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yeah

my name is detective sleeping and im about to get started on my toughest case yet. the pillow case

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unsurprising conclusion: the motha killed her eldest son by sneakin up on him and shoving a lego down his throat. confessed to doing it afta a tough argument. took me foreva to figure it out. what, with the family trying to keep me out of the case and all….

this week I saw the little brother out getting an ice cream. he recognized me I suppose, n came up to me to talk about whatever was goin on. he mentioned how he lost an integral lego piece to his dinosaur set after his mother went into his room a few weeks afo. might have been a lizard, actually. one of the two. anyway he said it was a “two by four”, which sounded pretty big to me. a standard wooden two-by-four would neva fit on a lego set. didn’t know what he meant, but I guess he just needed someone to discuss it with, especially after the whole event.

went back to the station the next day to get a look at the body again. saw the lego he choked on. I happened to notice the dimensions of the piece were two of those top circles by four of the circles. not sure what they’re called. didn’t matter too much. I (and another officer not to far behind) brought the lego to the kid soon after and asked if it was the piece. I’m surprised he didn’t tear his neck nodding. little guy was excited to see it. he even pointed out the scale pattern on the brick to me. I tell ya, I would have never thought those were scales. my eyesight ain’t as good as it used to be.

I did, howeva, manage to see his mother rushing over to confront me about talking to her son. I showed her the brick. she nearly fainted.

23 year old male. found dead in his bathroom after choking on a lego. seems like the perfect cova-up, cause I can't find anotha brick in the whole house!

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(columbo voice) the murdera likes only one thing, these femboys, gee whiz, my wife can't get enough either

interesting… just found out about these “fem boys”. and boy are you right. my wife would go nuts ova this

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https://www.tumblr.com/columbo-lapd/755454245164220416/new-evidence-his-younga-brother-is-a-lego?source=share

How'd this case go, Lieutenant

family barred the whole thing off. attempting to close the case. I’m gonna find a way to get this resolved as quickly as possible because I am almost completely certain the mother is the murderer

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the missus has been sick with the flu for a week now. didn’t get a lick of sleep. neither of us. took her down to the doctor’s office to get her checked out and you know what happens? someone gets murdered in the middle of checkup. I’ll say, these cases just seem to find me, don’t they?

victum is a 28 year old female with a heart condition of some sort. also in the hospital for the flu. found dead with bruises covering her neck. current cause of death: suffocation. autopsy is being requested

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I bought the ice cream

shopping list:

eggs

dog food

shampoo for the missus

low fat milk

lettuce

purple onions

black beans. kidney beans if they’re out of the good stuff

*do NOT buy cigars or ice cream*

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shopping list:

eggs

dog food

shampoo for the missus

low fat milk

lettuce

purple onions

black beans. kidney beans if they’re out of the good stuff

*do NOT buy cigars or ice cream*

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(columbo voice) raisin heheh

Ah, raisins. that’s certainly a subject to talk about. I stopped eating those things as soon as Dog came around. can’t lie, I do miss em, but I don’t miss the vet bill that comes with Dog jumping up onto my lap to steal some. I had no idea they could kill a dog until my wife told me! now that was a terrifyin situation

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It appeahs that your house has been broken into by a dog. a dog trying to frame you for the murduh of Dietrich (now Deadtrich because he’s dead). but thanks to your willingness to broadcast the home invasion, you’ve led the dog right into the hands of the police. in my twenty years of working for the LAPD, I have nevah seen such a perfect string of events leading to the capture of one of the most heinous criminals in existence. now the savior of the world and holy propagandist Dietrich (now Deadtrich because he’s dead) can rest peacefully knowing we caught his killuh.

hi

why are you in my house

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need an omelette. and a cup of coffee. Dog woke me up last night barking at a stray cat.

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new evidence. his younga brother is a lego collector. practically a connoisseur. I never got into the hobby myself, but the little fella seems very passionate about his hobby. won’t let a single person go near his collection. barely even let the cops into his room. doesn’t seem to me like he would be the one to murder his brother with his prised possessions. the mom is convinced about it, though

further research required….

23 year old male. found dead in his bathroom after choking on a lego. seems like the perfect cova-up, cause I can't find anotha brick in the whole house!

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23 year old male. found dead in his bathroom after choking on a lego. seems like the perfect cova-up, cause I can't find anotha brick in the whole house!

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the missus told me about the “tumbler”. I don’t do too well talkin to others on the webs, but it looks easy to keep track of things on this site. I can catalogue my cases here. puhfect.