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terrible situation where I am seized w the urge to transpose a hyperspecific / marginal / dead dove fanon dynamic (overwhelmed mom Obi-wan with incel son Anakin + proto/cryptic/blatant incest vibes) to a recently popular normie show (The Pitt, or more specifically, the guest patient pair comprised of the self-induced vomiting mom and her troubled, having made a kill list of his female classmates, son)

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sometimes you can tell when somebody who likes a ship just likes one of the characters and is simply using the other half as a vaguely ooc vehicle to make content for their fave which is whatever. not against the law. until the other half theyre using as a vehicle is YOUR fave. and then you want to explode them with your mind

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how would u describe ur star wars ethics?

EVERYTHING SHOULD SUCK FOREVER FOR EVERYONE!!!!! ALWAYS!!!!

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stop wishing therapy upon tv characters. sit back and enjoy the insanity. what did that one post say.. i don’t want them to communicate i want one to flush the other’s heart medication down the toilet. exactly. you should be rooting for the heart medication flusher.

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Unironically love logging onto Tumblr dot com to see a beloved mutual has discovered a new batch of sad old men to sink their teeth into and shake vigorously like a dog that caught a squirrel and following the dash backwards to the post that made them pick up the scent. Truly unparalleled social media experience.

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anyway here's me/my preferences (whether or not actually textually supported...)

working on some alignment charts...

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working on some alignment charts...

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2 quick Obikin recs while I have the tabs open bc this was originally started as a fic rec sideblog

Within Limits, now orphaned on AO3, previously under the username "sacrilegist," originally posted on livejournal in 2005, 22k, explicit

summary: "Anakin’s fustration grows as he and Obi-Wan’s tour on the Outer Rim goes on with no end in sight."

very intricately written. a lot fic will say "oh how they bantered" or "they loved to quip" or "one would never let the other have the last word" and so on and leave it as an article of faith or something in a purely decorative, adjectival way intended to add some casual flavouring to the characterization of a relationship without actually working out or even caring very much about the sources and consequences of this kind of friction. NOT SO THIS ONE. The relationship IS essentially in its very form this contestation. of words, and emotions, and status, and autonomy. I don't think I have read another Obikin fic that so explicitly and thoroughly and continuously explores some essential conflict between the two of them in this way.

am I explaining it well? I don't think so. ok. there's a lot of fic that do some aspects of power negotiation very well. or you know, Darth Vader is some variant of evil/unacceptable/way beyond the norms of permissible behaviour and Obi-Wan is... not. And that poses an intractable conflict. this fic is like... what if we have that intractable conflict BEFORE any of that even begins to fully realize itself, assume it was there all along. (I think a very common premise anyway? but rarely taken seriously and written out all the way)

I am also very predisposed to the idea the Jedi Order is very casual about sex in terms of dogma or principle, but Anakin or (in this case) Obi-Wan have specific personal reasons why they cannot be casual about sex with each other. this fic is a great example. (I also enjoy interpretations when they are casual about sex with each other. please msg/reply w recs if you know of any!)

History Never Repeats, ValiantBarnes (Cimila), 36k, mature

summary: "There's no possible way to keep track of how long Obi-wan's lived, now. He lives, he dies, he lives again. He'll wake up somewhere in the past, the possibility of change infuriatingly close but forever out of reach. Anakin always falls to Vader; the Republic always fails. The hows and whys of both are not set, Obi-wan's interference never changing anything for the better.

He quite dislikes the lives where they find themselves on Mustufar. The heat of it, the stench; Anakin's yellow eyes burning more than the lava ever could.

Sometimes, Obi-wan misses the sickly yellow of them as much as he does clear, sky blue."

if I had to pick, this is probably my favourite Obikin fic of all time. some things I really care about: intractable conflict, Obi-Wan's infinite sadness (did you know the tag "infinite sadness" on ao3 actually directs back to Obi-Wan's infinite sadness specifically???), a certain level of fidelity to canon and canon characterization if we're not going total AU or similar, murderous impulses taken to their logical conclusion

at longer length: I think I like this so much more than other (also excellent) time loop stories because it never lets go of the brutality of Vader's crimes and his personal involvement in the fall of the Republic as the underlying engine driving all of Obi-Wan's choices and actions. and so Obi-Wan will never stop trying to thwart Vader and Sidious by whatever means necessary. like of course it's a personal history/story for Obi-Wan and Anakin and that, as usual, is the emotional core of this fic. but they were also adherents of ideologies. real true believers. the violation was not only at the level of personal betrayal (and murder and maiming and so on) but a fundamental breach to belief systems they were living and dying for - ie the Republic. the destruction of everything once held dear doesn't just happen incidentally or accidentally. I read Obikin fic because I care about their relationship, but I care about their relationship because it's an artifact of a galactically rending conflict preceded and followed by centuries of rebellion and revolution, which is not something that could be avoided with just a change in disposition or temperament. there has to be a futility to the effort and at the same time there can never be any question Obi-Wan would ever stop throwing himself on the pyre of history in a seemingly hopeless attempt to put it out. Spoiler alert: we are rewarded w a HEA, a very lovely wrapped with a bow HEA, and it feels earned precisely because it was not guaranteed. to be honest I don't think I would be as emotionally satisfied or loved this as much if it was otherwise but I would almost respect it more for leaving us hanging

please read this fic I love it so much

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I've been reading a bunch of early 2000s Obi-wan/Anakin fanfic (or OA as the nomenclature went) and cannot get over how everything flips, continually.

fanon convention then seemed to be that Anakin Fell bc Obi-Wan was TOO attached, cared for him TOO much, wasn't strict ENOUGH etc etc. I think it's almost certainly the case these days that fandom prefers to write Anakin Falling bc Obi-Wan didn't show Anakin ENOUGH the depth of his attachment and his love, didn't let him know ENOUGH how much he cared, was TOO strict etc etc

much to consider

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new ship dynamic called schrodinger’s divorce where characters are simultaneously bitterly divorced and fondly married for twenty years

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notes about Derek Jarman's The Last of England (1987) / Harry Potter / Remus and Sirius / a fic rec

- I don't think I've read a definitive (cultural) history of Harry Potter that properly situates its production within the context of late 20th c / early 21st c British life. it is uncanny that it was first published the month after the election of New Labour, and the last movie (part 1) about six months after the defeat of New Labour. (Deathly Hallows part 2 came out in 2011). there's somewhat of a gap in the canon hp timeline, and the story itself only lasts so long: the 80s when nothing much seemed to have happened in universe but an interregnum, and then later, after everything ends in 1998 and then again in 2017 when "all was well." see, in the harry potter world, the lacuna was when England according to Jarman unravelled, the time of revitalized action more or less the exact time when Fukuyama proclaimed history over, and then soporific endings when history returns, d:ream OVER, actually

- don't wanna be crass or thinkpiece lite but can't help mulling this over bc there's a series of (semi experimental?) hp r/s fanfiction (one of them inspired by Derek Jarman) that I haven't read yet but have been making careful circuits around. I group it with other shot-through w politics fanfic as late millenial attempts at reckoning w empire, post 90s academy pomo/poco hegemony, through the prism of tumblr/mass popularization of/access to said poco/pomo university humanities hegemony

- consider, crassly: the naked man and the clothed balaclava-clad one fucking on the flag. ok which one of you is the sirius and which one is the remus?

- trying to make sense of history in pop cult. and then history: other. the oddities in the mismatching is how these (re) imaginings happen

- side note in an review comprised only of side notes, reminded by the Derek Jarman cameo in Prick up Your Ears: I still don't get how Stephen Frears can go from making the stuff he does in the 80s to High Fidelity in 2000 to Victoria & Abdul in 2017. his endorsement of Corbyn even in 2019 provides part of a clue, I guess...

- thinking of the landscape of The Last of England, when reading this: with the words going out like cells of a brain. the ratata of machine guns are absent, but I imagine everything else fitting quite well. even the wedding at the end, of a tempo with the gruesome portraits at 12 G and then finally Sirius's return [jkr disclaimer statement: none in notes and otherwise unknown, as it's an orphan'd work but can't imagine a disclaimer stronger than orphaning yr work so]

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hankering for an Asteroid City wolfstar AU bc Conrad Earp Jones Hall is extremely r/s coded by which I mean this post is the coding I'm encoding it into being

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been fuming for a few days so I gotta speak my truth - simply unconscionable to write an r/s myspace-era-indie band au and use The Arctic Monkeys as the template and not The Libertines like what the fuck

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i think we as a society need to start accepting that fictional love stories need to be a bit toxic for us to go insane over them… like, sometimes you kinda need the two parties to be obsessed with each other and fucked up and willing to bring each other back from the dead instead of moving on and go to therapy i’m sorry😔

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yr self destruction spiral : prob something fun and useful like wikipedia or hookups or drugs

mine: I've spent 96 hrs doing nothing but reading hp fic in 2023 I rly do deserve to d- signal interference channel transmission lost

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I'm sure I read this recently, especially the interrupted "something rotten in the state of denmark" part, but the closest thing I could find is from Second Spin (excerpt below) which doesn't have that line. false implanted memory? but I swear it was there, and remember the tone being different too - less flippant, more bitter.

After a few more minutes of contemplation, his eyes fell on one of Remus’ dusty Shakespeare books, which was shoved haphazardly under a corner of his bed. Perfect. Reciting stuffy poetry was exactly the right seduction strategy for Sirius’ brand new gay lifestyle. Remus would surely find that touching and impressive, and if Sirius chose a bit with dirty jokes (Remus had assured him Shakespeare was full of these) it would probably make him laugh too. He couldn't fail.

Unfortunately, this particular book was Hamlet, which Remus had him told about. A story about a crazy fellow haunted by ghosts where everyone died by the end was definitely not romantic. He tossed it aside and examined the other books in the pile. Much Ado About Nothing was rather the opposite of the impression he wanted to give. A Midsummer Night’s Dream, now that sounded promising. Hopefully, some of the dreams were naughty. Maybe he could make Remus blush. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

Hi, I hope this isn't too annoying but could you please help me find a fic? I read it a couple of years ago, I'm pretty sure on ao3. I can't for the life of me remember anything except that it was Hogwarts-era and Remus was really into Shakespeare (??) and Sirius got in a snit with him about it. There was also a scene where they tried reading/acting out some of the plays and Remus went in with Hamlet, 'There's something rotten in the state of–' but Sirius said 'not that one'. Sorry this is so vague and thank you for everything you do!

Unfortunately there was an era of wolfstar fic that contained a lot of Shakespeare references, which makes this hard to search for. If anyone knows this one, though, please let me know!

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Yuletide Recs - Inside Llewyn Davis, The Man From U.N.C.L.E, American Ultra

Inside Llewyn Davis (2013) I Will Make Me a Home Out in the Wind** Harmonies for one.

I love the way this writes around the edges of something, but leaves the thing-in-itself out, just beyond the frame. I love how the best way to bring something out is to define its absence.

air and ash and vapor** Timlin & Davis minus Timlin is only Llewyn, singing lead.

perfect grief, perfect dreariness.

The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015) Two Men, Crossing the Street** “They are useless to their countries,” he says slowly. “Everyone knows their real names, their faces. A spy who cannot spy. Is like – like a car that cannot drive. Useless.” “Ah,” Napoleon says quietly, as if he finally understands what Illya is so angry about. But he doesn’t, Illya thinks, he can’t know, not really, and he isn’t sure if it’s sadness or relief he feels at the thought.

I had a lot of trouble continuing to watch The Americans because of the bad race politics and also because it was getting too close to the end of the Cold War and Reaganomics and too depressing to bear. I liked this though, despite the politics. The meditation on utility and value (lol use value, exchange value) would have been enormously grating if it was any less skillfully handled. I liked it a lot. The end is the perfect kind of sentimental.

American Ultra (2015) Assignment: Asset Mike Howell** Five years ago, the Ultra program was terminated. Five years ago, she brought Mike Howell to the tiny, podunk town of Liman, West Virgina. Her assignment: spend one month reintegrating him into society. Help him get a job. Don't get too close. Leave at the end of the month. She's good at her job. She always completes her assignments. Well... until now.

It is strange I am responding so much to sweetness and sentimentality in bad situations. I think that's part of why I really liked the movie. It could have been tortured and claustrophobic, it could have gone that route with the sleeper agents, erased lives, brainwashing tropes. But it went with another set of tropes, and I'm really glad it stuck to it. A much better stoner movie than Pineapple Express. Giving rise to perfect little snapshot fics like this one.