convos-about-adoption

[convos-about-adoption]

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1SAe6HBYpqAgpE1277Bl5y?si=KFisI0qvQkOPWK3kjp9cXw

#podcast #adoption #author #adopteevoices

[convos-about-adoption]

I am a pro-choice adoptee born before abortion was legal in 1973 and I'm still a pro-choice adoptee. People call me on grateful and ask me if I would have rather been aborted when I speak out against the institution of adoption... And I simply say if I had been aborted I would have never known so it doesn't really matter. Living life as an adoptee is no picnic or four times more likely to attempt suicide we are overrepresented and mental health care and substance abuse. it's no picnic.

[convos-about-adoption]

https://open.spotify.com/show/79DTd7Thb1joVpOByJ5fLA?si=EstGqKCuQFCctQK9CBNA1Q

[convos-about-adoption]

Children in crisis do not exist to be a resource for you to build a family if you can’t or don’t want to have biological children but you still want to be a parent.

Children in crisis do not exist to heal your infertility trauma.

Children in crisis do not exist to heal you in any way.

Children in crisis do not exist to be a solution to your infertility.

Children in crisis do not exist to be your backup plan if you can’t have biological children.

Wanting a child does not entitle you to having one.

WANTING A CHILD DOES NOT ENTITLE YOU TO HAVING ONE.

If you are not adopting solely to help a child in crisis, if you are doing it because you want a child, you are not helping a child, you are just helping yourself.

And IF you want to help a child in crisis, it is better for them if you do not sever their legal relationship to their biological family by adopting them. You can hold guardianship and provide a loving, safe, secure home for them without adopting, and this is by far better for the wellbeing of the child.

Choosing adoption over guardianship because you don’t want to “deal with” the biological family is selfish and wrong, and it causes objective permanent harm to the child you claim to want to “help.”

The “blank slate” theory is a myth.

Adoption is trauma. Yes, even for newborns.

Separation from the birthing parent and the biological family is trauma. Yes, even for newborns.

Severing all ties to biological family is trauma. Yes, even for newborns.

Removing a child from their culture and heritage causes harm, and in the case of white people taking children of color from their communities, it's perpetuating the progress of colonialism and genocide.

Taking responsibility for a child in crisis means prioritizing their trauma care and their wellbeing above all else.

It is demonstrably true that guardianship and kinship care are less traumatic to a child than severing all ties to biological family through legal adoption.

If you've never heard of guardianship or kinship care, you are not knowledgeable enough to even consider being able to care for a child in crisis.

The adoption industry is a for-profit, multi-billion-dollar industry with a horrific history of human trafficking, eugenicist ideology, and straight-up baby stealing. These issues have not been sufficiently addressed in legislation and regulations, and the industry continues to exploit, violate, and traumatize untold numbers of children every day.

The adoption industry prioritizes the wants of the adopting parents over the wellbeing of the child.

Adoption is not the beautiful, romanticized method of family-building that the dominant culture makes it out to be.

Children are not property to be passed around for the pleasure of adults. Children are human beings with human rights. Children have a right to know who they are and where they biologically come from. Children have a right to maintain connections with their biological family, their culture, and their heritage. Adoption always interrupts the natural relationships inherent to these rights.