conjamin

[conjamin]

why are you obsessed with lifting weights. there's literally no point to it.

I’ll let you in on a little secret: when you get better at lifting weights you also get better at lifting everything else. The muscles can’t tell the difference! They’re fucking idiots!!!

[conjamin]

look at this photo of my stepdad

[conjamin]

elizabeth swan and will turner are actually SO romance in the first movie and not enough people acknowledged this because the early 2000s were the age of the edgelords who only valued jack sparrow’s moral ambiguity and that is the TRUTH

[conjamin]

hello fish, i love you, hope u have a good 2018

[conjamin]

you have to actively push jealous thoughts out of your mind. actively celebrate when good things happen to other people. actively choose to not compare yourself. actively decide that someone else’s success doesn’t mean your failure.

of course, “i” am included in that “you.” i choose to push those thoughts out of my mind because i refuse to walk around in bitterness, because that bitterness will make me miss out on appreciating the life that i have

[conjamin]

you know what I appreciate? how Terry Jeffords has three daughters, and there has never been any jokes or comments about how he’d like to have a boy one day, or how he’s trying to turn one of the girls into a boy by getting her into sports, or how he feels “outnumbered” in a house with four women/girls. not one. it’s so refreshing to see a tv family with all daughters where the dad doesn’t treat them like a disappointment

[conjamin]

[conjamin]

Well, looks like Matilda Jones, aged seven, is the new ruler of Great Britain sorry I don’t make the rules.

[conjamin]

what if James had transformed into his animagus form when Voldemort showed up and Voldemort was like WTF WHY IS THERE A DEER IN THIS HOUSE

They had not drawn the curtains; he saw them quite clearly in their little sitting room, the tall black-haired man in his glasses, making puffs of colored smoke erupt from his wand for the amusement of the small black-haired boy in his blue pajamas. The child was laughing and trying to catch the smoke, to grab it in his small fist … A door opened and the mother entered, saying words he cold not hear, her long dark-red hair falling over her face. Now the father scooped up the son and handed him to the mother. He threw his wand down upon the sofa and stretched, yawning… The gate creaked a little as he pushed it open, but James Potter did not hear. His white hand pulled out the wand beneath his cloak and pointed it at the door, which burst open… He was over the threshold when suddenly a giant stag came galloping into the hall. ‘What the fuck!’ yelled Voldemort as the majestic beast charged at him, headbutting his balls. Voldemort fell to the floor in agony, bleeding profusely and crying from embarrassment. Lily Potter laughed and shooed him outside with a broom. The shame was too much. He would never return to this place again. 

[conjamin]

Elite Dangerous is one hell of an amazing game. My massive ship, and my moon buggy.

[conjamin]

Love this. (via Brovegna)

[conjamin]

So there is a movie called Ghost Shark, and this is pretty much all you need to know about it.

[conjamin]

nothing is quite as Good and Pure as owl city trying to protect his fans from the mosquitoes

[conjamin]

concept: willy wonka and harry potter take place in the same universe the ministry of magic haaaates Willy Wonka

[conjamin]

my favourite thing about big dogs is when you push ‘em over they’re just like 

“oh i’m lying down now! someone might scratch my stomach!!! i might nap!! endless possibilities!!!’

[conjamin]

I used to be that person who read two 400-page books a week. Now I carry around a book with me everywhere I go to try and remember what it feels like to feel that connection within the pages because I can’t concentrate to read further than a paragraph, or remember it, for that matter. Every time I see someone engrossed in a novel, it’s bittersweet, because I miss what it is like to get lost in the written word. I just want to be able to read like that again.