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push / push back

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custody of a fictional character should get transferred to you once you spend more hours thinking about them than their creator ever did

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Eraserhead baby labubu

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Some mystery writers suffer from making their detective characters too inhumanly clever, with flawless and logical reasoning.

Asimov never made that mistake. He really just had Elijah Baley go in front of the chief of police, point at his android partner, and say “This man is no robot! He faked his own murder and is now pretending to be a robot! I know this because I peeped on him in the bathroom and his penis was incredibly lifelike. No one would give a robot such a realistic penis!” and then has a panic attack and passes out when he finds out that the genitals he’d been ogling were not, in fact, genuine human flesh and his robot partner is made entirely of metal.

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ah yes. me. my boyfriend. and the faster, stronger, and more resilient version of himself

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If you are a vampire NEVER feed from someone named Richard. 400 fucking years and everyone still calls me Dick Sucker

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okay we need to have an intervention.

i've noticed that people don't leave the same kind of unhinged compliments under fanfics that visual artists usually receive (eg, "i want to eat your art"), so i've come up with a list that you need to start employing when your friends send you their WIPs and when your favorites update on ao3 but you're having a hard time commenting something that sounds intelligent and you still want to support them

"you're like if [famos author] (eg, Victor Hugo if the fic is angst) was into [fandom]"

"well THIS has been added to my pre-sleep daydream schedule"

"this fic invaded my mind and consumed my brain like a spore"

"I'M LOSING SLEEP OVER THIS ONE, FOLKS"

"yOu'Ve AlReAdY lEfT kUdOs HeRe"

"this fic has me scratching at my yellow wallpaper, it's so good"

"this fic has me checking under my floorboards for the heart of a kind man i murdered, it's so good"

"i'm making my parents read this"

"i know only one chapter is out so far, but i'm going to print this out, staple it together, and put it on my bookshelf next to the canon material"

"this fic gave me another mental illness"

(you can only do this one once) "i made an ao3 account specifically to bookmark this"

"i'm going to print this out so i can eat the words on the paper"

and a couple that are just nice (without the feral nature):

"i made a custom playlist to listen to while i read this fic"

"this fic reminds me of [song]"

"i really liked the part where [x], it really stuck with me"

"i really liked this line, [quote the line,] it was so well-written!"

artists: draw fanart of the fic!! it doesn't matter if you think your art skills are good and it doesnt matter if it's just a sketch!! let the author see it!!

make a moodboard!! for the fic!! let the author see it!!

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Bad Influence

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I told @sevdrag that I was mailing her my still-beating heart to be cut into quarters and split evenly between herself, @epicqtefail , Hank "not when the government's wearing twink shorts" Anderson, and Connor's wedgie and I'm not at all horrified I said it because it's true and Thank You, Mr. Postman is iconic. Go read it.

okay we need to have an intervention.

i've noticed that people don't leave the same kind of unhinged compliments under fanfics that visual artists usually receive (eg, "i want to eat your art"), so i've come up with a list that you need to start employing when your friends send you their WIPs and when your favorites update on ao3 but you're having a hard time commenting something that sounds intelligent and you still want to support them

"you're like if [famos author] (eg, Victor Hugo if the fic is angst) was into [fandom]"

"well THIS has been added to my pre-sleep daydream schedule"

"this fic invaded my mind and consumed my brain like a spore"

"I'M LOSING SLEEP OVER THIS ONE, FOLKS"

"yOu'Ve AlReAdY lEfT kUdOs HeRe"

"this fic has me scratching at my yellow wallpaper, it's so good"

"this fic has me checking under my floorboards for the heart of a kind man i murdered, it's so good"

"i'm making my parents read this"

"i know only one chapter is out so far, but i'm going to print this out, staple it together, and put it on my bookshelf next to the canon material"

"this fic gave me another mental illness"

(you can only do this one once) "i made an ao3 account specifically to bookmark this"

"i'm going to print this out so i can eat the words on the paper"

and a couple that are just nice (without the feral nature):

"i made a custom playlist to listen to while i read this fic"

"this fic reminds me of [song]"

"i really liked the part where [x], it really stuck with me"

"i really liked this line, [quote the line,] it was so well-written!"

artists: draw fanart of the fic!! it doesn't matter if you think your art skills are good and it doesnt matter if it's just a sketch!! let the author see it!!

make a moodboard!! for the fic!! let the author see it!!

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READ ALL ABOUT IT!! Man vs Machine in epic battle to be the least normal about receiving and delivering mail! Michigan Drive residents hate them!

Chapter 4 is here! Brought to you by the absolutely ridiculous, hilarious author @sevdrag as part of our collaboration project Wait a Minute Mr. Postman for the 2024 DBH Reverse Big Bang event! @dbh-bb

WARNING: spoiler art under the cut!

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what can I even say?

good thing @sevdrag's chapter 3 of our Reverse Big Bang 2024 collaboration project Wait a Minute Mr. Postman can sprinkle some clarity on this mess!

Read Sevdrag's Mr. Postman work here!

@dbh-bb

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i've been looking for you. got something i'm supposed to deliver, your hands only... let's see here.. It's chapter 2 of Wait a Minute, Mr. Postman from the master of hijinks & shenanigans @sevdrag

Here is Sev's magnificent, hilariously written Chapter 2 of our DBH Reverse Big Bang Event 2024 collaboration project! @dbh-bb

Hank just wants to enjoy his peace and quiet. Like the good lord intended

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Hank Anderson wants nothing more than he has right now: working a very quiet night shift, watching shows with his kid on the weekends, walking his dog, and generally not having to give a fuck. The muted peacefulness of his life is interrupted when an android sent by the United States Postal Office makes it his mission that Hank receives his mail daily -- which Hank has been dodging for years, because physical post should be obsolete and, also, see the bit about not giving a fuck. Unfortunately, this RK800 - called Connor - only cares about the requirements of his mission, which tell Connor to ensure legal and timely delivery of the mail, no matter the obstacles he needs to overcome. Hank thinks Connor needs to obey the instructions of the humans around him. Connor knows he needs to accomplish his objectives. Somehow between the two of them, they fuck up a whole lot of shit before they slowly develop what might be a truly meaningful relationship. Again, it ain't that easy. Expect unexpected deliveries, sprinklers in your face, begrudging trips to both kinds of hospitals, a lot of embarrassingly confusing questions, Rube Goldberg traps, extensive apologies, a lot of exploration of what it means to be human, and a bunch of ridiculous bullshit as this all happens. Brought to you by @sevdrag and @epicqtefail , this is your mailman universe for the 2024 DBH RBB @dbh-bb

🎵 doooo wa wa wadoooooo wa wa wadoooo wa wa wadoooo mr postman 🎵

MASSIVE thanks to my collab partner Sev! you took this weird comic/premise and turned it into a whole batshit story, made it yours too and made it real. You're a delight to work with, you make me laugh with sounds i've never made before, and I can't wait to carry on with what we've started. Thank you, my Severything.

Read Sevdrag's Mr Postman work here!

final note: credit goes to Sev for Hank's spongebob boxers :']

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had the kind of week that only small-scale michealsoft paint uwu hank can help remedy

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still thinking about how connor is so wet and unbothered in his first few chapters

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crying my eyes out i'm having a rough art day and WHO THE HELL IS THAT?? WHO ARE YOU???

this bastard's your spittin' image

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