confessions-of-an-evil-bitch - Tumblr blog

[confessions-of-an-evil-bitch]

"You can make it up to me if you want to And it'll be up to me to decide what I want to do"

[confessions-of-an-evil-bitch]

I stopped writing here and finally told him how I feel. Worst. Mistake. Of my LIFE.

[confessions-of-an-evil-bitch]

Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud-gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?

 Dwight Schrute, The Office (2.21)

[confessions-of-an-evil-bitch]

Well, i guess we're back to almost wanting to kill each other

[confessions-of-an-evil-bitch]

*siggghh*

[confessions-of-an-evil-bitch]

Remember that time at Cher's place, when i had that stupid drip needle up my wrist and i needed to take it out, but i had only one free hand. So i guided you on how to take it out and it was all bloody and disgusting and you were freaking out like that scene from iron man when she has to replace the arc reactor on his chest and you were freaking out because you thought it hurt. But you were so gentle and loving and after it was off you put a cartoon bandaid on it and kept kissing my wrist to make the pain go away. I loved that attention daddy. And I'm so glad to be back in your safe arms again.

[confessions-of-an-evil-bitch]

Confession...

Its not the sex. Its the location. I don't feel safe daddy. It's not because of you. I do trust you more than i trust myself and i know if anything happens you will keep me safe. But daddy i cant shake that feeing off.

[confessions-of-an-evil-bitch]

Daddy, you took my breath away. Thank you for the most romantic date in the hills. It was so beautiful. So very beautiful. And i looked pretty too!! You know i love it when i look all dolled up and it ends up being a crazy romantic date. And you know suspenders make my knees weak. It was all perfect daddy. So very perfect. And i loved it so much and i love you so very very very much!! Thank you daddy. I cant stop smiling like a retard in my pink shalwar kameez.

[confessions-of-an-evil-bitch]

First date back home. And first fight too. At roasters. While having food. You couldn't keep it away for more than forty five minutes. Things got better after the sex though. They always do. We fight until we fuck and then we're perfect again. I love that we have something that brings us back together, but does it ever bother you that that thing is basically sex. And it might not be healthy. Maybe its what makes the fighting worse?

[confessions-of-an-evil-bitch]

Well I'm coming home daddy. Back to the sex and fighting. Juba didn't work out. Thank you civil fucking war. I know you'll be disappointed, that I'm not excited about coming home. But its not my fault daddy. ITS YOURS!! YOU HAD TO DO IT AGAIN DIDNT YOU. ALL THE WAY BACK FROM CAIRO. TWO TRANSITS AND A NINE HOUR JOURNEY. AND TEARS THROUGHOUT. THANK YOU FOR THAT LOVELY LOVELY WELCOME DADDY. SO GLAD TO BE BACK.

[confessions-of-an-evil-bitch]

Fuck. War in Juba. I'm in Egypt. And i have to leave in a few days. Only i dont know if I'll get to go back to Juba or come back home. I want to come back home. I really do. But. Chipmunk. I left him in Juba. I need to get him back. Daddy. I'm worried.

[confessions-of-an-evil-bitch]

Well, here i go to Egypt. Yet another wish on the big list of things I'll never get to do with you.

[confessions-of-an-evil-bitch]

I dont know what happened last night. All i remember is lying down in front of the tv with the lights out and daddy reading me a bedtime story over the phone. It was my favourite storybook too!! A twisted sexed up version of sleeping beauty. And somewhere in between i dozed off. And had the most peaceful sleep in these last six, seven weeks. Every Time i think about it it makes me giggle. But then it kinda makes me a little sad too. That i could have had this every night in your arms had i been good enough for marriage. And then this weird feeling swoops in. Is this how it’s always going to be daddy? Will i always feel this way? Happy for a little while and then depressed about how i didn’t deserve more? I know i have no right to complain about it but i just want to know. Is this how it’s always going to be?

[confessions-of-an-evil-bitch]

I got so scared. I thought i was almost dead. The sound, the people, the commotion, it was crazy. Okay maybe you were right about working in conflict zones. But that's what I've always wanted to do. I don't know how to make you understand that. But daddy i love you very very very very very very very very very very cery very very very very very very very very very very very veru very very very much. The minute i heard your voice everything calmed down. I felt safe all of a sudden. Which is weird because I'm a good 5000 miles away from you but daddy. I need you. I need you so bad. Hearing your voice makes me feel better and safe and all of a sudden, i truly believe everything is going to be fine even though i know what a bunch kf crap that is. Bit daddy. Thank you. :*

[confessions-of-an-evil-bitch]

Do you think I would've made a beautiful bride, Daddy?

[confessions-of-an-evil-bitch]

Daddy i know i know but it hurts daddy. I wanted it so bad. I wanted you that bad. But daddy. It hurts now. I wanted to look pretty and feel special and have that one day that makes everything perfect. It was my idea of a happily ever after daddy. And now it just hurts.

[confessions-of-an-evil-bitch]

Thank you for calling me last night daddy. You helped me finally go to sleep :*