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[constantthrowup]

Even tho i was alone for like 5 days i still barely moved in regards with my weight

But my steps have been 10k or more so thats good

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Been housesitting so ive been fasting for longer im hoping to be under 190 by Thursday

Just need to stop snacking like a greedy dog

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cutting isnt enough i need to blow my head off

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I finally skipped lunch

Im getting back into finally also all my kandi beads came in yippeeee i should show yall my bracelets im obsessed with making cuffs rn

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Wooo the alcohol showed in my last night posts

I did not work on my office much last night also so like bruh

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I wish my mom loved me

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What if i paced in my new office room for like an hour at least and just get 10k steps cause like

I need to get to my goals

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FUCK lower stomach fat. All my homies HATE lower stomach fat.

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I feel so cringe for relapsing but also like i want to again

But this heat is killing meeeee and long sleeves kill in the heat

But i also just kinda dont care

Idk

Trying to clean this room out for my desk and stuff

Wish me luck yall

I wish i had more alcohol…..

I am my fathers son

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Currently fsting i think im out of my funk now and it only took relasping and binging like an idiot

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I relapsed rant below

I just couldnt do it anymore im sorry

Now i have some

Worst part is they arent super deep so i feel like i should have done more

Idk

Im tired

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Gonna try to weigh every week instead of everyday

Or at least only log it every friday instead if logging everyday

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Just a post to say that regardless of what i post yall dont need to worry about me

I like venting on here this is the closest thing i have to a journal

I used to write but my partner looked in it once and i havent touched it since

So yeah if my post is very serious or kinda graphic please dont worry

I just write anything bad to kind get ut off my chest in a sense?

But yeah

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the cycle of life

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I need/want to fall in love with the feeling of hunger again

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Tw bday angst and i still want to d*e and venting

Its my birthday

I ate way too much

Im not going into more detail about that

Still feel like relapsing

And i still hate the fact theres a day where people acknowledge that i came into existence

I wish i never did

Truly do

I dont deserve to be here

Going to watch videos and chill with my partner

Good night.

[constantthrowup]

I know i post like all the time about how i think im going to relaspe ( 🔪 ) like everytime but everytime feels very close to doing it

And i was almost going to yesterday

I might tonight

Genuinely