consultingchaos

[consultingchaos]

anyway in case you don’t know it yet

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snoopy of the day

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Ok I see your "Batfam playing Catan" and raise you "Batman playing Diplomacy" (Alfred is this close to banning it and burning the board), the game literally built on making, breaking, and bullshitting alliances. I have watched marriages almost end over this game.

you know, I’ve never actually played that game but you've got me intrigued! I’m gonna have to give it a try now

[consultingchaos]

Dude has a death wish

[consultingchaos]

Things just transpired in my house hold that are equal parts offensive and hilarious… Here goes.

So my roommate, Dale, has a gf who does not live with us, but she’s here all the time. So Sunday when my gf was her we were on the couch and we kissed (scandalous, I know) and she saw it, and I’m pretty sure that’s the first time she’s seen us be affectionate, that’s neither here nor there.

So today she tells Dale she’s “uncomfortable” here and wants him to move out because she thinks me and my lady are going to hit on her or something, she doesn’t like living with lesbians, cause it’s not “normal”, so now I’m pissed. Then, Dale goes, “well you don’t live here, so it shouldn’t be a problem, just stop coming over”…things escalated and Dale is trying to break up with her, but she won’t leave our house….she locked herself in Dales room.

So, Dale barges in my room wearing a bathrobe and goes, “call every lesbian you know, we’re smoking this bitch out!” Then turns around and whips his robe like a cape…

And that’s the story of how there are 8 lesbians climbing through the window of Dales room…

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I think the most hilarious place to put Post-Canon Sokka would have been the university at Ba Sing Se. I think he would have made a great unhinged professor. Also, in true Sokka fashion, he should have completely dodged fame. Momo is more famous than he is.

He wants to demonstrate to the class how this thing called electricity works, so he's going to be bringing in a Firebender, so everybody be cool, we're all friends here... and in walks Princess Azula of the Fire Nation. One-time conqueror of the city. One of the students is currently writing an essay on how her brief rule of the city affected fruit trade. She says she considers the class to still be her subjects as she doesn't acknowledge any pretenders to any of her thrones, but for now you're exempted from bowing and "Your Highness" will do. It's a really interesting lecture.

"Okay, guys - hey, listen up, everyone - I won't be here next week, me and Aang are going to-" yeah right, sure, Professor Sokka knows the Avatar. Except, of course, the Avatar walks in sheepishly and says that Appa might have gotten into Sokka's hybrid crops, and then you all have to sit there and watch your professor chase the Avatar around with a sword.

One postgrad student is specializing in Water Tribe Cultures. She's currently studying the massive cultural shift that happened in the Northern Water Tribe at the end of the war - oh, and Professor, I absolutely know that you're from the Southern Water Tribe, but it's just that the shift started with Master Katara, and of course I don't think that every person from the South knows one another haha it's just that I need to ask her some questions and I thought maybe you could help me write a letter or write a letter of introduction or...

Sokka looks at her blankly and goes "yeah, she's my sister. KATARA!" which is followed by a faint answering "fuck you!" from Somewhere and to the horror/elation of our postgrad, Master Katara bursts in and is promptly beaned in the head with a rock by Professor Sokka. Her brother. her hero and her professor are siblings and currently brawling on the floor.

Sokka does not teach or study history, but he does sometimes sit in on lectures about recent history. Whenever he does, several doctoral students flock in to sit near him (even if it's an intro course) so that they can eavesdrop on his grumbling. (No matter how they try, an "overheard utterance" is not a valid source according to their professors. No, we have no sources on the Avatar's bison taking part in combat - sky bison are not war animals and...)

He gets regular deliveries with the Beifong family crest on them, and he goes "sweet, Toph must have found some new minerals" and at this point nobody needs to ask which Toph. He seems to have friends everywhere, literally everywhere. Wang was headed out to this massive swamp to study if it's one big organism, and Sokka told him to find some guy named Hue and "don't mind the loincloth." One time the university gets shut down because the Earth King wants to visit. Oh, visit the University? What an honor- Of fucking course not, he wants to visit Professor Sokka, who yells at him and his royal guards for interrupting his day. The Earth King and his many, many royal guards then sheepishly say sorry and file out.

The last straw is when - not a week after he yelled at the Earth King - the assistant head of the Political Science dept walks in to the faculty lounge to find Sokka having tea with a nice normal man dressed in Earth greens for once, and can't resist a little joke. "Let me guess, you're having tea with the Fire Lord." And then she can instantly tell that she fucked up, because both of them go stock still.

So when the two men awkwardly stand up and proceed to introduce the Fire Lord whose portrait she has in her office because she is the assistant head of Political Science as Li, a server at the Jasmine Dragon, she just says "hello Li" and leaves to find a bottle of something strong.

[consultingchaos]

while we're still alectopaused i'd just like to shout out gideon's personal monkey's paw hell. she has left the ninth house; her father is god; she has been elevated to the highest rank in the cohort; she is untouchable and invulnerable, seeing active combat against sinister foes that lesser warriors couldn't possibly stand against; harrowhark nonagesamis has died or been erased, either way ensuring that she never has to see her again. kiriona gaia has gotten literally everything that she always wanted, and all it cost her was what she found along the way.

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head in hands. Nona dreams of the pool scene bc she's in Harrow's body. and Harrow dreams of john explaining his rise to power to Alecto post-nukes pre-everything else bc she's in Alecto's body. they dream each other's most important memories.

[consultingchaos]

Being ace and hot is a nightmare sometimes, I met this guy in my neighborhood, we live literally 200m away from each other, he's funny and witty and a genuine delight to talk to, and YESTERDAY he makes it clear he's flirting so now I'm trying to figure out how to turn him down and also throw my single friends at him because he really is a great catch, but I don't eat fish so he's wasted on me.

So now I have to figure out how to say 'I think, based on your tastes, I have some girlfriends you might like and they'd love to take you home, doggy walking same time next week?' in human speak.

[consultingchaos]

I’m paying to force seven thousand strangers to see a photo of my late husband having fun with his dog. Tumblr Blaze is totally worth it. XD

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[consultingchaos]

I’ve been told my entire life not to take showers or baths during thunderstorms because lightening can travel through the plumbing and you know what? I don’t care anymore. If God decides to kill me in that ridiculous manner, it’ll be a hell of a way to go. Going to take the risk. Fuck it.

[consultingchaos]

[consultingchaos]

anyone done this yet ?

[consultingchaos]

I think Donna and Clara meeting has some serious comedic potential because Clara is a control freak and Donna fights with literally anyone who tries to boss her around, but at the same time they're on almost the exact same page about the Doctor. The only difference is Donna treats him like a poor little meow meow man and Clara treats him like a toddler. The end result is almost identical though.

And either Clara would end up being the idiot wrangler when the Doctor and Donna are put in the same room, or we'd get a phenomenal three halves of a whole idiot dynamic that is EXTREMELY chaotic.

[consultingchaos]

Them Widows 🕷️💥

(also as stickers and other merch)

[consultingchaos]

Flight logistics!