cookinghax

[cookinghax]

I keep trying to like red wine like a grown-up but like … it’s rotten grapes, guys. You can drink things that don’t taste like rotten grapes. Why

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I'm hungry

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I saw the future. There were so few bees left that they cross-bred beekeepers with them so they could better connect with them.

I was taking a test to identify plants (I won because some dude thought pineapples were berries) and after that I met a beekeeper who worked inside of a giant glass beehive and had little antennas and a dope ass beard.

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(source)

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Peppers are the spicy of the fire, mint is the spicy of the ice, carbonation is the spicy of the air, and vinegar is the spicy of the water.

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if cherries didn’t have that little rock in them then grapes would be out of a job

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‘pop’ is pretty heinous but like, I’ll accept it, yknow? it’s just the other half of ‘soda-pop,’ like how ‘cab’ and ‘taxi’ are the two halves of ‘taxicab.’ it’s fine. it’s chill.

but coke? that’s a fucking brand name! of a specific drink with a specific flavor! that shits RUDE, it’s CONFUSING, it’s DOWNRIGHT NONSENSICAL! fuckin misusing the art of language to confound your fellow man! the gall! learn some fucking respect

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i remember when i was little and i had to microwave something i’d always ask my mom how much time i needed to microwave it. like i thought at some point adults just learned the right amount of time to microwave anything. she was always right too so i believed her. now i’m an adult and i realized she didn’t know the right times for stuff. she just made it up. she’d be like, “i don’t know, a minute thirty?” and i’d walk away like, “wow how did she know that?” i used to think microwave times were like cooking laws you never broke. now i just throw shit in the microwave and set it on a whim. one minute? two minutes? four minutes? who cares? nothing is what you think it is. 

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I just discovered foodtimeline.org, which is exactly what it sounds like: centuries worth of information about FOOD.  If you are writing something historical and you want a starting point for figuring out what people should be eating, this might be a good place?

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One day, that “secret family recipe” will just be that recipe their ancestor looked up online years ago and everybody liked.

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tumblr i am literally begging you to let me reblog your shitpost ads

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wonwoo_oo

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Knife Condemned To Week Inside Saran-Wrapped Brownie Pan

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thought of my friend’s FB post the other day while making cookies