combatukulele - Tumblr blog

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Me listening to The Cranberries in the back of my uber

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They recorded tinnitus? It's a physical thing?????

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ok to clarify

jewish gay pride flags, not associated with israel in any way and should be allowed to be flown by jews:

israeli gay pride flags, associated with the colonialist state of israel and should not be flown:

notice how the second set have the white bar in the middle like the israeli flag, or contain the israeli flag themself, while the first set is simply a pride flag with the star of david.

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find all the polls posted so far here

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Source

Source

Source

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my mom was trying to chew through some really tough steak and she turned to me and said “just call me The Gnawer.” she would do numbers here

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It’s practically 2014 and you guys still don’t know how to google if an article is real or not before giving it 100,000 notes

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A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

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So there are some perks to living in a tourist destination. There are a lot of detractors mostly that you cannot shoot the tourists because you rely on them for your income but you have a semi captive audience with no context for any of the bullshit you spew. You can tell these people anything and they will believe you, the trusted friendly local. Now this is a very much Spider-Man situation where Great Power begets Great Audacity and even worse Responsibility.

My buddy goes on a run and when hes done there is a bar near a creek. So he wades into the creek because the day is hot and the water is cold.

Tourists ask what hes up to, with his running stuff he didn't want wet piled on the shore and him very obviously cooling off in the water. He says he's fishing.

But now here is why I am telling you this story. The universe occasionally aligns in such a way that we get to really really fuck with people and their perception of said universe. The opportunities do not come often and when they come you must seize the day. This is what my buddy did.

So this Creek runs through town and as a result of the highway and neighborhoods and culverts and roads it does not have a great salmon run. It's a short Creek the headwaters are only a few miles from the ocean it never had a great salmon run to begin with. But there are salmon.

One such fish brushes past my buddy's leg. Immediately he knees the fish like he is juggling a soccer ball and pops it out of the water, then slaps it out of the air on to the shore.

This is dumb luck. He could not do this again if he spent years training. Noodling (catching fish with your hands) is a thing that is legal to do with salmon but it is so much harder than literally every other way to catch salmon, including grabbing them with a garbage can. What he just managed is the kind of thing that should make you want to grab the fish and swing it around your head like a stripper with her panties off.

But,

He has an audience.

This is the opportunity offered by the universe.

He plays it cool.

He puts on dead pan straight face on and wades up to shore to grab his fish and nod to the tourists. Someone asks something and he assures them this is the standard way to get a quick dinner here. The tour guide has caught up with his group. He looks at my buddy and his fish and the general lack of fishing accoutrement. Without missing a beat, the guide backs up every ounce of bullshit out of my buddys mouth because if there is one true fraternity it is locals bullshitting stupid tourists.

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Are those seagulls or doves in Di-Strider’s room? I can’t tell.

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TEEN WOLF MEME ☾ 3/7 Quotes ⟶ I'm the hot girl

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I'm winning at credit card

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I love baseball