complexptsdresources

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Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

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I think the most frustrating symptom with BPD is emotional impermanence. Sometimes it resets after a few days, sometimes it rests after a few hours, or even a few minutes.

It means I can’t hold on to the good. I need reminders and reassurances that people don’t hate me, that they’re still my friend, that they’re not leaving, that any silence does not mean they’ve abandoned me. And I can imagine having to repeat this over and over again does not feel good for them. It doesn’t feel good for me, either. I hate making the people I care about carry my emotional baggage.

I don’t have much advice for this one, except to say you’re not alone if you feel this way. Emotional impermanence is challenging and can put stress on relationships, but you’re not a monster, and this doesn’t inherently make you manipulative or toxic. It is navigable, it is manageable, and it’s not your fault.

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how can someone feel so much and feel so empty at the same time?

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if this aint me

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sometimes i kill myself but im fine in the morning

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Narcissism is a mental illness, not an adjective. “Narcissistic abuse” isn’t real, and the odds are that the ex or ex friend that you armchair diagnosed as an evil narcissist is just a shitty person, end of story. When a person with depression is abusive, we don’t call it depressive abuse. When an autistic person is abusive, we don’t call it autistic abuse. Stop using narcissistic abuse as a hashtag. Stop using it as a term. You’re perpetuating a harmful stereotype about a mental illness. You cannot claim to care about mental health or mental health awareness if you demonize NPD.

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Don't ask me "wyd" i really just be in my room going insane and being a danger to myself

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how difficult it is to have been an adult as a child and now a child as an adult

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i can’t explain why but “i love you” / “it’ll pass” is genuinely one of the most comforting pieces of dialogue i’ve ever come across. the context is deliberately sad, the hot priest is walking away from fleabag, choosing religion over love [“oh i don’t know what this feeling is” / “is it god or is it me?”] and it’s SICK because he loves her too [ “i can’t have sex with you because i’ll fall in love with you and if i fall in love with you, i won’t burst into flames, but my life will be fucked”] but like. it’s not a “sad ending” for the sake of being sad and realistic or an unreasonably happy ending preaching love and forever ever-afters. it doesn’t villainize or glorify the concept of love or people. it’s simply speaking the truth in the simplest of words. you’re in love with me and it’s going to make you miserable but it’ll pass. the pain will lessen and that ache in your chest will fade till it’s tolerable. you’ll laugh more often. soon it’ll be easier to get up in the mornings. this is a law, a rule, a fact. no matter how precious that pain is, how inescapable- it’ll pass. even though he’s the hot priest and she’s fleabag and they’re so obviously made to be happily in love w each other- it’ll still pass. it’s how we’re built- to persevere, to survive, to break and be okay again. 

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ppl be like “why do you make your disorder your whole personality” Rebecca my whole personality IS a disorder

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You loved me yesterday. And you don't today. I can feel it. Your words changed. Your tone changed. You said that's not true. I don't believe you. My brain tells me it's true. And now you're mad at me and don't want to talk to me the rest of the night. My brain was right like always.