convoluted-mind - Tumblr blog

[convoluted-mind]

it doesn’t matter how good your arguments are

it doesn’t matter how eloquent your conversation is

it doesn’t matter how coherent you are

it doesn’t matter how right you are

you’ll always be told you’re overreacting

you’ll always be told you shouldn’t be so angry

[convoluted-mind]

[convoluted-mind]

My parents always tell me to never fall in love with someone else who has baggage. The problem with that is it disproves this fact: you have been places and you are going places, separately from and with me. I want to lie down in bed with you and have you lay out all of your suitcases. I want you to show me the dress you wore when you were seven and that neighborhood girl, Sara, kissed you on the nose. I want you to show me the pair of shoes you wore when we first met, with your shoe laces so dirty from walking around this city and finding pieces of yourself in the alleyways. Please lay out that gown you wore those three days when you were in the hospital with scars on your skin because it was easier to hate yourself than to love. Please let me hold that bracelet you threw into the Ocean from the first boy that broke your heart and ended up kissing another girl that same night and taking her home, fucking her so hard that the Milky Way wasn’t a good enough metaphor to articulate how he felt coming home. I will dress you up in my eighteen year old skin where B. and I sat instead of danced during prom, crying over certain things that we could not keep inside for much longer. I will let you wear that sweater I wore the first night I kissed you underneath a street lamp, as the snow was falling into the light, I was falling into you, wholeheartedly. I will let you wear that shirt you slipped over your self after that first night we spent together, in bed, learning how to love someone properly, in a more physical sense than ever before. And then I want to pack all of these bags and stuff them back into our lungs, so that our histories will always leak out of our breath. We will not forget how heavy we felt once and how light we feel now, in comparison. I want to know your history, simply, even the darkest corners, so maybe me being there will make them lighter and make both of us appreciate the dim light of the Moon because it was there, even if we did not always notice it.

Andrew M., Going / Growing (via deliciates)

[convoluted-mind]

[convoluted-mind]

Such a funny thing to fear food. How can you look at a muffin and be scared? Why is yogurt okay, but ice cream be the start of tears? How can steak make you worry? How can restaurants cause such chaos? …it’s just food. Right? Why am I so scared of food?

[convoluted-mind]

[convoluted-mind]

Be your own hero

Do your own saving

Buy yourself flowers

Be your own lover

Be your own fighter

Don’t wait

Fall in love with yourself

Your body isn’t to be politicized

Fall out of love with yourself

Don’t let your dreams get the best of you

It’s hard to stay grounded

Do things to make your heavy heart lighter

Rome wasn’t built in a day, same goes for your life.

These things take time.

[convoluted-mind]

really though

if breasts, butts and legs are so distracting to men, to the point they cant function

why arent they that distracting to lesbians

and at that point

why isnt the penis bulge and legs not distracting enough to gay men to warrant men being put under the same dress codes

[convoluted-mind]

sassy harry 

[convoluted-mind]

[convoluted-mind]

V

Everyone has their own troubles. They shouldn't be caught up with mine.

[convoluted-mind]

IV

I don't want to live with people. I crave to live alone.

I'll just continue my cat collection. I already have five.

[convoluted-mind]

III

The more I love myself, the more others will love me.

[convoluted-mind]

[convoluted-mind]

II

I've lived in this house all my life and I've been too sentimental to leave it. But as it's becoming more and dilapidated, I feel my attachment to this place crumble away too. Soon I'll be ready to leave. 

[convoluted-mind]

There needs to be a code word or something that means “my brain is fighting me every step of the way today and I feel like I’m going to vibrate out of my skin, so I need you to forgive everything and go slowly and speak softly and lower your expectations.” And then we could all just be like, “I know I said we could go to a movie tonight but… tangerines.” And the other person would nod and squeeze your elbow or rub your head and you wouldn’t feel like a failure.

[convoluted-mind]

this is the #1 thing i struggle with