for her. He’d simply squeezed her hand before he’d left, and told her to think about it. There had been no judgement in his words, just a quiet understanding of the choice she would make.

Tapping her fingers against the floorboards, the clicking of her nails against wood accompanied her as she observed the village come alive with the sun, the familiar sounds she’d woken up to almost every day of her life bringing a smile to her face. Even with her eyes closed, she could see everything that was happening vividly against her eyelids. Villagers tending to the grapevines, checking that the fruits were growing plump and healthy. Children talking loudly amongst each other as they rushed towards the schoolhouse, not wanting to be late. Shopkeepers setting up, observing their wares and setting up signs.

No matter what, she would always, always love Iselia.

And so, she made her decision, realising that the answer had always been on the tip of her tongue.

There was no shock colouring Lloyd’s expression when she made the careful journey across the river to Dirk’s and told him that she was going to stay. Perhaps he’d been expecting it, for sometimes it really did feel like he knew her better than she knew herself. He didn’t question her or attempt to change her mind. Instead, he spent the night with her over cups of coffee, camped out on his rooftop for old time’s sake, naming the stars until she fell asleep with her head pillowed on his thigh.

She needed the time to be… just herself, on her own. To figure herself out - what she wanted, who she was, what she felt. And she had missed Iselia deeply. Her destiny was simply not that of a wanderer.

On the day he was to set out again, she met him at the gate, preparing to see him off.

“I’ll come visit,” he promised, pulling her into a tight embrace.

There was a little bit of sadness clinging to her words as she told him goodbye, but it wasn’t as bad as she’d thought it would be. Her heart clenched for a single painful moment, but it did not break. It wasn’t as if she’d never see him again. This wasn’t farewell, she had more faith in him than to think that way.

Leaning forward, he whispered into her ear, his breath tickling her skin. “Take as long as you need, Colette.”

Unspoken, hidden in the encouraging squeeze of his hand as he stepped back, was a vow to wait.

She pressed something into his open palm - a forget-me-not, that she’d spent the night before pressing between paper to ensure it turned out perfect. A small part of her to keep on him, a little piece of her heart for him to carry.

“I’ll write,” she promised in return, waving until her arm ached as she watched his back disappear down the dusty road she had once set off down herself, back before everything changed.

~~~

Dear Lloyd,

It feels a little strange to be writing a letter. The last one I wrote was the one I sent to my family before I approached the final seal. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that it’s been more than two years since then. So much has changed.

How are things going on your end? What town have you found yourself in now? Or are you spending most of your time on the road? Are there any interesting sights? What about people? I’m sorry for the torrent of questions, but I’d love to hear anything you have to share. I hope you’re having fun.

And have you met any new dogs? I’m sure there are many more adorable doggies out there in the world that we didn’t run into, just waiting to be found!

As for me, I’m settling back into Iselia and slowly getting used to life here again. The townsfolk were happy to see me, though they’re still keeping me at arms-length. It’s a lot like how they used to treat me in the past, leaving me on the outskirts. It stings, a little, that they’re avoiding me. It sort of makes me feel like nothing has changed at all. But I suppose they have no clue how to treat me, just like back then. Even father and grandmother seem a little lost now that I’m here for good again. No one expected me to return once I stepped foot outside the gate.

But enough of being a downer! I’m going to work on it! Most of the people here never really knew me past my title, so I’ll make sure they learn who I am from now on. Just Colette, their normal next-door neighbour. It’s a pipe dream, I know. They’ll never really be able to forget that I was once the Chosen. But nothing’s going to change unless I try.

Still, it’s wonderful to be back. It’s been nice to be able to stand in my garden again. Father took good care of it while I was gone, but there’s nothing more calming than tending to the plants. I find that it helps to clear my mind and keep me grounded. And watching the flowers bloom after hours of hard work brings me so much joy. I would like to thank you again for all the hours you spent helping me out with the garden.

I was thinking of helping out at the schoolhouse. A really nice teacher from Luin took over after Professor Raine left and she’s swamped. While there is no way I’m assisting with the actual teaching, I could help with the children. And maybe in the future, I could take some of the classes like arts and crafts. It would be something to do with my time now that it’s not all occupied by prayer readings.

Also, just a random thought, but I suppose we should stop calling her Professor Raine? That would be incredibly strange, however!

I think that’s all I wanted to write about. I’m not sure when this letter will reach you, but I hope it does.

You’re always welcome to visit, at any time.

With Love,

Colette

Colette

The words started out shaky, indentations showing where the nib of the pen pressed sharply against the paper. Eventually, the lines and curves calmed, and the sentences began to flow easily, each letter neatly drawn. Until the end, where a few of the words were scrawled over with markings so black that they were impossible to decipher. The letter was folded, unfolded, and folded again before it was finally mailed out by trembling hands.

~~~

Colette,

I don’t think I’ve written a letter since that one lesson where Professor Raine taught us how to do so. The details elude me, but I’m fairly certain that lesson ended with me in detention and Genis had something to do with it. And you’re right. We probably should stop calling her Professor Raine, no matter how strange it feels. Maybe we can do it slowly?

I received your letter in Palmacosta, and I’m still here while I write this reply. The last of the damage was repaired since the last time we were here. It’s impressive just how much they’ve managed to rebuild in just six months. I’ve been exploring the new parts of town, mapping out its nooks and crannies and browsing the new stalls. And guess what! I bumped into Chocolat and we spent a very pleasant afternoon catching up. She sends her regards, and says she hopes to visit Iselia some day soon.

Also, there’s a new dog! I’m fairly certain it’s not one we’ve encountered before. It doesn’t have the collars we made for all the other dogs we’ve met. I asked the townsfolk, and they said it wandered into town a few weeks ago and has been popping up in different places since then. I don’t have the best grasp of words, so I’ll send you a little drawing of it. I’m sure that’ll do a better job than any description I could attempt. As per tradition, you can tell me what to name them in your next letter.

About Iselia, I’m glad to hear you’re settling back in, and I hope you enjoy every day that is to come to the fullest. As for the villagers, there’s not much I can do from here but provide you with my encouragement. The way they’ve treated you has always rubbed me the wrong way, but I know this is your battle to fight. And I believe you can do it. You just need to show them what you’ve shown me. Beneath all that nonsense about your title, you’re just a normal person like anyone else, and once they understand that, I’m certain they’ll let you in.

Looking forward to receiving your next letter!

Love,

Lloyd

The paper was crinkled, and it carried the salty scent of the ocean, invoking the image of waves lapping lazily against sand. The words were nothing more than messy scratches, yet still able to be deciphered by their desired recipient, who knew that handwriting by heart. At the bottom of the paper was a sketch of a dog - an adorable little thing standing on cobblestones, the curious cock of its head captured perfectly. The letter is carefully folded and tucked away in a drawer, to be cherished.

~~~

Dear Lloyd,

Thank you for keeping the tradition alive! I think I’ll name the dog

“Colette.”

“Hm?” She looked up from her desk, letting her pen fall slack against the wood as she spotted her father hovering in the doorway. “Oh, Father! Sorry, I didn’t realise you were there. Come in.”

Her father walked in through the open door, seating himself on the edge of her bed. His smile now was a lot less stiff than it had been in the month and a half since she’d returned home - it was warmer, less tentative. She’d made sure to include herself in the activities her family conducted: weeding in the garden with father, baking pies with grandmother, visiting the orchard to pluck ripe apples. Insistently pushing and pushing until she’d knocked down their walls, and they stopped turning their heads to look at her like she would disappear in the next instance.

“I did knock on the door multiple times.”

Cheeks flushing with embarrassment, she ducked her head. “Sorry. I just got engrossed with writing letters.”

“To Lloyd?” The hard tone of his voice made her freeze, wondering what he was about to ask.

He was leaning forward now, hands steepled awkwardly together, hesitantly stringing his next words together. “It’s just… I thought you two were…”

“Oh.” The sigh rushed out of her, taking with it the weight of her nervousness. While her mission to integrate herself with the other villagers was still in its early stages, some of them had started involving her in casual conversations, bringing her into the fold in a way she’d never experienced in this village outside of her previously small circle of friends. It did, however, afford some of the bolder ones the opportunity to ask her the same question her father was currently stumbling over. Honestly, after the tenth time of being on the receiving end of it, she was starting to dread hearing even the beginning of it. It was exasperating to have to explain the same thing over and over again to people who didn’t seem to want to accept the truth she had to tell, repeatedly spinning the words and contorting their meaning to support their own perceptions. “No, Father, we didn’t suffer a messy break-up or anything of the sort. We were never in love. Not in that way.”

With the clarity of distance, it was much easier to prod at her own emotions without needing to panic over Lloyd's presence right next to her. While she’d been certain before that they’d never be in love - not in the way love had been described to her all of her life - it was easier to say with conviction now.

Whether or not she loved him in another way, she hadn’t yet agreed on.

“Oh.” Her father sounded relieved, if a little dumbstruck, as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. But he didn’t refute her like others had, which was a vast improvement. Even if he couldn’t understand right now, he didn’t question her, which was much appreciated. “That’s, uh… That’s good to hear. I’m sorry for asking.”

“It’s fine, father.” The tiny nugget of frustrated rage in her chest was hard to hold onto when she knew her father was coming from a place of care, afraid that she’d retreated here because of the pain of a broken heart in order to pick up the pieces. Still, it was good that she’d corrected his misconception before it could spiral out of control.

Her father had not yet straightened up, seemingly preparing himself for another difficult question. “I do have to ask, though. Are you… truly happy here?”

She thought for a moment, rolling her pen between her fingers. She did miss Lloyd, but not in the violent way she had when she’d first left Iselia, her heart aching like it would shatter into a million pieces as she’d cradled the memory of him close, sure she would never see him again. That had been an open, bleeding wound that she'd been convinced wouldn't ever heal, while this was a scabbed-over injury. More of a gentle tug - a desire to see him again, no matter when that would be, simmering in her heart. And while her happiness here was still a bud, not yet bloomed, she was certain she could cultivate it into a beautiful flower.

“Yes, father. I am happy here.”

“That’s… that’s good.” Her father finally stood, clapping her on the shoulder. “Also, your grandmother asked me to tell you that the priests want to see you next week.”

She didn’t manage to answer him before he left the room, the last words he’d left her with sinking into her mind. Before she’d realised it, her hands were clenched into fists that she gently pried apart, wincing at the pale crescent moons she’d left in her palms. In the past two years, she hadn’t so much as stepped into a Church, and she knew her father hadn’t been attending service either, because they were both home during the times that they should be faithfully praying, calmly having tea. It was the largest source of tension in their reunited family - Grandmother always frowned whenever she failed to convince the two of them to go, before reluctantly shuffling out the door.

Her complicated emotions regarding the religion that had been part of her life for as long as she could remember had yet to be unravelled, and she knew she couldn’t run away forever. As she put her pen back to paper, she considered if it was time to start pulling apart the layers and unearthing the core of the issue, confronting it head-on.

~~~

Dear Lloyd,

Thank you for telling me about the sakura grove! That sounds really beautiful, I’d love to visit it someday. Thank you as well for the sakura flowers. I’ll be sure to cherish them.

You know how I mentioned that the priests wanted to meet me a few letters ago? I put it off for a while, but I finally built up the courage to go yesterday.

The only way to describe the experience was strange. The place was both familiar and foreign. Almost nothing had changed even after two years, but the atmosphere felt different. I suppose I no longer feel the same pressure to be perfect once I step foot in there. The standards I was once held to no longer apply.

The priests didn’t exactly look pleased that I’d dawdled for so long, but honestly, they couldn’t have done anything even if I’d decided to never show up, so it didn’t bother me too much. Even if they'd tried to scold me like they had in the past, it wouldn’t have had much effect. I know now that there are much scarier things than the priests, and things that matter much more than their approval.

As for what they wanted, they were trying to invite me to take up some sort of role in the Church. Despite publicly renouncing my status as Chosen, they must think I still hold enough sway to act as a figurehead. Unfortunately, that’s the very opposite of what I want. If I do that, I’m never going to escape from the shadow of my title. I don’t want people to listen to me just because they think I hold the Goddess’ favour. I want to talk to people as an equal.

They weren’t happy that I turned them down, but there’s nothing they can say to change my mind. This is an issue I’m not budging on. Trying to tell me that the Goddess would have been disappointed that I’m turning my back on her is certainly not going to be effective when I know the Goddess doesn’t even really exist. And from what I know of Martel, she certainly wouldn’t have thought that way.

But I think I’ll attend the next service. Once the priests had left me alone, I found that I didn’t really mind wandering around the temple. Honestly, I’ve kinda missed its peaceful quiet.

What do you think?

Hoping to hear from you soon,

Colette

Placed next to the folded pile of letters is a notebook, its pages mostly empty. Nestled behind the front cover are sweet-smelling sakura blossoms, gently pasted onto white.

~~~

The temple was silent now. Moments before it had hummed with the energy of the service, heads bowed as people were united in prayer, their collective harmonious voice rising and falling to reach the high ceiling. The last of the stragglers - a child, waving goodbye to her as they were gently tugged along by their parents - had left through the large doors to continue with their day.

Leaving Colette sitting in one of the pews near the back, eyes closed as she soaked in the peaceful quiet. She’d drifted into the temple in the middle of the small crowd, neatly avoiding most curious gazes and ducking into a pew. She hadn’t attracted too much attention, thankfully, and the villagers who had noticed her had done nothing more than flash her a friendly smile. The priests had filed neatly out after the service had ended, their gazes sliding off her as disgruntled frowns overtook their faces.

She opened her eyes to watch dust motes dance through the air, tracing their paths as her thoughts wandered, her mind calm as it always was in this place. She’d spent so many hours of her childhood here, studying over heavy books of the faith’s text, a priest sharply watching her to ensure she didn’t skive off. Back then, this had seemed like such a cold place, her heart shrivelling every time a priest chided her for failing at something, glaring at her with heavy disappointment. She had jumped with joy every time she had left through the doors to find Lloyd on the other side, shuffling his feet in the dirt as he’d waited for her.

Now, however, with nothing being asked of her, she could simply enjoy the beauty of the temple without any pressure. While it no longer gave off the impression it was going to fall apart at any moment, the cracks in the wall having finally been repaired, it certainly couldn’t hold a candle to the Meltokian chapel, with its impressive collection of stained glass windows that painted the floor in a myriad of rainbow colours. The temple didn’t possess such grandiose beauty - but it was a place she knew like the back of her hand, comforting in its familiarity and affording an uninterrupted calm. There was a timelessness to it. It had stood for centuries and felt like it would continue to do so into eternity, providing a refuge to all who needed it.

She hadn’t realised how much she’d missed the warmth of service until she was in the middle of it. That sense of everyone’s hearts being united in prayer as the soft sunlight filtered down on them was one she’d sorely missed for the past two years, all her troubles melting away as she lost herself in the magic of it once more, almost as if she’d never left.

There had been many a sleepless night she'd spent thinking about the Goddess, not wanting to wake Lloyd up as he slept soundly next to her, their limbs entangled. While the Goddess Martel was never real, the woman had been - a living, breathing person who had once walked these very same lands. She’d been brave, and kind, bearing a love for this world that had burned so bright, refusing to flicker out even in her final moments. Those were qualities Colette could still believe in, could still work towards trying to embody in every waking moment. Even if she couldn’t faithfully follow everything she’d been taught to believe… Well, there was nothing more blasphemous than realising the Goddess wasn’t real, was there? In comparison, everything else seemed silly.

It was a quiet realisation that came to her suddenly on a normal day like any other, inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. But in that instant, it felt like everything had shifted. She stood shakily, thrown a little off-balance, and gently trailed one finger across the back of the pew in front of her.

“I think… I think the way I love is a little different from everyone else,” she whispered under her breath, her words being swallowed by the boundless silence as her heart thundered in her ears.

There was no judgement, no condemnation from above, nothing to tell her that she’d sinned in some way. The world didn’t end, the river of time continuing to flow unbothered after her confession. She smiled to herself, sweeping from the aisle and out of the temple, a weight having been lifted from her chest.

~~~

Colette,

That was incredibly brave of you, to accept the Church back into your life after all the grief it’s caused you. You’re a better person than I could ever be, I could never do that. But I’m glad to hear you’ve made peace with it, and that you sound happier.

Also, you’re moving into your own place? That’s exciting! I’m certain you’ll make it a wonderful place to live. A place that’s all you - kind and inviting. I can’t wait to see it one day.

By the way, I bumped into Raine in Triet - she was staying there for the week to wait for Genis. In the meantime, she was exploring the ruins again to try and find a rumoured secret room, so I accompanied her to help her out. We didn’t find anything, but she didn’t seem discouraged. I wonder if she’ll still be eagerly looking for new discoveries even a century from now. I can’t imagine her ever changing.

I told her about how you plan to move over the next two weeks and she said she’d love to help, so expect her and Genis sometime soon! (Or maybe this letter will arrive after them? That’ll certainly be amusing.)

Love,

Lloyd

~~~

Colette placed yet another heavy box on the small, round table sitting in the middle of the room before stretching to loosen the muscles in her back. Raine and Genis had helped her efficiently pack everything she needed into manageable boxes, but Colette had insisted on carrying them over herself and doing the unpacking on her own. There were some perks to angelic strength, after all, and she didn’t want the siblings to exert themselves unnecessarily. Until the house was in a presentable state, they were both banned from the place. Raine had decided to spend her time once more exploring the underdepths of the temple, and had dragged a disgruntled Genis along.

The house she’d managed to secure was one of the few new ones that had been built now that more people were flowing into Iselia. It was likely never going to become a large, bustling town like Palmacosta, tucked away into a corner of the continent behind a desert as it was, but it was slowly growing. Dirk had been busy for the past few months, and he’d happily handed over the place to her and given her quite the enthusiastic tour.

It was certainly a smaller place than what would now be solely her father and grandmother’s house, but that suited her just fine. The furniture was sturdy but cosy, and the garden was expansive - perfect for all the plants she could already imagine planting there, just waiting to set down their roots in the soil and thrive. The house was already shaping up to be lovely. She just needed to get everything out of the boxes and into their rightful places. There was a lot of work ahead of her, but she was looking forward to it.

Opening up the first one, her fingers ghosted over crinkled paper, and she pulled out a stack of letters. They showed lines where they had been folded and unfolded countless times, lovingly handled, the words read many times over on late nights with a cup of coffee in hand and the moon for company.

A smile playing on her lips, she placed them on the shelf before reaching into the box to see what was next. A small stack of books emerged, and she stared at the familiar titles printed in cursive on the colourful covers. She knew most of their contents by heart, considering the number of times she’d devoured the tales with Lloyd or Genis curiously reading over her shoulder, flipping yellowed page after yellowed page. They had once been an escape - a glimpse into another life that was nothing more than an empty possibility.

Pursing her lips, she placed the stack of fairytales next to the letters, gently brushing off the thin layer of dust they had begun to gather from the years she had left them ignored. Perhaps some night soon, she might gain the courage to revisit them - to read those happy endings and envision her own, untethered from what anyone might expect of her.

~~~

Dear Lloyd,

The move went well. Like you said, Raine and Genis showed up. Actually, they showed up only a few hours after your letter, so I guess you beat them! Just barely. I gave ample thanks to the horses on your behalf - they really loved the carrots I’ve been growing.

I’m still getting used to the fact that I have my own place now. Some days, I wake up confused as to why I’m not in my old bedroom. And some evenings, I find that my feet carry me from the schoolhouse to my childhood home. But I’m slowly but surely getting used to it, and every day I fall more in love with this place. It’s just so cosy!

And the new garden is truly lovely. There’s so much space! I decided not to transplant most of the plants I was already growing, since Father loves tending to them too. But I brought over one sprig of forget-me-nots and got to work introducing some new life to the soil. I won’t spoil what I’ve planted! When you see them, you get to guess what they are. If you were paying attention to any of the times I gave you a tour of my old garden, then I’m sure you’ll pass with flying colours.

To end this letter, I have to share what happened yesterday. It was Saturday, and I had been invited to tea by a few of the other girls in town. (The biscuits were delicious.) When I returned home, I found the place packed to the brim with eighteen young children. They were almost spilling out the door! The rascals decided to throw me a surprise housewarming party, and they even made me a gift together. The entire thing was really cute, but I do have an orange juice stain on the wall that I don’t think is ever coming off. Well, I suppose it contributes to the spirit!

Love,

Colette

The bottom of the paper ended in jagged edges. Crumped into a ball and thrown into the wastebasket was the missing segment with only a single sentence written on it.

I think I just need a little bit more time.

~~~

Colette,

The impromptu party the children threw for you sounds really cute. They even made you a gift! You’ve wormed your way into their little hearts, haven’t you? They adore you!

Recently, I visited Meltokio, and Zelos gave me a tour of the brand-new section of the royal garden. There’s a massive fountain with a beautiful sculpture of a swan with its wings outstretched, overlooking a hedge maze that turned me around multiple times until I admitted defeat. It reminded me of the garden in that fairytale about the boy and the swan - your favourite, that we used to read together all the time. I think you’d really love this place, so I hope one day we can visit it together.

Love,

Lloyd

There’s a simple drawing of a swan with a young boy crouched next to it, stroking its feathers with care - a scene taken directly from the story, vividly brought to life. A single book was taken from the shelf that night, and she fell asleep with it in her lap, a cheerful fire crackling in the fireplace.

~~~

“Oh, this is adorable,” Sheena exclaimed, gently picking up the colourful assortment of pipe cleaners that were twisted to form the approximate shape of the head of a dog, before setting it back down by the nondescript black book on the mantelpiece. “The children made this for you?”

“They did.” Colette nodded, her forget-me-not earrings shaking with the motion. They were a gift from Presea, each delicate petal carved out of wood, presented to her when she and Regal had visited last week. “Can’t believe they spent two weeks of art lessons making this and managed to keep it hidden from me.”

“Impressive sneaking skills,” Sheena commented, pulling out a chair at the table and sitting down next to her.

It was a strange sight - Sheena standing in her house, wearing a simple dress that flowed around her knees, instead of her usual outfit, her hair falling freely down her back. She’d felt more like a ghost than a concrete presence for the past two years, busy as she was with Mizuho’s move and unable to share its new location until the entire village had been secured. It had been a shock to open the door after a series of unhurried knocks to find her beaming on the doorstep.

They’d spent a wonderful morning catching up over slices of the cake Colette had baked yesterday, before she had suggested changing into matching sundresses. Mostly as a joke, for she’d been certain Sheena would never agree. To her absolute shock, Sheena had readily done so and was now striding around the place, gazing curiously at everything - the books stacked on the shelves, the vines crawling up the outside of the window, the various potted plants scattered around, happily soaking up sunlight.

Mercifully, she did not peek at the letters, keeping a safe distance from them. The suspicious orange stain on the wall had warranted nothing more than a raised eyebrow. She did huff a laugh at the collection of cups sitting in the kitchen, each one painted with something small to indicate its intended user. A tiny puppy, Noishe’s head with his tongue lolling out of his mouth, a fuzzy paw pad, and so on.

Colette couldn’t tear her gaze away from Sheena, who seemed to be practically glowing with happiness in a way she wouldn't have let herself be years ago when guilt had weighed her down. Up close, she was even more beautiful, a small smile spreading across her face as she laid her hand atop Colette's - no longer a scared girl but a woman who had grown into herself. “It was good seeing you again.”

All of a sudden, her palms were clammy, and she swallowed, knowing what she wanted to say but unable to will the words out of her throat. It was one thing to speak her truth to an empty temple. She had acknowledged that part of herself, but it was a different thing altogether to say it to someone whom she cared about, fear once more squeezing around her neck as she choked on the words. It felt like they had sprouted thorns, catching on the fragile flesh of her throat.

“You know,” Sheena said into the heavy silence Colette had left behind as she quietly panicked, her expression understanding as she squeezed her hand. “I had a crush on you when I first met you.”

“I - wait, sorry, what?” she sputtered, completely caught off guard. Those were not a sequence of words she had ever expected to hear, jolting her heart free from her chest and sending it into free fall.

Sheena wouldn’t meet her gaze now, pale red dusting her cheeks, but she forged on, once more showcasing that blazing courage of hers as she stumbled over words in an absolutely adorable manner. “You were really kind to me even though I’d tried to kill you multiple times. And you are really, really pretty.”

“So are you,” she replied automatically, and Sheena let out a little squeak, raising her hands before dropping them to her lap, giving up on covering her now beet-red face.

“I think I’ll always love you. Not in any special kind of way. I just will,” Sheena said softly, her smile sincere. Her words formed the blanket to catch her free-falling heart, safely cushioning its descent.

Before she knew it, she’d thrown her arms around the other girl, almost sending them both pitching to the floor as she ignored Sheena’s protests. “Thank you,” she whispered breathlessly, holding her beloved friend close, heart swelling with affection that she tried her best to push into her words. “I… Back then, I wanted to be your friend, more than anything in the world, and I don’t think those feelings will ever change. So thank you so much, for doing just that.”

Sheena patted her reassuringly on the back. “It’ll be fine, see?”

Had everyone been able to see the thread tying her and Lloyd together, enduring rain and shine, remaining strong over miles of distance and refusing to fray? It did seem less daunting for her to tell him now that she’d overcome this first hurdle, even if she’d still faltered at the start. She'd managed to get past the finish line with Sheena's encouragement.

“Now, would you like to dance?” Sheena pulled her to her feet, her grin turning cheeky as she did an experimental spin and pulled Colette along.

“Me? I don’t know how! I’d just step on your feet!”

“Don’t worry about that, this isn’t those formal dances Zelos has to suffer through all the time.” Sheena waved off her concerns. “It’s just a bit of fun!”

They spent the rest of the hour twirling around the room “dancing”, miraculously not breaking anything as the room turned into a flurry of flaring skirts. Their shrieks of laughter echoed through the air as they took turns tripping over the furniture and each other, any worries lost in the wild circles they made together.

~~~

Dear Lloyd,

I’m glad you managed to drive back those monsters. It’s worrying to hear that so many strong ones have been seen near the Pass. I know you’re capable of defeating them on your own, but do promise me you’ll be careful and seek help if you need it.

It’s difficult to believe it’s been almost a full year since I’ve returned to Iselia. It’s funny to think that I once thought reuniting the two worlds would be the most change I’d ever see in my life. In a way, it was true, but so much else has changed for me and is continuing to change, even now.

Zelos swung by yesterday afternoon with a bottle of wine, the most recent Meltokian gossip, and information about a gala he’d been practically strong-armed into organising. But I won’t write about it in this letter - there are far too many details. I think I’ll tell you about it in person.

I’m sorry for making you wait so long, but I think I’m finally ready to see you again. I think now, I finally have the courage to say what I’ve wanted to tell you for so long.

I’ll be waiting, until the day we meet again.

Love,

Colette

Her handwriting here was steady and unhurried, a stark contrast to the first letter she wrote. She sucked in a deep breath before sending it, determined to see things through.

~~~

There was a knock on the door, and Colette froze, something in her heart telling her that this was the moment she’d been anticipating with bated breath since she’d sent that last letter. She hadn’t been expecting a reply back - he’d always believed actions spoke louder than words. And so, day after day, she had waited, her faith never wavering.

On the other side of the door was the boy she’d grown up with, a bag casually slung over his shoulder and a well-worn cloak billowing in the wind. A boy who, somewhere along the way, had become a man, knowing well what he wanted to protect and capable of doing so with his own hands.

It was hard to believe that he was standing right there, close enough to touch, after almost a year apart. His tan had deepened a few freckles scattered along the bridge of his nose, his hair long enough to flop into his face even without the rain to weigh it down. But the way he carried himself and the warm smile on his lips was familiar - an image that had been carved deep into her heart long ago, from sweet afternoons spent with her head pillowed on his stomach as he read out loud her favourite tales. Someone who’d been hurt terribly by the world many times over, but who had forgiven time and time again, continuing to bravely reach out his hand and refusing to close off his heart.

“It really is lovely,” he said as she stepped aside silently, allowing him entrance. His gaze wandered around the house, landing on the many pieces of the life she’d built up for herself as their fingers brushed and slotted into place against each other, a motion so ingrained in her that it came as naturally as breathing, even after their time apart.

His hand pressed something into her palm - the same forget-me-not she had given to him when he had first set out. There was not a single blemish on the pale blue petals, the slice of her heart she’d entrusted to him returned in perfect condition.

Tears were pricking at the corners of her eyes, her chest flooding with the emotion she had finally decided to put a name to. Carefully slipping the forget-me-not into a pocket, she raised his hand, her thumb tracing over the new scars and callouses he had collected, warmth travelling down her arm from where they were touching. He said nothing, only waited patiently, giving her all of his attention with soft, encouraging brown.

“I love you,” she whispered, the truth spilling out of her, easier than she thought it would be. The words she’d uttered lingered in the silence, gaining a life of their own and beating their wings with a hidden strength, refusing to fade. They had been true for a long time - perhaps forever, since the day a young boy had comforted a girl crying all alone, not caring a bit who she was. A love that lived in every single one of her breaths, waiting to be revealed like the kind unwrapping of a gift with trembling hands.

Yes, she didn’t love him in the way that most expected of her. He was not her entire world. No, her love for him was quiet. It was cups of coffee passed over a campfire, it was the gentle comfort offered after a nightmare, it was words and drawings and flowers delivered in pieces of parchment imbued with all that they felt. What they had was a bond that could not be broken, no matter how strange it appeared to others. A slice of her heart belonged permanently with him, who knew her best, just as a little piece of her heart belonged to everyone she cherished. Each time he set off, she would give him that piece of her heart again, trusting him to one day return.

She loved him, even if she had never fallen in love with him.

“I love you too.” It’s an easy thing for him to admit, who had likely known it all along. Still, it meant everything to her to hear it from him, as he gently wiped away the tears that had started to roll down her cheeks, tenderly pressing a kiss to her temple, the imprint of his warmth lingering. A reassurance that this strange emotion that defied expectations was shared, that he too had entrusted her a piece of his heart.

He’d told her once under a night sky full of stars that she was deserving of happiness, and while she’d taken a long, convoluted path to reach the point where she could accept that, she had, at long last, arrived. She had taken her first steps onto a new path towards a happiness of her own making, each cobblestone paved by her own hands, building a life that followed her own rules and answered to no one else.

She couldn't wait to see where it would take her.

[colloydweek]

Something cutesy for Colloyd Day ❤️💍

[colloydweek]

Myosotis

Summary:

With a single lie, she painted a hoax from the love they held dear.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia

Characters: Colette Brunel, Lloyd Irving

Relationships: Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving

Rating: G

Word Count: 1641

Mirror Link: AO3

Original Post Date: 12/06/2024

Notes:

An emotional hurt no comfort fic inspired by Myosotis by M2U. (My favourite among the trilogy from Deemo.)

~~~

“Is this alright?” Lloyd asked, turning to Colette with a nervous smile. There was dirt stuck under his fingernails from planting seeds that would one day bloom into forget-me-nots, and sweat running down his face from the vicious rays of the sun, his face flushed from the exertion.

She thought that there was nothing more beautiful - always, he would catch her off guard and make her lose her train of thought as she tried to remember how to breathe. It felt like there was a thread tied around her heart that led to him, pulled taut and tugging her ever closer. She wanted to take his hand and press their palms together, she wanted, she wanted…

And she ignored the yearning that burned deep in her soul, having learned to live with it beating just under the surface of her skin. It was not something she could ever allow herself to act upon - there was nothing but a shattered heart waiting at the end of that path. Yet another lie, atop a staggering pile of them.

“It’s perfect,” she beamed, clapping her hands together. “Thanks for helping me out today.”

His smile grew until it was practically blinding, his hand reaching up and tucking a stray strand of her hair behind her ear.

She froze in place as he averted his gaze, mumbling a hurried goodbye as he scrambled to his feet and made his escape. Not a word entered her ears, the thundering sound of her racing heartbeat drowning it all out, terror freezing in her veins.

He couldn’t.

She wouldn’t let him.

~~~

The signs were everywhere, now that she was looking. The pale red dusting his cheeks when he offered her the latest charm he’d carved out of wood. His hand seeking hers out, his fingers interlacing with hers and holding on tight. His face lighting up when he spotted her coming out of the temple after a long day of praying, ready to pull her into yet another adventure.

She did her best to slowly push away his budding feelings - turning down his invitations, arranging her face into a neutral expression as she accepted his gifts, even as her heart cried out in joy - hoping beyond hope that he would simply give up.

She should have known that he wouldn’t do so easily. There had never been anyone more stubborn than him, always persistently pushing forward. It was how he’d befriended her in the first place, refusing to keep his distance from her like the adults had insisted he should. Why would this be any different?

“Colette?”

As he stepped out of the shade of the trees and approached her, cradling a single forget-me-not in trembling hands that betrayed his nerves, she wanted nothing more than to let her sorrow spill out of her. She did not want to be the one who had to cruelly break his heart. But it was better this way. Better that she should shatter his heart now so that he could pick up the pieces and swiftly move on. It mattered not that the shards of her own heart would remain trampled in his path as he left her behind. It mattered not what she felt at all.

So she prepared a perfect mask and waited by the river, hands clasped serenely before her, readying bitter words on her tongue.

“I… I, um…” He stumbled over the words clumsily leaving his mouth, ears flushed adorably red and only making the affection in her heart swell painfully, unable to be freed. “I think I…”

“Lloyd.” She stared into his russet eyes, the hope in them slowly dying as he absorbed her expression. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

I don’t feel the same way. That was what she should have said to twist the knife as much as she could in the vulnerable heart he had readily offered her, but she found that she couldn’t stomach it. The words that had left her already sliced at her throat, leaving her to paint lie after lie, dripping in blood.

She watched as his expression crumpled, as that hope died like a star’s light blinking out, leaving behind nothing but a dim flicker. He said not a word. There was no reproachful protest, no angry yell. Just a single breath shared between them in the centre of the grove, his hand tucking her favourite flower behind her ear, touch light as a ghost, before he fled into the shadows.

Leaving her to shatter, the sobs she’d been holding in breaking through the walls she’d erected like an unstoppable wave. Crouching down, she retrieved the flower he’d left behind and clutched it close to her chest, her grief swallowed by the heavy air of the forest and the jagged shards of her heart lost to the swirling river.

That night, she added him to his prayers, begging that the Goddess might watch over him, even once she had completed her sacrifice. Surely, the heavy price she had to pay would be enough to ensure that he would be saved in the new, prospering world that would be ushered in by the breaking of the final seal.

Maybe one day, he could forgive her.

~~~

“Colette?”

She should have heard him coming, but she’d been too focused on the calming patter of the rain against the stony cliffs of Hima, the noise dominating her enhanced hearing. So much so that she whirled and nearly lost her balance, his hands readily reaching out to steady her before she accidentally slipped off the cliff.

“Careful!” Lloyd chided, his brows furrowing. He didn’t remove his hands from her shoulders, and though she could no longer feel his touch anymore, it felt like she could somehow feel his warmth, slowly seeping into her.

Strands of unruly hair, drenched from the rain, fell into his face. Under the moon that hung high in the sky this late at night, he was stunning, cast in liquid silver and highlighting each water droplet that clung to his eyelashes. She ached to run her fingers through his hair, to seek comfort in his arms and never leave. She did nothing at all, remaining still as he watched her, something unknown flitting across his face before disappearing.

It had been a mistake, to leave a single forget-me-not flower on his table the night before she left, knowing he wouldn’t discover it until morning came and it was far too late. It had been a moment of weakness, brought on by her own selfish desires.

She simply hadn’t wanted to be forgotten.

When he and Genis had caught up to them, she’d wondered if she was lucky enough for him not to have found it. While he never brought it up, something had changed once more, their interactions charged with a strange energy. He was watching, watching, always watching, like he was endlessly looking for something he couldn’t find. It had taken them months to get back to a facsimile of the comfortable closeness they’d enjoyed before, and she’d thrown it all into disarray again.

Couldn’t sleep? She traced the question into his arm, finally snapping from her motionless state.

“No.” He stepped closer, making her breath catch in her throat. “You shouldn’t be out here in the rain, Colette. Even if you can’t sleep, you should be getting as much rest as you can. Tomorrow…”

His voice trailed off as he turned to look at the ivory Tower that all paths led to, its tip breaking into the Heavens. Tomorrow, she planned to venture there alone, and bring an end to this journey once and for all.

He was close enough that she could lean forward and seal his lips with hers, stealing a single breath together so painful that it would surely cause her lungs to rust. Even if she could no longer feel the warmth of his breath, could only feel the weight of her choices and the bitterness of regret, she could perhaps fool herself, for an instant, into believing that she was a normal girl, free from a web of lies that strangled her with each turn.

All she did was throw her arms around him, letting her ear rest on his chest, right above where his heart beat. The stutter of his breath and the skip of his heart both went ignored by her, who chose to hold him close. Face hidden in his clothes, she could let her true feelings show, for just this small moment in time.

She wondered if he knew, that each hug she gave him all meant goodbye. They always had. Each time she hugged him after an afternoon playing on the rolling hills, the both of them sweaty but grinning like idiots. Each time she hugged him before she left for the temple for her next session of prayers. The hug she gave him on his balcony, the light of the stars glittering above them. They were all goodbyes. But this time, there would be no see-you-again.

Go back to bed, Lloyd. I’ll go in soon. The words are written with a steady hand on his palm, her expression once more betraying nothing as she pulled away, familiar mask fixed in place.

He seemed to hesitate, something sticking to the tip of his tongue before he swallowed it, nodding. “Alright. Be sure to get some rest.” Turning on his heel, he left in the direction of the inn, his back becoming smaller and smaller until it was nothing more than a red speck that eventually vanished.

Alone, she turned her face to the night sky, letting the raindrops slide down her face. She had no tears left to cry. But if she closed her eyes, she could imagine that the rain was her tears - all the love she could never give, falling from the very Heavens itself.

[colloydweek]

Colloyd day 2024

HAPPY WEDDING🤍🕊🏳️💍

colloydweek様の素敵な企画に感謝🤝

[colloydweek]

With Love (1)

Summary: Over a thousand miles of distance and letter after heartfelt letter, Colette learns to love.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters: Colette Brunel, Lloyd Irving Relationships: Colette Brunel & Lloyd Irving Rating: G Chapter: 1 of 3 Word Count: 5807 Mirror Link: AO3 Original Post Date: 11/06/2024

Chapter Title: Now

Notes: The final chapter of this fic will be posted on Colloyd Day and features the wedding. There will be three chapters, and in between each chapter, I'll be posting another two fics. This is aro4aro Colloyd and also relationship anarchy, i.e. the relationships don't have to follow society's rules - what's constituted in the relationship and what it involves is up to the people in it, and there are quite a few relationships here that overlap and are all equal in importance. It's not meant to be polyamory or an open relationship but it can be read that way. The main focus for the most part will still be Colette and Lloyd's relationship (or more accurately Colette's feelings for Lloyd) but there is still mention and exploration of the other relationships, with some alluding to sexual elements between certain characters.

Lloyd is aro bi and Colette is aroace. Happy pride!

~~~

The rustle of grass reached her ears over the crackling of flames and the slow turning of pages, an unexpected sound breaching the calm bubble that had formed around her, though it was deeply familiar. Colette smiled to herself, getting up from her comfortable seat by the fireplace to pour a second cup of coffee for the guest who would soon be entering the house - actions that came to her like clockwork.

The lock on the door turned and the door swung open, just as she’d expected, a familiar face greeting her as blue light rushed through the entryway, dancing across her furniture. “Hi, Colette,” Lloyd said, stepping onto the wooden floors with care, dropping the key into a pocket before running a hand through his hair and sending it into further disarray, strands of chocolate brown falling into his eyes. His voice, sweet as honey, washed over her and made her heart swell with fondness. He wore the smile he reserved only for those he held dear, his gaze flooded with so much affection.

“How’ve you been?” She took his coat, hanging it up on the hook by the front door she’d installed just for him, letting her fingers linger in the soft shimmer of his wings for a moment, gentle warmth settling against her skin. It was a redundant question - she’d read about the mangrove he’d visited in the letter that had arrived last week, now securely stored with the rest of the letters he'd sent her, covered in his messy scrawls. But she still liked to ask it, no matter how long they spent apart - a week, a month, a year. It had been three months this time, after two weeks spent together in the breathtaking garden the elves had started cultivating near Ymir forest, filled with mystical flora and fauna.

He didn’t look too tired, thankfully, unlike the times when he'd been dead on his feet and she'd had to carefully escort him to the bed to ensure he didn't fall asleep on the way. Who knew how long he’d flown just to reach Iselia.

He retracted his wings, the light they’d been casting disappearing as he rolled his shoulders, gratefully accepting the offered cup of coffee, the green and white painted face of Noishe staring back at him from the rim, matching with the cute little puppy on her own. Carefully retrieving a perfectly preserved leaf from one of his many pockets, he left it on the table for her to collect in the morning, returning the piece of her heart she had gifted him before he left. “Good,” he answered as he joined her by the fireplace, giving her a peck on the cheek before taking a quick sip. “You?”

She curled up next to him, taking his hand. “Things have been much the same. Peaceful.” Just the way she liked it. Quiet, time passing slowly as her every day continued without any troubles.

“You’re growing it out again,” he remarked, his fingers playing with the golden strands that tickled her shoulders. The last time he’d seen her, it had barely reached her chin.

“Felt like it,” she mumbled, a small yawn leaving her as his arm wrapped around her shoulders. The novel Sheena had lent her was not going to get any further attention from her tonight - not when she was comfortable slowly melting into Lloyd’s arms. Raising his hand, she let her thumb map the new callouses that had found their way onto his knuckles, speaking of the new journeys he had undertaken. It was a reassuring, intimate rhythm, one that they fell into whenever he visited her humble little abode - the two of them slotting perfectly into place as if they’d never been apart, the physical distance between them dissipating with the steam that rose from their cups of coffee.

“Hey.” His eyes, under the flickering orange light of the fire, seemed like liquid gold, drawing her in. “Do you want to get married?”

The words washed smoothly over her, and her breath caught, her voice wobbling as she asked a question. "Why now?" In the space between them hovered a single cherished memory, of a warm summer's day when blue flowers had fallen between her fingers and a promise had been made.

His shoulders had risen to his ears, she realised with a jolt - he was nervous, something she rarely witnessed. “I remember how much you wished to have a wedding of your own,” he whispered, his hand trembling in hers as he forged onwards, his words flapping their wings tentatively to bridge the space between them. “I don’t know if you still feel the same way, but we made a promise that we would marry each other, and what I said that day still stands. The only one I’d want to marry is you.”

Blinking rapidly, she tried to clear the film of tears which had suddenly sprung into existence. Squeezing his hand, she beamed, his words nestled within her chest like a sphere of warm light. “Thank you for remembering, Lloyd. I would love that more than anything. To marry you.”

Pulling a velvet box out of his pocket, he presented its contents to her, a shy smile on his face.

She’d known something was going on when some of the older villagers kept finding opportunities to mention to her that they’d seen Lloyd around town, their pitying gazes that she had long since grown used to ignoring sliding off her like water droplets. But she hadn’t imagined the outcome of all that sneaking around would be something like this - something so beautiful, speaking perfectly to the unique understanding between them that had developed over the years.

Staring at the ring sitting snugly in the box, speechless, she gently plucked it out, cradling it in her palm. Her fingers traced the intricate line of forget-me-nots that twined around it. The same plant as the flower earrings that dangled from her ears, the same plant as the dozens of pressed leaves between the pages of the book on the mantelpiece, that had passed between their hands on the many thresholds they had found themselves on.

It was perfect. He must have spent hours labouring painstakingly over it in the forge at his father's house, sweat running down his forehead from the heat and his attention squarely focused on the little piece of metal. It was a gift infused with all the memories they had made together, and one that she would treasure forever.

Glancing back up at Lloyd, her smile grew cheeky as she noticed something he clearly hadn't.

“But alas, soon-to-be husband of mine, you have a hickey on your neck.”

His hand shot up to cover the patch of skin, his expression contorting into horror.

“Don’t start apologising or you won’t stop,” she teased, carefully placing the ring down and getting up to rifle through drawers for a handy box of makeup. She'd dealt with this enough times to know what to do. In fact, she'd say she was a natural at this.

“I didn’t notice. But I don’t think anyone else saw -” He cut himself off when she threateningly waved the makeup brush in front of his face, already coated with powder.

“I’ve told you countless times that I really don’t care what others think about us. And I’ll keep telling you that until you get it through that thick skull of yours!” Hand on her waist, she gave the brush another threatening shake. “Now sit still.”

He often felt guilty about the nasty things people said to her sometimes because of how they perceived their relationship, apologising for any outward signs that their relationship wasn't all that typical, no matter how often she told him it was wholly unnecessary. What did it matter what opinion others held of them when they didn't understand anything about them? All that mattered was that they were both content with the relationship they had built, and for her, what they had now was more than enough - she could ask for nothing more. But even irrational emotions were difficult to overcome, so she helped in the ways she could, and got her fun out of teasing him along the way.

“Right, right. I’ll keep my mouth shut.” He raised his hands in surrender, an easy grin playing on his lips.

She brushed her lips against his cheek. “Good.”

~~~

"No pushing!" Sheena yelled, cupping her hands around her mouth as she masterfully balanced her steaming cup of green tea on her lap.

If she'd tried to do that, Colette thought mournfully, her lap would be soaked with scalding hot tea and there would be a lot of towels involved while Sheena fluttered about her anxiously.

"Honestly. The children are always so rowdy after training." Her tone was resigned, but her eyes sparkled with proud joy as she kept an eye on the children running amok in front of her house. Their smiling faces were a sign of Mizuho’s bright future - such a sight would have been unthinkable just a decade prior, when the population had been dwindling and the village was on the brink of disappearing. Sheena had worked herself to the bone when she’d taken over as Chief to reverse the fate of the only home she had ever known, and things were finally looking up, a deserved outcome considering how much work she'd put in.

She did, however, tend to push herself too hard, so Colette often had to put her foot down and insist she take a break. Doing so was thankfully something Sheena had also gotten better at over the years, so Colette had managed to convince her to take one on her visit today with minimal protest. There had been no need to physically drag Sheena away from her work.

The two of them were sitting in front of Sheena’s house, the sliding door open to let the autumn air through as they shared a moment of peace. Sheena was relaxed enough to have let her hair down, black tresses spilling to the middle of her back. They ruffled in the gentle breeze, cool against their skin, and Colette reached out to tuck a stray strand of hair away, Sheena giving her a gentle smile in response.

"I'm glad they're taking their lessons seriously, but they've got to stop trying to get onto my roof."

"Why?" she asked, taking a sip of tea, glad for its warmth settling in her stomach. "Chief secrets?"

Sheena snorted in response, throwing a playful glare her way.

"You're heading to Meltokio after you leave, right? Zelos mentioned the gala when he was here last week."

She nodded, reaching for the chain that ran under her shirt, hiding the piece of cold metal pressed against her skin - a constant reminder that the events of a few days ago had not been a transient dream that would have vanished with the morning sun, but rather happy reality. "Yes, for the gala. Despite how some of the Tetha'allan elite go on and on about how we Sylvaranti are beneath them, they still insist I show up!"

Her friend’s raucous laughter drifted into the sky, emptied cup placed safely on the table beside her. She smiled a little wistfully, fingers twisting the lily-embossed bracelet she wore, as she always did whenever she mentioned Zelos. "Don't envy Zelos having to plan it every year."

Their relationship was, as Sheena had often described it over the years with a nonchalant shrug and a quirk of the lips, “strange”. Just as strange as her and Lloyd's, Colette supposed, and that was before she factored in their own involvement with the confusing tangle of emotions. It was all she needed to know - there was no need to pursue every thread and undo every knot to come to a full understanding of all that lived and breathed between them, coiling around them and pulling them close together. Her two friends had never appeared miserable when faced with each other's company, perfectly happy with the current arrangement. They'd never made anything official, refusing to give the gossip columns anything to write about, even if they were often targets anyway whenever the news cycle was slow.

Around this time of year, Zelos was always busy planning the annual Tethea’llan gala, so Colette did her best to spend the entire week before she had to travel to Meltokio keeping her friend company.

And she had the perfect idea for a distraction - she had come here with the goal of informing Sheena of what had happened, after all.

"Is that… is that what I think it is?" Sheena gaped, dumbstruck, at the ring she'd finally managed to pull out.

At her small nod, a delighted shriek left Sheena’s lips. The veneer of graceful chief slipped away, replaced by an excited friend that flung her arms around her in infectious joy, nearly smothering her.

"I never thought I’d see the day!"

"Hey!" Colette protested, pouting. "I will have you know that we have done some things normally. For one, I kissed him when I was fourteen. It was horrible and we never did it again."

Wheezing laughter was muffled into her side, Sheena’s shoulders shaking. "Seriously? That’s your best example?"

"Fine," she said, conceding the point without much of a battle. “Do you want to help with the wedding planning?”

"Of course I would! You don’t even have to ask!”

Sheena’s ready agreement and the merry excitement flooding her amber eyes warmed Colette’s heart, causing it to flutter softly in her chest. Tenderly, she cupped her friend's cheek, brushing her lips against the other and giggling at the light blush that instantly spread across her face. So shy, even now, but still as beautiful as the day she’d met her, that radiant glow she’d possessed then having not dimmed a bit over the years.

Unfortunately, the gratitude Sheena had earned would not save her from the incoming teasing.

“Oh, I have something to ask you though.” She fought to keep her expression straight, knowing the grin that was fighting its way to the surface would surely give her away. Making sure to keep her tone flat, she launched her assault. “Were you the one that gave Lloyd the hickey? The one on his neck?”

As expected, Sheena reeled backwards so fast she nearly fell off her chair. It was a good thing she was no longer holding her cup, or it would have shattered against the dirt with how violently she was flailing.

Really, they were all so easy to tease.

“From past observation, Zelos doesn’t usually do that. So it was most likely you, unless it was just someone Lloyd hit it off with last week, which I suppose is possible,” she mused out loud while doing her best to suppress gleeful laughter that threatened to bubble up within her, keeping a careful eye on her friend's expression, which was now twitching with embarrassment.

“You’re terrible, Colette! Stop teasing me!” Sheena’s glare held no heat at all as she crossed her arms, though her blush had greatly intensified, her entire face having turned a deep shade of red reminiscent of the tomatoes Lloyd so despised.

Unable to hold it in anymore, she broke down into a fit of giggles that didn't seem like it would stop anytime soon, her entire body shaking from the force of it. "The look on your face!" she forced out between bouts of laughter.

Sheena sighed, rolling her eyes. "You are a menace," she grumbled with fondness, leaning forward to return her kiss to the cheek.

~~~

“What is it, Zelos?” she asked as she pushed her way through the door to his room, heeding the muffled yell for assistance she had heard through the thick walls of the manor, layered in wallpaper. Her gaze skirted over the surprisingly spotless room - most of the time, there were clothes scattered over the bed, ranging from nightwear to formal dress. Lloyd often liked to recall the time when Zelos had scrambled to get everything in order before Seles came to visit, only to get caught in the act by his less-than-impressed little sister, the story never failing to elicit laughter from everyone as Zelos sank in his seat and hid his face with an embarrassed groan.

“Could you help me with the braid?” Zelos asked from his perch on the dresser, tugging rather frustratedly at his hair, tumbling down his shoulders.

He was already dressed in the fancy suit he’d said over glasses of wine last night that he would be wearing to the gala, which was good. There had been a few years where the dread of attendance was so terrible that she’d had to wrangle him into a respectable outfit so they could make it on time. She didn’t want to go either - all that awaited her was two agonising hours where everyone saw her as only Sylvarant’s Ex-Chosen. But they both had to attend, to keep appearances up and to placate the nobility. They were still on schedule this year, barring any… unfortunate mishaps.

She really, really hoped they wouldn’t be held up again by shrieking women wearing dresses that were far too complicated, featuring so many laces it made her head spin, their faces laden with too much makeup. How had they not given up after this long of the cold shoulder?

His outfit looked comfortable, the sleeves not too stiff, the fabric giving him the space to breathe, the dark colour bringing out the blue of his eyes and making his vibrant hair resemble dancing flames even more. A good choice for the hours they’d have to spend on the ballroom floor until the streets were cast into pitch black, sticking to each other’s sides like glue in a bid to avoid unwanted company. Inevitably, he’d be dragged off to dance by some noblewoman who still thought she had a chance with him, and she’d be stuck in conversation with a circle of snobby nobles who thought she couldn’t detect their thinly veiled insults - snarling beasts that hid their fangs behind a facade of friendliness. Both Sheena and Lloyd would have responded with an explosive fieryness that would have stolen her breath, but she preferred to simply let their barbed words slide harmlessly over her, a serene smile plastered to her face.

Zelos had taught her how to navigate the poison-coated politics that arose in gatherings like these, where the elite clustered together and exchanged pleasantries that disguised knives with glinting sharp edges. He’d held her hand when she’d first stepped shakily into the very same ballroom they were heading to later. Back then, she’d quailed beneath the weight of all the stares, and he’d patiently guided her, staying by her side to prevent her from becoming overwhelmed. “Born and bred Meltokian,” he’d joked once, his tone heavy with the disdain he felt for the intricate dance of lies and deceit that he’d mastered in childhood. But even then, he stayed when he could have vanished into obscurity, unable to bear leaving behind this city that he loved despite all of its flaws.

Under the first rays of moonlight, creeping into the room, his eyes seemed to shine, the erratic tapping of his fingers against his thigh giving away that he had more than just the gala on his mind.

“Come here,” she said softly, settling on his bed and patting the space next to her. After he’d gotten into a comfortable position, her fingers settled into the silky strands of his hair and she began the familiar motion of weaving. She’d gotten so much practice doing this with the Iselian children that it came to her naturally - she could probably do this with her eyes closed.

“I… heard you and Lloyd are getting married.” His voice was tiny, almost timid, a stark contrast to its usual swaggering confidence that had been his shield against the world for as long as she’d known him, painstakingly maintained to ensure nothing could get through to his fragile heart. He still struggled to take it down sometimes, even when faced with those he was closest to, and she'd never begrudged him for that. His voice as it was now would not have been audible in a room filled with chatter, an environment that Zelos was used to, navigating and directing the flow of people's attention like it was nothing. But here in the sanctuary of his manor, it cut through the weighted silence with ease.

“Lloyd told you, hm?” He gave a small nod, not enough to disrupt her motions but enough to answer her question. She’d already guessed that Lloyd had visited a few days before her - there were signs of him scattered all around the manor. A pair of red gloves on the dining table, a set of carving knives that had been freshly polished, a cloak haphazardly thrown over a chair. Just as there were signs of her and everyone else lying around, such a natural sight that she barely noticed them. Holders of happy memories, suffused into the rich wood of the floors, alleviating the cold that had seemed to cling to every surface in the past.

“Would you like to officiate the ceremony?” she asked casually as she threaded one strand over another.

“What, me?” He almost moved and jeopardised the half-done braid, but a quick nudge from her knee made him fall still again. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” she hummed, working her way towards the tips of his hair and hoping the repetitive motions would help make the tense set of his shoulders vanish. “I can’t do it myself. Father hasn’t wanted anything to do with the Church for a long time, not that I blame him. And with grandmother’s passing, you’re the only one left I trust to do this.”

She had known for close to a decade that the Church had been built on a sham, its foundation a lie maintained by a child who had held the fate of the world in his palm, grieving his sister and hoping to immortalise the best of her. But it was still an integral part of her and the memories that had made her who she was today, one that she had decided she didn’t want to let go.

Zelos, more than anyone, understood that endless struggle of trying to separate all that they had been taught from the ideals that they wanted to put their faith in, having gone through it himself. And neither would he question her and Lloyd’s union, which every other priest in Iselia she could turn to certainly would, casting their judgement on a relationship they had never tried to understand from the very beginning.

“All done.” She patted him on the shoulder, leaning back to observe her neat handiwork. It looked like it would last the night.

“Thanks.” He turned to face her, tucking his legs close, his gaze determinedly avoiding hers as his hands went to picking at the fabric of his pants. “I’d… I’d be happy to do it. If you’re sure you want me to.”

Shoulders hunched, he seemed so small, reminiscent of the young man who had desperately held his weapon to her throat in the Tower of Salvation, terrified of being loved as he'd attempted to bloodily claw his way to a future where he could be free to find his own happiness. He had held the same uncertain expression on a snowy night a few years ago, cheek pressed against wood, eyes gleaming with unshed tears as he’d asked if it was truly alright for him to enjoy Lloyd’s embrace even when she loved him so.

She could understand, a little too well - they were two souls with intimate knowledge of what the other had been forced to endure. On some nights, she woke from vivid nightmares of that horrible moment when she had faced Remiel and signed her life away, thinking it was worth nothing compared to that which her sacrifice would save. Her heart in a vice and cold sweat running down her back, she could do nothing but curl up into a ball and sob, feeling very much like that girl who had believed herself to have no future, until the sun rose to drive away the fog that clung to her, shrouding her in its icy darkness.

To the silent question he posed, she gave him the same response now that she had then, leaning forward to brush her lips gently against his forehead, hoping the affection she harboured in her heart for all of her friends, threatening to spill out of her at any instant in time, could reach him. “I'm sure. And… I only want you to be happy.”

Because that’s the least they both deserved. It was a lesson Lloyd had taught her, and one that she had taken a long time to take to heart. She owed the world nothing, and even if she had, she had surely paid her dues long ago, as he always reminded her on days when it seemed the sun could not chase away the chill piercing her soul, as she shakily questioned if she deserved this pocket of peace she had carved out for herself.

He loved Lloyd just as much as she did, just as much as Lloyd loved them both, in a myriad of ways that were all beautiful.

The shaky smile she got in response told her that the remnants of melancholy still gripped his heart. But there would always be good days waiting on the other side of the horizon, and until then, she would keep him company and do her best to cheer him up.

~~~

“Colette!”

Presea greeted her warmly, jumping up and dropping the shovel in her hands to rush over as Colette dropped the final few inches from the sky and into the impressive garden on the rooftop of the Lezerano Company, retracting her wings. The smell of dirt and flowers, which she'd been able to distinguish from miles away, was even stronger here, a calming, familiar presence.

Over the years, Presea’s face had never shed the impassive mask that had been forced onto her by her Exsphere’s parasitic influence, but she had certainly grown more expressive if one knew how to look for it. It was in the musical lilt of her voice, the strength of the back-breaking embrace she pulled Colette into, squeezing the breath out of her.

“Colette.” Regal was not far behind Presea, sleeves rolled up and dirt coating his hands, looking nothing like the distinguished head of the Lezerano company. Here, he could shed that image and be nothing more than a normal man, experiencing the joys of gardening with the warmth of the sunlight dancing on his skin.

She managed a weak wave, Presea's arms still firmly holding her in place until she finally let go, leading Colette to take deep, heaving breaths to once more fill her lungs as she observed the current state of the garden.

When the winds of spring began to blow, Regal and Presea could usually be found in the rooftop garden in the early hours of the morning, tending to the flowers they’d specially planted around Alicia’s grave. Dozens of heads tipped with petals bobbed and weaved, nodding an enthusiastic hello to anyone who visited and keeping Alicia company. There were new holes in the dirt, neatly dug in a set of two rows.

“We’re planting lilies,” Presea explained cheerfully before she could voice her question.

“I believe congratulations are in order?” Regal asked with a small smile, steering the conversation in an entirely different direction.

“The news has spread this far, then?” she commented wryly, already moving towards the bucket conveniently placed by the piles of dug-up dirt, extra gardening tools placed inside for anyone else who wanted to join in.

“Sheena came by yesterday to provide us with the iris buds, and she told us. I’m so happy for you two.” Presea followed her, grabbing her hand to give it a firm squeeze.

Despite the vastly different lives they had all returned to after their journey together had come to an end, they still made an effort to keep in contact, the many diverse paths they walked always managing to intersect in one way or another, despite the changing sceneries and their many meetings and partings. The threads of their lives had weaved together to form a colourful tapestry that would never come undone, each and every one of her friends having left their permanent impression on her soul, forging a unique bond that had endured through thick and thin and would always link them all together.

“Thank you.” A bright smile graced Colette’s face. “Regal, would you mind -”

“Settling the catering and the equipment?” he finished her sentence before she could, taking the words straight out of her mouth and looking highly amused. “Consider it done. Just tell me what you need.”

“And I’ll help with any decorations,” Presea offered as she pushed her shovel into the dirt, resuming her gardening.

She grinned, gratitude that they were willing to offer their precious time sinking into her every action as she picked up a shovel and joined Presea in kneeling in the dirt, the sweet scent of flowers surrounding them. Working in a garden was a familiar routine to her - she'd grown to love it as a child when she'd realised it was one of the few things she had full control over, and she had spent hours painstakingly tending to her flowers to ensure they would all bloom and make her garden as beautiful as possible. She still did so now, having never fallen out of love with the hobby. So it didn't take long for her to fall into a rhythm, assisting her friends in creating a new home for yet more flowers to bloom, once more breathing colourful life into the world.

~~~

“What about this one?” Raine pointed to a page of the book they were flipping through. Displayed on it was a white dress that would have covered up to her ankles, elaborate and overflowing with tiny details, and far too many laces that had to be done up at the back.

“Hm. It’s pretty, but… It's too much?” Colette offered, not quite sure how to phrase her thoughts as she turned them over in her head, imagining what it would be like to wear that dress for close to half a day. She was certain she'd trip over the hem of it and ruin the ceremony by crashing into something. It was inevitable. And even getting into it would be a nightmare to begin with.

Raine only nodded, taking a moment to absorb Colette’s words before flipping to the next page.

“Ugh! I swear -”

Both she and Raine swivelled their heads to stare at the entryway, where Genis had just broken off his impassioned yelling to blankly return their stares.

“You’re back early. I thought you had class until late afternoon?” Raine asked, an eyebrow raising as she observed the state of her brother, his hair sticking to his forehead and drops of water falling from his sleeves to create puddles on the floor. “And why are you dripping wet?”

He rolled his eyes, pulling off his shoes and stomping over to the kitchen to squeeze the water from his clothes and conjuring a small ball of fire to encourage some of the water to evaporate. “Some idiot decided to conduct a water spell that was out of her league and blew up the whole classroom, so class ended early.”

Colette hid a smile behind her hand, watching Raine do the same. Seles again, huh?

“It’s nice to see you again, Colette,” Genis said as he wandered over, slightly more dry than before, wild curiosity dancing in his eyes. “What are you two…”

He trailed off when he caught sight of the white dresses peeking out from the pages of the catalogue, eyes widening as he went very still, resembling a statue.

“I was waiting to tell you in person this afternoon,” she said with a smile as she pulled out the ring from under her shirt, glinting as it caught the light of the sun through the window. “But I guess the cat’s out of the bag.”

She wasn’t quite prepared for the armful of Genis that she suddenly had to contend with as he practically tackled her, vibrating with energy. He was finally reaching the age where those of elven descent began to mature - he’d shot up in height and was now all awkward long limbs and sharp elbows, jutting painfully into her.

“I’m glad Lloyd remembered,” he beamed, looking like he was going to burst from joy as he pressed a quick kiss to her cheek.

The three of them had been best friends for as long as she could remember, and they likely always would be. And that meant a sacred trust - trusting the other two with promises made, with hopes cradled in trembling hands, with dreams she aspired towards. So while Genis had not been there in person, that fateful day with forget-me-nots resting in her palms, he still knew everything that had transpired - and had nestled that knowledge safely in his heart, safeguarding it to ensure he never forgot.

She returned the gesture, heart overflowing with a gentle warmth, before wrapping her arms around him and holding him close, uncaring of the way he fit imperfectly in her embrace. “I’m happy you did too.”

~~~

Dear Lloyd,

I know I could just fly to Altamira and visit you instead of sending this letter, but I suppose it's just habit to write my thoughts down.

All the preparations on my end are going well. You know, whenever the fairytales mention weddings, all they write about is the ceremony itself. How beautiful it is and how everyone who attends has so much fun. They never mention the preparations, and how incredibly hectic it is! But I am having the time of my life planning this, and I hope you're enjoying yourself too.

We're almost done on our end, and the last update Presea gave me gives me hope that you two will be done soon as well. If that's the case, then we might be able to hold the ceremony in a month's time. Could you meet me in Iselia in two weeks? I’ll give you all the updates then, and we'll see about final preparations.

I hope this letter arrives on time. If not, we’ll just deal with it if it comes to that, like we always do.

I’ll be waiting to see you again!

With Love, Colette

Pressed between the folded pages is a forget-me-not, each petal carefully preserved.

It is a promise, of a future that would be forged together.

[colloydweek]

Celebrating Colloyd Day 2025 in just two weeks from now!

(...So if one week equals 100 power to prepare, then two weeks should be 200 power!)

While Lloyd is busy calculating, we just want to thank everyone who boosted and shared the ✨Encore✨ event that is happening on June 15th, 2025! Here's the initial post explaining the details, along with wonderful art by @frayed-symphony!

This event utilizes the theme of an encore to celebrate past favorite works with Lloyd and Colette, which can range from fanart, to fanfiction, and many more different creations! If you want to reshare a past Colloyd piece you made from another year for more eyes to see, this event is the perfect time to do so! We encourage everyone to reshare as many works as they like. You're also free to make something new entirely for the day.

Just like last year, this year is a one-day event. Remember Lloyd and Colette's wedding? We'll be reblogging everyone's past works for that special day as we get closer to the date. You can also browse through all the Colloyd wedding memories here!

(So exciting! Does that mean me and Lloyd are having another wedding? Wow, that means we can have two cakes! I hear everyone likes two cakes.)

Anything is possible, Colette!

We hope to see even more memories (on here or on our bluesky!) and celebrate the nostalgia with everyone soon!

[colloydweek]

💓

[colloydweek]

for the most wonderful writer @likes-words-and-shrimp

[colloydweek]

ロイコレちゅー。

[colloydweek]

間に合わないかもだけど描きたい3️⃣0️⃣thのロイコレﾁｬﾝ

[colloydweek]

久しぶりに描きました

ちょっと大人っぽいファング様🦁

[colloydweek]

ロイコレちゃんたくさん描きたい💫💫

[colloydweek]

Missed 1 dog during my play-through and I'm gutted.

[colloydweek]

DAY 06 | Crestoria Fest 2024

Lloyd never got an alternate outfit memoria so I've had this idea in my head since 2021. Of course as a butler his mentor would be Rowen!

[colloydweek]

colette, chosen of sylvarant

[colloydweek]

I finished up this piece recently for a community art challenge! I wanted to capture the "cold but warm" feeling of Flanoir from Tales of Symphonia!

I thought I'd also use this post to remind you all that commissions for December are closing today! If you'd like to get a commission - and 10% off for certain Christmas outfits / scenarios - check out this post!