colton-monroe

[colton-monroe]

[colton-monroe]

Nathaniel Buzolic being adorable

[colton-monroe]

You serious?

It looks like everything is here...

Thank God for personal assistants who have nothing better to do than pack up your closet and ship it almost 1400 miles South.

[colton-monroe]

rosalie's polaroids: spring break 2007

[colton-monroe]

Bingo party? Okay, look, it’s gonna be fucking fun. Rose and I always threw kick ass parties in high school and your sister helped with quite a few. And I didn’t ask, they just did. So you can do me one right tonight by showing up and making sure I have a great time.

Oh, I can do you right. I mean, do you one right and show you a good time. Whatever, same difference.

So...

[colton-monroe]

Yeah, see, contrary to what you might think a real party isn’t getting so drunk you skinny dip in freezing ass water only to puke over all of your dry clothes and have to walk home practically naked.

And Colin is going to stay because it’s our birthday party that our friends worked so hard to plan. It also keeps us from having to worry if one of us might pop up dead in the morning. I’d personally like to put all that drama on hold for the night.

I had fun though so, it was obviously a good time. I'm not so sure I see where you were trying to go with that.

What if our friends planned a shitty birthday party though? I think I'd rather get blown up than stick around a bingo party. Why didn't you just ask me to set it all up? You know I would've done you one right. 

So...

[colton-monroe]

You’re right, I am a winner. But not because I get to see you. If that’s how you name them, then you get the crown for having the honor of spending the night in my presence. 

I doubt I'll be in your oh so magnificent presence long. I mean, I'll definitely be bailing Colin outta that mess and taking him to a real party.

So...

[colton-monroe]

I would ask if I'm still invited, but lucky for me, Colin already invited me so I guess you get the pleasure of getting to see me for your birthday. I'd say you're a winner.

So...

We’ve had a funeral, car explosions, weird videos, and one of our friends being arrested all within the last week. But ya know what? All I’m carin’ about tonight is it’s our birthday.

And we are gonna fuckin’ party.

[colton-monroe]

@callmecole: Throwback to when I caught Captain Jack Sparrow, yo! #tbt

[colton-monroe]

I thought they got rid of that dumb game.

I downloaded that Flappy Bird game.

God damn it this game is addicting.

[colton-monroe]

The day's still young.

No e-mail from some whackjob?

I declare today a good day. Wow. That ones never gonna get old.

[colton-monroe]

@raaaegan: just try me, big brother.

@callmecole: Just know that if you do then there will be consequences. I know where mom hides the embarrassing pictures.

[colton-monroe]

@raaaegan: i know you think i'm about posting a picture of you chilling in your footy pj's, but i'm not. admit it or my twitter followers will see all.

@callmecole: You wouldn't dare...

[colton-monroe]

@raaaegan: tweeting at the store because we ran out of funyons is still considered using your phone. i win! admit i'm the cooler, more badass sibling.

@callmecole: Nope! I made up the rule so I also make up the exceptions...this is an exception :)

[colton-monroe]

@callmecole: If you always think the grass is greener on the other side, maybe you should water what the fuck you have and see how that works out first.

[colton-monroe]

text | colton & colin

Colin: Insanely greasy pizza sounds so good right now. If it wasn't four in the morning, I'd go and get some.

Colin: Yeah.. I guess I should have expected that much.

Colin: Maybe some cougar will feel bad for you.

Colton: Yeah...or maybe I can go to the hospital and get a really hot nurse, eh?

Colton: A hot nurse who has a hot friend for you. This could work out for the best, dude.

[colton-monroe]

text | colton & colin

Colin: I don't know, man. How do chicks even hold grudges? It's too much stress to hold a grudge.

Colin: What do you mean a new twin? Did aliens finally abduct Charlie and now I have a new one?

Colton: Right? Plus, it's really stupid. Why hold a grudge when you can go out and get really fat from eating pizza with your best friend?

Colton: Nah, something a lot less surprising actually. She punched me and I think she might've broken my nose.

Colton: I already have two gnarly lookin' shiners going on.