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I've been scared so long lately, I had forgotten about music

But there are still songs

And there are still flowers

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Sponsors

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For the

Phone

I'm use-ing.

One day

All this

will

Be fields.

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Storied

Others they seem to be

A straight line a story

That holds together

I wish I could have that.

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Maybe it's Deserved

Going downwards side

Ways it's the right way to

Travel now don't look at

People on the internet it

Used to be about bringing

Everyone together but now

It seems to be about pushing

Us further apart I mean have

You seen the graffiti at Pompeii?

We have almost always been

Basically just filthbags.

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my therapist says make friends with your monsters, josé olivarez

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One Thing

Better to do a thousand things badly

Than one thing well.

Expertise is an obsession

And I want to be everything.

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Disclaim

This is not the best I can do ()

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Permanency

paint, daubed drastic frenetic and frantic, alone on a hollow winter’s night, howling at walls, at trucks in the rain, trying to create a masterpiece, one of passion, of pain, of sound, surreal permanence. all else will wash away.

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Goals I

scream so hard you shatter

[...]

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Sleepy Fascism

Sometimes you don't decide to stay; you just avoid deciding to leave.

Being ok is better than what most will ever have or ever will ever get.

(You don't love or hate your job; you don't love or hate your partner...but you stay with them.)

Change can be such a drag and what if you leave to a job that's worse or a partner who is worse than this deeply average specimen ?

Dating is a job interview. Job interviews are dates. Both are stressful.

Maybe what you have now is the best you can get.

I suppose I am trying to say that being ok can sometimes just seem like a form of sleepy fascism . It's forgotten to wear the uniform but you can feel it, you can feel it.

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Nip

I've lost

This isn't--

Just leave it.

I can't stand the thought

Contaminated

Contaminated

Contaminated

Everyone stains everyone.

I can see their hands on me

Their nails down my back

When I close my eyes

Or am in your arms.

We leave our marks on them,

They leave their marks on us;

We are all, each, diminished.

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A list of mistakes, numbered in order of severity

Sexual regrets (see also: 'What was I thinking')

Drunk goodbyes, trying to fake sobriety

Settling when no one else is available

Listening to bad advice from parental units and figures

Falling asleep with world news on. Guaranteed Bad Dreams //

I keep waking up choking. I think I've forgotten when someone strangled me.

Thinking this is all there is

Never being sure who you have is who you want

Artwork of people's bodies with the faces scribbled out. It's all I see when I close my eyes

Cracked phone screens

I'm staggered by leaves falling innumerable in the autumn wind. Beauty is all around in this hollow mire, you just need to find it hidden under rotting logs and in the warm shadows.

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In a Moment

Listening to a heartbeat in the

rain as it comes down,

lovestruck and thunderous,

older than empty churches,

and scattered on the mountains.

What was this moment if

not a future memory? Can

you feel yourself forgetting it?

Could you know that you won't

remember this day with all the rain

and all the heartbreak that came with it ?

Every darkening second tossed by the wind

and cast against the sides of houses;

A howling night's storm that never ends.

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Musuems

too done to do any thing today, i cartwheel into yesterday, a daydream of dust without time, of hope without a border. what places are these, the stonewrought museums of our past, kissed by a sun that set, and has set, a thousand times since? would that i could go back there, and do everything differently, make a new set of mistakes, to bring me forward to here, to do it wrong all over again.

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Right Here

So many couples So many people So many in love Smiling uploading Their photos to Facebook etc etc And here I am Here I am.