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so rude that fantasizing about writing alone is not enough to actually get the fic done. you have to actually sit down and write it. insane.

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the new ash fluff imagine is posteeeeddd

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Mistletoe (a.i.)

notes: just some xmas time fluff 🥰

Warnings: none

xxx

"Y/N", your friend Crystal poked your shoulder and you turned to look at her.

You had been watching some of your friends try to figure out a card game but Crystal took your attention with a nod towards the door that connected the living room to the entrance hall.

Ashton was standing there, leaning on the door frame with a glass of what seemed to be juice in hand.

His dirty blonde hair was illuminated by the light shining in the hall, making him look like there was a halo around him. His eyes crinkled as he also watched your friends play games, the hazel in them shimmering.

You raised your eyebrows at Crystal, trying to stay calm. God, why was he always so beautiful? He was just standing there, but he looked beautiful.

"Look at the door", Crystal whispered when you looked back at her again.

"No, higher up", she whispered when you looked at the side of the door frame that Ashton wasn't leaning on.

Higher up, right above him, was something green. Oh, absolutely not!

"Come onnn!", the tall brunette next to you gave you a light shove.

"Crystal, no", you took a step closer towards the couch, thus away from him.

"If not now then when?"

You bit your lip, knowing she was right. But you couldn't just -

"We'll say I forced you if it goes wrong"

Damn Crystal and her stupid smart ideas.

"But I -"

"Just a harmless Christmas tradition"

Your feet wouldn't budge though. Crystal kept explaining her master plan to you, while your mind was running in circles: What if someone saw? What if you tried to do it and he pulled away and you just ran into the door?

No, it was now or never, you could blame Crystal.

You took a deep breath, one last glance towards the couches to make sure no one was paying attention and before you could attempt to change your mind, you started putting one foot in front of the other.

Crystal was whisper cheering behind you and you were blushing before you even reached him.

He was intently watching your friends - Michael and Luke were currently trying to tear cards out of each other's hands - not noticing you. His tall figure loomed over you - even the underside of his jaw was beautiful.

Okay, you couldn't just stand here, waiting until he noticed you or worse, the others would.

"A- Ash?", you couldn't even get his full name out, your voice breaking on just the three letters.

You gulped when he looked at you, trying your best not to freeze under his hazel gaze. In your mind you heard Crystal cheering you on and you did it.

Pushing yourself on your tip toes to reach him, you leaned forward, almost losing your balance and falling into his chest in the process, and quickly pressed your lips against his.

Barely one or two seconds went by, then you rushed past him and down the hallway. What were you thinking? More importantly, what now?

"Ash! I spent hours - hey!", Michael was complaining loudly.

Then you heard footsteps quickly coming closer. Not good, really not good.

"Y/N", you suppressed an embarassed whimper when he called your name. He'd only said it a few times before as you always kept your distance a little.

You were ready to apologize when you turned around but the words got stuck in your throat yet again. He had that expression on his face.

The one where his eyes lit up, they were big, almost innocent, and glistening. His lips were slightly parted - you wanted to squeek from how cute he looked... or maybe faint.

He slowly took two more steps, so he was standing right in front of you and you had to lift your head again to meet his eyes. He tilted his head, not saying anything either, while his gaze slid over your face.

"Why did you rush away?"

You shrugged, averting your eyes to where your toes almost touched. Your face could've probably been used to cook eggs on when you felt his fingertips under your chin, lifting it until you looked into his eyes again.

"Sorry", you mumbled but he shook his head, his dimples indenting his cheeks when he smiled now.

"I didn't even get to feel it and you were already running off... Oh"

The sound was so badly acted, fake surprise displaying on his face paired with that cheeky grin. You followed his gaze to where he was looking at something above you.

"You're literally holding that up"

"No, I'm not", he grinned. His hand was above you, holding a clearly ripped up piece from the mistletoe in the door frame above your head.

"Sucks but what can you do", he sighed dramatically, his dimples getting deeper and deeper.

He waited until you couldn't help but smile back, then he bent down to your height, giving you enough time to pull away, but you didn't.

When his lips touched yours again and his hand carefully cupped your cheek, you felt like falling to the floor.

His lips felt raw but soft at the same time, warm and comforting. His body, the hand on your face, the other carefully tapping your own hand and intertwining your fingers - you'd never felt anything as wonderful as this.

There was nothing rushed about this kiss, time stopped for you to savour this moment.

Neither of you tried to change that or even wanted to and when you finally pulled apart, you could see the same heat you felt in your own face covering his. Ashton's cheeks were reddened, even the tip of his nose slightly blushing.

"And you couldn't have done that without ruining my expensive decorations?"

Ashton picked up the piece of mistletoe that had at some point fallen to the floor and while he threw it back at Michael, laughing when his friend kept complaining, you could see Crystal making excited gestures behind her husband.

When his fingertips danced down your wrist and linked your fingers with his, you were thankful that she had convinced you to go for it and kiss him.

xxx

xmas flufffff 💗❤️❤️💞❤️

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spotify wrapped is HERE! send me a number 1-100 and I’ll tell you the song it corresponds with on my top 100 playlist

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Hiiyaaa anyone interested in a fluffly xmas ashton imagine 💞

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why is there a note in my drafts that says 'fingers not expected' what does that even mean

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omg i'm at 95 followers and i haven't even had this account for very long

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i gotta update my masterlist 💞

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sooooo hey i just opened the app again i have 80 followers omg😍😍🙏🙏

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Feeling really motivated to write today 👀

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🥺💗

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You Need Care (l.h.) - Part 1

notes: first luke one, yayyy!

it's multichapter again but it didn't feel right to put the smut right into the same post as this - i'm so mentally unstable lmao, sad stuff is the most fun to write tho, love sad stuff🥰😂

WARNINGS: mentions of self harm, depression, self hate, it's sad stuff and angst, fluff and no smut yet

xxx

"Please hurt me"

Luke's head snapped up.

"What?"

"Please hurt me", you repeated, your eyes showing no signs that you might be joking.

Your boyfriend's eyebrows furrowed as he sat up straight on the couch.

"What?", he asked once more, "Y/N -"

"Please", you almost whispered. You felt so anxious, you just wanted to cry and you wanted to feel something.

"I would never-", he stood up, walking the few steps over to you, "I would never do that, Y/N"

Luke took your hands in his, squeezing them when he immediately noticed the way you avoided eye contact and your lower lip was quivering.

"Talk to me", he said quietly, "What's going on?"

You started chewing on your lip, staying quiet as you shrugged weakly.

But Luke was patient, he waited until you were ready to talk, and he listened when you finally whispered: "I don't feel good."

He squeezed your hands in encouragement to keep ypu talking.

"And just... I... you know, pain makes me forget about the emotional pain, so I thought we could..."

"Y/N", Luke's serious expression made you bite your quivering lip, "Are you trying to insinuate that we have a painful sexlife for you to use it like self harm?"

"It's - Luke, it's not a 'painful' sex life"

"I know, I worded that weirdly", he smiled for a split second, "but you didn't answer my question"

And you continued to stay quiet, which was his answer.

"Y/N", he whispered, pulling you closer so you were standing in between his legs. He looked up at you for another moment, eyes glassy, then he wrapped his arms tightly around your middle and pressed his face into your tummy.

You expected him to let go again but he didn't. He just kept hugging you tightly, not moving an inch, not saying a word.

"Luke?", your voice quivered still.

He just shook his head and pressed himself closer to you.

"I want you to know", he finally said, well, mumbled into your belly, "that I would never ever hurt you. And you shouldn't want to hurt yourself. I understand you want that but you need care, not pain."

"Don't make me cry", you warned, voice barely a whisper. You knew he was right but you had never been cared for the way you craved, and when you had asked for it you had been pushed away, not taken seriously.

But now Luke was here and he wanted to give you all you wanted. All you needed. But you had never had someone like him your whole life and it scared you. Made you want to push him away.

You told him this and he nodded along. He understood you, he had feelings like that, too, sometimes.

"M gonna take care of you, baby", he whispered, big blue eyes looking up at you, "M gonna love you, I love you"

You bit your lip harder, breaking it a little even, as you let yourself be pulled down into Luke's lap on the bed and then turned around and laid down.

Luke immediately crawled next to you, his curly head laid on your chest, his cheek pressed over your heart, arm draped safely over your stomach and one of his thighs inbetween yours.

You both laid on the soft sheets for a while, not saying anything as your tears silently fell. Luke knew what you needed, he knew exactly what you needed.

And he knew when you had calmed down, relaxed enough so he leaned on his elbows, bracing you under him and began pressing featherly soft kisses onto your collarbones, shoulders, chin and neck.

He kept mumbling small "I love you"s and "you're so gorgeous, my beautiful girl" into your skin.

You felt weak but that was okay. Your boyfriend was taking care of you like no one ever had before.

You didn't know how to handle it, but Luke assured you that that was okay. "Just relax, I'll do everything, just lay here, baby", he said quietly. His smile as he said that was so genuine.

[completemessash]

updated my masterlist and working on my first luke imagine ❤️

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just posted a new ashton imagine ❤️

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I Would Never (a.i.)

notes: I know this is depressing but it was written for me by me. If you don't like it, just scroll past <3

Warnings: rejection, sad and well, the reality of being ugly

xxx

"Y/N, can we talk for a second?"

You looked up, meeting Ashton's eyes from where he was standing just a few feet away from you.

Too shy to say anything and already blushing, you nodded and followed him outside the house, away from the rest of the people that were having a fun barbecue. Ashton loved hosting them and he always allowed his closest friends to bring friends, hence why you were here. Again.

You knew what was coming, it had only been a matter of time until he would say something. You knew you were an annoying, awful person, you were just too boring.

"Sierra let something slip the other day", okay, so he got right to the point.

You hoped it wasn't what you thought it was but he said it: "You have a crush on me"

It wasn't a question, it was a statement. And you knew that he thought you wanted to date him and this conversation about to take place was him turning you down before you had even made a move so you quickly started talking before he could

"I would never try anything.", you said.

A confused expression washed over his face but you kept talking: "I swear. I would never and I don't intend to ever do so. Honestly, I don't even know how these things work. And don't worry, I'm working on making that crush go away. I mean I have no influence on it but I don't want it and I am actively working on getting rid of it and I will not ever try to - I don't know... chat you up?"

Your voice took a questioning tone at the end because you genuinely didn't know how people flirting with each other worked. You had only ever seen it in movies but everything went from zero to hundred there and you knew you wouldn't experience it yourself. Why would you try to get with a person that you don't find attractive? Exactly, you don't. Nobody cares, nobody cared about you.

You always acted like that was alright, but the process of coming to terms with this was still very much ongoing and unfinished.

"Oh", Ashton said after a minute of just looking at you and taking in your words, "So...okay, cool, that's cool. You know, I just wanted to say like I'm sorry but I don't feel that way towards you and -"

"No, don't worry about it, seriously, I know", you laughed and it sounded real, not broken, "No one does, don't worry about it"

Ashton's eyebrows scrunched up. He wanted to tell you something, something nice, something to say it wasn't true. But he was just as aware as you that it would have been lies, him expressing his pity for you being the way you were and destined to be lonely because no one wants an ugly partner. Ugly inside and ugly outside.

So all he did was nod, shrug and say: "Alright then, let's get back to the party?"

You smiled through the pain spreading in your body and agreed. Let's get back to the party.

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luke is doing a show i'm gonna cry

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I just reached 250 likes, that's insane to me, thank you so much ❤️❤️